The Forgotten Rights of Passage (The Trophies 2)
by Bob Snicket
Summary: Where one question is answered, two more arise. Now that the Smash Brothers have established peace in the Nintendo World, they turn to another mystery that haunts their past. Soon they discover that their universe is much bigger than they'd realized. Inspired by the historic seizure of RareWare by Microsoft, which forever impacted Banjo & Kazooie, Donkey Kong, and other worlds.
1. Synopsis & Prologue

Synopsis and Subspace

* * *

 _ **T**_ he Nintendo World: undefined, unexplained, incomplete. From the majestic rainbows of the Mushroom Kingdom to the rolling hills of Hyrule; from the colorful critters of the Kongo Jungle to the ghostly terrors of the Twilight Forest; from the flashing lights of Fourside City to the arid deserts of Akaneia. All of these and other Nintendonian lands were pieces of the Nintendo World, but did not quite comprise it. No, there was something more; some essence to its identity that went beyond geographical or even planetary boundaries. Yet no inhabitant of the Nintendo World could put a finger on that essence, for they were as ignorant of their own place in this hybrid world as they were of what that world really meant to them.

That began to change when Master Hand arose from the shadows of the Battlefields. The giant white glove brought heroes and villains together for the first time—to fight each other. But when he took his manipulative game to the next level, when he sought to collect his chosen warriors like trophies, the Nintendo World truly came together to battle not each other, but a common enemy. Strangers became friends, and foes became—at least temporarily—allies.

Some time after the second Smash Tournament, Master Hand employed metal clones he'd created from the Smashers' DNA to imprison several of the world's most eminent fighters: Mario, Link, Pikachu, Ness, and so on. He did this to provoke the rest of the tournament participants (the Original 25)—and the rest of the world, for that matter—into going after their friends.

Clusters of Smashers gathered to journey to Master Hand's Room, where they knew not what challenges awaited them. Some were driven by nobility, such as the parties headed by Luigi and Red. Others were drawn in by necessity, like Samus and Fox who suddenly found themselves without transport. And a few—particularly Bowser and Ganondorf—were fueled by a thirst for revenge.

Regardless of their motives, the Smashers slowly but surely made their way toward the Room, with the occasional unexpected delay caused by besieged allies, traitorous Nintendonians, or even unfortunate carelessness. At length, all the Smashers (minus two) converged in Fourside City. There, they were deceived into entering an ill-willed tournament whose strings were being pulled by the great puppeteer himself, Master Hand—just as he had carefully manipulated many of their journeys' events.

The tournament proved to be a conspiracy to capture the Original 25, and it nearly succeeded in ensnaring not only those on their way to the Battlefields, but those who had escaped the Room and united with the resistance group, the Smash Brothers, who had come to meet their friends in Fourside. They suffered heavy losses—including the death of their leader, Impa— because of the duplicity of individuals such as Wario, Waluigi, and Shadow the Hedgehog, but the Seven Star Spirits of the Mushroom Kingdom saved them from certain destruction with a splendorous shower of shooting stars. Still, the Wire Frames led by Crazy Hand (Master Hand's left-handed counterpart) left Fourside devastated and nearly destitute.

From the ashes of the city, the remaining Smash Brothers reemerged, brushed off their shoulders, and got to work. Led by Professor Elvin Gadd and Meta Knight, they recruited Nintendonians far and wide to their cause, found the two missing Smashers (Mewtwo and Dr. Mario), instituted a rigorous training program, and even sent a party to a different dimension—The Dimension Conflux—to seek out the five Dimension Relics. These relics, along with the Original 25, had been prophesied by a ghostly fortune teller named Madame Clairvoya to be essential to the Smash Brothers' ultimate victory. But with the intervention of the metal doppelgangers, the heroes were only able to retrieve three of the relics (the Reset Button, the Life Shroom, and the Pencil), while Master Hand's minions made off with the Superstar and the Smash Ball.

Once the diverse armies of the Nintendo World had congregated in Fourside—many of them setting aside deep-rooted grudges and animosities to pursue a common cause—the united Smash Brothers had nothing left to do but to take the fight to Master Hand. With the help of Shadow, who had shown remorse for his mistakes and was anxious to help the Smash Brothers rescue his friend Sonic, they were as prepared as they could have been. They launched their assault on the Battlefields; they fought in the skies; they fought on the flashing purple plains; they fought in Master Hand's Room and in his fortress. The Boos, the Aparoids, the Starmen, the Pokémon crime lords, and the Space Pirates had all defected to Master Hand's side, but nearly everyone else fought the Wire Frames for the freedom of their world.

Professor E. Gadd fought his way to the lair of his evil cousin, Professor Ulysses Reeka. In that monstrous laboratory, he triumphed over the mad scientist with his opponent's own Magic Paintbrush, even with Gadd's Poltergust 3000 turned against him. Having slain Master Hand's fiendish servant, Gadd put an end to Reeka's perverse experiments, perhaps the worst being his five mutated hybrid creatures: The Shadow Hand (Shadow Queen + Floormaster), Piranha Gohma (Petey Piranha + Gohma), Mr. Dragon Patch (Mr. Patch + Dogadon), Krackorock (Kracko + Regirock), and Aparidley (Ridley + Aparoid).

The Smashers triumphed over the rest of Master Hand's pawns only for Master Hand to come down himself and activate the Smash Ball. Using this power, he and Crazy Hand subjected the Original 25 to a perilous fight to the finish in which only five of them could face the Hands at a time. Eventually, the Smashers came out victorious, but their enemy wasn't done with them yet.

Their true enemy was Master, a being known to Kirby as the Cloaked Nightmare who had gone under the guise of Master and Crazy Hand in his pursuit of world conquest. Nightmare had once belonged to a different dimension, part of a team of humans that were responsible for the Nintendo World's creation. However, he had wanted to change the rules to cause evil to triumph over good, and as a result, he had been banished to that very world he'd failed to change. Because of this curse, Nightmare dedicated himself to spreading fear and chaos wherever he went, creeping from the shadows and introducing evil into the hearts of many.

After telling his story, Nightmare used the Smash Rod to decimate the Smash Brothers' armies, leaving everyone as trophies—or corpses. But the Hand of Fate had other plans, for Mario, Link, Kirby, and Ness were inexplicably revived from their immobilized state and stood to face Nightmare once and for all. They defeated every monster and twisted form Nightmare threw at them with the additional aid of Dr. Mario, Meta Knight, Gadd, and Mewtwo, but then faced certain doom as Nightmare filled the Room with his destructive whirlwind and fell upon them. Yet at the last second, Kirby found himself saved by a stray Warpstar, which he rode into Nightmare's core, banishing the supervillain from This World forever.

The Nintendo World was left with a third of its population lost, but also with the promise of a united future. The Smash Brothers became a provisional interregional government. As they began to recover, they reached a state of peace and prosperity like none of them had ever experienced.

* * *

But within that first year of reconstruction, evil reared its ugly head once again. A new threat showed its face: the Subspace Army. Made up of a variety of hostile creatures, these forces sought to fulfill the will of their master, the Ancient Minister. Aided by Wario, Bowser, and Ganondorf (who had been released from the Sacred Realm by the enemy), the Ancient Minister directed a calculated plot to transform the Nintendo World's heroes into trophies once again; not only that, but he employed Gadd's own R.O.B. robot units to activate Subspace Bombs that would draw the world into the nether region of Subspace piece by piece.

The Smash Brothers, scattered across the world, gathered in small clusters once more to deal with the Subspace Army. With new Smash Tournaments taking place and Madame Clairvoya's prophecy fulfilled, the Original 25 were no longer the exclusively chosen heroes of Nintendo; many others joined them on this quest. Banding together, they defeated Wario, Ganondorf, and Bowser. They discovered that Mr. Game & Watch's essence had been manipulated to extract Shadow Bugs, fuzzy purple dots that formed the moldable substance of the Subspace Army.

The Ancient Minister was revealed to be Gadd's original R.O.B. prototype, who had been enslaved along with his brothers to serve what appeared to be a resurrected Master Hand. R.O.B. nearly sacrificed his life in order to help several Smash Brothers escape a particularly large Subspace Bomb.

At last, the Smashers converged on the gaping portal to Subspace left behind by the bomb. They dismantled the cannon that would have enveloped the rest of the Nintendo World and entered Subspace itself to confront the source of their troubles. They found that Master Hand was indeed behind the campaign—but not in the way they expected.

It was some kind of reanimated—though not entirely self-willed—version of Master Hand. But each of the white fingers were controlled by a golden chain, all of which were held like puppet strings by a strange being that looked somewhat like a neon blue Wire Frame.

Tabuu.

The immaterial man unfurled what appeared to be two radioactive butterfly wings and unleashed his secret weapon: the Off Wave. This transformed all of the Smashers back into trophies, reminiscent of what Nightmare had once done with the Smash Rod. Then, a few of the Smashers who had been wearing King Dedede's peculiar badges were revived. They traversed the Great Maze—a conglomeration of the various pieces of the Nintendo World that had been taken into Subspace—and freed the rest of the Smashers.

They would have fallen to Tabuu's devastating Off Wave attack a second time had not Sonic the Hedgehog intervened, shattering the being's luminous wings and giving them a fair fight. The battle that followed was terribly close, but finally, Tabuu was defeated and destroyed.

It was only afterward that Kirby and Professor E. Gadd realized who this Tabuu had really been: He was none other than Nightmare (or what was left of him), who had been trapped in Subspace after his first defeat and had sought to bring the rest of the Nintendo World down with him.

* * *

And so the greatest threat within the Nintendo World was vanquished twice, never to trouble them again. Yet to a select few, there was a threat at least as great as Nightmare—if not greater— _without_ their beloved mainland. Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Banjo  & Kazooie, Sonic, and all of their closest friends retained a memory of a war which, for some reason, everyone else had forgotten. A war that had ended in survival, but had not ended well and had left many loose ends to tie up. A war that had drastically changed the world they lived in—and not just the Nintendo World, but the entire Smash Planet.

The Copyright Wars.

* * *

Prologue

* * *

 **Shadow Moses Island**

 **A Long Time Ago**

* * *

 _ **S**_ _nake glanced quickly from behind the oil barrels he was using as cover._

 _"It's no good; there are too many of them. We'll have to find another way inside."_

 _"That's a negative, Snake. There's no time."_

 _"Meryl, wait!"_

 _But his friend, who had been crouching behind another line of barrels a few yards away, was already running toward the helipad, behind which loomed the imposing steel walls of the compound—a nuclear weapons disposal plant that was really a façade for a secret facility that did quite the opposite. The metal surfaces glinted off of the floodlights with a tinge of silvery green, blurred by the pouring rain that hammered against the building like muffled machine guns._

 _Meryl Silverburgh dove behind the helipad ledge and raised her two pistols. The red flashes that flared with each shot almost matched her shoulder-length hair, which was really her only identifying feature within her special-ops camo suit. Her fearless eyes burned with the same flames of her firearms as she picked off the men grouped in front of the garage-sized door. The enemies possessed weapons of similar power, but they were dressed like a bunch of cowboys who had just taken a swim in the Mississippi and were rearing to round up some buffalo for supper._

Well, the girl's got guts, _Snake thought._ But someday she'll realize that I won't be there to bail her out every time her blood starts to boil.

 _Snake sighed as he stood up and shook out some of the water dripping through his short beard and straggly brown hair, which was also on the long side but was pulled back with a gray headband so that it wouldn't get in his face. His muscles bulged within his camo suit as he aimed a sniper rifle. With a single pop, three Pandorans fell in a row._

 _Snake leapt over the barrels and around the left side of the helipad, somersaulted, and simultaneously kicked two more gunslingers in the face. One tried to get up, so he used his fist to convince him otherwise, then began to punch his way around the line._

 _Just when it looked like they were going to win, the steel door opened to permit a dozen more Pandorans to burst onto the scene. At the same time, several Hayabusa ninjas appeared from behind metal crates and platforms to their rear, and a number of burly COG troopers began raining fire from the top of the walls on either side. They were boxed in._

 _"Agh!" Meryl winced as a bullet grazed her shoulder. She and Snake holed themselves up in a corner behind a metal crate that gave them the best possible cover. "Where are those guys? They were supposed to rendezvous here two minutes ago."_

 _As if waiting for her cue, a spinning orange blur sent two of the black-robed ninjas into either wall, winning the attention of the rest of the clan. Crash Bandicoot, a bipedal fox-like creature wearing blue jeans and running shoes, engaged the warriors with poorly concealed enjoyment._

 _At the same time, a cloud of fire engulfed one of the COG troopers on the roof, and another screamed as a small purple dragon tore him from the top of the wall and flung him past the opposite end of the compound. Spyro's regal yellow horns and steaming nostrils alarmed Microsoft's forces as much as any nuclear weapon._

 _Even so, Snake and Meryl had their hands more than full with the seemingly endless flow of Pandorans, which were pouring through the door like irritated red ants swarming around their prey. Snake yelled as a bullet lodged itself inside his right leg. He could still shoot, but even ignoring the pain, his hand-to-hand combat skills wouldn't do him much good at this point._

 _A ball of bright blue energy shot across the helipad and seared through several Pandorans. Megaman dropped onto the helipad by releasing his hold on his robotic bird friend, Beat, ran forward in his blue armor, and began firing small laser pellets at the oncoming gunmen._

 _Another spinning blur, this one a deep sapphire, soared over both the ninjas and the helipad and bowled through the door, taking down any Pandorans in its way. It rolled in a few circles to clear away any straggling foes and then uncurled itself._

 _"Come on," Sonic the Hedgehog said with a smile. "We've got a base to take back."_

 _Leaving Spyro and Crash to occupy the remaining enemies, the four Sony heroes dashed inside, finding themselves in a long, dark hallway with a few flickering fluorescent lights illuminating every fifteen feet._

 _"This way."_

 _There were any number of branching hallways and rooms they could turn at, but Snake knew the command center would be where this thing would end—one way or another. He limped as fast as he could, his hand pressed against his thigh, with the others following close behind._

 _"Snake, you should stay here and treat that wound." Meryl noticed his injury with a concerned expression._

 _But the spy just shook his head, ignoring the cold and the pain. "I'll be more likely to die if we don't keep moving. The Chief's men could be patrolling anywhere."_

 _Snake's point taken, no one made any further objections as they pressed on, finally ascending a single flight of metal stairs to an ominous door with heavy bolts._

 _Snake nodded at Megaman. "Do it."_

 _Megaman nodded back and turned to the door. He fired a flashing red Grappler Bomb from his arm cannon. The steel spike on the other end dug into the door, flashed for a few seconds, and exploded, blasting the door open._

 _They braced themselves for a fight, but nothing came out of the resulting smoke. Snake cautiously motioned for them to proceed up the stairs and into the command center._

 _Computers. Radar scanners. Audio equipment. A panoramic window that looked out upon the dark, mournful forest outside, the ocean visible a few miles away even in the black of night._

 _A single figure stood before the window with its hands clasped behind its back, appearing to be admiring the view. It turned around to reveal its thick, sophisticated green battle armor, the helmet visor glinting with an amber sheen._

 _His electronically amplified voice was powerful; commanding; subduing._

 _"I admire your boldness, soldier…but you were foolish to come here."_

 _"We'll see about that."_

 _Snake raised his rifle to his shoulder, but as he did so, a pair of armored arms wrapped themselves around his arms and his throat. Several similarly armored Spartans overpowered Meryl, Megaman, and Sonic, their superpowered grips impossibly strong._

 _"Bring the woman."_

 _The Spartan holding Meryl dragged her forward without much effort despite her struggling. He forced her to her knees._

 _"It doesn't have to be like this, Snake." The Master Chief drew a black gun whose design outmatched anything Snake or the entire Sony World possessed. "We only want your allegiance. The Nintendonians must pay for their insubordination. You_ will _help us…willingly or otherwise."_

 _"Never!" Snake spat._

 _"Have it your way, then." Master Chief held the gun to Meryl's head. Her eyes widened as they made contact with Snake's._

 _Snake's brain felt like it was about to implode. "Wait—"_

 _"Too late," the Chief said._

 _He pulled the trigger._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** As indicated in the title, this story is indeed a direct continuation of _The Trophies._ While this sequel will certainly be found most meaningful to those who have read its predecessor, the synopsis provided here should be sufficient for anyone who wishes to jump aboard. If you are interested in learning about the events in the synopsis in greater detail, however, I highly recommend reading _The Trophies_ first.

Also, I have created maps for aid in visualizing the geography of this story. Among the maps include the global map of Smash Planet, the Nintendo World, the Sony World, and the Microsoft World. Although I cannot directly link to them here, all you have to do is search for the user Bob_Snicket on Photobucket, where you will find the maps easily accessible and, I hope, useful and interesting.

As of today, I am about 2/3rds done writing this story, which will have an estimated 20 chapters (not including the Prologue). I would greatly appreciate feedback both positive and constructively critical so that I can continue refining my craft.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 1: A New Old World

Book 1

Sony

* * *

Chapter 1: A New Old World

* * *

 **One Year after Nightmare's Defeat**

* * *

 _ **A**_ s the raft with the Smash symbol sail floated steadily toward the coast, the Original 25 watched with mixed excitement and apprehension. They had dealt with foreigners from other kingdoms, islands, even other planets, but somehow this felt different. And to one Smasher in particular, it felt vaguely familiar.

Donkey Kong's memory of the Copyright Wars was spotty at best. He remembered the conflict between Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony; that it had centered around Microsoft's imperialistic seizure of several islands allied with Nintendo; that both Microsoft and Sony had combined forces against them; and that it had resulted in the utter destruction of his family's beloved DK Isle. But as for how it had ended…how several foreigners had ended up stranded in the Nintendo World…how a truce had been reached…he drew a blank.

In any case, he didn't exactly recognize the figure on the raft even as it came to a halt on the beach; he just had a strange déjà vu moment that for some reason reminded him of the dark past before his permanent relocation on the mainland.

The Original 25 was not quite complete as the mysterious stranger floated (rather than walked) off the raft onto the shore. Dr. Mario had returned to his home in the Dimension Conflux where he served as the Overseer—the one in charge of managing affairs among the various dimensions. And Ganondorf had been sealed back in the Sacred Realm by Link and Zelda after his recent rampage during the aftermath of Nightmare's defeat, and then again once Tabuu had been dealt with. Nonetheless, they felt almost as if it was their final duty as a chosen unit to welcome—or defend against—this newcomer. Professor E. Gadd had insisted on them being here alone based on some poetic elderly whim, but they'd agreed to come for the sake of presenting a strong, united face for the Nintendo World.

At last the passenger approached them so they could see its details illuminated by the midmorning sun. But as strange as the Nintendo World could be, this had to be one of the strangest beings any of them had ever come across.

Its head was a yellow retro computer monitor; the dark green screen was populated by two lighter green bars, a line running down the center, and a single pixelated dot near the bottom. It was, in fact, a face resembling the game of Pong, which Ness knew to be the oldest video game ever created. But that wasn't the weirdest part. Instead of a body, it seemed to be wearing a tall mauve robe with no arms or legs, three golden pins fastening it together in front while not really hiding the complete absence of a body inside, and white fur around the collar like the coat of a king. And perched on its shoulder was a living, breathing white computer mouse with red specks for eyes and a USB cord for a tail. Its voice much resembled the Speak-and-Spell utterances of Mr. Game & Watch, except a little smoother with a bit of pomp.

"I come in peace."

No one said anything.

The Pong paddles that were the being's eyes blinked. "That _is_ what humans say when they wish to survive an alien encounter, yes?"

Another long moment of silence. Finally, his curiosity killing him, DK was the one to break the ice. "Who are you?"

"Ah. Yes. My apologies. I am known as the Lord of Games, or L.O.G. for short. I have had a hand in the creation of every video game ever made. But more importantly, I am the honorary ambassador hailing from the Microsoft World, here to reestablish contact and make amends with the good people of Nintendo after the tragic conclusion of the Copyright Wars."

"Copyright Wars?" DK knew there had been something to his intuitive awakening. "I thought Microsoft was our enemy."

"Times have changed," L.O.G. said. "Or rather, people have changed. Although between you and me, there are some in my world who would still have war with yours, the majority of us have come to regret the violence that tore our relationship apart. You see, I am also a member of the alliance known as RareWare; we are a peace-seeking organization who represent the islands between our two worlds—as well as a few others—that were victimized by Microsoft's bid for total control of our lands. My hope, friends, is that we can begin to mend the bonds that were broken so long ago, and perhaps come to a peaceful settlement on the issue of our contested islands."

Finally, a few more Smashers began warming up to the sentient computer.

"I'm a-Mario," Mario said, almost raising his arm to shake hands, then lowering it when he realized there would be nothing to shake.

"I'm Link, from Hyrule."

"Pikaa!"

"Poyo!"

"Fox McCloud, at your service."

"Thank you," L.O.G. said, appearing relieved by his peaceful reception but nevertheless anxious to continue. "I look forward to getting to know each of you better. I know all about the Original 25, yes—how could I not, being who I am—but there is much to be discussed, and I believe there may perhaps be a more fitting venue in which to discuss it."

DK nodded. "Thanks for coming all the way out here. From what you say, I think we can do a lot of good."

"Yes." The mouse ran down the edge of the mauve coat and disappeared inside. "Now, what is it you humans say…take me to your leader?"

* * *

Rather than meeting in Gadd's laboratory, the decision was soon made to gather at a closer location—namely, the Kong Family Treehouse in the midst of the Kongo Jungle. By now, the professor had managed to establish portals that would instantly take anyone almost anywhere in the Nintendo World, and it had been a mere matter of calling him and waiting for him to set up a portable portal. They still retained a couple elements of Professor U. Reeka's Wire Frame Pods, which was the technology Gadd had used to create his own portals. But instead of stepping into a mound of gelatinous purple goo, they enjoyed the luxury of walking through a small arch composed of what looked like amethyst aluminum foil but could be passed through like a normal doorway.

The treehouse resided a few yards beneath the jungle's canopy so that it felt enclosed by the dense foliage but also allowed for plenty of natural light to fall upon the array of wooden walkways and thatched huts. For some, the humidity was almost unbearable—especially the Ice Climbers, although they never seemed to remove anything more than their hoods and gloves no matter how hot they were. The still air carried a ripe, fruity smell that complemented the faint cacophony of the jungle's wildlife.

Joining the Original 25 and L.O.G. on the largest platform with a number of whittled wooden benches were Gadd, his second in command Meta Knight, and all who could remember at least some details of the Copyright Wars—namely, the other Kongs (Diddy, Dixie, Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky; the rest were occupied elsewhere), the former residents of the Isle o' Hags (Banjo & Kazooie, Bottles, Jam-Jars, Mumbo Jumbo, and Humba Wumba), the Mobians (Sonic, Shadow, Knuckles, Tails, and Amy), and Conker the squirrel—the one racer from Timber's Island who had come to visit Diddy since Nightmare's defeat.

Gadd, who sat beside Meta Knight and L.O.G., stood up on his log bench, adjusted his swirl-framed glasses, and cleared his throat.

"Thank you all for coming." He turned to the newcomer. "And thank you, L.O.G., for traveling so far to reestablish contact with our world. I'm gonna give you the floor, and then we'll go from there." He nodded to the sentient computer and sat back down.

L.O.G., who couldn't really sit seeing as he had no body, remained upright, floating slightly up and down, his blank Pong expression somehow conveying a nervousness that he was still trying to overcome.

"Greetings, earthlings…er, I mean, great heroes of Nintendo." He inclined his head in a gesture of respect while Bowser suppressed a snort after being called a hero. "You already know why I have come: to tear down walls and build metaphorical bridges of friendship. I and my people have long suffered from the animosity between our worlds—both during the Copyright Wars and since their conclusion. Most of us seem to have forgotten everything that happened, even within the worlds of RareWare; I know not why. But now that you all have been informed of where our worlds stand in relation to one another, allow me to propose a solution to the tension that still exists between us even in the absence of war.

"Being the Lord of Games that I am, I have no permanent home. But I am sure I would have met at least a few of you under less troubling circumstances had not the wars divided our worlds so completely." His eyes paused for a while on Banjo & Kazooie, though they, like the rest, had no recollection of having met L.O.G. before.

"Still, though there is much work to be done, I do bring some good news: Most of the warmongers who gave Microsoft a bad name have either fallen out of power or become more temperate in their perspective toward foreign lands. Indeed, with the exception of a few—most of them from the military regime of Reach—the world I represent feels ready to extend the hand of friendship to both Nintendo and Sony, and with that to express a great remorse for their unjustified war crimes.

"Granted, as a member of RareWare, I do not feel that we are quite ready to negotiate the current ambiguous ownership of the islands between here and Microsoft. Even a few war hawks could be enough to provoke unwanted violence. Thus, my proposition is that we send an expedition of Nintendo's finest to first make contact with the Sony World. I am quite confident they do not harbor any ill will toward your kingdoms, and you would be able to befriend them at little risk. Once the two of you have become—how do you humans say it—BFF's?—then we can discuss an arrangement with the few discontented Microsians that will surely be more agreeable to them with everyone else in all three worlds on board. Then we can right the wrongs of the past and enjoy a worldwide prosperity the likes of which Smash Planet has never known. Thank you." L.O.G. backed away a bit, which seemed to be his version of taking a seat.

The gathered Smash Brothers broke into applause, all looking pleased except for a select few, among them Bowser, Jam-Jars, and Shadow. The three of them did not tend to award their trust easily to anyone.

"Let us open up for questions, then," Gadd said once the noise had subsided. "Most distinguished ambassador, permit me to ask the first one. How did you get here on such a small raft? And by yourself?"

L.O.G. blinked. "The leaders of Microsoft and RareWare both felt it best to send a single emissary so as not to cause alarm or convey misunderstood intentions."

Gadd nodded. "Makes sense."

"As for the raft…I, being who I am, was well suited for this voyage because as a computer I do not require nourishment like organisms do; I can also program a raft, like a video game, to go wherever I want it to, and as I said, we wished to make a nonthreatening impression as opposed to sending over a giant warship."

"Your raft…" Meta Knight's glowing yellow eyes tilted quizzically. "It carries the symbol of our Smash Tournaments on the sail; how did you come by it? What is its meaning in your world?"

"A good question. And one that I am not entirely sure how to answer. What I do know is that RareWare was originally going to decal the sail with our own logo, but given the negative connotations it has with the Copyright Wars, we opted for this curious circle that I have found, for some odd reason, exists in some way, shape, or form on every part of this planet. We chose it and attribute to it our own meaning: that of the unity and commonality that can and ought to be forged between our worlds. Where it originated, however, I cannot say."

Marth, hero of Akaneia, stood up. "And if we were to embark on this diplomatic quest to the Sony World, how would you suggest we go about choosing our crew?"

The mouse crawled onto L.O.G.'s head, gazing at the swordsman and the other Nintendonians with open curiosity. L.O.G. paid no attention to it as he responded. "That is up to your leaders, of course. But I would recommend putting together a representative selection from all your kingdoms, as well as inviting any who have been to the other worlds or islands so as to meet your hosts on common ground."

"Thank you, L.O.G.," Gadd said, standing up. Already the sun was setting. "We will convene again tomorrow once we've had time to discuss your proposition." He gave his trademark toothy grin. "But I think if all goes well, we may very well take you up on your offer. Lanky and Chunky will show you to your quarters for the night. Until then!"

L.O.G. inclined his head in respect and followed the orangutan and gorilla down one of the boardwalks to Cranky Kong's old cabin, which had been vacant since the old ape's death, DK having assumed the position of the new Kong Family Head.

Once they were gone, Gadd addressed those who remained. "Well, then, lads…what do we think? I for one am all for it; this could be just the opportunity we've been waiting for!"

A general murmur of assent sounded from the Smashers and the rest. But then one familiar voice rose above the others.

"Personally, I think it's a load of crap."

All heads turned toward Bowser, who was still sitting with his arms folded in contempt.

"Do explain," Gadd prompted.

"I mean, think about it. Microsoft was apparently the main instigator of these Copyright Wars; it ends in some mysterious truce that nobody remembers; and now they just show up on our shore and suddenly want to be all buddy-buddy again?" He snorted. "I trust that tin can about as much as I'd trust Wario with my bank account. How do we know they're not just trying to get us to send a bunch of our strongest fighters away so they can invade us while we're vulnerable? We're a third down on our population, for Star Heaven's sake! We can't afford to listen to some shady metal crackpot when we're barely able to stabilize our own world as it is, let alone trying to settle age-old grudges on the other side of the planet."

"The Koopa's words are crude," Shadow said quietly, "but he has a point. What if this is all a setup intended not to make reparations for the wars, but to resume them?"

"My soldier's instinct tends to agree with these two," Jam-Jars shouted. As the military mole brother of Bottles who always went around in uniform with dehumanizing shades and a strategical pointing stick, he seemed incapable of speaking at a normal volume, even when he wasn't angry. "After the two consecutive assaults by Nightmare, our resources and manpower are dangerously low."

With these words of dissent, many of those gathered were beginning to nod; minds were changing.

"Excuse me." A soft voice that could barely be heard above the assorted muttering was followed by a polite cough that miraculously gained most of their attention. The dainty princess of the Mushroom Kingdom then spoke.

"I think you've all brought up really good points," Peach said. "But let me ask you this: If L.O.G. and Microsoft wanted to attack us while we're weak and knew about everyone we lost to the Battlefields last year, then why wouldn't they have just caught us off guard with everything they've got? From what it sounds like, I think it's safe to say that Microsoft's military strength far outmatches our own right now. It doesn't really make sense that they would put us on alert, as they have now, just to distract a couple dozen of us when they attack."

"She's right," Princess Zelda said. "Yes, there's a chance that this L.O.G. may be trying to soften us for Microsoft to strike. But with the peace we now have, there won't be any better time to address our unresolved problems. Now that our worlds seem to be coming into contact again, it won't be long until the issue of the islands instigates another war—with or without the Microsian imperialists' influence. We must do as he's advised: We must send a party to the Sony World. Then we will soon learn whether L.O.G. has told us the truth that Sony is as ready to befriend us as he says."

"I agree," Meta Knight said.

"It's about time we Mobians go home anyways," Sonic said to the approval of Tails, Knuckles, and Amy. "Once we get back there, we can get to the bottom of how we ended up stuck in the Nintendo World in the first place…not that we don't love it here, but it's been far too long since we've seen our families and friends."

"Hey! Guys! How's this for an idea?"

To everyone's surprise, the red-orange squirrel Conker, clad in a blue jacket and tennis shoes, had spoken up in an almost obnoxiously high-pitched squeak.

"What if we send one group to Sony, just like the computer guy said…and then what if we send _another_ group to some of the islands—just to check out the terrain, and see whether Microsoft's been up to anything naughty? My home's on the Microsoft mainland originally, but I've been living on Timber's Island for quite some time and I wanna be sure everyone's still okay down there. Even with Wizpig long gone, weird things tend to happen that far out to sea…."

After at least another hour of debating, Conker's plan carried the day. The Nintendonians dispersed with the looming prospect of the tremendous undertakings before them.

* * *

Red wandered pensively through the Veridian Forest with the company of three of his best friends: Pichu, Jigglypuff, and Pikachu. Since the decision had been made two weeks ago to send an expedition to the Sony World, and he had been designated as one of the representatives, he had been overcome with a smoothie of mixed emotions. He was glad that he would be able to take any Pokémon he wanted with him, and he was excited at the prospect of embarking on another grand adventure. But at the same time, he was filled with uncertainties.

He stopped to watch a Caterpie hanging by a silky thread from one of the bushy trees, slowly wrapping itself in a String Shot that would eventually become a cocoon known as a Metapod—a transitionary phase before it emerged again as a fully fledged Butterfree. Sometimes he felt just like a Metapod: shielded from the worst of the world's dangers, yet blind and oblivious to the big picture unfolding around him.

His mind turned to his parents: his mother, back in Pallet Town, with whom he'd been staying for the past two weeks. She was the kindest and most loving woman he'd ever known; yet there had always been a bit of a shield behind which she hid, too—a sadness that he was only now beginning to understand as he matured.

He had little or no memory of his father, who had left him when he was five for reasons unknown. His mother refused to talk about it, yet Red still felt an unexplainable certainty that his dad hadn't left his family just because he didn't care about them. A part of Red deep down accepted that the man had probably been killed chasing after some Legendary Pokémon, but there was still a piece that clung to the hope that he might still be out there, that one day he might return.

"Pika, Pika!"

"Pikachu, wait up!" Red was caught off guard by his first Pokémon suddenly dashing into the thick of the woods; apparently the Electric Mouse Pokémon had sensed something and had gone ahead to investigate.

Red, Pichu, and Jigglypuff chased after their friend for some while, but they were soon far behind to the point where they could no longer hear Pikachu scuttling through the tall grass and over branches and bushes and protruding roots. Pichu's senses alone were acute enough to lead them in the right direction; his speed would have been able to keep up with Pikachu's as well, but he didn't want to leave his trainer behind.

"Pikaaa…chuuuu!...Pi…."

The voice had been muffled by the dense shrubbery, but it was enough to direct Red where he needed to go. He was worried now, though; the first part had sounded like an attack—a Thundershock, judging by the faint sparking noises he'd heard—but the last part sounded like Pikachu was in pain. And unfortunately, Red had become quite proficient at reading his Pokémon's statuses from their voices.

Finally, they burst into a small clearing that couldn't have been more than ten feet in diameter. His eyes were immediately drawn to the yellow figure in the middle: Pikachu. And it looked like he had fainted. As Red raised his eyes to the other edge of the clearing, the instigator soon became apparent. But its identity was more shocking than any Electric attack.

It was Mr. Game & Watch, but it wasn't. The normally two-dimensional body had acquired a bizarre 2.5-D quality because it was made of solid metal. A beam of sunlight reflected off of its round, fathomless face, its iron key still in hand…with a thick red liquid dripping from it.

Metal Mr. Game & Watch. Red vaguely remembered Gadd mentioning how two of Master Hand's metal clones had survived the war, the other being Metal Mario, but that they had vanished and hadn't been seen since. Until now.

Red had been too taken aback to respond immediately, but Pichu and Jigglypuff, angered by their injured friend, had no such reservations. Pichu launched himself with an indignant Headbutt while Jigglypuff rolled toward the doppelganger with a passionate Rollout.

But Metal Game & Watch was too quick. It met both of their attacks with a metallic brick, catapulting both of them back into two tree trunks beside Red. For one strange moment, it seemed to fix its gaze on Red, who prepared himself for a fight, but then it turned and disappeared into the forest like a silvery shadow.

Forgetting the enemy, Red and his Pokémon rushed up to Pikachu, the boy kneeling down and putting a tender hand on the creature.  
"Pikachu?" No movement. "Pikachu, wake up!"

For some reason, Red knew this was far more severe than mere unconsciousness, and then he realized why: the wound from the key had ripped a hole straight through the Pokémon's chest.

Red pulled out a Max Potion, and then a Max Revive, but even after pouring both concoctions on Pikachu, nothing happened. Tears began to stream from Red's eyes as he cradled Pikachu in his arms.

"No…no…not again…." It seemed only yesterday that he had been in the same situation with Charizard, who had given his life in the Battle of Fourside. His mind was numb. This couldn't be happening. Not now. But his denial could not change the reality.

Pikachu was gone.

"Puff." Jigglypuff snuggled against her master's shoulder in a gesture of consolation, herself overwhelmed with grief. Pichu, on the other hand, underwent a much different reaction.

"Piiiiii…CHUUUUUUUUU!"

A mighty Thunder tore through the sky and rippled around him, sending a shockwave that unintentionally knocked over both Red and Jigglypuff and cleared a ring of conflagrated trees around him. Pichu's body, meanwhile, had become a pure white. Glowing. Changing. Evolving.

* * *

There was not much Gadd nor any of the Smash Brothers could do. Red stood in front of a small mound in the Pallet Town graveyard. A large turnout of Smash Brothers had come for the funeral, including most of the Smashers and Professor E. Gadd. Beside Red were his auburn-haired mother, Delia; his sister, April; and his cousin and longtime rival, Gary. None of them seemed to know how to comfort Red. But Gary did at least understand how Red felt.

"When Blastoise fell," he said, his eyes fixed on Pikachu's grave, "my first thought was to kill the one responsible. I guess Tyranitar and Nascour got theirs. But Evice survived, and Giovanni got away." He took his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms. "But I soon realized that getting revenge wouldn't bring him back. The only way I was ever going to find peace was by letting him go…."

Red said nothing. He didn't know if he even wanted to be around anyone right now. The full weight of his loss still hadn't registered, and he wondered if he continued with this surreal absence of thought whether he might just wake up to find all of it a bad dream. Then he heard Gadd's voice, though he didn't turn to look at him, either.

"Lad…I just want you to know that you needn't feel any obligation to go on the voyage to Sony. We can find someone else to represent Kanto—Lance; or maybe even Gary—"

"No," Red said, cutting him off. "I have to do this. He wouldn't have wanted me to quit searching just because he won't be there for it."

Gadd didn't pretend to know what exactly Red meant by "searching," but he gently placed a wrinkled hand on the boy's shoulder. "Of course."

He went over to Mario and the real Mr. Game & Watch, who had been impacted by this development in a very different way. To both of them, this was a wakeup call that they'd never expected to come. Somehow, after their exploits with Master Hand, they had begun to take for granted and assume that the Original 25 had some sort of immunity. Their survival as a whole had been essential to fulfilling Madame Clairvoya's prophecy of Nightmare's downfall. Link and Ganondorf had even been killed in battle only to be more or less raised from the dead by the Triforce of Wisdom. But now that all of that was over, it seemed no such safety existed any longer. Anyone could be killed—even the Smashers. Pikachu had been the first…but would he be the last?

"We can't stop what we're doing to search for them," Gadd said, as if reading their thoughts. "Metal Mario and Mr. Game & Watch have certainly proven they're still a deadly threat. But the expedition begins next week. I'd urge you fellas to try and stay focused, in spite of all this. I know that might seem callous, but believe me, it's not because I don't care about every life we lose, especially one so noble as Pikachu."

He looked off into the afternoon sky to the south, a flock of Spearow making their way across it in a V formation. "It's because I'm afraid of losing more."

* * *

"I AM GLAD YOU HAVE COME, YOUNG ONE."

Young Link bowed his head before the Great Deku Tree, his childhood Kokiri friend Saria at his side.

"I'm gonna be away for a long time, so I'll need all the advice I can get."

The deep, slow voice resonated through the Kokiri Forest like a colossal bass drum. "THE DEATH OF A SMASHER IS DISTURBING NEWS, INDEED…IT APPEARS THAT MORE THAN ONE FORCE HAS AWAKENED WITH AN INSIDIOUS PURPOSE AGAINST OUR WORLD…AND I SENSE THERE WILL BE MORE SOON TO COME…."

"What must I do?" The young hero asked. "How can I stop more things like this from happening in Sony? In Microsoft?"

"YOU MUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, LINK…BE THE LIGHT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NONE…FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE RIGHT…DO NOT FEAR CHANGE…YOU HAVE YET TO FAIL, AND I HAVE FAITH THIS WORLD WILL YET SUCCEED AGAIN….BUT BEWARE…AS WITH MASTER HAND, I SENSE AGAIN THAT SOMETHING DEEP IS AFOOT…SOMETHING AS ANCIENT AS THE PLANET'S EXISTENCE ITSELF…SOMETHING THAT MAY EXPLAIN WHY OUR THREE WORLDS HAVE SO LONG BEEN AT ODDS…NOT EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS AS IT SEEMS…."

As usual, the Great Deku Tree did not exchange pleasantries when he was done talking. He just froze up and became nothing more than a giant oak once more.

Young Link sighed and turned to Saria. "Sometimes I wish he wouldn't do that."

Saria smiled. "Yeah…but what fun would that be?"

* * *

"My princess, please…I beg you to listen to reason!"

Mario, Princess Peach, and her chief advisor and longtime guardian, Toadsworth, stood in the opulent throne room of Peach's Castle, the heart of the Mushroom Kingdom. Checkered tiles, red carpets, gold-edged velvet chairs, scarlet draperies, and brilliant chandeliers gave the chamber a decidedly royal ambience.

But Peach would have none of it. She brushed a strand of her curly blond hair away from her face. "Thank you, Toadsworth, but you of all people should know that I'm more than capable of looking after myself. I'm tired of being treated like a lost child who has to be confined to her quarters every waking moment. I'm going, and that's that."

By now, Toadsworth was completely exasperated. He turned to Mario. "Master Mario…please, talk some sense into her. Surely you agree with me, yes?"

Mario gulped. He didn't like it when he had to choose between his loyalty to Peach and to others he trusted. Truth be told, he wasn't thrilled by the prospect of Peach going on this trip, but he also knew that once she'd made up her mind, there would be little even he could do to change it.

"I don't a-know…" He caught the steel in Peach's eyes, and suddenly his mind was made up. "Peach is the best diplomat in the Mushroom a-Kingdom. Luigi and I could a-go, but I think she's more ready for this kind of a-challenge than me."

"Thanks, Mario." Peach smiled and pecked him on the cheek.

 _Mission accomplished_ , Mario thought.

She turned to Toadsworth. "Besides; I've got Perry to protect me." She unfurled her yellow umbrella, which caught the old Toad off guard when it had a cheery face and began to talk.

"Yeah, it's been ages since I've gotten to do anything! Peach wasn't able to grab me before she was kidnapped by either Master Hand or Tabuu, so it's about time we go kick some butt!" He remembered the nature of the mission. "Uh…not that I _want_ to start a fight. But just in case!"

Toadsworth's eyes widened; he'd forgotten all about that magical umbrella the Princess had come across when she'd had to rescue Mario and Luigi for a change. He sighed. "My, my. Very well, your Highness. I can see you will not be dissuaded. I shall consent to your going…but on one condition." He pounded his walking stick on the tiled floor. "I'm coming with you."

"But—" Peach began.

"Yes, Princess. I haven't gotten much fresh air since our bout on Delfino Island, and that didn't turn out to be much of a vacation, did it? I do say, perhaps this little jaunt will give this old geezer precisely the refreshing experience my stiff body's been aching for."

* * *

Yoshi lay alone on the southern shore of the Kongo Jungle, watching the sun set to the west of Yoshi's Island a few miles away. He'd spent the majority of the past year at his home there, relaxing in the company of his fellow Yoshis. They had always been a peace-loving race. He felt just as at home in the Mushroom Kingdom, to be sure, but there was a special heritage on the island that could never be replaced, and with so many of his brothers and sisters massacred by Nightmare last year, he could not help but be occupied with worry for the tribe's well-being.

He indolently plucked a durian from a nearby palm tree with his tongue and drew it into his mouth, swallowing it thoughtfully. Yoshi felt more or less prepared for whatever his imminent journey would bring, but he sure hoped it would not bring danger to those he loved.

* * *

"You're sure you're all right with this, then?"

Fox still couldn't quite believe his fellow pilot, Falco Lombardi, had actually volunteered for a mission that went beyond his own personal interests. They were standing inside a hangar in Mute City where three vessels were currently stationed: The Great Fox, the Falcon Flyer, and Samus's Gunship. The latter two were recent acquisitions since their predecessors had been blown up by Master Hand's minions, but they looked every bit the likeness of the ones they'd replaced. Their owners, Captain Falcon and Samus Aran, stood talking nearby, waiting for Falco to join them on their way to the southern coast.

The cheeky falcon snickered. "Don't tell me you're getting jealous, now. I called dibs on this one because that's where all the excitement's gonna be. No other reason."

"Sure," Fox said, injecting just enough sarcasm to annoy his friend. "There's one thing I still don't understand, though…why don't we just fly there on the Great Fox or in our Arwings? Why do you have to take such an old-fashioned boat?"

Falco shrugged. "Gadd and the computer guy said something about trying to make a friendly impression. I guess the last time something airborne crossed onto any of our mainlands, bullets flew. If we're really gonna gain Sony's trust, we can't just drop out of the sky with dangerous tech they've never seen before. That's what they said, anyways. I don't really care myself; it's not like there's anything better to do here or even back in Lylat."

"Fair enough." Fox put a hand on his shoulder as he turned to board the Great Fox. "It goes without saying, but be careful out there. From what I've heard, these other worlds could be as weird and dangerous as anything we've ever encountered back home."

"Tch. Can't be as weird as the people I hang around with." That was Falco's way of saying goodbye as he made for the two other space travelers. Fox chuckled to himself, shaking his head, and disappeared up the ramp as he prepared for takeoff; he couldn't keep Krystal waiting again….

Meanwhile, Falco immediately wished he hadn't walked in on Falcon and Samus's conversation—or, more accurately, argument.

"How many tournaments are you going to have to lose before you realize you're not as fast as you think you are, Falcon?" Samus, her helmet under one arm, had rolled her eyes after one of the racer's undoubtedly "humble" remarks.

Falcon clenched one fist. "Hey. Just because you got lucky with your missiles in Fourside and played dirty by throwing me into Brinstar's acid last month—"

"Yes; I would win some. You would almost win others."

"Yeah, and…" Falcon suddenly realized what he'd just agreed to. "Wait, no! I _have_ won some—"

"Sorry to break up your love fest," Falco said, not looking the least bit sorry. "But if you two are done arguing about who'll get far enough in the next tournament to lose to me, I think it's about time we blow this city of glorified Hotwheels."

Before Falcon could insert a retort about the unfair comparison between F-Zero racers and toy cars, Falco strode over to the portal Gadd had installed in the hangar and disappeared inside.

The captain glanced over at Samus only to find that she had already followed Falco through the portal, then hurried into the arch himself, resolving to continue refining his rhetorical tactics against the feisty bounty hunter during the voyage to come.

* * *

Luigi, Mr. Game & Watch, and Prince Peasley stood together on the ramparts of Beanbean Castle, the former trying to enjoy the last moments he would have with two of his best friends for quite some time. Across the grassy plains they could just make out the edge of the Chucklehuck Woods, which seemed to form a thin black boundary between emerald earth and cerulean sky.

"It's not all bad, old chap," Peasley said, his immaculate blond hair blowing in the gentle breeze. "You and your lady friend shall have each other's company like two peas in a pod."

Luigi smiled. April. "I'm not a-worried about me," he said. And for once, it was the truth. "I'm a-worried you and G.W. will disagree over who gets top a-bunk on the ship and throw each other overboard."

G.W. beeped in a way that the other two had come to assume signified laughter. "I am sure your prin-cess will not al-low an-y-thing of the sort."

Although Peasley's and G.W.'s initial animosity toward each other had long since faded after their coordinated defense in Akaneia, that had not prevented them from maintaining a friendly rivalry that was about as stable as a canoe carrying a washing machine on one end.

"We shall meet again soon," Peasley said, grinning at Luigi and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Until then…on to adventure!" He executed his trademark rapier-unsheathing, pointing it at the sky for no real reason. Luigi in turn removed his hat, while Game & Watch raised a turtle above him in obvious mockery of the prince's melodramatic gesture.

* * *

After a few months, the disgraced King Dedede had been released from imprisonment in Fourside for his desertion in battle and had been allowed to return to his position as self-proclaimed king of Dreamland. As fake as his actual control over the kingdom might have been, however, he did in fact own an impressive castle.

Stylistically, it was somewhat of a mix between the red Princess Peach's Castle and the green Beanbean Castle, with both pointed and rounded towers and buildings. The bricks and rooftops were mostly yellow, with a couple red spires here and there. The whole place was situated at the top of a disproportionate, spiraling ledge that rose above the southern ocean like a cartoonish sandcastle.

This time, however, the individuals gathered here were not preparing to meet at another point of departure, for this was the very shore from which the Nintendonian vessel would set out into the great blue unknown. Thus, King Dedede had to pretend to enjoy Kirby's company because Meta Knight was there to ensure the penguin didn't try anything mischievous that would likely involve causing harm to the pink puffball. And even if the masked Star Warrior hadn't been there, Dedede probably would have played it safe this time around seeing as he'd just gotten out of jail and had no desire to go back.

"Well, I'll be," the faux monarch declared as Meta Knight informed him of the plan. "Sounds like a bucket o' fun; I'd join you myself, of course, but my back's been outta whack ever since those Wire Frames and stuff, so…"

Meta Knight rolled his eyes. "Believe me, my king, the only help you would be on this journey would be as an inflatable lifeboat. No, I shall be the one to represent Dreamland to the Sony and Microsoft Worlds."

"Wha…" Dedede blinked uncomprehendingly. "If you're goin', then what's Kirby doin' here?"

"He will be staying here until called upon by the Smash Brothers."

"Poyo!" Kirby beamed at Dedede as if he were a giant ice cream sundae the puffball was about to devour. The voluminous penguin gulped and was about to protest when he found the tip of Meta Knight's legendary blade, Galaxia, pressed against his pudgy belly.

"You will treat him like royalty." The yellow eyes glinted behind the mask. "He is more deserving of this kingdom than you…not that that is saying much. But Kirby is the greatest of Nintendo's heroes, the bane of Nightmare, and the Smash Brothers have more than enough on their plate without having to plan your execution for attempting to harm him."

Dedede nodded frantically, afraid to move. "Don't you worry about a thing! Kirby and I are gonna have just a swell old time together, aren't we?" He desperately looked at the puffball for support.

Kirby, who as usual had the attention span of a goldfish, yawned and accidentally ripped Dedede's wooden hammer from his hand, sucking it into his mouth and spitting it a hundred feet down into the ocean below.

"Fun!"

* * *

Even after all he and Marth had been through last year, Roy still felt out of place in Akaneia at times. They all treated him like they treated Marth—as a hero—yet unlike him, Roy couldn't recall ever having done anything significant in This World before Master Hand became a threat. There was a gap of memory and logic that he normally kept subconscious just as Young Link avoided wondering why he was living at the same time as his older self and couldn't go back even when the Ocarina of Time was played.

Thus, as Roy prepared to depart from the Akaneian stronghold through the portal that would take him to the southern coast, he couldn't help but hope that the forthcoming expedition would perhaps begin to answer some of these underlying questions he'd kept suppressed until recently.

"May the Divine Dragons be with you on your quest," Princess Nyna said as a royal procession saw them through the elegant front doors of the stronghold to the portal that was positioned on one of the inner walls, where Wire Frames had once poured through just over a year ago. The city had made substantial progress recovering from last year's siege by Gharnef and Medeus, so many of the structures they passed by were made of new stone and freshly cut wood, an oasis of civilization amidst a sea of yellow sand.

"They have always been with us," Marth said as they reached the out-of-place portal embedded in the wall. "I have every confidence that the Smash Brothers will succeed, especially with Roy's help."

"Thanks." Roy smiled at the older warrior. Although he felt like whatever happened on this journey couldn't possibly be any worse than what he'd faced during the war against Master Hand, Marth's words boosted his confidence to exceed his fear of the unknown.

The two of them turned and waved to the crowd of spectating Akaneians, nodded at Princess Nyna, and walked through the portal.

* * *

As Funky steered his restored Funky Flyer full of Kongs toward Dreamland, Diddy could not help but look back at the receding jungle, wondering when he would see it again. He, Dixie, Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky had all volunteered to join the scouting party soon to depart from the Nintendo World, but Gadd had requested that DK stay behind to represent his world as one of the Smash Brothers' leaders. Funky, Candy, and Kiddy were likewise remaining in the Kongo Jungle—the first two because they had the Krystal Koconut bar to run; the latter because the others felt he was too young for such a long journey, having only just graduated from toddlerhood.

Joining them on the Flyer was Conker, one of Diddy's oldest friends from their racing days on Timber's Island. Although both he and Conker had an invested interest in learning the status of their old stomping grounds, it was understood that L.O.G.'s presence as a member of RareWare would hypothetically be more than sufficient to reestablish diplomatic relations with the inhabitants of the islands, whereas the Sony and Microsoft Worlds would need to see as many islanders supporting their peace efforts as possible. Still, it was hard for both of them knowing they probably wouldn't be able to see their fellow racers until all of this was over—even though they trusted the Smash Brothers to use wisdom when they visited the island.

"You know, this place reminds me of Pirate Lagoon," Diddy said as the orange-tinged sky reflected off the tropical beach below. The salty ocean breeze rippled through his fur—chilly, but refreshing.

"Yeah," Conker said. "Only there are no psychopathic octopi dropping gas bubbles on you."

Diddy laughed. "True that." He paused for a moment, then decided to speak his mind. "You ever think about the old days? Before the Copyright Wars. When all of us banded together to stop that idiot Wizpig from taking over the island. When Taj gave us the power to show him up twice in a row, then blasted him off into space."

Conker grinned. "All the time. I miss the days when you could fire missiles at people and lay mines on them without starting a war. It's a shame everyone seems to take violence so seriously these days."

The Kong didn't really know how to respond to that, in part because he wasn't quite sure whether the squirrel was joking or not. Finally:

"That's what this mission is all about. We're gonna right whatever wrongs that left us torn apart from our islands, and who knows? Soon we could be flying circuits around Hot Top Volcano again."

Conker made out the swirling peninsula upon which King Dedede's Castle stood. "Let's hope so, Diddy. Let's hope so."

* * *

Sonic and his four fellow Mobians sat on sand-ridden boulders in the small cove beneath Dedede's Castle as they awaiting the arrival of the rest, making sure to avoid sitting on barnacles or especially slimy algae. Shadow leaned against the cliff face with his arms folded.

"I still don't trust L.O.G. Something about him just seems…off…."

"I agree, Shadow," Knuckles said. "Believe me, I'm just as weirded out by that guy as anyone. But…I don't think something feels off about him because he's untrustworthy. I think part of it is because he's just so different from anyone else we've ever met. I mean, he's an awkward, sentient computer. Don't get me wrong; he's extremely smart—Not even Mecha Sonic's AI comes anywhere close—but he also seems almost…human. And it's that imperfectness that makes me feel like we can trust him."

Tails skipped a rock across the cove and watched as it bounced a good thirty feet out to sea. "If you ask me, I think everyone's suspicious of him just because he represents Microsoft. Which I guess is fair, given our history, but I don't get the same vibe from him that I used to get from, say, the Chief. I'm pretty sure he really does want to help; he's just as conscious as we are of all the negative feelings that've been harbored between all our worlds."

"And isn't that the whole point of all this?" Amy looked at Sonic, surprised he hadn't said anything. "If we mistrust people just because of where they're from, there's something very wrong with the world. We may have helped Nintendo solve its internal struggles, but it's high time we solve our own, and I think the first step will be preventing anything like the Copyright Wars from ever happening again. That's why we ended up here in the first place."

Sonic stood up, clearly troubled by something. "Yeah, but how exactly did that happen? Why don't we remember? Doesn't it bother you all that one day you were chilling on Mobius, and the next you were locked up in Master Hand's Fortress?"

"Of course it does." Amy put a tentative hand on Sonic's arm. "But what we're about to do…that's the only way we'll ever find out."

* * *

Banjo & Kazooie were meeting one last time in Humba Wumba's Wigwam, a beige tepee set up not too far from Dedede's Castle. With them were all the other Isle o' Hags residents: the skull-faced Mumbo Jumbo; the caricatured Indian, Humba Wumba; and the two mole brothers, Bottles with his thick goggles and checkered red vest, and Jam-Jars with his darker fur and perpetually stern expression.

"Wigwam be too muggy for Mumbo's taste," Mumbo complained. "Also, smells like rotting fish."

"Amateur shaman is one to talk," Humba said with a huff. "His hut stink like mummy's tomb."

"All right, you two, settle down." Bottles adjusted his goggles and blinked a few times. "Just remember what we've agreed. Banjo & Kazooie will represent our island to Sony and Microsoft, and the rest of us will go with the other Smash Brothers to check up on the Isle o' Hags."

"If you ask me, the discipline on that ship will be severely lacking," Jam-Jars said, his eyes fixed particularly on the bird occupying Banjo's blue backpack.

"Well, good thing no one asked you, dung face," Kazooie said. "If we ever took your opinion into account, we'd all be doomed."

Banjo sighed, covering his face with one paw. "This is gonna be a _long_ trip."

"At least we won't have Gruntilda to worry about, anyway," Bottles continued as if the others' banter had been nothing but white noise. "Things should be pretty smooth sailing if everything goes according to plan."

Kazooie casually regurgitated an egg into the steaming pink pool in the center of the animal skin enclosure; this magical pool was where Humba used to transform the bear and bird into an assortment of strange but useful forms, including a submarine, a T-Rex, and even a stick of dynamite.

"Yeah, because everything _always_ goes according to plan…said no one ever."

A short figure burst through the tent's entrance, looking anxious. "The ship's arrived," Gadd said. "It's time to go."

* * *

The final departure was actually not as extravagant as some had expected. Only the passengers of the ship and leaders of the Smash Brothers (and L.O.G., of course) were gathered at Dreamland's shore to see them off; that was why Roy and others had had to say their farewells before departing from their respective kingdoms.

It was a crisp morning with a gentle breeze, not a cloud in the sky, and a few scattered Bronto Burts (pink spheres with big eyes, fly wings, and yellow foot stubs) wandering above the shore. The environment was perfect; what startled some, however, was the nature of the vessel that had just come into sight from the direction of the Kongo Jungle.

It was big—a galleon that must have measured at least a hundred feet from prow to stern, and some forty feet from the bottom of the hull to the upper deck, the sails of course extending far past that. As it drew nearer, those watching could see a row of cannon hatches on each side of the new wooden ship. It oscillated only slightly up and down as it approached, the three square canvas sails below the bird's nest billowing in the breeze and featuring a symbol on the two smaller ones. The first was the familiar circle with the off-centered cross, the same one found on L.O.G.'s raft and in the old Smash Tournaments, shining with every color of the rainbow. The second was new, but one that Gadd had designed to represent the Nintendo World to foreigners: a peculiar three-dimensional "N," with each surface colored red, green, yellow, or blue.

But what really surprised many on the shore—particularly the Kongs—was the crew of the ship.

Kremlings. Bipedal crocodiles who had long plagued DK and his family in their never-ending efforts to conquer the jungle and subdue the Kongs. They manned the deck, some adjusting the sails, some rushing about moving various boxes and other equipment, others coiling ropes as they prepared to anchor, and one even peering out at them from the top of the bird's nest through a telescope.

And at the helm was none other than King K. Rool himself, gripping the wheel with his scaly claws and barking commands to his minions as they brought the ship to a halt about a hundred feet off shore. One burly Krusha dropped the anchor into the ocean with a splash, and soon a small fleet of rowboats were deployed, the Kremlings rowing them at an impressive rate toward the gathered Smash Brothers.

DK lumbered up to Gadd and drew within a few inches of the professor's face. "What's going on here? You said you had our ride taken care of…but I didn't know that meant hiring out my family's sworn enemies!"

"Calm yourself, Kong." The bulky figure of K. Rool stomped onto the sandy shallows, causing the Kongs to instinctively back away as he approached the group. "Your scientist friend and I have reached an agreement that I think you will find beneficial to all parties involved."

Gadd nodded. "Trust me, DK. I know you have quite the history, but I've gotten to know K. Rool a bit since our alliance against Master Hand; and yes, he did ask for a monetary incentive, but he and his men have agreed to provide us with a quality ship and crew, and I believe he will honor his truce with your family, which was part of the bargain."

Tiny leered up at the coronated crocodile. "But really, professor? You do know that he tried to sink DK Isle all on his own even before it was destroyed in the Copyright Wars, don't you?"

"Look, kid." K. Rool fixed Tiny with a rather disturbing gaze from his bulging, bloodshot eye. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm not going to this foreign world with you. I've still got a kingdom of my own to run. Only my men will be accompanying you on your little jaunt, and you'd best believe that if they have half a brain, they won't mutiny against the cornucopia of superheroes you'll have on board. I've instructed them to obey your every command."

"It's the half-a-brain thing I'm worried about," Dixie muttered to her boyfriend, Diddy.

DK balled his fists with anger, then after a moment, pounded them on the ground, sending puffs of sand into the faces of several of those standing nearby. "Fine. But if one of your lizards so much as touches one of my friends, your face is gonna answer for it with my fist."

"Indeed," K. Rool said, looking amused.

"All right," Gadd called to the group as a whole. "The crew of _The King's Krystal_ is ready to board. But before you go, I want you all to know how grateful we are for the sacrifice you're making to reunite our worlds. Uniting the Nintendo World was the first step; and I assure you that this is the next big thing. Our worlds are about to become a lot smaller, and I believe it will be for the better. I trust you all with my life, and I know you will succeed. I look forward to keeping in contact with you every day of your voyage and…well…good luck!"

There was a brief round of applause, and then L.O.G. spoke. "There is not much more for me to add. Just remember when the universe seems to combine all its forces against you, you are engaged in a cause greater than yourselves. It is through individuals such as you that the world's greatest conundrums will be solved, and the greatest games will be made. Fare thee well, sons of Smash. And as Mr. Gadd said, be sure to phone home."

After saying their final farewells (even Bowser joined Mario and Luigi in saying goodbye to Peach and Toadsworth), the voyagers boarded the rowboats with about six to each boat and were rowed the short distance to the mother ship, the swelling waves already giving them a small taste of the oceanic quest to come.

Peach and her umbrella Perry; Toadsworth; Young Link; Yoshi; Red with his six Pokéballs; Falco; Meta Knight; Samus; Captain Falcon; the Ice Climbers; Mr. Game & Watch; Prince Peasley; Banjo & Kazooie; Roy; Ness; Diddy, Dixie, Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky Kong; Conker; Sonic; Shadow; Tails; Knuckles; Amy. The 29 heroes were helped on board the main deck by the Kremlings to find another crowd of Kremlings gathered around them with expressions of curiosity, muttering to each other in hushed growls.

Once the voyagers were all on board, they turned to wave back at the Smash Brothers on the shore of Dreamland. But a question was lingering on one of their minds.

"So if K. Rool's not coming," Young Link said, looking at the Kremlings with uneasiness, "who's captaining this ship?"

A figure slid down a rope attached to the center mast and alighted onto the deck with the coordination of an acrobat. Her skin was tanned; her hair a slightly green-tinged blond; her clothes baggy; and her eyes big and cartoony and blue. She smiled at Young Link, but it was a smile that was also somehow an insult.

"That would be me, kid," she said, extending a hand with a wink. "Call me Tetra." Young Link shook it uneasily, finding his skinny arm flopping up and down at the mercy of the pirate's muscular grip.

Captain Tetra hopped onto the foredeck and addressed all of them. "What are _you_ looking at, you scallywags? Let's get this beauty out to sea where she belongs. Sail on!"


	3. Chapter 2: Full Sail

Chapter 2: Full Sail

* * *

 _ **L**_ uigi had only been to Delfino Island once himself—and that was to collect his brother, the princess, and Toadsworth after their disastrous attempt at a vacation. But being here in Pinna Park with April, he felt as if this were the only true reality he'd even known.

They laughed as they rode the bubblegum-pink rollercoaster around the tiny theme park island; as they swung from side to side on the plum sunray Ferris wheel; as they spun around the Yoshi egg merry-go-round; and as they clung for dear life on the swinging pirate ship.

They bathed in the warm late-spring sun as they ate ice cream on a bench together. Luigi's cone was snatched out of his hand by a yellow bird, but as it made off with its prize, one of the scoops slid off the cone onto the plumber's face. After April had finally regained her composure, she wiped his face off with a napkin, wringing the sticky liquid out of his mustache.

Finally, after hours of excitement, they had a moment of relative peace.

"Do you ever worry about Peach and Toadsworth?" she suddenly asked, shielding her eyes from the sun and watching two Pianta children chase each other around with bubble blowers.

"Sometimes…." Luigi sat with his hands on his knees. Even after a year of seeing each other, he still had yet to master the expected physical gestures of being in a relationship. Which, fortunately, April was fine with. "But I a-know the princess will be fine; so a-many heroes are out there with her, and she can take care of her-a-self. She had to save us a-once, after all." He paused for a moment. "How about a-Red?"

"I don't know…" April leaned on his shoulder, her eyes reflecting just a little of the pain of her brother. "He already lost Charizard in Fourside, but as hard as that was, I think he was able to come to terms with it because he understood why it happened and had all his other Pokémon to help him through it. But with Pikachu…honestly, I'm surprised he went on the mission at all."

Luigi didn't know what to say to that, so he remained silent. They just sat there for some time, exhausted from the day's activities, feeling almost as anxious being out of the action as those who were sailing into the unknown.

* * *

Many miles away, Link was at Lake Hylia, teaching Princess Zelda how to fish. He finally finished untangling the line from her latest disastrous attempt to cast it.

"It's all in the wrist," he said, placing the rod back in her hands and rewinding the line until he could attach new bait to the hook. "Now let's try again—together this time."

With one hand on Zelda's pink gloves and the other clutching the handle above, Link guided her through the movement of raising the rod back and then flicked it forward, releasing the line with his finger and allowing it to shoot across the glistening green water. It landed and sank a solid thirty feet out, appearing to be no more than an innocent strand of spider web against the bright sky with the stunning panorama of pine trees around the lake's edge and the small island with a rocky shrine to one side. The air was still, and somehow both cool and warm at the same time. Perfect.

"What next?" Zelda asked. Though she was used to fending for herself as her alter ego Sheik, the princess found her outdoor recreational skills seriously lacking. Granted, wearing her royal dress everywhere she went probably didn't help.

"Now we wait," the Hero of Time said. "Sometimes it can take a—hold on tight! Looks like we got one." A strong, persistent tug on the rod had alerted them to the catch. But it wasn't the typical challenge; in fact, the resisting force was perhaps greater than Link had ever felt.

"What the…it must be huge! I'll handle this one." Zelda gratefully let Link take complete control of the rod and watched as he engaged the creature, his arms straining from the effort, the jerks almost pulling him off his feet as he struggled to reel it in.

The line grew closer: 25 feet…then 20…then 15…then 10…and…

Suddenly the pressure vanished, which would have been good except the abruptness caused Link to actually fall backward onto the rocky shore. At the same time, a white figure spun out of the water and landed in front of them.

"Link, are you all right?" Zelda rushed to his side and helped him up, brushing off the back of his green tunic and ignoring the flirtatious, rather immature Zora who had appeared.

Princess Ruto, a humanoid fish creature with sleek white skin, webbed limbs, and a rather hammerhead-ish blue cranium, giggled with her hands on her hips.

"I can't believe you fell for that one, Link." She seemed to notice Zelda for the first time, as if she was just another part of the scenery. "Did I ruin your moment or something?"

"Forget about it," Link said, wincing from the fall. "What brings you here?"

"I dunno," she said, shifting her weight to her other foot while bending one knee. "I'm bored. Nothing exciting's happened around here since we took down that Master Hand guy. You have no idea what it's like being cooped up in that cave all the time."

"Yeah…" Link glanced at Zelda. "Well, we should probably get going. It's, uh, getting late."

"But it's not even—"

Before Ruto could finish her protest, the two Hylians were already walking back toward Hyrule Field, Link not even bothering to pack his fishing gear, carrying it all loosely in his arms. Ruto watched with contempt as Zelda walked closely beside the hero.

"Hmph," she said. "Whatever. He'll see I'm more useful than that snobbish blonde soon enough."

* * *

"Fascinating….Most fascinating indeed."

Gadd studied the dusty old map of Smash Planet that his Goomba colleague, Professor Frankly, was showing him in his small library at the northern reaches of Fourside City. The wrinkled parchment showed several faint, hand-drawn land masses, and as he turned the pages of the extremely worn tome, he saw there were additional maps that zoomed in on each island and mainland, with smudged names of cities and geographical features covering the curiously shaped continents. The rest of the book detailed a rich history of the Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft Worlds, giving particular (yet annoyingly vague) attention to the Copyright Wars that had divided them so long ago.

"So it is not only Sony and Microsoft that we must be concerned about," Frankly said, "but the lost world of Atari as well." He indicated an island in the center of the map, roughly the same distance from the three mainlands that formed a sort of triangle around it.

"And you're sure the book says nothing about what's on it?" Gadd peered closer, as if by doing so its secrets might spill out of the page into his brain.

Frankly shook his head. "So much of it is shrouded in mystery. I don't even know where this book came from; just found it on my shelf one day. But one thing is certain: The fates of all our worlds are tied together in a way none of us understand. If we are to truly uncover the mysteries of our past, then we must explore Atari in addition to the islands and other mainlands."

Gadd stroked his chin. "It's too far out of the way for our diplomatic party to visit…but I think I know just the ones to send there in the meantime."

* * *

Pit, also known as Kid Icarus, slid through the door into Gadd's laboratory farther south in the city. He had fought with the Smashers from the beginning, even saving Mario and several others from a deadly fall, yet it hadn't been until the recent resurgence of Nightmare in the form of Tabuu that he'd become a key player in This World's affairs. Though his home of Skyworld lay high above the Unclaimed Territory, it wasn't much more than an abandoned relic of the thriving haven it had once been. He couldn't remember how or why it had been abandoned—just that it had happened, leaving him, the former captain of the goddess Palutena's royal bodyguards, with nothing to guard. As such, during the past years he'd spent most of his time down below, helping the Smash Brothers make the world a better place. And now, their leader, Professor E. Gadd, had called specifically for him. What did he have in store?

Rather than entering the main chamber of the laboratory where all of Gadd's inventions whirred, bubbled, flickered, and beeped, he walked into an office space that seemed just like any other—a large rectangular desk, filing cabinets, papers and folders, several computers, and even a couple potted Piranha Plants, which seemed unusually tame for such a generally carnivorous species. Gadd stood behind his desk (he was too short to sit), awaiting Pit's arrival with one other figure already beside him.

The Rito were a race of bird people hailing from the Great Sea who were mostly human except for their beaks and winged arms. This one had dark skin, a mauve tunic, and white head feathers that met in a point. His face had a perpetually serious expression, but despite this no-nonsense attitude, he had proven a great ally during the war against Nightmare.

"Pit. Glad you could join us!" Gadd gestured for him to come to the desk. Pit did so, comfortable around the professor but feeling judged under the Rito Postman's unblinking scrutiny. He had seen the Rito before during their adventures with the Smash Brothers, but until now he'd never had to work with him up close.

"I'll get right to it. We have a special mission for you two, one that is of the upmost importance and will require a long sustained flight. Are you feeling up to the task?"

"Uh…sure," Pit said uncertainly, a bit apprehensive about what he'd just agreed to. His wing had been seriously injured during the Battle of Fourside, stricken by lightning, but it had long since recovered and he felt as ready to fly as ever.

"So with some of us on their way to Sony and more of us soon to leave to explore the islands, Professor Frankly and I have discovered another land that we believe holds one of the keys to our history, possibly something that could help us unite the three worlds. It is a place called Atari Island; we know almost nothing about it except for this map and a cryptic passage from an old history book."

He pushed the map across the desk so Pit and the Rito Postman could look at it. Beside the small island was scrawled a single line:

 _Where the end begins._

"We'd like the two of you to run a sort of reconnaissance mission; explore the island and report back what you find."

"When do we start?" It was the first thing the Rito Postman had said. Pit felt like the Rito regarded him not exactly with disdain, but with a kind of professional indifference.

"As soon as is reasonable," Gadd said. "You'll be there long before the others reach Sony, so there's no need to—"

"Right, then," the Rito Postman said, turning to Pit. "Pack your things. We leave at dawn." Without another word, he strode out of the room.

Pit looked after him, openmouthed. Finally, he looked back at Gadd, his expression giving everything away.

But Gadd just chuckled. "Don't worry, lad. He's one of the best we've got; I'm sure by the time you two get back you'll be the best of friends."

Pit nodded, but as he left he thought something very different.

 _Yeah, if the goddess Palutena sends us a miracle._

* * *

The swelling ocean. The salty air. The exhilarating breeze. The peppering sea spray.

Diddy Kong felt all of these as he stood at the very tip of the prow, taking in the glorious view before them. He hadn't felt this free since he and Dixie had set out together to rescue DK from Kaptain K. Rool, one of the crocodile's alternate aliases. And now, after his family had been not exactly lost, but somewhat displaced for longer than they could remember, he was finally going to find out how DK Isle came to its end and why the residents of the Kongo Jungle seemed to be among the rare few who remembered any of it. He could still see flashing images of it in his mind: the warships; the gunfire; the huge earth tremors….

"Diddy, Look!"

Dixie had come up behind him and was pointing out to sea. He complied, and his eye widened as he beheld a school of Blippers—round red fish wearing swim goggles—leaping out of the water like pieces of sea popcorn. Then Diddy noticed something else out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh yeah? Look at those!"

Dixie followed her companion's finger and saw a flock of Frigis—small, icy white birds that emanated frosty auras—cooing and crossing overhead; at first they appeared intrigued by _The King's Krystal,_ but they ultimately opted to press on back toward their native Dreamland rather than roost atop the masts.

"That's pretty cool," Dixie said. "That is, if you missed seeing _that._ "

Diddy turned back to the ocean and almost lost his footing at the sight of an enormous, pale gray orca whale, its fin protruding out of the water not far from the Blippers, the water clear enough to just make out its enormous body. It was Acro, yet another acquaintance of Kirby's. Clearly they were still in Nintendonian waters.

They admired Acro's tail fin slapping the water and the jet of water that blew out of his blowhole until a third voice came from behind Dixie.

"Pretty bird!" Chunky boomed, pointing across the prow at the ocean on the other side. The two chimps look behind them and subsequently allowed their jaws to drop.

It was Dyna Blade—a rainbow-winged falcon the size of a small satellite with an aqua blue jewel on its chest, its sharp black eyes looking down upon them not threateningly, but with almost tangible power. It rather reminded the Kanto natives on board of the magnificent Pokémon Ho-oh, leaving a trail of glittering sparkles in its wake. Dyna Blade flew a few circles around _The King's Krystal_ as if to demonstrate its clear superiority, then headed back toward the distant shores of Dreamland.

Dixie chittered. "All right, Chunky. You win."

* * *

 _The King's Krystal_ cut through the water at an impressive clip, propelled solely by a good wind and the expert manipulation of the sails by its captain and crew. It was a vessel that would be useful both in trade and times of war, well equipped for virtually any situation short of a tsunami. Its occupants sailed comfortably, most of them barely even noticing the rise and fall of the ocean's swells. The sails and ropes and most clothing fluttered in the guiding gusts, as if they were all falling sideways with no prospect of reaching the bottom—just a flat horizon that revealed nothing but was full of promise.

The day soon peaked with the sun directly above, and then the air slowly grew chilly as the glowing orb began its daily descent. By then, the Nintendo World was so far behind them that they were now completely surround by sea on all sides, with only Captain Tetra and Gadd's map, compass, and navigation charts to guide them. But they were, for all the world, a single insignificant speck on an endless voyage.

Not only was _The King's Krystal_ well directed, but it was also well prepared with everything the heroes could possibly need on their quest—barrels and barrels of food with something for everyone: bananas, apples, and many other fruits; Super Mushrooms; creamy soups; rejuvenating Chu Jelly; rice cakes; frosted cakes; Polar Bear jerky; black sausages; Hoo Bean chili; acorns; Honeycombs; an assortment of kabobs (courtesy of Ness's friend Poo); a few live chickens; and a number of other staples that would keep them going for several weeks, if not months.

Living quarters were not particularly spacious or comfortable, but they got the job done. Within the hull, there were three main bedrooms that provided bunks for the males, females, and the rest of the Kremlings respectively. These rooms were long and narrow and consisted of simple wooden bunks with basic mattresses, sheets, and pillows. There were washrooms branching off from each bedroom that would fit two, maybe three people at a time. The air down below was musty and full of sawdust.

Several other sections of the hull included storage rooms for food, munitions, clothing, and other supplies. There was even a small brig in case one or more of the crew became a little too violent or so inebriated with fermented fruit juice that they would be in danger of toppling off the side.

The captain's cabin, by way of contrast, was large and well furnished, as might be expected. Though Captain Tetra did not share the vanity and selfishness of its previous occupant, she had no reason not to appreciate King K. Rool's cloud-like velvet couches and king-sized bed; his plush red carpet; his well-stocked bookshelves housing thousands of pages of nautical and cartographical information; the brilliant Banana Fairy lanterns hanging from the ceiling; and the wide desk along the far wall, which bore additional books, maps, compasses, and now a small selection of Gadd's gadgets—or "Gaddgets," as the professor liked to call them, though the name had never really caught on. These included several communicators, a digital map and compass, and a few other odds and ends whose functions even she didn't know.

It had been just a few hours since their departure, and Tetra had briefly shown all the heroes around the ship before retiring to her cabin to work out some things, mainly charting their course to Sony and making some small adjustments to her normal sailing procedures to accommodate her rather colorful crew (which mostly meant giving more rations to individuals such as Chunky Kong and assigning portions to them based on their species and typical diets).

She had just put the finishing touches on her plans; Gadd's map had not included a very reliable scale, but she estimated that it would take them about two weeks to reach the Sony World, barring any unexpected delays that might arise. She felt confident they were well prepared in that respect; her main concern was the dynamics between the clashing personalities on her ship.

As if responding to her thoughts, Tetra heard the muffled clinking of metal coming from outside. She'd been planning on making a speech once everyone was settled in anyway, so she supposed now would be as good a time as any. And besides that, she admitted to herself that she was curious to see what was going on.

She stepped out of her cabin to find nearly everyone on deck, mostly on or near the upper decks at each end, witnessing a spectacle in the middle—that spectacle being a swordfight.

"Come, now, old chap. Surely you can do better!"

Prince Peasley leapt back to avoid the rapid slashes of Galaxia, Meta Knight's flame-shaped blade. The two parried back and forth, clashing sword against rapier so quickly that it was nearly impossible for the outsiders to follow.

Suddenly, Peasley jumped over the Star Warrior and landed against the side of the center mast, holding onto a rope to keep himself up. Meta Knight turned and, seeing his disadvantage, beat his leathery bat wings, pushing himself into the air so he was now level with his opponent.

They resumed their duel, with Peasley now swinging himself around the pole, jabbing from one side and then the other, Meta Knight using his wings to swoop out of the way with incredible reflexes. He returned with a slice that caught part of Peasley's tunic, making a small tear in the fabric.

Surprised but driven by Meta Knight's success, Peasley let go of the mast altogether and swung up the rope and around one of the crossbars like a living grappling hook, slid between the wooden post and the canvas sail, and came down with a kick that sent Meta Knight crashing to the ground.

A cheer rose from the crowd as Peasley stood over his opponent with his free hand on his hip, smiling triumphantly. He laughed.

"Good show, my friend. Perhaps you might have better luck next time."

To his surprise, Meta Knight laughed in return, his voice deep and ominous.

"Fool."

He swept his midnight blue Dimensional Cape around himself and was suddenly nowhere to be found. Nowhere, that is, except directly behind the stunned Beanish prince. Meta Knight kicked Peasley to the ground face-first and stood on his back with Galaxia prodding the hero's golden hair.

Another round of applause broke out, louder than the last. Meta Knight stepped off and offered Peasley a hand, pulling him to his feet. They shook hands, inclining their heads to each other in respect, though Peasley's expression betrayed his injured pride.

"All right, girls!" Tetra's naturally condescending voice commanded everyone's attention almost instantly. "If you're done braiding each other's hair, let me just establish a few ground rules and expectations during your stay on the _Krystal."_ She hopped onto the poop deck above her cabin and faced them all, the wind blowing through her short hair with a peculiar spiraling curve on top.

Most of the crew stayed attentive out of respect and a little fear of what their captain might do if they didn't, although moods ranged from excitement (such as Conker) to curiosity (Young Link) to anxiety (Chunky Kong) to somberness (Red) to near boredom (Shadow). Regardless of how each of them felt, however, no one interrupted her speech.

"First off—we're all on the same team here. I don't mind the occasional friendly joust." She looked pointedly at Peasley and Meta Knight. "But let me just say now that if any kind of real fight ever breaks out on my ship, you can bet your boots that both parties involved'll be taking a dip in the ocean before you can say 'walk the plank.' Do I make myself clear?"

Nodding. No words.

"Good. Second—There'll be no tolerance for laziness, thievery, mutiny, or anything of the like. My first mate and quartermaster, Niko, has a couple words to say on the subject." She nodded to someplace in the midst of the crowd. Then a very short figure—even shorter than Young Link—burst out and climbed up to where Tetra stood. He looked every bit the part of a pirate with his gold earring, blue head scarf, red-and-white striped shirt, skull-buckled belt, and short dagger sheathed on his hip. Yet his size, his few pathetic whiskers, and his cartoonish buck tooth detracted somewhat from his disproportionate confidence.

"Listen up, you mongrels," he squeaked, folding his arms and evidently relishing his power in a way that suggested it wasn't something he was used to possessing. "I've got my eye on everything and everyone on this ship. I know our inventory down to the last grain of rice, so don't even think about trying to slip extra rations or steal from our treasure hold. Show up for lookout duty when you're supposed to; attend to your chores like sailors; in a word, do your part to earn your place on this ship and we should get along just fine." He nodded at Tetra and made a point of staying on the poop deck where he could enjoy looking down on people for a change.

"Now that all that administrative rubbish is out of the way," Tetra continued, "just a little about myself. I'm from the Great Sea, a long ways from here past the ocean north of the Nintendo World. I've seen some gnarly hurricanes and survived any number of wild sea critters in my time. I know the ocean, and I know ships. Your professor came a long way to hire me out for this little expedition of yours, and I'm hoping to see some things even I've never come across. Even if you're new to sailing, I want each of you to learn to love what we do. Trust me, it'll go a lot faster, and by the time this is all over, who knows? You might just make half-decent sailors. Your homes are behind you, but the whole world's before us. Embrace the unexpected. I've never seen these Sony or Microsoft places, but I'll bet it'll be a heck of a lot different from anything you all are used to. And that's the beauty of the sea: Discovery. Freedom. Adventure. Now let us claim the thrills that are the adventurer's right!"

Her morale-boosting tactic worked extremely well. Heroes and Kremlings alike were shouting, pumping their fists, tossing hats and other random objects into the air. Lanky Kong pushed off the ground and grabbed onto the lower crossbeam, forming a ring with his arms and swinging back and forth like an orange Hula-Hoop.

Tetra smirked and jumped down to the level with her cabin door, turning and disappearing inside.

* * *

The sun began to set just a couple hours later on that first day at sea. Already, most on board were becoming if not comfortable with, at least accustomed to their new lifestyle. Many had already retired for the evening, eager to get off to a well-rested start of their journey. But a few found sleep a bit more difficult.

Red leaned over the back of the boat, all six of his Pokémon still attached to his belt. He hadn't called any of them out since they'd embarked—not even two of his closest friends, Jigglypuff and Pichu.

Or rather, the newly evolved Pikachu. Red refused to admit it, but the fact was that he didn't want to look at any Pokémon right now—especially the one who had adopted the same species as his first, now-deceased companion. It wasn't Pichu's fault, of course; he'd been so angered by Pikachu's death that even without a Thunderstone, his cells had catalyzed their own evolution and transformed him into a Pikachu—something he'd thought impossible up until this point. Clearly, even after all he'd experienced, after become the Pokémon League Champion and defeating Team Rocket several times over, he still understood almost nothing about the world of Pokémon.

The horizon was tinged orange and pink as it began to swallow the celestial eye of the sun. His hat was off, of course, his hair rippling in the evening breeze. His skin was covered in goosebumps, but he didn't care. He couldn't tell whether the wetness on his face was due to the sea spray or the freshly flowing tears.

"Red."

He felt a presence approach from behind, but didn't turn around to see who it was.

Young Link moved up next to Red hesitantly, looking out in the same direction.

"You told me once that when you lose someone close to you, you don't remember everything about them, but you do remember how you felt when they were gone. It's as if a part of your world has abandoned you forever and there's nothing you can do about it."

Silence. But Red did recall their conversation so long ago, back in the Akaneian Desert after the siege on the capital. It seemed such a distant memory, almost a dream.

"I still think about Navi sometimes…I replay those last moments in my head over and over again, when I was frozen by Gharnef's magic and she sped off to save Princess Nyna…and I keep trying to figure out what I could've done differently to save her life. But the truth is, there's nothing I, Luigi, or Gotoh could've done."

Another long moment passed. A few twinkling stars had begun to sparkle in the indigo heavens.

"I think I know why this is so hard for you…It's not because he's gone, or because you think it's your fault." He looked over at Red. "It's because you think he died for nothing."

Red remained rigid, swallowing painfully even though he wasn't ill. "Well…he did."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Young Link said, and then left him alone.

* * *

Toadsworth occupied the opposite end of the ship, balancing on his cane as he looked over the prow into the darkening sky. But he wasn't up here on account of himself; he was here for an old friend who needed some air, but wouldn't have had much success trying to come up on his own.

Perry the umbrella—Peach's partner in rescuing Mario and Luigi from Bowser once upon a time—sighed from above the old Toad's head, safe from being blown off the ship because of the royal advisor's firm grip on his handle.

"D'you think I'll ever find my grandpa?"

Like many Nintendonians, Perry had pieces of his memory that just didn't seem to fit together properly. During his travels with the princess, he'd begun to recover small glimpses of his past, flashes of truth: being found on the side of a mountain road by an old man…the magician and his minion who transformed him into an umbrella and took him away…lying on another path until he was found by a merchant…the kind old Toad who had taken him to Peach's Castle…

The only people in his life he clearly remembered, Perry realized, were that Toad—Toadsworth—and Princess Peach. All the other figures and faces were but blurs and silhouettes, shrouded shapes that could have been old black and white photographs that had faded with time.

Toadsworth sighed. "Perhaps you wouldn't be so restless if you hadn't slept through the whole morning of our departure, old bean. But yes…I can feel it in my bones; someday soon, Perry, I believe your mystery will be unfurled just as others have been ever since Master Hand's first Smash Tournament." He yawned; it had been a long day. "But until then, lad, you have me. And you have the princess. And we're as much your family as any you might have left behind. Am I right?"

Perry smiled and relaxed; Toadsworth's words had been just what he'd needed to hear. "Yeah, of course. I think I can sense it, too; this trip will answer some questions we'd never be able to solve back in the Nintendo World. There's so much good that can come out of it, and I'm excited to see where it takes us!"

"That's the spirit…" Toadsworth had been listening, but he'd begun to doze off, still standing with Perry in one hand and his cane in the other. But Perry didn't mind. He knew the elderly Toad would awaken in a few minutes once the cold got to him. And besides, the view was beautiful and glorious to behold.

* * *

"Can't sleep?"

Up in the crow's nest, Captain Falcon thought he'd climbed sneakily up the ladder and caught the helmetless Samus off guard. But once again, despite his reputation for speed, the female bounty hunter was a step ahead of him.

"You breathe really loud," she said, turning to face him and leaning against the edge of the small circular platform. "And you should hope I can't sleep, considering I'm on night watch. How did you know I'd be up here, anyway?"

"Oh. Right." Falcon pretended he hadn't accidentally caught a glimpse of the shift schedule in the captain's cabin while Tetra had been busy inspecting the cannons. "I dunno, I just needed some air…and I guess our running into each other was a complete coincidence."

Samus raised an eyebrow. "Sure. Well, are you here to lose another argument?"

Despite himself, Falcon couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. He became a little tenser. "No! Why would I—?" He caught himself before his temper went off the deep end. Which, knowing Samus, could potentially be taken literally. "Actually, I just wanted to talk. I mean, we've gotten to know each other a little better since the Smash Tournaments, haven't we? But I still don't feel like I _really_ know you; you're always shielded behind your armor—"

"My power suit is the reason I'm alive," she interjected.  
"Yeah. That armor, too. But it just dawned on me that we've beaten each other up, we've argued and fought and faced life-threatening villains together, but I don't even know where you come from."

Samus said nothing for a while, appearing perplexed by Falcon's expectant look. "Was that a question?"

Falcon nodded, not trusting his mouth to do anything but worsen his predicament.

"Ok. Well, there's not much to tell. I was born on the Earth colony K-2L, a system several light-years from here. When I was a child, a gang of Space Pirates led by the monster Ridley destroyed my home and killed my parents. The only reason I survived was because the Chozo took me away during the attack and brought me to their planet, Zebes. I was raised there and was eventually hired by the Federation as a bounty hunter."

Falcon wasn't sure what to say to that. In spite of Samus's attempt to make her story sound short and insignificant, it was quite a tale.

"Truth is," he said, "I have even less to tell. My first memory is working as a cop for my star cluster's Federation with Samurai Goroh. We both ended up leaving the force and becoming bounty hunters ourselves, though Goroh hates me because of all the times I've left him in the dust on the racetrack. I've gone up against Goroh's gang of bandits, psychopathic supervillains, even clones of myself…but with all that, I've never had a family that I can remember. Always on my own."

Neither said anything for several minutes. Like the others who were still awake, they contented themselves watching the panorama of glitter speckle the sky.

"All right," Falcon said finally, turning to the edge. "I'll leave you to your night watching. Goodnight." He disappeared down the ladder.

Samus remained silent, but instead of watching the sea like she was supposed to, she found herself staring at the spot where Captain Falcon had climbed down. For some reason, something he'd said was stuck in her mind.

 _Always shielded behind your armor…_

It was true. Hers had always been a private life; a solitary life. She had few if any friends who weren't dead. It had always been her instinct to shut others out, to retreat into her shell. But tonight, for the first time, she had shared the story of her life. Tonight, she had opened herself to someone without ever meaning to, for no reason she could conceive of.

Tonight, her armor had begun to crack.

* * *

"Link…wake up! Are you all right?"

Young Link groaned and rolled over in his bunk. There were no windows in their bedroom, but he assumed it was still dark outside considering how tired he was.

Roy stared at his friend's sleeping figure, nonplussed. The Kokiri boy had slept through most of the morning; Roy had vouched for him with Tetra, claiming he must be ill, but now he feared something much worse might have happened. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something about the color and texture of Young Link's green cap and fair hair—which was all that could be seen above the sheet pulled over his face—that seemed off. He shrugged.

"Lunch will be served soon. Niko doesn't take kindly to latecomers, so if you don't want to wait another five hours to eat, you might want to come up." He turned and ascended back up to the main deck.

"Fine…I'm coming…"

Young Link threw his sheets off and sat up, yawning, stretching, and rubbing his eyes. He dragged himself into the washroom, flicked on the light, and washed his face, blinking in front of the mirror as he adjusted to the brightness.

"AGH!"

Was this some kind of bizarre nightmare? Young Link looked at his own reflection, which moved and acted as he did, but the figure in the glass wasn't him…was it?

His body had become—there was no other word for it— _cartoonish._ His head had been stretched out so that it was disproportionately large in comparison to the rest of his body, and his eyes had been blown up to fill almost half his face. His hair was bright blond, and his tunic a jarring lime green. But as he moved his arms experimentally and felt his face, he realized there could be no mistake.

This was him.

* * *

Above, another form of entertainment for the crew was occupying the main deck.

Sonic started out across the wooden surface, the coconut tucked under his arm like a football. He laughed as his team came at their opponents; they were far too fast for the Kongs. Surely this matchup had been a mistake.

As he finished this thought, however, he looked down and found the coconut was gone. "What the—?"

"Wa-hoo!" Lanky Kong retracted his ridiculously elastic arm, the coconut in tow. He swung his arm like a sling and flung the fruit into the air just as Knuckles crashed into him.

"Wheee!" Dixie Kong, floating with her propeller-like ponytails, caught the coconut midflight, carrying it over Amy's head and depositing it in the reliable care of her cousin Chunky. The eight-foot gorilla plowed past Shadow and Tails, casting them aside like ragdolls, and slammed the coconut onto the stairs leading to the next deck, the shell splitting and splattering milk all over the wood.

The Kongs cheered, Chunky waving his hands in the air, Tiny whooping with a skip and a hop, and Diddy clapping his hands and bouncing from foot to foot with pleasure.

"Nicely done, Chunky!" Diddy said as the two teams returned to their respective sides and a Kremling deposited another coconut in the hands of Sonic, who was still staring at the monkeys in disbelief.

"No more messing around, Sonic," Shadow muttered. "I will not be humiliated by a quintet of baboons."

Sonic nodded to his teammates to his left and right. "All right. Here we go!"

They set out once again. This time, Sonic approached the middle warily, not allowing Lanky's arms out of his sight. He waited for the Kongs to draw as near as possible, then…

"Now!"

Knuckles rolled around the edge of the deck, not attracting much attention since he didn't have the coconut. Before Tiny could warn them, he sped underneath Chunky and lifted him clear off the ground, swinging him like a bludgeon at the other Kongs, flooring Dixie and sending the rest into a panic.

Meanwhile, Sonic tossed the coconut toward Amy, who drew out her red hammer and struck it like a baseball in the direction of their goal. Tails had already been floating above the chaos caused by Knuckles and turned to catch the coconut.

But to his surprise, Tiny's golden ponytails and blue suspenders obscured his vision; the small chimp cheered as she intercepted the pass, landing on a crossbeam and jumping off of it toward the opposite end.

"Oh, no you don't!"

Sonic bounced off his spontaneously produced springboard and grabbed onto the coconut, taking both him and Tiny higher up the mast. They grappled with each other as their ascent came to a halt, then began to descend.

Finally, Sonic wrenched the coconut free of Tiny's grip and yelled in triumph as he directed his fall at their goal. Everyone else seemed occupied with each other; the point would be theirs.

Or at least it would have been, had not a jetpack-propelled Diddy cut him off just a couple feet from the deck, snatching the coconut and shoving him into the mast with a painful thud as the chimp rocketed past the edge of the ship and came back around to score on the Mobians' deserted side of the playing field.

A single figure stood in his path: Shadow. But surely Diddy's momentum would crash through the hedgehog like an Angry Bird through a Pig Castle (not that he knew what that was).

"Chaos… _CONTROL!_ "

A red haze enveloped the main deck. Everyone, including Diddy, was suddenly moving in slow motion—except for Shadow. The self-proclaimed Ultimate Life Form casually stepped over to the double-barrel jetpack and claimed his prize from Diddy's arms. He disappeared in a flash and teleported behind the rest of the Kongs, dropping the coconut onto the stairs like a discarded soda can. Then, the haze dissipated and the others' motion returned to normal. It took them a second to realize what had happened.

"Are you kidding me? Time control and teleporting?" Tiny stamped her foot, her arms folded. "That's cheating!"

Shadow smirked. "And jetpacks aren't?"

What would have likely turned into a heated quarrel was interrupted by Niko, who announced that lunch was being served. They dispersed among the rest of the crew toward the deck in front of the captain's cabin, where Kremlings were dishing out food according to individual needs.

"Where's Link?" Tetra asked Roy, slurping a bowl of soup which she held with both hands—no utensils necessary.

Roy was about to explain that he was still in bed when the person of interest climbed up from below deck and peered out at the scattered voyagers like a newly hatched chick beholding the world from its egg for the first time.

Everyone within a twenty foot radius stopped whatever they were doing and stared at the boy who had just come on deck. He tried to ignore them as he pushed through to where Roy and Tetra stood, anxious for answers. For he who had once been Young Link…was now _Toon Link_.

"Link?" Roy couldn't help but stare with the rest. "What happened to you?"

Toon Link said nothing, for he had no answer. Right now, he was just trying to take everything in. Physically, he felt the same; it was the psychological bit that had thrown him for a loop. As he looked more closely at Tetra and then Niko, he realized at least one thing that seemed to make sense: Those two had the same cartoonish appearance that he now did. But what he didn't understand was why disparate segments of memory were flooding through his brain, overloading his mind with people, places, and objects he'd surely never seen before.

Yet he knew there was something distinctly familiar about both Tetra and Niko; something familiar about the Great Sea and the Rito tribe and dragon Valoo who had helped them defeat the Wire Frame armies last year; an entire life that seemed to have grafted itself, at least in part, onto his psyche. A life whose history yet remained just out of his grasp, but was close enough to sense.

"Tetra…" He grappled for words. "Have we…met before?"

For a fleeting moment, something flashed behind Tetra's eyes—a whisper of recognition that surpassed her own understanding. Then it was gone, buried beneath her hardened skepticism. "You look familiar, kid…but I've run into lots of blond wannabe pirates in my day. Nope, I've never seen you until yesterday. Niko!" The dwarfish first mate shuffled over, looking Toon Link over with equal confusion. "Get the kid something to eat. Something about this ocean's had a weird effect on him; it could be that it's playing mind tricks on us. Either way, he looks about as well nourished as an emaciated ReDead."

She watched with some concern as Toon Link followed Niko into her quarters to fetch a jar of rejuvenating Blue Chu Jelly. Roy looked equally worried.

"Is he going to be all right?"

Tetra looked at the Smasher. "He's really no worse off than the rest of us. We'll all be fine…if we can keep our heads out here."

* * *

Three more days passed at sea on _The King's Krystal_ without incident. The passengers were becoming more comfortable not only with each other as heroes, but many were even warming up to the Kremlings, who after all had no reason to come to blows with anyone (except the Kongs, who avoided them whenever possible—which was probably for the best).

The Nintendonian sea creatures became less frequent and soon stopped appearing altogether as the voyagers continued to distance themselves from their home world. These were strange tides they were sailing, ones that had perhaps remained untraveled since the Copyright Wars.

The daily routines kept most occupied and sane during their interminable drift: sleep; meals; chores; training from Tetra and Niko about the art of sailing; socializing, usually among familiar groups, but occasionally crossing comfort zones and getting to know strangers or near strangers; games and friendly fights and storytelling and simply enjoying the ride.

On the evening of the fourth night, Tetra sat at her table to make her daily call back to the Nintendo mainland. She picked up her communicator, which resembled a handheld gaming system that only Ness might have recognized, and pressed a button, somehow making a call from the middle of the ocean using Professor E. Gadd's ingenious technology. After a few seconds, the backlit screen displayed the goofy face of the professor, looking as eager to hear from the voyagers as ever.

"Captain, good evening! How goes it on the big blue?"

Tetra yawned, resting her head on one hand with her elbow on the table. "Not too shabby, professor. Weather's been phenomenal. Our supplies are in good shape. Everyone seems to be more or less getting along, though a few who've never sailed before are getting a little seasick, like that psychic boy, Ness, and the two Eskimos. The red bird living inside Banjo's backpack—Kazooie, isn't it?—well, she got into quite the argument with Conker…something about who had the better weapons…and it was all we could do to keep her from spitting grenades out of her snappy beak."

Gadd chuckled. "Why am I not surprised? And Red and Link…how are they doing?"

Something briefly flashed in Tetra's eyes. "Link's had a real tough time adapting to his new…er…look, but I think he's getting over it. Red's a whole other story. He still hasn't let any of his Pokémon out yet. It's like he's afraid he's going to let that singing puffball out and get bitten by her. I guess it's understandable, considering what he's been through."

Gadd nodded. "Very good, then. You have been doing an exceptional job, captain. I am fully confident that you and your crew will reach Sony in one piece and succeed in everything you've set out to accomplish. We're getting close to sending our second expedition to the intermediary islands ourselves, and you've certainly set a high bar for us to follow. Do keep me informed on anything out of the ordinary, won't you?"

"Of course, professor. Good night."

"And a good night to you as well."

Tetra shut off the communicator, climbed into her bed, and grumbled at the Banana Fairies to extinguish their lights. She fell asleep almost immediately, the ship creaking like a crib.


	4. Chapter 3: Mysteries of the Deep

Chapter 3: Mysteries of the Deep

* * *

 _ **P**_ it and the Rito Postman took off from the top of King Dedede's peninsula with no more than a pouch of supplies each, catching an updraft off the cliff side and rising into the low clouds.

It was a perfect morning for flying. The air over the ocean was cool and a bit moist, but that was to be expected. They even had current of wind helping them along in almost exactly the direction they needed to go, which meant they would need very little correction as they went on.

Pit glanced back at the receding coast. He wondered when he would see it again, but at the same time could not help but be excited for the adventure ahead. Despite the fairly reliable map and directions they'd been provided, he still felt like they were breaching uncharted territory in a way. He tore his eyes away from the Nintendo World and focused back on the southern seas, his traveling companion soaring silently at his side.

"You must focus," the Rito Postman called over the roar of the wind through their ears. "We cannot afford to get off track; otherwise we may miss our target, exhaust ourselves, and die at sea."

"Gotcha," Pit said, silently wishing the Rito wouldn't be so negative. There was a small part of him that did fear what would happen if they were unable to find the island, but his fears were tempered by the professor's assurance that there would be many small pirate outposts and tiny islands along their way for them to rest on. Also, they were going so much faster than _The King's Krystal_ that even though they were traveling about half the distance to the Sony World, they would require only one night's rest before reaching their destination.

Yet the Rito Postman was clearly the one in charge here—or at least he acted like it, carrying the all-important compass and just expecting Pit to follow his lead without question. This awkward dynamic left the angel with mixed feelings of respect and resentment toward the birdman.

They flew just low enough so their wings flirted with the underside of the clouds and they had a clear view of the seascape below. Minutes and then hours passed, but both heroes were quite accustomed to their art so that the continuous flight did not bother them; in fact, with the wind still on their side, not too much effort was required on their part except for the occasional flapping of wings and slight correctional tilts.

Several times, Pit attempted to initiate conversation with his companion, but the Rito either didn't hear him over the wind or just ignored him entirely. Pit had a sneaking suspicion it was the latter. He hadn't even given Pit his name.

Half the day came and went without incident. Pit didn't see much breaking the pattern of rippling blue waves save for a few Dreamland-native creatures and small clusters of driftwood here and there. He wondered where the wood came from, and then promptly hoped he wouldn't have to find out.

After the sun had reached its zenith and was already well on its way in its descent toward the western horizon, he spotted a dark speck in the distant water ahead.

"Hey!" This time he flew right beside the Rito Postman so he would have no excuse for ignoring him. "I think we've found an island. We should stop and rest."

Pit half expected the stern Smash Brother to reject his proposal and berate him for his foolishness, but to his surprise, the Rito Postman consented.

"I agree…but let me go first. We must approach with caution."

That was the last straw for Pit. He was tired of being treated like a child: ignored, looked down upon, and now denied his chance to explore the first interesting thing since they'd left that morning. He decided to give the Rito a taste of his own medicine and ignored _him_ , curving his feathery wings into a steep slope and accelerating down toward the speck.

"Pit! Stop!" The Rito Postman followed behind, but the young resident of Skyworld was too quick for him to catch up. Pit yelled with delight as the thrill of flight overtook him and he folded back his wings, plunging headfirst toward the island.

Except it wasn't an island. And that became evident when a loud boom was followed by a large, heavy object speeding inches away from Pit's head. He gasped. It was a cannonball.

He saw now that they had come upon a piratic lookout platform. It consisted of a tall wooden post with a ladder that ascended from the water to a circular platform some forty feet above. It was ringed by a short fence and topped by a slanted roof with two giant white skulls protruding from each side. But most alarming of all were the two cannons fixed to the platform's underside, both of which were aimed at him. There were a few figures and a number of objects on the platform as well, but Pit was too concerned with the artillery weapon that had almost blasted him out of the sky to pay them much attention.

Two more booms echoed from the outpost. Pit just managed to avoid them by abruptly spreading out his wings and catching the wind, slowing his fall and allowing the projectiles to shoot beneath him. He decided the best course of action would be to fly directly above the platform where the cannons couldn't reach. It appeared to work, so he spiraled down and landed on the slanted roof, panting heavily.

The cannon fire stopped, but that was soon explained when a trio of growling Bokoblins clambered onto the roof from different edges. They were skinny pig creatures clothed in rags with pointed ears; horns; unhinged jaws with sharp, jutting teeth; and armed with curved swords and wooden shields. Each pirate's scaly, rotting skin was pale gray, algae green, and sickly pink respectively.

"Oh yeah?" Pit pulled out his Sacred Bow and broke it apart into two short blades. "Come and get some!"

And they did indeed come and get some. The Bokoblins all snarled and charged at once, their sword arms raised as if they were about to butcher a cow.

Pit hopped forward and clashed blades with the gray one. He used one part of the bow to hold back the enemy's weapon and the other to slash its hand, forcing it to relinquish its grip. Now defenseless, the Bokoblin could do nothing as Pit lunged forward and sank his blade into its chest, kicking it off the roof and down into the ocean below.

The other two eagerly brought down their swords toward the angel's back, but he had been expecting it. He backflipped over both creatures, slicing their heads mid-jump, then stabbed both of them for good measure as they began to turn around.

"Piece of cake!" Pit laughed as he reconnected his bow and slung it over his back. He failed to notice, however, the hulking Moblin creeping up behind him, its powerful, pudgy pig body preparing to run its thick spear through the intruder's unsuspecting flesh.

But it, in turn, could not have anticipated the Rito Postman's talons, which subsequently dug into its eyes, blinding it and causing it to squeal in agony as it hobbled and followed its fellow pirates into the salty depths.

Pit heard the snort and splash and turned to find his companion perched before him, frowning with his arms folded. The boy grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry about that."

"'Sorry'? You almost got yourself killed!" The Rito sighed and hopped down onto the platform to inspect the various barrels and pots stored around the pole. Pit followed suit. "I do not mean to come across as…well…cross. I am not here to parent you, Pit, but I did promise the professor to bring you home safely once we've accomplished our mission. If we are going to do this, I see now that we must establish ourselves on equal footing."

Pit rifled through a few pots and, to his delight, found a supply of jerky, biscuits, and Chu Jelly. Still, he felt humbled by the turn in their conversation. "You're right. I was reckless. From now on, I'll listen to your counsel."

But the Rito Postman shook his head as he inspected the extra clothing and blankets contained in a few of the barrels. "From now on, we counsel together. If I have learned anything today, it is that alone, we are weak; but together, we are strong. I had been so focused on our objective that I'd forgotten why the Smash Brothers were formed in the first place: to face threats as a united body we could never overcome alone. In a way, by reaching out to Atari and the other worlds, we are engaged in an even greater work: to expand that circle of brotherhood across our entire planet."

"Wow!" Pit knelt down in front of a small treasure chest he'd just flipped open, finding the lid surprisingly unlocked. It was filled with gold coins and jewels and pearls. "I wish we had room for all this stuff…"

"Come," the Rito Postman said as he took some of the food and sat on a crate. "We must eat and rest. Tomorrow will be an important day—perhaps the most important since the truce that ended the Copyright Wars."

Pit turned reluctantly from the treasure and joined him, chewing on some of the jerky and maintaining a pensive silence as the last light of the day drained out. It was chilly, but the platform provided more than enough to keep them comfortable through the night.

At one point, as the sky darkened, Pit could have sworn he spotted a strange, translucent green ship sailing by the outpost at least a mile away. It behaved like any other boat for the most part, except it seemed to give off an eerie luminescence, and what was more, its sails did not appear to move at all in spite of the wind. It came within half a mile of the platform, but then continued on its way like a specter through the darkness.

 _A ghost ship?_ Pit wondered.

Finally, the sun had set, and Pit yawned and lay down to sleep, the supernatural sighting already forgotten. "Goodnight, then…um…Mr. Postman sir."

Another moment of quiet passed before a response came.

"Quill. My name is Quill. Sleep well, my friend."

* * *

King Dedede's Castle suited Kirby very well during the first few days after the departure of _The King's Krystal_. The same could not be said, however, for his host.

It was a mark of how truly terrified the king was of Meta Knight's threat that he did not, even once, attempt to eradicate the pink parasite plaguing his peninsular paradise. It was not that Kirby deliberately tried to cause trouble, but he was the equivalent of an undisciplined toddler in possession of a toy black hole that he did not understand. The only things he did understand were hunger and fun. Usually in that order.

That first day, the entire castle was almost completely bereft of food before sundown. Most of the resident Cappies of Cappytown, although generally friendly toward Kirby, watched carefully over their foodstuffs for fear of an artificial famine. Kirby, meanwhile, wandered around the castle halls, inhaling everything in his path, including a few unfortunate Waddle Dee stragglers (though he later spat them out). With all this chaos, Dedede really couldn't do anything; Meta Knight had specifically mandated that the Star Warrior stay in the castle itself, and Dedede's negotiation skills with Kirby had proven rather dubious in the past.

Then the dreaded moment came: The childlike puffball skipped cheerfully into the throne room, where Dedede was making a woeful attempt to hide behind his golden throne.

"Hi!" Kirby said.

Dedede screamed as Kirby proceeded to suck up virtually everything in the room—edible or otherwise. Every flickering candle, every platter, every morsel of Dedede's dinner, every piece of furniture that wasn't fixed to the floor was gone in a matter of seconds. Kirby burped.

Dedede realized he had nowhere left to go; he mustered up what little courage he had left and stepped out from behind the throne.

"All right, ya munchin' menace; you've literally eaten everything in mah house." He made a point of not mentioning the large rooms filled with food storage he'd accumulated in the dungeon vaults in anticipation of Kirby's stay. "What more do you want?"

By the time he finished his question, however, Kirby was slumped over on the marble floor, fast asleep, his slow breaths giving no indication of the dangerous connoisseur behind the cuteness.

But that was just the beginning. The next day, Dedede decided he needed some time away from the castle, so he had a squad of Waddle Dees carry him to his private golf course a little further inland. The grassy green slopes made for the perfect vacation from that tiny terror.

"FOOOOORE!"

He swung his club in a perfect arch toward the ball and anticipated the satisfying pop as he sent it across the slopes in what he was confident would be a Birdie—maybe even an Eagle.

But no such sound came. In fact, upon inspecting his hands, Dedede realized he didn't even have his club. The ball sat at his feet expectantly, but in vain.

"What the…"

His eyes followed the subsequent slurping sound to behold Kirby standing close behind him, the toe of Dedede's club disappearing into the Star Warrior's mouth.

Kirby waved his stubby arms with joy. "Yum!"

"How did you…?" Dedede sighed. "Ah, whatever. Get me another club, boys!"

He immediately wished he hadn't asked when two dismayed Waddle Dees waddled over with an empty golf bag.

On another occasion, Dedede went all the way to the Green Greens; the forest was far enough away that surely even Kirby wouldn't follow him without being rewarded with something to swallow.

He found a nice thick tree in a serene clearing, picked a couple juicy red apples, and leaned against the trunk, allowing himself to relax. He knew he was safe this time because nothing sucked the fruit out of his hand as he took a bite. He savored the tart morsel in his mouth, chewing slowly and turning it over with his tongue.

Unfortunately, it was too good to be true.

"Poyo!"

"Huh?"

Dedede wondered if the voice had just been in his head, for he could see no pink in any direction. Then he looked up and saw Kirby's plushy mass digging into the branches, consuming as many apples as he could break loose.

The tree in question, known as Whispy Woods, did not like that.

Suddenly, the entire tree began shaking and rumbling, dislodging scores of apples onto the unlucky figure below. Dedede had no time to cry out before he was buried up to his head in apples. Kirby floated down and bounced off the king's head like the cherry on top and wandered off into the woods in search of less violent food.

It took Dedede the better part of an hour to dislodge himself from the pile of apples and escape Whispy Wood's flailing branches and roots and the gusts blown from its hollow mouth. By the time he got back to Cappytown, he looked like he'd half-mutated into a tree himself.

Then there was the time on the beach. Dedede actually had Kirby locked in the castle to ensure his personal peace and quiet which he was determined to enjoy.

He reclined in his beach chair, snoozing behind his shades and sipping a margarita with a little lemon slice and umbrella. Two Waddle Dees stood on each side of him, fanning him with palm leaves as Dedede's skin absorbed rich vitamin D from the hot sun.

"Maybe havin' Kirby here ain't so bad after all," he said to no one in particular—mainly himself. "At least now I know exactly where that voracious varmint is, and this time there ain't nothin' he can do to disturb my—"

As if on cue, a deep bass began bumping from the direction of the castle, causing Dedede's chair and drink to vibrate. The bass was soon accompanied by a jazzy chorus of instruments that blared from within the castle like a show in a football stadium.

"What in tarnation…?" Dedede was afraid to find out, but his mixed curiosity and fear got the better of him, and he turned his fat neck just in time to see most of the windows shatter at the same time, allowing the music to blast even louder. Mike Kirby hopped out one of the windows, clad in red headphones and holding a microphone. He belted out the chorus of an unintelligible song, his voice reaching such a high pitch and decibel level that all Cappies, Waddle Dees, and anyone else within half a mile had to plug their ears to protect their eardrums from being blasted apart. Even then, those who were too close were knocked out by the noise.

"Sire!" A cyclopean Waddle Doo hobbled down from the castle across the beach toward the king. "We locked Kirby in his room just like you asked…but it appears he somehow inhaled a Walky and…well…" He looked at the source of the deafening ruckus, letting the situation speak for itself.

"I don't care how it happened, you idiot…make it stop!" Dedede said this as if the Waddle Doo had the power to do so.

And as if that hadn't been enough, Kirby's "music" not only disturbed everyone aboveground, but belowground as well. All around the beach, scores of Kanies—red crabs with long-reaching claws—burrowed from their slumber in the sand, thoroughly irritated. They decided to take out their annoyance on the closest living thing: the fat penguin sitting on their beach.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" Dedede hopped like a fire walker as he struggled desperately to run back up the beach after the Waddle Doo, covering his ears all the while. Finally, he escaped the angry field of pincers onto the grass and glared up at the top of the castle, where Kirby was still singing like a pop star.

"You'd betta keep savin' the world, kid, because you're one downright expensive investment…."

* * *

A couple miles west of Dedede's Castle, two other Smash Brother outposts had been set up. The coast remained about as level as the gentle slopes around Cappytown, although farther west it became more humid, almost tropical as it neared the border of the Kongo Jungle. Past the beach, the grass grew longer and thicker; palm trees abounded, laden with coconuts and bananas; Birdons, small pink birds with pilot goggles who somewhat resembled Dyna Blade, twittered and flittered between trees.

It was on the edge of this heady region of Dreamland where Bowser and K. Rool had chosen to set up camp. For the latter, that meant a number of traditional wooden huts surrounding his sophisticated airship, which was shaped like an enormous steel Klaptrap. Kremlings, Krusha, and all manner of other reptilian minions scurried about as they built up the station, while K. Rool himself stayed inside the airship monitoring their progress as well as that of his precious _Krystal_ on a number of screens. He and the Koopa had been asked by Professor E. Gadd to station themselves here in preparation for future voyages out to sea…although the croc suspected there were other reasons for them to be here as well. After all, with the Smash Brothers' forces relatively thin since Nightmare killed a third of their population, they had all been kept busy the past year shoring up defenses against possible hostiles within the various regions who might have cause to create chaos for the Smash Brothers—Giovanni, King Boo, and the Starmen, for example.

Bowser, on the other hand, had adopted a much simpler tactic. He'd had his entire floating castle placed just east of and a little farther inland from K. Rool, which had made for an impressive entrance, although there had been some concern for the destruction to Dreamland's environment that had come as a result. No one had had the courage to tell this to the Koopa King, and it was just as well since he wouldn't have moved even if they'd asked.

Inside the castle, Bowser sat on his sculpted stone throne, the red carpet and flickering torches creating a nice menacing atmosphere as he discussed various security issues and administrative matters with his generals. After receiving a detailed report from General Hammo about the status of Fourside City's reconstruction, an extremely tedious update from the Goomba lieutenant on their expenditures and supplies, and a rather disappointingly uneventful summary from the Koopatrol platoon leader of the peaceful relations within the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser sat in the silence of his chamber and sighed, massaging his forehead. He missed the days when he and Pichu had fought side by side, wasting no time worrying over petty business matters. But now Pichu—or, he supposed, the new Pikachu—was off on an adventure while he was stuck here in the doldrums of security work without even a princess to kidnap.

Finally, his longtime right-hand servant, Kamek the Magikoopa, flew through the red double doors into the room, landing a safe distance away from Bowser in case his mood became volatile.

"My king," he said, "I'm afraid I have little to report; the traitorous Boos of the Twilight Forest remain as elusive as ever."

 _Well, they_ are _ghosts_ , Bowser thought. But he didn't say it, because he didn't want to give Kamek any credit for his failure. "So why'd you even bother coming here? I've got Bloopers and Cheep-Cheeps to rally, you know." Even as he said it, though, they both knew how bored Bowser really was.

"My apologies, your Gruesomeness." Kamek bowed, remounted his broomstick, and flew back through the doors. That left only one more report for the day.

"General Guy," he said as the two-dimensional, paper Shy Guy scurried into the room, his white uniform looking like it had been drawn and colored in with markers. "Let me guess: nothing to report."

"Um, sir…" It was only then that Bowser lifted his eyes and realized the general clearly looked anxious about something.

"What is it?" Bowser's grip tightened on his armrests. "Someone didn't somehow find a way into the Dimension Conflux, did they?" After the Smash Brothers had retrieved the Dimension Relics from the strange realm within the Grande Snifit Hotel in Fourside, Gadd had had the door permanently sealed, with Dr. Mario locking the door behind him with the only key.

"No, it's not that; there's something you need to see, sir."

The words were music to Bowser's ears. At last, a reason to get off his rump and do something.

"Lead the way, general."

They proceeded outside and onto the beach, where Bowser immediately saw what General Guy was referring to.

Several rowboats were hastily making their way from the Waffle Kingdom, a cluster of tiny islands just visible in the distance that had many connections with the Mushroom Kingdom. Soon, they were close enough for Bowser to make out their occupants.

Waffle Kingdom Toads were like Mushroom Kingdom Toads in most ways, except their skin tended to be darker and instead of mushrooms on their heads, they sported a variety of muffins. Hundreds of the relatively primitive islanders filled the boats, with just two among their number standing out.

The Chestnut King had the bizarre appearance of a large, muscular human with a giant brown chestnut for a head, which was topped by a golden muffin crown above his beady black eyes. He was dressed in a grass skirt, golden armbands, and a red sash across his tanned torso.

Sitting beside him was the resident female royalty, Princess Éclair. She resembled Princess Peach in many ways, but her dress and crown were a chocolate brown, her mustard-colored hair tied back in a bun that did indeed resemble a donut-like pastry.

The two leaders disembarked with the first of the boats and approached Bowser, appearing too distraught to be afraid of him. _This must be really serious, then,_ Bowser thought.

Princess Éclair spoke first with a sweet, lilting accent, the Chestnut King standing silently at her side the entire time.

"You are the Smash Brothers, yes?"

Bowser nodded, not sure how else to respond. He didn't have any beef with these people, after all, so might as well be civil.

"We need your help; a great evil has come to our islands…" Her voice tremored along with her body as she went on. "We have evacuated our people safely, but I fear the evil will come here next."

Bowser raised an eyebrow, his arms folded. "What kind of evil?"

"We cannot say; we have never seen anything like them before…big, metal monsters on the water and in the skies…."

For all his flaws, the Koopa King was excellent when it came to making quick administrative decisions.

"You there! Scale Face!"

The Kremling in question stopped and gawped at Bowser, trying not to be offended.

"Go alert your king. Tell him to prepare for battle. Looks like we might be having some visitors." The Kremling nodded and hurried off toward K. Rool's airship.

"You! Troopa!"

The passing Paratroopa turned to face his superior.

"Go find that fat penguin king; tell him the same thing. Have them meet us here." The Paratroopa flew off in the opposite direction.

Bowser turned back to the Waffle Kingdom citizens. "All of you can follow me to my castle; we'll keep you safe there while I call the professor."

Once they had all been situated in Bowser's keep, the giant turtle turned on his Game Boy-like communicator and pressed a button. Gadd's face promptly appeared.

"What's the skinny?"

"We've got some potential hostiles heading our way from the Waffle Kingdom," Bowser said. "All the islanders've evacuated here, but it sounds like we might be going up against some high-tech machines of some kind."

Gadd's eyes widened. "Gadzooks! Is that so? I wonder who they might be? Perhaps another convoy of ambassadors? I shall be there in a jiffy." He ended the transmission.

Minutes later, Gadd and L.O.G. had come through the portal from Fourside and met with Bowser, K. Rool, Éclair, and the Chestnut King in Bowser's throne room.

"L.O.G., what do you make of this?" Gadd asked.

The ambassador's computer screen face expressed what seemed to be a profound puzzlement. "I cannot compute this situation. Neither RareWare nor Microsoft has discussed sending any additional representatives. I can only hope that perhaps Sony has sent emissaries of its own."

Bowser glared at L.O.G. "I knew we couldn't trust this conniving box of cables. I'll bet you brought your Microsian thugs here to take us over while we're vulnerable, just like I said before!"

Before anyone could respond, General Guy came crashing through the doors, this time thoroughly exhausted from climbing all of the castle's winding staircases.

"Your Vileness…I _really_ think you need to see this."

* * *

K. Rool's and Bowser's armies were gathered along the beach for about a mile, all of them staring at the line of ominous dots on the horizon. Dedede and his legion of creatures had begun filing onto the beach from the east, the king huffing and puffing as he stumbled over to the small group of leaders.

"What did I miss?"

As the specks approached and became more distinct, the Pong bars on L.O.G.'s screen enlarged, evidently the equivalent of widening his eyes. "This cannot be. It must be some form of error."

They watched as the specks on the water became battleships, and the dots in the air became green vulture-like gunships. The fleet moved with terrifying coordination toward the Nintendonian shore.

"Who is it?" Gadd turned to L.O.G.

"If I am not mistaken, those are Seran carriers and Spartan warships…." He still seemed frozen in shock by the spectacle, as if his system had just run 2 plus 2 and come out as 5.

"Why, you—" Bowser made to lunge at L.O.G. and crush his monitor like a window, but K. Rool blocked him with his thick arm and gave him a meaningful look with his bulging, bloodshot eye as if to say, _Not now._

"Well, I'll be…." Dedede took another gander at the newcomers. "Maybe they come in peace, too?"

An explosion blasted a segment of the beach, throwing sediment everywhere like some kind of sand monster.

Dedede gulped, his hands already sweating as they gripped his hammer. "Never mind, then."

* * *

Tetra frowned at the approaching mass of dark clouds, as if she could stare them down and chase them away. The wind had already begun to pick up, the weather's mounting discontent threatening a fierce battle between man and nature.

They had been at sea now for eight days, and the captain suspected they were already well over halfway to their destination, especially with the good wind they'd had and the absence of interruptions. She supposed it was only fair the ocean be allowed to let out all its pent-up emotion at least once during their voyage. After all, what was an adventure without challenges?

She turned away from the window of her cabin and walked out into the open air, looking down on the myriad crew members milling about _The King's Krystal_.

"All right, you worthless heaps of Moblin droppings!" she yelled, successfully securing everyone's attention. "The ocean's decided to come out and play, so I want all of you at the ready to ride this log flume through the rapids. To your positions!"

They scrambled about, some grabbing ropes to adjust the masts, others securing barrels and crates so they wouldn't slide across or off the ship.

"Niko!"

The diminutive, toothy first mate scurried up to her.

"Yes'm!"

"Go below deck and bring up whatever landlubbers you find down there. You can let the princess, her parasol, and the old man bunker down inside, but I want the rest up here to combat this calypsonian crosswind."

"Right away, captain!"

No sooner was everyone on deck than the rain began to fall in torrents. The wind whipped around them like angry spirits. Flashes of lightning lit up the cumulonimbus-covered sky like a godly flash camera. But worst of all, the waves went from cute little ripples to heaving hills to liquid mountains. Within a matter of minutes, the air around them was obscured in malevolent mist and the ship was tipping with each swell almost as steeply as the pirate ship ride in Pinna Park.

Some dealt with the turbulence better than others. The Kremlings, for the most part, were used to sailing and had no trouble holding their ground, their claws secured to their ropes. Tetra and Niko, of course, were naturals, the former at the wheel, willing _The King's Krystal_ to obey her commands with every twist and turn. The Ice Climbers were just as prepared, utilizing their climbing gear to harness themselves to one of the masts. The Kongs were also familiar with sea travel, having gone by boat to visit the Brothers Bear or move to and from DK Isle on many an occasion. Conker the squirrel was all the way up in the crow's nest, screaming with excitement like a lunatic. Toon Link in particular was surprised as his body seemed to naturally know what to do during this tumultuous weather; it was as if he'd regained muscle memory he'd never earned, his legs steady on the shifting deck, his hands directing him to the best edges to hold onto.

On the other hand, the Mobians were accustomed to rolling into balls to protect themselves, which was not at all what was called for in such a situation. They, along with Yoshi and Meta Knight, struggled to resist the urge to give in to their roundness and allow the momentum of the swells to carry them whence it willed. Red, Ness, Mr. Game & Watch, and Roy huddled together in one corner of the main deck, attempting to combine their small body weights to remain grounded. Falco and Peasley had ideas similar to Conker; they first went up to the prow to "ride the bull," so to speak, but when a particularly jarring bump nearly sent both of the bold adventurers overboard, they opted to retreat back to the main deck with the others. Samus and Captain Falcon were quite strong enough to hold onto their ropes as well, but the rocking of the boat was not something they were used to, and they had to fight the beginnings of seasickness in addition to the storm itself. Finally, Banjo's legs wobbled as he maintained a tenuous hold on his rope, all the while trying to talk the audacious Kazooie out of going for a swim.

The storm picked up more. It wasn't quite hurricane status, but for those who had never sailed before, it might as well have been the apocalypse. Ness shivered from within his cluster of Smashers and tried not to cry as he was soaked to his skin, expecting every boom of thunder to signify the bolt of lightning that would end his life. He could deal with Poo's PK Starstorms, but this was something else entirely.

Tetra shouted occasional commands as she struggled to keep _The King's Krystal_ heading in the right direction. She could feel the force of the rudder wanting to give in to the watery rollercoaster, but she was determined to show this ship who the master was. Ness had no idea how any of the Kremlings were able to understand what she said above the screaming wind and hammering downpour. He just knew that once this was all over, assuming he survived the day, he would never travel on such an old-fashioned boat ever again.

They crested the biggest wave yet and found themselves plummeting down an immense slope. Ness and several others screamed as the G-force combined with the looming wall of water threatened to swallow them whole like a whale. _The King's Krystal_ curved at the bottom of the slope, but then began to tilt backwards as the enormous wave broke over their heads.

The wave crashed onto the galleon, ensuring that anyone who still had a dry spot anywhere was now thoroughly drenched. Ness gasped for breath as he thought the masts were going to crack and topple over, but the creaking ship held true to K. Rool's promise that it was one of the finest vessels fit to sail.

It seemed a miracle that no one was thrown out by the monstrous ocean finger, but once they were through, the waves subsided substantially. The skies above were still dark and the thunder and rain continued, but the wind had let up enough for them to reorient themselves following their titanic tumble.

"Whew!" Falco shook some of the surplus water off of himself and slicked back his head feathers, trying to appear collected. "That was a nice little ride. Who's up for round two?"

"Me!" sounded Conker's faint voice from the crow's nest above.

"I think that's enough for me," Nana said, clutching her brother's hand tightly with a relieved smile. Then she noticed something and pointed to the ocean in front of them. "Hey, look at that!"

Those who followed Nana's finger saw a small group of seagulls circling about a random spot in the ocean, as if waiting for some tuna fish to jump out at any moment while playing a roundabout game of tag.

Popo laughed. "What are they doing way out here?"

"Oh no…." Niko had spotted the seagulls, and his expression twisted into one of horror. He turned and scrambled up the stairs to the poop deck. "Captain… _captain!"_

"What is it, Niko?" The words had barely left Tetra's mouth when she saw the strange phenomenon. Her face paled with dread. "That's not good…and we're heading right toward it..."

"What's all the fuss?" Captain Falcon asked, joining the two pirates. "They're just a bunch of birds."

"It's not the birds I'm worried about," Tetra breathed. "It's the—"

As if waiting for the opportune moment, the water beneath the seagull began to swirl, slowly at first, then faster with an ever-increasing diameter, the center forming a large funnel.

Tetra tried to steer _The King's Krystal_ away, but it was already too late. They were caught in the outer reaches of the whirlpool, and the seagulls scattered as something huge and white surged out of the funnel, sending a splash that added insult to the injury of their current predicament.

For all who had never been to the Great Sea, it was essentially a giant squid. But it was a giant squid with a towering pearly head with intricate blue designs and curling edges as if it had been designed by a Renaissance architect. The whole thing rose some forty feet above the surface, its long tentacles whipping in and out of the ocean, its tubular mouth continuously sucking in water, which explained the funnel. But most disturbing of all were its eyes—all twenty of them, big yellow orbs the size of cars dotting all the way around the slimy head. Yet despite the impossibility of all its eyes looking at a single thing at once, the occupants of _The King's Krystal_ couldn't help but sense that its attention was now focused entirely on them, like a spider noticing a fresh fly in its web.

After only a brief moment of paralysis, Tetra snapped back into action. "Man the cannons!" She hollered down to the crew. "Those of you who can fight from a distance, stay up here and lend a hand. Aim for the eyes; we've gotta hit them all before we reach the center. That's our only chance!"

Most of the crew began rushing toward the hatch that led down to the cannons on each side of the boat, although clearly the ones on the side facing the Big Octo would be more useful unless they somehow switched directions. Those who remained up top included Toon Link, Yoshi, Red, Falco, Samus, Banjo & Kazooie, Ness, the Kongs, and Conker. All aimed whatever weapons they had at the eyes and prepared to fire.

Captain Falcon was on his way to the stairs when he saw a huge tentacle rise over the port side, its suction cups seething hungrily. Before he could do anything, it came down onto the deck, wrapped itself around his fellow bounty hunter, and retracted itself back into the water like a strand of spaghetti being slurped into a mouth.

"Samus!" He dived off the ship after the tentacle without a second thought.

The others would have paid more attention to this had the battle not already begun.

"FIRE!" Tetra shouted, her command intended both for the cannons and the projectile-bearing heroes.

Several bursts of cannon fire boomed from the starboard side as the heavy lead balls rocketed toward the oppressing creature. Three eyes were stricken right off the bat, eliciting a warbled screech as the Big Octo was forced to shut them.

Toon Link began firing arrows from his Hero's Bow; the wind was still strong enough to affect their trajectory, but he did manage to strike one of the eyes after a few duds.

Yoshi sent a volley of green-speckled eggs, taking out an eye of his own.

Red, finally giving in to the demands of the situation, reluctantly tossed Pichu's—Pikachu's—Pokéball. The yellow mouse Pokémon's cheeks sparked as he first glanced at Red, realized it wasn't a good time to talk, took in the objective at hand, and began sending streams of Thunderbolts at the beast, hitting a target almost immediately.

Falco drew his twin blasters as the ship slowly circled around the monster, drawing ever nearer to its ravenous mouth. "All right, calamari, let's see if you can slurp _this!_ " His blasters were as ineffective as the other weapons when hitting the white skin or the tentacles, but his lasers also struck down two more eyes.

Kazooie, from her position in Banjo's backpack, spat a barrage of grenade eggs, popping two more targets just like he'd done with the patches of their old inflatable enemy, Mr. Patch.

Ness concentrated the best he could and directed a flickering blue sphere—PK Thunder—around the side of the head and nailed an eye on the opposite side.

Each of the Kongs—Diddy, Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky (Dixie carried no weapon, so she just watched, ready to lend a hand where she could if a tentacle appeared)—took out their peanut popguns, feather bow, grape shooter, and pineapple launcher respectively, and together they sent a wave of flying fruit at the Big Octo, taking out several more of the yellow spheres.

Conker—to Diddy's surprise—wielded nothing less than a machine gun, which he unloaded on the monster with chittering delight, not really caring how many eyes he actually hit, as if he were firing blindly in an arcade shooter game.

The Big Octo roared as all of its eyes were hit except four. But in the meantime, it had been lashing out with its tentacles, dragging several screaming Kremlings off the ship and tossing them into its gaping mouth. Even the armed heroes had to occasionally redirect their fire at a tentacle creeping up on them from behind or to the side, though their weapons did protect them in this way from the dreadful fates of the consumed crocodiles.

At one point, one of the tentacles flicked out of the water some twenty feet away. Tetra gasped as she watched Captain Falcon riding it like a bull, trying to free Samus from its grasp. He drew back his hand as it began to glow with a fiery red aura.

"Falcon…PUNCH!"

The Big Octo screeched again, the tentacle's end severed off as it dropped into the swirling water. Not long after, Samus's grappler beam shot out from underneath and latched onto the main mast, pulling both her and Captain Falcon back on board.

Suddenly and inexplicably, the maelstrom switched directions, causing _The King's Krystal_ to swerve its prow toward the Big Octo and then continue its spiraling orbit clockwise. By now they were just thirty feet or so from its head, moving toward it like a basket of goodies on its way to the wolf dressed as Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother….

The cannons were able to hit one more eye, but the other three eyes were on the other side, out of anyone's reach. They watched in helpless dismay as the end drew near.

"Stand back."

Everyone backed away from Samus as her arm cannon began to glow. For several seconds it charged, and then unleashed a wide stream of white energy—her Zero Laser—that enveloped almost the entire head, surely bursting the three remaining eyes on the other side.

The Big Octo gave a final, horrible screech as it collapsed, blinded, back into the depths from whence it came, the whirlpool coming to a sudden stop as it sank below the surface in defeat.

Most of the crew cheered, though a few of the more shaken ones—such as Captain Falcon—could only manage a grim smile. They had won.

At least, that was how it seemed, until a large ring of whirlpools began forming around the ship. Within less than a minute of their victory, a dozen more Big Octos had arisen, gurgling and waving their tentacles hungrily.

They slowly began converging on _The King's Krystal_ , evidently determined not to allow their quarry to escape, especially after it had felled one of their own.

Falco blinked. "Well, fetch."

Now things seemed even more hopeless than before. They had barely survived one of these monsters; how could they possibly defeat twelve of them?

The answer, of course, was that they couldn't.

Tetra's grip on the wheel loosened. She, like most of the others, realized it really would be the end this time. Even after all her many years of experience at sea, she had never been confronted with a situation as impossible as this. She just hoped that death would come quickly, and that the professor and the rest of the Nintendo World could forgive them for their failure to even reach their first destination.

The Big Octos closed in. It would now be only a matter of seconds, and then their ship would be crushed like a Cheerio underfoot, and it would all be over.

A huge, translucent magenta sphere descended from the sky, soon coming down to encompass _The King's Krystal_ within its boundaries. Two figures hovered at the center, their features reflecting off the flashes of lightning like celebrities in front of the paparazzi.

One had the appearance of a ghostly woman in a white dress with green sleeves and sleek hair and a striking scarlet eye peering out from behind it, as well as a small pink shield-shaped emblem on its chest. She appeared to be controlling the barrier, although she wasn't even lifting an arm as she concentrated.

The other was clearly a man, with tanned skin, long straggly hair, and a black beard tinged with gray, dressed in loose-fitting cloth. He hovered at the other's side with his arms folded and his eyes closed with surprising tranquility.

Red gasped. He didn't know who the man was, but he recognized the other from browsing his Pokédex, although he'd never seen one himself. It was Gardevoir, a serene Psychic Pokémon who was even more delicately powerful than he could have imagined.

The Big Octos were about to come into contact with the barrier, but then Gardevoir stretched out both her arms to each side. Purple electricity began fizzling along the entire dome. It shrunk almost to the point of contacting _The King's Krystal_ , then surged outward in an ethereal wave that consumed all the sea monsters, shocking them both mentally and physically, causing all their hundreds of eyes to burst simultaneously and their corpses to drift slowly down the hundreds of meters to the ocean floor.

The man suddenly opened his eyes, looked up at the sky, and gave a slight nod. In response, an enormous, colorful bird soared out of the storm clouds and uttered a song as beautiful to the ear as Gardevoir was to the eye. The Ho-oh glowed bright yellow, and a moment later, the sky did as well while an unnaturally brilliant sun chased away the remnants of the storm in mere seconds, soon transforming the seascape into an environment as peaceful as the day the heroes had left.

No one spoke. Red stood, aghast, as the man lifted a hand in acknowledgment (or thanks?) to Ho-oh and watched it fly away. He and Gardevoir then floated down to the prow of the ship, landing smoothly and regarding its crew thoughtfully.

The man searched the faces of the assorted Nintendonians, then came across one in particular, and his eyes widened. He strode down the stairs, everyone clearing a path for him, and came to a halt before Red. His cerulean eyes bore deep into those of the boy, containing unfathomable thoughts.

Finally, after a full thirty seconds of standing there, he spoke in a voice that seemed surprisingly normal considering what had just happened. It was deep, and seasoned, and somehow wise, but it was also human.

"Red…."

Red gaped at the man, at a loss for words, having no idea what was going on. Finally:

"Who… _are_ you?"

The man seemed to consider the question as if it were some philosophical conundrum worthy of lifetimes of pondering.

"You may not remember me…" He put a strong, tentative hand on Red's shoulder.

"But a father never forgets the face of his son."


	5. Chapter 4: Fatal Error (1)

Chapter 4: Fatal Error

* * *

 _ **T**_ he morning dawned with a merciless welcome upon the isolated pirate outpost. Pit tried to roll over and block out the sun's persistent light, but it was no use. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawned, and turned to find the Rito Postman—Quill—already up, apparently waiting for him.

"Eat," the ever-serious Rito said. He himself was chewing on a piece of jerky. "We must gather our strength for the day ahead."

Pit ate, having no objections. They stretched, packed what little supplies they could carry in their pouches, and set out.

As they took to the skies, leaving the small platform behind, Quill was as quiet as ever; yet somehow Pit sensed that something had changed between them. He felt there was a mutual respect, a camaraderie that hadn't been there before.

Sure enough, when Pit ventured to make conversation this time, the Rito was actually responsive. The boy learned about Quill's life on Dragon Roost Island—how the Rito people venerated the great dragon Valoo; how he had long served as a postman delivering messages all across the Great Sea; and how he had played a significant role in guiding the Hero of the Wind (Toon Link) as the boy sought to rid the Great Sea of evil.

In turn, Pit shared a bit about his former life in Skyworld—his role as captain of the goddess Palutena's royal guard; his experiences battling Medusa, Hades, and other malignant deities; his first adventures with the Smash Brothers in Master Hand's Room, Fourside, and later in Subspace.

It was about midday when they got their first glimpse of the island on the horizon. At first it was just a dark line, but as they drew nearer, Pit's first impression was that it was rather small; it couldn't have been much bigger than Yoshi's Island, just a couple miles in diameter. He supposed he'd expected more from the fabled Atari Island mostly because of how much Gadd and Frankly had talked it up. Then again, big things could often happen in small places.

As they neared the island, Pit began to make out a rocky shore with tropical trees and foliage obscuring the land a couple hundred feet inland. This seemed to be the case around the whole perimeter, which gave him the initial impression that perhaps this place was deserted, or didn't contain anything of importance after all, or wasn't even the right island. But then his aerial perspective showed him something that did away with all such doubts.

It was difficult to describe—some sort of black diamond that took up most of the middle of the island, giving no hint as to what lay inside. Pit couldn't even tell whether it was a solid structure or some queerly organized shroud of darkness. All he knew was that it gave him a feeling he'd never before experienced—a strange combination of déjà vu, belonging, and fear. In fact, for reasons he couldn't explain, he found himself almost magnetically drawn to it, making a beeline for the diamond; nothing else was important anymore but that he go inside….

"Pit!" Once again, Quill struggled to keep up with the impulsive angel. "Wait!"

But the boy barely even heard him, allowing nothing to distract from his descent. He plunged down toward the black mass, approached the edge, and…

He bounced off it like an exercise ball, the dark material repulsing him and sending him tumbling through the palm trees and onto the sandy surface, his fall slightly cushioned by branches and shrubs.

He groaned as Quill alighted beside him, offering him a hand. He took it and pulled himself back onto his feet, holding his head gingerly.

"Are you all right?"

No "I told you so's." Things really had begun to change between them.

"Yeah, I think so." Pit looked over at the black wall less than twenty feet away from them. It was definitely not solid, but based on his recent impact, it had to be more substantial than smoke; it was as if there were a magnetic field repelling anything that tried to approach it. "What do you think that is?"

" _Where the end begins,_ " Quill recited, quoting the words from the old map. "Whatever it is, we clearly won't be getting inside, at least not for now; not without the professor's help to figure it out. It covers most of the island, and the rest of this place seems to be nothing more than wilderness, but I do believe I saw something from the sky on the far side that looked like a building of some kind. We may as well begin our investigation there."

Pit nodded and followed the Rito around the edge of the black diamond. The conspicuous lack of wildlife here was almost as disturbing as the black wall; the only sounds were those of their own footsteps treading through the loose earth and the faint applause of the ocean about a mile away. It was as hot and humid as any summer's day on Nintendo's outer islands.

They went on in this way for about half an hour; Pit wanted to stay as far away from the blackness as possible, afraid of being drawn into it again, but Quill insisted that the ominous wall would be their best way of staying on course.

Finally, they reached an enormous clearing that housed quite an extraordinary structure. It appeared to be some kind of factory, built with an obsidian-black steel that formed several unsettling domes like a cluster of spider eggs. There were no smokestacks or fires, but something about it seemed to reek of sinister secrets.

A few robotic beings rolled around the domes, carrying metal crates or performing other more technical tasks such as assembling machine parts or working with complex arrays of wires and electrical panels. They often moved in and out of the domes through sliding doors that made a decompressing sound each time they opened.

And the robots themselves looked quite familiar to Pit: rolling bases, clawed arms, and E.T.-like heads with two bright bulbs for eyes. They were, in fact, the very likeness of Professor E. Gadd's R.O.B. (Robotic Operating Buddy) units, of a similar design to the one who had once served and then turned against Tabuu and the Subspace Army. The only noticeable difference with these was that their decals were either black and gold or green and gray, giving them a slightly less benign appearance, as if they were mechanized hornets and army men.

Pit and Quill peered out at the scene from behind the innermost ring of palm trees.

"We should inform the professor about this immediately," Quill said quietly. "This looks like a very covert, perhaps even dangerous operation. We can head back to the beach and give our report, and if we hurry, we can make it back to the pirate platform by nightfall."

But Pit shook his head. "We've come all this way; we should at least try and get a glimpse of what they're working on in there and who's in charge of it. A little more info could make a big difference helping the Smash Brothers know how to deal with it."

Quill looked like he was about to object, but then relented. "Very well. But this time, you follow my lead. We sneak in there, take a brief look inside, and then get out before something bad happens. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Pit said.

"The robots appear to follow a pattern of leaving and entering. Once that one finishes installing its machine part and goes back in, we should be clear for about thirty seconds before more come out."

They waited for the said robot to disappear through the sliding door, then hurried across the open ground toward the dome and slid inside before it closed.

There was a short hallway with glass walls that led to a second door—also glass—which opened out into the huge dome. The robot they'd been following had already turned the corner and was heading toward a wall on the other side of the room. With no other robots in sight, Pit and Quill slipped quietly through the glass door and stood in awe of the sight before them.

It was a huge iron-gray machine, the likes of which neither of them had ever seen. It towered at least fifty feet tall, standing upon two hinged metal legs, which were directly below what appeared to be a featureless head with a number of protrusions coming off the top, several of which looked very much like weapons.

The most interesting part was that upon closer inspection, there were in fact a few robots on the far side of the room where the machine stood, hovering on their rocket-powered bases and unscrewing pieces of it, slowly disassembling the parts and carrying them off to other areas of the vast chamber, some of them taking their cargo all the way outside to one of the other domes.

Quill gave Pit a meaningful look as if to say, _We've seen enough. Time to go._ Pit nodded and they turned to leave.

Then the alarm sounded. Suddenly, a red light flashed from the domed ceiling, and at least a dozen robots simultaneously stopped whatever they were doing and veered toward the two intruders, forming a semicircle around them and the glass door and pointing what Pit was quite sure were not water pistols at their heads, the robots' own heads lit with spinning sirens.

Pit and Quill slowly backed away with their hands up, discreetly pushed open the glass door, and turned to go.

A small old man stood in their way, his dark lab coat, gray tuft of hair, sharp incisors, and diamond-framed glasses with swirling designs all too familiar.

Professor Ulysses Reeka grinned at them like a bipedal piranha presented with a T-bone steak.

"Welcome to my new lab, Smash Brothers."

* * *

"Battle stations!" K. Rool roared, lumbering off toward his airship after the first blast from the Microsians had upset the beach. His hordes of Kremlings and Krusha and other such reptiles rushed to their wooden structures, pulling out a long line of barrel cannons with starbursts painted on their sides. A few of the buildings were stripped away to reveal catapults and trebuchets with piles of exploding oranges ready to be loaded onto them. A few of the burliest Krusha even wielded orange guns of their own, slobbering and growling with anticipation.

"Gadzooks!" The professor's eyes widened behind his glasses as he witnessed the fleet of Seran battleships and Spartan gunships quickly closing the distance between them. They had perhaps a minute before contact was made. He turned to Bowser and Dedede. "I've gotta make a few calls, lads; do you think you can hold them off until I get back?"

Bowser and Dedede shared a less-than-completely-reassuring glance.

"Doesn't really matter what we think, does it?" Bowser growled. "Go do your thing, professor. We'll show these punks what happens to anyone who tries to invade our turf." He stomped away and began barking commands to his various regiments. Blocks of Goombas, Koopatrols, Paratroopas, Magikoopas, and Shy Guys quickly formed as more poured out from Bowser's Castle. General Guy directed his throng of diverse paper Shy Guys, which included some on stilts, some that hopped, some that wore leafy camouflage and shot pellets, even some that lit themselves on fire. Kamek raised his wand along with the cluster of Magikoopas behind him in preparation for the attack.

Meanwhile, King Dedede was left with L.O.G., standing awkwardly on the beach while everyone else prepared for a fight.

"Well," Dedede said, no longer considering retreat like he once had, mainly because he feared punishment for desertion. "I s'pose you should get you an' your tinker toys to safety."

But L.O.G. shook his head as the mouse crawled out of his cloak and ran up the length of it onto his shoulder. It was hard to read emotion on a sentient computer, but Dedede thought he detected a note of resolve in the narrowed Pong bars.

"I must confront them myself; it is possible this is all but a supreme miscalculation and I may be able to reason with them. If not…" The green screen flickered, hinting at an inner energy buried beneath. "Then I will do what must be done to reestablish peace. That is why I am here, after all." He hovered down the beach toward the ocean.

"Uh…right." Dedede twirled his hammer uncertainly, not quite sure what L.O.G. meant. Finally, he remembered what he was supposed to be doing and turned back to the legions of Waddle Dees and Doos, spiky Gordos, and fungus-topped Cappys at his command. "Y'all get yourselves ready for a real big tussle!" he said. "Go an' join those other guys; we ain't lettin' these robotic ruffians trample over our home without our say so!"

There was no way the Smash Brothers could have foreseen the kind of combat they were about to engage in. None of them were familiar with the level of military technology that was standard issue in the Microsoft World. Even if some of the more sophisticated regions such as the Lylat System or the two Federations represented by Captain Falcon and Samus had been present, they still wouldn't have been prepared for the caliber of soldiers that were now closing in on Dreamland—soldiers that had been bred from childhood for nothing but warfare, that had been trained all their lives in the art of battle with weapons most residents of Nintendo could hardly dream of.

That first missile from one of the Seran battleships seemed to have been nothing more than a way of getting their attention, perhaps fulfilling some kind of honor-binding obligation to give them the opportunity to fight back—even though to those on shore, this was an ambush of the most disgraceful sort.

The battleships came to a halt a safe distance from shore, deployed a number of smaller boats, and then everything seemed to happen at once...because it did.

The Spartan gunships reached the shore first, crossing the threshold from water to earth like dull green fighter jets with thicker bodies. Hatches on the sides opened and Spartan warriors, all dressed in their equally green space armor with amber visors and armed with futuristic guns, joined the gunships' turrets in opening fire on the armies below with white flashes from the former weapons and blue laser beams from the latter. Kremlings and Goombas and Koopatrols and Waddle Dees and Shy Guys and others were mercilessly blasted apart, and there was nothing they could do but break their ranks and try to retreat to the relative safety of the palm trees.

A few, however, managed to fight back. A formation of Magikoopas, which had risen high above the action before it started, dive-bombed toward one of the gunships, yelling and conjuring magical shapes that knocked a couple Spartans off the edge, though the fall of thirty feet onto the watery sand below would hardly be enough to kill them with their protective suits. What was more, the Magikoopas suffered much heavier losses from the Spartans' guns than the foreigners did from their wands.

Back at K. Rool's outpost, the line of barrel cannons began firing, hurling their explosively juicy contents at the gunships. Most of the fruity projectiles missed or were shot down, but occasionally one would hit its target, jarring the ship or even destroying one of the guns. The line of armed Krusha snarled as they unleashed their fury in the form of more oranges, which also had minimal effect but did at least distract their foes for a time. Finally, the wooden catapults and trebuchets swung up and launched their cargo, which flew into the gunships or even as far as the more distant motorboats that were on their way toward the shore.

K. Rool's impressive Klaptrap-shaped airship pushed off from the ground and went forth to contend with the Spartan gunships directly.

Meanwhile, Bowser returned from his castle in his new Koopa Clown Car. He adopted a strategy similar to the Magikoopas, only in this case he remained above everyone and began deploying Mecha-Koopas from the bottom of the white vessel. The clockwork Koopa Kids would sometimes land on one of the boats or gunships, walking back and forth with their eyes rolling and their windup keys rotating. The Spartans pointed their guns at the small machines but were confused and didn't know how to react until the Mecha-Koopa made the decision for them, exploding and sending a couple more of them out of their transport. Bowser also dropped a few cannonballs, but those seemed to have a negligible effect on the ridiculously strong armor of the machines below.

Nintendo's foot soldiers were virtually helpless, with Waddle Dees vainly tossing spears that bounced off the gunships' iron hide and Shy Guys tumbling off their stilts and ineffectually spitting seeds at the enemies' helmets. Most of them were sitting ducks that were being shot down like targets at the state fair, and King Dedede didn't like it.

He waddled back to a particularly tall palm tree and discreetly puffed up to the leaves on top, looking down upon one of the gunships, which was circling low and obliterating his defenseless people. He took in a huge breath of air, then hurled himself off, belly-flopping onto the roof of the ship.

The craft shook heavily from the impact, but the force was not enough to stop it. The soldiers inside began to shoot up over the edges of the roof, a few of them climbing through a hatch at the back to take on the hitchhiker directly. Which was what Dedede had been hoping for.

He gripped his hammer tightly as the hatch began to open, the wooden head of his mallet folding out to reveal a flaming rocket engine. He waited for the first Spartan's head to rise above the roof's surface and unleashed his Jet Hammer, the propulsion from the hammer's hidden inner workings not only striking its target with much greater force than a normal swing, but scorching whatever it struck rather severely.

The unfortunate Spartan's neck actually cracked from the blow, sending his crippled body back into the gunship like a Whack-a-Mole. Dedede twirled his hammer again and laughed.

The Seran battleships, meanwhile, were launching a steady barrage of missiles at the beach, destroying large segments of troops and leveling several of the trebuchets and barrel cannons. Once the water was shallow enough, scores of COG soldiers began pouring out of the boats like amphibious ants. They were dressed a bit differently from their Spartan allies, wearing thick metal vests around their huge, muscular torsos, their arms like tree trunks and their legs powering them through the water onto the shore from within their baggy camo pants. Their guns were not quite as sophisticated as the Spartans', but still packed more than enough punch to give their opposition less than a snowball's chance in Hell of succeeding against them.

L.O.G., having been provided with no opportunity to initiate diplomacy, found himself forced to fight back against his fellow Microsians. His screen flashed as a trio of COG troopers came at him. All three of them were suddenly frozen in place, as if they were pixelated figures on a crashed computer screen. Then the mouse hopped from L.O.G.'s shoulder and onto the paralyzed fighters, crawling behind their necks and knocking out each in turn with an electric zap.

Around the edges of one the battleships, the naval commander shouted to his crew as numerous white squids—Bloopers—crawled their way up the hull and onto the deck, splattering burly sailors with their ink and whacking them with their tentacles. Cheep Cheeps, round red fish with thick lips and little wings, cast themselves over the deck, some taking a Seran with them into the water. One large blue one swallowed a man whole as it made its descent back into the water on the other side of the ship. Guns flashed from this and the other battleships as the Serans contended with the unexpected sea attack.

Then, on one of the less occupied ships, a kraken-like Gooper Blooper worked its slimy tentacles around the entire vessel, spitting heavy jets of ink at the command deck and rocking the ship back and forth like a child refusing to let go of a large, sluggish dog.

The fight on the beach was going very poorly, but by then Gadd had returned with a regiment of white R.O.B.s, which did their best to hold back the line of grounded Spartans and COG troopers with the red lasers shooting from their eyes. Most of the other armies had either evacuated or been killed in the high-tech battle, the survivors fleeing to Bowser's Castle for refuge. Very few of K. Rool's artillery weapons remained intact, with only a couple Krusha keeping up their bombardment of oranges.

Dedede was sweating profusely as he struggled to keep the upsurge of Spartans down inside their gunship. Suddenly he heard a strange chorus of yells and gunfire directly beneath him, and then a single Spartan helmet popped up from the hatch.

"Get away from me, ya murderin'—"

The penguin stopped mid-speech as he realized the Spartan helmet had sprouted little stubby legs and arms, which were barely able to wield the tiny space gun in its grasp.

"Poyo!"

"Kirby!" Dedede sighed in relief. "I never thought I'd say it, but it sure is good to see ya, you little devil."

"Bye!"

Spartan Kirby disappeared back into the depths of the gunship, where the Spartans' screams erupted once more.

The R.O.B.s, despite their valiant efforts, were forced to fall back toward the palm trees, the COG troopers and Spartans picking them off with ease. At the front, a small cluster of Serans led the charge, the foremost soldier a huge man with a gray bandana on his head and a dark soul patch on his chin.

"We got 'em, Fenix!" hollered a shaggier soldier with a full black beard beside him.

The last line of R.O.B.s parted to make way for two figures, one tall and thin, the other short and stocky. One in green, the other in red.

Mario and Luigi faced the two Seran commanders side by side, their hands glowing with red and green fire. And then a simultaneous cry.

"Let's a-go!"

"Mario and Luigi, huh?" Marcus Fenix cocked his Lancer Assault Rifle as the Serans and remaining R.O.B.s formed a rough circle around them, too fascinated by the confrontation to continue fighting each other. "I've heard all about you…well, about Mario, anyways."

Luigi pretended not to notice the insult as his brother addressed the invaders.

"Why are you a-here?" Mario demanded.

Fenix snickered. "You know why we're here, Nintendonians; Dom and I have come to claim redress for the war grievances your kingdoms never answered for."

The bearded man, Dominic Santiago, noticed the brothers' confused expressions. "You mean to tell me you don't even remember slaughtering our people?" He cocked his gun as well, revving the chainsaw fused to the end of all Lancers. "That's it, Marcus; let's take these mushroom-munching murderers down!"

As they aimed and prepared to fire their weapons, however, the Mario Brothers demonstrated their own preparation. Luigi pulled out what looked like a tiny stuffed squirrel out of his trousers and squeezed it, transforming into Tanooki Suit Luigi, which looked pretty much exactly as it sounds. Mario swung his yellow cape, sending the first of the bullets back at the aggressors, although their bulletproof vests deflected them like spitballs.

Mario jumped and brought his fist down upon Fenix's head, pushing him back and causing him to drop his gun. The COG leader grunted and came back with a powerful swing of his arm, narrowly missing Mario, but followed up with a knee jab into the plumber's stomach.

Luigi performed his renowned Green Missile, careening headfirst at Dom and flooring him before the man could react. He kicked and punched the downed Seran the best he could, but the musclebound man was far too durable to be affected by such feeble strikes; he caught Luigi's fist and flung him backwards onto the ground, still grimacing from the flickering green flames that danced across his body before extinguishing. Luigi barely jumped out of the way before Dom's whirring Lancer chainsawed the spot where his head had just been. In fact, he felt to his dismay that the top of his green cap and several locks of hair had been cut clean off. But at least it hadn't been his neck.

Mario and Luigi regrouped, worn and panting, and with one sideward glance at each other knew what to do next. As Dom fired his Lancer and Fenix hurled his body at them with chainsaw-gun in hand, Luigi used his Cat Suit powers to transform into a statue, blocking the bullets, and then Mario lifted his brother's petrified body with a heave and swung it at Fenix, knocking him flat.

"Yahoo!"

He spun with Luigi's head in his hands, the momentum knocking out both COG troopers with a couple more hits to the head and two vertical slams to the belly. He planted his brother back onto the sand. Luigi transformed back into flesh and bone and immediately fell flat, for Mario had accidentally put him down on his head. He shook his head, dislodging sand from every orifice of his face and glaring up at his brother.

"My a-bad," Mario said with a grin.

Bowser roared as a blue laser struck his Clown Car's propeller, sending it smoking and spiraling down. Rather than allow himself to fall into the water, however, he leapt vengefully from the bowl-shaped aircraft, retreated into his spiked shell, and pounded upside down upon the deck of one of the battleships, joining his sea creatures against the Seran navy.

He growled with delight as he swiped first one human, then another, and his lungs heated up as he unleashed a stream of flames that ignited the ship, creating even more of a panic. The bullets from the soldiers mostly deflected off his shell, but he winced as a couple found their way into his tender underside. This, of course, he could not tolerate, so he immediately achieved retribution by taking out whatever COG trooper had dared shoot his thick scaly hide.

During a brief moment of peace when his Bloopers and Cheep Cheeps were keeping the rest of the crew occupied, Bowser watched in admiration as K. Rool maneuvered his aircraft in a one-on-one dogfight against a Spartan gunship, lasers and oranges being exchanged at a rapid, unrelenting rate. He was surprised to hear a sudden voice from the communicator tucked in his shell.

"Watch this, Koopa," K. Rool's electronic voice said.

A gigantic barrel folded out from the top of the flying Klaptrap, hosting a giant red missile reminiscent of the kind once used by K. Rool's underling, Armydillo. The airship tilted and swerved beneath the Spartan gunship, did a 180-degree turn so that it was flying upside-down back toward its target, and launched its ultimate weapon.

The missile met its mark, resulting in an explosion that ripped the gunship to shreds along with its occupants.

Bowser cheered along with the other Nintendonians who had witnessed the spectacle, punching an approaching Seran without even looking.

Then the unthinkable happened. From behind King Dedede's Castle, a couple miles to the east, an airborne frigate several times larger than the Spartan gunships arose and began to approach. It looked like some kind of dark gray cross between an Imperial Star Destroyer and a giant handgun, hovering like a harbinger of destruction across the coast of Dreamland.

One of its metal arms charged up and fired a massive white beam at the castle. The Magnetic Accelerator Cannon's blast engulfed the structure and shattered it like a window in a matter of seconds, sending debris flying for miles and leaving not even a single stone still standing on another—just a broken tip where the peninsula had once stretched out toward the ocean. The coil gun had annihilated Dedede's home like a stray fleck of paint sticking on a wall.

But it didn't stop there. The cannon charged up again and sent another blast all the way from the peninsula to the oceanfront. Its target? K. Rool's airship. The deadly white energy shot through the green vessel, melting and disintegrating it like a snow cone beneath the hot sun. When the beam narrowed and finally dissipated, nothing remained.

"Rool!" Bowser didn't even care about the swarm of COG soldiers forming a ring around him, guns poised. He didn't care as his remained Bloopers and Cheep Cheeps were slain or beaten back into the water, or as the Gooper Blooper was slowly fileted by the troopers' weapons. Nothing else mattered.

The king croc was dead.

Bowser's shock was shared by the rest of the Nintendonian defenders, as Dedede's Castle and K. Rool's airships were both felled by the monstrous frigate. L.O.G., the R.O.B.s, Dedede, Spartan Kirby, Gadd, and the Mario Brothers stopped what they were doing, allowing themselves to be surrounded and subdued by their enemies. It wasn't a mere setback they'd just witnessed; it was devastation.

The remaining gunships made way for the frigate as it landed on the beach, taking up most of it and knocking down a number of palm trees with the force of its alien engines. As it did so, Bowser was ferried back to shore and the captured Smash Brothers were rounded up with L.O.G. in front of the boarding ramp, which lowered with a decompressing sound to allow its occupants to disembark.

More Spartans, each of them clad in identical space armor, emotionless, pitiless, lifeless. But the last one to climb down was different. Not much physically—his armor was a bit darker green and he stood a few inches taller than the rest—but in the aura he exuded. The other Spartans parted to allow their leader, Master Chief, to approach his prisoners, the commanding voice worthy of his imposing presence.

"You're wise to surrender," he said, carrying his gun loosely at his side. "We need not waste any more lives than is necessary. Now…who is chief among you?"

Professor E. Gadd stepped forward out of the small group of survivors, his emotions hidden behind his glasses.

"What is it you want that could not have been settled peacefully?"

"It's not about what _I_ want," the Chief said cryptically. "It's about what needs to be done. Your people owe us a great debt for your past transgressions against us…a debt we intend to collect."

L.O.G. appeared unable to contain himself any longer.

"What is the meaning of this unjustified override, Chief? I have been here building the bonds of trust as we had agreed, yet here you are with your gun-wielding viruses destroying any chance we had of accomplishing that goal."

"Change of plans."

Master Chief raised his gun and shot L.O.G.

The ambassador crashed onto the sand from the laser blast, his monitor severely cracked, the screen going black, the mouse scurrying up to the blanked-out computer and tapping the glass in vain.

Bowser felt his stomach wring itself like a wet rag. He was angrier than he'd been for a very long time. First these aliens had killed K. Rool, and now they had taken out the ambassador who had apparently been the one Microsian that truly wanted peace, the one Microsian the Smash Brothers had been right to trust…even though until this very moment, Bowser hadn't. And they had killed him for absolutely no reason, right after claiming they didn't want to take more lives than was necessary.

"You'll regret that," he growled, his lungs beginning to heat up.

"Unfortunately," Master Chief said, raising a hand and signaling his surrounding Spartans to raise their guns, "none of you will be around to see that promise through. Just remember...after everything we've suffered, this is what you deserve."

But before he could give the signal to execute Gadd, Bowser, Mario, Luigi, Dedede, Kirby, and the few other remaining Smash Brothers, something happened. Something big.

The bright sky darkened as the sun was eclipsed by a majestic shape, followed by innumerable others. They came from the air; they came across the land; they even came from the seas. They began with an amorphous chatter and became a tremendous uproar.

Pokémon.

Lance the Dragon Master, riding his awe-inspiring Dragonite, led the formation of flying creatures beside Mewtwo, the powerful Psychic cat. An assortment of birds and other airborne species—Fearow, Beedrill, Butterfree, Golbat, Noctowl, Skarmory, Scyther, Pelipper, Altaria, Tropius, Salamence, and more.

April, Red's sister, led the Water Pokémon atop her dignified Lapras, among them Tentacruel, Poliwhirl, Psyduck, Dewgong, Seadra, Gyrados, Cloyster, Starmie, Lanturn, Octillery, Mantine, Sharpedo, Wailord, and many others.

From inland, Gary, Red's cousin and longtime rival, led a stampede atop his faithful Arcanine that included Nidoking, Primape, Dodrio, Electrode, Exeggutor, Taurus, Arbok, Ariados, Ursaring, Stantler, Miltank, and Loudred, just to name a few.

It made sense; during the war against Nightmare, a large percentage of Nintendo's armies were destroyed by his Smash Rod. However, those who were unique in form were preserved as trophies. The Pokémon were by far the most diverse body of individuals within the Nintendo World, so it followed that they alone retained the majority of their strength.

They came like the physical embodiment of Mother Nature's wrath. If the Smash Brothers had been surprised by the Microsians' naval assault, the Spartans and Serans were just that much more astounded by the magnificent manifestation of creatures that had come to defend their world.

A conflux of Pokémon attacks—Fire, Water, Electric, Ice, Rock, Psychic, Dark, and so on—swept toward the intruders like the destroying angel, consuming the first few in its colorful conflagration.

Master Chief himself seemed unable to believe what he was seeing for a moment. Then he turned his gaze back to the liberated Smash Brothers.

"This is just the beginning."

He and the other Spartans filed hastily back into the freighter, the unfortunate stragglers falling to the Pokémon's tidal wave of attacks. The battleships, on the other hand, were not so lucky; just as they began to turn around to flee, a colossal Wailord, at least the size of a Blue Whale, rose underneath one of them and flipped it over like a hot dog on a barbecue, sending its occupants screaming into the ocean. The other battleships were likewise dismantled by enraged Tentacruel, Gyrados, and other Water Pokémon.

The freighter lifted off of the beach and made its retreat, with the three remaining gunships following behind. But Lance and Mewtwo would have none of it. Dragonite consumed one gunship with a mighty turquoise Dragonbreath, while Mewtwo caught another with a kaleidoscopic Psybeam. Only the freighter and a single gunship managed to escape.

The Pokémon and survivors cheered as Master Chief and his men were overwhelmed and chased off. But Bowser did not join in the celebration; his eyes were still fixed upon L.O.G.'s blank screen, which still flickered occasionally like a television with a faulty satellite connection.

What did this mean for the Nintendo World? Despite all their efforts to make peace, despite the expeditions they had sent and L.O.G.'s diplomacy, had the fires of warfare been rekindled between them and Microsoft? Were the Copyright Wars to continue right where they'd left off?


	6. Chapter 4: Fatal Error (2)

Red was speechless as he and his father embraced. The rest of _The King's Krystal_ was silent, sensing the importance of this moment, and whether they cared about the Pokémon trainer's missing family or not, they were in awe of the man who had come from the sky and saved them from a dozen deadly sea monsters.

Finally, Red's father spoke again through budding tears, the words flowing with the sagely resonance of Liam Neeson. "I've found you at last…and we have so much to discuss. But first, please introduce me to your friends."

* * *

Once Red's father had been given the grand tour of _The King's Krystal_ and become briefly acquainted with each of the passengers, he, Red, and Tetra met together in the captain's quarters, the waning light of dusk seeping in through the water-blurred windows, a single lantern lighting the desk with a golden brilliance.

Tetra offered the man a bottle of rum, which he politely declined. "On behalf of the Nintendo World, I thank you for what you did for us. We'd be floundering on the bottom of the ocean right now if you hadn't so opportunely intervened."

The man just nodded. "You brought my son to me, Captain Tetra, so I believe we can call ourselves even. I would, however, like some time alone with Red, if that's acceptable."

"Of course," Tetra said, standing up and extending her hand. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like, Mr…?"

"Quentin," he said, taking her hand and shaking it with an almost unnatural firmness. "And thank you; I would like very much to join you and your friends for a time."

"We'll fix you up a place to sleep near your son, then." Tetra headed toward the door and turned her head once more before exiting. "Let me or any of my crew know if you need anything at all; we're at your service."

Once the door closed, Quentin turned back to Red, the yellow light casting shadows over his face. "I realize you must have a thousand questions for me, Red, and I promise I will answer all of them in time. But for now, let this my brief explanation suffice.

"Your mother was the love of my life. When you were born in Pallet Town, I believed I had everything I'd ever need to be happy: an angel wife, two perfect children, and a life spent doing what I loved most—training Pokémon. I'm sure you still have at least a vague memory of how involved I was in the Pokémon Leagues, spending an unfortunate amount of time away from home training and battling, but bringing home a near fortune of winnings and, above all, treasuring our times together as a family. How much I wish I'd been there the past ten years to see how you've grown into such a fine young man…" He got a wistful, far-off look in his eye. "But in any case, you must know that you and Delia were the most important parts of my life, and it was never my intention to leave you alone."

Red's brain was filled with so many conflicting emotions that he thought he might explode like an Electrode. "Then…why did you? Why did you never come back?" He paused, reluctant to finish his question but knowing it had to be done for him to make peace with himself. "Didn't…didn't you want me?"

"Of course I did…." Quentin was silent for a moment, as if recovering from a blow to the face, before he responded. "I cannot explain everything to you right now, Red; there are some things you are not ready to understand. But when the time is right, you will know everything. Suffice it to say that I did not stay away for lack of desire to return. Tonight, I want to tell you about the day my life was changed forever.

"It was after the biggest Pokémon Tournament I'd ever entered. Though it was true I'd never lost a battle, even I felt nervous as I went head to head with the top trainers from not just Kanto, but several other regions as well, coming up against Pokémon the likes of which I'd never seen before.

"In any case, to make a long story short, I won. Yet something seemed different that time. The medals; the prize money; the glory; even the one-of-a-kind Master Ball awarded to me as champion felt empty for some reason I couldn't explain. I had achieved my dream, proving myself the best Pokémon Trainer in the world once and for all. But something was still missing…and when I went into the Champion's Cave, I soon found out.  
"The caverns were dark as pitch; the rushing waterfalls and jagged rocks not even close to as dangerous as the wild Pokémon I encountered there. Even my first Pokémon, who had by then evolved into Gardevoir, struggled against some of the incredible beasts we came across." Quentin's face paled. "And then…then I found him."

"Found who?" Red prompted, not even aware of how utterly absorbed he was in his father's story.

"The mightiest Pokémon of all; the only one who possessed the combined intelligence of both man and Pokémon because he had been born of both, albeit through terrible means; the only Pokémon who did not fear any Pokéball—not even a thousand Ultra Balls—because he was too powerful, too strong-willed to be contained.

"Mewtwo."

Red gasped, but before he could speak, Quentin pressed on, the lines on his face suggesting far more experience than his age merited.

"I'll never forget that moment: Gardevoir and my other five champion Pokémon and I, squaring off against Mewtwo. It took only a short time for me to realize, though, that there was no way I would be able to KO—let alone capture—this Pokémon by conventional means. I decided it was time to use the Master Ball, the only ball ever engineered to successfully ensnare any Pokémon, no matter how powerful. I drew the purple sphere and prepared to cast it, and by so doing complete my collection of all 150 Kanto species. But then…then he spoke.

"Or at least, he spoke to my mind, asking me why we were fighting it, angry that we were there to submit it to the same imprisonment experienced by so many of his Pokémon brothers. He spoke to me not as a Pokémon, but as a man.

"I was thunderstruck. I dropped the Master Ball where I stood and fell on my knees and begged Mewtwo for forgiveness.

"I believe he spared me and my Pokémon because he saw the pure intentions of my heart. He told me I must dedicate myself to a new quest—a quest to look inside myself and discover the true meaning of my life, both as an individual and in my relationship with the Pokémon world."

At this point, Quentin reached for his belt and drew a single Pokéball unlike any Red had ever seen. It glowed like a star, the top half a bright neon blue covered with intricate designs.

"I took his advice. I went off on my own to discover myself, and eventually I found my answer: I have been chosen to bring about a change in the bond between humans and Pokémon that will last forever. These noble spirits are not merely animals to be captured and pitted against one another for our own entertainment and personal aggrandizement; rather, they are soul-possessing beings who deserve the same respect as the worthiest of our own race."

Red's brain now failed to process not just his emotional reaction to all this, but the philosophical implications of what his father was telling him. Pokémon were not born to be controlled or enslaved by humans. It was as if he'd known it all his life but until now had been unable to put it into words. He stared at the strange Pokéball, mesmerized by its glittering surface.

"So what did you do?" Red asked.

Quentin gave a faint smile. "First I went to the nearest Pokémon Center and released every last one of my Pokémon into the wild, including Gardevoir. Then, after months of meditation, I used the Master Ball to create this." He picked up the glowing Pokéball and placed it in Red's hand. Red felt a shiver run down his spine as an unspeakable power rushed through his body.

"This is the Omni Ball. As you may notice, I no longer carry Pokémon in such spherical prisons." He lifted his shirt to reveal his empty belt. "No creature was meant to be forced to cater to the whims of humans. But the years have taught me much, and I have learned of a bond that can form between man and beast, one that runs deeper than any trainer and his captive Pokémon—a Spirit Bond."

Quentin let his words sink in, appearing to want his son to have a moment to absorb and understand the import of his tale.

"So what does it do?" Red asked, placing the Omni Ball back on the table.

"The Omni Ball does not enclose a Pokémon; rather, it is a conduit—a channel through which any Pokémon may travel by choice from any location to wherever the ball is thrown. In other words, Red, when I use the Omni Ball, I am not calling upon my personal pocket monsters to do my bidding. I am merely inviting them to come if they will it so. Of course, that means sometimes they may not come, but once your Spirit Bond becomes strong enough with the Pokémon world, your will and theirs become one, and you will never ask them to do anything they are unwilling to do."

"Wow…" For some reason, Red felt impelled at that moment to retrieve two Pokéballs from his belt and toss them beside him. Pikachu and Jigglypuff appeared, a bit confused at first, but glad all the same that Red finally desired their company. Pikachu jumped onto one shoulder while Jigglypuff floated to the other, both of them snuggling against their master.

"Pi Pika!"

"Jiggly!"

"Dad…" The word sounded strange coming out of his mouth, but it almost immediately felt right. "I think I feel the same way. My Pokémon feel free to come and go from their Pokéballs whenever they want. I only wish I could have…" He trailed away, choked up with recent memories.

Quentin's eyes bore deep into Red's, as if sifting through his soul. "You wish you could protect them better. I see you have suffered a great loss; it was your first Pokémon, wasn't it?"

Red nodded, unable to say anything.

Quentin placed a weathered hand on Red's. "I have lost Pokémon, too. I do not pretend to know all you've been through…but I can tell from the way your Pokémon behave that you have loved them as you would your own children. You are right to mourn your friend's death…but do not let it burden you. His spirit has become one with the universe, and it will always reside with yours. No mortal ailment can change that."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, the world bathed in darkness around them save for the single lantern. Finally, appearing to make a decision, Quentin picked up the Omni Ball.

"Perhaps this will bring you some small comfort."

He closed his eyes for a moment with relaxed concentration, then tossed the ball onto the wooden floor.

The blue light shot out from within and formed a small floating figure, a pink cat with a long tail, fathomless sapphire eyes, and a glittering aura about it as if it were a shooting star.

"Mew…"

The extremely rare Pokémon hovered over to Red until it was inches from his face. He, Pikachu, and Jigglypuff all stared at the bright figure like moths drawn to a lightbulb. Mew maintained eye contact with Red for several seconds, rubbed its nose affectionately against his forehead, and then Teleported out of sight.

"You are already well on your way to enlightenment, Red…much wiser than I was at your age…" Quentin stood and pulled his son to his feet, and together they wandered over to the window, where the stars and the crescent moon reflected off the water, making it almost impossible to tell which was up and which was down. The shaggy-haired man put his arm around the boy. "And together, I know we will make our world a better place…for everyone." He looked over at Red. "Now tell me…what is this quest you and these Smash Brothers are undertaking?"

* * *

The next four days at sea seemed to pass by in a blur. Quentin quickly integrated with the rest of the crew, although everyone still regarded him with unusual respect whenever he was around. All were more grateful than ever for the calm seas after the disastrous storm and their nearly being swallowed by the Big Octos. For the most part their supplies continued to serve them well, though despite their best efforts, a few crates of food and ammunition had been lost to the waves. Whatever damage inflicted to the masts and rigging (namely, a few tears and snapped ropes) was quickly repaired, and life on _The King's Krystal_ could almost have been described as normal.

Then the reports came in: Gadd had contacted Tetra on the tenth day with the shocking news of the attack on Dreamland's coast. The Kremlings went into a state of mourning, ceremonially dropping a solid gold crown into the ocean in honor of their fallen king. Without their first loyalty alive to direct them, Tetra and the Smash Brothers were now all they had left. Princess Peach had to admit that even though she'd long considered the crocodiles vile, vulgar, and heartless, she found herself feeling sympathy for their plight.

She was busy one day in the galleys, helping to prepare an aromatic Shroom Soufflé while having to constantly shoo off Falco and Chunky Kong from stealing samples. Beside her, Ness was busy cooking a few of Poo's kabobs, sautéing the chopped vegetables and beef chunks in a frying pan while the princess saw to the garnishing of her fungus-based dish. Heat and steam and sizzling were their home, a small piece of familiarity in a literal sea of foreign lifestyles.

"Smells good," Ness called over the clamor of cooking, flipping over a few morsels all the while.

Peach smiled graciously, grateful she was provided an apron to protect her pink dress from splattering oil. "Thank you. Your kabobs are looking delicious, too."

For some reason, Ness found himself in a pensive mood, as if the food had somehow caused him to reflect on not only the journey of _The King's Krystal_ thus far, but on everything he'd experienced ever since that fateful day at the Pokéfloat Festival. Very early in that journey, he'd met Princess Peach, although as a fellow prisoner in Master Hand's Fortress, it had been in far from ideal circumstances. At length, he decided to voice his thoughts.

"So…Princess Peach?"

"Yes?"

"You remember when we defeated Nightmare…or at least, I was there when Nightmare told us he was the 'embodiment of fear.'"

Peach nodded, familiar with the story. The events leading up to Kirby's ultimate triumph over the supervillain had become legendary.

"Well…when we faced that giant squid, I was scared out of my mind. If Nightmare's really gone, then why do I still feel afraid sometimes?" He almost dropped a slice of squash as he slid it onto a skewer. "Do _you_ ever feel afraid still?"

Peach was surprised by the profound question, but she found herself even more surprisingly prepared to respond. She stopped to face the boy. "You're not alone, dear one. I was afraid when Petey Piranha kidnapped me at the stadium…when the Shadow Bugs joined to become that horrible machine Duon…when Tabuu almost brought our entire world into Subspace forever. Even now, I'm afraid for Mario after that business in Dreamland, and I'm afraid what dangers might be waiting for us in the Sony and Microsoft Worlds."

"Then how do you deal with all that fear?" Ness worded his next question carefully so as not to sound sexist. "I mean, I'm just a kid, and you're a princess, and I think we can both fight pretty good, but still…there's so much out there bigger and stronger than we'll ever be. Like what if a bomb just blew up your castle like they did with King Dedede's?"

Peach had to think about that one for a while. "I don't really know, Ness. I just take it one day at a time, do all I can, and hope for the best. There are some things we might never fully understand, like why we still have fear with Nightmare gone, but can I tell you a secret about being a leader?"

Ness nodded as Peach giggled and leaned down toward him to whisper in his ear.

"We never know what we're doing anyway." She stood back up straight. "Besides, there are many battles that can't be won just with brute strength. Bowser's maybe the leading authority on that." She giggled again. "That's why we were chosen for this journey—not Bowser, not Donkey Kong, not even Mario. We each have skills that make us unique, that help us to contribute to the Smash Brothers in a way no one else can."

Ness was so lost in thought by this point that he almost let his kabob burn to a crisp. He yelped as he took it out of the oven, accidentally burning a finger on the hot metal. He ran the burn under cold water for a minute and returned to his position.

But his kabob was gone. He turned to the door of the galley to find dark fur slipping through it, leaving the door swinging in its wake.

" _Chunky!"_

* * *

By the twelfth day, Toon Link was more or less accustomed to his new identity. It did have its perks, after all; he was lighter, swifter, and his vision was almost twice as good as it had been before his mysterious transformation. Yet there were still some things that didn't sit right with him.

He stood beside Tetra at the helm of the ship as she steered it casually through the clear cerulean water, the sun bright overhead. For once, however, the captain did not appear to be in a talkative mood.

What Toon Link couldn't understand was that he was beginning to remember things, catch glimpses of things that felt familiar to him even though they shouldn't have been. During the night and even during the day, _The King's Krystal_ yielded flashes of another ship, small and red with the head of a lion…islands of the Great Sea with volcanoes and towns and thatched lookout towers…an ugly fortress-island with bright floodlights that seared across the surrounding area like giant evil eyes...and then, the small detail that he felt like he recognized both Tetra and Niko, that they shared some suppressed history that refused to resurface.

What was more, even though Tetra refused to have seen him before, Toon Link could just tell that at least a part of her had been lying, whether she had been consciously aware of it or not. This was just like the first time he wondered why he and his older self were still living in the same time—a question without even the slightest trace of a possible answer.

He looked down and watched as Niko chewed out Lanky for his lamentable job of swabbing the deck. Suddenly, a question came out his mouth that surprised the mouth's host as well as the addressee.

"Why is Niko your first mate? What happened to the rest of your pirate crew?"

Tetra was so startled that she almost let go of the wheel. She gave the boy a sidelong glance. "What are you talking about?"

Toon Link tried to think of a rationally justifiable reason for knowing this information, but failed. "I remember there used to be others: Gonzo, your old first mate; Senza; Nudge; Zuko; Mako. What happened to them?"

At first Tetra tried to ignore the question, then appeared to have an internal struggle, and finally relented, a dark shadow having crossed her tanned, windswept features. "All right. I had another crew; we were the best pirates ever to sail the Great Sea. We plundered everywhere from Outset to Windfall to Dragon Roost, taking whatever we wanted and living the adventures of a lifetime."

She went on with difficulty, averting Toon Link's eyes. "Then one day, we were attacked by something huge underwater. At first I thought it was a sea serpent, or a Big Octo like the ones we had the pleasure of meeting the other day. But then it rose partway out of the water, its metal hull pointed toward us like Poseidon's eye. It fired just two torpedoes at us, and next thing we knew, my ship was in splinters. Niko and I were the only ones to survive…"

Toon Link could have sworn he saw a tear begin to creep down her cheek, but then she turned and wiped it away, pretending a bug had flown into her eye. In the middle of the ocean.

"That's when your friend, Quill, found us. He told us about the Smash Brothers and about your ambitious plans to unite the worlds. We had nothing and no one to go back to…so we came along."

"I'm…sorry…." That was all Toon Link could think to say, and then, the awkwardness becoming almost tangible, he left the deck and went down to help Lanky dip and stroke the mop properly.

* * *

It was now their fifth night in a row meeting up in the crow's nest to watch the sunset. Neither Captain Falcon nor Samus had planned it; they both just somehow felt drawn back to the place where they had made such a memorable connection with each other. Of course, Falcon wasn't stupid enough to try anything rash with the extremely independent woman, but their nightly ritual became the time of day they most looked forward to, a time when they could both unwind, sometimes in silence, but often chatting up a storm that would give the one they'd experienced four days ago a run for its money. If storms had money.

On this occasion, neither of them had said anything for a while; as usual, Samus only felt comfortable removing her helmet to allow the salty air to blow refreshingly through her face and hair, while the captain remained entirely suited, helmet and all. Samus had never asked why he never took it off; for some reason she just felt it wouldn't be proper.

"I've noticed you're not a fan of swimming," Falcon remarked, putting his hands behind his back and stretching out his legs most of the distance across the small platform.

Samus rolled her eyes. "How long is it going to be before you stop bringing that up?"

"I dunno." Falcon shrugged, secretly relishing this rare rhetorical victory. "Probably never."

An uncharacteristically mischievous smile crept across Samus's face. "You know," she said, "from what the professor's told us about the Serans and Spartans of Microsoft, when we get there, your suit's going to stand out like a circus clown in a board meeting."

"Hey!" Falcon's hands moved instinctively to his tight-fitting suit, as if he could protect it from the bounty hunter's verbal pinpricks. "You of all people should understand the sentimental and stylistic importance of a man's classy getup."

"Yes…a man's…" Samus had him right where she wanted him, and Falcon knew it as he realized where this was going. "Maybe the Microsians will finally relieve you of being the only person on the planet who can't tell the difference between a boy and a girl."

The captain winced from the memory back in Fourside, that fateful meeting when he had mistakenly assumed Samus to be a male bounty hunter like nearly all others he'd ever met. He sat there for several minutes trying to come up with a witty retort, but to no avail. He was about to call it a night on this near victory (but still humiliating defeat) when he spotted something across the water on the horizon beyond.

"Samus…look!"

They both stood and beheld the dark strip illuminated by the setting sun almost like a postcard photo. It was small, but there were a few tall ridges making its identity unmistakable.

"Land," Falcon muttered. " _Land…_ LAND, HO!"

He and Samus clambered quickly down the ladder and crashed into the captain's quarters, waking Tetra up with a start. Remarkably, she didn't groan or complain even once, but followed them out to view the long-awaited spectacle.

"Avast!" she said, amazed. "We've made it! The charts were right all along, and according the map…" She drew out a telescope and stretched it out to its maximum length, putting it to her eye.

"Yes; we're here. The Sony World. Or, to be precise, Shadow Moses Island."


	7. Chapter 5: Fallen Soldier

Chapter 5: Fallen Soldier

* * *

 **The Copyright Wars**

 **Battle of Delfino Island**

* * *

 _ **N**_ _intendo never stood a chance. Even with their feeble island-based defenses, compared to the combined Microsian and Sonian fleet, it was going to be about as difficult to take Delfino Island as winning a soccer game against a bunch of Lums from the Glade of Dreams. No, their victory was assured._

 _And it made Snake sick._

 _They advanced from the south like an artificial tidal wave. Most of them, of course, were from Sony's reserves: the sleek cobalt flying machines from Megaland; Snake and the rest of his elite squadron, FOXHOUND, in their armed helicopters; and the formation of fighter jets from Strangereal. A few Spartans accompanied them in a single gunship to oversee the operation—mostly to ensure their obligatory allies did their job and didn't try to defect. And far below, a few Rapturian subs—known as Bathyspheres—made their way quickly toward the languid shore like giant mechanical eyeballs, bearing their cargo of dreaded Splicers and Big Daddies._

 _The island resort, not at all used to such assaults, was woefully unprepared. They had marshalled what little defense they had along the southern beach: a myriad of Piantas armed with nothing but pineapples and durians; Nokis bearing sharpened seashells; Cataquacks—round blue creatures with tiny feet, huge green-and-yellow eyes, and large bills—poised to attack; and the enormous yellow caterpillars called Wigglers, their dangerous tempers on edge. Even a few diversely colored Yoshis joined the mix, ready to launch their spotted eggs._

 _It was a massacre. The FOXHOUND copters rained machine gun fire upon the vulnerable Piantas and Nokis; the fighter jets blasted Wigglers apart with missiles; the Spartan gunship's lasers seared through the Cataquacks like so many ducks lined up for the hunt. The Bathyspheres began to land and their pupil-like hatches opened, through which the ten-foot Big Daddies lumbered toward their opponents, clad in their thick diving suits with eerie, featureless faces behind their helmets, their yellow bulb-like eyes glowing as they drove their drill arms into the helpless Yoshis. The zombie-like Splicers, enhanced by the dangerous red substance known as ADAM, rushed forward and picked off any survivors with their decaying claws and sharp, ravenous teeth. The yellow beach soon became bleached with red._

 _Before they could move further inland toward Delfino Plaza and the rest of the plushy paradise, a wide yellow beam suddenly shot from the heart of the city, piercing and obliterating two Strangerealean jets at once. Snake's eyes followed the beam in alarm to the tall tower that was the source, the white arch curving over a shining golden bell._

 _It was the Shine Gate. What Snake had taken for a bell was actually a radiant, sun-shaped object with two beady black eyes like the Power Stars in the Mushroom Kingdom. It was Delfino Island's power source, and apparently it not only sustained the residents' sunny, peaceful lifestyle; it was their ultimate defense system._

 _Snake was impressed, but he knew what he had to do._

 _He reluctantly gave the command for FOXHOUND and the Megalandian vessels to make for the Shine Gate. They crossed above the gleaming city, the bright colors of the stucco buildings laid out beneath them like a perfect little collection of children's playing blocks, the cobblestone streets and fruit-laden markets deserted, the beautiful water fountains flowing in blissful ignorance of the chaos around them. All this would no doubt be reduced to rubble in a few short minutes once the Rapturians breached inland._

 _A desperate volley of eggs and drop-kicked durians rose from the rooftops. Snake had to give the islanders credit for their fearlessness in the face of certain doom. He didn't even slow down to destroy them; their efforts were futile, and though he knew they'd all soon be dead one way or another, he would avoid personally attending to innocent slaughter if he could help it._

 _"Take 'em down!" someone bellowed._

 _It was only when they had nearly reached the Shine Gate when Snake realized that its arch was not unoccupied. A line of helmeted Hammer Bros stood behind black cannons, which had already fired their first wave of Bullet Bills—sheepdog-sized bullets with vicious shark faces._

 _His men easily outmaneuvered these and the hail of wooden hammers that followed, but the copter to his right was caught off guard by another, much bigger cannon hidden behind a water tower. The Banzai Bill, about as large as a blimp, rocketed toward their formation. They took evasive action, but the bullet was just so huge that the copter in question was crushed by it, the propeller snapping and sending it rolling and smoking to the surface._

 _But the Spartans and Strangerealeans coming behind them made quick work of the Hammer Bros and their cannons with a rapid barrage of lasers and missiles. This left the smoking arch all but clear, except…_

 _Two Koopa Clown Cars, one much larger than the other, hovered protectively over the Shine Gate. Bowser and his son, Bowser Jr., held their ground even as Snake and his men were nearly upon them._

What are they thinking? _Snake wondered._ It's suicide.

 _Bowser and his smaller likeness grinned, and the elder spoke._

" _Welcome to Delfino Island, Sonian scum!"_

 _Out of nowhere, a swarm of Boos faded into being from all sides, their cackling chorus sending a pervasive chill in spite of the sunny sky. They simultaneously rushed the remaining copters, fighter jets, and gunship, creeping up behind the aircrafts' occupants, floating inside, and creating havoc from within. A few Spartans screamed as they fell a hundred feet onto the unforgiving stone below._

 _Snake swore as three Boos invited themselves into his own vessel. He ordered the pilot to maintain his course toward the Bowsers as he opened the door on his right side, the air rushing by in billowing torrents. He drew a flare from his pocket, lit it, and waved it back and forth, causing the Boos to retreat with ghostly cries of discomfort._

 _As the invaders engaged the Boos, Bowser and his son laughed._

" _You roaches might take the power of the Shine Sprites," he bellowed, "but that'll do you no good once we turn up the heat!" With that, the Clown Cars floated away, making a beeline for the location Bowser had clearly been referring to: Corona Mountain._

 _The electronic voice of the Spartan commander came over Snake's radio. "What does that mean?"_

 _Snake stroked his chin, watching them head up toward the craterous peak._

" _Corona Mountain is volcanic; I'm afraid if the Koopa's bark has any bite, he may have figured out a way to weaponize its superheated interior."_

 _The Spartan appeared to take a moment to consider Snake's words. "We can't risk it. Take the Robot Masters and go after them; we'll stay and destroy the Shine Gate."_

" _Yes, commander." Those wouldn't have been Snake's first choice of words had he the freedom to speak his mind, but he had no choice if he valued the safety of his own world._

 _The three remaining FOXHOUND copters rose up the steep rocky slope with the sleek cobalt airships, soon reaching the steaming crater at the peak. Snake saw Bowser Jr.'s Clown Car disappear into a wide lava tunnel, although it wasn't big enough for them to fly inside themselves._

 _They landed on a rocky outcropping safe from the steaming vents and stepped onto the sulfurous surface. Snake had a dozen FOXHOUND soldiers at his command, but the meat and potatoes of their force consisted of the thirty Robot Masters that disembarked from the Megalandian vessels. They were humanoid robots, all created by the famous Dr. Light with the intention of protecting the innocent. Most of their metal armor were various mixes of red, orange, and yellow—a fiery blend—though their shapes and sizes varied widely based on each of their unique talents._

 _The one who stood out among them was in blue armor, his arm cannon directing the others toward the lava tunnel, his boyish face devoid of emotion._

" _Ready for your orders, sir," Megaman said, as if he and Snake had never had anything but a purely professional relationship._

What has become of us? _Snake couldn't help thinking, the sadness welling up inside him all over again._ We used to be friends…but now we're all tools, to be used at the whim of the Master Chief.

 _Snake nodded, maintaining equal passiveness. "Let's go, then, soldier."_

 _The dark tunnel wound haphazardly down the mountain until they were at what appeared to be the very core, FOXHOUND's flashlights and several Robot Masters' abilities illuminating the way. It was hot, but Snake had expected no less; he had much greater sources of discomfort than the blistering heat._

 _At last the path opened out into a spacious central chamber. Snake had to give the Koopa props for presentation. The roughly circular room was covered in rugged brimstone with large splotches of bubbling lava. And as if that wasn't enough, the entire wall encircling it was composed of a sort of magmatic waterfall; one foul slip and your body would be melted like a marshmallow in a campfire. Bowser and his son awaited them in the middle, their Clown Cars parked on the opposite end. The Robot Masters filed into the room, each training their weapons on the two enemies._

 _Snake stepped forward. He hoped this didn't have to get any uglier than it already was._

" _You have nowhere to go, Koopa," he said. "What was your plan? Cause an eruption? Channel the energy into some kind of weapon?"_

 _Bowser just laughed again. "Frankly, scum, Delfino's a lost cause. I wouldn't care that much about flooding over its pathetic residents with lava, but it wouldn't really help us cream you, would it? No…I just thought you'd like to join us for a little family reunion of mine. Koopalings,_ attack!"

 _From the tunnel behind them and several others on the rocky ceiling, seven additional Koopa children joined the party: Larry with his sky-blue mohawk; Morton with his dark gray skin and arsenal of hammers; Wendy with her pink bow and golden bracelets; Iggy with his crazed, cross-eyed expression and weed-like sprout of green hair; Roy with his hot pink sunglasses and Bullet Bill bazooka; Lemmy with his spiky rainbow hair, balanced on his star-spangled bouncy ball with Bob-omb in hand; and Ludwig with his two Eintein-ish blue tufts and his single prominent tooth. All wielded wands of different colors, and all were eager to impress their papa._

 _Pandemonium ensued. Clusters of geometric magic spun across the room. Bob-ombs and Bullet Bills and golden bracelets flew through the air. Lemmy's bouncy ball rolled and rebounded. The very earth shook as Morton pounded the ground. Bowser joined the fight with claw swipes and bursts of fire, while Bowser Jr. whipped out his Magic Paintbrush and created colorful death trap portals that would transport unlucky wanderers directly into the lava walls._

 _But the Koopa family was not the only one with wild cards up its sleeves. While Snake and FOXHOUND struggled to fight back with hand to hand combat and occasional gunshots that were unlikely to hit such dynamic targets, Megaman and his Robot Masters were bred for elemental fights such as this. Among many others, adding to the conflict were Cut Man with snaps of his scissor head; Guts Man with his boulder-throwing; Heat Man with his spiraling rings of fire; Spark Man with his small electric spheres; Metal Man with his razor-edged throwing disks; Quick Man with his speedy strikes; Crash Man with his drill arms; and Hard Man with his detachable rocket fists._

 _Had their numbers been equal, it might have been an even fight. But the unfortunate truth was that Bowser's clan was far outnumbered. He roared as he watched his children fall, one by one, tossed unceremoniously into the lava like he himself had been by Mario so many times—only this time, there would be no coming back. In his fury, he shoved several Robot Masters into the magma at a time, ripping their mechanical heads off with his teeth and tearing out their core processors with his claws. The Megalandian beings had been reduced nearly by half by the time Bowser and Bowser Jr. had been hopelessly surrounded. They were the only Nintendonians left alive._

 _Snake stepped up to them. "Surrender now and you will be allowed to live."_

 _"No."_

 _But it hadn't been any of the fighters who had spoken. The Spartan Commander had entered the heart of Corona Mountain, flanked by two of his comrades. He approached the two beaten Koopas with obvious disdain._

 _"The Koopa King must be taught a lesson—one that he will never forget. Kill the youngling."_

 _Snake's eyes widened with horror; why were they requiring this of him? Any additional deaths would be completely unnecessary._

 _"Sir, I really don't think—"_

 _"Did I flinch, lieutenant? I said, execute the youngling…unless you'd like to discuss your failure with the Chief."_

 _Snake's face darkened as he was forced to accept the terrible reality: He had no say in this. He finally nodded to Guts Man, who grabbed Bowser Jr. effortlessly, hauling him toward the lava wall._

" _Papa!" Bowser Jr. squealed and struggled and cried._

" _Junior!" Bowser boomed, making to attack Guts Man but blocked off by ten other Robot Masters._

 _Guts Man wasted no time shoving the Koopa Kid into the lava, the Magic Paintbrush clattering onto the ground in his wake._

 _Bowser roared louder than he ever had, with mourning and unhindered rage in his voice. But then he hung his head, broken and defeated._

 _"Take him away," the commander said._

 _They filed out back up the lava tunnel, Snake bringing up the rear behind their prisoner._

 _"I'm sorry," Snake said quietly so only the Koopa could hear, knowing it wouldn't mean anything. He was right._

 _Bowser gave one last defiant snort. "No you're not….Not yet."_

* * *

There was nowhere for Pit or Quill to go, with a horde of angry robots behind them and one somehow even more dangerous figure barring their escape.

Pit couldn't believe it; Professor U. Reeka had supposedly been vanquished by Gadd along with his laboratory over a year ago. How could he still be alive? And more importantly, what was he going to do to them now that they'd seen one of his secret projects?

Reeka's grin seemed inhumanly wide, although to be fair, there wasn't much that was humane about the evil scientist to begin with.

"I hope you enjoyed your tour of my facility," Reeka hissed, "because it's the last thing you'll ever see."

"What are you doing here?" Quill asked, stalling for time while trying to work out a plan.

Reeka began pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back, appearing unconcerned about being unarmed in front of Pit's bow.

"The whole evil plan explanation thing is terribly cliché, I'm afraid…but just because you came such a long way to get here, I'll give you a dreadful little morsel of information before I kill you…just enough to cause your bodies to squirm in their watery graves."

Pit thought about surprising Reeka with a sudden Light Arrow, but then he saw Quill shake his head ever so slightly, reaching ever so slowly toward his mail pouch.

"This is Atari Island, almost at the dead center between the Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft Worlds. After my dear cousin destroyed my Wire Frame factory, I had a rather special experience that brought me to this place, which I decided to make my new base of operations. Over the past year, my travels have yielded some wonderful materials with which to construct these lovely bots of mine, which I call Robotic Assault Weapons—R.A.W., as opposed to my cousin's pathetic Robotic Operating Buddies.

"But best of all, that magnificent machine you see before you…" He gestured toward the giant machine that was being slowly disassembled by the R.A.W.s. "…is what they call in their world a 'Metal Gear.' It is rather like a walking fireworks launcher…fireworks that are a bit more _nuclear_ in nature, that is."

Reeka giggled and stopped pacing. "But enough chatter. My revenge on the Nintendo World must be delayed no longer by insipid, trespassing—"

Quill chose that moment to make his move. In one flourish of his winged arm, he flicked a trio of Deku Nuts at the monologuing maniac, which burst upon contact, stunning the professor and eliciting a squeaky scream.

"Now, Pit!"

Pit obliged, splitting his bow and diving forward, plunging both blades into Reeka's chest.

He held his position expectantly as Reeka stood for several seconds more, vibrating and immobilized by the Deku Nuts. But to Pit's surprise, when the nuts' effect wore off, the impaled body did not slide to the ground.

It remained standing.

Reeka laughed as Pit still held his twin blades in his target's chest. The scientist grabbed both halves of the Sacred Bow and wrenched then out, pushing Pit onto the ground. Both Smash Brothers watched with revolted amazement as the holes in the professor's body sealed themselves up with a colorful, gooey substance.

"I do have one thing to thank my cousin for," Reeka said. His body suddenly became a glob of liquid paint and sank into the ground. The puddle oozed across the narrow entrance, separating into several separate puddles. Then, the shiny brown matter rose from the ground once more, forming Reeka again as he had been in the center, but also two dripping brown replicas on each side. The magic paint in the clones molded itself to form sinister-looking guns in each pair of arms, the weapons also entirely composed of the goop.

 _What are those? Paintball guns?_ Pit quipped to himself in a vain attempt to assuage his fear.

"He has pushed me to my limits, forced me to outdo even myself; and by having me consumed by a Polluted Piranha created by my own Magic Paintbrush, he inadvertently made me immortal. And with that despair, I bid thee farewell, Smash Brothers!"

As one, the R.A.W.s discharged their lasers and the Reekas fired their paint guns, giving the heroes less than a second to act.

But this time, Pit had anticipated the incoming danger. He pulled Quill close and held up his fabled Mirror Shield, which not only reflected the projectiles, but reflected itself on all sides around the two targets, protecting them from all harm.

The R.A.W.s exploded and the Reekas were knocked over. Quill took this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of catching Reeka off guard to pull Pit with him past the real Reeka and into the open air.

"We must go… _now!"_

For once, Pit had no objections. They got off to a running start and then pushed off into the air, rising quickly above the palm trees and away from the black "egg sac" laboratory.

" _Kill them!"_ they heard Reeka's fading voice scream behind them, not daring to look back.

For a few seconds they thought they'd escaped, just like that. But then the whirring and subsequent laser beams shooting past them on both sides corrected that impression.

In spite of himself, Pit risked a backward glance and immediately regretted his decision, for in their pursuit were at least twenty R.A.W.s, propelled forward by rockets both underneath their bases and behind their torsos—a feature Gadd's R.O.B.s lacked. They were after the two escapees like a green and gold hornet's nest that had been felled with a baseball bat.

Then, as if that wasn't enough, the lasers were joined by missiles and machine gun fire. Pit could hear some of the bullets whistling literally right next to his ears; the only reason they hadn't been shot down immediately was that they'd gotten a decent head start.

And the best part: Ten of the R.A.W.s converged and meshed their machinery together like Transformers, forming a giant version of themselves with lasers as thick as Samus's Zero Laser, and missiles the size of small horses.

They flew as fast as they could, outmaneuvering nearly every shot, with only the occasional singed wing or pierced clothing. Pit yelled in excitement as they neared the ocean. They were going to make it. Against all odds, they were going to make it.

And then it happened. It wasn't even the Giant R.A.W. that inflicted the fatal wound; one of the smaller ones had crept around from above, using its superior boosters to surpass even the experienced flyers. It charged up a Gyro—a steel top with a deadly point—and launched it at its quarry.

Quill's eyes widened and he gasped as he looked down and found the tip of the Gyro piercing his chest. He flapped his wings harder, but his course had already been thrown off and there was no way he would recover enough to keep going. He managed to shout one line to his young companion before he fell.

"Pit…deliver the message at all costs!"

Then he plummeted, the air currents causing him to spiral erratically until he crashed onto the border between sand and ocean, his mission coming to an end mere feet from the finish line.

"QUILL!" Pit instinctively tilted to come back around and go to his friend. But the Giant R.A.W. and the others were so close that he couldn't risk it, and the Rito's last words seared themselves into his pulsing brain, instilling him with unwavering purpose even at such a crippling moment.

He looked one last time at Quill's crumpled body before diving away from Atari Island to gain more speed. The projectiles kept coming for a few more seconds, but he soon realized the R.A.W.s didn't dare venture past the shore for fear of running out of fuel and short-circuiting in the water. They swiveled and beeped angrily as the angel boy slipped out of their reach, their programmed consciences worried about how their master would receive this bit of bad news.

Pit's face was cold from wind and tears as he tore across the sea, dreading the prospect of spending another night—this time alone—at the pirate outpost where less than a day ago, he had made one of the greatest and most short-lived of friends.

* * *

With the destruction of Dedede's Castle, K. Rool's outpost, and most of the defending armies, the Smash Brothers had relocated their gathering place to Saffron City, where the newly constructed Pokémon Stadium served as a convenient location to discuss the ramifications of the recent attack.

Because they wanted to have some kind of game plan before taking their ideas to the entire body, the meeting was composed of only a select few leaders, among them Professor E. Gadd, Bowser, King Dedede, Kirby, Mario, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Marth, Link, Zelda, Mewtwo, Gary, Lance, and Princess Éclair. They were seated around a table that had been placed on the center of the stadium itself—the tabletop, of course, resembling a Pokéball.

To begin with, DK was furious. He had been doing his pushup routine on a peaceful morning in his cabin when all the while lives were being lost…and he hadn't been invited to join the fight. And the one responsible? Gadd.

"You can't just pick and choose which of us gets to help protect the Nintendo World, professor," he said, barely keeping his cool. Actually, to be perfectly honest, he wasn't keeping his cool at all. "What gives you the right to decide who's fit to fight what? If the Pokémon hadn't shown up when they did, we'd be facing a full-blown invasion right now!"

Gadd was unusually stern—the result of several sleepless nights and indescribable stress and sorrow for the losses they had sustained.

"In case you've forgotten, lad," he said, "I'm the leader of the Smash Brothers. I have _every_ right to make judgment calls during such downright nasty situations. You didn't see the tech the Microsians've got, young'un; if you or the Akaneians or Hylians had shown up, you'd have gotten blown to bits just the same as the rest."

DK folded his arms, fuming. "King K. Rool may have been my enemy, but he didn't deserve to die like that. He and many of his Kremlings were murdered in an unbalanced battle, and I blame you!" The Kong withheld mentioning that in truth, he really missed the crocodile; despite all of K. Rool's insane attempts to cause trouble for his family, he had been an integral part of the Kongs' world, just like the bitter core of a mango was an essential part to the juicy goodness around it. DK didn't know what they would do now without their nemesis to keep them on their toes, and besides that, he was a nemesis who had ultimately gone down a hero.

"I understand your frustration, Donkey Kong," Zelda said. "But the professor is right; swords and fists would be useless against their machines and guns. Even my magic—"

 _"Then why did Mario and Luigi get to go?"_

There it was: the second half of DK's anger. He and Mario went back even further than Bowser, Luigi, or Peach, and just because the plumber had a few power-ups and fireballs up his sleeve, that didn't make him any more formidable than the ape or anyone else.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted, DK," Gadd said rather testily. "Believe me, they didn't work out the way _any_ of us wanted."

There was a moment of silence, and then most people jumped as DK slammed his hand on the table and stood up. He glared at Gadd and left, slamming the door with ill-concealed contempt.

Gadd sighed. This was just what they needed: internal conflict while they were facing perhaps the most formidable foreign threat they'd ever encountered. The awkward silence was finally broken by the entrance of one of Gadd's R.O.B.s, which delivered its report in a Game & Watch-like voice.

"Status report on Patient 0128, L.O.G."

"Proceed."

"Patient suffered severe damage to head and internal hardware systems. We almost lost him, but we were able to sustain him on emergency power in sleep mode. We are hopeful that we may be able to restore his core processor with time, but for now he is straddling the line between life and death—electronically speaking."

Gadd's sullen look brightened just slightly. "That's excellent news. Thank you, R.O.B."

The R.O.B. took the professor's nod as an invitation to leave and rolled out of the stadium without another word.

Gadd turned to Bowser next. "Any progress with the prisoners?"

Bowser grunted and shook his head. "Those two Serans got their butts kicked by Mario pretty good, but even with their head injuries, they're being extraordinarily uncooperative."

Mario held out his gloved palm and caused a swirling fireball to ignite. "It's a-time we get some answers; Luigi and I can a-go have a word with them…."

"Yes, perhaps you're right," Gadd said. "They may be more receptive to you two than anyone else considering your recent encounter. But that still doesn't address our main concern…how are we going to respond to this attack?"

"I saw we stick it to 'em," Bowser growled. "I lost more Troopas than I care to count; they need to know we're the wrong world to mess with."

Several of those around the table nodded their assent, particularly those who had witnessed the attack.

"Still," Marth said, "if we do choose to launch a counterattack, it shall be the end of our peaceful negotiations with Microsoft—perhaps even with Sony as well."

"Those 'peaceful negotiations' ended when they done exploded my castle to bits and fried my soldiers like a buncha drumsticks." Dedede twirled his hammer angrily. "We can't just sit here an' hope they don't come back for seconds—and this time with even more mechanical monsters."

Princess Éclair nodded. "The King of Dreamland is right. We cannot wait for them to return; yet, if we declare war too hastily, it will surely bring destruction upon all of our southern islands as terribly as it did last time." She and the rest of the Waffle Kingdom had no clear memory of the Copyright Wars, but enough vestiges of its devastating destruction remained as a tangible reminder that the war had indeed taken its toll.

 _"I may have a solution."_

Everyone turned to Mewtwo, who communicated not through verbal speech, but telepathically.

 _"Before this happened, we were already planning on sending a party to investigate the other islands between here and Microsoft, were we not?"_

"Indeed we were," Gadd said.

 _"Though it is almost certain the Microsians will return for revenge in time, I believe we do have a window of time to work with. The Master Chief clearly knew our world's population had been weakened by Nightmare…but he hadn't counted on the strength of the Pokémon, almost all of which survived the war in the Battlefields."_

Lance nodded. "I think I see where Mewtwo's going with this. Chances are, they'll take some time to regroup and figure out how to get past our Pokémon armies so they don't get humiliated again like they were last time. So while we wait for _The King's Krystal_ to establish contact with Sony and for Pit and Quill to explore Atari Island, we can move forward with our investigation of Timber's Island and the Isle o' Hags."

 _"Precisely. Only, it would be wise to send a stronger force rather than a small party, considering these islands are more likely than not under Microsoft's control. We haven't heard from either of them since they joined us in the Battlefields, which leads me to believe this strike has been the culmination of years of planning, slowly working its way across the ocean toward our mainland."_

"By the way," Gary said, looking around the table. "Weren't there a few people here from that Isle o' Hags place? Where've they all gone off to?"

"Banjo & Kazooie are with _The King's Krystal,"_ Gadd said. "The shamans and the moles requested leave to return to their island soon after the ship left, feeling they should gather some intel for us in advance. They left using the magic of the Jinjos and took communicators with them, but I haven't heard back from them yet."

"Hm," was Gary's only response.

"One thing I still don't get," Link said. "Why did Microsoft attack our southeastern shore first? Wouldn't it have been faster to go directly from Microsoft to the Kongo Jungle?"

Bowser, who had considerable experience with military strategy, jumped on the question. "The way I see it, there are two possible explanations. One, they might have seen Dreamland and the Mushroom Kingdom as an ideal starting point before launching a wider assault across the rest of the continent, as opposed to basing themselves in a jungle or on a frozen mountain." He looked a bit uneasy as he went on. "Or two, they didn't come here directly from Microsoft at all—maybe from Timber's Island or Atari or even Sony."

This prospect seemed even more daunting than that of Microsoft's inevitable return; were their enemies already in control of every land except Nintendo? And if so, did they really have any hope of stopping Microsoft's expansion north?

"Either way," Gary said, "I agree with Mewtwo. The only way we'll know how far-reaching Microsoft's influence has become is by exploring all the islands and other worlds. I'll bet Red and the others are already almost at Sony, and Pit and Quill could easily be back here in a couple days. So we need to get ready to go to Timber's Island and the Isle o' Hags pronto with enough support so we can take them back from Microsoft if we have to."

"Agreed," Gadd said. "Only problem is…we're still pretty weak, even weaker after the invasion. We'll need some serious tech upgrades if we're gonna stand a chance against them."

"Would it not be wise to turn to the Federations and Lylatt for help?" Marth said.

"Yes…" Gadd's expression grew even more tired. "Believe me, lad, that's the first thing I thought of; but I've contacted all three of their governments, and I'm afraid they are all currently occupied with internal conflicts of their own. General Pepper at least said he would try to send help when he could, but he couldn't give me any definite timeframe due to the insurgent space pirates that have apparently been spawning all over the place…there, and in other galaxies as well."

 _"That's strange…"_ Mewtwo remarked.

No one spoke for a moment; they all felt the disappointment that came from their extraterrestrial allies' inability to aid them in their time of need.

"I did speak with Dr. Clash in Mute City," Gadd said in an effort to maintain positivity. "He offered to redesign the F-Zero racers he built for the Original 25 to be suitable for battle. I am putting together some Gaddgets as well…though they still won't be nearly enough. I'm afraid when it comes to technology, our world comes up rather short."

For the first time during the meeting, Luigi spoke, although he was somewhat loath to voice his idea. "There _is_ a-someone who could a-help us get better technology…but it a-might be hard to a-win their support since we put them in a-prison."

Bowser groaned and covered his face with a claw. "Oh, please not _them_ …I thought their company was hosed after that disastrous Fourside Tournament, anyway?"

"You'd be surprised how long a business can stay afloat on a few extra Coins even without its CEO," Gadd said. "I hate to admit it…but it's the best chance we've got. We must return to Fourside and contact the Wario Brothers."

* * *

Shadow Moses Island looked about as inviting as an abandoned Jurassic Park. It wasn't a particularly large island—quite small, in fact—yet it seemed to have a presence that would make a Moblin quiver on its hooves.

It was dark and almost barren, with gray boulders and tall, isolated pine trees covering most of what they could see from _The King's Krystal_. A conveniently thick mist stretched sullenly across the land like a wet blanket, obscuring most everything deeper into the island except for a protruding flat metal roof at the center. There might have been more land on the horizon behind the island, but it was too blurred by the gloomy shroud to make out.

"Looks like quite the vacation spot," Falco commented from the prow beside several others. Most everyone had come out on deck in the morning after they'd moored far enough offshore to be safe from whatever might be on the island. It was already overcast, but this place seemed to take gray to a whole new level. Tetra and Niko were back at the wheel, Samus and Captain Falcon still up in the crow's nest, and the five Mobians crowded at the very front.

Sonic turned to his friends. "Is this how you guys remember this place?"

Shadow shook his head, his arms folded. "None of us remember much about the Copyright Wars or even the Sony World as a whole except for Mobius itself. But I do seem to recall…didn't you come here on one of your missions during the war?"

"Yeah, I think so…." Sonic strained his mind, trying to bring back the details of what had happened here, but it was no use. It was as if there were an opaque white cloth covering almost everything besides the memories of his home and the very beginning and end of the war when he'd ended up in the Nintendo World.

"I do know we're not far from Mobius," Knuckles said, staring out at the gradient of the horizon. "Angel Island is just past the bay south of Shadow Moses. We're almost home."

"Home…" Tails sighed as he thought of the bright Mobian skies where he'd used to fly in his biplane, the _Tornado_ , admiring the green plains and the cheerful wildlife.

"Well," Amy said, leaning on the handle of her hammer and crossing her legs, "we'll be there soon enough. But first we have to figure out what's happened here. It looks like a pile of post-apocalyptic ruins."

As the ship approached the rocky beach, the island loomed above them like some kind of terrestrial monster, eager to consume any vestige of civilization that dared step foot on its shores. Finally, with only the wind and the waves filling the silence, they anchored and set out in several small boats, leaving only Niko and the remaining Kremlings behind to watch _The King's Krystal_. In a matter of just ten minutes, all 31 voyagers were standing together on the first solid ground they'd seen in almost two weeks.

Lanky yawned and stretched his disturbingly long arms. "Thank goodness; I thought I was gonna go loopy on that ship."

Diddy didn't bother pointing out to the orangutan that he was already loopy enough as he was. He put an arm around Dixie, who was brushing back her blond ponytails that were flapping in the wind.

"You all right?"

She nodded with a grin and hugged him. "Just brings back a lot of memories, you know? Crocodile Island…Gangplank Galleon… DK Isle…"

"We'll find out what happened to it," Diddy said, rubbing her back. "I promise."

"All right, all you jelly-legged landlubbers," Tetra called, getting their attention. "Here's how this is gonna work: Since none of you wanted to stay back with Niko and the crew—and personally, I don't blame you—we're heading into this place together. No one wanders off…understood?"

Lots of nodding and no objections.

"Good. Now let's see what this heap of dirt has to offer."

And with that, they set out, beginning with a fairly steep climb up the boulders until it leveled out and became more thickly forested with dark trees. They traveled more or less together, with several smaller clusters of individuals sticking close, such as the Ice Climber twins climbing casually with their hands held, and Peach, Perry, and Toadsworth carefully navigating their way up at the rear. But despite the wide range of physical prowess, Tetra made sure they were all up before they proceeded into the patchy forest.

The moist fog chilled Red's skin as he and his father followed the group toward the ominous metal roof they'd seen from the ship. He shivered and crossed his hands over his goosebump-covered arms.

"Have you been here before?" he asked Quentin.

"No…I have never made it out to either the Sony or Microsoft Worlds. There are many other islands throughout the sea where I have meditated and developed my Spirit Bond with the Pokémon over the years."

"Oh." Red wondered how his father could stay sane after so much isolation…but then again, he supposed Quentin had had the Pokémon to keep him company. Even so…he still didn't know why the man had never returned to Kanto. It was a question that nagged at the back of his mind perhaps more than any other, but he knew he would have to wait until his father deemed him ready.

The woods were unnaturally silent, as if even the birds and forest critters were bothered by the island's ominous history. Mr. Game & Watch and Prince Peasley walked side by side near the front, bickering about how Beanish delicacies measured up against G.W.'s charred black sausages. Then the latter stopped and unsheathed his rapier, pointing it at the gap through the trees.

"By the might of the Great Bean…look yonder, comrades!"

There it was. As the trees thinned out, the Nintendonians beheld the tall metal structure they'd spotted from the ship. It was a severe square shape, towering above them with rusted walls and climbing ivy like some kind of high-tech _Indiana Jones_ temple. Catwalks and metal crates and ladders lay abandoned around the walls and a faded helipad, behind which there was a large rectangular indent in the building that led to two garage-sized doors.

As they cautiously approached, the door slowly creaked open, perhaps from an automatic sensor.

"I see no way this could pos-sib-ly go wrong," G.W. said.

"I see no way you could possibly have a brain," Kazooie said.

Captain Falcon and Samus came up beside Tetra, who stood with uncertainty, never having seen such a place anywhere in the Great Sea.

"We'll handle this, Captain…if it's all the same to you."

Tetra nodded. "This looks to be a bit out of my depth. We'll let you techies take the lead on this one."

The two bounty hunters neared the entrance—only for it to abruptly slam shut again.

"What the…" Falcon noticed the edges of the sliding door were sparking intermittently. "Looks like it's just a faulty door."

Sure enough, within a few seconds the door slid open again.

"Come on!" Falcon ushered the party inside. Toadsworth yelled as the door shut once more behind him, nearly snagging his trousers like a guillotine.

They were in a dark corridor that branched off in opposite directions with similarly corroded metal surfaces and a few flickering fluorescent lights on the ceiling, although most of them were burnt out, leaving long stretches of nearly indecipherable shadow.

Unlike most of them, Meta Knight for one was not at all bothered by the darkness.

"Allow me," he said, spreading his bat wings and gliding ahead down the right hallway. No booby traps or hostiles appeared from anywhere, so the rest felt safe following in the Star Warrior's wake.

"What is this place?" Roy wondered out loud.

Banjo grabbed Kazooie's beak before she could utter another snarky remark. "I dunno; maybe some kind of bunker or industrial plant?"

They reached a point where a secondary hallway led a short ways to the right and up a few steps to a steel door. Meta Knight led them up, followed closely by the most tech-savvy among them (namely, Captain Falcon, Samus, and Falco). He tried the door and surprisingly found it unlocked, although it took Falcon's muscle-power to slowly wrench it open, the hinges squealing loudly and echoing throughout the building.

They filed inside and found the command center, with the windows looking out over the rest of the island and assorted technical instruments arrayed on numerous panels with worn swivel chairs scattered behind them. But these screens and switches and other devices were dull, cracked, and lifeless. Falcon doubted that any of them would still work.

What caught his attention were the dark stains on the ground, one particularly large one near the middle of the semicircular room.

"Is that…?" Ness paled.

"Blood," Falcon confirmed, crouching down to inspect it. "Must've been quite a tussle in here."

"Sonic, are you okay?" Amy placed a worried hand on Sonic's forehead. The blue hedgehog seemed to be almost painfully disoriented by the place.

"Something…familiar…Spartans…Master Chief…"

Samus made an executive decision. "Let's move on; there's nothing else to learn from this room. Whatever happened here must have occurred years ago—maybe decades."

And move on they did. For another half hour, they slowly made their way around the facility, finding only dusty storage rooms filled with empty crates, closets with cleaning supplies, and a few rooms with long metal tables that appeared to have been made for chemical research and mechanical assembly. Finally, a door on the left took them into a huge central chamber—one fit to house jets and tanks, although that was not what they found inside.

It was much like a hangar, with a high ceiling and unattractive, unadorned floors and walls. Like other areas, it contained any number of empty crates, but it also had some larger machinery—power tools and wrenches and drills and even some forklifts, stacks of pallets and clusters of nuclear hazard barrels, and two large cranes whose extensions could no doubt reach the ceiling. And then there was the thing in the middle.

A big metal monster was how most of the Nintendonians would describe it. Those who knew a little more might have labeled it as some type of battle mech, for it happened to look almost exactly the same as the one Pit and Quill found in Professor U. Reeka's secret lab. Only, this Metal Gear was clearly past its prime, pieces missing, metal plating rusted and crumpled and ill-fitting.

"What _is_ that?" Peach asked, voicing all of their thoughts.

But they had no further time to ponder her question, for at that moment, a small metal ball rolled into their midst, beeping and flashing red at a faster and faster rate.

Captain Falcon didn't know exactly what it was, but he could pretty well guess.

"Get away!"

He grabbed the grenade and hurled it away. One second later, it exploded, sending sparks raining from the ceiling and metal crossbeams tumbling toward the ground. Falcon rolled forward to evade the falling objects, while the rest of them backed toward the door.

Just when he thought he was safe, he heard the blast of rifle fire, the bullets whirring past him like kamikaze hornets. He dived behind a cluster of barrels and peered around the corner.

"Show yourself!" he shouted.

There was a perplexing silence for several seconds…and then the captain found himself kicked to the floor with a gun pointing at his head. He looked up and beheld his assailant.

The man was as weathered as Quentin, although clearly quite a bit younger. His dark brown beard and hair surrounded his leathery face like a poorly made mask, his muscled camo suit suggesting a physical fitness equal to Falcon's own. He clutched the rifle in his hands with the tension of one who knew too well how to use it, and was too familiar with what it was capable of. His iron-gray eyes were as callous as any armor.

"You are not welcome here," Solid Snake spat with a slightly Russian accent.

"Yeah?" Falcon panted. "Well, your gun isn't welcome near my face." He extended his hunched knees, kicking Snake in the chest and sending him backward, though he was too well built to be knocked over entirely. The soldier threw his gun to the side (to Falcon's surprise), but then lunged at him with his fists.

They engaged in rapid, intense close combat, each demonstrating a mastery of multiple martial arts with their expertly timed jabs, kicks, and dodges. Captain Falcon was soon sweating; he hadn't fought someone hand-to-hand with this much skill since Samurai Goroh. And even then….

Behind the large pile of fallen debris, the heroes watched with mixed awe and alarm.

"Oh, my…somebody please do something!" Toadsworth cried, worried for Captain Falcon.

But Falco shook his head, standing beside Samus. "They're moving too fast for any of us to have a good shot without the risk of hitting Falcon. He's on his own unless he can somehow get them apart from each other."

Falcon back-flipped away several times in a row in an attempt to do just that, but Snake was onto him like a cobra on a fleeing vole. He snatched the bounty hunter by the nape of the neck mid-flip, flung Falcon's body over his head, and slammed it hard onto the metal ground, following up with a series of quick punches to the gut.

Falcon's head ached inside his helmet, along with most of the rest of his body. He decided it was time to bring out the heavy artillery.

"Falcon Kick!"

He slid on a fiery trail created by his foot, striking Snake in the face and speeding far enough away to put himself at a safe distance. Or so he thought.

Snake quickly recovered from Falcon's kick (although it took effort to ignore the sting of the lingering flames) and balanced a remote-controlled missile launcher on his shoulder, aiming the gun at Falcon's figure and firing.

The smart rocket flew just over Falcon's head as he dived toward the ground. He rolled and jumped behind a pile of crates, recalling a similar experience against Samus in Fourside Colosseum. The resulting blast sent shrapnel in almost every direction, but he remained safe behind whatever remained of his cover.

He leapt through the smoke and drove his knee into Snake's chest, sending the man spinning through the air onto the ground a short ways away. This time, the soldier didn't get back up.

Captain Falcon smirked as he stepped toward his fallen opponent. "Well fought, buddy. I'd imagine you might even make a decent tournament fighter back in Nintendo. But the game's up."

He was about to knock Snake unconscious with a final kick to the head, but when he was just a few steps away, the ground beneath him suddenly exploded.

The landmine left Falcon in even worse shape than Snake had been as a recipient of the Smasher's Knee of Justice. He thrashed on the ground in an effort to put out the flames that had engulfed him, the flickering red darts haphazardly searing his body until he finally extinguished the last of them, lying on the ground in exhaustion.

Snake slowly stepped up to Falcon, but he wasn't grinning at all. He drew a pistol and pointed it at the bounty hunter's head.

Samus's Charge Shot sent him to the ground in a similar state as his opponent, both men groaning. While Peach ran up to Falcon to administer a healing turnip remedy, Snake found himself pulled at the neck by Samus's Grappler Beam until the two of them were literally face to face (or face to helmet at any rate), the electric blue cord strangling its captive.

"Why are you trying to kill us?" Samus demanded.

Snake's response came in choking spurts. "Go…to…Hell!"

"Hold the phone," Sonic said, dashing up to Snake with the other Mobians and peering closely at his face. "I think I remember now…this is Solid Snake! We used to work together during the Copyright Wars…until…"

"Until…Master...Chief…"

Samus decided to relinquish her hold, allowing him to drop to the floor with her arm cannon pointed at his head. "Talk."

Snake breathed heavily, staring at the Mobians. "Sonic…? Is it really you? What are you doing with these…" He glanced at the rest. "…murderers?"

"Murderers?" Falco joined the huddle of peering Nintendonians. "You're the one who chucked a grenade at us and tried to blow our friend's brains out!"

"Snake," Sonic said with a concerned expression. "These aren't Microsians. You're not in your right mind. We're with Nintendo's heroes. They've come to help us set things right."

Snake lay and breathed for a long while, looking from one face to the next. His eyes slowly began to clear, as if there had been a dark haze overshadowing them until now. When he next spoke, he seemed much more subdued—even ashamed.

"Forgive me…Sonic is right. I have been holed up here for so long…so many years…that I've forgotten the difference between my friends and my enemies." He looked at Samus. "Although it's unlikely your people would see me the same way."

Samus slowly lowered her gun, sensing the danger was over. "Why would we be your enemy?"

Snake blinked, uncomprehending at first. "You mean you don't remember?" He shook his head, as if to dislodge his confusion. "Of course you don't. Almost no one does these days…"

"It's all coming back," Sonic said, snapping his finger. "The heroes of Sony undertook a covert mission to Shadow Moses Island during the Copyright Wars; our objective was to take it back from the Microsians, who had just overrun it. We made it all the way to the command center, but then Master Chief came and…" He looked down at Snake sadly. "…and he killed one of our friends."

"That was the turning point in the war," Snake said, picking up where his fellow Sonian had left off. "Master Chief threatened to destroy our homes and everyone we cared about unless we combined forces with them against Nintendo. We had no choice…" He shuddered from the returning memories that pierced him with greater coldness than any icicle. "…but still, we did terrible things to your world. If it hadn't been for those shape creatures that came at the last moment, the Nintendo World would likely be under Microsian control now."

Meta Knight chose to set aside the curious detail about the "shape creatures" and spoke his mind. "So the war ended in a truce; everyone went back to their homes except for Sonic and his friends; and you chose to remain in this dark realm alone?"

"You cannot understand…" Snake clenched his fists and tears began to streak from his tightened eyes. "After what we did…what _I_ made us do…I could never face my people again. I was no better than Master Chief, slaying innocents for no justifiable purpose. I exiled myself here to atone for my crimes…to ensure I could never hurt anyone again…."

"You're wrong, Snake." Sonic knelt down beside the man so they were eye-to-eye. "Everything you did…everything _we_ did…was to protect those we loved. We had no choice; the Microsians just used us as tools to satisfy their lust for world conquest."

"It's true," Diddy said, reflecting on everything that had happened to his former island home. "The real enemy is Microsoft; just because they forced us to fight each other doesn't make you responsible." He extended a hairy hand toward Snake. The man hesitated, as if repulsed by the idea of his own forgiveness, but finally took it. Diddy grinned. "As far as I'm concerned, we're on the same side. And now that we've found you, you can help us do whatever it takes to stop Master Chief once and for all."

However inappropriate it might have been at the moment, the Kongs erupted into a chorus of simian cheers at Diddy's words.

"Let's go blast their metal butts off!" Conker squeaked, waving his machine gun in the air and accidentally shooting a few rounds into the ceiling. They ricocheted and sped across the hangar, eliciting a slightly apologetic look from the squirrel.

Snake thought long and hard about what the newcomers had said. Could this really be happening? Had Nintendo sent its best not to exact vengeance, but to extend the hand of friendship? Was it possible that everything wrong with his world could finally be fixed? It was hard for him to believe…but it was the first shred of hope he'd had in years, and he clung onto it like his last lifeline in spite of the layers and layers of hardened distrust he'd accumulated overtime. Sonic's presence had helped to break through it like a hot knife of promise through his dense crust of skepticism. He nodded.

"Very well. I will help you." He allowed Diddy to help pull him to his feet. "But we are not ready to face Microsoft yet."

"How do we get ready, then?" Banjo asked.

For the first time since the day he lost Meryl, Snake's mouth curved into the faintest inkling of a smile. "First, we must recruit. You Nintendonians think you are the only ones with a team of heroes? It's time…that the Sonian All-Stars reunite once more."


	8. Chapter 6: All-Stars Aligned

Chapter 6: All-Stars Aligned

* * *

 _ **M**_ aster Chief sat inside his personal chamber in New Alexandria, mulling over the events of the past few days. In spite of his careful calculations, their plan to take Dreamland had failed, and he'd decided someone would have to pay for it.

From the thirtieth floor of his futuristic tower, he watched the sleek dark chrome of the rest of the enormous city, laid out before him like a set of metal Legos. The sky here was never light blue during the day; it alternated between a saturated yellow-orange and an empty midnight blue. Airships and hover cars floated about their business just as grounded vehicles wove their way between the skyscrapers of Reach's capital, eclipsed by the translucent flashes of advertising holograms and screens. A few of the taller structures featured interesting ring shapes, as if they were hoops for some kind of space Quidditch. It was a glorious place—one that had never thrived more than it did now.

His quarters by comparison were remarkably simple: a metal desk; white halogen lights; a small bunk; a closet for his suit, although no one ever saw him without it.

He leaned over the desk and made the call on his handheld communicator, which resembled a black radio with a bright blue screen, the wavelengths visually representing the sound waves of the recipient's voice.

"Chief," the voice said, garbled enough by the great distance of the call to make the electronic sounds come out understandable, but not recognizable.

"You have much to answer for, Agent Alpha. The purpose of your infiltrating the Nintendonian ranks was to give us a precise knowledge of their strength…yet you made no mention of the considerable power of their Pokémon regiment."

"Yes, Chief, allow me to explain," the voice said hurriedly. "You see, while my time with the Smash Brothers has taught me much, there are evidently some things I was not made aware of. I truly thought they would be all but defenseless with only their wooden toys and pitiful magic tricks to protect—"

"Yes…evidently you were ignorant of a great deal. Yet you caused our first open operation since the Copyright Wars to fail…a mistake that I cannot afford to excuse."

"I understand, Chief; please, give me another chance and I—"

"Against my better judgment, Alpha, you will get your second chance. In spite of your incompetence, you do still occupy a position among their ranks that may yet be of use to us. Be grateful for your luck…and know that such mercy will not be extended again."

"Yes, Chief, and I—"

"Now, tell me about their little voyage… _The King's Krystal._ What is their status?"

"I was about to tell you the good news, Chief. They have reached the Sony World, and will soon begin forging alliances in preparation for coming to us and our colonies."

"That _is_ good news. Dreamland was a minor setback, but otherwise everything has gone according to plan. The Great Moon Deity will be pleased with our progress. In the meantime, keep me notified on all their dealings. Make sure none suspect our welcome party that will be awaiting them. Do this, and you will receive what you desired. His head will be yours for the taking."

"Yes, Chief. It will be done."

Master Chief ended the transmission and turned back to the open window, the city lights reflecting off his amber visor.

* * *

Marcus Fenix spat on the floor of his cell. "Forget it, toilet travelers. We ain't tellin' you nothin'."

Mario and Luigi stood on the other side of the bars facing the two COG soldiers in the Fourside prison. The cell's occupants were both seated on a stone bench, looking bored out of their minds.

The red-capped hero was about to ignite a fireball to persuade Fenix otherwise, but Luigi put a hand on his brother's wrist.

"We're not a-here to interrogate, Mario…or to a-torture."

Fenix smirked. "Yeah, and I'm not here to play good cop, bad cop; you might as well leave us and wait for your world to crumble."

Luigi faced the prisoners. "It's not like a-that…we just want to understand a-why you and your a-men attacked us."

"Again with the innocent act. I already told you; we came for unfinished Copyright Wars business, to clean up the mess your people left across the entire planet."

"What a-mess?" Mario asked.

Marcus refused to grace them with an answer, his features fixed in an expression of bitter disgust. His companion, Dominic, however, looked up at his captors and seemed to realize they truly didn't know what was going on.

"Marcus, I think they really don't remember; they wouldn't be the first ones. We should at least remind them what they did to us."

"Hmph." Fenix turned away, then stood and went off to the corner of the cell, evidently done talking with the plumbers.

Dominic fixed the Mario Brothers with a hard stare. "You Nintendonians have always seen yourselves as being on higher ground than everyone else—better than us, better than Sony. The Copyright Wars showed just how far that pride was willing to go before snapping. No doubt you think we're some villainous invaders just out for revenge, that even now you believe you're morally superior to us."

Mario and Luigi said nothing. He was right; they had always assumed Microsoft had been in the wrong during the Copyright Wars. But they'd forgotten everything. Was it possible that they could be misinformed? Could the war have actually been their fault? In any case, they let their silence encourage Dominic to keep speaking while he was still willing.

"We weren't always enemies; our worlds used to get along almost as well as your kingdoms get along within your own land. But that all changed when the dispute arose over the islands between our worlds. Timber's Island; DK Isle; the Isle o' Hags; even a couple areas of our own mainland fell under the argument of ownership. The obvious answer, of course, was to let each land choose for itself whether it would remain loyal to Nintendo or Microsoft. All but the Kongs chose to be with us…but you Nintendonians wouldn't have it. You sent your armies and forcibly took these regions back, then expected us to just accept it and move on.

"Well, we wouldn't stand for it. We fought back. We took back the Enchanted Kingdom and the Carrington Institute on our own continent, and under the direction of the Master Chief, we crippled your armies so you could never threaten us again. Knowing you would be difficult to defeat alone, we enlisted Sony to our cause…and we would've won. But then, that last battle in the Kongo Jungle…you unleashed some kind of monster on us that devastated our men and forced us to surrender. We signed a truce—at the point of your guns. All the islands became yours and we were all required to return to our own mainlands.

"But apparently, that wasn't enough for you. Just a couple years ago, you began sending that same monster at us again, and this time it wasn't to military targets. You massacred our towns; cities; innocent civilians; men; women; children. We had no choice but to retaliate to protect our world. And now you Nintendonians are upset that we've taken back what's ours and are determined to protect ourselves from your armies—which were conveniently gathered on the beach where you could've easily launched another attack on our islands. Maybe some of you are clueless in all this, but I have a hard time believing there aren't at least some of your leaders who've been plotting this all along."

Mario and Luigi were taken aback. This was a lot to take in. Mario, for one, couldn't believe the half of it, and he was about to make it known when Luigi gave him a meaningful look and shook his head.

"Thank you," Luigi said. "We'll discuss a-this with our leaders. You'll be well taken a-care of while we a-sort all this out."

Fenix snorted as they turned and left.

In another room, Professor E. Gadd heard every word of Dominic's tale on his communicator. He stroked his chin.

"Interesting," he said. "Very interesting indeed…."

* * *

In another cell, a very different conversation was taking place.

"Why should we help a-you?" Wario chortled. "You Smash a-Brothers've kept us here for over a year just for making a living."

"Yeah," Waluigi said.

They jumped back and cried with fright as the ape leapt at the bars and banged his fists on them, rattling the entire room.

"You'll help us because you're half the reason Master Hand got as far as he did. Most of those who died in the Battle of Fourside would've survived if you and your bumbling brother hadn't—"

DK's words were interrupted by a particularly insulting emission of flatulence on the part of Mario's alter-ego. Wario sighed with satisfaction, while Waluigi plugged his nose, groaned, and fainted on his cot.

DK and Bowser were unaffected by the stench, the former being a monkey of many jungle odors, the latter having made a land of fire and brimstone his home. Bowser took a threatening step forward, his mouth beginning to glow.

"Or," he said," you'll help us because you value the hair on your blubbery behind. Unless you prefer your flesh medium-well?"

"Er—" Wario began to stutter as Gadd entered the room.

"That's enough, boys. I'll take it from here."

DK and Bowser glared at the two swindlers and grumbled as they stepped back to allow the professor to take the forefront.

Gadd chuckled, waving his hand over his nose. "Whoo-whee! Gadzooks! Stinkin' up a storm like always, I see. Well, lad, once your twig of a brother comes to, I've got a proposition for you. One that involves…money."

"Wha?" Waluigi sat up in an instant, the sound of the lucrative word acting as an antidote to any putridness that might have choked his lungs.

"You see, the Smash Brothers are in a bit of a fix; we're going up against some baddies with gadgets we've never seen before. Some of them, I'll admit, are beyond even my genius inventions."

"Get to the point, dwarf man," Wario said.

"Indeed. Well, here's my proposal: You supply us with WarioWare's resources and greatest minds to arm us against Microsoft's minions, and in return, you will receive not only your freedom, but a handsome monetary reward."

Wario picked his rear absent-mindedly, although the prospect of money did light something in his eyes. "Uh, just one problem. WarioWare doesn't make a-weapons; it's a toys and tech a-business."

"Yes," Gadd said. "However, I'm confident we can convert your tech into workable weaponry…perhaps even enough to give us a fighting chance against the Master Chief."

"Hmm…" Wario pretended to consider refusing the offer, as if he and his brother had better things to do than earn both their freedom and some cash with one simple favor. "It'll cost you—both for the manufacturing and my a-fee. Two million Coins."

"Two million? Hardly. More like twenty thousand."

"One million."

"Fifty thousand."

"Half a million."

"A hundred thousand."

"Three hundred thousand."

"A hundred fifty thousand."

"Two hundred thousand."

"Fifty thousand plus all the treasure in my mansion."

Wario's mouth dropped; he'd heard stories of the riches Luigi had found in that haunted manor. And it would all be his.

"It's a deal." He reached through the bars and grasped Gadd's hand with the same fingers he'd just been using in other less savory places. Gadd resisted the urge to pull his hand away from the abhorrent appendage, forcing a smile.

"Very good, then. You will be provided a communicator and a vehicle to return to your corporate building…and an escort, should you get any loopy ideas about turning tail on your end of the bargain."

Wario grinned uneasily, beginning to sweat. "Ha…of a-course. When do we a-start?"

"Tonight. I will have your escort come by after your dinner and take you there, and then we'll see what your company has to offer. Until then."

Gadd, DK, and Bowser left the room and walked down the drab hallway toward the exit.

"DK, I know you want to see some more action, so you'll be their escort. Is that agreeable?"

The Kong just nodded, still too angry with Gadd about what happened in Dreamland to speak to him directly.

"About the mansion…" Bowser wasn't sure how to break it to the professor. "You know all the treasure in it's been cleared out for ages, right?"

Gadd gave a toothy grin. "Yep."

* * *

The following day, Pit returned to Dreamland, bloody and bruised and broken. Princess Éclair had his wounds attended to immediately by her Waffle Toad medics, who used liquids and powders that looked suspiciously like syrup and sugar. He was housed in Bowser's Castle for most of the day, but the sweet medicine seemed to work incredibly well, for by the evening he was ready to meet with the Smash Brothers at the Pokémon Stadium to be debriefed.

With great difficulty, he reported on his and Quill's journey: their scuffle on the pirate outpost; their arrival on Atari Island; the strange black diamond that covered most of it; Professor U. Reeka's lab and R.A.W.s and Metal Gear project; his survival and new viscous body; and finally, their perilous escape attempt, and Quill's death at the hands of Reeka's murderous robots. By the time he reached the end, he was in tears once more.

Zelda went over and put a consoling hand on the angel's. "Quill was a great man; I have never been to the Great Sea myself, but it is connected with Hyrule in a way we do not fully understand. All of our people will mourn his loss with the Ritos…but you, Pit, performed heroically, and he would be proud of who you've become."

"This is disturbing news indeed," Gadd mused. He turned to the individual whom he'd specially called to this meeting. "What do you make of this?"

Pacman stood, his round yellow body towering all of four feet, but his pie-slice-shaped mouth making up for what he lacked in height with almost unsettling width.

"It's a good thing I'm here, professor. Your intuition was well placed; Atari Island is, indeed, my homeland."

A series of muttering rumbled around the Pokéball-shaped table at this revelation. Most of them knew Pacman wasn't native to the Nintendo World, but none except Gadd had guessed he hailed from Atari itself. And the only reason Gadd had come to this conclusion was that he had extensively studied the ancient tome with the map of Smash Planet, and a part of it had connected a yellow being described much like Pacman as one of the residents of this most ancient of worlds.

"What can you tell us?" Gadd asked.

"Not much, I'm afraid. Like the rest of us, I've forgotten basically everything about the Copyright Wars…but I do remember Atari to be very, _very_ different from any other world. The best way I can describe it is that it's kind of like what Mario and the others experienced when they went to that Dimension Conflux…and as for Reeka's lab, I don't remember anything like that ever being there at all."

"Thank you." Gadd rubbed his eyes behind his swirling lenses with fatigue. "This seems impossible…Ulysses Reeka is dead. Yet I trust Pit; he must have found some way to survive that Polluted Piranha and the factory's explosion. Yes?"

Bomberman, who had been sitting next to Pacman with his round pink hand raised, bouncing up and down, began waving his white spaghetti arms in a serious of methodical motions. Pacman, perhaps his closest friend in the Nintendo World, interpreted.  
"He says he's dealt with all kinds of explosions. It's possible Reeka might have escaped underground with the Polluted Piranha where he'd be safe from the blast, then somehow the creature spit him out all the way on Atari."

"You may be right, lad," Gadd said. "I don't know what to make of all this…except that with both my cousin and Microsoft on our plate, time is of the greatest essence. I've yet to hear anything from Humba, Mumbo, Bottles, or Jam-Jars on the Isle o' Hags, which leads me to believe something must have gone wrong. We must expedite preparations for our island expedition, and as soon as WarioWare has finished its work, we'll be off."

"Fenix told us that a-Microsoft has already taken a-back the islands," Mario reminded the council. "That a-means this won't just a-be a casual visit."

 _"It will be a war,"_ Mewtwo finished.

* * *

The green slopes of Mobius were just ahead. With Snake in tow, they had crossed the large bay separating Shadow Moses Island from the Sony mainland, and now that they were here, the five Mobians could hardly believe they were home—after all this time.

They anchored just offshore and rowed up to the land, which was covered in healthy, verdant grass up to the very edge of the water. Again, Niko stayed behind with the Kremling crew. None of them minded this duty; in fact, the first mate felt quite empowered and important with the responsibility of supervising _The King's Krystal_ , while K. Rool's former henchmen were grateful for not having to deal with whatever trouble might await the heroes in this new world.

Sonic, Shadow, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy were the first to disembark, taking in the familiar sights of wispy white clouds, rolling emerald hills, blocky mountains, and sparkling streams and lakes. It smelled of fresh rain, the dew on each blade of grass caressing their feet like old friends long parted. In the distance, an enormous island hovered hundreds of feet in the sky—Angel Island, sanctuary of the Chaos Emeralds.

Sonic turned to Snake. "It's been so long…d'you know anything about what's changed since the war ended?"

But the hardened soldier shook his head. "Like I have been saying, I isolated myself on Shadow Moses ever since that disgraceful time. All I know is Microsoft has no foothold here any longer; these are independent nations. How unified they are between kingdoms is anyone's guess."

Knuckles pointed up at the floating island. "That's Angel Island. If we want to find whoever's in charge around here these days, we'll find them there."

"Let's get on with it, then." Shadow was already a dozen yards ahead before their conversation finished, impatient as always.

The heroes followed the Mobians as a single body into the heartland of Mobius, looking for all the world like the queerest of tourist groups. They passed by a rich ecosystem of not only trees and other plant life, but jittery squirrels and nibbling rabbits and twittering birds. Sonic well remembered the many times he and his friends had had to save these benign creatures from the power-hungry Dr. Eggman and his nefarious schemes. It was good to see that at least for now, Mobius seemed free of such threats. His world was as it should be: full of life, full of hope.

Finally, they reached a point where Angel Island loomed almost directly above them, its rocky base jutting downward like an earthen iceberg.

Falco stared up at the island, wishing he had his Sky Claw. "Now what?"

"Normally Sonic and I'll take the _Tornado_ up to the island," Tails said.

Tetra looked out at the thirty-plus party. "Yeah…that's not gonna happen. A few of us can fly on our own, but we're not all gonna fit on your cute little biplane. No offense."

"None taken." Sonic began moving from rock cluster to rock cluster, clearly searching for something. "It's been so long…can't even remember where it is…."

"Found it!" Amy stood beside a narrow crevice that looked about as innocent as a bottomless hole to Wonderland.

"Great!" Sonic turned to the rest of the group. "Nintendo's not the only world with secret portals. This'll take us right up to where we need to go."

Without further ado, he and his four furry friends proceeded into the dark crevice, vanishing from sight and sound.

Popo pointed at the hole and then up at the floating island, as if asking an unspoken question of logic.

Snake noticed the Ice Climber's befuddlement.

"Don't ask," he said, then crawled inside.

One by one, they ducked or crawled or rolled or wiggled into the gap. Chunky Kong was stuck for a solid minute until the other Kongs were able to stuff him through like an overfilled suitcase.

Finally, Diddy Kong stepped inside last. He wasn't surrounded by darkness for more than half a second before he came out into a beautiful vista atop the island: a glistening pool below a pristine waterfall; a majestic 360-degree view of what was surely all of Mobius, most of it bright green with some mountainous, aquatic, forested, even volcanic regions here and there; and best of all, a magnificent rainbow that arched right over the island, glittering like a kaleidoscopic cave of Golden Bananas. It was almost unreal.

They were all so caught up by this spectacular sight that they didn't notice the cream-colored rabbit with an orange dress walk up to them, her big topaz eyes suggesting an intelligence equal to that of the other Mobians rather than that of the wild critters.

"Sonic…Tails…Amy…it _is_ you! Oh my gosh!"

Cream the Rabbit rushed up to her friends and embraced each of them in turn (except Shadow; he didn't do hugs).

Sonic grinned. "It's so good to see you, Cream. How've you been? What's been going on here since we left?"

She shrugged. "Nothing much. Tikal's been guarding the Emeralds in Knuckle's absence. Things have been pretty chill…but we've missed you so much!"

It was then that another Mobian made his appearance. Big the Cat was more or less exactly what his name described: a big purple cat with long ears, sandals, and a gold belt. He carried about him a teddy bear presence similar to Chunky Kong—strong, but soft. And his deep voice wasn't too far off from the gorilla's, either.

"Friends!" He lumbered forward and encircled all five lost Mobians at once (not even Shadow escaped this time), squeezing them tighter than he realized, not even noticing his best friend, Froggy, jump off his head onto the ground with a "ribbit."

Sonic gasped for air when Big finally let go. "Thanks, Big. I guess we've had that coming for a long time, huh?"

"Froggy, come back!" Big had already become distracted by the frog, who playfully hopped away from him until it was sure it had regained the cat's attention and returned to its post on Big's head.

Cream found herself awestruck by the colorful assortment of Nintendonians who'd come along, plus Solid Snake. "So who are all your friends? And why's _he_ here?" She clearly wasn't overly fond of the FOXHOUND leader, a sentiment Snake feared would be shared by all who remembered the Copyright Wars in any detail.

"We will explain everything," Shadow said. "But first, take us to Tikal. There is much to be done."

Sonic sighed. Typical Shadow: cutting off long-deserved reunions to get right back to business.

Cream nodded. "Follow us."

Big and Cream led the voyagers around the side of the waterfall into a tunnel that delved beneath the cliff. They found themselves sprinkled by dripping rocks and jets of spray that occasionally penetrated small holes in the uneven ceiling, but somehow, even though they were shut off from the sun, they could clearly see their way through.

"Reminds you a lot of Crystal Caves, doesn't it?" Tiny Kong commented.

"Yeah…" Diddy was entranced by the sparkling drops that looked like diamonds in the rough. But where was the light coming from?

Nana, on the other hand, wasn't as impressed. "It would look better frozen, in my opinion."

At length, the tunnel opened out into a spacious cave, with rocky steps that led up to a pool in the center. In the middle of the pool, the individual everyone assumed was Tikal sat on a rock with her eyes closed, meditating. Being an echidna, she resembled Knuckles in many ways, but her skin was a soft salmon; her clothing consisting of a tribal circlet, woven dress, and sandals; and her expression one of utter serenity.

No one had to speak a single word, for as soon as they entered the cave, her eyes sprung open, and she stood and walked gracefully down the steps to meet them.

"At last you have returned. Sonic; Tails; Knuckles; Shadow; Amy; welcome home."

Being several thousand years older than the rest of the Mobians (although she retained her youthful appearance), Tikal's relationship with them was a bit different, though still congenial. She had amassed the wisdom of many centuries, after all.

"It's good to be back," Sonic said.

Tikal smiled. "And I am not the only one glad to see you."

A crowd of small turquoise creatures began popping out of various crevices, chittering the word "Chao" as if they were some adorable species of Pokémon. Their big black eyes, yellow orb-like limbs, and tiny butterfly wings were enough to melt Peach's heart. She disregarded all regal propriety and leaned down, laughing as the gentle creatures came up to her curiously and climbed onto her arms and allowed themselves to be caressed by the princess.

Now the cave was full, and what had begun as a small reunion had suddenly become a large gathering. Tikal waited for the Chao to settle down before addressing the newcomers.

"Thank you all for coming. This is a day long awaited not only by Mobius, but by the entire Sony World."

"So…you already know who we are and why we're here?" Tetra asked.

"Of course. The Chaos Emeralds give me occasional glimpses of what is to be. You've succeeded in uniting the Nintendo World…and now the time has come for us to unify ours. You do know what must be done, I presume?"

Most of them looked uncertain, but Snake nodded firmly. "We need to send small recon squads to every sector and garner all the tactical support we can muster."

"Uh…what?" Banjo said, scratching his head. This sounded more like a military strategy than a diplomatic visit.

"We must split up and seek out the heroes throughout Sony to gain the trust and support of them and their kingdoms," Meta Knight paraphrased.

"Oh."

"One slight problem," Tetra said. "From my talk with the professor last night, things are quickly getting worse, and Microsoft's getting more and more aggressive. We don't have weeks or months to trek across this entire world asking everyone for help. We need to prepare for a fight _now_."

Knuckles stepped up to his ancestor and turned to face the rest. "Don't worry, captain; we Mobians have a way to travel even more efficiently than your Wire Frame portals. The Chaos Emeralds are the life-sustaining magic of this land; they possess incredible powers, including the ability to teleport experienced users anywhere they want."

"That's right," Tikal said. She turned to the pool and raised her hands, closing her eyes in concentration. Sure enough, seven glittering diamond-shaped jewels faded into being, forming a circle above the pool that reflected brilliantly off the faces of all who beheld them. Peach couldn't help but compare their powerful aura to that of the seven Star Spirits of the Mushroom Kingdom. It felt like an almost divine presence.

"Most of Mobius is already on your side," Tikal continued. "Those who might oppose us are not currently strong enough to be a threat. You now have us and Snake, but still that leaves ten kingdoms remaining."

"Not quite ten," Snake said, apparently knowing more about his world's goings-on than he'd let on. "Crash and Spyro are so closely knit that I'm sure a single visit to the Dragon Temple will suffice for both. And the Destiny Islands have been deserted for some time, so there'll be no point in going there."

"Really?" Sonic raised an eyebrow. "What happened to Sora and his friends?"

Snake just shook his head. "Another time. But the short answer is…I don't know."

"Eight destinations, then," Tikal amended. "We will give ourselves each two days' time to negotiate with the Sonian heroes, then meet back here—with the heroes, if possible. Now all that remains is to decide how we will divide among ourselves. A Mobian must accompany each group in order to operate the Chaos Emeralds; beyond that, I will leave it to your wisdom and knowledge of your crew to decide." She nodded at Tetra, who acknowledged it with a nod of her own.

"Maybe I'm just stupid," Kazooie said, peeking out from Banjo's backpack. "But if I can count correctly on my feathers, there's only seven of those Emeralds. How are we supposed to get to eight places at once?"

"I'll take the _Tornado_ to the closest one," Sonic said. "That's Megaland, just south of here."

"It's settled, then." Tikal smiled at them, the Chao beaming around her, the Chaos Emeralds sparkling above. "Thank you all for coming here; you have no idea how much it means to all of us in Sony. Some of us may have lost our way and will need persuading to join the alliance against Microsoft, but I assure you, all of us want the same thing: freedom from the Master Chief's ever-looming oppression. Remember the reason you sailed all the way across the sea to find us; focus on what we share in common rather than what sets us apart; give our long-abused heroes the hope they've been waiting for; and you will find success."

The Chao cheered, and Tetra couldn't help but admire the echidna's ability to give a good pep talk.

"All right, landlubbers. Listen close, because I'm not gonna repeat myself twice. Here's how our groups'll be set up…."

* * *

Whiteness. The magic of the yellow Chaos Emerald caused the cavern to vanish like a blanket thrown over his head. Diddy found himself out of space, out of time, almost as confounded as he'd been during his rather rocky ride in Dr. Andonuts's Phase Distorter back when he and others had been stranded in Onett. This time, it felt like Master Hand had picked him up by the back of his neck and dropped him like a rock somewhere else.

And as he, Big the Cat, Dixie, and Yoshi flashed into being, it became immediately apparent how different that "somewhere else" was.

Veldin was an almost exclusively desert region. They had teleported a short distance outside the main settlement on Kyzil Plateau, where Snake had told them they would find the kingdom's resident heroes—some duo called Clatchit & Rank or something like that.

The heat was considerable, although all four of their animalic instincts had prepared them to adapt to less-than-ideal environments. Still, the sun glared down on them like some angry, oven-baking eye. Even with his cap, Diddy had to squint to make out the hazy outline of the settlement. It really wasn't very big by most city standards, but then again, Veldin didn't strike him as the kind of place where people would rush to build huge metropolises. The settlement's largest structures resembled either grounded rocket ships or giant screws balanced atop metal platforms.

Diddy brushed sand off his arms and legs. _Why would anyone want to live here?_ he thought.

"Well, Froggy, here we are!" Big the Cat drawled cheerfully to his amphibious friend, appearing to forget about the three Nintendonians he'd come with. He stuck the yellow Chaos Emerald in a pouch on his gold belt. "Strange place; can't say this makes me regret never leaving Mobius except for—ah yeah! Hey, friends!"

Yoshi, Diddy, and Dixie finally existed again in Big's mind. They were all out of their natural element, and even with a couple familiar faces around, it was hard to feel comfortable.

Big guffawed, slapping Yoshi on the back. "Oh, you guys'll get used to it. I'm sure you have your fair share of weirdness in Nintendo, but here in Sony, we have a sayin': If it ain't awkward, it ain't fun!"

Dixie gave a weak laugh, but the other two said nothing.

Big blinked. "Uh…ok. Let's go, friends! They shouldn't be too hard to find; I mean, heroes like that don't just go around unnoticed."

He led the way toward Kyzil Plateau, which overlooked a series of steep cliffs whose stability none of them were eager to test out. Soon they were able to make out small dome-shaped residences dotting the settlement like metal igloos. They walked past dried shrubs and tried to ignore alien wildlife such as two-headed scorpions and baseball-sized desert flies.

Finally, they walked into the small town, although few of its residents seemed to be wandering about outside. Those who did, however, resembled humanoid fish of various colors and sizes—some with huge bulging eyes, others with ribbed fins running down their backs like extended mohawks, and a few with long, sharp anglerfish teeth and slimy scales.

They took little notice of the newcomers, appearing accustomed to strange travelers passing through town. Diddy looked around, but unfortunately there was no neon sign that said "Sony All-Stars this way."

"What now?" he asked, Dixie holding his hand at his side.

Big seemed to take a moment to turn his brain back on. For him, thinking was almost an extreme sport. "Uh…Snake described their place; it's supposed to be a big metal rectangle with—oh! Ok, friends, I think I found it."

They followed the Mobian's finger to behold what was, indeed, a rectangular metal building. It was covered in winding red pipes, steaming chimneys, and a scattered array of mechanical tools, as if it lodged a metal-munching monster. And at the front was an open garage door.

"Yoshi!" the green dinosaur urged.

Accordingly, they approached the open door and found the inside even dirtier and more cluttered than the exterior. Toolboxes, pallets, machine parts, capsules, and many objects none of them recognized littered the chamber, making it feel about a quarter its actual size. The shining exception, however, was the vehicle residing in the middle: a sleek amber ship gleaming like a brand-new X-Wing in the otherwise filthy garage.

It was only after Diddy had taken in this scene that he noticed the metal clanking sound coming from the aircraft, as well as the two furry yellow feet poking out from underneath.

"Clank, hand me the ¾" sprocket," a young male voice called from within. More metal clanking. "No, not the auxiliary rotary gear, you bucket of bolts! _That_ one! Thanks."

"Uh…" Big the Cat seemed unsure how to proceed. "Hello, friend?"

The clanking abruptly stopped. The figure rolled out on a creeper (a mechanic's scooter) and sat up, fixing the four of them with a suspicious stare. He looked very much like a cat with long ears, sharp green eyes, thick eyebrows, and a chocolate-colored mechanic suit with shoulder armor, gloves, and thick boots. In one hand he held what Diddy could only describe as a space wrench, for its head was a modern blue with blinking lights and blue sparks fizzling between the two jaws. The mechanic pointed the wrench at them like a weapon.

"Hey, guy. I don't know what you're doing in my shop, but unless you've got a vehicle that needs repairs and cash to back it up, I'm gonna have to respectfully ask you to _buzz off!"_

"Uh…" Big seemed at a loss for words. Diddy noticed this and decided to step in.

"Look; we're not here to cause trouble. We're just looking for someone called Clatchit & Rank."

"Ratchet & Clank," Dixie corrected.

That seemed to mean something to the mechanic. He lowered his wrench ever so slightly. "Who's asking?"

"Solid Snake," Diddy said. "We came with a bunch of others all the way from Nintendo. Microsoft's trying to rekindle the Copyright Wars, and he sent us here to ask for help. Any idea where we can find them?"

"Snake, huh?" The yellow Lombax relaxed. "I miss that guy…glad he's finally come out of hiding. Well, if it's Ratchet you're after, guy, search no further. You're looking at him!" A small robot with big green orbs for eyes came out from underneath the ship, using a propeller on his head to hover onto Ratchet's shoulder. "And this here's Clank."

"A pleasure to meet you, I'm sure," Clank said, hovering off his friend's shoulder to shake each of their hands. Yoshi thought the bot's bright green eyes rather reminded him of a succulent watermelon, and he had to resist the urge to slurp the robot into his mouth with his sticky red tongue.

Ratchet placed the end of his OmniWrench on the ground like a walking stick. "I guess I always knew Microsoft would come back for more trouble…How can we help?"

"We're meeting in Mobius tomorrow," Yoshi said. "It would be great if you could come with us."

Ratchet nodded. "I'll be there, guy. But in the meantime, come on in; I haven't had visitors in a while since I turned Doctor Nefarious into a scrap heap. Let me show you around, and you all can hole up here for the night if you'd like."

"Yoshi!" Yoshi agreed, hoping he would find something in this barren place worth eating as the Veldinians led them past Ratchet's treasured _Aphelion_ and deeper into his mechanical wonderland.

* * *

The blue Chaos Emerald gleamed at the base of Kaine Island after teleporting its cargo of travelers through space in a matter of seconds: Tails, Meta Knight, Prince Peasley, and Mr. Game & Watch.

The tiny island was more like a giant rocky tooth sticking out of the ocean. A small ring of flatter land covered in bushy trees surrounded the mountain like broccoli stuck between molars. The sky seemed perpetually overcast, threatening to rain at any second.

On the mountain itself, a tall spiraling wall topped with barbed wire wound its way up a long staircase all the way to the peak, where the stairs seemed to disappear into the mountain itself. Watchtowers shaped like British street lanterns shone their bright yellow beams across the mountain's face, just daring someone to try and ascend unnoticed. A few lit windows glowed along the mountainside, and most remarkably of all, a smattering of enormous telescopes dotted the mountain near the peak, some larger than others. The one welcoming aspect of the place was its cool, temperate weather.

"So this is where Sly Cooper makes his roost," Meta Knight said, his eyes glowing as much as the security beams through the misty air.

"Yeah," Tails said. "Only thing is…Snake didn't tell us how to get inside in one piece. I guess being a spy and all, it wouldn't be a problem for him."

"Nonsense, my good fellow!" Peasley unsheathed his sword and pointed it up at the telescopes as if he could pluck them off the mountain like cherries on an ice cream sundae. "No peril is too great for the magnificent heroes of Nintendo. We shall spring into the lair of Mr. Cooper and attain his allegiance posthaste!"

"Let's just go," Game & Watch said, adding one to his silent tally of all the times his friend had drawn his rapier just for dramatic effect. "Would it not be pru-dent to sim-ply ask him to come out to con-vene with us?"

"I wish," Tails said. "But from what I know of this guy, he won't hesitate to bag us or even shoot at us if we so much as wave hello at one of those towers. I'm pretty sure the place is armed with automatic security that'll shoot first, ask questions later if it sees us."

"Wonderful," Meta Knight said. "Then we must break into the hideout of a criminal who, if his security does not kill us first, will certainly not come quietly if we meet him face to face."

"He's not that bad," Tails said. "I doubt he'd kill us; it's just that a person in his line of, uh… _work_ …tends to have major trust issues."

"Onward, then!" Peasley made to charge toward the stairs at the base of the mountain, which were blocked by a steel gate connected to the lower end of the security wall. But G.W. grabbed him by his red cape and pulled him back.

"Did you hear an-y-thing Tails just said? We must pro-ceed with cau-tion—no one can see us."

"Right." Peasley calmed down and opted to follow the rest. Even though caution wasn't his typical approach, he was not keen on spoiling the adventure for anyone.

They sneaked from tree to tree until they were as close to the gate as they could get without being in the direct line of one of the patrolling spotlights.

"I'm not sure how we're gonna get past that lock," Tails said doubtfully, wishing Snake had given him a more detailed plan on how to evade Sly Cooper's security.

"Leave that to me."

G.W. crept out from behind the tree, moving one jagged frame at a time across the open ground. A spotlight came out of nowhere and began sweeping the ground toward him. Tails was about to hiss to the silhouette Smasher to come back, but it was not necessary. G.W. allowed his 2-D figure to fall onto the stony ground, blending in with the rock like a shadow. As the light passed over him, the security system might have detected a strange shape on the ground if it had paid closer attention, but the likes of Game & Watch would be the last thing it expected.

Once he was in the clear, G.W. walked up to the gate, stuck his black multipurpose key in the lock, and turned, opening it with a click. He ushered the rest over, and they began their ascent.

The next obstacle would be getting up the winding stairs unspotted, which if he was honest with himself, Tails had no idea how to do. He was good with technology and gadgets, but this seemed a bit out of his league, there being no way for him to reach the watchtowers seeing as they were each built on their own jagged protrusion from the mountain.

But Meta Knight had them covered—literally. A few seconds up the stairs, the first spotlight swept across the mountainside. He opened his Dimensional Cape and cloaked the other three, shielding them from sight with its dark, magical properties. They continued thus until they'd nearly reached the entrance to the mountain near the peak.

The steel door leading into the mountain was the permanent target of one particular spotlight.

"Hmmm…" Meta Knight hadn't expected this. Even if he or G.W. got past the light to the door, once they reappeared to unlock it there was no way they would get through unnoticed.

But Tails grinned. "My turn."

The double-tailed fox quietly used his twin tails to literally propel himself into the air. He hovered over to the top of the spotlight in question (which was much closer than the others), took out a screwdriver, and went to work. Within thirty seconds, the watchtower powered down and they were in the clear.

He rejoined them, and they approached the door, G.W. sliding his key into the lock just like he had at the bottom. He twisted…

And a trapdoor under their feet opened wide, consuming them like a voracious monster. They yelled as they fell through pitch darkness, then crumpled onto the cold, hard ground of a glass cage, its contents illuminated with bright fluorescent lights on the subterranean ceiling.

"Ugh…where are we?" Tails rubbed his aching head and looked up.

But there wasn't much to see; it was like an iron cube cut out of the mountain, with the cage at the center and a single steel door on one wall. The computer panel beside it appeared to operate the door of the cage. There were no cracks or holes for G.W. to slip through, and the transparent walls withstood even the heroes' hardest hits, so there was no chance of freeing themselves.

"Well, I daresay that at least our predicament couldn't become any worse," Peasley said.

Then the lights went out.

* * *

The next morning (at least they assumed it was morning, having no way to tell in the airtight prison), the small party awoke—except for Meta Knight, who had never fallen asleep to begin with. Gratefully, the lights had come back on, and someone had somehow left a pile of crackers and water bottles in the cell for them. They ate and drank, then waited two long hours before something finally happened.

The steel door opened and a most unusual individual entered. He was an anthropomorphic raccoon, dressed in a blue shirt with yellow cuffs and a small dagger sheathed at his side, a black mask across his hazel eyes, and a sturdy cane with a golden hook in his hand, resting casually on his shoulder like a lumberjack's axe. He came up to the glass and inspected each of them.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Sly Cooper said finally.

"You're Sly Cooper, right?" Tails came up to meet him on the other side of the glass. "We're here to—"

"To break into the legendary Cooper vault and steal my family's secrets, yes." He twirled his staff and tucked it under his arm, beginning to pace. "I've gotta hand it to you fellas; I was impressed by how you were able to get past my security. I watched the whole thing on my video feed. Lots have tried to break in over the years, but most don't even reach the staircase."

"I must protest," Peasley said. "You have grossly misjudged us, my friend. We have no intention of stealing your family treasures."

Cooper smirked. "That's what they all say. But I'm the top of the criminal class; trust me, I know there's no other possible reason for anyone to come here. It's not even on most maps. How did you find this island, anyway? I'm curious."

"We come on behalf of Solid Snake," Meta Knight said.

For the first time, Cooper's confidence wavered. He'd heard a lot of pathetic excuses from thieves he'd caught, but this was a new one, and for some reason he sensed the stranger was telling the truth.  
"Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time…Snake was one of the best sneaks in the business, almost as good as me—though obviously his stealth was put to use for different reasons. Still…no one's heard from him in forever. Not since—"

"The Cop-y-right Wars," G.W. finished.

Sly Cooper stopped pacing. Now these people had his full attention.

"Tell me more," he said.

* * *

Haven City was a sight to behold. From the hill where the red Chaos Emerald had transported them, Knuckles, Red, Quentin, and Toon Link had a spectacular view of the intricate city built on the edge of a dark green lake. The sun radiated thick strips of warm light between the several peaks of the snowy mountains behind them, the ocean just beyond their alabaster slopes. It was difficult to tell whether the city was floating on the water or constructed on protruding stretches of land or some mix of the two. A metal wall encompassed the perimeter, enclosing the colorful mixture of buildings inside. Many of the homes resembled cardboard boxes with sloped roofs, but there were also stadiums, markets, industrial sites, business districts, and gardens. It was like the past and the future had collided in a particle accelerator and spawned a new breed of hybrid civilization, a child of both worlds. Beyond the city and the mountains, however, the barren Wasteland stretched dully into the horizon.

"Wow," Red breathed.

"It's quite beautiful, isn't it?" Quentin folded his arms, basking in the fresh air. "I can see why your friends in Sony so value their homeland."

"Right, then." Knuckles began making his way down the hill. "Let's go. Hopefully Haven City's residents are as tranquil as their real estate."

They wound their way down for about ten minutes until they'd nearly reached the city's only entrance, a tall gate with flanking towers manned by what looked like blue robot guards with bright red eyes.

Toon Link eyed the security. "Uh…how are we going to find them, exactly?"

"The old-fashioned way," Knuckles said. He marched up to the base of the wall with the others close behind, immediately winning the guards' attention.  
"Halt! Who goes there?"

Now that they were close, it became clear that the guards were not, in fact, robots, but humans wearing blue armor plates and red goggles—although their ears were rather inhumanly long and pointy, even more so than Hylians.

"We're friends from Mobius and Nintendo," Knuckles said. "Solid Snake sent us to make fellowship with your people and your region's All-Stars, Jak and Daxter."

"Friends?" The guards suddenly pointed their rifles down at them. "Then why do you bring enemies to our gates?"

Toon Link shared his companions' confusion. "What enem—"

A ball of oily purple plasma shot into one of the guards from the direction of the hill, eliciting a scream as he fell off his tower and crashed onto the ground. The heroes turned around to find the perpetrator.

It was a cluster of mostly reptilian creatures with metal masks, armor, and shining yellow eyes, armed with steel hand weapons and guns that had presumably been responsible for the toxic purple energy known as Dark Eco. The creatures, known locally as Metal Heads, came as assorted lizards, geckos, bats, and giant scorpions, driven with a fury that exceeded any animal instinct. They were here for blood.

But the presence of the foreigners standing between the Metal Heads and their target confused them at first, giving the said foreigners the chance to strike first.

Knuckles began ripping chunks of earth out of the ground and hurling them at the foes. Toon Link contributed with a volley of arrows and bombs and the occasional boomerang toss.

"Go, Jigglypuff! Pikachu! Sandslash!"

Red's three Pokémon sprang out of their Pokéballs and rushed the incoming enemies. Jigglypuff slapped a lizard silly and used Rollout to crush a gecko. Pikachu's Thunderbolt took down a burlier, Komodo Dragon-like Metal Head. Sandslash burrowed underground and popped up behind unsuspecting creatures, Slashing scorpions and Tackling bats out of the air.

Quentin said nothing, but he closed his eyes and tossed the Omni Ball. From the electric blue capsule emerged an enormous Steelix—a giant chain of steel boulders with protruding spikes and a maw and eyes that meant bad news for anyone on its hit list. It bellowed a peculiar metal-grinding roar and dived toward the Metal Heads like a snake, crushing them with an effort equivalent to finding a Zubat in a cave.

The Metal Heads fought back with their steel weapons and Dark Eco guns, but the presence of the Steelix especially made theirs a daunting task indeed. Young Link and Knuckles soon had to take them on hand-to-claw, with fists and swords contending against the metal armor, searching for areas of exposed scales. The cold-blooded creatures' numbers were quickly diminishing.

A crafty scorpion dug up from behind Quentin and brought back its Dark Eco-tipped tail, poised to strike.

"Dad! Look out!"

The tail found a target—but it was Red's arm rather than Quentin's throat.

"Red!"

Quentin kicked the scorpion away, which was subsequently squashed by the first of the Freedom Fighter soldiers who were coming out of the gate to finish the Metal Heads off. He knelt beside Red's fallen figure, frantically trying to stop the corrupting purple infection of the Dark Eco from spreading along his arm. He poured a Max Elixir over the spot, but it had no effect.

The Metal Heads were all but destroyed, the few survivors fleeing back up the hill toward the cover of some pine trees. With the battle finished, Steelix Returned to the Omni Ball and the heroes crowded around Red while the Freedom Fighters attended to their injured guard and a few followed the Metal Heads up the hill to make sure they didn't come back.

The infection had now turned Red's entire arm purple and was creeping up his neck toward his face. Quentin called a Kadabra from the Omni Ball, but even its powerful psychic Recover had no effect on the Dark Eco wound. He knelt helplessly with Red's head in his hands.

"My son…don't give in to the darkness! Fight it!"

"Move."

A young man in a blue tunic stepped up to Red. He had a metal ring strapped to his chest, beige shorts, spiky yellow-green hair, and pointed ears like the guards. He was lean, but tanned and muscular.

A strange creature that looked like a blend of an otter and a weasel—an Ottsel, in fact—hopping from behind him and scurried up to Red, examining the dark tendrils.

"You'd better hurry, Jak," Daxter said. "It's spreading fast."

Without a word, Jak brought up his hand and extended his palm. A bright white light surged from it and pulsed into Red, chasing the Dark Eco out of his body with the cleansing power of its antidote, Light Eco. In a matter of seconds, the purple darkness was gone and Red was sitting up, feeling much better.

"You saved my son," Quentin said, shaking Jak's hand. "And for that, I am in your debt."

But Jak shook his head, his expression looking perpetually angry whether he actually was or not. "If it weren't for you and your friends, those Metal Heads would be wreaking havoc in Haven. People might've died. Consider us even."

Daxter went up to Pikachu, tilting his head as the Pokémon did the same.

"Well, if you ain't the weirdest rat I've ever laid my eyes on." He noticed Jigglypuff. "And you're without a doubt the first balloon I've seen with a face. And a cute little face, too. Who are you people? I don't recognize any of y'all, 'cept _that_ guy—" He pointed at Knuckles. "—and that was only during the Copyright Wars."

"We're from Nintendo and Mobius, and we've got an important message from Solid Snake," Toon Link said. "We need your help."

Jak nodded, having yet to express any clear emotion. "Any friend of Snake is a friend of ours. You've proven yourselves already; we'll be happy to hear what you have to say. If you've come all the way from the Nintendo World, it must be pretty important. Come with us to Haven Palace. We'll find you a place to rest and see what we can do."

"And by 'do,' we mean 'food,' right?" Daxter said. He instantly forgot his question and slunk up to Jigglypuff, moving his eyebrows up and down flirtatiously. "And you, my puffy princess, will have the honor of sitting beside I, Daxter, the proclaimed hero of Haven City."

Jigglypuff blushed, narrowed her eyes, and Double-Slapped the Ottsel, making her feelings on the matter quite clear.


	9. Chapter 7: Welcome Party (1)

Chapter 7: Welcome Party

* * *

 **The Copyright Wars**

 **Battle of Waffle Kingdom**

* * *

" _ **C**_ _ome, sister; let us show these tyrants the true meaning of power!"_

 _Kameo smiled in spite of—or perhaps because of—her sister's headstrong attitude. She wouldn't have put it that way herself, but with Kalus, who before the troll war had been her bitter enemy, some things never changed. Even after she'd used her magic to reanimate Kalus's petrified body and reunite her with her family (it was a long story), her sibling's competitive nature remained as intact as the stone body of the troll king Thorn, which remained on the bottom of the ocean._

 _They were both fairies of the Enchanted Kingdom, beautiful and winged and sprightly—not to mention royal, their mother being the queen of the land. Kameo's skin was a soft orange, decorated with traditional markings and magic runes and gold-chained jewels, her midnight blue hair braided behind her elvish ears. Her energetic green eyes matched her sleeveless shirt and shorts, the cloth having the smooth texture of summer leaves._

 _Kalus, on the other hand, was pale like a vampire, her eyes only slightly darker than her skin, her magenta locks a powerful contrast against her long black dress. Together, the pair made a formidable force._

 _They stood on the black battlements of Hatesong Tower, the southernmost isle of the Waffle Kingdom, as they awaited the approaching forces of Microsoft, which were just now coming into view. But it was not as bad as they'd expected; after the horror stories they'd heard about the Battle of Delfino Island, they along with the Waffle Toads and Chestnut King were relieved to find that it was only a cluster of Pandoran cruisers—big and brown and bean-shaped—flanked by a couple Spartan gunships. It certainly wouldn't be an easy battle with Microsoft's vastly superior technology, but at least they stood a fighting chance. Especially with the two fairies' help._

 _"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Kalus asked as they prepared to use the magic of the Wotnot Book to transform themselves into Elemental Warriors. "When we joined that RareWare coalition, I thought that meant we'd be able to step out of the feud between these three warmongering worlds and govern ourselves like those other islands do."_

 _Kameo rolled her eyes. Her sister knew perfectly well why they were taking Nintendo's side; no doubt she just wanted to hear her fellow warrior princess explain it again for extra encouragement._

 _"RareWare's vision_ is _to allow us, the Carrington Institute, the Willow Woods, and the islands to govern ourselves. The problem, sister, is that while Nintendo is willing to honor those terms, Microsoft would rather force us to remain under their control. If they win, RareWare loses."_

 _Kalus looked to each side, where clusters of Waffle Toads, coconut-shelled Koopas, chocolate Goombas, strawberry Piranhas, lemon drop Lakitus, and other Mushroom Kingdom species with food-themed variations were gathered on the shore of several of the Waffle Kingdom's tiny islands, ready for battle with the Chestnut King at their head wielding his broadsword. It didn't occur to any of them that from a distance, they might appear like an arrangement of fancy party snacks awaiting consumption._

 _Their villages and topological features were scattered across the other islands: Plumpbelly Village; Circuit Break Island; Grumble Forest; Rumblebump Volcano; and the late Minister Crepe's White Chocolate Castle on one of the center islands, where Princess Éclair ruled the kingdom alongside the Chestnut King, the towers capped with blueberry and raspberry muffins. In some ways it was a primitive world, but she had to admit that it possessed a sort of magic of its own, completely different from that of the Enchanted Kingdom._

 _"Yes…I suppose you're right." The Microsians were nearly within range. "Let's get this party started, then."_

 _The Wafflites kicked off the battle by releasing several catapults bearing Cherry Bomb Pies, which exploded upon impact as one might expect. Two of the incoming vessels were crippled by the projectiles and spiraled into the water, one being evacuated by the panicking Pandorans inside, the other being torn apart in a splintering ball of flames._

 _But the rest of the Pandoran ships, flying low to avoid the pies, landed just off-shore and unloaded scores of the cowboy-like soldiers, which hollered and swore as they aimed their rifles and blasters at their opponents. The gunships, however, made for two very specific targets: White Chocolate Castle and Hatesong Tower. They opened fire with their blue laser turrets, and the doors on each side opened to allow the Spartans to take potshots along the way._

 _"Here we go!" Kameo shouted. Both sisters began to glow white, and then their bodies morphed into two new forms. Kameo became Flex—a tangle of light blue limbs surrounding a large eyeball. Kalus was now Chilla, a snow-white yeti clad in spiked armor._

 _They both evaded the gunship's turrets and leapt off the tower as the ship reach the island. Flex used its elastic tentacles to latch onto the underside, clinging on like a parasite. Chilla bounded off the edge and bowled right into the alarmed Spartans, ramming them with its long spikes and drawing two sharp icicles and going to work. Flex, meanwhile, worked its way into the opposite door and sent surges of electricity through the soldiers' thick space armor, fighting its way toward the pilot._

 _Not long after, they had taken complete control of the gunship, having tossed most of the Spartans off the edge since killing them was extremely difficult with their fortified suits and strength-enhanced bodies. Chilla began taking aim and tossing icicles down at the Pandorans as Flex took the pilot's spot and steered the ship toward its next target: the other gunship._

 _Unfortunately, the rest of the Spartans were already well on their way toward obliterating White Chocolate Castle. Several large holes had been melted in it, though at least Princess Éclair with her escort had been evacuated to the Nintendo Mainland beforehand._

Time to send a little welcome present, _Kameo thought as her electric-powered form let loose all the gunship's lasers at its unsuspecting counterpart. A few blasts later, it was gone._

 _"That was almost too easy," Kalus commented as she took the copilot's chair (both had returned to their fairy forms). And indeed, it seemed like the Chestnut King didn't even need their help as he and his armies combatted the Pandorans with a palette of sugary weapons: syrup grenades; buttermilk pancake mines; berry bullets. A bit more than the proverbial spoonful._

 _But then Kameo's eyes widened as she looked to the east. "I think you jinxed us."_

 _"Wouldn't be the first…" Kalus didn't even finish her pun when she saw the flock of dragons surrounding five more Spartan gunships, coming in fast._

 _Kameo's head spun. She pounded her fist on the controls in frustration. "Of course…they've used Delfino Island as a byway to bring in reinforcements. How could we have missed it?"_

 _"Well, we did," Kalus said matter-of-factly. "And judging by the look of those Sonian dragons, I don't think Spyro's here to help us."_

 _Had the Dragon Realm ever come into contact with Akaneia, the two kingdoms would have found that they shared a lot in common: a rich dragon mythos filled with both good and evil dragons that used the powers of the four elements. As it was, these dragons were smaller and a bit more cartoony, but in this instance they were much more numerous than the couple dozen that would one day attack Akaneia on Master Hand's behalf._

 _They were appropriately colored: scarlet Fire Dragons; yellow Thunder Dragons; pale blue Ice Dragons; and green Earth Dragons. Each wielded the power of its respective element, and as they closed in on the Waffle Kingdom's defenders like a cloud of colorful bats, they demonstrated these powers in a terrible way._

 _The food-centric residents were scorched by fireballs; frozen by Ice Breath; sizzled by lightning bolts; and crushed by spontaneously conjured boulders. It was only a matter of minutes before the Chestnut King and the few survivors were forced to surrender, leaving two fairies against the world._

 _But even that battle was not to be, for with one mighty white Aether Breath, Spyro himself downed the rogue gunship, which landed upside-down beside the crumbling castle. The rattled Kameo and Kalus were rounded up with the other remaining fighters and forced to their knees as Master Chief himself disembarked and walked across the sand to inspect them. He spent several seconds lingering on the Chestnut King and the two warrior princesses, then stood erect._

 _"It's not our desire to end more lives than necessary; we prefer to spare the leaders of the realms we liberate so we might build a better world together free of Nintendonian oppression. However…you fairies came a very long way just to stand against us, to betray your mother country. And for that, you and the other RareWare rebels must be disciplined."_

 _He nodded to his regiment of Spartans, who turned their guns on one individual and overwhelmed her with a barrage of laser blasts._

 _"NOOOO!" The remaining fairy knelt and took her sister's head in her arms, tears flowing freely down her cheeks._

 _"Be grateful you've been allowed to live," the Chief said as he turned to see what was left of White Chocolate Castle. "If the Great Moon Deity had been here in person, you wouldn't have been shown such mercy. He has little tolerance for disloyal worms like you."_

 _Kameo said nothing; she just collapsed onto Kalus's motionless chest and allowed herself to be taken by the conquerors, sobbing more than she had since losing her sister the first time._

* * *

"You're sure you're up for this, then?"

L.O.G. inclined his monitor head in what was more or less a nod. "Affirmative. There can be no lasting peace until all the worlds and islands come together and build trust. And it is in my programming to facilitate this trust among Nintendo and RareWare…and eventually Microsoft. It is an objective fact that I cannot do so if I am confined to a maintenance shop. In any case, my circuits are running quite well now thanks to your splendid R.O.B.s."

Gadd chuckled as they made their way down the boardwalk of the Kong Family Treehouse toward the portal that would take them to the beach, which was the designated departure point for Nintendo's convoy destined first for Timber's Island, then the Isle o' Hags, and if all went well, Microsoft itself. The purple aluminum foil-like texture of the portal was just ahead beside the entrance to the Kongs' banana hoard.

"Very well. I must say that it is good to see you back to your old self again…with a few new parts, of course."

L.O.G. had indeed undergone considerable "computer surgery" after his encounter with the Master Chief. His cracked screen had been replaced, and though the complex internal hardware hadn't been touched save for a few minor repairs that were clearly needed, his screen seemed to glow brighter and healthier than normal, the yellow monitor unscratched, even the sentient computer mouse polished to a chipper shine. And with all this, L.O.G.'s mood seemed to reflect his refurbished circuitry.

The professor turned and waved back to Funky, Candy, and Kiddy Kong, who were watching the treehouse and its assets in the rest of their family's absence (it was even more important than Funky's cherished pub, the _Krystal Koconut,_ which he'd had to leave in the hands of the Brothers Bear for the time being). And, without further ado, the leader of the Smash Brothers along with the RareWare ambassador stepped through the portal onto the beach.

Their investment in Wario's services had been well worth the trouble. In spite of the greedy man's claims about how difficult the task would be, his company had delivered on the project with flying colors—literally.

The WarioWare Ark was a massive purple flying machine with the corporation's yellow logo decaled on the side. It boasted the mass of a large cruise ship with all of the elegance besides. Wario spared no expense making sure they traveled in style: Cushy red seats and air conditioning; spacious bedrooms; golden mirrored elevators; a wide-windowed bridge that wouldn't have felt out of place on the starship _Enterprise_ ; fine cuisine cafeterias and restaurants; more supplies than they could ever use; even a full-sized theater and a swimming pool (Gadd had objected to some of the more unnecessarily luxurious aspects, but in the end it was really up to the Wario Brothers to do whatever they wanted as long as they got away with it enough to still get paid).

But despite its attention to comfort, the Ark did not neglect the need for military strength. Its shield was strong enough to withstand one of Wario's atomic farts; its guns numbered in the hundreds, covering every possible angle of attack; and Wario had assured them that it contained some surprise features they'd only get to see if circumstances called for it.

Gadd and L.O.G. couldn't help but stop and admire the magnificent vessel, which bore a strange resemblance to a giant eggplant. Notwithstanding the uncertainty of what lay ahead, there was something simply exciting about the prospect of their imminent oversea voyage.

It was a very risky venture; with their defenses even further depleted than before, Nintendo could not afford to spare any fighters to remain behind if they wanted to have any hope of retaking the islands. With the exception of a few Pokémon overseen by Lance and April, Kongo Jungle animals, and the vague possibility of support from the Federations and General Pepper of Lylatt, they would be leaving their beloved mainland entirely unprotected. The chances of another attack on the Nintendo World in the near future seemed unlikely since they'd already secured their own islands; Sony was being taken care of by _The King's Krystal_ ; and Pit's report on Atari Island suggested that Microsoft wasn't harboring any additional armies. There was only the threat of Professor U. Reeka's R.A.W.s, which Gadd surmised would probably not be sent to Nintendo until his cousin had completed whatever sinister project he was working on with the Metal Gears. Thus, when it came to their quest to reclaim the islands, the Smash Brothers were going all in—for better or for worse.

By the time they arrived, the Ark was already mostly loaded and ready to go. Among its passengers were the remnants of Bowser's and Dedede's armies; the Toads and other Mushroom Kingdom fighters who did not fall under Bowser's umbrella for one reason or another; a platoon of Beanish warriors; a division of Wafflites, Yoshis, and Delfinians, although a good number of them had had to stay behind just to sustain civilization on their islands; a Hylian force composed of Hylian guards, Gorons, and Zoras (Ganondorf's forces had been unreachable ever since he'd been sealed back in the Sacred Realm); a battalion of Akaneian soldiers accompanied by a group of mages; a small number of Mute City natives; and the rest of the Pokémon (who alone made the name "Ark" seem appropriate, though they did not enter two by two in this case).

Yet even with all these, their numbers added up to only a few thousand. They were banking on luck, surprise, and coordination to have any chance of triumphing over Microsoft's island footholds. And some Sonian allies wouldn't hurt, either.

The heroes and leaders of these groups were gathered at the base of the entry ramp to the Ark, awaiting Gadd and L.O.G.'s arrival. Bowser; Dedede; Kirby; DK; Mario; Luigi; the Chestnut King; Pit; Link; Zelda; Princess Ruto (who had insisted on tagging along, more out of jealousy and boredom than anything else); Marth; Princess Nyna; Gotoh; Dr. Clash; Jody Summer; Gary; and Mewtwo.

But judging from the unpleasant, gaseous noise behind them, Gadd and L.O.G. hadn't been the last to arrive.

"Really?" Bowser looked like he'd rather rip the Wario Brothers' heads off with his bare teeth than shake their hands. "Do we have to bring the Twinkie and Twig brothers?"

"It's my a-ship," Wario said, paying no heed to his brother's look of injustice. "Believe a-me, Koopa; I don't want to get my hands a-dirty in this war of yours, but it's the only way I can protect a-my Ark…and my investment in your a-Coins won't be worth a-much if you're all a-dead."

"Yeah," Waluigi agreed.

" _That_ at least makes sense," DK said. He still hadn't been in a good mood ever since his standoff with Gadd. "But I still don't get why we're taking those two Seran prisoners along. What if they break out and start a mutiny in the middle of the ocean?"

"Don't worry about that, DK," Gadd said. "I can assure you their cells are impenetrable—unless you're a Pokémon who knows Teleport. Anyway, we're still hoping they might soften up as they see our intentions are good, and maybe they'll give us more information; at the very least, they could be useful leverage in negotiating with Microsoft."

"Well, I'm about ready to 'negotiate' with Microsoft with the head of my dear old hammer," Dedede said, still seething from the loss of his castle.

Gadd chuckled. "All in good time, lad." He turned to Wario. "Are we ready to go, then?"

"You bet, dwarf a-man," Wario said. "Now get all your sorry a-butts in my Ark; it's a-time to take a field trip!"

Five minutes later, the birds and other critters near the coast of the Kongo Jungle scattered as the loud rumble of the WarioWare Ark echoed and shook the trees like an earthquake. It lifted off with the languidness of Wario's belly rolling over in his sleep, redirected its enormous engines, and left the Nintendo World behind, slowly picking up speed until it seemed an unstoppable, undeterrable force.

* * *

The white Chaos Emerald dissolved from Mobius, taking its passengers for a ride to the fabled Dragon Realm.

Cream the Rabbit (who held the gem), the Ice Climbers, Tetra, and Chunky Kong found themselves in the most humid swamp they'd ever seen; all of their skin and hair had become sticky within a couple minutes. The particular piece of ground they stood upon was muddy, but relatively stable compared to the largely liquid tarn that spread through the thick, gnarled trees surrounding them. The foliage was so thick that they couldn't see the sky at all—only a faint, saturated green light that barely penetrated through the platter-sized leaves. The foul odor of soaked earth pervaded their nostrils. A chorus of buzzing and chirping filled the silence, with fireflies speckling the landscape like wayward drops of yellow paint.

Chunky took one tentative step forward and cried out as he began to sink. It took all the Ice Climbers' strength lassoing the gorilla with their climbing rope to pull him out of the sucking sinkhole.

"Maybe I should go first since I'm the lightest," Cream suggested, which Chunky had absolutely no problem with.

"Are we looking for something in particular?" Tetra asked as they slowly made their way through draping vines, checking the solidity of the ground with each step.

"The Dragon Temple," Cream answered. "It should be just over…there it is!"

The narrow path of sturdy mud led them to a large clearing in the trees within which there could be no doubt their destination resided. It was a magnificent golden structure that must have once been one of the most beautiful buildings imaginable, with ornately carved dragon pillars, hexagon-tiled domes, and bejeweled stairs and walls engraved with hieroglyphic pictures depicting dragon legends, such as that of the purple dragons who were born once every thousand years and were destined to shape the fate of the realm—beginning with Malefor, the first and most powerful (and evil) of these dragons. But age had made itself known in the form of creeping ivy, crumbling edges, even some hexagonal roof tiles completely missing or broken in half. Clusters of giant mushrooms crowded around the edges of the clearing like loyal subjects vying for proximity to the majestic temple.

"Cool," Nana remarked, referring, of course, to the remarkable sight of the temple rather than the sweltering environment.

"Hello?" Cream called as they stepped across a series of stones that allowed them to safely cross the swamp onto the steps of the temple. "Anybody there? Spyro?"

A fluttering of wings came in response to her blind inquiry, and before they had the chance to walk inside through the open entrance, a large yellow dragonfly buzzed from behind and cut them off, fixing them with a suspicious stare.

"You warm-bloods aren't from around here," he said, stating the obvious.

"We've come to see Spyro," Cream responded just as obviously.

Sparx appeared to be trying to think of a reason to deny them entry, but soon gave up. "All right, then. But watch your step—and don't touch the antiques. _Spyro, we've got company!"_

The entrance hall was filled with a scorched red carpet, high domed ceiling with a few holes where tiles were missing, and two rows of dragon statues lining each side. Instead of doors, the temple simply contained large arched doorways big enough for two mature elephants to parade through side by side. And sure enough, the fluttering wings grew louder, and within a few seconds, Spyro wound his way around a corner and landed with impressive (and intentional) grace as he folded his wings and came up to them, his nostrils steaming with each breath. The fiery reptile was small and somewhat cartoonish, yet possessed an energetic aura that left Tetra torn whether to fear him or not. Either way, he seemed to show no fear or discomfort toward them, not even with them being inside his ancestors' sacred sanctuary.

"Well, what's the scoop?" His voice sounded surprisingly young, almost immature. "I hope it's worth my time; I was doing something very important."

Sparx snorted in derision. "If by 'important' you mean stalking your girlfriend Cynder in the Pool of Visions, then I'm sure these warm-bloods'll have no trouble topping it."

"Hey." Spyro's big black pupils gleamed with a strange combination of power and mischief. "At least I don't spend my life annoying people by buzzing in their ears like a—"

"Right," Tetra said impatiently, cutting them off. "We were also told you're close friends with another Sony All-Star called Crash Bandicoot. Is he anywhere nearby?"

"No," Spyro said, "but give me just a minute."

Without further explanation, he took off out of the temple, leaving the four heroes with Sparx in an awkward silence.

"Where'd he go?" Chunky asked, subconsciously doing his routine food scan of the temple. No bananas, unfortunately.

"Beats me." Cream turned to the dragonfly. "Does he do this kind of thing often?"

"Oh, you have no idea," Sparx said, deciding gossip was the appropriate way to fill the time. "One time, the four Dragon Guardians were briefing him on an important mission when he saw a wild swamp turkey through the window and—"

"I'm back," Spyro announced, flying back into the room. Less than a second behind him, an orange blur raced through the entrance and came to a halt beside the dragon: Crash Bandicoot.

"How did you…" Tetra was at a loss for words, then just shook her head. "Never mind. We've been sent by—"

" _Cream!"_ Crash zoomed up to the rabbit and spontaneously hugged her. "Crikey! It's been, like, forever, man! What're you and these slick dudes and dudettes doin' here?"

"That's what we were about to tell you; we've come here to—"

"And Sonic; has that guy come back out of the woodwork yet? Blimey; I've owed that speedster a rematch ever since our last race."

"Yeah, he's—"

"And you blokes…" Crash peered out at Tetra, the Ice Climbers, and Chunky from behind his stylish shades. "Never seen anyone like you. 'Cept you, big fella." His eyes stopped on the Kong. "Whoa…somethin' about you seems real familiar…."

Popo spoke up indignantly. "We need to talk about—"

"Well, you've gotta stop beatin' around the outback with all the side chatter, Eskimo dude. I mean, really; I can't just stand here listening to your interrupting voice go off on tangents all day, can I?"

"Crash's right," Spyro said. "If you've got something to say, warm-bloods, get to the point while we're still here waiting for you to break your awkward silence."

Tetra sighed. This was going to take a while.

* * *

Craftworld was perhaps the strangest of all the regions in the Sony World. It featured many colorful landscapes typical of other worlds—plains, forests, lakes, mountains, and so forth—but at the same time, large portions of the land had the appearance of desktops and other settings quite reminiscent of Master Hand's giant room beyond the Battlefields back in the Nintendo World.

Once Amy, Snake, Samus, and Captain Falcon had appeared atop a hill using the Turquoise Chaos Emerald, what really threw them off was the fact that everything had some sort of artificial texture—whether it be that of cardboard, paper, Styrofoam, fabric, or painted wood. It was like a world-sized shoebox diorama, and everything in it was strangely alive, including the swaying trees and puppet-like birds and stitched clouds. None of them having been to the Dimension Conflux or to the world of Paper Mario, this change in surroundings was quite an adjustment indeed.

Snake extinguished the cigar he'd been smoking and stamped it out on the wooly green ground.

"I'm not sure whether that was tobacco or LSD," Captain Falcon commented, suggesting they were all experiencing some kind of wonky second-hand side effects.

"It's real, all right," Amy said, tucking away the Emerald in her dress pocket. "But if it makes you feel any better, we shouldn't have to stay here very long; Sackboy's known to be one of the most adorable, kindest, agreeable little bags of fluff you've ever laid eyes upon…" She seemed to grow distant in her imaginings of such a cute little All-Star.

"Some would say the same of baby Metroids," Samus said, keeping her arm cannon at the ready. "But not everything's always as it seems."

"Relax, Sam." Falcon put a hand on her shoulder armor, with Snake watching the motion with a curious expression. The F-Zero racer had only just begun employing this nickname since their rather close encounter with the Big Octos, and it was a miracle he hadn't been punched in the face for it yet. "I'm pretty sure we got one of the easier All-Star assignments. We'll be in and out of here in a jiffy."

"Let's hope so," Amy said. "By the way, Snake…is that the cardboard house you were talking about back in Mobius?" She was pointing at a lone cardboard house in the middle of the field, with a literal stream of blue paint running alongside it. The picture of a peaceful life.

"It is," the black-ops agent confirmed.

They made their way down the pastel-painted slope to the grainy board that was the small house's front door, the entire vicinity smelling strongly of chemicals and sawdust. Amy knocked on the door.

It opened, seemingly of its own volition, but then Falcon realized that was only because its resident was no more than two feet tall, peering up at them from the entryway. It was a small stuffed person made of sackcloth, with plushy arms and legs and a zipper running up the front. The head was square, but for whatever reason, it had no face.

"This is Sackboy?" Samus knelt down to look at the small puppet creature. "Doesn't look so cute to me."

It ushered them inside with a gesture that they assumed to be friendliness, but Snake hesitated at the doorway behind the others.

"Something's wrong…this is not the Sackboy I know."

Amy paused as well just a couple steps inside the fabric-furnished cabin. "He's right; I might've forgotten a lot of things about the Copyright Wars, but I distinctly remember Craftworld's hero having a rounder head…and a face."

As if it knew exactly what they were saying, the Sackbot nudged Snake all the way inside and shut the door behind him. Next thing they knew, a dozen more of them were crawling out from behind couches, under beds, inside closets, even out of the yarn-textured fridge and oven. They were surrounded by a circle of featureless dolls.

"What is this?" Snake demanded of them. "Who are you? Where's the real Sackboy?"

"These pincushions are really startin' to creep me out," Falcon said as one got uncomfortably close to him, waving its arms like a child wanting a hug.

"That's it. Get out of my way!" Two had begun to climb onto Samus's shoulders. She shrugged them off without much gentleness and flat out kicked one blocking her way to the door.

They all froze and turned toward Samus with zombie-like synchronicity.

"What've you done now, Sam?" Falcon was afraid to move; for all he knew, these stuffed midgets were walking time bombs.

Two things happened. First, the Sackbots' sackcloth skin deepened into a cherry red, spouted cyclopean eyes, and began attacking them. Second, a hurricane-force wind from outside whipped across the edges of the house's exterior, and with a crack, snapped the roof clean off.

The floating monster above them could only be described as the disfigured nozzle of a black vacuum cleaner, with demonic magenta horns and teeth and four vicious yellow snake eyes. Its hose wound behind it into a narrow magenta rift that led to the dimension from whence it came. Negativitron had come for revenge on its creative conqueror, Sackboy—and it didn't seem to care much about who else it destroyed along the way.

They all clung onto whatever furniture they could reach as best they could, their bodies being sucked toward the sky as if by alien abduction. Amy beat off two Sackbots-turned-Meanies with her hammer as they tried to pry her away from her handhold on the bed. Snake gutted and decapitated several others with a hidden knife while holding onto the swinging fridge door for dear life. Captain Falcon kicked a couple directly in the eyeball, sending them up into the gaping maw of their destructive master. Samus torched three more with her arm cannon's flamethrower, causing them to look even more like Satanic puppet children than before—an image she would be unlikely to forget for some time.

Despite their success fending off the Meanies, they found themselves helpless before Negativitron's relentless inhaling; they wouldn't be able to hold on much longer….

Through the missing roof, they witnessed the tiny figure of the real Sackboy—round head and black button eyes and all—speeding toward Negativitron on his self-fashioned, blue corduroy jetpack. He quickly caught the monster's attention and flew circles around its head, its long tubular neck twisting around like a Hydra head as it sought to consume its nemesis.

Sackboy cheered and began hurling what looked suspiciously like (and, in fact, were) round cakes at the sucking serpent's pink brain behind its head. The creature screeched like a dying dragon and made one last desperate snatch at the sentient plushie. But its quarry rolled to the side and nosedived toward the head, this time with a random sewing needle held like a jousting stick. He impaled the brain and bounced away toward his rattled house as Negativitron retreated into the dimensional rift, seriously injured and deeply disappointed. Then it was gone along with the rift, which sealed itself up like ripped wallpaper being covered up by a new strip and a fresh coat of paint.

Sackboy landed on his bed with a soft squishing sound and beamed around at his new friends, most of whom were regarding him for some reason with mixed wonder and incredulity. It wasn't like he'd done anything that special, after all; Negativitron tried to attack him almost every day, always with the same result. This time, it had tried to ambush him with Meanies in his own house, planting them inside while he was away creating a cave full of unicorns and rainbows.

Snake was the only one who seemed unsurprised by the dazzling artistic display. He approached Sackboy and saluted him like he would a ranking military officer. The plushie returned the gesture, which was so adorable that Amy's heart melted.

"The Sony World's in danger from Microsoft once again," Snake said. "This time we will join with Nintendo to defeat them once and for all, but we need your help. Are you in?"

Sackboy nodded vigorously, unintentionally creating a few tiny fireworks that burst above his head, accompanied by a sourceless round of applause.

 _Great,_ Falcon thought as he picked strands of thread off his suit and helped Samus to her feet. _Another mute superhero. Looks like we've found the Sony World's Kirby._


	10. Chapter 7: Welcome Party (2)

Tikal the Echidna stood on the edge of a giant bongo drum (yes, a giant bongo drum), purple Chaos Emerald in hand, her traveling companions behind her. She had chosen this spot in the Glade of Dreams as their destination because it allowed them a wide, spectacular view of most of the region—from the swirling, cotton candy-like canopy of the Dream Forest to the north, to the hot fudge mountains of Candy Chateau to the west. Behind her was Band Land, which was pretty much exactly what it sounded like: a cornucopia of giant instruments, ranging from bass drums that boomed with every step, to piano staircases that would become a flat slope if they didn't like the tune you played, to clarinets and oboes whose horns pointed straight up, blowing those brave enough to take a leap of faith onto higher planes with perfect pitch (except the oboes, of course). A winding trail displaying a musical staff wound its way through and around the instruments like some delusional hiking trail conceived of not just Snake's "LSD," but Chet Rippo's hallucinogenic Groovy Shrooms, both drugs taken together.

"Um…I think I let my honeycombs ferment," Banjo said. The Isle o' Hags had more than its fair share of bizarre environments, but this took his bear brain to a whole new level of weird.

Tikal smiled. "No, you see correctly, Banjo. The Sony World is home to many unique and colorful things, especially in Craftworld and here in the Glade of Dreams, but I would be willing to bet that if Sonians went to the Nintendo World, they would feel the same way."

Tiny Kong resisted the urge to break out her saxophone and play a few eardrum-shattering notes. "Personally, I think this place is pretty cool. It's amazing how much is outside of Nintendo that we never could've imagined."

"Yeah, Earth's pretty boring compared to Smash Planet," Ness admitted, watching clouds drift across a mountain-sized tuba. "People on my planet know the universe is big…but I never thought there were places that are 'big' like this."

From inside Banjo's backpack, Kazooie sniffed, unimpressed. "You should see Cloud Cuckoo Land; that Jello castle was one thing, but when we ran into that freakish lookalike Mingy Jongo, I thought I'd been smokin'—"

Suddenly, a webbed white hand attached to an elastic blue arm whipped out from behind an upright quarter note and slapped the Breegull full in the face, retracting a fraction of a second later accompanied by a fit of deep giggles.

Kazooie blinked in surprise and shook off the blow, narrowing her eyes and looking out at the series of floating black notes spread across the bongo.

"All right, someone just asked for a Grenade Egg to the gizzard. Show yourself, you cowardly pile of seagull droppings!"

A blue blur leapt from behind the quarter note to a quartet of sixteenth notes—and slapped Kazooie again, followed by even louder laughter.

"That's it!" Without waiting for Banjo's permission, she flew out of the backpack and coughed up Grenade Eggs, destroying one note after the other as she followed the hopping blur around the perimeter of the drum. Finally, the entire stanza obliterated, her assailant had nowhere to go but out in the open, landing on the bongo with an echoing thud.

It was a human-sized frog—albeit one with quite a belly—with noodly arms, crazed eyes, and a wide, gaping mouth that seemed to be fixed in an expression of perpetual laughter.

"Globox likes having fun with dorcas bird!" he warbled, twitching and bouncing and clearly incapable of staying still.

"Dorcas?" Kazooie's anger peaked, her red head feathers even redder than normal, which most wouldn't think possible. "Ok, toady, you just earned yourself the butt-kicking of a lifetime!" She drew out a small, pink, big-eared Glowbo, which, when ingested, would turn her into a lime green dragon capable of incinerating the frog like fried tuna. She made to toss it into her mouth, but her partner beat her to it. Banjo snatched her out of the air, stuffed her into his backpack, cinched the straps shut, and pocketed the Glowbo. He ignored the muffled yells from inside his shaking pack.

Tikal looked interested in Globox, having ignored the entire Kazooie incident. "I believe I know you; you are friends with Rayman, yes? Can you take us to him?"

Globox hopped and spun ecstatically. " _Can_ I? _Can_ Globox take you to Rayman? What a question! The _real_ question is…can you worrywarts keep up with Globox? Ha tee tah!"

He turned and bounced away along the music staff trail, not even glancing back to see if they were following.

"I guess that's our answer," Tiny said, skipping after the frog with the others close behind.

They chased Globox down the winding trail, almost being knocked off by wandering notes. They followed him across a snare drum that was being played by giant sticks, shaking those who failed to jump with each beat like a three-second earthquake. They pursued him across the strings of a viola, the self-playing bow almost knocking them into the depths of the instrument. They tracked him through an ensemble of xylophones, glockenspiels, and marimbas, almost tripping between notes and having to change rows when the mallets came down like giant hammers. They tailed him down a trombone slide that extended and retracted without warning, at the end of which they were blown by its deafening horn onto a suspended cymbal, which spun and almost cast them over the edge like a malignant tilt-a-whirl.

Finally, after recovering from their dizziness, they reached the end of the line—that is, the double bar that signified the end of the staff and the song, with the word _fin_ written in an elegant script font along the side of the black wall (Tiny, being the most familiar with music among them, could only hope there were no repeat marks). Globox skidded to a halt and turned with delight to find they'd survived the journey. He reached behind him and slapped a figure snoozing in a hammock suspended between the stems of the final chord. The figure tumbled out of it and crashed onto the ground. He got back up drowsily, rubbing his eyes and blinking to adjust to the bright light of consciousness.

Rayman was more or less a human with a huge nose and no limbs—that is, he still had hands and feet and a head, but no neck, arms, or legs to connect them, as if he were held together by some powerful magnetic field. His purple shirt, yellow sneakers, and gloved hands didn't attract as much attention as the two wild tufts of yellow hair sprouting from his head like thick weeds.

"You must be the Nintendonians," Rayman yawned, leaning casually against the double bar wall.

"You were expecting us?" Ness asked.

"Well… _I_ wasn't…but Polokus—the seer and creator of This World, who lives in the Dream Forest—he sees everything, and he told me to get a good rest 'cause I'd soon have to be off on some crazy adventure. Usually my travels keep me in the Glades…but you guys look like you've come a long way, so it must be pretty serious. What's gone wrong this time?"

Kazooie burst out of Banjo's pack, having pecked her way through the straps. Her eyes were livid. "I'll tell you…after I murder your frog friend."

In spite of Kazooie's threat, Globox's grin didn't fade even an inch.

Rayman just laughed. "It's good to meet you, too. I can tell we'll get along just fine."

* * *

The _Tornado_ tore across the sky, covering the southern regions of Mobius with great efficiency. The lush Green Hill Zone gave way to more urban environments as they neared Mega Land: the smoking factories of Scrap Brain Zone; the elegant loops and towers of Star Light Zone; and the flashing lights of Spring Yard Zone that looked just like a pinball machine from above. The sky deepened to a heavy blue that would remain the same regardless of whether it was day or night.

"Everyone doing all right back there?" Sonic called back from the pilot's seat of the red biplane, the whine of the propeller and the screaming wind making it quite difficult to be heard.

"Just peachy!" Princess Peach said cheerfully, although not all her fellow passengers felt quite the same. Her longtime mentor and advisor, Toadsworth, looked a bit queasy.

"Ugh…with all due respect, your Highness, speak for yourself. I do hope we don't have much further to go. I'm afraid flying isn't quite my forte."

"I second that," Roy called from the back, looking like he was fighting back growing nausea. This brought back memories of that dreadful F-Zero race he'd been coerced into joining—memories he'd been trying hard to forget.

Although Perry the Parasol was unable to unfold himself for fear of being blown off the plane, he piped up from under Peach's seat.

"I've gotta agree with the princess on this one; I'm having a blast!"

Sonic grinned at the mixed feedback. "Ha, well, don't worry; we should reach Central City in just a few minutes."

 _A few minutes might not be soon enough,_ Roy thought.

It became clear that they had now crossed the border over to Megaland, for the deep blue sky was now laced with green lines resembling computer circuitry, bending and interlacing and glowing in places like some kind of digital aurora borealis. The urban districts below had also become noticeably higher tech, mostly comprising neon blues and greens that lit the cityscape like pegs on a Lite-Brite board. Futuristic airships crisscrossed between the buildings, making Roy's home in Akaneia look like a primitive nomadic village in comparison.

Sonic pointed down at the tallest and largest of the skyscrapers as he began his descent.

"That's the City Hall; we should find Megaman inside."

They came back around and circled down until they found a place to land on the building's flat roof some thirty stories above the ground (there was no chance of finding a place to land on the streets below). They could see cranes and steel scaffoldings atop several other skyscrapers, the whole city a spectacle of thousands upon thousands of shining windows. Although the humming and beeping of aircrafts continued around them, the place was oddly bereft of both people and robots; no one seemed to venture outside much unless they were already inside their vehicle.

Sonic and the others disembarked, Toadsworth and Roy requiring somewhat of a breather to readjust to solid ground and normal air pressure.

"So, what's the government like here?" Peach asked, ever one to be in the know on political situations. "Is it a kingdom? Democracy? Republic? Is there a legislature and a court system?"

"Yeah, I don't really know," Sonic said, _never_ one to be in the know on political situations. "All I can remember is Megaman and a bunch of other Robot Masters always seemed to be the ones to make things happen. I think Dr. Light, the creator of most of Megaland's bots, acts like some kind of consultant, and then the rest of the people do other stuff."

"I see," Peach said, not really seeing anything. "Well, if we are to establish good diplomatic relations with Megaland, we should meet with these Robot Masters, don't you think?"

"I guess we could," Sonic said. "I was kinda hoping we could just find Megaman, get him on our side, and get out without making much of a fuss."

"Too late for that, meat sacks," an electronic voice boomed from behind them.

They turned to find a squad of Megaman-like robots propelled by rockets landing on the roof, all pointing arm cannons of varying design at the heroes. The speaker was perhaps the most distinct among them, a stern-looking Robot Master in black armor. Beside him, a robotic purple wolf growled at them, metal tubes looping across its back. What was more, at least half a dozen additional robots ran up a staircase onto the roof, forming a complete perimeter. They were surrounded.

"I am Bass, chief of Central City law enforcement. You are trespassing on city property without authorization. Surrender or be destroyed."

"Oh, my!" Toadsworth stammered. "Please don't do that."

But Roy, already sick to his stomach, was not in a good mood for confrontation. He drew his Binding Blade, allowing flames to flicker across the edges.

"Go ahead and try," he said.

"Master Roy!" Toadsworth cried in protest.

But the damage was already done; Bass obliged the boy's challenge by firing a jet of black energy. But the attack was blocked by Perry, who had completely covered Roy in an umbrella shield, then stretched back out and glared at Bass.

"We're not here to cause trouble," he said. "We've got an important mission and we need to see Megaman."

" _I'll_ decide whether you get to see Megaman," Bass said testily. "And right now, I'm not feeling particularly generous. Bots, take them into custody."

Roy was about to strike back, but Sonic put an urgent hand on his arm and shook his head. Grunting with discontent, Roy reluctantly lowered his weapon and allowed himself and the others to be subdued and taken inside.

They were led to a cobalt elevator, which took them down not just thirty floors, but several levels belowground, where they found a holding cell awaiting them made of nothing but smooth steel walls and iron bars. They were shoved inside and left to themselves.

Peach sighed and sat against the wall. "See what happens when we don't engage in civil conversation first?"

Roy just lay down on the cold floor and brooded; he knew he'd acted rashly and this situation was his fault, but he was too angry to deal with it at the moment. He forced himself into an uncomfortable sleep.

* * *

The next morning, two bots came for them and led them to the elevator. They were taken down several bright cobalt hallways until they entered a chamber that appeared to be a courtroom, with a semicircular panel of Robot Masters seated behind a raised bench at the front—among them Megaman himself—and a bench reserved for the prisoners. Bass and his robotic wolf, Treble, awaited them on a bench across from theirs, an expression of clear disdain on his humanoid face.

"What's this all about?" Megaman asked with a calm maturity that far surpassed his boyish face. He stood and looked down on Sonic, Peach, Perry, Toadsworth, and Roy. "Sonic? Why are you helping these foreigners into our city?"

"This is all a huge misunderstanding, Megaman," Sonic said. "Roy and your police chief got a bit hot-headed toward each other, but really we're here for something bigger than any petty trespassing squabble."

" _I_ got hot-headed?" Bass fumed. He pointed his arm cannon at the hedgehog. "Why, you—"

"Enough!" Megaman said, which was enough to prevent violence in the courtroom. "Sonic, you know well that as part of the truce ending the Copyright Wars, we agreed that Megaland was to remain neutral in all foreign affairs. Whatever your intentions may be, my people don't take kindly to breaches of contract."

The Nintendonians all looked at Sonic in surprise, none of them having been aware of such conditions. He sighed.

"Sorry, guys. I just didn't think we had time to go through all the formal procedures to get into Megaland to begin with, let alone meet with the Robot Masters and tell them what's going on." He turned to Megaman. "But none of that matters now. What matters is that Microsoft's rekindled the war…and we need the help of all the Sony All-Stars and your people if we're gonna stop them."

"If you say you want to protect Sony from its enemies," Bass said, "then why are you associating yourself with these Nintendonians? Nintendo is as much our enemy now as it was before. You've betrayed the trust of our world to let them infiltrate our inner sanctum, and for that, you must be punished!"

An uproar of approval rang out from the gathered Robot Masters. Crash Man waved his drill arms in the air. Cut Man's scissor-topped head snipped open and closed with indignance. Megaman alone appeared to be carefully considering Bass's words. He looked at Sonic. "Well…Bass has a point. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Sonic briefly explained the events starting from L.O.G.'s arrival to Microsoft's attack on Dreamland and then their mission to Sony to gain the All-Stars' allegiance.

"Allies?" Bass scoffed dismissively. "More like lies you've invented to escape punishment and help your Nintendo friends take us over! We can't risk taking one rule-breaking Mobian's word when the very security of our civilization is at stake!"

Murmured agreement from the other Robot Masters. Small sparks and flames and circles of whirling leaves suggested how well Bass had emotionally won over his associates.

Finally, Princess Peach couldn't take the bickering any longer. "Please," she said, "we understand your hesitance to trust us. We are complete strangers to your land and your ways, and we apologize for any infractions we've unknowingly committed. If your neighbor's words are not enough to convince you of our good intentions, at least open yourselves to what I have to say.

"Most of us in Nintendo retain no memory of the Copyright Wars; all we have right now are the words of an old book and those of a few of our friends. Solid Snake has told us of how he and the rest of Sony were so cruelly forced to join Microsoft against us at the threat of harm befalling your loved ones. As a ruler in my own kingdom, I understand this, and I know none of us lay any blame on your people for what happened. You never were our enemies, and you certainly aren't now.

"From what little I've seen of Megaland, I can see that you are a just people that want equal treatment for everyone and protection for the innocent. I applaud your police chief for having the integrity to enforce your laws even when it might not be convenient." She looked pointedly at Bass, who was clearly surprised by the compliment. "I don't know the details of your peace settlement with the rest of Sony, but we do have a problem if everyone is determined to act in isolation. Let me explain why.

"When a great evil arose in our neighboring Beanbean Kingdom, we more or less opted to ignore their predicament, though our heroes Mario and Luigi did end up crossing their boundary and lent a helping hand. But even after Cackletta was stopped, because the Mushroom Kingdom did not act immediately to ensure the threat was completely gone, her right-hand minion, Fawful, wreaked unspeakable terror upon our land some time later. My kingdom barely endured the ordeal intact, and even then it was because we'd joined with our enemy, King Bowser, to stop Fawful once and for all. Our insistence on isolation nearly proved our extinction.

"This issue with Microsoft…it is on a much grander scale than Cackletta or Fawful or any conflict among two kingdoms. It is as dangerous as what all of the Nintendo World faced when Master Hand sought to seize control of the entire continent. Had we not banded together as a united world a year ago, we would all be suffering under the oppression of an omnipotent tyrant. And if you do not lay aside your troubled past and do the same, I fear the Sony World may suffer the same fate. My plea, as an ambassador and as a friend who has no desire to interfere with your respectable governance, is that you consider these consequences, and make an informed decision as you deem best."

The courtroom was silent. No one had expected such eloquence in the midst of their quarreling, and the mood had changed dramatically. Finally, Megaman responded.

"You make a convincing case, Princess Peach. Thank you for clearing up our disagreements." He turned to the other Robot Masters. "I think we can agree that none of us want Microsoft to invade us as they have in times past." He then faced Bass. "I feel that their story would be very difficult to fabricate in the spur of the moment; and I believe we face a greater risk not in the chance of their dishonesty leading to Nintendonian conflict, but the chance that Microsoft may be waging a full-scale war on both our worlds, and if we are caught unprepared, we will surely fall before them once again."

Even Bass grudgingly nodded. Megaman, the greatest and most just among them, had well spoken to the convincing of all the Robot Masters.

"Forgive us for imprisoning you," Megaman continued. "Please allow us to begin making reparations by joining us for lunch at one of Central City's finest restaurants. I will then come with you to meet the rest of the All-Stars this evening."

As the vindicated newcomers walked out, Sonic regarded Peach with newfound respect. "How did you manage that?"

Peach shrugged and giggled. "Sometimes sweetness is mightier than the sword."

* * *

On the evening of the second day, the Nintendonians, Mobians, and Sonian All-Stars reconvened in the cavern on Angel Island where Tikal had sent them off with the Chaos Emeralds. It was a grand gathering: the crew of _The King's Krystal_ ; the hedgehogs and rabbits and echidnas (and Big the Cat) who had guided them across the Sony World and called this place home (The Chao had graciously vacated the cave for their use); and the impressive assortment of All-Stars including Sonic, Snake, Ratchet and Clank, Sly Cooper, Jak and Daxter, Spyro, Crash Bandicoot, Sackboy, Rayman, and Megaman. There was so much to be said and done, so many acquaintances and friends and plans to be made.

"Ratchet and Clank? Jak and Daxter? Seriously?" Kazooie couldn't hide her rudeness even as she and Banjo met the two other sets of paired heroes. "What happened to the original dynamic duo: Banjo & Kazooie? Can no one make heroes without ripping off of us anymore?"

Megaman couldn't help but admire Samus's armor. "Nice suit," he said. "What kind of programming did you use to configure its weaponry?"

"Mr. Snake, it's an honor to see you again," Sly Cooper said, expressing the actual sentiment of respect that most of the All-Stars still regarded the soldier with. Snake was pleasantly surprised as he discovered this more and more with each reunion. Despite everything, he was still seen as a leader and a hero among them.

"You're quite sure he isn't a Pokémon, then?" Quentin ask Red as he attempted to put a hand on Spyro's head. But by the way the dragon reacted with an angry, steaming snort and said "Hands off the horns, pal!" it was clear this was one creature he wouldn't be able to summon with the Omni Ball.

"Wait a minute," Tiny Kong said as she'd been meeting Sackboy. "Aren't we missing a few people? Where's Lanky?"

As if in answer, the last four heroes arrived, calling immediate, unwanted attention to themselves. Shadow, Falco, Conker, and Lanky Kong appeared, the former two looking particularly frustrated and flustered.

"What happened?" Sonic asked his friend. "Didn't you guys go to Strangereal to find that All-Star pilot, Cipher?"

"That's exactly what we did," Shadow growled, his anger poorly concealed. "We met with their freaking Osean Federation and everything was going perfectly…until _someone_ let the monkey off his leash and he blew up a grounded fighter jet with an orange grenade."

Lanky appeared oblivious to the conversation, but Falco took the comment very personally. "Excuse me? Since when was I appointed babysitter to the orangutan? You were supposed to be in charge of this mission; just because Lanky stuck beside me like a mosquito and then decided to wander off and bomb a butterfly that happened to land on a jet, that doesn't give you the right to lay _any_ blame on me."

"To be fair," Conker said, casually brandishing a machine gun in one hand as unnecessarily as Prince Peasley brandished his rapier, "they weren't that happy to see us in the first place. Said something about an isolationist policy. Claimed they were done fighting other kingdoms' wars for them. Refused to even send a representative to this meeting, let alone lend a hand against Microsoft. We should probably just cruise over there sometime and shoot them all to be on the safe side."

Ignoring the rapid decline of logic at the end of Conker's statement, Sonic tried to quell Shadow's and Falco's animosity. "It's all right; I think we've got more than enough help from the rest of Sony as it is. If Strangereal wants to stay out of it, that's their choice."

A few minutes later, Tikal called them together.

"Thank you all for making the sacrifice to come here," she said. I am sure you have each been made aware of our objective: to combine the Smash Brothers of Nintendo with the All-Stars of Sony and defend our lands against the looming threat of Microsoft. Now the time has come for us to decide on a plan of act—"

"Guys guys guys guys guys!"

They all turned to behold Globox, the walking blue frog, waving his arms in the air frantically, with Cream the Rabbit at his side holding the white Chaos Emerald. Evidently, they had just returned from a journey.

"Globox has the goodliest of good news!" he said, while Cream's panicked expression seemed to suggest otherwise. "Our goodly friends across the giant pond've sent a welcome party to congratulate us on our super rad gathering. Come quick and see!"

* * *

A few minutes later, after everyone had joined hands with someone holding a Chaos Emerald, the entire group of 47 heroes appeared on the cliffs of Candy Chateau, the cliffs not only resembling but actually tasting like English toffee with a layer of chocolate and boulder-sized peanuts on top. They all looked out at the ocean, where the approaching figure of a single floating vessel awaited them.

It had the appearance of a small Japanese sampan, a long wooden fishing vessel with curving edges and a low roofed section toward the back. Just a few distant figures could be seen inside. And the flag it displayed: that of a metal sphere with a crack shaped like an X, creating a glowing lime green rift.

The symbol of Microsoft.

* * *

***END OF BOOK ONE***

 **Author's Note:** We'll take off a week extra before moving on. Book 2 will begin on November 4th, 2016!


	11. Chapter 8: Down with the Ship

Book 2

The Islands

* * *

Chapter 8: Down with the Ship

* * *

 **The Copyright Wars**

 **Tairon**

* * *

 _ **E**_ _xecutions in the Vigoor Empire were not conducted by conventional means. Even with the old order of the Vigoorian Emperor destroyed and replaced by the more just rule of the Hayabusa ninja clan, the war had necessitated extreme methods in order to appease Microsoft's highest leaders. That was why the Sonian traitors would not simply be hanged or shot, but would become part of the ceremony that ensured the continuing favor of the powers that would win Microsoft the war._

 _Most of the evil Black Spider ninja clan had been destroyed by the Hayabusa under the direction of Ryu, their decorated leader—with the help of the Great Moon Deity, of course. The Black Spiders had to be dealt justice for their criminal pursuits and demonic dealings. One of their number, however, had been spared by order of the highest levels of Microsian administration for the purpose of playing a key part in the sacrificial ritual. Obaba: the witch-turned-spider-monster, whom they kept in a deep pit for whenever the ceremony was called for._

 _True—like the Black Spiders, the Hayabusa killed as well, but this was for a cause greater than selfish ambition or Satanic empowerment. This was different. This was for the greater good._

 _Despite being the region's capital, Tairon was a very isolated city in the middle of a vast range of savage, rocky mountains. It was virtually inaccessible except by air, and even then, almost impossible to find without knowing where it was, a cluster of blocky tan structures sinking under an equally tan, extremely rough wilderness. At night, when it was thought safe, it boasted impressive lights shining from the clock tower and projecting in wide, primary-colored beams from the Oriental architecture of the palace—almost like stage lights. It was an unexpected oasis of civilization in a barren landscape._

 _Yet on this occasion, it was not night, but morning, and the execution was to take place not in the city itself, but on an outcropping about half a mile away where Obaba's pit had been hewn. Some fifty ninjas were gathered in a perfect block to witness the event, while the two prisoners were stationed in front of a plank that ventured a few yards out over a black, seemingly bottomless hole. An unearthly clicking noise reverberated up from the pit's depths._

 _Ryu Hayabusa stood beside the Master Chief himself as the Strangerealeans were marched up to the plank. The ninja wore all black with a sleeveless leather shirt; a black mask decorated with a silver crest above the eyes; at least six knives sheathed on his thighs; a ragged scarf that trailed behind him; forearm guards; and the fabled Dragon Sword sheathed across his back._

 _"You've done well in capturing these traitors, Master Ryu," the Chief said as they observed the four ninjas moving the condemned men into position. "These pilots might have caused us considerable trouble if you and your spies hadn't intercepted them before their air raid."_

 _Ryu just nodded, not a man of many words._

 _Master Chief then addressed the block of ninjas. "It is time," he said, "for us to prove our gratitude to the Great Moon Deity for all he has done for our world. As we have in the past, let us dedicate this tribute not only as a plea for our Sonian brethren to lay aside all thoughts of betraying us, but as a gift to our deity, that he might grant us power in the coming battles. But first…" He turned to the men whose wrists were bound behind them. "If the offerings have any last words, let them speak."_

 _They weren't just any Strangerealeans. These prisoners, dressed in iron gray fighter pilot uniforms and with their faces bruised and bloodied from their capture, were Pixy and PJ—the two wingmen and closest friends of the legendary Cipher. Pixy, the one with fair hair and rebellious green eyes, spat on the ground and raised his voice without a trace of fear in it._

 _"You can kill us if you like; terrorize our homelands; threaten our loved ones; conquer the whole damn planet. Doesn't matter. Whatever gods you think are supporting you will only hasten your trip to Hell."_

 _Beside Pixy, PJ said nothing, his black face unreadable._

 _There was no reaction to Pixy's words—just a cold silence and the ominous clicking from within the pit._

 _Master Chief nodded to the ninjas, who forced the men onto the plank until they'd reached the very edge. Despite themselves, the men's hearts accelerated and their bodies grew stiff with skin-crawling terror. The Chief held up his hand to give the final signal._

 _Suddenly, Pixy and PJ jerked into action, shoving themselves into the ninjas at the base of the plank. One was caught off guard so completely that he found himself knocked off the edge by Pixy's kick, screaming as he disappeared into the darkness._

 _But with the pilots' hands bound, the remaining ninjas soon overpowered them. The Hayabusa glanced over at the Chief, who nodded again. They cast the prisoners unceremoniously into the chasm, resulting in an animalic screech as Obaba took care of her guests._

 _Again, not a single ninja moved an inch; the absence of any sort of reaction to the grotesque spectacle spoke volumes of the level of discipline they'd achieved under Ryu's tutelage._

 _Master Chief placed an armored hand on Ryu's shoulder. "Now, Master Ryu…let us prepare. The island of the Yoshis awaits our liberation…and the Great Moon Deity will be smiling upon us."_

* * *

The WarioWare Ark's voyage to Timber's Island, like Pit and Quill's flight to Atari, took just a couple days. The titanic airship had no trouble pushing across the sky as smoothly as a cruise ship—and if it hadn't been for the perilous nature of the passengers' mission, the ride might have felt as comfortable as a cruise as well.

For the most part, those with a less social temperament kept to themselves, which was good in that it prevented any unneeded fireworks from flying. The rest of the Smash Brothers mingled freely, almost forgetting at times that they were not in fact on a vacation, even though there were theaters, pools, gyms, cafeterias (where Kirby tended to confine himself), and other pleasures to enjoy.

Besides these options, they each found their own ways of passing the time. Gadd and L.O.G. focused as best they could on planning their method of approach for when they arrived at Timber's Island, although without a detailed map of the island or a knowledge of its current state (L.O.G. could recall some of the major regions, but not enough to form a very specific attack strategy), they were somewhat limited in that respect.

On one occasion, Bowser, Dedede, and DK engaged each other in a wrestling match in one of the gyms, which DK eventually won. Although all three were fueled by anger at Microsoft for its attack on Dreamland, the Kong was filled with so many other conflicting emotions—resentment toward Professor E. Gadd for his failure to call him to the Battle of Dreamland; anxiety for his Kong family which were now spread out all across Smash Planet; confusion at the budding memories of the loss of DK Isle during the Copyright Wars; fear for what had become of the other islands of this RareWare organization that he'd apparently once been a part of—that his fists were the only way for him to channel it all out, which his two opponents distinctly felt in a less than pleasant way.

Many other similar training activities took place: Gary battling Mewtwo with his Jolteon; Mario and Luigi facing off against Link and Sheik (Zelda's ninja-like alter ego); Nyna and Gotoh practicing magic with the Akaneian mages; Marth stabbing the Falchion Blade across Sandbags left and right in the gym; Pit shooting targets while flying and running across the deserted ballroom, pretending each one was Professor U. Reeka's face; and all sorts of physical training for the various armies that filled Nintendo's ranks.

Wario and Waluigi remained on the bridge, almost always alone except when Gadd would occasionally come in to check on their progress (the chamber smelled so bad that he kept his visits to less than 30 seconds each). They somehow managed to spend two whole days discussing all the things they would do with the undoubtedly enormous treasure they'd find in Gadd's abandoned mansion (the fifty thousand Coins had been almost completely spent on outfitting the Ark for the journey).

Every couple hours, Link had to tell Princess Ruto to stop stalking him and Zelda—especially in the evening when they tried to find space for a romantic moment on the top deck. He couldn't tell whether the Ruto giggled out of joy or jealous frustration every time he rooted her out of her hiding spot, so he put it out of his mind to the best of his ability.

When dark had fallen the first night, Dr. Clash led all who were interested on an elaborate tour of his garage of F-Zero Racers-turned-Fighters. During the early Smash Tournaments, he'd somehow found the time to build a racer for each of the Original 25, though a few of them had been damaged (or in the case of Fox's Landmaster GX, destroyed) during the perilous race against Samurai Goroh's gang, Blood Falcon, and Metal Captain Falcon. The nine Smashers on the Ark were given a firsthand look at their weapon-modified racers: Mario's fire-churning Red Blaze; Luigi's vacuum-like Poltergust 5000; Bowser's gyrating Shell Shocker; DK's barrel-shaped Banana Blaster; Link's crossbow-mounted Lightspeed Arrow; Zelda's shielded Fairy Flyer (Dr. Clash insisted on keeping the name despite her objections); Marth's azure dragon-shaped Reckoner; Kirby's rainbow-colored Hyper Star; and Mewtwo's Saturn-ringed Psywave (though the Pokémon doubted he would ever use it). A couple, including Dedede and Princess Ruto, were rather envious because they didn't have vehicles of their own.

Thus, the Ark proceeded without incident until the morning of the third day, when the Wario Brothers spotted Timber's Island and called the other leaders inside to rather reluctantly join them on the foul-smelling bridge.

"Gadzooks; that's it!" Gadd said excitedly. "And it could be my elderly eyesight, but I don't believe I see any Microsian warships down there."

"You are correct, professor," L.O.G. said, hovering beside him before the wall-sized window. "My visual receptors exceed that of the average human being by approximately 7.398 times, and the island appears to be deserted."

"That could be good or bad," Link said. "They might be setting us up for an ambush."

"And even if they are not," Zelda said, "why are there no civilians?"

Wario tilted the wheel and the Ark downward. "Let's a-find out."

As they approached, the island's features became more distinct for those who didn't have enhanced L.O.G. vision. It was a largely tropical island, with lakes and mountains, medieval-looking villages and shipwrecked lagoons, a range of snowy peaks opposing a smoking volcano. It was several miles across, a noticeable difference from the tiny Atari and Waffle Kingdom Islands, more comparable in size with Delfino and Yoshi's Islands.

Most notable, however, was the giant pig head engraved in a cliff face beside a roaring waterfall like a more protuberant Mt. Rushmore carving. The pig had a very wide face with rather crazed stone eyes and a petrified nose ring making it even uglier than it already was.

They landed in the middle of a large grassy plain between the beach and the pig head, there being no other open ground large enough to fit the Ark unless they dropped onto the shallows of the ocean.

The leaders began to disembark (Wario and Waluigi staying behind), but there was absolutely no sign of life apart from the grass and trees. It was as if the place had simply been forgotten by the world—a beautiful, well-kept secret that had been vacated with no sign of a struggle.

"Now what?" Bowser asked finally.

DK wandered over to the pig head, as if he could stare it down and force it to reveal the island's secrets. He was trying hard to remember what Diddy had told him about this place, but everything seemed fuzzy. But now, at least, he had yet another reason to blame Gadd.

"It was a mistake not to bring Diddy and Conker," he said, looking pointedly at the professor. "They know this island better than anyone, except maybe Timber himself. Now we're stuck here with no idea where to go…and I'll bet when we get to the Isle o' Hags, we'll have the same problem without Banjo & Kazooie."

To his surprise, Gadd nodded. "You're right, lad. I regret sending all our former RareWare islanders on _The King's Krystal_ ; they would've been a great help to us. By chance, did Diddy Kong tell you much about the races he used to participate in here?"

DK strained his mind, trying to ignore his lingering irritation. "All I remember is that this island's owned by Timber the tiger, but several of the other racers lived here, too. Taj was sort of the leader, and all of 'em had to face their nemesis." He turned toward the pig head. "Wizpig, I think his name was. From what Diddy told me, he was some idiot who thought he could literally squash his competition. But these guys were so united that they took him down like the story of David the Chimp pummeling Goliath the Gorilla."

"Who's Taj?" Gary asked.

Gadd chuckled, as if the question were some kind of inside joke between him and himself. "He's that blue, turban-wearing elephant who rode a magic carpet and shot bolts of energy at Master Hand's armies in the Battlefields. He came with the rest of Diddy's racing friends."

"Oh…that guy," Dedede said, forgetting the fact that he'd deserted the Smash Brothers' armies by the time Taj and his reinforcements arrived.

" _I sense…a presence,"_ Mewtwo said suddenly, hovering over toward the waterfall.

"Well, it sure ain't the presence of your noggin's brain," Dedede chortled. "That's just a run-o'-the-mill, cascadin' wall o' water."

Princess Ruto was drawn to the pool as well. "No…he's right. There' a cave inside there. Watch!" She dived with fish-like elegance, disappearing into the waterfall. Then a voice muffled by the torrent: "Come on! This place is pretty cool!"

Not all of them were willing to brave the wetness to share her discovery—particularly L.O.G., who feared the water would short-circuit his freshly repaired hard drive. Mario, Luigi, DK, Kirby, Gadd, Pit, Link, Marth, Gary, and Mewtwo submitted themselves to the high-pressured soaking of the liquid veil and soon found themselves in a wide, rounded cave lit by mounted lanterns. Other than a few crags and clusters of boulders, the only interesting feature of the hidden chamber seemed to be a series of golden-arched doors cut into the rock, the wooden doors painted green. Four of them also had pictures of shiny teal balloons, while the large one at the center featured a giant sapphire-colored elephant head, smiling out at them benevolently from his disproportionately small pupils, his magenta, emerald-embedded turban giving him his appropriate genie appearance.

"These portals go to some of the racetracks, I think," DK said as they tried to make sense of the place.

"Do you hear a-that?" Luigi could have sworn that in spite of the roaring waterfall behind them, he could make out a soft sniffling, whimpering noise coming from one of the boulders closest to the two brothers.

"Hello?" Mario also heard it, and the two of them tentatively approached the boulder and moved around the side to see what was hiding beyond.

"Please don't hurt me," the yellow mouse squeaked, still whimpering and sniffling and trembling something terrible. She wore a pink polka-dotted bow, red gloves, and a white T-shirt, her round ears just reaching Mario's waist.

Luigi's heart softened. He extended a hand in what he hoped was a friendly gesture. "Don't a-worry; we're not a-going to hurt you. We want to help!"

As the other Smash Brothers rounded the edge to take a look at the refugee as well, she stopped trembling and crying at the sight of DK. She scurried past Luigi as if he wasn't even there and approached the Kong.

"You're one of Diddy's family, right?"

DK was taken aback by her familiarity. "Uh…yeah. Who are you, again?"

"I'm Pipsy. Such horrible things've happened…I'm so glad you're here." She hugged DK's burly forearm with her tiny arms, resting her head against his fur like a long-lost pillow.

The Kong family leader placed an uncertain hand on her back. Of all the things he'd expected to find here, a lone terrified mouse had not been one of them.

"It's gonna be ok," he said.

After an uncomfortably long time, Pipsy relinquished her grip and faced the rest of them. "You guys need to get out of here. They've all gone, but they could come back at any time…."

"Hi!"

Kirby waddled up to her, beaming, and shook hand stubs, which seemed to cheer up the mouse slightly.

Gadd approached Pipsy next, only a few inches taller than her. "We'll get you out of here as soon as we can, little lass. But you said something horrible's happened; was there an attack?"

She nodded. "Microsoft. They came and took all my friends…Timber…Tiptup…Bumper…Krunch…T.T…Drumstick…all gone…."

Gadd stroked his chin. "They must have taken the other racers prisoner. But at least that means they're still alive. By the way, where's Taj? Is he not the protector of this island?"

"Taj…" Pipsy's eyes began to water all over again, and her next words came as a barely audible squeak.

"Taj is dead."

* * *

As they gazed out from Candy Chateau at the waiting Microsian boat, Tetra felt her pocket vibrate. She took out her communicator.

"I think it's them," she said, pressing the "A" button that answered the call. There was no video on the screen—just shifting wavelengths representing the volume and pitch of the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Is this Captain Tetra?"

"Sure is. Who's this?"

"I am called the Master Chief. You'll see me and a few of my Vigoorian comrades out to sea."

She looked up and, indeed, a solitary figure raised an arm aboard the small wooden boat, the Hayabusa ninjas attending to the boat's navigation—or lack thereof, since at this point it had come to a stop. Tetra raised an arm in return.

"What brings you to Sony, Master Chief?"

"I received word in Microsoft of Nintendo's voyage to the Sonians. I think this is an excellent opportunity for all of our worlds to come together and make peace."

"Peace?" Tetra couldn't hide the sarcasm and contempt in her voice. "Yeah, because blowing up King Dedede's Castle and murdering hundreds of our people just screams diplomacy."

"A gross misunderstanding that we wish to make up for. We were misled by unreliable informants who claimed Nintendo was on the verge of a full-scale invasion of our world. Taking preemptive action was merely the natural response to best protect our homes—an instinct I'm sure your people would understand, given your history with Master Hand."

The pirate couldn't believe the crap that was coming out of this space man's mouth, but she decided it was time to get to the point.

"Come on shore, then, and we'll talk."

"Unfortunately, that's not possible."

"Why not?"

"Because we still wish to honor our truce with Sony, promising them we won't set foot on their lands until such time that another agreement is made."

That surprised her a little. "Then what do you propose?"

"If you send your Nintendonian ship— _The King's Krystal_ —you can meet us where we stand, and together we can discuss how to establish peaceful relations once more between all our worlds."

Tetra snickered. "And why should we trust you?"

"You need not trust us. Simply look and see: We are unarmed. We are alone. You can feel free to bring all the security and firepower you'd like if that makes you feel safer. My only request is that you not deal violently with my Hayabusa friends; they are here only to help."

 _No violence? That's rich coming from them,_ Tetra thought scathingly. But she realized even though she didn't trust Master Chief, it might be worth hearing what they had to say, and if the _Krystal_ was armed to the teeth, surely a small boat of four weaponless men could pose no serious threat to their safety. If anything at all went amiss, she'd give the order and blast them all out of the water and down to Davy Jones's Locker.

She turned and explained the situation to a few of those closest to her.

"What do we think?"

"Hm…" Meta Knight traced a nonsensical pattern on the chocolate frosting of the toffee cliff with Galaxia. "It could very well be a trap. Clearly, the Master Chief is not giving us the whole story…."

"No way," Diddy said. "He's gotta have something up his sleeve."

"I agree with Diddy Kong," Quentin said, his arms folded pensively. "We do this, and we play right into their hands and rely only on their goodwill to keep their word."

"Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me," Captain Falcon said.

"We can't trust any of those guys with anything after all they've done to us," said Sonic.

Tikal turned to Snake. "You have been unusually quiet, Solid Snake. What say you?"

Of all who were present, one would think that the FOXHOUND leader would be the first to denounce any possibility of meeting with Master Chief. Yet he had his eyes fixed on the small figure of the Microsian boat, a thoughtful expression on his face that hid well any vengeful urges he might have been feeling.

"We must do it."

" _What?"_ Diddy exclaimed. "Seriously? Why?"

"Hear me out," the weathered soldier said. "Suppose we say no. Even if they turned around and left us alone—which I doubt—they would soon be back with much less subtle tactics…and they would not give us a chance next time to prepare for the confrontation. Now, we have the advantage of time…and surprise. So let us bring _The King's Krystal_ to them—but let us do so on our own terms, with everyone both onboard and off ready to fight at a moment's notice. And should our worst fears be realized and things turn sour, let us bring a Chaos Emerald to carry the ship's passengers out of harm's way."

The others had nothing to say in objection. It was a good plan.

"Let's do it, then," Tetra said. "In case things take a turn for the worse, though, I'm gonna make some changes to our crew so we'll have enough of our people on your mainland to keep in touch, and enough of yours with us to 'negotiate' with this Master Chief…verbally or otherwise."

* * *

The Chaos Emeralds couldn't teleport _The King's Krystal_ itself along with all its passengers, but they did make the trip back to the bay in Mobius almost instantaneous for Tetra's newly selected crew. The biggest changes made were in those among the original crew who'd been asked to stay behind—at least for this little diplomacy meeting. All the Kongs except Diddy and Dixie; all the Mobians except Shadow (being the most adept with the Chaos Emeralds, he'd been designated as the key to their escape should the need arise); Peach, Perry, and Toadsworth—these were those who were chosen to stay behind with the rest of the Sony All-Stars, who would all be watching the proceedings, ready to pitch in at a moment's notice. The rest of them—Tetra; Niko; the Kremlings; Toon Link; Yoshi; Red; Quentin; Falco; Meta Knight; Samus; Captain Falcon; the Ice Climbers; Mr. Game  & Watch; Prince Peasley; Banjo & Kazooie; Roy; Ness; Diddy; Shadow; Conker—reboarded the ship, now joined by Snake, Sackboy, and Megaman, the three All-Stars who'd volunteered to help with the negotiations (though how Sackboy would communicate with anyone, let alone the Microsians, remained unclear). This brought their party to a grand total of 24, plus the dozen remaining Kremlings.

They sailed out of the bay and down Sony's western coast. At one point, their maps showed that the mainland's border would make a curving right angle to the west, so they set out on a southwesterly course to cut the distance shorter. Tetra had informed the Master Chief that it would be a few hours before they made it to Candy Chateau, which they did without incident. Along the way, the Nintendonians admired the three Tasmanian Islands that Crash Bandicoot called home, each one smaller than the last: North Sanity Island with its lush green landscape and cloud-ringed mountains; Wumpa Island with its giant tree at the center; and Cortex Island with its rocky, twisting fortress not unlike the Cooper mountain base on Kaine Island.

They pressed on and soon spotted Sony's coast once more—only, this was the marshy terrain that was nearest to Spyro's Dragon Temple. The landscape beyond the beach became steadily drier as they went until finally, the sandy rock gave way to cookie crumbs and sugar crystals and, ultimately, the toffee cliffs of Candy Chateau.

It felt strange to Snake (and, no doubt, his comrades) to be looking up at his fellow Sonians and Nintendonians so soon after being up there with them. Now, the toffee cliffs towered above them, the white foam of the ocean spraying like milk and slowly eroding the sweet sediment. And of course, not a football field away, the Vigoorian boat bobbed up and down, as still as if it were on an unremarkable fishing expedition. As they approached at a pace that felt ever so slow, Snake couldn't help but think… _had he made a mistake?_

But nothing exploded; no guns appeared or fired even as they pulled up right alongside one another, the Hayabusa vessel dwarfed by the majestic hull of _The King's Krystal_ , the Microsian flag fluttering as if to reach the Nintendonian emblem on the mast above it.

They made anchor…and waited.

The Master Chief stood and came out from the low-roofed shelter at the back of the boat and faced them, his hands empty but his armor gleaming in a rather unsettling way.

"Too long it's been since we three worlds convened," he said. "I'm impressed by your galleon; it's grander than I'd expected, fit for the king whose crystal it once was."

Diddy didn't take kindly to the Spartan's reference to K. Rool's untimely demise. "What do you want, Chief? What could you possibly offer us to make up for the murders your armies've committed?"

The Master Chief began to pace back and forth, hands behind his back. "Do not be too hasty to lay the blame, Diddy Kong. Though your memory may not be what it once was, I assure you no hands were clean in the carnage of the Copyright Wars—including the battle that caused your former home to meet its end."

"Liar!" the chimp shrieked, an untapped anger welling up inside him from ages past. "Microsoft's the one that began the Copyright Wars, and Nintendo's the one who ended it. You tried to seize lands that weren't yours and threatened Sony with death if it didn't help you."

"That…is _one_ story you might tell," the Chief said. "But I'm afraid it only proves you've been consorting with the wrong sources. The self-proclaimed renegade ambassador, L.O.G…him and his lofty RareWare ideals for the islands, I'm afraid, cannot be trusted. And as for the Sony bit…" He came to a sudden halt, his demeanor a lot less casual. "Your version of it can only mean one thing: You are harboring a fugitive among you."

"What are you talking about?" Tetra said. "I thought the peace accords at the end of your war freed our worlds from any obligation to one another, other than to leave each other well enough alone."

"Indeed it did," the Chief said. "That is, except for the surrender of one war criminal we of Microsoft demanded the right to bring to justice: Solid Snake."

The soldier, who until now had kept himself near the back to stay out of sight, shoved his way forward and gave a bitter laugh.

"Master Chief…I knew you didn't have the guts to hold a respectable parlay. You didn't then…and you sure as Hell don't now. If you think I owe your army of heartless assassins so much as an 'I'm sorry,' you've got another thing coming."

The Spartan folded his arms and shook his head in an apparent pretense of disappointment. "This is most unfortunate, Smash Brothers and All-Stars. I'd hoped to resolve this incidental business without conflict…which is why I must insist that you give me Snake—now. You cannot recall the atrocities he performed against us, but we remember well, and my people will demand that he stand trial in Microsoft's courts and receive due justice. I give you this one chance to do so willingly…but that is all."

Falco pounced onto the edge of _The King's Krystal_ and called the Master Chief something obscene. "Forget it, bucket head; you can kiss our tail feathers!"

From Banjo's backpack, Kazooie nodded fervently; that falcon spoke in the true Breegull spirit, using the exact words she'd been about to utter herself.

"Then you leave me no choice."

Master Chief and the Hayabusa ninjas on the boat remained stationary, but the water did not. Several areas around _The King's Krystal_ began to bubble as if there were boiling cauldrons beneath each spot, and then the perpetrators of these phenomena rose to the surface.

Submarines—or more technically known as Bathyspheres. The giant metal eyeballs shone beams of yellow light up at the ship, beams whose edges were powerful and distinct even at midday. With hulking Big Daddies inside, they prepared to launch torpedoes attached to each side.

At the same time, the Cloaking Devices unveiled their users a bit farther out to sea—the same kind of device Diddy had once used to battle the Shadow Hand in Fourside Colosseum, although he couldn't have known their design was courtesy of Microsoft's Carrington Institute. The devices revealed a large Seran battleship, with three Spartan gunships lurking above.

"You birds and your fat, sassy mouths…" Banjo sighed.

Niko rushed up to Tetra. "To the cannons, Captain?"

"No." The pirate was almost petrified by the sophisticated sea machines that had suddenly lined up against them—especially the submerged vessels that were somehow hauntingly familiar to her. "We won't stand a chance with these odds; it's too late for the _Krystal._ Abandon ship! Shadow, the Chaos Emerald!"

Shadow held up the green gem. "Chaos…CON—"

He was cut off by a razor-tipped shuriken that knocked the Emerald out of his hand at the last moment, causing it to drop into the ocean and sink—too quickly for anyone to be able to recover it anytime soon.

"Why, you…" Shadow eyed the ninja who had tossed the deadly metal snowflake from the Chief's boat. At the same time, at least a dozen more ninjas appeared on board the _Krystal_ itself, having somehow snuck onto the deck during the conversation from who-knew-where.

"You'll regret that!" Without hesitation, Shadow leapt off the ship toward the enemy's boat, and to his surprise he found three fellow heroes jumping alongside him, the flame of battle kindled in their eyes: Meta Knight, Falco, and Snake. They descended onto the boat, the four of them against three Hayabusa ninjas and the Master Chief himself.

Back at Candy Chateau, those on the cliff watched in horror as Microsoft's cloaked strike force appeared.

"We've gotta do something," Sonic said. "All of you who've got ranged weapons…attack now!"

Some of them were fairly helpless in this situation with their lack of projectiles, but the rest let loose a colorful barrage of attacks. Tails drew out his arm blaster cannon and fired a trio of crackling yellow energy balls down at the enemies. Knuckles ripped sugary chunks of chocolate out of the cliff and hurled them as far as he could. Amy served giant peanut chunks to herself and volleyed them down with her hammer, while Big the Cat fly-fished more of them with his fishing rod like some kind of handheld trebuchet. Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky shot feathers, grapes, and pineapples from their respective fruit launchers. Peach held Perry in front of her; the parasol narrowed his eyes in concentration and sent energy projections of himself. Spyro peppered the air with bursts of seething flames. Rayman fired several plungers from his Plunger Gun, the rubber-ended sticks wobbling through the air like inebriated birds. Jak shot balls of Yellow Eco from his Morph Gun. Ratchet launched time-and-space-rattling missiles from his current weapon, The Arbiter, while his companion Ratchet dispatched an orange beam from his Geo-laser.

It was an impressive attempt, but when every one of the projectiles was absorbed into a transparent force field a hundred feet above the battle, it all came to naught. In an instant, the attacks were all gone as if they'd fallen into a puddle in the middle of the air, the only evidence of the barrier being the blue hexagons that had lit up at the spots where the projectiles made contact. But even those visual remnants soon disappeared.

Then the three gunships came up to the edge of the invisible barrier and fired everything they had at the base of the precarious cliff—causing a dreadful _crack_ as a large portion of the toffee broke away from the rest and began to collapse.

They scrambled to escape the falling edge, Daxter and Cream just barely hopping over the widening rift before it toppled over entirely. A few seconds later, it smashed into the water, creating a tremendous splash that almost reached the battle out at sea.

"Whoa…" Crash Bandicoot watched the geological event with awe. "How are we gonna help them now, dudes?"

Tikal's face was grim. "I am afraid there's nothing more we _can_ do. We cannot risk losing any more Chaos Emeralds trying to get them out—and I have a feeling that Energy Shield would not permit us to do so even if we tried."

All they could do was watch as their friends were battered by Microsoft on every side. It was not a spectacle any of them would be likely to soon forget.

Although the Bathyspheres refrained from firing their torpedoes while their ninja allies were still on board, the Big Daddies inside had no qualms about leaving their subs on remote control. They rocketed out of the water, landing on the ship with board-cracking _thumps_ , their thick diving suits, glowing helmets, and spinning drill arms causing even more concern than the ninjas. The Seran battleship, meanwhile, seemed to just slowly draw nearer as it watched the fight progress.

On the deck, those who hadn't leapt onto Master Chief's boat faced off against the assorted ninjas and Big Daddies. Diddy and Dixie tag teamed a pair of ninjas, twirling and flipping around their equally agile opponents. The Ice Climbers grabbed each other's hands and spun with their hammers pointed out, flooring anyone who got within several feet of them. Peasley sparred a ninja up in the masts, rapier against dagger, using the rigging and crossbeams as leverage. Toon Link, Niko, and Tetra fought back to back at the base of the central mast with swords drawn, keeping an eye out for any creeping foes. Red sent out Pikachu and Jigglypuff to take on a particularly swift ninja with coordinated Headbutts and Rollouts. Yoshi swiped ninjas to the ground with unexpected swings of his tail and took potshots with his eggs at others jumping through the air. Conker stood in the crow's nest, chittering with pleasure as he rained machine gun fire down upon the elusive invaders, somehow managing not to hit any of his allies.

The rest took on the bigger Rapturian enemies. Game & Watch, Roy, and Ness combined their Judgment Hammer, Binding Blade, and PK Thunder against two of the hulking creatures on the poop deck, who responded in turn with lethal jabs of their drills that drove through the wood like tissue paper. Banjo & Kazooie fought another one all on their own, Banjo dodging its somewhat sluggish swings while Kazooie spat Grenade Egg after Grenade Egg at its helmet, soon shattering it and going in for the finishing move with a hard peck to the cranium. Captain Falcon and Samus assaulted a Big Daddy from the front and the rear, Samus distracting it with small Charge Shots while the other bounty hunter sped around the back, jumped, and punched straight through the helmet, KO'ing it instantly before the two of them moved on to the next one. At the prow, the two other All-Stars faced two more Rapturians: Megaman fought one with crackling Spark Shots and gusty Air Shooters, while Sackboy flung acidic ink balls at the other with a slingshot, the black liquid burning its way through diving suit and helmet alike.

On the Vigoorian boat, each hero was engaged in a one-on-one match. Shadow began with a kick to the head of the ninja who had deprived him of his Chaos Emerald. He curled into a black ball and rolled around the man until he'd caused a satisfactory level of dizziness and confusion, then dodged a series of blind jabs from the ninja and surged up and bowled him into the cold ocean water.

Falco grunted as his ninja struck out with unexpected speed, knocking the bird back and almost over the side.

"You like fast, do ya?" he said with a grin. "Well, then you should love this!"

He tossed and activated his blue Reflector, which flashed before the ninja's eyes and briefly stunned him—long enough for Falco to draw his blaster and shoot him several times in the chest, finishing with a kick to the face.

Meta Knight literally fought cloak and dagger as the Hayabusa swung at him with an ugly serrated knife, forcing the Smash Brother to use his Dimensional Cape to vanish and reappear on the other side to avoid being carved like a turkey. He blocked the ninja's attacks with Galaxia when he could, keeping an eye out for the rest of the boat's occupants all the while.

What Snake lacked in brute strength (which he did have, just not in comparison to a space-armored superhuman) he made up for in agility. He ducked under Master Chief's swing and landed a direct kick to the chest, but to his dismay, his target barely budged from the blow.

Master Chief laughed and grabbed Snake's leg, flipping him onto the roof of the boat.

"I had thought you were done causing the deaths of your friends, soldier…but I guess you need another reminder."

He kicked the downed agent in the gut, then brought his armored fist down onto Snake's knee, cracking the bone. Snake cried out in pain and shuffled away, drawing a pistol even though he knew it would be no good against the Spartan's suit.

"Pathetic." The Chief swiped the pistol out of Snake's hand. "Desperate." He pinned the man's body to the ground with his foot and drew a gun of his own—one that Snake had a feeling would not have much regard for a Kevlar vest. He pointed it at Snake's head.

"You're a disgrace to your people, you know; you've caused them more pain than I ever could….Sony will be well rid of you. I'll be doing them a favor."

But the Chief was not prepared for the intrusion of Meta Knight, who severed the tip of his blaster with one fell swoosh of Galaxia. While the Spartan was distracted, Snake smirked and drew a grenade, pulling the pin.

"If I take you down with me, it'll be me doing Sony a favor."

Unfortunately, it was at that moment that a gunship came down for the Master Chief to jump aboard, while Snake and his three companions barely had time to leap into the water before his grenade blew the Vigoorian boat to smithereens.

Meanwhile, with the Seran battleship nearly upon them and the Kremling crew members suffering from the onslaught of ninjas and Big Daddies, Quentin decided it was time. He stepped out of the captain's quarters where he'd been meditating, drew the Omni Ball, and tossed it overboard. Red couldn't help but stop and watch his father for a moment as Pikachu and Jigglypuff took on their ninja.

From within the water sprang forth an enormous white creature with long, segmented wings and dark blue streaks across its eyes and back. It cooed a deep, resonant song like a melodic whale, drawing the attention of all who weren't otherwise engaged. It was Ho-oh's spiritual Pokémon sibling: Lugia.

"Hold on!" Quentin bellowed to his friends aboard _The King's Krystal._

They all managed to escape whatever current scuffles they were locked in and found a beam, rope, anything firm to grab onto as even the enemy was entranced by Lugia's imminent display of magnificence.

It flapped above the water, pounding its wings and creating not just a Whirlwind, but a gale-force Aeroblast that tipped the _Krystal_ onto its side, causing the unprepared Hayabusa to flounder and the Big Daddies to sink with their immense weight to the bottom of the ocean where they would survive, but for the time being would be relatively useless.

The attack gave pause even to the battleship, which came to an uncertain halt. Several of the unoccupied Bathyspheres rolled over, one of them even unintentionally firing its torpedoes into the air, conveniently striking a Spartan gunship and causing it to explode. Another gunship went in to attack Lugia directly, which decision the pilot immediately regretted when he became the recipient of a vicious Wing Attack, sending it spiraling along with the hurricane winds right into the cliff face of Candy Chateau, leaving the Microsians with just their single gunship and the battleship.

"Time to extract and exterminate," Master Chief's electronic voice echoed from the gunship. "Unleash the Hammer of Dawn."

Falco spluttered water as he and the others grabbed onto _The King's Krystal_ like a buoy. "The Hammer of what?"

Snake paled. "We must leave—now."

But by then, it was too late. A huge net had been cast from the nearby battleship, ensnaring three of the four who had jumped onto the Vigoorian boat (Falco just barely escaped), and began to reel them in like sea bass. Those on the _Krystal_ could see that another net was being prepared; they were next.

Lugia turned to the battleship and prepared to execute a ship-splitting Psywave followed by a Hydro Pump for good measure. But it was then that the "Hammer of Dawn" descended. From space.

It came as a series of blood-orange columns of light, though to Snake's surprise, the Seran weapon was concentrated on a very specific target as opposed to the widespread, genocidal uses he'd seen in the past. The columns struck Lugia like searing sunrays of divine wrath, completely consuming the Legendary Pokémon and leaving nothing behind.

"NO!" Quentin bellowed as the weapon left the water churning as if they were back in the storm with the Big Octos all over again. He tossed the Omni Ball again, which gave way to the biggest Pokémon Red had ever seen: Wailord, whose size trumped even that of a blue whale, though that was very much what it resembled. It turned to the struggling survivors of the _Krystal_ and opened its mouth like the Cave of Wonders tiger from _Aladdin_.

"We must get inside!" Quentin shouted to them, as if it were a warm cabin from which they'd be insulated from a cold night.

"Uh…" Kazooie was having second thoughts about the Pokémon Master's directive when he turned and saw Master Chief on his gunship, turrets and blasters aimed at the sinking ship. "Okey-dokey, then."

The Wailord opened its mouth wider, causing water to begin rushing into it like a drain. First Quentin and Red disappeared inside…then Banjo & Kazooie…and Mr. Game & Watch…and Megaman…and—

The gunship opened fire, blasting off large parts of _The King's Krystal_ , the main mast cracking in half like a pretzel stick, the Nintendo logo sinking sadly below the surface. Despite the hope of the whale Pokémon's escape route, those still clinging onto the shipwreck found it difficult to break free, for some of the ninjas and a couple Big Daddies had actually clung onto it as well and were still out for blood despite the circumstances being dire for everyone. What was more, with the gunship trained on them, they would surely all be dead in a matter of seconds…

"You go, Captain!" Niko yelled, climbing onto the falling mast and running down its horizontal length toward the gunship. He and Conker, who had still been in the crow's nest shooting the entire time regardless of the mast's rupture, seemed to realize there was only one way their friends would survive: They had to take on the gunship.

"Get out of here, guys!" Conker concurred, joining Niko as the two of them bounded into the gunship, tackling two Spartans to the floor with gun and sword raised. "DIE!"

"Niko!"

"Conker!"

Tetra and Diddy watched in amazement as their friends contended hopelessly against the gunship in a last attempt to give them more time.

"Well," Falco said, "I say we respect their final wish." He and the rest continued paddling toward the Wailord's mouth.

Unfortunately, even with the gunship distracted and most of the remaining foes beaten back into the water, the heroes had forgotten about the battleship, which cast another net of incredibly strong material that quickly tangled all who came in contact with it. The only others who were close enough to escape into the Wailord were the two Kongs and the two Ice Climbers—except as fortune would have it, both pairs were split by the net's monstrous clutches.

"Popo!"

"Nana!"

The Ice Climbers screamed to each other as the grasp on their hands was severed, leaving Nana to be sucked into the Wailord and Popo reaching out to her through the net.

"Diddy!"

"Dixie!"

The same thing happened to the chimp couple, Dixie forced from her boyfriend and drained into the surprisingly warm fish, its hot breath blowing through her wet hair as she spiraled into the darkness of its belly.

And there wasn't much left to do after that. The rest were reeled in to the battleship as Microsoft's freshly caught prisoners. The gunship soon restabilized and attempted to shoot the Wailord, but it had already dived down into the depths of the sea, although the aftereffects of the Hammer of Dawn made its path more than a little irregular, as if the Eastern Australian Current had become sentient and twisted itself into a Gordian Knot, with no hint of where its passengers would be coughed out.

The gunship and battleship turned to go. Two of the Big Daddies had managed to return to their Bathyspheres. They set off their torpedoes, signifying the official end for _The King's Krystal_ with a fiery blast that curled in on itself as it rose into the air, consuming what was left of K. Rool's crew and his memory.

And all the while, those on Candy Chateau could only watch in horror as the _Krystal_ exploded and sank out of sight, the results of this battle too terrible to contemplate.

"Well," Sly Cooper said, the hook of his family's cane resting on his shoulder, "that could've gone better."


	12. Chapter 9: The Gods We Worship

Chapter 9: The Gods We Worship

* * *

" _ **O**_ h dear," L.O.G. said in response to Pipsy's news. "This is an irregularity of the most catastrophic type. Indeed, I daresay our mission has just become quite a bit more complicated."

By then, they had exited the waterfall-hidden cave and were gathered on the grassy field with Pipsy, discussing this latest tragedy.

"Sorry to sound insensitive and all," Bowser said. "I'm sure this Taj genie person was a great guy, but what's his being dead got to do with the complexity of our mission?"

L.O.G. blinked as the computer mouse leapt off his shoulder and cuddled next to Pipsy's face in an attempt to comfort. "Taj is not only the protector of Timber's Island; in addition, he was the leader and one of the founders of RareWare. He was renowned for his diplomatic prowess, negotiating peace treaties with Microsoft to leave them be even before the Copyright Wars concluded. He did in fact unite our islands—along with the Enchanted Kingdom, Carrington Institute, and Willow Woods on Microsoft's mainland—such that our bond was strong enough to withstand the devastating consequences of the war. I had hoped to consult with him in our current efforts, but obviously that is no longer possible."

"How did it happen, Pipsy?" Gadd asked. "If you don't mind my asking."

"It was awful…" Pipsy shuddered. "Those mean creatures with their sparkly magic…we never stood a chance. They came in the middle of the night, took us before we could do anything. I only escaped because I'd gotten up for a drink of water, and when I saw them I ran and hid in the cave. But before I did…I saw what they did to Taj." Her eyes welled up with tears again. "He fought through a lot of them, but there were just too many. And then _she_ came…." She began bawling.

"'She?' Who's 'she?'" Gadd asked.

But DK glared at the professor and shook his head, taking Pipsy in another embrace. "That's enough, Pipsy. Thanks a bunch. You've been really brave, and now we'll get you somewhere safe. Let's get outta here." He began walking her by the hand toward the stationed WarioWare Ark.

Suddenly, she stopped crying and sniffled. "Wait."

DK and the rest of the Smash Brother entourage came to a halt. "What is it, Pipsy? Didn't you say they could be back any time and we should leave as soon as we can?"

"Yes, but…" She wiped her nose with a tiny hand. "We have to get the Memory Lamp first."

"The what?" Marth asked.

"Taj's Memory Lamp…he recorded all his most important secrets on it in case anything should happen."

"Which it did," Bowser said.

"He kept it in the Ancient Chamber and hid it somewhere safe inside so that it would never fall into the wrong hands."

"Like Microsoft's," DK said.

Gadd nodded. "Very well, lass; how shall we proceed, then? Where is this 'Ancient Chamber?'"

Pipsy pointed at the giant Wizpig head carved in the cliff.

"Ham?" Kirby said hopefully.

"Of course," Dedede groaned. "Well, how we gonna get in if that swine's mouth's sealed shut like a cranberry pie on Thanksgivin'?"

"Does that analogy even make sense?" Pit said.

"We've gotta get the four pieces of the Wizpig Medallion," said Pipsy.

"And we do that by…?" Jody Summer prompted. Even she, with all her professional patience, was getting winded by all this chatter.

"By winning all the races on Timber's Island and beating the bosses."

Gary, as unfamiliar as he was with this world, knew a lost cause when he saw one. "That's gonna be difficult without anyone to race against. And I don't think we'll have time to go around the whole island collecting jewelry; is the Memory Lamp really that—"

"No need to fret, squirts; we've got you covered!"

That was when the four "bosses" of whom Pipsy spoke made their dramatic entrance from the direction of the beach: a burgundy triceratops; a blue walrus; an orange octopus; and a yellow-red dragon.

Pipsy eyed the octopus curiously. "I didn't know you could walk on land."

The cephalopod made a show of crawling across the grass on his tentacles. "That's because you never got to know me, pipsqueak," he gurgled.

 _I don't think I'd ever_ want _to get to know him,_ Luigi thought, noticing his seething suction cups.

It was the dinosaur who had first spoken. He clomped up to Pipsy. "We saw that ship land near the field and decided to come see what's up, just in case those freaks came back for more, you know. But looks like you're among friends, so all's well that ends well."

"Anyways," the dragon hissed, "if it's the Wizpig Medallion you're after, we brought all the pieces with us. We'll assemble 'em now so you can get that Memory Lamp and hightail it out of here."

"Gee, thanks!" Pipsy squeaked as the four creatures gave up their quadrants of the blue-gold medallion—which, of course, featured Wizpig's hideous face. "You saved us a lot of time."

"Yeah, I'm sick of getting my butt kicked at kart races," Bowser admitted, avoiding eye contact with the Mario Brothers, who were sporting poorly concealed grins.

DK watched as the medallion pieces joined together, rose into the air of their own volition, and floated toward the stone Wizpig. "And just think what we'd have had to go through to collect that stuff. We'd have gone on a long, tangential, almost pointless adventure that would've bored anyone reading about us out of their minds."

The walrus chortled. "Don't mention it. Just give those bullies a piece of our minds, will ya?"

Now the medallion had activated, shining and transforming the stone head into a very disturbing, lifelike replica of Wizpig's living, breathing head. It snorted and opened its mouth, glaring at them with its insidious yellow eyes.

"Don't a-worry," Mario said as they moved toward the mouth. "That's what we're a-here for."

* * *

Once they'd stepped inside the Ancient Chamber, it felt as if they'd entered some kind of long-abandoned pagan temple—except for the fact that the torches and candles inside were somehow still lit.

It was similar to the cave behind the waterfall, but quite a bit larger, and much darker in the sense that whatever light the wall-mounted torches provided was limited to a small radius, beyond which the darkness seemed to be kept at bay like some immaterial shadow monster. Lining the walls that led up to the central domed chamber were portraits of the various racers of Timber's Island, including Diddy Kong, Conker, and even Banjo, who had occasionally participated in the races with the rest, being the closest thing to a next-door neighbor the island had. A candle was lit at the base of each frame, as if in mourning of each of the individuals' deaths.

But the main attraction was at the center: a huge portrait of Wizpig himself—only, now his neckless head was attached to a thick porcine body garbed in a purple robe and cape, his horns jutting upward like those of a demon. This picture was lit by at least a dozen candles both above and below, reminding Luigi a little too much of some of the portraits he'd become acquainted with during his time in Gadd's abandoned mansion. And as if that weren't enough, in front of the painting on a raised dais was a ten-foot golden statue of Wizpig, his arms raised like a cheesy zombie trying to scare air-headed blondes in a sci-fi B-Movie. Yet in this case, his posture was not cheesy at all, but genuinely creepy, his shadow casting itself across the floor and wall behind him.

"This place reeks of dark magic," Gotoh remarked, feeling his way cautiously into the room. "Of evil, even."

Princess Nyna furrowed her brow. "I agree. It seems to be some sort of shrine dedicated to this…beast. The sooner we may depart, the better, I think."

L.O.G., on the other hand, appeared fascinated by the find, as if they'd just come upon a historic archaeological dig. "Wizpig was also a founding member of RareWare," he said. "That is, until he attempted to manipulate his power to create his own empire out of the islands."

Pipsy giggled. "Yeah, until we chased him away into outer space."

DK grinned. "Man, I'm kind of wishing I'd joined Diddy in your races now. This guy seems like the kind of brute you'd get a real kick out of giving a good wallop."

Pipsy thought of Drumstick, who had been chief among the racers and had defeated Wizpig the first time. And then they'd actually gone into space and Diddy had raced the pig, plane versus rocket. After Wizpig's second defeat, he accidentally marooned himself, which pretty well guaranteed he'd bother them no longer.

"You have no idea."

"So this Memory Lamp device," Dr. Clash said, more interested in technology than on telling tales of old foes. "Where might we find it?"

"Also, who would build a shrine to Wizpig if he got his bacon burned so badly?" Bowser made a mental note to look into the shrine's architect for the construction of a shrine of his own. "It's almost like this place was made to be some kind of weird church."

"That I don't know," Pipsy said. "Maybe he built it himself before he left; he was sure self-obsessed enough. But I do know Taj told me we'd find the Memory Lamp behind the portrait of himself."

The Smash Brothers scoured the room with their eyes, inspecting every picture.

"I don't see him anywhere," Link said.

Everyone else appeared just as confused as he was—except for one person: The Chestnut King. The muscled warrior was standing alone off to the side, staring at Wizpig's portrait and pointing at it as if everyone else was mentally underendowed.

"What is it, King Chestnut?" Gadd asked. He moved over to where the speechless island monarch was standing, and an expression of incredulity crossed his face. "Incredible…there it is!"

"There's what?" Bowser shoved his way over until he had the same perspective. Somehow, from this angle, the image of Wizpig had quickly morphed into that of the blue elephant like a holographic playing card. "Hey…I did something like that once when I ruled Peach's Castle that one time. Good times…eh, Mario?"

Now, with the large portrait clearly filled by Taj rather than Wizpig, Pipsy scurried up to the frame and reached behind it, pulling out what looked like a brass genie's lamp—except the end was a USB port.

"Nifty," Gadd said, taking it from the mouse and turning it around in his hands. He looked up at his computer friend. "Say, L.O.G…you're not compatible with external storage devices, by any chance?"

"I certainly am," L.O.G. said. "I would be happy to relay the contents of the Memory Lamp for you."

 _"It is well,"_ Mewtwo said. _"But I suggest we do so back on the Ark; we never know when our enemy might return…."_

They filed back out of the Ancient Chamber, though DK and Pipsy lingered behind to take one last glance at the Wizpig statue, as if worried their imaginations alone would bring him to life, his sinister snout ready to spout hellfire. They glanced at each other, turned, and left.

Back on the Ark, all the leaders (plus Pipsy) had gathered into the theater, although they were not there to watch the conventional film. Gadd had inserted the Memory Lamp into L.O.G.'s USB port and was using an HDMI cable to relay its contents on the wall-sized screen for all to see.

All of the messages were brief video transmissions of Taj, his head taking up most of the screen with his open magenta vest just visible between his hands.

"I have something special for you…" he said in his Indian accent, holding all his viewers' attentions. But then he went on to share secrets about how to win races—letting go of the throttle over boosters; drifting; barrel rolls; and so on.

People quickly began losing interest, Dedede being the first to call the whole thing "a bunch of hogwash" and leave the theater. If all of Taj's secrets were just racing tips, how could that possibly help them?

"I have something special for you…" the elephant said for the seventh or eighth time. By now, Bowser was snoring and Kirby was eyeing him, wondering if he'd be able to get away with a light Koopa snack. But then:

"It is not the skill of the racer than makes him a hero," Taj said. DK and Gadd, at least, perked up at the sudden change in pattern. "Wizpig is Exhibit A of that, yes? No…it is the heart of the racer that makes him a warrior…or a coward." He appeared to glance behind him warily. "That is why I must record this final message. Microsoft is here, and I fear my time has come. But before I go, the world must know…not just my racing friends, but my friends of RareWare…Nintendo…even Sony and Microsoft…a word of warning. The gods we worship or choose to shun will in great part determine the fate of our worlds. When Timber's Island once fell to Wizpig, he became a tyrant and demanded our loyalty…but we would not submit. We would not bow to a false god. We fought back and were victorious. The same must happen if we are to become united as a planet—we must take a close look at those we venerate, because not all with divine powers have divine intentions, yes? Find the deities you can trust…and when you discover the evil ones, join against them. That is the only way, for our oppressors feed upon our submission to them; take that away, and their power will become as the whispering sands of Fossil Canyon. Master Hand—the Cloaked Nightmare—was one of these false gods to Nintendo, and they won with the colors flying, yes? And I believe even among—"

At that point, the screen became covered with static, and nothing else could be heard or seen except the salt and pepper war Gary recognized from his cable TV when he would turn to channels he hadn't subscribed to.

L.O.G. somehow unplugged the Memory Lamp and HDMI cable without arms and blinked at those remaining who were still conscious.

"The quality of the video decays from then on, I'm afraid. But what we did see was most intriguing, was it not, professor?"

"Yes…" For once, Gadd wasn't sure what to make of the genie's cryptic warning, but he tried not to show it too obviously. "But bless my ear whiskers, what a grim message it was. False gods not just among our enemies, but among ourselves as well; I've never been one much for religion myself, preferring the sound foundation of empirical science."

 _"Unfortunately, that does not make Taj's warning false,"_ Mewtwo said. _"Even among the Pokémon, we have some we call gods…and unless I'm mistaken, just about every region of Nintendo has its own higher powers. From the Mushroom Kingdom's Star Spirits to Hyrule's Triforce goddesses to Dreamland's Nightmare…I do wonder whether Taj had more specific details he'd been about to share…."_

"For the time being, my friends," Gotoh said, "we must bear the genie's words in mind, but move on with the task at hand—dealing with the threat of Microsoft."

Zelda nodded. "Now that we are back on the Ark, what is the plan?"

DK stood and spoke before Gadd could respond.

"I'll tell you what the plan is. Timber's Island might have been abandoned by those goons after they attacked, but I'd bet my Golden Banana hoard that the Isle o' Hags isn't. We're gonna go there…and we're gonna take it back."

* * *

The brig on board the Seran battleship—which they soon learned was named _Delta 5_ —was not exactly what you would call comfortable. Though the captured Smash Brothers and All-Stars did appear to be the cells' only current occupants, they were hard-pressed for elbow room and fresh air. The dank metal chamber smelled of rotting fish and sea salt, which appealed to Ness about as much as a place on an NBA basketball team. They were all locked up with five per cell, which meant they filled three cells, there being fifteen prisoners in all.

The Serans on board had for the most part disregarded them, with the occasional muttering of "Nintendo scum," "Sonian traitors," and other such labels. Twice a day, one would bring down a bucket of some green sludge that was apparently supposed to be food, but otherwise, the heroes were left to languish alone in their floating prison as the ship took them somewhere they couldn't see, though they felt like they had a pretty good idea what their destination was.

Time seemed to fade from existence as they spent untold hours, at first healthy enough to converse frequently and try to raise each other's spirits, but as the days wore on, whatever energy they had left depleted almost to the point of losing the will to live. For there was no doubt they wouldn't just be carted off to Microsoft to attend some trifling traffic court hearing and then be taken home; no, they were going there to suffer or die—by what means, they tried not to imagine.

Of those present, some had been hit harder and more personally by Microsoft's treachery than others. Tetra fell into a brooding mood that had yet to lighten up—not just because of the destruction of _The King's Krystal,_ either. She was consumed with thoughts of Niko, the last of her fellow pirates of the Great Sea. Now they were all lost, all killed by Microsoft except for her—though that probably wouldn't be the case for long.

Diddy was doubly distressed. His separation from Dixie was troubling, but he knew she and the others who had escaped were far better off than he. _That_ he could deal with. But Conker…sure, he might have been a bit trigger-happy, but he'd also been one of Diddy's oldest friends from their days of racing on Timber's Island, competing with a friendly rivalry and taking down Wizpig together. He knew the squirrel had lived in a region of Microsoft called the Willow Woods, but realized then that he'd never really gotten to know Conker for who he really was and where he came from. No doubt the squirrel had had adventures and challenges and joys and failures and friends and enemies of his own in his homeland, but Diddy hadn't thought to ask about them until now, when it was far too late.

Popo was irked by his separation from his twin sister, to be sure, but he was actually handling it surprisingly well. He had no doubt this was mostly due to their experiences during the oppression of Master Hand when they'd spent weeks apart before being reunited. This time, it seemed like just another obstacle on top of the others the Ice Climbers had surmounted together—often quite literally when it came to climbing snowy peaks. Hopefully this one would end as happily as those before it, because he still couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to his dearest friend and only family.

Solid Snake was perhaps the most sobered of them all, and that was because he knew this was all his fault. If he hadn't encouraged them to go out and meet Master Chief on the water in the first place, they'd all still be in Sony, maybe preparing for a large-scale attack from Microsoft, but at least they'd be together. Microsoft had split them up, and surely that was the first step toward dismantling whatever fragile alliance among Sony and Nintendo they had begun to build. All those All-Stars who trusted him with their lives…he didn't deserve that trust. He'd failed them all again, just like he did during the Copyright Wars. Just like he failed Meryl all that time ago.

Toon Link, Falco, and Roy would typically spend all day lying on the hard metal benches, staring up at the algae-ridden ceiling or trying to sleep. Yoshi would be curled up in a corner, trying to ignore his miserable environment and think of his tribe back on Yoshi's Island. Prince Peasley and Meta Knight would sit against a wall, occasionally striking up conversation, speculating vainly about possible escape plans. Ness would glumly run his baseball bat across the bars like a coffee mug, his other hand in his pocket. Shadow would sit and stare at the wall in silent anger as if he could burn a hole through it with his mind. Sackboy would sleep peacefully on a memory foam pillow he'd imagined for himself.

For the most part, the Serans hadn't even bothered to take away their weapons, except for Falco's and Snake's firearms—and Samus's Power Suit. For all who were present, this was the first time any of them had seen the bounty hunter without her trademark armor—a slender woman in a blue jumpsuit, her face beautiful but hardened by a life of pain. Her captors, of course, had had to sedate her before they were able to remove the suit, which she never would have given up willingly, and now her distress at having lost it showed in spite of her typically emotionless demeanor.

Captain Falcon couldn't help but look at her as she sat against the wall, drained and morose, staring at the ground lifelessly, made vulnerable against her will. He fought himself in his mind, and the side that finally won told his body to sit down next to her. She didn't even look up. Then he fought another mental battle, and the victor commanded his arm to move comfortingly around her shoulders. He was convinced he would immediately regret it, but she didn't move away, though she did see him out of the corner of her eye and pretended not to notice.

They sat there for a while, and then some time later, Samus appeared to fall asleep, taking the path of least resistance and leaning on the captain. So they sat throughout the rest of that day and the night that followed. And for some reason, through the bars of the adjacent cell, Snake stared at them with something vaguely resembling annoyance.

* * *

The Wailord's passengers were as lost as Pinocchio and Geppetto, being tossed around the inside of a giant fish in complete darkness for an indeterminate amount of time. All they could do was hope the Pokémon would eventually decide to spit them out—which it did, and with the help of Quentin's Spirit Bond, their point of departure was not in the middle of the ocean, but a short swim to shore.

They gasped and spluttered as they crawled onto the beach, their soaked bodies immediately finding relief in the warm sun. Game & Watch and Megaman helped each other to their feet, while Dixie Kong and Nana did the same and Kazooie just complained about her ruined plumage from Banjo's backpack while he did all the work. Quentin waved thanks to the Wailord, which responded with a somber melody and retreated into the ocean depths. He put an arm around Red and they leaned on each other until they reached a cluster of rocks where they could stop and catch their breath.

"Never…again," Nana said, coughing up water.

Megaman took a look around them. "I don't think we're in Sony anymore…but where else could we be? How far could we have drifted in one day?"

"Assuming it was just one day," Dixie said. "I thought I was trapped in limbo there for a while."

Red checked his belt to make sure all his Pokéballs were accounted for. "Wherever we are, I think we're in better shape than those we left behind. I saw that battleship preparing to cast nets right before I was sucked down."

Dixie and Nana glanced at each other, both thinking the same thing: Were their closest friends all right? Were they now prisoners of the Master Chief? Or worse?

"I know where we are," Game & Watch said.  
"You been here before?" Banjo asked.

But G.W. shook his head and just pointed where he'd been looking. The others followed his gaze to behold a wall of black peeking out from above the palm trees. Just like Pit had described to Gadd on Nintendo, who in turn had relayed the story to Tetra, who had shared the report with the rest of the crew.

"A-tar-i Is-land," he said.

"Well I sure as heck ain't going to the west side," Kazooie said, still trying to strain saltwater from her feathers. "That's where Gadd's psychopath cousin, the one who made that messed up Mr. Dragon Patch monster, is supposed to have set up his base. I say we find a way off this island pronto."

"It's not that easy," Red said. "Even if we had a way off, we have no maps, no way of knowing how to get anywhere. Unless…?" He glanced at his father.

Quentin nodded. "Though I haven't been to Sony or Microsoft, I did once venture upon this island. I didn't stay long enough to explore much, but I can summon Pokémon who will know how to bring us back to Nintendo…" He looked at Red. "Assuming that is where you want to go?"

Red's first thought was to return to Sony so that they could set off and rescue their fellow voyagers from Microsoft. But he soon realized that Sony's help alone might not be enough. He nodded.

"I think that's the best thing to do. Our communicators were all lost in the water, but we know the Smash Brothers will be either in Saffron City or on their way to the other islands. If they're not on the mainland, we can quickly contact them and regroup wherever they're at."

"But…" Dixie was about to protest, then sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Diddy wouldn't want us to go off on a fool's errand and get ourselves caught, too. Those guys are way too powerful for us on our own…maybe even for everyone."

"Very well," Quentin said, drawing the Omni Ball. Let us get off this forsaken land before— _no!_ "

It was the strangest thing G.W. and Nana had seen since their journey to the Dimension Conflux. An extremely pixelated purple moth the size of a beach ball had fluttered silently above Quentin, then projected a wave of neon blue lines down toward the man's hand. Its tractor beam passed over the Omni Ball and drew it into the moth's blocky grasp, and then it flew away.

"We must have it back!" Quentin began running after the creature, the other seven castaways following close behind. Megaman and Kazooie tried hitting it with Mega Buster energy balls and Ice Eggs on the run, but they met with no success as they were forced to trudge through slippery sand between irregularly placed palm trees. They continued their pursuit for about five minutes before they arrived at the mysterious black wall.

Red remembered how Pit had bounced off the side like a Jello castle and began to smile as the moth failed to alter its course, heading straight for the wall. It would spring back at them, and then its stolen cargo would be theirs.

But alas—when the bug contacted the black void, it passed inside as if the wall had been nothing more than a shadow cast by a tall building. The Galaga insect vanished into the blackness without a trace.

"Wait, what?" Kazooie complained as they came to a stop before colliding into the blackness themselves. "That makes about as much sense as those goblins in Freezeezy Peak who live off of sentient Christmas lights with eyeballs."

G.W. approached closest of all, his nose inches from the wall, his body the exact same tone of black. He reached a tentative hand out and tried to place it on the surface—only to find it went straight through, just like the bug. He turned to the others.

"I be-lieve we have been in-vi-ted in-side. Come on."

He vanished into the void. The rest were understandably hesitant, but Nana, having spent the most time with the Smasher, trusted him and was the first to follow suit, followed by Quentin, Red, Megaman, and Dixie Kong.

Banjo was about to step inside as well when Kazooie cuffed the back of his head with her wing.

"Wait! Am I the only one who has a problem with this? We're seriously going to just follow some weirdo bug that _stole_ from us, and just hope we're not being led into some crazy, soul-sucking trap?"

"We've got no other choice, Kazooie," Banjo said, and walked through.

Total blackness. G.W. and Nana were reminded of the Dimension Conflux more than ever, for this was how that journey into the unknown had begun as well. But the longer they walked through the darkness, with not a clue where they were going or even which way was up and which was down, the more this realm began to differentiate itself. They felt nothing apart from their own bodies—no air; no hot or cold; no way to describe the texture of the "surface" they walked on, if you could call it that.

"Well, this is just great," Kazooie said, throwing her wings in the air. "Hate to say I told you so, but…"

Banjo cut her off. "First—no you don't. Second—look!"

The Galaga bug was drifting away into the distance, although it seemed to have been waiting for them before going on. They went after it, but the creature moved just fast enough that they couldn't close the gap. And by then, a host of colorful specks had begun to populate the darkness, and the heroes found their attention absorbed by this strange new world—or was it an old world?

A pyramid of colored cubes—all of it two-dimensional but with the arcade-like illusion of 3-D—was populated by a queer orange creature with a tubular mouth, which was jumping up and down the blocks, changing them to different colors while avoiding a coiled purple snake.

Then, in another sector divided by black space like galaxies: a large white rectangle covered with winding trails of green, upon which two shapes—Slot Racers—chased each other, navigating through the maze while firing yellow and orange pixels.

The next "constellation" was much more familiar: another maze, but this one filled with yellow pellets and fruit and four colorful gumdrop ghosts which appeared to be wandering aimlessly, looking for something that wasn't there.

As they passed by each cluster of pixelated activity, they noticed there were swarming formations of white and green creatures—Space Invaders—patrolling the regions like some kind of police force. But when they would harass Q*Bert by pushing him off his block or fire pixels of their own at the Slot Racers or chase the Pacman ghosts around their maze, it became clear that this was no peaceful occupation; it was an oppression.

The Galaga bug, still teasing them with the Omni Ball, seemed to stop and attempt to give them a meaningful look (though its resolution was so primitive that absolutely nothing about its appearance changed). It turned and suddenly veered in a random direction, forcing them to pick up speed to avoid being left alone and lost in the black void.

"Wait up!" Nana huffed as they followed its haphazard path, twisting and turning and (she could've sworn) in some cases tilting and heading up or down. They continued in this manner for so long that it was almost as if the insect were _trying_ to get them lost.

At long last, the bug pulled up in front of a single white figure, shaped like a man wearing a jetpack—an astronaut, as far as they could tell. He held what seemed to be a gun that constituted about five pixels, and like the Galaga creature, his face lacked enough detail to really be a face or show any emotion.

For a long while, he just stood there and stared at them.

"Hel-lo?" Game & Watch said finally, almost invisible in the darkness save for the thin white outline that distinguished him from the featureless background. "Who are you? Why have you brought us here?"

Rather than speak, a set of white words appeared above the being's head—again, much like the Smashers had experienced in the Dimension Conflux when they'd traveled across the two-dimensional world of _Super Mario Bros._

I AM ROCKETMAN. WE BROUGHT YOU HERE TO SAVE US.

"Save you?" Dixie asked. "From what?"

FROM THE SPACE INVADERS. THE GALAGA YOU FOLLOWED SHOWED YOU BUT A SMALL TASTE OF THE TYRANNY WE HAVE BEEN FORCED TO ENDURE SINCE THEY ARRIVED WITH THEIR QUEEN. THEY HAVE MADE US SLAVE AWAY MINING OUR NATURAL RESOURCES FOR WHATEVER DIABOLICAL END THEY MIGHT HAVE...AND IN RETURN WE ARE EVER TREATED AS DUST BENEATH THEIR FEET.

 _What kind of natural resources are there to mine in a place like this?_ G.W. thought.

"So what makes you think we give a rat's turd about your personal problems?" Kazooie spouted before anyone could stop her.

ARE YOU NOT THE SMASH BROTHERS?

"Yeah, we are," Banjo said, trying to force Kazooie's head back into his backpack. "How do you know about us?"

WE HAVE HEARD THE LEGENDS OF YOUR VICTORY AGAINST MASTER HAND. WHEN TWO OF YOUR FRIENDS CAME TO OUR ISLAND EARLIER AND WE RECEIVED WORD OF YOUR JOURNEY TO SONY, WE HAD HOPED YOU WERE COMING TO LIBERATE NOT ONLY NINTENDO, BUT ALL OF SMASH PLANET. IT HAS BEEN MONTHS SINCE WE LOST OUR FREEDOM...BUT NOW, WITH YOU HERE, I BELIEVE WE CAN OVERTHROW THE SPACE INVADERS AND FREE MY PEOPLE.

"So that's why the Galaga took the Omni Ball," Red said. "So you could bring us here to help you with your revolution."

YES...MY APOLOGIES. THE GALAGA CAN AT TIMES BE GLUTTONS FOR MISCHIEF. He turned to the space bug. PLEASE RETURN THEIR ARTIFACT. WE DO NOT WANT THEM AS OUR ENEMIES.

The Galaga somewhat reluctantly floated over to Quentin and dropped the Omni Ball into his hand. The man promptly pocketed the ball and acknowledged the bug's peace offering with a nod.

"So where's the way out of this dump?" Kazooie's muffled voice said from inside the backpack. "It's about freakin' time we get home, and I'm starved."

Megaman glanced uncertainly at the others. "The bird has a point; we don't have time to waste if we want to help Snake and the others before it's too late."

But Game & Watch looked thoughtful (somehow). "For that ver-y rea-son, I be-lieve it may be in our best in-ter-est to help Rock-et-man lib-er-ate his peo-ple."

"What do you mean?" Nana asked.

"We wan-ted to re-turn to Nin-ten-do to get e-nough sup-port to free the oth-ers. But what if we can find the al-lies we need else-where?" He looked at Rocketman.

The pixelated astronaut's head moved exactly one pixel up and down. IF YOU HELP US DEFEAT THE SPACE INVADERS, WE WILL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO RESCUE YOUR FRIENDS. IT WOULD BE THE LEAST WE COULD DO. YOU MAY NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH THE ATARI WORLD...BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY WE HAVE POWERFUL FRIENDS AMONG US.

This seemed to be enough for all of them—except for Kazooie, whose stomach grumbled audibly.

Rocketman turned to the bulging backpack. PLUS, WE CAN TREAT YOU TO SOME OF THE BEST CHERRIES IN THE UNIVERSE. AS MANY AS YOU COULD POSSIBLY EAT AND MORE.

Kazooie broke through the straps, a new look of determination in her eyes, her posture that of the selfless hero. "Well why didn't you say so? Those alien punks are gonna be in for the butt-kicking of a lifetime!"

* * *

Back in the Chaos Emerald Cave, Tikal and the others were deep in discussion on how to proceed, now that all the Nintendonians except for a few Kongs, Peach, Perry, and Toadsworth had been captured or gone missing, not to mention Shadow and three of Sony's treasured All-Stars.

"Didn't you geniuses bring communicators from your world? This would be a whole lot easier if we could get ahold of your missing friends," Sly Cooper said.

Sonic frowned. "I think Captain Tetra was the only one with a communicator on the _Krystal._ "

Princess Peach cleared her throat. "Actually, all of the Original 25 were given communicators after we defeated Nightmare." She raised her own as if to prove her point. "But I've tried calling all of them: Mr. Game & Watch; the Ice Climbers; Link; Yoshi; Falco; Samus; Captain Falcon; Roy; Ness; none of them have answered. Their devices must have either been destroyed by the water or taken by the Microsians."

"Still," Tiny Kong said, "we should try and contact Professor E. Gadd back in Nintendo; he'll know what to do."

"That's what I was about to do next," Peach said. "I just wanted to wait for all of us to be together so we can all be on the same page."

"Right-o," Toadsworth said, leaning on his cane and pushing up his glasses. "The princess is always prepared! I believe we should make the call, then, without further ado."

The others gathered behind her—the seven Mobians; the three Kongs; Ratchet and Clank; Sly Cooper; Jak and Daxter; Spyro; Crash Bandicoot; Rayman—as she pressed the corresponding buttons and the "Game Boy" began to vibrate, awaiting a response from the other side. It shook a third, then a fourth time, and Peach's heart began to wilt. What if they couldn't reach the Nintendo World, either? They would be completely on their own, with no idea how to proceed.

Then the flickering holographic image of Gadd rose from the device, and he adjusted his glasses as he looked out at the impressive group.

"Gadzooks! Tetra told me a couple days ago you'd been making progress on garnering support in Sony…but this is quite the crowd! You'll have to excuse me for my truancy in answering, Princess; we've been dealing with some interesting finds on Timber's Island…but in any case, to what do I owe the pleasure? And where's the rest of the _Krystal_ 's crew? Off finding more All-Stars, I presume?"

"I'm afraid we have bad news, professor," Peach said, and then proceeded to recount what had happened since they'd convened with the All-Stars they'd been able to gather: the appearance of the Vigoorian boat off of Candy Chateau; the uncertain negotiations that appeared to take place between Master Chief and the _Krystal_ , though from the toffee cliffs they hadn't been able to hear any of it; and then the disastrous outbreak of fighting that had resulted in most of their capture and a few of them disappearing out to sea in Quentin's Wailord.

Gadd listened to the whole tale with rapt attention, his expression progressing from one of interest to horror.

"What a disastrous turn of events! I cannot begin to express how troubled I am by your report. Still…" He seemed to calm down. "I'm grateful you and those with you are all right, Princess Peach. And it sounds like a few of 'em might've escaped capture."

"What do you think we should do now, professor?" Perry asked from Peach's shoulder. "Should we head over to Microsoft right away, or join you at the Isle o' Hags?"

But Gadd shook his head, not even looking around to see who had spoken. "We're already on our way to Banjo & Kazooie's homeland as we speak. I'm afraid it would take too long for us to wait for you, unless those handy Emeralds of yours could take you there?" He looked at Sonic inquiringly.

Sonic also shook his head. "No can do. For whatever reason, we've never been able to use the Chaos Emeralds to take us anywhere outside the Sony World. Tikal's gonna recover the green one that fell into the ocean, but even with all of 'em combined, I doubt we could take anyone outside the bounds of our mainland."

"I see. Well, at the same time, the problem with you youngsters heading over to Microsoft right now is that _you'd_ be the ones who'd get there before us, and it's rather unlikely you'd be able to take on their armies and machines alone. That's why I propose you all stay in Sony for a while. Gather everyone in your world willing to fight with us, and once our business on the Isle o' Hags is done, we'll get in touch and plan our rendezvous at Microsoft. Sound like a plan?"

Peach nodded. "We'll be ready when the time comes." She hesitated a bit sheepishly before asking her next question. "How are…the others?"

Gadd grinned. "Mario's doin' just fine, and so is Luigi. Your Mushroom Kingdom armies are quite sprightly as well. Don't you worry yourselves about us; we'll be seeing each other again before you know it." He looked pointedly at the Kongs and Mobians. "And we'll get to Diddy, Dixie, and Shadow well before those goons are able to do anything to them. We've faced worse things together, haven't we, lads?"

Peach smiled back, sincerely hoping so.


	13. Chapter 10: Endgame

Chapter 10: Endgame

* * *

 **The Copyright Wars**

 **Battle of Yoshi's Island**

* * *

 _ **Y**_ _oshis filled the southern end of their island like a sea of indignant jellybeans. On this part of the isle, the terrain mostly consisted of grassy knolls with the occasional plateau, the forest area to the west and the plains to the east, the oddly rounded mountains at the center surrounded by dreamy clouds and the dwarfed volcano near the southern coast, roughly centered between the two halves. The sun shone pure happiness—yet on this occasion, that warm delight was to be overruled by the cold workings of war._

 _These natives weren't alone; they were joined by much of the island's wildlife, ranging from small, bipedal dragons to football-helmeted Koopas; tall yellow cacti called Pokeys to black manic-eyed Fuzzies; sunglass-wearing Monty Moles of varying size to almost every imaginable variation of Shy Guy. Whatever grievances they had with each other had been temporarily set aside to face their common enemy._

 _Joining the islanders in this particular siege were the Mario Brothers themselves, standing at the front beside the green Yoshi who had cared for Mario since infancy, with Taj the Genie hovering on his magic carpet on the other side, sitting in the lotus position. Also, stationed on some of the lower-hanging clouds were fifty of Meta Knight's finest Star Warriors, led by him and Kirby, each mounted on one of a number of Air Riders that had been designed for speed—among other things._

 _The opposing army was led by several Spartan gunships, like most of Microsoft's military operations. Solid Snake rode in one of two FOXHOUND copters not far behind, with an armada of Vigoorian warships below—wooden and Oriental-looking like the one encountered near Candy Chateau, but much larger and fitted with cannons that would spout flaming cannonballs at their unfortunate targets._

 _Forming an arch along the back, a few dozen Tyhrranoid attack ships made their way along, their rather squat red hulls boosted by thick rocket engines and balanced by disproportionately thin wings and fins, the cockpits occupied by almost stereotypically antenna-eyed aliens with slimy green skin. Leading these were Ratchet and Clank in the_ Aphelion _—as well as the pair's usual nemesis Dr. Nefarious, the sinister robot watching from the command bridge of his colossal black star cruiser,_ Leviathan _, his slim purple limbs more than made up for by his glowing red skull eyes and the neon green dome capping his head. He laughed as he and his Microsian allies prepared to reduce these meat bags to fleshy piles of scrap._

 _"Are you a-ready?" Mario asked his friends._

 _"Let's eh-go, bro!"_

" _Yoshi!"_

" _I have something special for them…" Taj added ominously._

 _Above them, Sword Kirby and Meta Knight raised their blades, Kirby riding his trademark Warpstar while Meta Knight had opted for a bat-like Shadow Star._

" _Come!" the masked knight challenged in his deep, booming voice, pounding his bat wings and gesturing toward himself._

 _Time seemed to slow as the invading force neared the shore…and then all was chaos. Ninjas disembarked on smaller boats and began contending with the Yoshis and other natives while their motherships began a barrage of conflagrant cannonballs, tearing straw huts to pieces and setting fire to greenery. The Star Warriors dived off their clouds and descended upon the Spartans, FOXHOUND copters, and Tyhrranoid attack ships, most with swords and cutter blades, the assorted Air Riders spinning like tops or diving with targeted precision. They alternated their focus between dodging gunfire and slicing at their enemies. Taj joined the Star Warriors on his carpet, firing bursts of blue magic from his hands and performing loop-de-loops without falling off in a puzzling defiance of gravity._

 _From a raised plateau, a large regiment of Yoshis hailed spotted eggs of every color upon the encroaching ninjas, some even directing their projectiles at the attack ships. Still, with the combined force of the warships and air raids, they began losing fighters fast; it would be a difficult ground to hold._

 _While Yoshi and Luigi lobbed eggs and green fireballs from the plateau as well, Mario tossed a rust-colored feather into the air, then jumped and grabbed it, becoming airborne with his yellow cape to keep him aloft. He sped into the sky like Superman with a specific target in mind: the_ Aphelion _. Before the Veldinian duo could react, he punched straight through the cockpit's glass, knocking them out of their vehicle, and tossed a couple fireballs at the engine for good measure, causing it to spiral out of control toward a volcanic crater._

 _Not one to kill even in the midst of war, Mario doubled back and punched Ratchet and Clank away from the volcano, all the way onto the far end of the plateau. As the vexed Sonians rose to their feet, Yoshi dashed to the plumber's side, prepared to fight beside him._

 _Luigi had been about to join them when he noticed a strange phenomenon occurring on the rounded mountain peaks. Red cyclopean puppet creatures were falling out of the sky and running down the hill toward the Nintendonian forces from behind. He decided to take it upon himself to deal with the Meanies, using a well-directed Green Missile to propel himself most of the way up. As the creatures fell upon him, he drew his favorite mounted vacuum—the Poltergust 3000—and switched its settings to be able to suck up physical matter. The tumbling Meanies cried out like Gru's Minions as they veered into the wide nozzle, being sucked through the hose and into the compacting bag on Luigi's back._

 _He was cut off mid-chuckle when a magenta rift opened above the mountain, from which emerged the serpentine source of the Meanies: Negativitron. It shrieked with an air-sucking howl and began inhaling everything in the vicinity—snow, trees, birds, and Luigi—toward its monstrous mouth nozzle._

 _Luigi's grin faded and converted into a panicked yell as he was swept into the air. He desperately grabbed the top of a frosted pine tree, his legs flailing above him, but the needles slipped through his grip, abandoning him to his otherworldly fate._

 _On the other front, the Star Warriors and airborne invaders had suffered about equal losses. A Rocket Star bearing Sword Knight blasted through a FOXHOUND copter, leaving Snake's copter the lone survivor of his team. He grunted and aimed his sniper rifle at the perpetrator, shooting the Air Rider out of the sky. A Wing Star bearing Blade Knight wove its way through the Tyhrranoids, the warrior tossing cutter blades into the large engines and causing satisfying explosions._

 _Meta Knight and Taj faced off against two Spartan gunships, the latter sending an onslaught of ranged magic at the turrets, the former spinning his way straight through the cargo bays, sending most of the Spartans plummeting hundreds of feet to the ground, which meant either a lucky landing in the ocean, a bone-crushing crash against the knolls, or a decisive plunge into the smoking volcano._

 _The Spartan commander, who had managed to remain in his gunship, burst out of hiding from within and struck Meta Knight's Shadow Star with a concentrated laser shot. Meta Knight, however, contented himself with allowing the Air Rider to fall, keeping himself aloft with his bat wings._

 _Meanwhile, Taj led the other gunship away with a taunting magic blast to its underside, his carpet spiraling down toward the volcanic crater. The gunship took the bait, diving after the genie until they were nearly level with the peak. Taj swerved around the smoking, bubbling crater, taking the long way toward the other side. But the gunship's pilot decided to take a shortcut across the top, which would surely close the distance between them and mean the end for the blue elephant._

 _Taj turned to watch with amusement as, midway across the crater, an enormous Piranha Plant lunged up from the lava and engulfed the gunship in a superheated stream of flames. It exploded, the remnants being eagerly swallowed by the two thorny buds wiggling at Lava Piranha's sides. The creature roared with a sound that would be difficult to distinguish from that of an actual eruption, then sank slowly back into the lava, hoping for more victims to cross its path._

 _Sword Kirby gasped as a swirling green vortex was projected from the_ Leviathan _, pulsing through him and depriving him of both Sword Ability and Warpstar. He puffed a few desperate breaths in the war-torn air and just managed to land on the edge of his attacker's aircraft. Kirby could hear Dr. Nefarious's well-practiced evil laugh as he shuffled up the large black hull until he was level with the bridge._

 _The supervillain and his robotic copilots stared at him in surprise through the thick glass. Dr. Nefarious began shouting into his communicator, directing attack ships to free his_ Leviathan _of the unwanted hitchhiker, but by then it was too late. Kirby drew a wooden mallet and began pounding against the glass, which seemed to have no effect until a tiny crack formed at the point of impact. And that was all Kirby needed._

 _He opened his mouth and sucked through the crack, drawing everything in the bridge toward him, most of the robots clinging onto their seats and control panels. But one ill-prepared copilot found itself slamming into the glass, crashing through it and being slurped up by the Smasher._

 _Dr. Nefarious immediately activated the secondary shields which prevented the hole in the windshield from causing further damage, but in the meantime Kirby spun and transformed into his newest Copy Ability: Robot Kirby._

 _He was solid steel, but not shiny like Master Hand's Metal Kirby, and his face was clearly visible on top of dozens of metal studs that seemed to hold him together like a machine, his eyes glowing as red as those of Dr. Nefarious._

 _By now, almost all the remaining Tyhrranoids were converging on him, but Robot Kirby was ready for them. Hatches opened on his stubby arms and all around his head, revealing a ridiculous array of disproportionately large blasters, flamethrowers, and missile launchers. The occupants of the attack ships gaped at the thing they were supposed to destroy._

" _Poyo!"_

 _Explosions. Screams. Lasers. The clang of Robot Kirby's metal body smashing through ships like a hole punch. As Meta Knight clashed Galaxia against the Spartan commander's silvery pronged Energy Sword aboard the gunship, he laughed softly to himself at those experiencing the consequences of crossing Kirby._

 _Luigi struggled to escape death by giant vacuum, Super Jumping just over Negativitron's mouth as he was drawn toward it. He switched the Poltergust 3000's settings to fire mode and let loose upon the dimension-crossing demon's brain, causing it to writhe and howl in pain, lashing Luigi off its head and retreating into the safety of its own dimension, the shimmering rift closing up as if it had never been there. Luigi yelled as he fell to his death, but then a flock of seagull-like Goonies gathered around him, bearing him softly to the ground as if he were an Olympic demigod._

 _Mario's Super Hammer clashed against Ratchet's OmniWrench, both sets of teeth gritted as they pushed against each other. Ratchet shoved the hammer away and jumped back, tossing his weapon high into the air while Mario regained his footing. The high-tech device activated its super magnet, drawing all kinds of shrapnel from the air fight. Ratchet caught the wrench and pointed it at Mario, causing all the attracted shrapnel to speed toward their new target._

 _Mario cried out as he narrowly dodge huge gunship pieces, propellers, and used bullet shells, a few smaller fragments smacking painfully onto his head and body._

 _Meanwhile, Yoshi and Clank hopped up the fragments like a falling staircase, the latter sending green bolts from his antenna's Clank Zapper, which Yoshi hopped to avoid while tossing eggs behind him. Spotting Mario's predicament, he Ground-Pounded in front of his friend and drew a full-sized attack ship engine into his mouth, spitting it back out at Ratchet, who was taken by surprise and disappeared beneath the weight._

" _Ratchet!" Clank forgot all about the battle he was supposed to be fighting and blasted the engine apart with his Geo Laser, pulling the unconscious Lombax from the wreckage. He turned and glared at Yoshi and Mario._

" _I calculate the likelihood of you regretting that to be 1 to 1,384."_

 _With that, he activated his built-in jetpack, lugging Ratchet with him toward one of the remaining gunships._

 _The Spartan Commander gasped as he kicked Meta Knight off his gunship and commanded the pilot to turn around._

" _Retreat!" he shouted into his communicator. "Full retreat!" The surviving attack ships, gunships, and Vigoorians stopped and immediately did an about face, the defenders of Yoshi's Island eager to speed them on their journey off._

 _Snake paused in his helicopter, his eye peering through the scope of his rifle. He had a clear shot on Mario and Yoshi. It would be not only easy, but likely imperative that he take the shot were his Microsian superiors to find out. Then he heard the commander's voice in his ear…and allowed himself a small smile, lowering his weapon as what was left of FOXHOUND followed the battered fleet back toward Timber's Island._

" _Nicely done, Nintendo," he muttered to himself. "There may yet be hope for you…and for us."_

* * *

Microsoft's prisoners awoke in an altogether different prison from the one before. Gone were the algae-inhabited walls and the almost unbearable stench of dead fish, and they were now all in one large cell with such accommodations that it almost felt more like a suite than a place of entrapment. The spacious room was wrought of some kind of emerald alloy with no bars or windows—just a single impenetrable door on one end. It contained enough cots to seat all of them, which, while not exactly luxury mattress quality, were a whole lot better than a wet floor or a metal bench. A couple mahogany tables and chairs, a few black leather couches, a bathroom, even a small kitchen with a stove, oven, and fridge (fully stocked with a generous variety of Earth foods) would have made the heroes feel almost at home—were it not for their current circumstances.

Toon Link sat up and rubbed his eyes. He'd been dreaming about riding the great dragon of Dragon Roost Island, Valoo, while playing Saria's ocarina and flying over the warring Wire Frames in the Battlefields. It was only when he'd awoken, of course, that he realized how ridiculous the dream was, especially considering he wasn't supposed to know who Valoo was, let alone understand the beast's ancient Hylian language that had been telling him about the destiny of the Hero of the Winds.

Still drowsy, he wondered at first why he was already awake in the first place—until his ears registered the heated argument taking place nearby.

"Yeah, well, your track record hasn't exactly been spotless so far, pal. Your need for revenge on Master Chief's already cost two of our friends their lives…and who knows how many of us you did away with during the Copyright Wars that we don't even remember."

"You fool!" Snake glared at Captain Falcon across the table, needing every ounce of self-control he possessed to stop himself from punching the prideful pilot in the face. "Everything I have ever done has been for the good of my people. I will concede that going out to meet the Chief was a mistake…but at least I hold true to my code of honor—something a bounty-hunting playboy wouldn't understand."

"Careful what you say about bounty hunters around me." Samus stepped between the two, a look of tired irritation on her face. She first turned to the special agent. "What happened at Candy Chateau wasn't your fault; we _all_ agreed to come with you." She glanced pointedly at Falcon. "But that doesn't mean you have to go around being an arrogant prick about it. As for you…" She addressed the Captain. "I would've thought you were above pointing useless fingers when we all have to keep in control of our emotions if we want to have any chance of getting through this. But I guess I was wrong." She said no more, returning to her cot and lying down, facing away from the testosterone-driven men, both of whom had been admonished into silence.

"So, what is our plan, comrades?" Peasley asked, now that the drama had passed. "To what land have we been taken? And how are we to escape?"

A dark look crossed Shadow the Hedgehog's face—although on that note, such looks weren't particularly unusual for him. "I'm not quite sure. Based on the look of this building, it's possible we're beneath the capital of Reach—New Alexandria. As for how to escape, I doubt there's any chance of that." He glanced at Sackboy. "Unless…"

But the small All-Star looked sad and shook his head.

"Sackboy can imagine into existence many things," Snake expounded. "But even he can't invent a way out of a stronghold like this. Not with Spartan technology working against us."

"So we're just gonna sit here and wait to be punished by these creeps?" Diddy said, lying on his back and fiddling with a banana peel. "That's cool, I guess."

As if in response to the Kong's sardonic complaint, the sealed door chose that moment to open, allowing a single figure inside. She was a tall, athletic woman in a black jumpsuit, with several chrome weapons attached to her limbs, striking red hair that was splayed around her neck like phoenix feathers, and a face that looked like nothing had ever surprised her in her entire life. She was pointing one of her chrome guns at the prisoners as she entered.

"Time to go," she said. "The Chief's holding a tribunal for your war crimes…" She looked at Snake. "Especially yours. Follow me, and don't try anything; this place is loaded with so much security that if you so much as lift a pinky without my permission, you'll be nothing but a pile of ashes before you can say 'whoops.'"

Though intrigued by this newcomer, the heroes realized they had no choice but to follow her out. Before they filed out the door, however, Snake's mind clicked with recognition, and he couldn't help voicing his thoughts.

"I know you…you're the top spy from the Carrington Institute, yes? I thought you were one of those RareWare people…one of those who helped Nintendo in the war?"

The woman smirked, though there seemed to be a faint tinge of genuine sadness about her. "That's ancient history, hotshot. RareWare's nothing but a lost memory these days; we were a bunch of idealistic idiots who thought we could be decent people in an indecent time. Now we know better." She brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "But in case you were wondering, the name's Dark. Joanna Dark. Now hurry up before I taze you."

* * *

IT WILL BE DIFFICULT, Rocketman said, BUT IT CAN BE DONE. PERHAPS. IF WE ARE LUCKY.

"Well, that's comforting," Kazooie said.

They stood in a large circle: the heroes—Game & Watch, Dixie, Nana, Red, Quentin, Banjo & Kazooie, and Megaman—and the Atarians who had been able to sneak away during the Space Invaders' training exercises in their base. Among these were Rocketman; Q*bert with his coiled snake acquaintance; the Pacman ghosts; several ships, some representing the world of Galaga, the rest known as Defenders; the two Slot Racers; three Centipedes, composed of long chains of green segments that turned only at right angles; a fleet of Submarine Hunters (named after the world from which they hailed rather than the ship charged with the task of destroying them from the surface); and a large host of Galaga aliens resembling bees, moths, and spiders.

"One thing I still don't get," Dixie said. "If you've had all these friends to help you, why do you need us to overthrow these Space Invaders?"

BECAUSE WE ARE VASTLY OUTNUMBERED...AND THE QUEEN HAS TRAINED THEM TO ANTICIPATE OUR EVERY MOVE. WE NEEDED A WILD CARD TO CATCH THEM BY SURPRISE: YOU. ALSO...WE SUSPECT THE QUEEN IS NOT ALONE; RATHER, WE BELIEVE SHE ANSWERS TO SOMEONE ELSE WITH WHOM SHE NEGOTIATES THE SALE OF OUR NATURAL RESOURCES.

"What kinds of 'resources' are they harvesting from you, exactly?" Megaman asked.

PIXILLATED ROCKET FUEL, MOSTLY...ALTHOUGH HER CLIENT ALSO SEEMS INTERESTED IN ODDS AND ENDS SUCH AS PACMAN'S POWER PELLETS, CENTIPEDE MUSHROOMS, EVEN GALAGA ORGANS.

Kazooie had been about to point out that since they were only composed of a few pixels, the Galaga surely couldn't have that much inside them worth dissecting. Luckily, this time Banjo beat her to it, clamping his paw around her beak.

"So what're we up against?" the bear asked.

Rocketman took what appeared to be the arrow cursor of a computer mouse and drew a bright, low-resolution diagram on the "ground," with the Sub Hunters watching from below. It was mostly just a hollow green square with a few white blocks around it.

THIS IS THE SPACE INVADERS' BASE, THE CENTER OF THEIR POWER AND RESIDENCE OF THEIR QUEEN. OTHER THAN THE REGULAR PATROLS, IT IS PROTECTED BY THIS THICK WALL, WHICH WE CAN CHIP AWAY AT WITH OUR LONG-RANGE WEAPONS UNTIL WE PENETRATE IT.

"Seems simple enough," Red said.

But Rocketman pointed to the white bars and dots around the exterior. OUR MAIN PROBLEM WON'T BE THE WALL—NOT EVEN THE GUARDS. IT WILL BE THE PONG MACHINES; JUST ONE HIT FROM ONE OF THESE WHITE DOTS IS ENOUGH TO BLAST ANYONE APART INTO TINY PIXELS. NO PRESSURE.

 _Not sure those cherries were worth it anymore,_ Kazooie thought.

THE PONG BARS CANNOT BE DESTROYED AS EASILY AS THE WALL; THEREFORE, WHAT I PROPOSE IS THAT WE SEND MR. GAME & WATCH, NANA, MEGAMAN, AND THE BEAR AND BIRD AHEAD TO DISABLE THEM—IF NOT PERMANENTLY, AT LEAST LONG ENOUGH FOR US TO GET THROUGH AND DEFEAT THEIR QUEEN. ONCE THE QUEEN IS DOWN, THE REST OF THE SPACE INVADERS WILL LOSE THEIR PROGRAMMED PARAMETERS AND WILL BECOME HARMLESS.

The simulated base exploded in a shower of green and white pixels, eliciting beeps and buzzes from the surrounding Atarians that the outsiders had to assume were expressions of enthusiasm. Yet this scenario they'd been thrown into was so bizarre—and the consequences of failing against the Pong bars so severe—that they could scarcely share in their allies' cheering.

THE TRAINING EXERCISES WILL BE OVER SOON...SO LET US BEGIN.

The four designated Smashers had been running through absolute blackness (which was different from darkness because they could see each other perfectly well) for at least ten minutes before the bright green wall loomed near. It was some twenty feet high, and at least a few hundred feet long on each side. Dozens of white Space Invaders rested along it, their expressionless black eyes shuffling a pixel to each side, their two-dimensional bodies tilting like paper cutouts as they watched for intruders. And on each corner, two thick white bars half as tall as the wall took turns bouncing several massive white pellets back and forth, moving up and down to keep the Pong balls in play and to ensure nothing got past them alive. What was more, dotted along the walls were green tanks that matched the wall's color so exactly that they were basically mobile turrets.

"He didn't say anything about the tanks," Nana whispered. The physics of this realm were hard to explain, for though they could just make out the outline of the base from their current position, their angle of perspective was twisted in a way that somehow they were currently invisible to their enemy.

"It does not mat-ter," G.W. said. "You wor-ry a-bout the Pong bars; Me-ga-man and I will wor-ry a-bout their de-fen-ses."

They split up, Nana and G.W. heading beneath the entire base to the opposite corner, Megaman and Banjo & Kazooie remaining where they were. And then, once both pairs were in position, they acted.

Nana bounced up to the level of the wall and cast an icy mist over the two Pong bars on that corner, quickly encasing them in a shell of ice and rendering them immobile. As a result, they were unable to move to catch the white dots, which veered off into empty space. The Space Invaders immediately took notice and began swarming toward the intruders, but while Nana continued to thicken and solidify her frozen targets, G.W. welcomed the security with a flying sausage fest, the charred projectiles essentially invisible against the black backdrop, yet their effectiveness in scorching and disintegrating incoming Space Invaders just as great.

Meanwhile, on the opposite end, Kazooie sprung out of her partner's backpack and spat several Ice Eggs at two more Pong bars, cutting them off from the deadly rebounding pixels. As she did her work and eventually moved on to the next corner, Banjo and Megaman covered her with backpack swings and Charge Shots, the Space Invaders evidently incapable of anything but direct physical attacks, though such was not the case with the wall-mounted tanks which began firing green segments at the intruders.

Megaman and G.W. were grazed by couple shots that rattled their bodies, as if all their molecules were threatening to stop cooperating en masse and simply disperse. But soon enough, all eight Pong bars were frozen solid, and it would surely be several minutes at least before they thawed out (though with this temperature-neutral air, it was rather difficult to tell).

After dodging a Space Invader's reckless dive and smashing it with a turtle, G.W. raised a flag above his head, giving the signal to the rest. As one, Rocketman led his entourage of Atarians in one concentrated throng toward the closest wall, with the other outsiders dotted among them.

The Centipedes headed the charge, crashing headlong into the wall and chipping away at it like sentient battering rams. The Sub Hunters creeped from underneath, launching torpedoes at the wall's underside.

Now that the Space Invaders had been fully provoked, they were pouring out of the base in their hundreds like a hive of angry hornets, which kept the entirety of Rocketman's rebellion occupied. The Pacman ghosts wandered in several directions, chasing the aliens with more vigor than they'd ever pursued Pacman. The Defenders, Slot Racers and Galaga ships waged their 8-bit war on the tanks and Space Invaders, filling the "sky" with an array of square shooting stars. Q*bert and the coiled snake jumped on top of diving Space invaders in the spirit of _Super Mario Bros,_ and the Galaga aliens collided with the bulk of the alien army like a colony of red ants waging war on a legion of termites.

Dixie Kong joined Q*bert in his land assault with her simian acrobatics, using her ponytail propellers to dodge particularly ambitious aliens. Pikachu and Jigglypuff had come out of their Pokéballs to contribute their skills to the skirmish, while Red couldn't do much more than the occasional punch against the weightless foes. His father, on the other hand, drew a long crystal dagger and sliced them apart with practiced precision while the Porygon he'd summoned from the Omni Ball (a creature composed entirely of pink and teal polygons) plowed through the Space Invaders and took out large groups of them with opulent Tri Attacks.

One of the Centipedes had fallen, and many aliens had become casualties on both sides, but after about fifteen minutes, the remaining Centipedes rammed their way through the weakened wall, bulldozing through the hive of Space Invaders inside.

Those who were able followed the heavy-hitters into the base, blasting and swatting their way through the infuriated creatures. The interior of the hollow square was surprisingly barren—save for the massive being at the center, around which the Space Invaders swirled like a green-and-white hurricane.

The Space Invader Queen looked just like the rest, except each of her individual pixels was the size of several entire aliens, and her depthless surface reflected all the colors of the rainbow, sometimes becoming a pure, blinding white depending on the angle.

For whatever reason, the Space Invaders suddenly stopped attacking and allowed them to pass into the eye of the storm, continuing their whirlwind motions as if the intruders weren't even there. Rocketman and G.W. came to the forefront before the enemy leader.

The Queen faced them, her expression as inscrutable as a random tower of colored building blocks. But unlike all her children, she could project text as Rocketman did.

YOU ARE FOOLS TO DISRUPT OUR OPERATION, she said. WE HAVE CLAIMED OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AS SOVEREIGN RULERS OVER THIS PRIMITIVE WORLD, AND WITH THE POWER GRANTED US BY OUR PATRON, YOU WILL ALL BE DESTROYED...

Before any of the heroes could respond, the power the Queen had been referring to made itself manifest. Her shimmering body pulsed, and then from above, huge block clusters began plummeting down toward them like an assemblage of squared-off meteors. They came in blocks of four, in L-shapes, in long stripes of five. They came not just as giant Tetris pieces, but as harbingers of extinction.

As the heroes inside the base barely avoided a two-block piece by diving out of the way, they beheld the destruction around them: another Centipede crushed beneath a yellow T, its segmented body splitting into two separate Centipedes that scurried away from the deadly precipitation; a group of Defenders blown to bits by the rapid descent of a red three-block corner. It was like a pixelated plague of Egypt.

WE WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY YOUR CHEAP PARTY TRICKS, Rocketman said. He rose with his jetpack until he was eye-to-eye (or the closest thing to it) with the Queen, then unleashed a continuous stream of white-purple lasers at the tyrannical alien. Game & Watch joined him with a volley of sausages; Nana lobbed Freezies with her hammer; Megaman added spinning gear-like Metal Blades to the mix; and Kazooie, from Banjo's backpack, regurgitated as many Fire Eggs as she could muster.

With a loud, angry beep, the Queen sent out a rainbow-colored shockwave that incinerated all the projectiles and blasted the heroes off their feet.

HOW IS THIS FOR A PARTY TRICK?

In addition to the relatively slow-falling Tetris blocks, a downpour of thin colored lasers flashed from directly above, and at the same time, a concourse of malignant bubble aliens (which Rocketman recognized from his own world) floated toward them from every side. It would be a massacre.

At least, it would have been, except Pikachu chose that moment to use Quick Attack to join those in the base, and then, his cheeks sparking, he projected a resilient translucent dome of blue energy. The Light Screen reflected both the vertical lasers and the bubble creatures, giving those within the opportunity they needed.

G.W. and Rocketman nodded to each other. The latter backed away, got a running start, and launched himself toward the Queen with his jetpack, accelerating rapidly. G.W. timed his own jump perfectly, grabbing onto the Atarian rebel and pointing his black key straight ahead. Before the Queen could do anything, they had impaled her through the center, and then turned around and did so again from behind for good measure.

She beep and buzzed, and buzzed and beeped, and then, almost like Rocketman's simulation, she exploded in a burst of white light, like a pixelated firework in the midst of their black surroundings. Small individual pixels, sparkling like glitter, showered upon them as the remaining Space Invaders slowed to a stop, landing on the nearest surfaces and offering no further resistance to the Atarian forces.

The rebels beeped with triumph and excitement, and Rocketman himself flew a couple victory loops with his jetpack, but Game & Watch and Nana glanced at each other, for some reason having the same impression.

"We can-not stop here," G.W. said. "There is no doubt now that the Space In-va-ders were sup-ply-ing Pro-fes-sor U-lys-ses Ree-ka. He will find out what has hap-pened and come for us."

"Very astute of you, Smashers."

They turned to behold Reeka standing atop one of the remaining fragments of the green wall, an assemblage of red-eyed R.A.W.s aligned behind him.

"Reeka!" Nana twirled her hammer indignantly, remembering all the horrors he and his abominable creations had caused them in the past. Her encounter with Piranha Gohma in that cave…the very thought of it made her shudder.

He smiled widely, showing his sharp, pointed teeth. "I must admit I did not see this coming…you would think living on an isolated, almost mythical island and killing any Nintendonian to stumble upon it would be enough to ward away you nosy heroes. But it seems some lessons must be retaught over and over until they are engraved either in the students' minds or on their tombstones."

Kazooie shot a grenade egg at the evil scientist, but it passed straight through his head, the goopy paint matter quickly reforming while the egg exploded harmlessly behind him. He cackled and was about to sic his robots on them when he appeared to receive a message from his watch. He frowned and inclined his head to listen to it, temporarily disregarding his future victims, since any move on their part would result in a deadly retaliation from the R.A.W.s. Game & Watch and the others watched in confusion.

"What is it? I'm in the middle of something fun. _What?_ _They're in the laboratory?_ How can this be? No matter; we've got what we came for. Prepare the Vortex Portal for evacuation of all project materials. I shall be there momentarily."

He lifted his head and glared at the heroes and remaining Atarians, specifically Rocketman. "So…you thought you could stop me by having your hungry yellow friend and his bomb-throwing accomplice sneak up on my lab in my absence. Very clever. It appears you shall all live to fight another day, for I have an appointment with Microsoft to keep. I have no further need of Atari's resources, in any case."

"You are wor-king with Mi-cro-soft? What kind of twis-ted pro-ject are you buil-ding for them?" G.W. demanded.

"Heh-heh-heh…let's just say Microsoft has the rest of the pieces of the puzzle I need to create my ultimate weapon. The Metal Gears from Sony…the rocket fuel from Atari…even the geological charts of Nintendo are not quite enough to fulfill my purposes. But with the Spartans' patronage, soon I will reveal my endgame, and every living thing on the Nintendonian continent will be getting 'that sinking feeling'…heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!"

With that, Reeka turned around and activated his own jetpack, flying away into the black void with the R.A.W.s following in his wake.

"We've gotta stop him!" Red said, thinking of the Krackorock hybrid Gadd had told him about, that perverse distortion of Dreamland's Kracko and the Pokémon Regirock. Whatever endgame Reeka was hinting at, they couldn't let it come to fruition.

In agreement, they all went after Reeka and his battle bots, who all ignored them except a few in the rear that turned around and contended with their pursuers, exchanging lasers and missiles with the Atarian ships until they were blasted from beneath by the stealthy Sub Hunters, and soon the heroes were all pressing forward once more.

Suddenly all the remaining R.A.W.s seemed to vanish from sight, and Kazooie had been about to complain about it when they themselves stepped out of the blackness into the almost blinding brightness of the outside world of sand and palm trees and sunny skies.

The Atarians followed them notwithstanding their unfamiliarity with the three-dimensional world until they discovered the place to where Reeka and his minions had been fleeing.

His lab, the black cluster of metal "spider eggs," towered before them—only, something was clearly wrong. Plumes of smoke billowed from a few of the spheres, and forming to one side of the buildings was an enormous purple vortex—undoubtedly the Vortex Portal of which Reeka had spoken.

"Come on!" Nana shouted. But it was too late; as she made to charge forward, the vortex swallowed the entire laboratory, along with Reeka and his R.A.W.s, and within seconds left nothing but a deserted clearing in the swaying trees.

Deeply disappointed but also relieved he'd endured his encounter with Gadd's insane cousin, Game & Watch almost wasn't paying enough attention to spot two figures heading their way from the opposite end of the clearing. Soon, they were close enough to recognize each other, and after that, close enough to greet and embrace.

"Pacman!" Nana said. "Bomberman! What are you guys doing all the way out here?"

"Did Gadd send you here on a special mission?" Dixie Kong asked.

The pair looked a bit sheepish, and the only one of the two who could talk responded. "Yeah…er…about that. Actually, we were just bored; I never thought I'd say this, but Nintendo just isn't very exciting right now. All the fun seems to be happening out here in these islands and other lands. Bomberman reminded me we had an evil professor here to look out for, and to top it off, I really missed home, so we loaded up on his two-man ship and—Rocketman? Goodness; it's been forever!"

Pacman rushed past the Nintendonians and grabbed Rocketman's white hand. He then looked out and noticed all his other Atarian friends, even grinning at the four ghosts who always seemed to have it out for him. "Brothers! I can't believe I'm really here! What've I missed?"

THE SPACE INVADERS TOOK OVER. Rocketman shook Pacman's hand in a very jerky, single-motion fashion. THEN WE STOPPED THEM.

The rest of them nodded or did their equivalent of a nod, as if to say, "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

* * *

The Isle o' Hags was almost large enough to be considered its own country, being several times the size of Timber's Island, and perhaps larger than all the smaller islands on Smash Planet combined. From the currently invisible Ark (Microsoft wasn't the only one that knew how to make use of the Carrington Institute's Cloaking Devices), the land looked as colorful and diverse and fantastic as any Mushroom Kingdom or Hyrule, an almost forgotten world of almost forgotten creatures, seemingly forsaken by the heroes who had once helped it shine.

It was therefore quite odd for the Smash Brothers to descend discreetly toward the shore known as Treasure Trove Cove, in part because of the numerous Spartan gunships occupying the air in periodic clusters, but also because all those who might have been of use to them here—Banjo & Kazooie, Mumbo Jumbo, Humba Wumba, Bottles, and Jam-Jars—were either missing or on other business. The only real foothold they had was with L.O.G.; although he wasn't a resident himself, he seemed quite familiar with its layout and inner workings.

"The Isle o' Hags is an exceedingly tricky world to navigate," the ambassador told Gadd and the other leaders on the command bridge as they gradually landed on the sandy seashore, snapping crabs scuttling out of the way with the rocky arches and grounded pirate ship and life-sized sand castle spread out before them. "It is therefore imperative we not be seen until we are prepared to make our move, much as you would not want your opponent in chess to guess your plan before you can execute it."

"The real question is," DK said, watching the giant witch head of Spiral Mountain disappear behind the cove's plateaus, "How exactly are we gonna take back such a large island before Microsoft can send its big guns and blow our Ark to bits?"

"Our first priority will be locating Mumbo, Bottles, and the others," Gadd said. "My guess is they've been imprisoned somewhere on the island, but by so doing, Microsoft will have unintentionally exposed their inner workings to them, and I believe they will be instrumental in our finding allies among these people and mounting a coup against the Spartans."

"But this place is bigger than my belly on Christmas Eve!" Dedede said, his analogy making perfect sense for once. "How in tarnation're we gonna find these here prisoners?"

L.O.G.'s green Pong bars blinked, the mouse having crawled onto the top of his monitor to spectate with them. "I have two probable theories: Either they will be held in Gruntilda's Lair, in the depths of Spiral Mountain, or they will be kept in a noxious swamp outpost known as Grunty Industries."

"Who's this Grunty person, anyways?" Bowser asked.

"Gruntilda is to the Isle o' Hags as Wizpig is to Timber's Island. To give a brief history, she used to terrorize its denizens by kidnapping them for her witchy experiments. But when she took Banjo's sister, Tooty, the bear and bird embarked on a quest to rescue her, and obviously succeeded. On a few other occasions they have had to face her again, each time the witch being even more dead and decrepit than the last, from flesh and bone to just bone to bone and robot…you get the idea, I presume. Her schemes have always been thwarted and she is long gone. Though most of her fortresses have been destroyed, her lair on Spiral Mountain and in Grunty Industries remain as a sort of abandoned tribute to her demented endeavors."

"But I'm guessing with Microsoft here, those lairs are no longer abandoned," Link said. "Ganondorf was never above commandeering the headquarters of those he conquered."

Gadd nodded. "That's a good point. We will start there, then; I shall divide us into two parties, each of which will infiltrate these strongholds and extract any prisoners being held there." He chuckled to himself. "And while we're at it, we might as well give Master Chief's goons a run for their money."

L.O.G. nodded. "Very well, then. I hope you are all prepared for the jigsaw puzzle of a lifetime."


	14. Chapter 11: Innocent Until Proven

Chapter 11: Innocent Until Proven Guiltless

* * *

" _ **A**_ gent Alpha…why was I not informed of this earlier?"

Master Chief had begun to lose his patience; first the flop in Dreamland, then the fiasco on Atari, and now his spy was trying to tell him Timber's Island had been annexed by the Nintendonians, and their strongest outpost outside of their own mainland, the Isle o' Hags, was next on the hit list.

"My sincerest apologies, Chief; as you know, circumstances have changed, so it has taken slightly longer than usual for me to glean the information you seek."

"Yes…I am well aware of these changes, Alpha. But with the one whom you seek revenge upon in our holding cell, I expect more timely updates in the future if you wish for us to release him into your custody."

"Of course, Chief; I will alert you of their every movement as soon as possible. In fact, at this moment, I can tell you the Smash Brothers' plan: They seek to free the friends of the bear and bird, and to use their inside knowledge to build an army and rise up against our regime there. They are based in Treasure Trove Cove and are to split into two parties—one to search Grunty Industries, the other to head toward Spiral Mountain."

Master Chief felt slightly more grateful he'd kept his spy around rather than killing him when he had the chance…but he wasn't about to tell Agent Alpha that. He paced in front of the wide window of his personal chamber, the flashing night life of New Alexandria extending below like…well, there really wasn't anything quite like it. Reach boasted its own special breed of architectural and technological majesty.

"Good. We will turn their own stratagem against them. Their push toward Microsoft will be put to an end once and for all. However…I'm afraid I will not be taking part in this particular campaign; I have other urgent matters to attend to, including the tribunal for our Sonian and Nintendonian guests."

"You…won't be coming? But Chief, the WarioWare Ark is quite imposing, and even with our advance knowledge, we'll need every—"

"Calm yourself, Alpha; _I_ will not be there personally. But I will not be leaving our colony defenseless; on the contrary, I am sending one of our top operatives to head the mission. I am sending…the witch."

" _Her?"_ Agent Alpha sounded incredulous. "But I thought—"

"You thought wrong. After all, if the Smash Brothers are going to use _their_ island allies to their advantage, why should we not do the same? Yes…Gruntilda the witch is very much alive…and with her might and magic, our soldiers on the Isle o' Hags cannot possibly fail this time."

He ended the transmission, pocketed his communicator, and headed toward the emerald alloy elevator. He had a tribunal to attend.

* * *

Joanna Dark led the prisoners out to a silver shuttle on a docking platform. They were all secured with electric handcuffs that inhibited any PSI or imagination or other magical powers and would shock anyone who tried to pull against them. Then they all filed onto the vessel, which was manned by several Spartans with Joanna bringing up the rear.

No one spoke. Diddy, intrigued by the woman's past with RareWare, wanted nothing more than to ask her questions and possibly win her over to their side, but he knew with New Alexandria's guards around, that wasn't going to happen. So instead, he and the other prisoners contented themselves with looking out through the shuttle's barred windows at the spectacular city around them.

It was dark, but that made the colorful glow of the flying vehicles, the holographic advertisements, and the sleek building lights all the more dazzling. It reminded Roy quite a bit of Megaland's Central City, with not a pedestrian in sight, shuttles of varying design crossing above and below at considerable speeds while somehow managing to never collide with each other. The main differences between the two cities were New Alexandria's predominant emerald green and silver themes; a genuine night sky as opposed to Central City's computer grid heavens; and a much richer, more creative architecture, such as that of the skyscrapers topped with ring-shaped structures.

Before long, the shuttle zoned in on another semicircular docking platform, which stuck out from one of the lower floors of the grandest building of the city: a massive, round-roofed edifice with a cool blue glow running up the center of its chrome surfaces like a Poptart with radioactive blueberry filling.

They landed and disembarked, being led into another emerald green hallway and to an elevator that took them up at least a dozen floors to their destination.

The courtroom was, again, similar to that of Central City, but of an even more modern design. The walls and floors, a mix of dark green and electric blue panels, gave the impression of a race that accepted nothing short of the best of the best, that operated under the strictest discipline in both civil and military matters, that had advanced to a level of technological sophistication that made other worlds pale in comparison. Several semicircular tiers rose above them, the occupants mostly Spartan soldiers with a number of human dignitaries dotted among them in official-looking uniforms. After what they'd been put through, some of the prisoners were struck by how human these people actually appeared—as if their oppressors' civilian populace surely couldn't be real people with real lives and families of their own.

Master Chief sat on a raised dais at the center, his identity made clear mostly by his assertive demeanor and central position rather than the subtle differences between his armor and that of his fellow Spartans. He stood and waited while the prisoners were escorted by Joanna and the other Spartan guards to benches that made them feel like insects under a magnifying glass.

"We have convened today to right wrongs that have been long left unresolved," he said, his gaze for the most part appearing to be fixed on Snake—at least, as far as any of them could tell from the emotionless features of the amber-visored helmet. "The rights of passage between our worlds have for a time been closed off, and for good reason…but now that the Nintendonians have forced them open once more, we have been given no choice but to take appropriate action, which includes bolstering our defenses, securing our territorial possessions, and bringing justice to war criminals who had been, until now, unreachable. But now, for the good of Smash Planet, our Reach must extend itself to our neighbors insofar as they have obstructed the execution of justice for the lamentable crimes of the Copyright Wars."

Snake couldn't tell whether Master Chief's pun had been intended or not; somehow, he suspected the Spartan considered it more of a poetic coincidence than a joke, a relatable slogan that would appeal to the masses of Reach as they sought euphemistic ways of describing their interference in Nintendo, Sony, and the Islands. He considered retorting, but then looked over at his friends: Sackboy; Toon Link; Tetra; Yoshi; Peasley; Falco; Meta Knight; Samus; Captain Falcon; Roy; Ness; Diddy; Popo; Shadow…he'd be willing to risk his _own_ life if it meant taking a stab at his Microsian nemesis's pride, but not that of others. His impropriety when speaking had already cost enough lives.

"First, the Nintendonians…although you have kept the terms of our truce these past years, when you refused to relinquish the war criminal Solid Snake into our rightful custody, you not only became complicit accomplices in obstructing justice but resorted to violence against us to prevent it, and for that, consequences must follow. You will serve three years in prison, after which you will be granted passage back to your world under the condition that you never venture to Microsoft, Sony, Atari Island, Timber's Island, or the Isle o' Hags again."

 _So much for a fair trial,_ Snake thought.

"But Timber's Island's my home!" Diddy couldn't help protesting. "One of them, anyway. You can't forbid me from returning there."

"You should have thought of that before you violated our truce…and yes, we _can_ enforce these terms, with all of the abovenamed islands under our stewardship, save for Nintendo and Sony themselves. Now…as for the two Sonians, Shadow and Sackboy…you are guilty of the same crimes as the Nintendonians; as such, you are also sentenced to three years' imprisonment under the same conditions, except when you are returned to Sony, you will not be allowed to visit the Nintendo World, either."

Shadow clenched his fists within their electric bonds, wishing more than anything he could crack Master Chief's helmet like an egg right then and there.

"Now…Solid Snake…these are the charges being brought against you: insubordination and failure to obey direct orders; treason and conspiring with enemies of the state; desertion; murder; assault; perjury; larceny; smuggling; trespassing; and arson."

"Arson?" Captain Falcon chuckled under his breath, stealing a glanced at Snake. "What the heck were you doing during the Copyright Wars?"

Snake risked a small smirk in response, but kept his eyes fixed on Master Chief.

"Don't I get to plead 'not guilty?' Because I'm pretty sure—"

"Your guilt has already been determined," the Chief said. "This is a sentencing hearing. And with the weight of your crimes, you are hereby sentenced to death…the means of execution that of being offered to the Great Moon Deity through the Pit of Obaba."

The humans and Spartans along the tiered seats began muttering, the general sentiment of their voices sounding like that of mixed approval and pity.

"Are you done?" Snake pretended not to care about how horrible his fate sounded.

Master Chief stared at him for a moment, an air of professional balefulness somehow emanating through his helmet.

"You are permitted to speak."

"Good." Snake looked out at his friends, then up across the watching residents of Reach. "I will not lie. I have killed; I have fought; I have stolen; I have disobeyed; and I have fled. I have even been a traitor...but not to Microsoft's imperialistic rule during the war. No…my betrayal was against my own people, and that was in ever believing that by following Microsoft's orders, I could keep Sony safe from their greedy mouths. Everything I have ever done was to protect my home…" He fixed his gaze on Yoshi. "And what they call disobedience, I call refusing to shoot people who don't deserve it. Had I been their perfect soldier, Yoshi, you would be dead…along with your friend, Mario."

Yoshi's eyes widened. He wished he could remember the circumstances that confirmed Snake's story, but his intuition told him the self-exiled veteran was telling the truth.

Snake's eyes lingered on the Spartans and leaders of Reach. "You all claim your actions are in the interest of Microsoft's safety…and yet as in the times before, now you would once again place your people's lives in jeopardy…and for what? To extend your borders? To conquer all of Smash Planet? To establish your nauseating hierarchal society atop the ashes of your victims? Make no mistake…that is the purpose the Master Chief and his Spartan thugs have recruited you to achieve."

Snake began to choke up in spite of himself. "There was once a time…not long ago…that I believed there to be no hope for my world. No hope for Sony and Nintendo and Microsoft to ever truly find lasting peace with each other. But now…" He gestured toward the gathered Smash Brothers and All-Stars. "Now I know that hope to be real, and I know that my death will not change the truth—that our unity, our bonds of camaraderie rooted in compassion and selflessness, shall always triumph over your pretended union of power-hungry princes. And for that…you will have only yourselves to blame."

He said no more, but neither did he stand down.

"Very moving," Master Chief said, as if Snake had merely been a child making a mediocre attempt to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. "Let the court note that the condemned expresses no remorse for his infractions. Court adjourned."

And that was it. The prisoners could do nothing but allow themselves to be carted back out of the courtroom, down the hallway and elevator, and into the shuttle.

As the door slid shut and they lifted into the air, however, the heroes allowed their horror to show itself.

"They can't do this," Toon Link said, his eyes fixed on Snake. "He was never really part of Microsoft's army; he and Sony were just impressed into it and should've been cleared of all charges when the truce was signed."

"The kid's right," Tetra said, also looking at Snake with concern.

But Snake remained perfectly calm. "Master Chief can do whatever he wants…when he's the one in power."

"This is bull crap," Falco said.

Despite their previous disagreement, Captain Falcon couldn't help but agree. "We've gotta do something before the execution." He'd completely disregarded the fact that Joanna Dark was listening to everything they said, but Diddy Kong was keenly aware of it.

"Joanna…" Diddy tried to catch the woman's eye, but with no success. "You have to believe us. Master Chief's the one who attacked _us_ in Sony; we were just trying to defend ourselves, but he destroyed our ship and killed two of our friends. RareWare's not dead; my whole family and my friends on Timber's Island and the Isle o' Hags would be all for supporting its cause—not to mention L.O.G., the ambassador who came all the way to Nintendo by himself because _he_ still believes in RareWare. Why don't you?"

"L.O.G.?" Joanna's expression had remained rigid until the Kong had mentioned that name. But she quickly shook her head as if to dislodge the idea from her brain. "Clearly you aren't very up to date on current events, kid. Your friends on Timber's Island are all dead or captured. A word of advice: Your only hope now is to hunker down and take your lumps…and then, _maybe_ , they'll let you live."

"Funny." Samus pushed off from the wall against which she'd been leaning and stood up straight. "You don't seem like the kind of girl to just give up on things at the first sign of danger."

"Where are we going?" Popo was pointing out the window, calling to attention the fact that they were in a part of New Alexandria they'd never seen before. "We didn't pass through here on the way to the tribunal."

Joanna ignored Samus's comment, choosing to respond to Popo. "Solid Snake is to be transferred to another ship, which will take him to the Vigoor Empire where he will await execution. We will drop him off and then return the rest of you to the holding cell."

"No…" Ness was on the verge of tears. He'd only known Snake for a few days, and yet it seemed like he and the other All-Stars were old friends. He didn't know if he could bear to leave the man to such a gruesome fate.

During the last few minutes of their flight, some of the least complacent among them seriously considered rebelling. But they knew without their hands or their powers, their chances of long-term success were slim to none. They waited silently until their destination was imminent: a low floodlit rooftop which also served as a landing pad for one of Reach's recognizable gunships. A small group of Spartans stood by the vessel expectantly, ready to bear their condemned cargo to his doom.

The shuttle landed, and the door slid open.

"Please," Diddy Kong said at last. "You don't have to do this."

But Joanna said nothing, simply pushing Snake with her through the exit.

"Don't move," she said to the prisoners on her way out.

They watched from the open shuttle door as Snake was led, unresisting, into the hands of the Spartans.

Joanna began heading back as the soldiers prepared to load their quarry into the gunship.

And then she pounced.

With a sudden backflip, the agent drew two silver guns and stunned the two Spartans escorting Snake mid-jump, which meant she'd fired while looking at her targets upside down. Three more Spartans yelled and came at her, raising their guns, but she made quick work of two more of them, her shadow barely distinguishable from her black jumpsuit, while Snake brought his handcuffed arms around another's head and wrestled him to the floor, strangling him into unconsciousness in a matter of seconds.

"This way," she called to the shuttle's occupants, pressing a button on a remote control that caused their electric handcuffs to fizzle out of existence. She and Snake began dragging the five Spartans, including the pilot who had come out to aid his crew, toward the shuttle. Yet the recently liberated heroes were temporarily stunned with confusion.

"Out you go, fellas," one of the two Spartans at the front of the shuttle said. "We haven't got all day."

Joanna saw their perplexity and gave a quick explanation. "They're with us. Two agents from the Institute who managed to secure a couple Spartan suits. Now hurry up before someone out here realizes we're breaking protocol."

They obediently filed out, Captain Falcon and Samus stopping to help Snake and Joanna fling the Spartans into the prison shuttle.

"What'll happen to them?" Toon Link asked.

"They're going to the holding cell, of course. Most everyone will just see the gunship bearing its condemned prisoner to Vigoor as planned, unless they happened to be paying attention during the few seconds it took us to take out their crew—which is possible, but unlikely. And even if they did see us, by the time they get reinforcements here or realize the holding cell doesn't actually contain its intended inmates, we'll be long gone."

They clambered into the gunship, glancing out anxiously at the hustle and bustle of New Alexandria above them. Fortunately, the darkness would be their ally in shrouding the truth of what had just happened on this platform, but still they couldn't shake the feeling that the Master Chief wouldn't be quite that easy to dupe.

The prison shuttle door closed and lifted off, while Joanna, Snake, Samus, Captain Falcon, and Falco climbed into the spacious cockpit, being the most flight-savvy among them. And just like that, the gunship rose and sped off into the night, hopefully with no one the wiser.

* * *

Red, Nana, and Mr. Game & Watch had temporarily panicked when they discovered their communicators had been lost. No doubt it had happened at some point during the chaos off of Candy Chateau and their stay in the Wailord's belly (Red had one on behalf of the two Pokémon Smashers he accompanied). But fortunately, once they found a nice cluster of sandy rocks upon which to sit and convene, Pacman and Bomberman revealed that they possessed a "Game Boy" of their own.

"There's no telling how many other communicators are out of commission now," Megaman said, naturally able to understand Gadd's technology without ever having used it. "Send out an open signal to the Smash Brothers' frequency, and hopefully whoever's still out there with a functioning device will pick up."

Pacman did so, and the Nintendonians, All-Stars, and Rocketman (who told his Atarian army they could wait back in their homely black void for a plan to be made) crowded around the small contraption, its blue backlit screen reflecting off their eyes.

It buzzed for several seconds with no answer. But just when Red was beginning to fear they were alone in the world, a _bing_ signaled a response, followed by a second. Pacman pressed the A button twice to accept both calls and set it to hologram chat, causing the figures of Princess Peach and Professor E. Gadd to materialize above Pacman's hands, the translucent images flickering due to the great distance between the callers.

"Professor," Pacman said. "Princess. Thank goodness you guys are all right!"

"Yes." Gadd chuckled. "And thank goodness no one left the mainland on their own to check up on my cousin against instructions. Whose idea was that? I'm curious." He turned his eyes to Bomberman. "Was it yours?"

But Bomberman just shook his head, pointing his spherical hand at Pacman unreservedly.

Pacman would have tried to argue if his traveling companion hadn't been right. He sighed. "Yeah, it was me. I'm sorry; I was just so worried about my home with that Reeka guy so close to them."

Gadd just chuckled and winked conspiratorially. "Don't sweat it, lad; it looks like your little side quest turned out for the better; although I'm sure Atari is perfectly capable of defending itself, we would've been at war on two fronts now if you hadn't scared Ulysses away. Now, then…"

He went on to describe the current status of the Isle o' Hags and how they were about to head out to rescue their friends and free the island from Microsoft's clutches. Banjo & Kazooie, however, couldn't help but become a bit agitated by the grim news.

"With all due respect, professor," the bear said, "I sure wish we'd come with you; we coulda been a lotta help on our own turf."

"Yeah, what gives?" Kazooie added, without any due respect whatsoever.

"Yes, I apologize; it seems in our rush to get as many Copyright War veterans over to Sony as possible, we neglected the needs of the Islands—although we never could have anticipated that Mumbo and your other friends would return to the island on their own ahead of us, or that we'd be facing such a serious military threat. And that's why I propose…that you fellas on Atari come and join the party!"

Banjo & Kazooie glanced at each other, elated.

"Really?" Banjo said.

"Yes, indeed; with L.O.G. here to give us a general scope of the place, we've got a decent plan, but something in my old hair follicles tells me we'll need all the help we can get." He turned to Quentin. "Bomberman has a transport, but that won't be enough to get all of you across the ocean. Quentin, do you think you could conjure up a way to carry the rest?"

The well-traveled man nodded, his arms folded. "If the Pokémon will it so…and with the turbulence of war stirring up the seas, I feel that their priorities will be the same as ours."

"And what would you have us do?" Peach's hologram asked. "We've been seeking as much Sonian support as we can, with decent success. Should we begin making our way toward the Isle o' Hags, too?"

"Well, like I said before, there's no way you and the rest of the All-Stars would get here in time for this next battle…seeing as it's basically already started. So I'm afraid all you can do for the time being is continue recruiting—which, make no mistake, is of tremendous importance. The time for all of us to converge on Microsoft will come soon enough."

"Of course."

"One thing I still don't get," Dixie Kong said. "How did Master Chief know we'd be in Sony? Did anyone let that slip during the Battle of Dreamland?"

That gave Gadd pause as he replayed in his head all their interactions with the Master Chief during that encounter. "Gadzooks…I don't believe we've ever mentioned it to any of the Microsians at all. But that could only mean that either Master Chief was an extremely lucky guesser, or…"

"Or there's a traitor among us." Megaman said. "The question is…who?"

* * *

It had taken all of two hours for Gadd to divide the Ark passengers into two groups—or three, if you counted those who were to remain on the Ark.

Wario and Waluigi, of course, were chief among these, their greatest interest once again being the protection of their property. The Ark would be shielded from sight and could lift off at a moment's notice, but if there was even the slightest chance that a wayward crab might scratch the paint, they would be there to make sure nothing of the sort happened. They were joined by Pipsy, who had no desire to get involved in an armed conflict, as well as Jody Summer and Dr. Clash, who were staying behind with the group of Mute City citizens and Gadd's fifty-odd R.O.B.s in case there was any trouble. The F-Zero engineer would monitor the progress of both other parties and communicate with them when necessary.

Those bound for Spiral Mountain included DK, Link, Zelda, Ruto, Marth, Nyna, Gotoh, Gary, Mewtwo, Pit, and all the Smash Brother armies that corresponded to these heroes. Because their numbers (as well as that of the Grunty Industries party) were so great, they were forced to go on foot, although fortunately, according to L.O.G.'s report, Spiral Mountain was at the dead center of the island—not too far—while Grunty Industries was a bit farther, but they could pretty well reach it by sticking to the coast until they were about two-thirds of the way to the opposite end.

Among those making their way to Grunty Industries were Gadd, L.O.G., Mario, Luigi, Bowser, the Chestnut King, Kirby, Dedede, and all the corresponding armies that remained, which were almost exclusively connected with the Mushroom Kingdom with the exception of the regiment from Dreamland. And thus the Smash Brothers set out to divide and conquer.

* * *

They knew it would be impossible for several hundred Nintendonians to sneak around the coast of the Isle o' Hags unseen, but fortunately, L.O.G. knew the island well enough to remember that as they made their way around the southern coast toward Grunty Industries (which was located near the southwestern corner), the only major regions they'd pass through were Jolly Roger's Lagoon and Bubblegloop Swamp, neither of which were likely to pose any militaristic threat to the passing travelers.

They made their way steadily along the beach, Treasure Trove Cove earning its name with a hoard of jewels and gold coins guarded jealously by a giant crab called Nipper, golden music Notes glittering in the bright sun. On one occasion, Dedede reached greedily to open a seemingly abandoned treasure chest—only for the monstrous Lockup to open its maw and clamp down on the penguin's hand. He bellowed in pain, shaking his arm in vain, and it was only when the Chestnut King cleaved the chest in two with his broadsword that the avaricious monarch was freed.

Pressing on (without any further detours), they eventually found the beach curving sharply inland, forming the small bay that served as the serene natural setting of Jolly Roger's Lagoon. It was a tiny seaport consisting of a few red-shingled buildings set against sheer, moss-covered cliffs, the only strange thing being the ominously deep, dark water directly in the middle of the bay.

Though nothing seemed suspicious with anthropomorphic sailors and townsfolk going about their business, Mario and Luigi scouted ahead to check for any signs of hostile presence. They came across a hippo-pirate called Captain Blubber who told them that Microsoft had indeed taken over the island, but their community was so small and remote that it hadn't been considered important enough to merit constant occupation. They met the frog barman Jolly Roger himself in the saloon, who confirmed Blubber's report and expressed great excitement upon hearing of the Smash Brothers' mission to rid them of Microsian control. Satisfied with their investigation, the brothers returned and reported.

The Smash Brothers proceeded through the town, shocking everyone except those with whom the Mario Brothers had conversed. But as tempting as it was to stop for a jug of ale or go for a ride on Blubber's jet skis, they had no time to socialize or recreate. As such, they passed in and out of the port unhindered, the only slight delay caused by Kirby inhaling a polar bear cub's beach ball. He spat it out on demand—only to get it firmly wedged in a sewage pipe, no doubt causing serious sanitation issues for the town later on.

The rocky shore on the other side of Jolly Roger's Lagoon soon gave way to the marsh they'd expected—Bubblegloop Swamp. This time, the shore was too steep and jagged to navigate safely, so they were forced delve into the swamp itself, the stench of caked mud swelling through their nostrils almost immediately as if they'd just walked into a public cow bathroom after a rainstorm. The mixed greens and browns of the goopy ground, sucking at the footwear of all who trod upon it, did not help matters, either.

They trudged slowly through the thick mud, passing by extremely wide tree trunks that ranged from ten to twenty feet in diameter, the sky completely obscured by a dense caramel apple haze. The occasional popping of mud bubbles made them feel like they were all stuck in a very poorly made soup, like a cauldron of frogs being slowly boiled to death.

The end of the swamp was in sight, a faint purple glow suggesting an even less healthy environment ahead, when a gang of short crocodiles cut them off, bringing their progress to an immediate halt. They very much resembled Kongo Jungle's Klaptraps, almost like a bunch of miniaturized K. Rool airships—only, these were very much alive and scaly and slimy—and hungry. They were all bright green except for the blood-red one at the center, who appeared to be their leader.

"Look, boys…someone brought us a snack!" he snapped in a growling puppy dog voice. "Let's dig in!"

Seeing there was to be no negotiating with these creatures, Mario, Luigi, and Bowser took the forefront, letting loose a raging torrent of red, orange, and green flames. And that alone proved to be enough to replace the crocodiles' appetite for meat with an appetite for survival. They snapped and growled and hopped with fright, scattering back into the more liquid parts of the swamp, determined not to venture out again until they were absolutely certain the Hot Demon Magic had gone.

Bowser sniffed. "Another one bites the dust."

"Very good," Gadd chuckled even while he looked in dismay at his swamp-soaked boots. He looked over at L.O.G., certain the computer would find such a place equally uncomfortable—only to be reminded that the ambassador floated well clear of the ground, not subject to any of the wilderness's harsh terrains.

At last, through the trees they beheld the infamous tarn of terror, the dreaded factory of fear: Grunty Industries. The already unstable ground gave way to a veritable lake of purple filth, the level of pollution in both the water and the air unfathomable. Most of them were forced to cover their mouths and noses from the toxic mist surrounding the tall structure, which was situated in the middle of a clearing of decaying yellow trees.

It was built of dull orange bricks with rusted metal doors and catwalks and two ugly smokestacks far above that thankfully did not appear to be emitting anything. The building and its noxious mote seemed poisonous to both body and soul, as if just by looking at it, the bog was slowly siphoning away their life force into its monstrous innards—which, judging by the very real light-headedness most of them were beginning to experience, might very well be true. A few clumps of corroded orange rocks protruded here and there, but the problem was that there seemed to be no safe way across to the large metal doors at the building's base.

The Chestnut King walked up to the edge of the purple moat, pulled out a long bamboo (or sugar cane?) walking stick, and dipped the tip inside. It sizzled immediately, and the islander retracted the staff to find the tip completely disintegrated, the remaining edge caramelized by the highly acidic liquid.

"Hm," Gadd said. "I guess we won't be getting in that way. L.O.G., any ideas? Is there some kind of switch to create a bridge of some sort, perhaps?"

The monitor shook itself. "In another time, it is possible there were safe entrances devised, but it is clear that since Grunty's death, while not as completely dismantled as Cauldron Keep and Witchyworld, this site has fallen into disrepair. I am not even certain Microsoft will have made any use of this place; it is just that there are no other large buildings left on the island other than at Spiral Mountain itself."

"Maybe we should've brought Dr. Clash's racers with us after all," Bowser growled.

"Possibly," Gadd said. "But we had hoped to reserve those for when we most need them: against the Microsian mainland, where their technology is most highly concentrated. No…it's clear that we will not all be getting inside."

King Dedede already saw where this was going, and he went to his instinctive grumbling. "Ya couldn't even have brought your doggone hover car?"

"Even if I'd tried, lad, I'm afraid there's no way it would have fit through those giant trees back there."

"Let's a-go, bro," Mario said, drawing out two orange Mushrooms with quaint yellow propellers spinning on top.

Luigi sighed; he'd been hoping to sit out of the creepy factory tour. Something about the place made him just as tense as he'd felt in Gadd's abandoned mansion. Oh well.

Kirby, in turn, beamed at Dedede. "Fly!"

Dedede looked around at the watching faces around him and relented, realizing he would be expected to pull his own weight on this expedition, and now was the time to prove he was no longer the coward he once was—or that he could suppress his cowardice, at least.

Once the Mario Bros had each consumed one of the Mushrooms and sported red helmets with spinning propellers, they joined Kirby and Dedede at the edge of the moat and pushed off. The latter two simply puffed through the air, while Mario and Luigi had to ensure they maintained a direct course so their gradual descent did not end in a quick but painful death being deep-fried by purple muck. L.O.G., meanwhile, floated over the moat behind them. They all landed safely in front of the rusted doors and glanced back at the other side, where Gadd and the others were waving them good luck ( _or goodbye,_ Luigi thought, _depending on how much confidence they place in us_ ). And with that, with the combined strength of Mario and Dedede, they forced the door open and squeezed inside.

"You've come to sssave your friendsss…yesss?"

The wispy voice echoed through the wide chamber before they'd even had a chance to take in their surroundings. It was a huge room, with railed walkways high on each wall, and on the opposite end, a giant grated fan the size of Master Hand's television. And yet, the one thing they expected to see wasn't anywhere to be found: the source of the voice.

"We're a-here to stop a-Microsoft," Mario called. "And to a-find a-Mumbo, Humba, Bottles, and a-Jam-Jars."

A long hissing sound, which Mario could only guess was laughter. "I could cite ssseveral building protocolsss that do not allow sssimpletons such as yourselvesss inside…but there's no point wasssting time when I've been inssstructed to do away with you inssstantly!"

A cylindrical metal object dropped from somewhere above, the clanking noise ringing through the factory with ear-splitting coarseness. The tool shed-sized cylinder was covered in a yellow apparatus and several red patches, and most noticeably, a hose was attached to it that ended in a snake-like head, not terribly unlike Negativitron, but instead of a vacuum nozzle, the bright blue flame kindling from its mouth made it quite clear what kind of tool it was modeled after.

"Weldar," L.O.G. stated. "One of the Jiggy-guarding monsters the bear and bird faced inside Grunty Industries. What business could he possibly have with us? It does not compute…"

As the first jet of blue flames crashed against the wall above Dedede's head, singeing the top of his hat, the penguin gulped.

"We ain't gonna have no time to update your logbook if he burns us to a buncha crispy nuggets."

The five of them moved to either wall as Weldar spat several more blue flames in their direction. And that was when those on each side took very different approaches toward their most recent enemy.

From the right, Mario and Luigi wall-jumped onto Weldar's hose, casting fireballs and attempting to punch holes in the tube. But Weldar hopped and spun, throwing both of them off with a mocking hiss.

"Fire isss _my_ element…you cannot harm me with my own ssstrength!"

While the plumbers kept Weldar busy, Kirby looked back and forth from the machine to L.O.G. and decided to take a calculated risk. He turned to L.O.G…and began to inhale.

L.O.G. was taken aback, doing all he could to resist the vacuum-like pull. "Master Kirby…what is the meaning of this?"

That meaning became clear when from within his cloak, a shiny CD spun into Kirby's mouth. He swallowed with a grateful smile and transformed into Cutter Kirby, turned to Dedede, and pointed at the red patches on Weldar's cylindrical body.

"Pop!"

Dedede clutched his hammer, allowing the head to unfold into its rocket function, and grinned. "For once, little puffball, you're makin' some sense!"

The both charged forward, Kirby tossing cutter blades at the narrow spaces between the patches and the body, Dedede bringing back his hammer and unleashing a rocket-powered swing that knocked off two of the six patches at once.

Weldar hissed and leapt backward as steam billowed out from the holes.

"You foolsss!"

He regurgitated a small army of sentient nuts, bolts, and washers (all with eyeballs), which distracted the heroes while he activated an electric grid that crisscrossed over the floor, threatening anyone who made a misstep. Weldar began spitting additional flames, occasionally attempting to pull them into the high-voltage grid by sucking at them like a vacuum for a few seconds.

L.O.G., having recovered from the shock of Kirby's apparent attempt to eat him, dived into the fray while avoiding Weldar's obstacles. His screen flashed on and off, stunning several surrounding foes and giving his mouse time to hop from nut to bolt to washer, taking each out in turn. He extended a few open-ended wires from within his cloaked and zapped several more, coiling the cords around some and straight-up jabbing at others.

With Mario, Luigi, and L.O.G.'s help, Kirby and Dedede were able to get near enough to Weldar to continue their assault. With a few more cutter blades and two more rocket hammer swings, the last of the patches blew off, and the resulting explosion blew all of them away back toward the entrance, Weldar's shrapnel scattering across the scorched room.

Dedede sat up, breathing heavily. "Whoo. That was quite some tussle, don'tcha—"

Weldar's canister had caused an entire metal wall to come crashing down, revealing a hidden cage through which several familiar faces began climbing out.

"It's a-them!" Luigi rejoiced.

And, indeed, it was Mumbo, Humba, Bottles, and Jam-Jars—along with several others: Tiptup the turtle; Bumper the ski-goggled panda; Timber the baseball-capped tiger; Krunch, the Kremling with a black skull T-shirt; Drumstick the overalled rooster; and T.T., a big red-and-yellow stopwatch with hands, feet, and a very literal face.

"Most excellent!" L.O.G. said. "We have found not only the Isle o' Hags prisoners, but those of Timber's Island as well."

Mumbo coughed and came up to Mario, shaking his hand. "Mumbo and friends be mighty glad you come to help," he said. "Now me think we should go before—"

Something huge struck the outside of Grunty Industries, rattling the entire building. Then it happened again.

"Poyo?" Kirby asked.

* * *

In spite of L.O.G.'s fairly reliable directions, the other company of Smash Brothers found their journey toward Spiral Mountain rather mindboggling. With DK, Link, and Gary at the front, the Hylians, Akaneians, and Pokémon traversed the short span across Treasure Trove Cove, under the arch that bore a tall white lighthouse, avoiding the hopping clams known as Yum Yums until they reached the safety of the woods.

But the Click Clock Wood wasn't nearly as straightforward to navigate as the beach. They came out into a vast clearing with the largest tree any of them had ever seen (including the Great Deku Tree) rising up toward the sky like a bark-covered skyscraper. Wooden boardwalks circled around the massive trunk, while small brooks and grassy slopes decorated the ground around it.

L.O.G. had informed them that this wood was really one of four identical regions, each of which appeared to be a different season—summer, fall, winter, and spring. Somehow, they formed a ring of forested land around the center of the island, physically taking up four times as much space as any one quarter while at the same time being home to the very same beavers, eagles, and bees in each location, as if by moving from one quarter to another, one was actually moving through time instead. They had come out in the summer wood, but according to their informant, the only way out into the center of the island was through a tree hole that only functioned as an exit during the spring.

In each region, the way they came into the clearing was mirrored by another entrance on the opposite end of the tree, so they followed the brook around the giant tree toward the end of the summer wood. Along the way, DK had to punch a burly blue bull into the creek and Link shot down a couple green vulture-like birds as they dove toward him, but otherwise they passed through without incident.

Next was the fall wood, with the trees red and orange and piles of leaves covering the previously lush ground. Pit took the opportunity to fly ahead and cut down several bucktoothed creatures dressed like Merry Men who charged at him like drunken elves. And thus they moved on.

The winter wood was frosty and frozen and almost deserted except for vicious snowmen who tossed snowballs at them relentlessly. Mewtwo and Gotoh finally had enough of it and used their Psychic and magic to violently disassemble the snowy constructs. As they stepped carefully across the frozen stream, Zelda used Din's Fire to prevent several eyeballed ice cubes from sliding into them.

"Does everything have eyes around here?" DK wondered aloud.

Finally, they came to the spring wood, where life seemed to be beginning anew, the baby eagle cawing from the giant nest above, the beaver busy constructing his subterranean home beneath the water. But this time, they had to actually ascend the boardwalk, which proved more difficult than expected. Their spiraling ascent was marred with many waving Whipcracks—dangling tree roots that stuck out of the bark and seemed intent on knocking off unwary climbers. They were so densely clustered that Marth and other swordsmen had to slice them off every few yards. And even after slowly working their way up, they found a veritable hive of giant bees barring their way out.

"Bzzzz…you strangerzzz venture too close to our prizzzed honeycombs. Prepare to be stung!"

Before the Smash Brothers could reason with the creatures, they found themselves faced with a cloud of sting needles flying toward them.

Those with magic stopped some of the needles, while the Gorons and several Rock Type Pokémon hurled boulders at the swarm, causing the bees to scatter, and archers of varying origin chased them away with a flock of whirring arrows. The Smash Brothers had come too far to be hindered by some overly protective insects.

Finally, they passed through the wide hole in the trunk, the darkness taking them from the heights of the tree to the field leading up to and surrounding Spiral Mountain.

"Was that really the easiest way for us to get here?" Princess Ruto complained.

As if in response, a formation of pterodactyls flew along the distant tree line, coupled by the faint roar of what was almost certainly a T-Rex.

"Yeah…I think so," Gary said.

But of greater concern than the efficiency of their route was the view before them. Spiral Mountain's green surfaces had a sliced spiraling trail winding up to the top, just like its name suggested. A suspended bridge led from the peak into the mouth of a disturbing giant witch head made almost entirely of rock except for its hypnotic emerald eyes. The surrounding ground was relatively flat and unremarkable except for a few small mole hills and what looked like the ruins of a modest blue house in a nook to one side.

And then, of course, there were the Spartans, scattered across the area like gun-toting ants, several gunships stationed along the grass. A pair guarded the entrance to Gruntilda's Lair as if it were some kind of throne room.

DK held out a hairy arm, stopping the rest of them before they came out into the open where they'd be easily spotted. Most of their armies were still in the dark passage or waiting back on the giant tree.

"What do we think? Mumbo and the others could be inside that witch head. Should we make a run for it?"

Link shook his head. "We have greater numbers than them, but most of our soldiers are ill-equipped to take on these kinds of warriors. We need a more subtle plan."

Zelda nodded, her hand brushing Link's arm. "The Hero of Time is right. We must extract our friends with as few casualties as possible."

 _"Our Pokémon might stand a chance against them,"_ Mewtwo mused. _"But something does not feel right…what if this is a trap?"_

As if in response, an unearthly cackle resounded from within the witch head, almost as if it had spoken itself. The next moment, a plump, black-cloaked figure sped out of the mouth like a hairball, hovering on a wild-bristled broomstick.

Green skin. Long nose. Purple scarf. Witch hat. There was no mistaking it: This was Gruntilda—back from the dead.

And the worst part was…she seemed to be looking directly at them, a crooked smile stretching across her warty face (at least, that was how DK imagined it from this distance).

"Spartans come, one and all

for we have guests who've come to call!

Bear and bird are gone, it seems

But Nintendo's Smash Brothers it brings

to boot us out of my sweet isle;

well, I say come and stay a while!

Now let us show these Smashers soft

the strength of mighty Microsoft!"

Gunships lifted off; Spartans bee-lined toward them; and small, colorful, fox-like creatures began pouring out of Gruntilda's Lair into the sky behind the witch.

DK and the rest found themselves temporarily stunned. But he tried to take comfort in the sparkling entities that were coming from the lair. He pointed at them.

"Well, hey; at least we've got the Jinjos here to help us!"

The purple "Jinjo" at the head of the formation sped toward them, its dark eyes glinting with none of the friendliness the Smash Brothers had known in the Battlefields.

"I don't think those are the Jinjos we remember," Pit said, drawing his bow as the rest of their army filed out from Click Clock Wood to the imminent battlefield of Spiral Mountain.


	15. Chapter 12: Grunty's Revenge (1)

Chapter 12: Grunty's Revenge

* * *

" _ **H**_ ow did you know she would help us?" Captain Falcon asked Snake as the gunship flew over western Reach. The terrain wasn't much to look at—mostly dry flatlands with occasional mounds and clusters of barely surviving oak trees, long cracks spidering across the land as if Scrat had had a heyday sticking his acorns in the ground.

Snake smirked and glanced at Joanna Dark, who was piloting the aircraft. "I didn't. But I did know Joanna as an old friend and fellow spy…and trusted her to do the right thing."

"You mean saving your butt?" Joanna steered them past a low range of rocky mountains, not a single form of life to be seen. It was no wonder everyone seemed to live as close to New Alexandria as possible. Not that they could see much from the gunship, anyway—only what its bright beams revealed, cutting through the darkness. "Wouldn't be the first time."

Snake's smirk faded as he watched his friend. Her red hair reminded him painfully of someone he'd once cared for…someone he could no longer bear to think about…someone he had yet to avenge….

Suddenly he felt a firm punch on his shoulder. He turned to find Samus staring at him as if he'd just been exiled from a far-off planet.

"You know, for a soldier, you're not very attentive."

"Sorry," he said, forcing himself to come back to reality.

"I said, what's the plan? It's great that we've been broken out and all, but I doubt it will take Master Chief long to figure out what happened and track us down. We're in _his_ territory now, remember."

"Not for long," Joanna said. "I'm taking us back to my place—the Carrington Institute—where they can outfit us to get off this godforsaken world. We're gonna get out of here and find your Nintendo friends so we can come back and beat the Chief and his goons like a bunch of green piñatas."

Falco pointed at a bright speck in the distance. "You mean… _that_ institute?"

As they drew closer, Joanna's face filled with horror. "No…they can't have…."

Situated just past the end of Reach's wasteland in a field of yellow Kansas-like grass, the Carrington Institute was a group of large yellow buildings with slanted roofs. Emphasis on _was_.

The entire compound was aflame, a raging conflagration that would soon spread into the grass if it wasn't controlled. And the fire's culprit was soon made apparent by the four Spartan gunships that had landed close by, just far enough to ensure their own safety while watching their handiwork.

Suddenly, the heroes' gunship swerved as it redirected itself toward the burning institute, its automatic turrets rising from their hatches along the hull and wings.

Snake put a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Joanna," he said gently, "there's nothing we can do. No one could have survived that blast, but there's a good chance some of your people were taken prisoner first. Look at that one." He directed her anxious gaze at one of the vessels, which upon closer examination looked just like the prison shuttle back in New Alexandria.

But Joanna maintained her new course, her eyes burning like coals. "All the more reason to go in; I have to get 'em out of there."

"I hate to say it, but Snake's right," Samus said. "Right now they think we're going about our business taking our prisoner to the Vigoor Empire for execution. Even if we could overpower them, giving ourselves away now would guarantee that Master Chief will be on our tail much sooner than we can afford."

Joanna's grip on the steering apparatus tightened, her teeth clenched. Finally, her jaw loosened and she relented, maneuvering the gunship away from the Carrington Institute.

"You're right. We'll come back for them."

They flew on in silence for a few seconds, the conflagration already shrinking behind them. Finally, Captain Falcon turned to Samus with concern etched on his face as he noticed that the female bounty hunter was still clad only in her electric blue jumpsuit.

"What about your armor?"

To his surprise, however, she smiled. "You think I can't take care of myself without my toys? Think again. It's inconvenient, I'll admit…but going back for it now would be even stupider than attacking those fiends who burned the Institute."

"The girl's got a point," Snake said, interjecting himself into the conversation for reasons Captain Falcon couldn't fathom…or didn't want to.

But the soldier's smugness was immediately erased when Samus leaned her head against her fellow bounty hunter's shoulder.

"I appreciate your concern, though."

Falcon didn't look over at Snake, but his expression was just subtly victorious enough to pinch the Sonian's nerves.

Meanwhile, Falco stared blankly out the window. "So if the Carrington Institute's out of the question, where else do we have left to run?"

"Well," Joanna said, "the closest RareWare haven would be in the Willow Woods…home of our late friend, Conker the Squirrel. But that place has been having…issues lately. So that means the only place we have left to go is the Enchanted Kingdom, the last region of the Microsian mainland that's been left more or less to its own, mostly because I think Master Chief doesn't want its resident hero, Kameo, feeling like she'd be better off leaving to some other world…like Nintendo, for instance."

"Coolio." Falco absentmindedly twirled his blaster, which had been returned to him by Joanna's friends on the prison shuttle before they'd left New Alexandria, along with Snake's various explosives. Only Samus's suit, it seemed, had proved impossible to find and secure. "Speaking of heroes…we've got our Smash Brothers in Nintendo, while Snake's got his All-Stars in Sony. Just out of curiosity, did you Microsians have a special name for your league of heroes before some of you went off the murderous, tyrannical deep end?"

"Yes." For once, Joanna seemed to be reminiscing about fond memories. "We were called the Microsian Sentinels. Kameo…Conker…Master Chief…Ryu Hayabusa…Marcus Fenix…Jack Wynand…Commander John Shepard…the Vault Hunters…Wolf's Dragoons…all of us swore to do whatever it took to protect our homes." She glanced at the rear-view screen, which now displayed the Institute as nothing more than a faint firefly speck in the night. "Some just seem to have taken that mantle way past what it was originally meant to be."

"Right." Falco didn't recognize half the names she'd just listed, but he got the impression that now wasn't the time to pry any further.

They soon reached the end of the plains and began flying over an immense forest dotted with lakes and rivers and snowcapped mountains. Falco felt that it would have been a strikingly beautiful sight had it not been the dead of night without even a sliver of moon to light their way—just the stark, artificial light of the gunship, which reflected bright greens and dark, shimmering water.

They passed across the Enchanted Kingdom through the night, most of them (both in the cockpit and the cargo bay) falling asleep at one point or another from the exhaustion of their ordeal in Reach. Finally, the sky gave an indigo preview of the coming sunrise, and the outline of a castle appeared on the horizon, looking like it came straight out of a fairy tale.

* * *

From the balcony of the castle, Kameo looked out with her keen green eyes, almost immediately spotting the incoming gunship. She frowned; this was certainly bad news, but news that she had to admit wasn't entirely unexpected. With the recent stirrings and skirmishes she'd heard Microsoft had been engaging in abroad, it had only been a matter of time before Master Chief came to exploit her powers just like he had in times of old. Just like he had when he'd killed her dear sister.

 _Well, I'll give you power, all right,_ she thought, pulling out the blue Wotnot Book, which featured the head of Ortho the white-bearded wizard on its cover. This book was the source of the Enchanted Kingdom's greatest strength. It was what allowed her as rightful heir to the throne to harness the tremendous magic of the Elements of Power. She opened it to a page where several of these transformative Elements were pictorially shown in the form of magical creatures.

 _I'll give you such power that in a few minutes, either you'll be dead, or I will…or we'll die together._

* * *

With Weldar defeated, Mumbo and Co. liberated, and Grunty Industries being pounded like a hammer against a brake drum, there was no reason for the heroes to remain inside the dismal edifice. So they didn't.

Mario, Luigi, Kirby, Dedede, and L.O.G. led the freed prisoners out into the toxic open air, but they faced an immediate problem: There was no way for all of them to cross the acidic purple moat.

L.O.G. caused a series of thick cords to shoot out from his cloak and latch themselves onto the opposite end of the mire, forming a rubbery bridge about a foot wide that led to Gadd and the others.

"Make haste, friends," he said, himself content to just float over the bubbling goop, having detached the cords at his end and secured them to their side with the sharpened plugs.

Mario and Luigi led Mumbo, Humba, Bottles, Jam-Jars, and the Timber's Island racers across the narrow bridge, quickly but carefully, until they'd joined their fellow Smash Brothers. Kirby, Dedede, and L.O.G. floated over shortly thereafter, and together they faced their latest airborne threat.

And they didn't like what they saw. Not one bit.

The same titanic Spartan frigate that had destroyed both K. Rool's airship and Dedede's Castle—or at least one that looked exactly like it—loomed a couple hundred feet above them, a steady stream of gunfire raining down upon Grunty Industries. Fortunately, the Nintendonians had retreated to the cover of the trees, so until now they'd watched Microsoft begin its handiwork unnoticed.

Until now.

The frigate did two things that they were powerless to stop. First, it deployed a formation of gunships that were quite obviously heading toward them. And second, it charged its Magnetic Accelerator Cannon and engulfed the abandoned factory, shattering its rusted walls like a crumpled aluminum leaf and reducing it to a crater that was soon filled with the purple muck, which rushed in as if eager to erase all memory of the building it had once guarded.

"Back to the swamp!" Bowser roared, and despite the assorted heroes' and armies' mixed feelings toward the onetime archenemy of the Mushroom Kingdom, they needed no further encouragement to flee back the way they came to the safety of Bubblegloop Swamp, the pale sky soon almost completely obscured by the thick, saturated greenery.

They ran as a body of some 500 Smash Brothers, which might have gone faster had their numbers been fewer, but by the time they heard the gunships blasting away at the edge of the forest, they were a safe distance from the resulting explosions that splintered a few damp trees but still left the swamp's dense foliage more or less intact.

Gadd breathed heavily as he paused for a moment amidst the chaos, hands on his knees. "We've got to get as far away as we can before that blasted frigate blows us and this entire swamp to pieces."

L.O.G. floated beside him, appearing equally urgent, yet somehow much calmer. "I agree, professor…though I doubt the Chief will fire the coil gun blindly into this marsh. I am almost certain he wants Nintendo's leaders alive, and besides, he still considers this island Microsian territory; he would not be quick to demolish his own land."

"Right." Gadd called out to his fellow Nintendonians. "Back to the Ark, then! We'll be safe there…but let us make haste!"

Almost immediately afterward, they all watched in alarm as small squadrons of Spartans dropped through the trees, accompanied by mixed numbers of Pandorans and Hayabusa ninjas. They were coming from every side, which meant the Smash Brothers wouldn't be getting out of here without a fight.

Breaking their moment of hesitation, Bowser roared and charged without further ado at the nearest cluster of Microsians. He swatted a Spartan who had just landed and clawed at the soldier's neck, ripping off his armor and leaving his flesh vulnerable.

Dedede and the Chestnut King, the two other heavy-hitters, lumbered off in other directions. The penguin blocked gunfire with his mallet's enormous head, then began chucking Gordos at his attackers and charging his Jet Hammer. The Wafflite monarch, meanwhile, plowed into the ambushers without even batting an eye at their weapons, his chestnut-brown body evidently so hard that bullets had a negligible effect on him. His broadsword, on the other hand, was not quite as ineffective against its targets.

Once the first contact was made, the swampy scene descended into chaos. Spear-wielding Toads and Spiny-flinging Lakitus and shell-diving Paratroopas contended with the assorted enemies. Beanish soldiers tossed Smoke Beans and used this innovative cover to rush against others. Wafflites lobbed syrup grenades and fired berry bullets from cinnamon stick tubes, splattering the caramel apple-colored marsh with red and purple and gold.

Yoshis dashed through the mud and headbutted and tossed eggs that shattered with considerable knockback. Delfinians mostly hung back at the center (for they were surrounded), the Piantas lobbing fruit, the Nokis hurling sharpened seashells, and the Cataquacks dipping their large bills under unprepared Microsians and flipping them into the rough, moss-covered tree trunks.

But in military expertise, the Nintendonians were far outmatched. The Hayabusa ninjas eluded the Smash Brothers' attacks with a high rate of success, getting the best of their quarry with their superior agility and strength, and using shuriken spikes and daggers to inflict lethal wounds. The cowboy-like Pandorans were not only crack shots with their rifles, but they were also ruggedly strong and adept at close combat, contending with the first wave of opponents with unrestrained enthusiasm, wild hollers, and mob-like shouts. And then there were the Spartans, who took down a Nintendonian with almost every shot and would not go down unless they were overtaken by a great many others.

Gadd drew a weapon he'd long hoped to never use again—but one whose use was made necessary by circumstance. The Magic Paintbrush—often mistakenly attributed to his own creation because of the mischief of Bowser Jr., but in reality the handiwork of Gadd's dastardly cousin—glittered as its wielder painted Polluted Piranhas and flicked balls of multicolored paint at the encroaching Microsian forces. L.O.G. fought beside him, lashing out with his cords left and right, shocking and tripping and paralyzing with green flashes of his screen, advancing like a floating electric cephalopod.

Kirby ducked and rolled past Mario and Luigi as they danced around a pair of Spartans. He sidestepped around Mumbo and Humba, who were peppering a cluster of Pandorans with pink sparks of magic. He swiped with his cutter blade where he could but otherwise felt relatively useless. After a while, he noticed something curious: The battle was no longer just between Nintendo and Microsoft; a third party had entered the fray. The Klaptrap-like crocodiles had risen from the miry waters and were snapping and clamping primarily at the legs and arms of the Microsian armies, although some of them didn't seem to care much who they bit as long as they bit someone.

The red crocodile leader—known locally as Mr. Vile—came at Kirby from the side, but the puffball saw an opportunity and took it: He inhaled the croc and swallowed it whole, regurgitating it alive but retaining his newfound power.

Croc Kirby was at the same time cute and horrific. He retained his pink color, but had a small scaly tail sticking out from behind, stubby reptilian claws, and a damp Klaptrap snout where his mouth had been.

He slunk into the mud and leapt at choice locations, dragging a Pandoran into the goop with his teeth here, slashing the gun out of a Spartan's hands there. He quite enjoyed this new form and had just been getting used to his new sense of balance provided by the tail when he found himself face to face with a Hayabusa ninja—only, this one appeared different from the rest.

It wasn't that Ryu Hayabusa actually _looked_ much different from his fellow ninjas. His only distinguishing physical features were his trademark black scarf and the curved Dragon Sword in his hand. But somehow the steel in his eyes gave Croc Kirby the impression that this would not be as easy a victim as those before.

The ninja looked down at him and surprisingly did not do so with any sign of ridicule or condescension. On the contrary, he drew back his sword by bending his elbow behind his shoulder and gesturing with his other hand, as one would toward a worthy opponent. His voice was not as Oriental as one might think, but still carried the deep impetus of a classically trained master.

"Kirby of Dreamland…I have heard stories of your bravery. Let us see if they are true."

Kirby just growled, which was the only sort of reply he could manage in his current condition.

Crocodile maw and flashing blade lunged toward each other and met.

* * *

Spiral Mountain exploded into activity like an anthill disrupted by tiny fireworks. As the Spartans began to open fire and the not-so-friendly Jinjos (they were in fact Grunty's evil synthetic version of Jinjos called Minjos) converged from the air and Gruntilda cackled from her broomstick above, the grassy landscape around the mountain erupted in golden sparkles. This ushered in the entrance of Grunty's army of minions known as Gruntlings, which were essentially hairless, vomit-colored apes with goofily jutting jaws and blue, red, or gray cloaks that ended in sinister points above their heads.

Mewtwo teleported 20 feet above them, taking in the situation during the very small amount of time they had.

 _"We will take the Spartans; they fear our Pokémon after we chased them from Dreamland."_

Gotoh nodded and turned to his mages, glancing at Zelda as well. "We will do all we can with our magic to stop those colorful creatures."

Link's attention was held by the approaching Gruntlings. "Then we'll handle the rest."

Without any more time for discussion, the Smash Brothers followed their leaders into battle.

Donkey Kong was the first to make contact with the Gruntlings, swiping an entire row of them to the side with his arm. He was flanked by Pit, Link, Marth, and Nyna, who each wielded swords (Pit converting his Sacred Bow into two short blades) and met the creatures without a flicker of fear.

The deadly rainbow of Minjos closed in on them, but Gotoh directed his mages in sending a wave of fiery magic to intercept them, aided by a powerful blast of Din's Fire from Zelda. The resulting explosion seemed fairly definitive.

But once the smoke from the blast cleared, the only thing that was definitive was the fact that their efforts had had absolutely no effect on the Minjos whatsoever.

They tore into the Nintendonian ranks like superpowered jellybeans, knocking down everyone and everything in their path with their auras of sparkling multicolored energy, meeting about as much resistance as the Rohirrim against the Uruk-hai.

Meanwhile, Gary and Mewtwo worked their way around the commotion toward the Spartans dotted along the mountain, the former by land on his Arcanine, the latter by air. Mewtwo and his company of flying Pokémon let loose upon their targets with a conflux of elemental attacks, dodging lasers and bullets all the while.

The grounded Pokémon followed Gary through the throng of Gruntlings as best they could, though many were hindered by the bulky creatures on their way to the Spartans around Spiral Mountain. They pushed past sword-swinging soldiers, rock-fisted Gorons, and trident-wielding Zoras and focused on taking the enhanced humans by storm—which seemed to work. Though the Spartans did not retreat when confronted by the Pokémon, it was clear to see that they were much less confident about combating these creatures than the rest of the Smash Brothers. And rightly so, based on the onslaught of diverse Pokémon attacks falling upon them.

With the battle in full force below, Mewtwo Teleported past most of the Spartans arrayed along the mountain's spirals, all the way up until he was face to face with the infamous witch herself.

 _"You and your Microsian accomplices will pay for enslaving the people of this island."_ The Psychic cat began generating a writhing purple Shadow Ball in his paws.

Gruntilda cackled.

"The feisty feline thinks that he

Can best a witch the likes of me;

Your pocket monsters the Spartans may fear,

But you will find no trembling here!"

She began generating a crackling ball of green magic of her own, and as one, the two energy spheres shot toward each other, meeting in a burst of bright light at the center.

* * *

Wario retracted his finger from scratching his rear and stared blankly out the window of the Ark's command bridge with Treasure Trove Cove arrayed below. In the excessively cushioned seat beside him, Waluigi snored like a congested Bengal tiger.

 _This boring island cruise'd better be worth it,_ he thought. _We spent weeks outfitting my Ark with all kinds of toys, but so far all we've done is some dull sightseeing and chasing after dead elephants._

He reached the point where he was seriously considering using the Ark's weaponry to blast some of the Yum-Yums hopping along the shore—just to create some excitement—when something else exciting happened that made such a course of action quite unnecessary.

But it wasn't anything on the beach that was exciting. It was the ocean surrounding the Ark on three sides. Mainly the fact that it was bubbling.

"Eh?" He leaned forward and immediately regretted having lounged in the same position for hours as his stiff back complained painfully. He tapped some buttons that caused several screens to zoom in on the bubbling regions that formed an arc around the Ark. A mildly amusing pun that he had no time to appreciate.

He turned to Waluigi and slapped him in the face, causing the lanky man to spring up with a cry and shake himself awake, glaring at his brother angrily.

"What's the big idea?"

Wario pointed at the screens, which were now displaying at least a dozen round submarine-like pods that glowed ominously up at the Ark. The Bathyspheres' hatches opened to allow their resident Big Daddies to emerge and begin drilling their way into the hull of the ship, while the subs themselves launched torpedoes that shot out of the water and collided with the transparent shields of the beached airship. Neither the drills nor the missiles could penetrate the barrier at the moment, but the bombardment was quickly draining the Ark's shields, which had already dropped to 90% after just a few seconds.

"Oh, no!" Waluigi's eyes were filled with drowsy panic.

But Wario just grinned, bearing down upon another control panel with his fingers. "It's a-time to come out and a-play."

Wario's smile was contagious, spreading itself across Waluigi's face. "Aw, yeah!"

From outside, a series of panels opened, revealing an impressive array of cannons that moved into position even as scores of zombie-like Splicers crawled onto shore and began banging their fists and stabbing and hacking at the shields, their eyes glowing a manic yellow from the energizing power of the chemical ADAM.

The cannons opened fire, blasting away several Splicers at once and even crushing the helmets of a couple Big Daddies, although for the most part the latter seemed impervious to all but the most perfectly aimed hits, being toppled by the cannonballs only to get right back up and resume their grim work.

Two more panels opened and began launching an occasional projectile that looked like a harmless water balloon. But upon contact with the ground, it burst into a small mushroom cloud of incapacitating flatulence, the concentrated gas condensed into these tiny pods for just such an occasion as this. The result was quick, brutal suffocation of clusters of Splicers at a time, their mutated hands clutching desperately at their throats, the foul airborne weapon surging into their lungs and choking them like the grip of a giant. A really, really, excessively putrid giant.

Wario laughed as he watched the would-be invaders struggle against his security. But his laugh was short-lived when the Ark's emergency siren began blaring, red lights flashing throughout the command bridge. He received a transmission from Dr. Clash down in the security and monitoring room. The rather pudgy man's hologram appeared on one of the control panels, decked out as always in his yellow jumpsuit that accentuated his protruding belly, although Wario's belly wasn't much impressed by it.

"What?" Wario barked.

"Mr. Wario, I'm afraid we have a security breach," the inventor said, sounding rather frantic.

"Impossible! Our shields are still at a-75%."

"Not from the outside; from within."

"Wha?"

Dr. Clash transferred the security feed of a cell block, the camera doing a splendid job of displaying the cell's utter emptiness, the steel door wide open. The two Seran prisoners—Marcus Fenix and Dominic Santiago—had somehow, inconceivably, escaped.

"I'm sending our friends from Mute City and Elvin's R.O.B.s to search for them, but in the meantime, you should probably keep on your toes in case they try to take the bridge."

Wario gulped. He couldn't even see his toes, let alone touch them. "That's a big a-problem."

"Yeah…" Waluigi stared with paranoia at the door to the command center, his fingers twitching beside the Bob-omb detonators in his trouser pockets. Whatever financial damage those Serans might do to the interior of their Ark, he was far more concerned about the potential damage to his life.


	16. Chapter 12: Grunty's Revenge (2)

An unexpected natural phenomenon had pushed all involved in the marsh battle deeper into Bubblegloop Swamp and nearly back to Jolly Roger's Lagoon. In fact, by the time the unexpected flood of thick mud ceased its advance, the homely port town could be seen through the edge of the trees.

But the fight continued. While they avoided being engulfed by the veritable tidal wave of mud (like the first unfortunate few had already been), the ninjas and Spartans and Pandorans and Smash Brothers fought on the run, dodging past trees and over roots and around particularly deep parts of the swamp.

 _This doesn't make any sense,_ Professor E. Gadd couldn't help thinking as he huffed and puffed alongside L.O.G., who was levitating rather effortlessly over the mud. _Swamps don't just do things like this…"_ But the wall of fluid mud loomed behind him as if in defiance of his understanding of nature.

Croc Kirby stroked through the mire with reptilian expertise, popping out every couple seconds to exchange blows with Ryu, who was leaping from tree to tree to keep ahead of the flood. Tooth and blade, tail and fist, they clashed over and over again—until suddenly there were no trees, no swampland left.

They came out into the bright light of the bay, skidding to a halt at the edge of a cliff that dropped down to the ocean below, the ledge leading over to the town itself where the cliff became more of a gentle slope, although here it was a sheer precipice down which the assorted Smash Brothers and Microsians very nearly fell.

In fact, Croc Kirby's opponent did just that. Ryu jump-kicked toward the puffball, but found his foot clamped in the reptilian jaws. With one swift motion, he was flung over the edge of the cliff. He closed his eyes to accept his fate; it would surely be a fatal fall.

Ryu found himself suspended against the cliff face, upside-down, and was beginning to wonder whether he was already dead when he saw the scaly maw holding onto his ankle. He was so shocked that he barely even noticed the pain.

Croc Kirby flung the ninja over his head once more, only this time back onto the cliff, where he waited for Ryu to climb unsteadily back to his feet. Even through the mask, the Microsian's expression looked puzzled, his eyebrow raised.

A shadow eclipsed the sun, a large vessel coming steadily toward the settlement like a UFO. Only, this UFO more closely resembled a futuristic American space shuttle, having the rough shape of a giant elongated Arwing with white plating and black wings and tail. It hovered down until it was directly over the bay, quite close to both the cliff and the town.

"Gadzooks!" The professor could not help but stare at the most recent development behind the lines of Smash Brothers holding off the Microsians, which as a whole were more or less evenly matched. "What on earth is that?"

L.O.G. paused after stunning a circle of ninjas and Pandorans and took in the spacecraft. "If I am not mistaken—which my hard drive never is except in one time out of two hundred thousand—this is the Edenese _SSV Normandy SR-1_ , the crown jewel of the elite Spectre task force of the Systems Alliance of Eden Prime."

"Say what?" Bowser growled as he crashed his way through enemy lines toward them. King Dedede and the Chestnut King followed close behind, interested to know what exactly was going on.

L.O.G. lashed out with a cord, shocking a Spartan coming up from behind without even looking. His Pong bar eyes blinked. "These are some of Microsoft's most powerful forces. I calculate if we continue on our present course, our armies will fall within twenty minutes. If we do not surrender, we will all die."

Gadd stood stock still, considering their options. He sighed. If L.O.G. said they were outmatched, then to try and beat both their current opponents and this new threat would result in the wasted death of countless Nintendonian lives. They had no choice. He cleared his throat.

"Very well…Kings Bowser, Chestnut, and Dedede, call off your troops. We must not let our pride rob our troops of their lives."

"But…" Bowser swallowed his angry retort, taking in the _Normandy_ and grudgingly admitting that they had no idea what it was capable of. Except for L.O.G., who had already proven that the Koopa's distrust of him had been misplaced on multiple occasions. "Fine." He raised his voice to a roar. "Lay down your arms, Smash Brothers!"

As it turned out, Dedede and the Chestnut King didn't need to do anything to quell their own armies; all within range of Bowser's voice (which was everybody) paused at his words and reluctantly dropped their weapons, raising their arms. This included Mario, Luigi, and Kirby, who discarded his Croc ability in front of Ryu and raised his arm stubs with an expression of someone who had just lost a low-stakes game of cards. To his surprise, however, Ryu did not strike him down, but inclined his head with a sort of boundary-crossing respect.

Fortunately, the Microsians appeared to have enough self control to not continue attacking the Smash Brothers after the ceasefire (although some of the Pandorans looked rather twitchy), particularly after seeing the Edenese reinforcements that would make any further discipline unnecessary.

Mario and Luigi glanced at each other with trepidation as they raised their arms and watched as the spaceship prepared to land. It didn't seem fair; after how far they had come, they had been ousted by another display of Microsoft's ineffable technology. Had there really ever been any chance for them to defeat such an advanced enemy? Had their voyage from the Nintendo World all been for nothing?

And then they saw it. A hazy line of colorful figures rushing over the sea toward the lagoon, spread out like a haphazard flock of rainbow geese—pixelated geese, that is.

It was the Atarians, with Rocketman and Pacman at the head, the former hovering up and down with his trademark jetpack, the latter staying aloft by assuming his two-dimensional pie graph form. Close behind them, Bomberman's ship sped along, a white jet with red edges.

Behind and beside them were arrayed all the rest of the island's natives: the Pacman ghosts; the Centipedes; the Defenders; the Slot Racers; the Galaga aliens; and even the Sub Hunters, which seemed to be ignoring any sense of physical propriety, floating through the air with the rest rather than underwater where submarines generally belong.

They converged on the Edenese vessel and the Microsians, a magnificent kaleidoscopic fleet which brought great relief to the Smash Brothers and great concern to their adversaries.

Even with some distance still between them, the Slot Racers and Defenders began firing laser segments, the Sub Hunters their torpedoes, and the Centipedes, Galaga, and ghosts rushed forward to fulfill their purpose. Rocketman fired his own thin pink-and-white laser, and Bomberman's ship opened a hatch underneath and started dropping a generous supply of bombs of various sizes.

"About that surrender thing…" Bowser retreated into his spiked shell and spun in a Whirling Fortress, casting away the nearest enemies around him.

The other Smash Brothers followed suit, the battle resuming once more, the Edenese ship and Spartan gunships rising to confront the Atarians.

This wasn't over yet.

* * *

Back on the Ark, however, things weren't going quite so well. True, the Rapturians were being effectively held back by the Ark's defense system, but there were still two Serans on the loose inside, and the next arrivals did not help the situation.

Two barges filled with Seran soldiers appeared from around the corner past Treasure Trove Cove, and not only did they wield chainsaw-supplemented Lancer Assault Rifles and some even larger shoulder-borne rocket launchers, but it was almost certain that there would be a battleship on its way not far behind.

Thus, while the others hunted down the escapees, Wario and Waluigi got to work prepping the Ark for takeoff, though considering how big it was, it would take several minutes at the least before they could get off the ground. They sweated and huffed as they rushed to and fro, powering on computer systems and beginning the warming-up process for the many engines and calibrating the controls.

Meanwhile, Jody Summer and a couple dozen of her fellow pilots and citizens from Mute City had paired off and spread out across the enormous interior, searching every hall, room, closet, and ventilation shaft for the dangerous rogues. R.O.B.s joined them in the hunt, illuminating even the darkest corners with their LED eye bulbs.

Jody and a fish-faced pilot dashed around corners and kicked down doors, pistols raised, their hands gripping their weapons tensely. She checked dozens of staterooms. She checked the cafeteria and several lounges and a storage room filled with frozen cheeseburgers and the Olympic-sized swimming pool. But there was nothing. The Ark was as desolate as a ghost town with everyone else off fighting to free the Isle o' Hags.

"This way," gurgled the fish-faced pilot in a warbling alien language, pulling open the door to another large room. They slipped inside and switched on the lights.

The gymnasium was at least as spacious as the pool, with workout machines of every kind assembled throughout the chamber, rows of weights and dumbbells, treadmills and ellipticals and bench presses and every other kind of exercise device imaginable. They stepped cautiously onto the hardwood floor, and then froze as two shadows slunk between machines on the other side.

Jody gripped her handgun with both hands and inclined her head, indicating for her companion to go the other way. They parted and began sweeping the gym from one end to the other, ready to shoot at the first sign of movement.

It was far too quiet, too much silence to tread without making a sound, but she did the best she could. She crept past a bicep curling machine, and then pointed her gun at a shadow that flitted between a rack of weights and a stack of exercise balls. She was about to rush whoever it was when she heard a cry from the other side of the room.

She rushed toward the sound to find the horrible sight of her friend mangled on the ground, possibly unconscious but more likely dead, crushed by the 100-pound dumbbell still gripped in Marcus Fenix's hand. He grinned at her savagely, stepped over the racer's body, and began making his way toward her, his huge arm muscles bulging with the evidence of a COG soldier's grueling training.

She fired her pistol, but he blocked it with the iron weight with a monstrous lack of effort. She glanced about her and grabbed two smaller 30-pound weights, hurling one high above the Seran's head. He swiped his dumbbell over his head, knocking the heavy projectile aside like a rather dense housefly.

But that was exactly what Jody wanted him to do. While he was attending to that weight, she threw her other one directly at his chest, smacking him in the gut.

He didn't collapse, but he did drop his dumbbell in surprise and found his face the recipient of the pilot's fist. She landed several more punches and kicks to the chest and tackled the winded soldier to the ground.

All seemed well until she suddenly found herself grabbed from behind, a thick arm choking her neck in a strong vise. Dominic pulled her backward as his partner in crime stood back up with an expression of manic vexation. Without looking, Fenix ripped a pullup bar off the wall and snapped it in two, pointing the sharp metal end of one piece at Summer's heart.

"We've played second best to you Nintendonians long enough," he growled, pulling back his arm in preparation for his imminent, fatal thrust. "After this, you and your murderous friends'll never be a threat to us ever again!"

He made to impale Jody Summer on the splintered bar, but before he could do so, a buzzing sound coincided with the pullup bar suddenly pulling him away, directly into the rack of weights. His head banged against one of them with an almost comical clang and he collapsed, motionless. Most likely not dead, but most definitely unconscious.

"What in the—"

Before Dominic could react, a bright red beam sped into him, pushing the bearded man straight into a bench press with similar results.

All of a sudden finding herself saved from the Serans, Summer glanced behind her to find a R.O.B., its eye sockets still smoking from its recent laser blast. She then turned to the rack of weights where Fenix lay, confused about how an inanimate object such as a broken pullup bar could abruptly rebel against its wielder and jerk him away. Then the answer peeked out from behind a 50-pound disk weight, wielding a large red horseshoe magnet.

"Pipsy," Summer breathed. "Thank the stars. I'd be done for if you and your R.O.B. friend hadn't shown up."

The tiny yellow mouse hopped in adorable delight.

"You're very welcome!"

* * *

Even with the Serans on the inside taken care of, the Ark's prospects on the outside could use improvement, with the shield down to 50% and drills, Splicers, Lancers, and rocket launchers pummeling steadily into the hull. And to make matters even worse, the Seran battleship had rounded the corner and was headed toward them, no doubt preparing weapons much bigger than those they'd seen thus far. It was time to take off.

Dr. Clash, who had joined the Wario Brothers up on the bridge to assist with the departure, furrowed his brow as he watched the chaos below.

"You're not thinking of abandoning the Smash Brothers now, are you?"

Wario shook his head. "Nah. As much as I'd a-like to retire to a beach and a-sip martinis, I'm not gonna feel a-safe until these Microsian butt-a-heads are out of our hair for a-good."

With that, the engines slowly propelled the Ark off the ground, and though the extra time cost them another 10% of shield life, they were soon out of reach of the Serans and Rapturians below.

"Oh," Wario said. "And one more a-thing…" He nodded at Waluigi, who cackled and pressed his palm on a big black button.

An enormous opening appeared in the hull, making way for a blue World War I-style cannon the size of an obese elephant. It directed itself at the battleship, and… _boom_.

The titanic pink Bob-omb tumbled across the water and landed squarely on the deck of the Seran vessel. The occupants did not trust its sparking fuse at all, and many of them wisely dove overboard just before it exploded and rent the ship in two. It slowly began to sink and the surviving men shouted as they clambered for driftwood and began swimming toward the shore.

"Hasta la vista," Wario said as he directed the Ark inland, leaving the thwarted Microsians on the now-craterous beach.

* * *

Mewtwo and Gruntilda crashed against each other from within their respective magenta and silvery green force fields, bouncing again and again like angry, self-willed marbles. The Pokémon's Mirror Coat was incredibly strong, but still he found the witch's magic at least as powerful, and none of his other attacks—be they energy-based or telekinetic—seemed to fare any better against her.

He might have held out for quite a bit longer had the Minjos not ambushed him from behind, mindlessly sacrificing themselves to shatter his translucent shield and leave him vulnerable and exhausted.

Gruntilda swerved back around on her broom and cackled.

"The psycho cat fought to his last breath,

But now he shall taste the sting of death!"

She raised her arms and ejected a burst of sparkling lime green energy.

As seemed to be occurring increasingly often these days, the villain's finishing blow was intercepted by an almost _deus ex machina_ arrival. A huge creature composed of rotating, studded steel boulders linked together like a metal basilisk passed between the two magic wielders, Grunty's magic bouncing off harmlessly into the sky. Even she was taken aback by the Pokémon that curved back around to face them.

Atop the menacing Steelix sat Quentin, Red, Nana, Dixie Kong, Megaman, and Mr. Game & Watch, the beast clearly having been summoned by the Omni Ball. They all appeared at least somewhat flustered from their long flight, yet ready and determined to fight for the Smash Brothers.

"You four go help our friends on the ground," Quentin shouted to Game & Watch, Megaman, Dixie, and Nana. They nodded and, with only a brief moment of hesitation, cast themselves off the Steelix into a freefall. Dixie slowed her descent with her propeller-like ponytails, while Megaman held onto his blueberry-shaped bird friend, Beat, and G.W. floated down with his parachute with Nana clinging onto him.

Red's father turned to behold the colossal Spartan frigate, which had been making its way from Grunty Industries and was now nearly upon Spiral Mountain, its ominous shadow darkening the normally tranquil environment.

"We shall deal with their metal monster."

He looked at his son, who then realized that "we" didn't include him. Red reluctantly assented and tossed a Pokéball. A sleek-plumed bird with fire-colored head feathers appeared, offering its talons to its master. Red grabbed onto Pidgeot's legs and directed the Pokémon in a roundabout route toward the ground where they would be relatively safe from errant lasers and bullets and magic.

Steelix screeched like the grinding of a power saw against an iron plate, then made off toward the frigate, wasting no time in whacking the vessel with a mighty Iron Tail that nearly caused it to do an involuntary barrel roll. The frigate was now too occupied to wreak havoc on the Smash Brothers below.

Grunty and Mewtwo had been engrossed by Steelix's performance and finally returned to reality. The witch grinned back at him.

"More friends may have come to save the day,

But who'll protect you from my deadly ray?"

"That'd be us."

Banjo & Kazooie flew down to her level, the bird of course flapping her scarlet wings from within the bear's backpack. They were fixed on their nemesis with a defiance that transcended time and space. Banjo noticed Mewtwo's condition.

"You go take it easy, fella; this is our fight."

Mewtwo blinked. He wished he had more energy to expend, but the truth was the truth: He barely had the strength left to keep himself in the air.

 _"Are you certain?"_

Kazooie chittered. "Yeah, we got this, pussycat. Now scram!"

Mewtwo nodded to them gratefully and Teleported away.

"Now," Banjo said, facing Grunty once more. "Here's what I don't get…how're you still alive, with a body an' everything?"

"Yeah, last time I saw you we were playing soccer with your skull," Kazooie chimed in with not a little derision.

Grunty glared at them, gripping the handle of her broom tightly.

"Lucky you've been I will admit;

Yes, a few times I've taken quite a hit.

But this time is different, for you see

I have powers supreme granted to me."

"Powers?" Banjo couldn't help asking. Neither he nor Kazooie could take the witch seriously after kicking her butt three solid times. "You mean like that magic book Cheato who helped us beat you the first time because you ripped all his pages out?"

"Or that mechanical body we trashed the second time?" Kazooie added.

"Or that HAG 1 machine we blew up the third time?" Banjo finished.

In spite of her presumed superiority, Grunty's temper was clearly rising, her ugly green skin sweating, her clammy hands pale green from tension, even the animated head of her broomstick at the front leering at the heroes with open contempt—and also a bit of asphyxiation from the witch's grip.

"Shut your beak and mouth you shall

When I commit murder most foul

Using the endowment given me

By the Great Moon Deity!"

"Who's this 'Great Moon Deity' person, anyways?" Kazooie pretended to suppress a yawn. "I think the Master Chief mentioned him back at Candy Chateau. Is he some sort of rock you pray to or the emperor of Microsoft or what?"

Grunty grinned crookedly.

"You mean you haven't even conversed

With the mightiest being in This Universe?

Well, since you have come a long way to die,

This I will tell you before you fry.

For years after the Copyright Wars

Microsoft suffered more and more.

You see, without their island lands,

Decline of wealth was out of their hands.

And that was only one of many

Ails that plagued them like a nanny—

Until, that is, their savior came

From outer space to win their game.

The Great Moon Deity, it is believed,

Of one of our worlds was conceived;

Yet all else is kept a mystery

Of how or why He came to be.

All that bear and bird need know

Is from Him my new powers flow

And once your bodies are ashes all,

Your precious Smash Brothers will fall!"

"Just a question," Kazooie said. "Are you even remotely capable of talking without rhyming?"

"Yes," Grunty said, a bit taken aback by the question.

Banjo and Kazooie looked at each other, stunned by the sudden break in meter and rhyme scheme.

"…I guess," she finished. Banjo face-palmed.

"Well, I think it's time we showed you what we think of your poetry." Kazooie wasted no more time in spitting a series of Grenade Eggs at the witch. But they all exploded upon impact with her force field without so much as blowing her wispy black hair. She cackled.

"Critics may be everyone,

But in critical condition you'll be when I'm done!"

"That last couplet was a bit forced," Kazooie said.

Grunty began casting shroud after shroud of emerald energy. The duo just managed to roll and dive out of the way, barely avoiding the deadly bursts.

They circled each other rapidly, exchanging eggs and magic like two juggernauts in a naval battle. Kazooie tried everything at her disposal: normal eggs, Fire Eggs, Ice Eggs, Grenade Eggs, even Proximity Eggs and Clockwork Eggs, all of which met an unfortunate and ineffectual end against Grunty's shield.

They looped backward to reorient themselves, already out of breath.

"We've gotta do somethin' about that shield, Kazooie," Banjo said. "How'd we get past it the first time, anyway?"

"The Jinjos," Kazooie said. "But I've got another idea."

She drew from within her foliage a set of Gold Feathers, which the pair saved only for the most desperate of circumstances. This certainly qualified as such, so she activated the feathers, causing both heroes to radiate golden sparkles like some kind of furry fairy, glowing white on and off. They were now temporarily invulnerable, comparable to the effect of Superstars in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Grunty, intent only on enjoying her revenge, cast a particularly large shroud of magic in their direction. Kazooie smirked and pointed her beak at the witch, building momentum.

"It's good to be back."

The missile-like Beak Bomb rocketed the powered-up heroes into Gruntilda Winkybunion with incredible speed. This time, their effort was not in vain, penetrating the shield and colliding with a satisfying crack. She rocketed back through the air, almost losing control of her broom but eventually restabilizing, this time with even greater fury in her eyes.

She didn't even threaten them with words this time. Instead, she raised her arms above her head, generating a sphere of white energy about the size of a small department store. She shrieked and cast it forward, causing it to burst into thousands of individual bolts, whose whirling currents seemed almost sentiently intent on destroying Banjo & Kazooie.

The invincibility of their Gold Feathers expended, they made like a pair of dirty underpants and took off, bolting away from the massive cloud of light.

"Whoa!" Banjo bellowed as one of the swiftest bolts shot into them, shocking them and sending them tumbling groundward, Kazooie's singed feathers smoking. The flock of white bolts curved down and followed them, and for a moment it was unclear whether they would die from the bolts or from crashing onto the ground….

 _"Eeko-boko-eeko-boko mo-me-ni-mu! Mo-me-ni-mu! Eeko_ _-boko-eeko-boko-eeko-boko eek-yo o!"_

A brilliant emerald light shone from the direction of Spiral Mountain's peak, following the falling figures and quickly catching up. It absorbed Grunty's attack like water droplets and caught the bear and bird just a few feet from the ground, causing them to rise back up like ghosts with shimmering green outlines around their bodies. They reached the top once more to behold the source of their salvation.

Mumbo Jumbo stood in the middle of the suspended bridge that led from the peak into the stony, gaping mouth of the giant witch head that marked the entrance to Gruntilda's Lair. He was holding a clay jar over his head, channeling pink energy into the head itself, whose eyes had generated the emerald light that had preserved the heroes' lives.

Banjo & Kazooie landed on the mountain a short distance from the shaman, rattled but relieved, taking advantage of Grunty's temporary fatigue and shock to converse with their friend.

"Thanks a bunch, Mumbo," Banjo said. "We owe you one!"

The skull-faced man continued concentrating on his magic, but he managed to open his eyes just a bit and give a small skeletal grin.

"Bear and bird always need help of true shaman master. Mumbo and Humba fighting baddies in swamp, but receive magic premonition that you would need Mumbo's help."

Banjo let out a breath of bottled exasperation. "How can we ever repay you?"

By then, however, Grunty had recovered from her energy expenditure and was preparing another glowing orb just like the last, every ounce of hate channeling into the sphere.

"Heroes can take Mumbo out to dinner later," Mumbo said. "For now, witch's butt still need kicking!"

"Right," Kazooie said. Banjo pushed off the ground and they were airborne once more. She made to execute another Beak Bomb, but Grunty had already released her second massive ball of magic.

This time, they saw exactly what Mumbo was up to. He'd performed a spell known only to him as _Cranius Invigorus,_ summoning the giant witch head to life. Its emerald eyes drained away Grunty's white bolts even faster than last time, and this time, its mouth opened even wider and became an Andross-esque vacuum, focused solely on its live counterpart.

The hag screeched as she was sucked toward the stony mouth. The broomstick pushed against the suction, but the force was too strong, and in a matter of seconds, Grunty disappeared inside the mouth, broom and all.

The head appeared to rotate its jaw in a rough chewing motion, creating a sound like a grindstone crushing rocks into powder. And for a time, it seemed as if that was the end.

 _"Bu-gi-deh."_ Mumbo terminated his spell, satisfied that the animated head's purpose had been fulfilled, Banjo  & Kazooie standing beside him.

But before the lights left the sculpture's huge emerald eyes, the jewels gradually began to glow white, and then red. The entire head became porous with shafts of ruby light breaking through the cracks, and a moment later, it exploded.

It took all the energy of the three heroes to avoid the shattered fragments, Mumbo casting them aside magically with his wand, bear and bird expending their last Gold Feather to cause the blocks to break harmlessly against them. They heard Grunty's loud, irritating, glass-breaking cackle echo as she arose from the dust cloud, surrounded by an aura of intense green energy, her newly bestowed power evident. She noticed her quarry on the bridge and mountaintop, unharmed, and narrowed her eyes at the one who had interrupted her victory at the last moment.

"Trouble me more you shall not—

But let your bones in pieces rot!"

Mumbo's eyes widened as the green magic around Grunty congealed into the shape of a skull a hundred times the size of his own and much more malicious in appearance, reminiscent of the expression of his evil robotic clone, Mingy Jongo. It surged toward him with such speed that he had time only to raise his skull-tipped rod in defiance and mutter one word.

"Humba…"

The magic enshrouded him and exploded with the terrible magnificence of a monstrous firework, blowing the bridge to bits and blasting Banjo & Kazooie back with infernal force. Kazooie's feathers and Banjo's fur were seriously singed, and they were left barely aloft with Kazooie's irregular, injured wing beats all that prevented them from tumbling to their deaths—though judging from the deathly green skull's slow redirection toward them, such would soon be their fate, with no trace of Mumbo to be seen.

"What…do…we do…now?" Kazooie spluttered as she struggled to keep them in the air, unable to do so with any semblance of steadiness since it was clear that one of her wings was more severely burnt than the other.

"I…don't know…" Banjo was at a loss, unable to process what had just happened. Mumbo…could he really be gone? They'd faced Gruntilda together time and time again, and though the witch had always presented a formidable threat, they'd always found a way to triumph in the end. Could this be it, after all they'd been through? Surely there was something they'd overlooked that could save them now, something to equal Grunty, whose supernatural power was more super than ever with the upgrade provided by the Great Moon Deity.

That something came in the form of a floating monk with a jigsaw piece for a head. Behind a small formation of the five remaining Jinjos who had survived the war against Nightmare, Master Jiggywiggy soared with a golden brilliance toward the green skull that was even now seconds away from obliterating Banjo & Kazooie. Surrounding him and the Jinjos was a veritable flock of shining Jiggies, the power segments that Banjo & Kazooie had collected during their various adventures to gain access to other areas and reach the depths of Grunty's labyrinths. And now they sped like superpowered slices of Swiss cheese and consumed the green skull, rendering its effects inutile.

Jiggywiggy floated over to Banjo & Kazooie with the Jinjos, an understandably urgent air about him. His voice was deep and otherworldly.

"You have honored the power of the Jiggies for a long time; now let their power allow you to rid This World of Gruntilda's witchcraft forever."

Suddenly, the hundreds of golden pieces zoomed straight into the two bodies, enhancing the strength of their Gold Feather ten times over. At first Banjo felt like an electrified, disembodied puppet; then like a swimmer being set against by tidal waves from every direction at once; and then like a demigod anticipating the opportunity to toss his first lightning bolt.

They rose to Grunty's level, facing her one more time.

"You've gone too far this time, wart face," Kazooie called, her eyes alight with an anger exceeding any her partner had ever witnessed from her.

Grunty just maintained her wicked grin.

"Your puzzle powers are no match

For Grunty's depthless energy cache.

Goodbye, my dears;

The end draws near!"

As Kazooie launched herself and Banjo forward with the golden glow of the Jiggies radiating from both of them, Grunty executed a similar charge, except her body was outlined in sparkling emerald green. And thus, the two forces charged each other, neither side with even the slightest hint of slowing or stopping or altering course.

And it was this, of course, that resulting in the greatest explosion of all, taking a large chunk out of the mountain peak and causing even more flying debris to rain down upon the assorted Smash Brothers and Microsians below. Most of them saw the falling objects coming, but some were unobservant or unfortunate and were crushed under the weight of the rocks, much like Grunty had once been herself.

They watched as the smoke cleared, and at first it seemed there was nothing left, both hero and villain destroyed. But then, a solitary figure clambered up to the top of the craterous peak of Spiral Mountain, yet another skull raised in his paw.

It was Grunty's. This time with no eyeballs, no flapping jaw, just an empty skull. The witch was dead.

* * *

The defeat of their leader precipitated the Microsians' retreat. The remaining Spartan gunships picked up as many troops as they could and fled to the relative safety of their frigate, leaving all the outnumbered Gruntlings and drained Minjos to their fate. The frigate just managed to escape Steelix's heavy charges and took off into the southern distance back toward its homeland.

The _Normandy_ , meanwhile, found itself under too heavy an assault to deploy its powerful occupants (whatever they were). It, too, sped into the southern distance with a few gunships trailing behind, though many of the ninjas and Pandorans had been unable to escape, instead being taken into custody by the Smash Brothers on the cliffs overlooking Jolly Roger's Lagoon. The Atarians were prepared to pursue those who were retreating, but Rocketman called them off. Better to let them go for now and live to fight another day.

The Serans and Rapturians who were left on Treasure Trove Cove submerged in their remaining Bathyspheres and proceeded back to their mainland underwater, leaving behind the wreckage of their battleship, but also bearing the additional cargo that had been their chief objective.

Finally, Wario and Waluigi landed the Ark in the clearing around the decimated Spiral Mountain and were eager to share the tale of their success until Dr. Clash reported to them with disturbing news. News that didn't seem possible.

The two Seran prisoners who Jody Summer and her comrades had just returned to the lockup—Marcus Fenix and Dominic Santiago—were gone. Again.

* * *

***END OF BOOK TWO***

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE** : Thus concludes Book 2 of _The Forgotten Rights of Passage._ We'll take a break for the holidays, and then on **January 6, 2017** , the third and final book will begin!


	17. Chapter 13: The RareWare Legacy

Book 3

Microsoft

* * *

Chapter 13: The RareWare Legacy

* * *

 **The Copyright Wars**

 **Battle of DK Isle**

* * *

 _ **D**_ _onkey Kong stood on a sandy ledge near the shore of DK Isle, which was composed of a colossal rock that bore an uncanny resemblance to DK's head. Inside the rock, however, spacious tropical worlds abounded as if the small "mouth" of the head were a portal into larger world._

 _Beside him stood most of the Kong family: Diddy; Tiny; Lanky; Chunky; Dixie; Kiddy; Funky; and their patriarch, Cranky, decked out in his karate uniform as if he didn't have a single stiff bone in his old body. They stood with an impressive host of native creatures: Gnawties (beavers); Zingers (wasps); Armydillos; Bristles (porcupines); Neckies (vultures); Slippas (snakes); and many others. In addition, among these animals were some of the distinguished friends of the Kongs: Rambi the Rhino; Squitter the Spider; Ellie the Elephant; Squawks the Parrot; Expresso the Ostrich; and Rattly the Rattlesnake—all prepared to defend their home with their lives. They were congregated around the base of the DK head, along ledges, atop sandbanks, and even on a couple small floating islands. And in the case of Enguarde the sapphire blue swordfish and his aquatic friends, in the ocean itself._

 _They weren't alone. As strange as it seemed, the hulking tower of King K. Rool's floating metal likeness of himself (albeit much skinnier), known as Crocodile Isle, propelled itself to reside alongside DK Isle, the Kremlings setting aside their grudge against the Kongs for the first time ever. Kremlings, Krusha, Klaptraps, Klubba, Klobbers…you get the idea. The croc king himself stood atop the golden crown of his steel structure, wielding dual orange guns, his crazed, bloodshot eye thirsty for a fight._

 _Then there was the other side. DK could see the formation of Spartan gunships, which was to be expected, as well as the last FOXHOUND copter in their midst._

 _Jak stood at the prow of the_ Phantom Blade, _Daxter perched on his shoulder. The sky ship was built of a metal that had the appearance of sleek mahogany, with underbelly propellers and sails like beige butterflies. Under normal circumstances, the ship and its accompanying sky pirates would be under the command of Captain Phoenix, but when the captain had revolted against Microsian occupation, well…he was no longer available._

 _The makeup of the crew had also changed. Many of Phoenix's original crew were still there, very much pirate-like with rather colorful beards, pointed ears, pilot goggles, and the occasional peg leg._

 _But what was most unusual was the fact that they were hauling a large horde of the dreaded Metal Heads, who had of course leapt eagerly upon the Chief's invitation to help him invade other worlds in exchange for power and influence—and just sheer violence. They crept out from the_ Phantom Blade _'s hold, their reptilian claws and tails and scorpion stingers covered in rusted brass armor over sickly blue-green skin. They wielded blades and guns that would project the poisonous Dark Eco plasma at their targets. The creatures themselves were not a talkative bunch, preferring instead to brood and beat their chests and practice swinging their weapons in preparation for their long-anticipated time in the spotlight._

 _Despite Microsoft and Sony's formidable showing, Cranky snorted. "These chilluns don't stand no chance against us, kids. Let's show 'em what we got!"_

 _As the invaders drew near, it struck DK as odd that their enemies had brought no battleships or barges of any kind. But the thought had barely occurred to him before the entire island was hurled into battle._

 _The_ Phantom Blade _led the attack, pausing to allow the sky pirates to jump out one side to confront the animal army, then moving a bit further for the Metal Heads to leap onto Crocodile Isle and face off against their reptilian counterparts. Jak and Daxter remained onboard to oversee its course and the discharging of cannons from the deck._

 _The gunships descended upon the island's defenders, wreaking havoc with lasers and bullets alike. The FOXHOUND copter, on the other hand, appeared to be making an inconspicuous course toward the other side of the island._

 _The Kongs and creatures and Kremlings all engaged the enemy, each in their own way. It was difficult enough for them to deal with the hand-to-hand fighters, but even the best of them were outmatched against Microsoft's firepower._

 _DK crushed a Metal Head scorpion with his fist (the Metal Heads had soon leaked onto both land masses) and threw a charging sky pirate into the air with little effort. Diddy followed up by hurling an exploding orange, which blasted the man off the island into the water. The two grinned at each other and high-fived._

 _"Just like old times, eh, Diddy?"_

 _Diddy had been about to respond when a cannon blast from the_ Phantom Blade _crashed behind them, resulting in a familiar cry of pain. They turned to see Kiddy Kong rolling on the floor, screaming from the wound on his shoulder and the flames that had leapt onto him from the fiery cannonball. Tiny and Dixie rushed forward and did their best to comfort him, applying a special fruity salve that would ease the pain and guiding the young gorilla back to his feet._

 _Dixie turned to her boyfriend. "We've gotta get Kiddy to safety. You boys'll be all right out here?"_

 _"Yeah," Diddy said. Then as they began to head toward the DK "mouth" entrance, he suddenly had a dark premonition and turned back to them. "Wait!" he called. "Take the Funky Flyer and get to the Kongo Jungle on the mainland. You'll be safer there."_

 _Dixie and Tiny nodded, there being no time to argue, and hurried away._

 _DK and Diddy then glared up at the perpetrator of their family member's pain._

 _"You thinking what I'm thinking?" DK said._

 _"Yep."_

 _Within a few seconds, they had swung up vines and clambered up ledges until they were level with the sky ship. They both took off at a run and pounced onto the deck, finding themselves face to face with Jak and Daxter._

 _"I don't remember us inviting you on board," Daxter remarked, drawing an electric bug swatter, whose end consisted of several segments of blue electricity._

 _"Neither do I." Jak drew his Morph Gun, prepared to fire whatever kind of Eco he chose._

 _DK balled his fists and Diddy drew his peanut popguns. The ape stood at his full height to give a more intimidating impression._

 _"Then let us give you an invitation you'll remember: to leave us alone!"_

 _Lanky Kong was wandering aimlessly around the back of the DK head, waving his arms in the air like noodles, having already forgotten what he was supposed to be doing. Then he noticed two things out of the corner of his eye. One was the helicopter making its way around the edge and preparing to land not thirty yards away. The other was the bubbling in the water just offshore, followed by the series of Bathyspheres that rose from the sea like disembodied eyeballs and made for the coast._

 _He panicked and dived behind a rock, almost hollering in surprise. He peered out to behold Solid Snake disembarking and conferring with a Spartan and a Big Daddy which had just come out of one of the creepy glowing subs._

 _"Is the Gear in position?" the bearded man asked._

 _"Affirmative, sir," the Spartan said. "Shall I give the order?"_

 _Snake's features flickered with just an instant of regret, but then he was recomposed as if he'd never faltered. "We should give the locals a chance to run, don't you think?"_

 _The Spartan suddenly abandoned all pretense of subservience. "The Chief instructed us to activate the device without delay." He spoke into a communicator on the wrist of his space armor. "Deploy the weapon."_

 _Snake nodded with what Lanky thought was resignation and turned and reboarded the copter. To the orangutan's surprise, the Spartan and Big Daddy did not have the subs disembark on the island, but returned to their Bathysphere, and the cluster of subs sank back into the water with haste, as if in anticipation of something terrible that was about to take place._

 _"Uh-oh…" He flipped backward into a handstand and made off back toward the front of the island._

 _Funky launched his Boot Bazooka, flooring a giant Metal Head Lizard. He punched a green-bearded pirate in the gut and simultaneously kicked another blue-bearded one behind him._

Haven't had this much fun since we kicked K. Rool's tail in the boxing ring, _he thought, relishing the opportunity to use the bazooka and some of his other mostly fruit-based firearms._

 _A gunship appeared to his left, filled with lasers and bullets poised to blow up this section of the beach._

Well, son of a Kremling, _he thought._

 _Then a large, round, blue-and-orange object floated between him and the gunship. The Spartans were briefly confused, but decided the best response was to open fire. They all missed, however, for the balloon-like Lanky began deflating himself, causing himself to drift rapidly around the vessel with such spasmodic motions that his attackers found it impossible to predict his movements. He did a loop-de-loop and shot straight into the cargo hold, knocking out the entirety of the gunship's occupants. They fell onto an unfortunate spot where an elephant, a rhino, and a swarm of basketball-sized hornets awaited them with animalic adrenaline pumping through their veins._

 _Three orange grenades later, the gunship spun out of control and crashed into the water, while Lanky bounded out of it at the last moment, rolled across the sand, and stood to face Funky with a strange, bemused expression._

 _"Far out, Lanky!' Funky gave the orangutan a knuckle punch, but his friend appeared distressed. "What's up?"_

 _"We've gotta leave," Lanky said, speaking straightforwardly for once in his life. "All of us. Now!"_

* * *

 _King K. Rool was disappointed with the Metal Heads and their pathetic attempt to take over Crocodile Isle. His Kremling army was more than a match for them—even with their sharp blades and purple plasma-spouting guns. It didn't hurt that his brand of reptiles had hide as tough as chainmail; bone-crushing clubs and enormous orange-shaped bodies; walking, hopping bear traps; and suicidal dynamite bombers who ran at the enemy within red-painted barrels. They suffered some casualties, of course, but their enemy was definitely coming off worse for the wear._

 _He socked a scorpion off the giant crown with a punching glove and glanced over at DK Isle. Those gunships were savage, but otherwise the critters seemed to be holding up all right. But then there was the_ Phantom Blade _…and it was not looking good. Diddy and the orange creature were still duking it out, popgun against electric flyswatter, but DK couldn't seem to get a hit in with the young human firing far-reaching yellow plasma, heavy-hitting red plasma, and rapid-firing blue plasma. Try as he might, DK's swipes only met with empty air as Jak danced and leapt out of reach of his arms._

 _K. Rool laughed quietly to himself._ This should be fun.

 _The_ Phantom Blade _must have been made of incredibly durable space material, for K. Rool's belly-flop onto the deck didn't so much as crack at the point of impact. What it did do was rock the boat, rattling both DK and Jak off their feet. The boy backed away toward the stern as DK stood back up, staring at K. Rool distrustfully._

 _"No one kills the Kongs but me," the crocodile explained succinctly. DK nodded; he had no choice but to trust the croc for now. They turned to deal with the boy—only to find that he was busy spinning the steering wheel. But the bad news was that the ship wasn't turning left or right; it was tilting onto its side._

 _Jak fixed them with a fierce, slightly mocking stare. "Have a nice swim."_

 _The_ Phantom Blade _turned over completely, catching DK, Diddy, and K. Rool off guard while the other two clung onto ropes until it had completed a full barrel roll. The Kongs and croc freefell into the ocean, burst back to the surface, and spluttered as they stroked their way to shore._

 _"Man, I hate those guys," Diddy said. Judging from DK's and K. Rool's irate expressions, they shared the chimp's sentiments._

 _That was when it happened. A deep tremor began to shake the entire island—even the ocean around it, causing small ripples to echo out from the center. These ripples grew larger with the intensity of the tremor, strong enough to give pause to anyone who didn't know the full extent of Master Chief's plan—which even included most of his own troops minus FOXHOUND and the Spartans._

 _Funky and Lanky ran up to them, with Chunky and Cranky close behind._

 _"We've gotta blow this place, dudes," Funky said. "Before it blows us!"_

 _"What do you mean?" DK asked._

 _Cranky slapped him in the face without warning. "Darn it, Junior, just move along and get the Funky Flyer up and runnin'! Lanky's seen some downright suspicious activity, and I've got a feelin' in my gut that it won't bode well for anyone who stays behind. We're callin' for a full evacuation of the island."_

 _"Uh, just one problem with that…" Diddy pointed up at the northern sky where Tiny and Dixie were already flying Kiddy away from the battle._

 _DK watched as all their animal friends continued to fight despite the increasingly violent tremors—Expresso ramming pirates with his head; Squawks diving and tossing coconuts; Squitter webbing up enemies left and right; Rattly bouncing off Metal heads like platforms; Enguarde skewering on his nose several Rapturian Splicers who had decided to join the fight late._

 _"So we're all gonna die," he said._

 _K. Rool laughed. "I always wondered why you apes never used your brains…but now I know it's because you don't have any. This is simple: We take off on—"_

 _Crocodile Isle exploded as a concentrated blast of torpedos from submerged Bathyspheres took it down from underneath. It collapsed like a giant statue, Kremlings desperately leaping off its ramparts into the water._

 _K. Rool's grin faded like an unwanted math problem beneath a streak of Wite-Out._

 _And they could see that the Microsians—or the important ones, at least—knew what was coming as well. The Bathyspheres and gunships and FOXHOUND copter turned tail and began putting distance between themselves and the island. Jak and Daxter dipped the_ Phantom Blade _low enough for most of the remaining sky pirates to jump on before making its own escape. But the surviving Metal Heads all remained, neglected by their employers._

* * *

 _Chunky began bawling, and DK pounded his fists in frustration._

 _"They can't do this! We can't go down like this. We won't!"_

 _And as it turned out, he was right. No sooner had the words left his mouth than a trio of huge winged airships appeared from the north, making a beeline for DK Isle. They came until they were hovering directly above the island, then slowly landed, allowing all beneath them to move out of the way._

 _The ships' propellers slowed to a stop and a wooden ramp opened up in the side of the center ship, through which the first of its occupants stepped down to shore._

 _It was Mario, and Luigi, and Princess Peach and the Toads and Koopas and Goombas from the Mushroom Kingdom. Evidently they were coming to the Kongs' rescue in lieu of Bowser since the Koopa King had been captured._

 _"Jumpman?" DK was surprised to see the plumber and his entourage. "What're you doing here?"_

 _A resounding boom shook their legs, many of them forced to the ground, and just like that, the island began to sink into the ocean at an alarming rate._

 _Mario just shook his head. "It's a-time to go. Get on with all your a-friends and a-family. Hurry!"_

 _It was a race against time, critters large and small scampering and flying into Bowser's airships like Noah's Ark. By now the majority of the Microsians were distant enough that Nintendo didn't have to worry about them coming back for more—and with the airships here, it was doubtful they would even if they could._

 _The Kongs climbed in last, except for Mario, Luigi, and Peach, who brought up the rear on each ship. They had even offered the Metal Heads a ride, but the creatures lashed out with teeth and claws by way of answer, either completely oblivious to what was going on or else too prideful to accept help from their foes._

 _The propellers started up, and once they were all warmed up, the airships took off, leaving the shrinking island behind, where the water had now come up to the base of the DK head's mouth, and it showed no sign of slowing down or stopping._

 _DK and his family watched from the edge of their ship as the airship gradually moved away from their home. The sun had begun to set, reflecting an eerie yellow-orange glow off of every surface of land and sea, as if the island were being engulfed by fire and water at the same time. The water level reached the nose, and then the eyes, and then only the dark tip was left. And then it was gone, and rather than ending with some kind of dramatic splash or explosion, the ocean appeared to just brush over it, already pretending that DK Isle had never existed._

 _DK glanced over at Cranky. His old man's eyes were wet. Cranky Kong was crying—something he had never done before and would never do again. DK and his siblings and cousins were numbed by shock and denial right now, but for Cranky, the full impact of what had happened had already sunk in. The withered chimpanzee leaned on his cane for support; even though he was still in his karate suit, he was exhausted both physically and emotionally. He looked over at his son and the rest of the Kong family and whispered in a way that felt louder than a scream._

" _What's happened here, children…you must never,_ never _forget. Never forget where we came from, what they did to us, and one day…someday…you'll get the chance to strike back. And when that chance comes…promise me you'll take it. All of you. For our home."_

 _DK could just make out the dark shape of Enguarde leading the other ocean creatures after the airships. Even though they dwelt underwater, their home had been taken from them just the same. He clenched his fists and blinked away tears of his own._

" _I promise, Gramps," he said._

* * *

Now that the Battle of the Isle o' Hags was over, the first order of business was to secure the prisoners of war and treat the wounded. The Hayabusa ninjas and Pandorans that remained numbered some 75, including Ryu Hayabusa himself, who had been taken down by Kirby's hammer following the appearance of the Atarians. All of them found a place in the Ark's holding cells until further decisions could be made.

Many Nintendonians had fallen in battle, mainly those who had fought in Bubblegloop Swamp and Jolly Roger's Lagoon, but also a number of Pokémon, mages, and soldiers. They'd had no problem combatting the Gruntlings; it was the Minjos who had caused the most devastation around Spiral Mountain. Fortunately, with the help of the Jiggies' power, the deadly creatures were all gone for good.

Banjo knelt at the base of the desecrated Spiral Mountain and picked out from the rubble a cracked mustard-yellow object. He allowed Kazooie to brush the layer of filth off of Mumbo's skull and bowed his head, hot tears dripping through his fur. The shaman's body had not been recovered; this was all that was left of him.

He wasn't alone. Close beside him stood Humba Wumba, who was perhaps the only one who had been more devastated by Mumbo's loss than the bear and bird. She gently took the skull from Banjo and cradled it in her arms, trembling, the skull's blank face staring up at her without its usual deprecating humor.

Also nearby, forming a circle, stood a number of other Isle o' Hag residents: Bottles, his goggles fogged up with moisture; his wife and offspring, all moles after his own kind; his brother, Jam-Jars, saluting Mumbo's remains like the military officer he claimed to be; Master Jiggywiggy, his jigsaw head bowed in a gesture of grave respect.

Standing among the five remaining Jinjos, King Jingaling, a large yellow Jinjo with a crown, blinked with disbelief. Although Jinjo Village had somehow managed to come out of all this unharmed, the monarch could intimately feel the island's great loss.

And then, at Banjo's shoulder, a tiny bear with gold ponytails, a scarlet shirt with a yellow star, and magenta pants placed a gentle hand on her brother's arm, unable to suppress tears of her own. Tooty, whose kidnapping had been the subject of Banjo & Kazooie's first conflict with Gruntilda, knew well that without Mumbo, she would have been much worse off than she was now.

Even the racers from Timber's Island, who had known Mumbo from their associations with RareWare during the Copyright Wars, had come to pay their respects: Timber; Tiptup; Pipsy; Krunch; T.T.; Bumper; Drumstick; all, while not as close as the island's natives, understood at least to some degree what their neighbors had lost.

The rest of the Smash Brothers had allowed the islanders their space for their own private mourning. Gadd had seen fit to call everyone into the Ark during this time; no one would be able to offer a more proper memorial for the witch doctor than those closest to him.

"He once told me that it's not magic that makes us strong," Banjo said. "It's the beating heart that magic runs through—a conduit that'll make or break us when the tryin' times come."

"I kinda miss how he would transform us into a washing machine so we could spit underwear at people," Kazooie added as her contribution, forgetting that it was actually Humba who was responsible for that particular transformation.

Master Jiggywiggy closed his eyes as if he could feel particles of magic in the air. "It is now more important than ever," he said, "that we allow no discontent to divide us. The Smash Brothers have won a great victory here, but a temporary one. The worst, I fear, still lies ahead."

Humba's tears had become tears of anger. She, like many others, was overwhelmed by how much Microsoft had taken from them. "The worst lie ahead for _them_ ; not us."

* * *

Red and his father found a nice knoll in Jinjo Village from which to watch the sunset. The small settlement arrayed below them looked like an assortment of speckled gumdrop houses, one for each of the five Jinjo families (blue, green, orange, purple, and yellow), although there had once been five others (black, white, red, brown, and gray) who had all been destroyed during the Copyright Wars. All but the gray house still stood as a reminder of an old, forgotten world, a sad contrast to the brilliance of the golden Jinjo Palace, which somewhat resembled a squared-off Mayan Temple.

Red looked at Quentin, the man's worn features and keen eyes as interesting as anything else he'd seen in Sony, Atari, or the Isle o' Hags.

"Dad, I was wondering…after all this, once we've stopped Microsoft and everything…"

"You wish for me to come home with you."

Red nodded.

Quentin smiled. "Of course I will. Truth be told, even with my years of experience at sea, one reason I didn't return was because This World…this planet…is so vast that I would have been lost trying to find the Nintendo World on my own. But now that you and your friends are here, I have a way back—back to Pallet Town, to your mother and your sister."

The boy's brain exhaled with relief. For some reason he'd been worried that his father's quest for enlightenment would mean that he would never come back.

"Speaking of which…how are they? Delia? April?"

"They're doing good," Red said. "Mom's still working in town as a teacher; April's actually filling in as a gym leader in Saffron City while we're away. Oh, and she's dating Luigi, one of the Smash Brothers here with us."

"Is that so?" Quentin stroked his chin. "I'll have to meet this 'Luigi,' then…."

Red laughed. Now that the mood had lightened, he hoped his next question wouldn't appear too prying.

"So…what _did_ you do for all those years away, if it's okay for me to ask?"

At that, Quentin grew sober once more. "I found myself, Red. Most people won't understand what it's like to take a spiritual journey…but that is what I was doing. Exploring the world both within and without. Learning—truly learning—of Pokémon, even living as they do in caves and trees, on islands and meadows and mountains. Questioning my beliefs and preconceived notions of existence itself. This was the only way I could develop the Spirit Bond with Pokémon I now share."

Red tried his best to wrap his head around all this, but it didn't quite happen, and that idiom didn't make sense anyways.

"There will come a day, son, when I will need your help to fulfill my purpose, to change the Pokémon world forever. I hope by then I will have earned your trust, in spite of not having been the father I should have been."

Red blinked. "You already have my trust. What is this great thing you have to do? Whatever it is, I'll do whatever I can to help."

Quentin smiled and put an arm around him. "That means a lot. It really does. And I will tell you, I promise…when the time is right. But you are not quite ready yet."

Red wanted to argue, his curiosity killing him, but he ultimately decided his father wouldn't tell him anything he didn't want to, and besides, their budding relationship was more important than anything else.

"Who's the tramp, Red?"

Their moment was suddenly broken by the entrance of Gary, who couldn't hold in his snide personality whenever his competitive cousin was around.

Red and Quentin both turned in surprise.

"What're you doing here, Gary?"

"Wait."

Quentin stepped up to Gary and examined his face at an uncomfortably close distance. Gary looked as if he was about to shove the man to the ground, but then Quentin enfolded him in an unexpected embrace and laughed.

"Gary? It _is_ you! My, how you've grown…do you not recognize your Uncle Quentin?"

"Uncle?" He looked back and forth between Red and Quentin several times before comprehension dawned on his face. "No way! Where the heck did you come from?"

"It's a long story."

"Lay it on me, Gramps."

* * *

"So let me get this straight: Tiny, Lanky and Chunky are back on Sony with Princess Peach; you and those other guys came through Atari; and Diddy and the rest are in the hands of _Microsoft?_ "

Dixie nodded, looking glum after having had to relive for DK everything she'd been through since the Master Chief's attack on Candy Chateau. They sat in one of the taller Spiral Mountain trees that had survived the battle, feeling more at home there than in the sophisticated Ark.

DK could hardly contain the rage in his voice, but he just managed to do so because he knew none of this was Dixie's fault. "I knew sending you guys out there without decent protection was a mistake. Gadd separated our family for his own selfish reasons, and now Diddy's life is in danger because of it."

"DK, Gadd had nothing to do with it. We decided as a group to go out to meet the Chief; it was us that should've been more careful."

But she saw something kindle in the Kong's eyes she'd never seen before. A smoldering resentment that made them burn like white-hot coals.

DK shook his head. "Things are gonna have to change around here, Dixie…and they're gonna have to change soon, or we'll lose everything and everyone we've got left."

"DK?" She was scared now—an emotion she never thought she'd feel around the Kong family leader.

But DK had already disappeared amidst the trees, swinging from branch to branch like a wild creature going off to brood on the injustice of its impotent existence.

* * *

"It's a-bout time you and your bro-ther got here."

Mr. Game & Watch and Luigi sat across from each other in one of the Ark's lounges, casually watching one of Wario's awful cartoon shows on a big plasma screen attached to the ceiling. Even though it had only been a few weeks since they'd seen each other, to the two old friends, it felt like much longer than that.

Luigi chuckled. "Yeah…if you and the Atarians had a-come much later, we'd probably be vaporized by a-now."

They talked for a while about G.W.'s adventures on board _The King's Krystal_ , his escapade on Kaine Island, the disastrous clash at Candy Chateau, and the queer experiences on Atari Island as he'd defied the Space Invader Queen. Finally, the conversation turned to the plumber. If it was possible for the silhouette Smasher to look smug, this was that moment.

"And how is A-pril?"

Luigi sighed, but it was a sigh of pleasure. "It's the best. Now I know a-why Mario goes to such ridiculous lengths to save a-Peach. I've never known anyone who doesn't a-judge me for my clumsiness."

"You real-ize her fa-ther is here with Red, yes?"

Luigi blanched. He hadn't thought of that. Oh well; best to delay the inevitable rather than actually confront his problems face to face. He thought of something else. "What about a-Peasley?"

G.W.'s literally expressionless face remained the same, but his tone definitely grew more serious. "He is with the o-thers who were cap-tured by Mi-cro-soft. I hope he is all right…"

Luigi nodded. "I'm a-ready to be done with all these a-wars. Rescuing princes isn't quite what I'm a-used to…but it'll have to do."

* * *

Link and Zelda had chosen a spot near the top of Spiral Mountain to sit and admire the stars—strange constellations they'd never seen before, filled with promises of mystery and wonder. The sparkling lights, however, reminded the Hero of Time of his younger self.

"I hope the kid is all right," he said. "First we lost Navi…then Epona…and now he's somewhere out there dealing with those high-tech Microsians. Hyrule isn't equipped to fight enemies like them."

Zelda leaned on his shoulder. "If he's anything like you, I don't think you have to worry. You have a stubborn way of surviving even the most dangerous situations, no matter how many evil things try to stop you."

"You're right." Link put an arm around her. Something else was weighing heavily on his mind, and he felt he probably wouldn't have a better opportunity to share it than now. "Zelda…after all this is over…I was thinking about the future of Hyrule, of _our_ future. How would you feel…how would you feel if we—OW!"

Something hard nailed him on the back of the head. He turned and picked up the object to discover that it was a spiral seashell. A seashell…in the middle of the island? Who would have…

And then he spotted her, half-hidden around the corner of the mountain's winding trail.

"Ruto!"

The Zoran princess emerged, giggling, pretending that the enormous satisfaction she was feeling came from the hilarity of the prank she'd pulled rather than the moment she'd so opportunely interrupted.

"I swear, if you don't cut that out I'll…"

Her orb-like eyes glowed in the dark tauntingly. "You'll what?"

"I'll…" The hero's noble side intruded, preventing him from making any legitimate threat. So he settled for: "You don't want to know."

Ruto turned and frolicked away, smiling to herself and considering Link's sad attempt at a threat and responding in her mind. _Oh, yes, Link…I really think I do…."_

Zelda smiled at both of them. "It's all right, Link. Let the princess have her fun. You weren't any more mature when you were younger."

"But she's the same age as me!"

* * *

"Intriguing," Gadd said, adjusting his glasses while he listened to Megaman recount his history as the creation of Dr. Light; his numerous conflicts with Dr. Wily; his crusade against the rebellious Robot Masters known as Mavericks. "I have so many questions about your world…but for now, I think, the most important question is this: Will Sony stand with us against Microsoft?"

Megaman nodded. "Most of us will. A few, like the inhabitants of Strangereal, most likely won't get involved, but no one will be against your cause, and the rest of us will fight to right the wrongs that have been infracted against both our worlds. Though we were made enemies during the Copyright Wars, professor, I hope you recognize that we suffered at least as much as your people did."

Gadd grinned and looked out at the others situated on the Ark's bridge: Rocketman; Pacman; Bomberman; Dr. Clash. Wario and Waluigi were on the bridge, too, but they were off fiddling with various controls and didn't appear much interested in their discussion. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that we don't hold any of that against you. If anything, we owe you and Rocketman our lives; Gruntilda's forces nearly overwhelmed us."

"If the rest of Sony is anything like you, son," Dr. Clash said, the metal claw attached to his back pouring a sip of water into his mouth, "then I think we'll be in good shape to show Microsoft who's boss!"

"Yes…" Megaman said. Several images flashed through his head: Sly Cooper, snatching Megalandian valuables behind Bass's back; Sackboy, puncturing an artificial sun made of yarn and causing globs of yellow paint to explode and cover everyone in the vicinity; Rayman, snoozing in his hammock while Globox tried to creep up on him and slap him in the face with his stretchy blue arms. Anything like him, indeed.

Bomberman waved his arms at both Gadd and Megaman, requiring Pacman to translate.

"He says he wants to know what kinds of bombs you've got over in Sony. Didn't the professor's evil cousin steal some kind of nuclear machines from Shadow Moses Island?"

Megaman frowned. "Yes; apparently we've lost track of some very dangerous weaponry. But I assure you we won't rest until we locate this Reeka person and ensure those nukes never go off. In the meantime, though, I think Bomberman might like to see one of my Grappler Bombs—one of our finest models…"

While the Sonian pulled out a flashing red object with a pointed metal end, Gadd turned to Rocketman.

"And your people…what can we do to accommodate them? Can we count on your help moving forward?"

WE REQUIRE NOTHING, the midair text stated. BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING. I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THE ATARIANS ARE JUST AS FED UP WITH MICROSOFT AS YOU ARE, AND THEY WILL DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY TO PREVENT FALLING INTO CAPTIVITY EVER AGAIN.

"Very good," Gadd said, watching as the Wario Bros. began slapping each other over who would get to go to lunch first. "Because I think we'll need all the help we can get."

* * *

Banjo & Kazooie had chosen to stay the night with Bottles and his family; it had been ages since they'd been here, after all. They were on their way down into the moles' burrow, however, when a familiar figure approached them from the direction of the Ark.

"A thousand binary apologies," L.O.G. said, inclining his head toward first the bear and bird and then Bottles and his family. "But I wish to speak with the bear and bird in private. Is that acceptable?"

Bottles gave L.O.G. and then Banjo a strange look, shrugged, and ushered his wife and kids through the entrance, leaving the three of them alone in the dark, L.O.G.'s luminous screen the only source of light.

Banjo squinted at the bright computer monitor. "How's it goin'?"

"I am doing well, thank you," L.O.G. said. "I have something to tell you—something I hope you can keep confidential, for were this to get out too quickly or to the wrong individuals, I fear it could have undesirable outputs."

"Well, spit it out," Kazooie said.

"I…am not sure how to explain this. But here it is in, as you humans would say, a nutshell."

"We're not humans," Kazooie pointed out.

"We share a history that you do not remember…because it never happened."

"We share a history that we don't…remember because it…never happened…what?" Banjo's mind stumbled over the sentence, but its only product was confusion.

"Allow me to explain."

"What do you think we're doing?" Kazooie scoffed.

"This World that you live in—not just Nintendo, but the Islands, Sony, Microsoft, other planets, all of it—exists in what you might call in science fiction terms a space-time continuum. Being the omniscient computer that I am, I have a perfect recollection of everything and everyone in every game ever made…and everything that has ever happened in those games."

"What do you mean, 'games'?" Banjo asked.

"My apologies. What I mean to say is, the worlds and adventures that make up your lives make up part of my permanent memory. But there is something my perfect hard drive has been unable to compute."

"Doesn't sound so perfect to me," Kazooie said.

"There was an adventure, here on the Isle o' Hags…one in which I mediated between you and Gruntilda to determine who would win the property rights to Spiral Mountain."

Kazooie raised a feathery eyebrow. "No there wasn't."

"Correct. And you see my dilemma."

"…Sort of?" was Banjo's noncommittal response.

"Anything I remember must be truth…yet in this one instance, I am finding increasing evidence that our experience together was less than entirely real."

"You mean your electric organs are garbage," Kazooie said.

"It seems they have malfunctioned, yes. But my probability drive indicated that you two would be the most likely to be able to help me understand this lapse in logic. Do you, perhaps, have any indication of what has happened?" The green Pong bars slid up and down hopefully.

"Yeah," Kazooie said. "I think the Master Chief fried your sanity drive."

"Kazooie!" Banjo sighed and looked back at L.O.G. "I dunno for sure…but I think this all might have to do with the memories of everyone back at Nintendo…and from what it sounds like, some of those in Sony, too. Some of our memories are fuzzy when it comes to the Copyright Wars or anything before that. The Kongs and us remember more, but still…it's like someone went in and edited a buncha scenes out of the movies in our heads."

L.O.G. appeared to consider this new information very much like a PC downloading a file from the internet. In fact, an actual download bar popped up on the screen and showed the progress of its considerations.

"Most informative. I still cannot process precisely what this means, but I believe we are a step closer toward understanding what has been going on in This World—in our world. You have my deepest thanks, jigsaw heroes. Have a wonderful sleep mode." With that, the ambassador drifted back toward the Ark.

Banjo & Kazooie glanced at each other.

"Like I said," the Breegull concluded. "Sanity drive."

* * *

Days passed by as the Smash Brothers rejuvenated from the Battle of the Isle o' Hags and began to make plans for the next, most dangerous step of their mission: the invasion of Microsoft. Each hero was troubled for different reasons, but a few issues troubled most or all of them.

Gadd stood at the head of a conference room in the Ark, where they were holding a special meeting that included Dr. Clash, Jody Summer, Master Jiggywiggy, Banjo & Kazooie, Humba, Bottles, Jam-Jars, and the eleven present members of the Original 25 (Nana, Mario, Marth, Luigi, Game & Watch, Link, Zelda, Red, DK, Kirby, and Mewtwo). No one else knew that this meeting was taking place, for its subject matter was highly sensitive.

"You're all here," Gadd said, "because I trust you. And because chances are, there's a traitor in our midst."

Mutterings began to erupt around the table, but the professor talked over them. "What evidence do we have? Well, first, our crew on _The King's Krystal_ was anticipated at Candy Chateau by Master Chief, who shouldn't have had any idea we were going to Sony at all. Second, they also appeared to anticipate our arrival on the Isle o' Hags. And third…someone released the two Seran prisoners, Marcus Fenix and Dominic Santiago, from the holding cells, and then after Ms. Summer and a few others helped lock them up again, they were broken out sometime before Wario and Waluigi took off from Treasure Trove Cove."

"If you'll excuse my persisting distrust," Jam-Jars said, "my soldier's instinct still points at the computer ambassador, L.O.G. He could've informed the Chief of the _Krystal_ 's objectives, alerted Grunty of our assault here, _and_ used his technological whirligigs to free the Serans. It just makes sense."

"See, that's what I thought, too," Gadd said, frowning. "But it still doesn't add up. Why would L.O.G. allow Master Chief to shoot him, injuring him within an inch of his life? If that was a setup, then it was extremely well staged. And also, this past battle would've been the perfect opportunity for him to reveal his betrayal; we would surely have failed had he not assisted us in navigating this island, and even without L.O.G. as an informant, Master Chief would have had no further need of a spy once he knew we were all on our way toward their mainland."

"I agree with the professor," Bowser growled. "Believe me, I didn't want to trust that freak of nature, either, but he's proven himself to us…and whoever this spy is, anyway, he's failing miserably. We crushed them like a Goomba beneath a Thwomp."

"But we lost man-y friends at Can-dy Cha-teau," Game & Watch pointed out.

"So who else could it be?" Zelda asked.

 _"I suspect someone who has joined us recently,"_ Mewtwo said. _"I cannot believe any of the original Smash Brothers would betray us—not even the Wario Brothers or King Dedede, because they know what we would do to them if we found out."_

"Are we sure our Timber's Island friends can all be trusted?" Marth made a point of not looking at the Isle o' Hags residents, but it was inferable that his question included all the islanders.

"I can assure you that the bear, bird, shaman, and moles would never support Gruntilda or anyone who would put this island in subjugation," Master Jiggywiggy said, addressing that unspoken concern first.

"Pipsy is definitely with us," Jody Summer added, "but I don't know about the rest of the racers."

"I can vouch for them," DK said. "Diddy's friends are as loyal to Taj and what RareWare stood for as anyone."

Nana then spoke up, albeit with reluctance. "We've met some great people since we got to Sony…but I have to admit, a lot of them I don't know very well: Megaman…Rocketman…" She glanced in Red's direction, knowing her next words would bite. "Even Quentin…any of them could have been working behind our backs."

Red's expression grew dark. "It wasn't him," he said without offering any explanation. "It just wasn't."

The awkwardness created by this interchange was finally broken by the professor clearing his throat. "In any case, I ask that you all keep your eyes open for anything out of the ordinary. Because if you do notice strange behavior—even from those you trust—" He glanced at Red. "that could make the difference between the success and failure of our mission. Thank you all for coming; now let us go and meet the Smash Brothers together, shall we?"

* * *

They gathered at the foot of Spiral Mountain, the 800-odd army anticipating the words of their leader, who stood a few spirals up the mountain with a headset to amplify his voice. Already a couple days had passed since the battle, and yet its effects could still be seen among the Nintendonians, with soldiers bearing slings, and Toads and Koopas and Gorons and all the rest bandaged where they'd been wounded.

"We've lost some good people this week," Gadd said, not feeling quite as eloquent as individuals such as Meta Knight or Mewtwo, who had both given great inspirational speeches in the past. "People who've died in defense of an ideal that, for too long, has been lost between our worlds. That ideal is this: That Nintendonians, Sonians, Microsians, Atarians, Islanders—all of us—have the right to know each other in peace, the right of safe passage between worlds without fear of treachery or foul play."

Gadd began pacing along the ledge, sweeping his eyes across the diverse groups of people. "Many of us may have forgotten all these things, and that's a mystery I still intend to solve. But for now, let us be content knowing that whatever veil blocking our memories, whatever spell cast over our minds, is being broken. Thanks to the efforts of brave individuals, like L.O.G. and our friends on _The King's Krystal_ , the barriers that once divided us are breaking down. And soon, once we've dealt with the more radical leaders of Microsoft, we will achieve a new world peace!"

Cheers broke out. L.O.G. inclined his head in acknowledgement, the computer mouse leaping off his monitor onto his shoulder and then back again in excitement. The Smashers and other leaders from the previous meeting joined in the enthusiasm while also glancing at each other meaningfully. After a full minute, the noise subsided and allowed Gadd to finish.

"It's high time, I think, we take the fight to the enemy and rescue our captured friends. For the next while, do what must be done: Rejuvenate; train; plan; prepare; be ready to take on the Master Chief and his regime. We've faced evil in its purest form before, and we can surely do it again!"

* * *

"See that fireball coming at us?" Falco observed. "Let's avoid it."

The Spartan gunship full of escapees swerved to one side, allowing a cluster of glowing, seething magma to rocket past them. The projectile had come from one of the fairytale castle's balconies, and several more were on their way.

"Hold on," Joanna said, gritting her teeth.

The gunship dived down to avoid the next wave, then tilted sharply to the right in a roundabout course toward the castle.

"Can't we return fire?" Falcon asked, watching anxiously as a veritable asteroid field of molten rock flew toward them.

Snake shook his head. "They'll never trust us if we fight back. We must get close enough to show them who we are."

Joanna piloted the vessel expertly around the next onslaught of lava balls, bringing them within less than thirty seconds of reaching the castle. Using his computer lens to zoom in on the source of their discomfort, Falco identified it as what appeared to be a red basketball-sized termite balancing a cannon made of lava rock on its shoulders.

"Huh," he said.

Then came the grand finale: two giant chunks like meteor-sized meatballs, followed by an actual wall of liquid lava for good measure, all of it being spit out of the cannon like magic.

"Shoot!" Except Joanna didn't say "shoot."

There seemed to be no way out—no time to turn around, no space to escape in any direction. They were going to be crushed and then melted like almond bark.

Sackboy sped out of the hold on a woolen hover board, holding up what appeared to be a yellow bubble blower. Those in the cockpit watched with incredulity as he flew in a ring around the gunship, waving the wand and enclosing the entire craft in an enormous bubble.

The meatball meteors bounced off the bubble like billiard balls, and the gunship passed through the lava wall waterfall. The balcony beyond revealed, in place of the Element of Power known as Thermite, a small elfin girl with dark hair and striking green eyes.

Blue sparks of magic danced across Kameo's fingers, and she was about to activate another elemental form in defense of her castle when she recognized the striking red hair of the pilot and gasped. She lowered her hands and allowed the gunship to tentatively approach and then land on the balcony. She stepped up to the stolen vehicle, whose hatches were opening to allow its occupants to step out.

"Welcome to the Enchanted Kingdom," Kameo said. "Sorry about that fireworks display…." She feigned an epiphanous expression and snapped her finger. "Oh, wait! No I'm not. You came in a freaking Spartan gunship; what did you expect?"

* * *

They were all shown by elfin guards to comfortable quarters where they could get some sleep that was much needed, considering they'd arrived in the middle of the night from their long ordeal in Reach. The rooms accommodated about three or four each, the divisions being Toon Link, Roy, Popo, and Ness; Yoshi, Prince Peasley, and Diddy Kong; Shadow, Meta Knight, and Captain Falcon; Falco, Snake, and Sackboy; and Tetra, Samus, and Joanna.

The bedchambers were plush and filled with bright colors and intricate designs similar to those on the Wotnot Book Kameo had been carrying as they'd walked inside. But none of them paid much attention to these details other than the cloud-like softness of the mattresses and pillows that carried them off almost instantly into restful unconsciousness.

The next morning, the guards came to each of their rooms and escorted them to the dining hall where they met with Kameo as well as her adoptive parents, the king and queen of the realm.

Though they weren't blood-related, the monarchs looked much like Kameo, only with regal dress and bejeweled crowns and a more dignified posture than their heir, who bore greater resemblance to a forest nymph than a princess.

The dining hall was as colorful and magically opulent as the rest of the castle, but the guests had been exposed to so much opulence by now that their environment had hardly any bearing on them as they conversed over huge platters of strange fruits and vegetables.

"Kameo tells us you are here to take a stand against the Spartans," the queen said.

"That's right, Your Highness." Snake was the one who told the tale of the Nintendonians' arrival on Sony, of their efforts to unify its kingdoms, and of their confrontation with Master Chief and subsequent capture. Joanna then stepped in and filled in the gaps, recounting her colleagues' rescue mission in New Alexandria and the terrible sight of the Carrington Institute's burning remains on their way over. The three elves listened with rapt interest, but also with growing concern.

"You tread perilous waters," the old king said. "If you and your friends do not succeed, our entire planet will pay a terrible price."

"What do you think we came to you for?" Diddy said, having consuming everything that even vaguely resembled a banana. "This is the chance for all of RareWare's lands to reunite and take up our cause one last time. With both Nintendo and Sony behind us, there's no way we'll lose."

Kameo snickered.

"What's so funny?" Falco challenged. "You don't think we can win against a few glorified tin cans?"

"You don't get it…do you?"

"Get what?" Tetra asked.

"There's no 'winning' against Microsoft. Even with all the other worlds combined—even if you get past Wolf's Dragoons and the Tediz and the Master Chief himself—you'll never quench the source of their power."

"Tediz?" Roy, like the others, felt almost completely lost in all the unfamiliar names being thrown at him.

"And what's the source?" Samus said.

"The Great Moon Deity…" At the mention of the name, all the elves in the room, even the guards and kitchen workers coming in and out with food and drinks, froze and became as if the pall of death had suddenly overshadowed them.

"He is their source," Kameo continued. "An ancient being of unimaginable power. A being that brought about the destruction of the original RareWare, which has been fragmented ever since."

Captain Falcon frowned for two reasons. First, because there was no protein in this meal. The second reason he gave voice to. "I still don't really get what this RareWare thing's all about. They're just some island folk who wanted independence from Microsoft?"

Joanna shook her head. "We were much more than that. Kameo and I…we were part of the original council. Conker, too…" At that, they all thought of the squirrel's sacrifice on Candy Chateau. "But ever since he left for Timber's Island during the Copyright Wars, his homeland, the Willow Woods, has gone nuts."

"Punny," Falco said.

"As for the rest, well…Taj and Cranky Kong and Master Jiggywiggy and L.O.G.…they all did their best to hold us together, even during the war. We were strong. But… _he_ was too much."

"I'm not even gonna pretend to know who half those people are," Captain Falcon said. "I get it. The Moon Deity's a big deal. But we've dealt with big deals before: Nightmare; Tabuu; there's no one we can't beat together."

Kameo gave an appreciative (though cynical) smile. These Smash Brothers were something else. So sure of themselves. So optimistic. "Well, given that there's no going back, I guess we'll have no choice but to find out."

* * *

Under the full moon, atop New Alexandria's tallest skyscraper, the Master Chief waited. The moon glowed with a pearly brightness like a celestial eye, staring down unblinkingly upon the whole world. The night life of the great city raged below, but from up here it was remote, the highest point of the concrete canopy. The air was still and cold, though the Chief's suit self-regulated his temperature.

Finally, the awaited visitor arrived. A hulking shadow eclipsed the moon, at first an indistinct shape, but becoming a more distinct outline as it approached from the sky. Up close, it was colossal—like a giant monument to some ancient king, with a large round body, limbs like redwood tree trunks, and horns jutting out of its head above two glowing yellow slits. Somehow the silhouette alighted smoothly onto the rooftop, hardly making a sound.

Master Chief did something he would only do for one person: He knelt before the figure and inclined his head, addressing it with reverence.

"Great Moon Deity…you honor me with your presence."

The silhouette breathed deeply and loudly like some kind of beast. It said nothing, but as the Master Chief knelt there, he received its response telepathically, and what he heard was not good.

"I beg your forgiveness, Great Deity. I admit I underestimated the Nintendonians…but now that they are coming here, we will vanquish their resistance forever and take back all the worlds—including their mainlands. The banished scientist is preparing his device to devastate Nintendo as we speak. As for the escapees…we tracked them on our stolen ship to the Enchanted Kingdom, and they will be dealt with shortly."

The figure responded with a loud, rather porcine snort. Master Chief listened for another long moment before speaking.

"I'm glad you asked, Great Deity. I expected better from Gruntilda, but now I believe it's time to hit closer to home. I'm putting Agent Alpha into play, and he will never stop until he has destroyed the one he hates and all his friends."

The figure laughed a deep, congested laugh. It stared at the Chief for several more seconds, the Spartan almost quailing before its intense gaze.

It pushed off the roof into the air, the moonlight reflecting off its purple cape billowing in the wind; its leathery, peach-colored skin; and its crazed yellow eyes. It disappeared into the night, leaving the Spartan like a living nightmare promising to return.


	18. Chapter 14: Cataclysm

Chapter 14: Cataclysm

* * *

 _ **D**_ r. Clash jerked awake, bringing an abrupt end to his snoring as a distinct movement came from one of the security screens. The figure in the cell—that ninja warrior—was waving at him.

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. What could the Microsian want now? Dr. Clash was admittedly a bit short-tempered ever since the two Seran prisoners had killed one of his fellow racers. But duty demanded that he show a higher level of civility than their enemy had. He pressed the intercom button which connected to that particular cell.

"What is it?"

The prisoner just stood there, hands clenched at its sides, appearing to deliberate what to say. He had a very sober demeanor, or at least the appearance of it.

"This…will sound like a trick. But it is not. I wish to speak with your leader, the spiral-eyed one."

The old man shrugged, forgetting that the prisoner couldn't see him through the camera. "I'll see if he's available." He dialed the professor and made the call.

Professor E. Gadd stood on the other side of the glass wall with his hands behind his back, regarding the ninja with mixed caution and curiosity.

"Well, I'm here."

The man maintained his motionless, sober position, his face concealed behind his mask as always. But his eyes fixed themselves on Gadd like a living statue.

"I am Ryu, heir of the Hayabusa clan. We have fought alongside the Master Chief to protect our lands…but during the battle last week, your pink warrior showed me something in your people I did not expect: honor.

"Honor is the most important quality in a warrior, and yet it is something I now see many of our leaders lack: the Spartans; the witch; the pig; they claim to fight for us, and yet all I have seen is aggressive conquest at the expense of many of my family's lives. I am done serving honorless leaders. I will help you defeat them…if you will spare my clan's lives."

 _Pig?_ Gadd wondered. This was a lot to absorb at once. But he did his best.

"I would welcome any help you can give us, Ryu. But are you really willing to turn on your homeland?"

"Vigoor _is_ my homeland; Microsoft is merely the mainland we occupy. And at this point, I believe you can do much to erase the corruption from Microsoft's military zealots. Aiding you would not be betraying my people; I now believe it would be serving their best interests. Serving _all_ of our best interests."

Gadd nodded. "We'll do all we can to help you purify Microsoft's governing bodies. Welcome aboard."

For three days, the escapees remained at the Enchanted Castle. Though they worried that the Spartans might attack them at any time, it soon became apparent that attempting to reunite with the Smash Brothers would be a futile endeavor until they could make contact. And in the meantime, their unique position deep in the heart of Microsoft presented an invaluable opportunity to gather intel for their allies, and they began discussing what they could do to best be of help. The weary travelers also needed time to heal from their ordeal beginning on Candy Chateau and ending with their escape from New Alexandria.

* * *

"Link…"

The boy turned away from the bright mid-afternoon sunlight flooding through the tall arched windows onto the colorful mosaic floor. The gallery was a place he'd felt inexplicably drawn to ever since he arrived at the castle. It was filled with detailed fairy sculptures; radiant paintings of royal feasts and magical festivals; ominous pastels of Trolls and Shadow Trolls; entrancing sketches of the ten Elemental Warriors. Even with all the magic back in Hyrule, he'd never seen anything quite like it.

But why did he feel drawn here? Was it because the pictures reminded him of his own cartoonish appearance?

He turned and was surprised to find Tetra standing there, frowning with her arms folded.

He shook himself out of his artistic reverie. "Yeah?"

"We need to talk."

"What about?"

"What you said back on _The King's Krystal_ …about knowing me from somewhere…for some reason, it's been stuck on my mind ever since then. What exactly do you 'remember' about me?"

Toon Link paused. "I wouldn't really call it 'remembering'; I just have images in my head of the Great Sea: you captaining your ship with the rest of the crew…Niko bossing me around below deck…us taking on monsters like the Helmaroc King and Ganondorf…"

He frowned. Ganondorf? That couldn't be right. And why could he also see pictures of a grandmother and a little sister…all of which his intuition told him were his?

Tetra watched Toon Link for a moment, then decided to speak her mind. "There's something I have to tell you."

"What?"

"Those submarines that attacked the _Krystal_ back on Sony…Snake called them Bathyspheres. It was one of them that killed my old crew and set me and Niko adrift."

"Whoa…" Toon Link didn't know how to respond.

"I'm telling you this 'cause I have a feeling whatever drama that's got our planet all mixed up has been going on longer than we think…longer than the Copyright Wars, even."

Something odd occurred to Toon Link. "How long ago exactly _were_ the Copyright Wars?"

Tetra opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She shrugged. "No idea. Granted, _none_ of our memories seem to be working right. As far as I'm concerned, it could've been five years ago or fifty. Point is, whatever's stirring things up now, it's been around the entire planet and it's been here for a long time, and I think it's happening now for a reason. Something's changed—I dunno what."

"Master Hand." For some reason, the answer came out of Toon Link's mouth automatically. "We defeated Master Hand and Nightmare and Tabuu—the same guy three different times, actually."

"Hm." Tetra turned to face a large picture of an iconic battle: Trolls against elves; Kameo and her sister Kallus dueling against Thorn, the Troll King; casualties on each side bleeding out on the ground, tarnishing the Enchanted Kingdom's fairytale beauty.

"Well, kid, I hope this Princess Zelda you've talked about and all the other Nintendonian leaders are all they're cracked up to be. Because our worlds are about to collide…and it ain't gonna be pretty."

Toon Link looked at Tetra; for some reason, Zelda's name sounded strange on her lips. He saw the fear and pain hidden deep behind her hardened expression, and laid a hand gently on her shoulder. She didn't flinch or turn from the painting.

"We'll figure this out soon," he said. "I just know it."

* * *

Popo bounced up and down while seated on his bed, the third day having drawn to a close. Now that he'd had time to rejuvenate, he found himself with too much energy for his own good. He looked over at Ness and Roy, who were actually in bed (children could sleep longer than others, apparently).

"You guys ever think about home?"

No response. But he felt as if he would explode like a firework if he didn't do something, so he didn't give up.

"I wish Nana and I could go out tonight and climb Mountain #32 again. It was always a good day hike, and we never found out what happened to Reeka's Topi Bear after his mountain base was destroyed."

Ness groaned as the Ice Climber's bouncing continued to make that annoying jumping sound even though they weren't actual jumps. He could tell that he wouldn't be allowed to sleep until Popo received an adequate response.

"Why do you even wanna go climbing at night, anyway? The Icicle Mountains are like thirty below after dark."

Popo stopped bouncing and beamed. "I know; isn't it great?"

"Go to sleep," Roy mumbled through his covers, rolling over to face the bright-colored wall.

"Well, I miss Onett more than anything." Ness leaned back on his pillows with his hands behind his head, staring up at the equally bright-colored ceiling. "But I'm glad my friends and family aren't here. As hard as things used to be on Earth with Giygas and the Starmen, things around here always seem to be really messed up. And however crazy the galactic space pirate epidemic is, I'll bet Fox feels the same way."

"Yeah, I guess…" Popo finally yawned and lay down. He never used covers; being used to life in an ice cavern, it was never cold enough for him. "I sure hope he and the fleet are able to help us in time. It hasn't been this bad since Nightmare."

"Yeah…" Ness closed his eyes and tried not to think about their odds against Microsoft. Every time he did, he felt like he was experiencing a brand new nightmare—and he would rather the ones he'd already dreamed about Master Hand and Tabuu didn't have a sequel. But then again, he supposed it was far too late for that.

* * *

Meta Knight and Shadow the Hedgehog had found an advantageous spot on the roof of the castle's central tower from which they could see miles and miles of forest and lakes in every direction. But the only direction they were interested in was the east, for that was surely where the Master Chief would come from in his effort to catch them. They had taken to coming here every morning; although often content watching alone, on this particularly morning—the fourth day—they found themselves standing side by side, as if they'd felt a mutual stirring in the universe.

Meta Knight cast a sideward glance at the Sonian; he couldn't help but think about Shadow's journey from the darkness of Master Hand's service to his key role in the Smash Brothers' success.

"You have come a long way, have you not?"

Shadow wasn't the type for intimate, gushy therapy sessions, but this cloaked crusader had a pensive air about him that caused the hedgehog to open up…just a little. He laughed softly.

"I'd like to think so, but…"

"But what?"

"The Serans and the Spartans have been blaming the Copyright Wars on Nintendo and on us, over and over again. I remember enough to know that we were forced to help them take the islands from Nintendo…but what if we've been on the wrong side this whole time? What if we've forgotten terrible things that we once did to Microsoft that justifies their aggressive actions? 'Cause if that's the case, I guess I haven't come as far as I thought."

Meta Knight said nothing for at least a minute, considering his companion's words carefully.

"It is a good question you pose. Another good question is this: Are you a believer in the end justifying the means?"

"Yes," Shadow said. "If the situation calls for it."

"From my experience as a protector of the stars, when two different sides voice their opinions, they each represent extreme interpretations…and I have found the truth to lie somewhere between the two. So yes—I believe we may have committed some atrocities during these Copyright Wars…but I also know that war itself _is_ atrocity; there is no clean way out. And I know what kind of person I am, and what kind of people the Smash Brothers and you and your friends are. Thus, if we did indeed do deplorable things, I am certain we did so only to prevent something even more deplorable, that we did so because our integrity left us no better option."

"So you're saying we played the endgame." Shadow's fur rippled in the light morning breeze. His expression remained unconvinced, though a bit more relaxed.

"Perhaps. And this time, if we are to permanently win this game of chess…we must be willing to do the same, to make any sacrifice necessary to checkmate their king."

Shadow raised an eyebrow. "You mean force the Master Chief out of power?"

"I mean some of our pieces may have to make the ultimate sacrifice. And if the Chief is not their king, as I suspect, but their queen…then the queen may have to be beheaded."

Shadow nodded, comfortable with this fact. "It's time for these wars to end. And after all they've done to us…I don't care why we fought before. They're the ones who chose to prolong this war, and they deserve what's coming to them."

* * *

Captain Falcon and Samus Aran walked through the Enchanted Castle's courtyard, pausing occasionally to admire the diversity of colorful flowers and shrubs and trees, most of which they'd never seen before. It was like someone had put an entire section of forest through the tie-dye treatment, then quartered it off and set it aside like Dr. Seuss's private garden. The afternoon sun shone through the trees like a Hawaiian paradise.

They found a bench and sat down, their conversation not becoming hostile even once. _We've come a long way since Fourside_ , Falcon thought.

"But really," he went on, "you should consider entering in the race sometime, after all this craziness is over. From what you've told me about your experience on the Mute City course last year, I'll bet you'd make a pretty decent racer."

Samus had to resist rolling her eyes. "If your F-Zero Grand Prix is always filled with murderous bandit ambushes and kamikaze clones, I doubt I'd enjoy it much."

It was a fair point. That race had resulted in several racers exploding or being knocked off the track; Blood Falcon nearly smashing her suit into a crumpled aluminum soda can; and Metal Captain Falcon actually killing Dr. Stewart, one of his fellow racers and good friends. But of course, it was a fair point he couldn't concede. Not to this woman. Not ever.

"Even so," he said, placing a hand on hers—and to his astonishment, she didn't shake it off—"I'm pretty sure you could handle just about anything."

From his camouflaged position in the thick undergrowth, Snake had to lower his binoculars and swallow vomit back down his throat. He couldn't believe what that brainless bounty hunter had just said; he'd heard better pickup lines at middle school homecoming dances.

Then again, he could hardly believe _he_ was here, spying on them. It wasn't the spying in and of itself that felt strange; recon came as naturally to him as breathing. It was more the _why_ ; why did he care so much what those two Nintendonians did with each other?

But of course, deep down he knew why. He just hadn't felt like this since…well…since Meryl. He shifted his body ever so stealthily and raised his binoculars once more. But he did not like what he saw.

 _That's it._

Snake slunk back to the courtyard entrance and then strolled toward the two bounty hunters, pretending not to realize he was interrupting something.

"Falcon. Aran. Time for the meeting." He ignored the fact that the meeting wasn't for another three hours.

They stood up, Falcon somewhat awkwardly putting a reasonable distance between himself and Samus, whose expression was as cool as ever.

"Let's go, then," she said.

It was in that moment, when Captain Falcon and Solid Snake share one instantaneous, scathing look, that they both knew the game being played, and that sooner or later, one of them would have to lose.

* * *

 _"What are you doing?"_

Joanna's outcry came seconds too late; the Bang Beans Prince Peasley had planted in the Spartan gunship ignited, blowing it to pieces right on the balcony of the castle. The Beanish warrior laughed and tossed his lustrous golden hair.

"Are you certain that you are, in fact, a professional spy? This is elementary espionage, my fiery haired friend; and I haven't even been made privy to the fancy electric toys of This World. I am, however, familiar with Tracking Beans, and they emit the same pulsing light that I found on the underside of our stolen ship. You ought to be thanking me; I mean, really!"

Joanna couldn't believe she hadn't thought to check the gunship for tracking beacons—not thoroughly, at least. She'd been so caught up in the enchanting life of the castle, trying to cope with the loss of the Institute and recovering and planning, that she'd forgotten how smart the Spartans could be.

"I…sorry. You're right. The Microsians are likely on their way already. We've got to figure out our next step and get out of here…fast."

* * *

Kameo took the news surprisingly well.

"We've been expecting the Spartans to come for us soon, anyway," she said as they convened in the dining hall. "It was only a matter of time."

"I do not see this coming attack as the greatest problem," Meta Knight said. "The real problem is this: Without means of contacting the Smash Brothers, we have nowhere to go, no leads to follow. We have spoken of attacking the capital and agreed it to be foolhardy. We have discussed running recon missions to determine the extent of Microsoft's military strength, but their world is too vast for us to explore in any reasonable amount of time, and we have no means of transport."

Captain Falcon grinned. "Actually, the Falcon Flyer's already parked in the courtyard. We can take off whenever we want."

Everyone turned to stare at the bounty hunter.

"You knew that this whole time," Snake said, "and waited until _now_ to tell us?"

The captain shrugged. "Didn't want anyone messing around with it until we needed it."

"Whatever." Snake turned back to the elfin princess. "We need to evacuate your people ASAP. There's no telling what kinds of horrors the Chief is sending our way."

"I agree." Kameo took a deep breath, as if she'd been hoping not to have to say what came next. "But the truth is, our castle is the last sanctuary in the Microsoft World. We've nowhere to go. Unless you can find a way to contact your friends fast, we'll be wandering through the wilderness until they catch us."

Finally, a solution presented itself. And it presented itself in the form of a blue felt object that Sackboy lifted up to them, small buttons sown onto the box-shaped device like, well, buttons. It even had a small square piece of glass on top that looked suspiciously like a screen. He handed it to Captain Falcon, who inspected it and tested one of the buttons, causing the screen to glow and offer a list of options, including a comprehensive contact list of all the Smash Brothers.

Snake considered repeating the complaint he'd issued against Captain Falcon, only against Sackboy this time, but thought better of it.

"Now we're talking."

Falcon selected Gadd's contact and made the call. For several dreadful seconds it rang…and then, with no response, it went to the professor's voicemail.

"You've reached the number of Elvin Gadd; that's me! If you're not a paranormal apparition bent on revenge, please leave your name and a message and I'll get back to you in a jiff. Bye!"

Falcon stared at the device in dismay. "Well, so much for—"

It began vibrating and playing a cheery vibraphone ringtone. He answered it, and suddenly Gadd's blue projection materialized on the communicator.

"Sorry about that; I had to wash some chemicals off my hands after I—GADZOOKS! You found us!" He took in the gathered Smash Brothers, Sonians, and elves and broke out in a smile so wide that it was almost painful to watch.

"No crap, Craniac." Falco shoved his way forward so that he was in front of the projection. Then he grinned. "It's good to see ya, professor."

"My, my." Gadd's gaze paused particularly long on the Sonians and Microsians he was unfamiliar with. "I have about a thousand questions to ask; are all of you all right?"

"We're good," Falcon said. "'Cept for Conker and Niko, but I'm sure you've heard all about what happened at Candy Chateau by now."

For the next two hours, Falcon and the others caught Gadd up on all that had happened since they'd lost their communicators on the Seran battleship. The leader of the Smash Brothers, in turn, updated them on the events in ATARI, Timber's Island, and the Isle o' Hags. It was a long but much-needed reunion, and those who had been separated from their native Nintendo for so long couldn't help but feel a wonderful mixture of elation and relief as the pieces of their story were, at last, beginning to come together.

"Now, I know you all will want to be seeing your friends who are here on the Ark with me," Gadd said, noticing Diddy, who had been about to ask after his island friends. "But first things first. How can we get you and the people of the Enchanted Kingdom to safety?"

"That's just it," Joanna said. "You can't. Not without attracting the Spartans to yourselves and to us like fruit flies to a rotten peach. We'll join you in your war when the time comes, but until then…we need a mission, somewhere to go and make the most of our unique position behind the enemy lines."

Gadd nodded and stroked his chin. "Alrighty, then. Let's see, here…" he snapped his finger. "I've got just the thing! We have a new friend for you to meet."

It took a couple minutes to assuage Joanna and Kameo's natural distrust of Ryu, but once Gadd had sufficiently explained how the ninja had come to the decision to help them stop Master Chief, they offered no further objections—none that they made verbal, at least.

Ryu's hologram stood beside Gadd's.

"If you are going to defeat the Master Chief, you must deal with his allies, two of which are particularly dangerous: The Great Moon Deity and the scientist Reeka."

"And how exactly do we do that?" Tetra said.

"You must go to the Deity's palace. It is hidden in the mountains of Vigoor, not far from the Pit of Obaba, where sacrifices are made to appease the Deity. There you will find Reeka and destroy his machine before it is too late."

"Machine?" Snake furrowed his brow. "What machine?"

"The machine that will mean the end for the Nintendo World. Reeka has been gathering materials from around the planet to create a subterranean bomb—a bomb that will sink your continent into the depths of the sea."

Ryu's stunning revelation left everyone speechless for a long moment. Gadd could barely believe it. Sink the entire continent! He could hardly see how that was possible, although it would explain why his cousin had been working on the Metal Gear from Shadow Moses Island, harvesting rocket fuel from Atari, and stealing the geological maps of the Nintendo World. It would be the ultimate revenge—to destroy everything Gadd and the Smash Brothers had worked for.

"Is this bomb in the form of a missile?"

Ryu shook his head. "It is already in place—under the ocean along the coast of what you call the Kongo Jungle."

"Seriously?" Diddy's expression resembled the one he'd had when he learned he was going to face the Shadow Queen in the Fourside Colosseum Tournament.

"But that's impossible," Samus said. "Even if he detonated a bomb all along that southwestern corner of the mainland, there's no way it would sink even the jungle, let alone the entire continent."

"That is where you're wrong, space warrior." Ryu's hologram peered out at her like one who had just won a fight but hadn't enjoyed it one bit. "From what the Master Chief has told me, Reeka's genius goes far beyond the explosives themselves. He has studied the bedrock beneath the Nintendo World and found that if he blasts certain spots with enough force, it will create a vacuum into a giant cavity that sits under your land, submerging it like a macrocosmic Atlantis. The bomb near the Kongo Jungle will set off a chain reaction around the entire perimeter—"

"—causing the Nintendo World to collapse in on itself like an eggless sponge cake in a bowl of milk," Gadd finished, horrified.

"Does anyone besides me think the metaphors around here are getting just a _little_ out of control?" Roy commented.

"We can't let that happen," Yoshi said, thinking particularly of his tribe on Yoshi's Island. Surely such a massive catastrophe would destroy the surrounding islands as well. "We have to get to this palace before it's too late!"

"There's one thing I don't understand," Popo said. "If the bomb's already surrounding Nintendo, how will finding Reeka here do us any good?"

"Remote control," Gadd said succinctly. "My cousin was never one to just destroy things matter-of-factly. He'll want to dramatize it as much possible, and I'd bet my last two front teeth that he's hoping some of us try and stop him, just so he can capitalize on our suffering."

"We have no choice at this point," Snake said. "We must go. We must try."

"But…" Ness was always timid to voice his suggestions in front of a large group of highly qualified people. "Wouldn't it be smart to send someone to find the bomb and destroy it manually? Just in case?"

Gadd and Ryu glanced at each other.

"Right you are, Ness," Gadd said. "A contingency plan would help ensure that at least one of us succeeds and prevents this cataclysm. I shall speak with Bomberman about organizing a squad to return to Kongo Jungle and do a little scuba diving." He glanced at his watch. "But enough of that for now. You all need to get yourselves out of there and begin heading toward Vigoor before Master Chief and his goons find you. Then, once you're safely en route, we'll talk again."

"Right. See you soon, professor." Captain Falcon nodded at the hologram and ended the call, leaving the group of heroes in an awkward silence.

"Let's get on with it, then," Shadow said, his impatience spurring them into action. They had an evacuation to carry out.

* * *

Princess Peach couldn't pretend not to admire the beauty of Atari Island, even though she and the rest were all on their way to war. With Perry shading her from the sun, she and Toadsworth watched as the forces of Sony organized themselves either on the beach or just offshore (there were far too many of them to fit on land without getting scrambled amidst the palm trees further inland).

It was almost too much to take in. The last time they'd seen an army this size was on the Battlefields. Sony's armies numbered about 8,000 in all, which was a bit smaller than Nintendo's had once been at full strength, but combined with Nintendo and Atari, together they would make a formidable force.

Not all 8,000 Sonians were out in the open, of course; most of them were contained within a number of vessels. Chief among them were scores of sleek cobalt transports from Megaland, carrying not just Robot Masters and other standardized robots, but a colorful mix of fighters from other Sonian regions, though Peach had a hard time keeping them all straight, and without a visual aid she couldn't recall the rest.

She figured most of Mobius's fighters were in one transport or another, although Tails's bright red biplane, _Tornado_ , stood out among the rest, drifting above the ocean in lazy circles.

The amber X-Wing-like jet called _Aphelion_ , property of Ratchet and Clank, executed a much more complicated maneuver, rotating and twisting upside-down and curving around other ships like construction cones on an advanced Driver's Ed course. To be fair, _Aphelion_ was certainly a ship worth boasting about, although from Tails's perspective, their ally's antics seemed a bit over the top.

Some 200 similar jets (though not nearly as impressive), hailing from Veldin or other closely associated systems, featured an assortment of colors and designs, some wider and built as bombers, others created with the sole purpose of streaking through enemy lines like arrows, all of them piloted by humanoid beings who mostly resembled fish or other sea creatures.

Peach recalled that the raccoon thief, Sly Cooper, along with a few of his associates, was also stashed away in the cobalt transports.

Jak and Daxter stood at the prow of the _Phantom Blade_ , which had long since been repaired from the damages it had sustained on DK Isle during the Copyright Wars. A motley crew of sky pirates manned the deck and the wheel, and surrounding the ship was the fleet of the Freedom League—the leaders of the liberated Haven City. These numbered several hundred and included ships ranging from molar-shaped HellCats to twin-engined Sky Raiders; from triangular Bombers to multi-missile-bearing Jaguars. Though their technology didn't quite compare to the Spartans', they were not a force to be trifled with.

Fire, Ice, Thunder, and Earth—each elemental dragon was present among the flock of creatures in its hundreds, combining to form a veritable legion of element-spewing serpents. Spyro flew at their head, his slight overconfidence nevertheless making him a strong leader, representing the Dragon Elders with pride.

At the sight of Spyro, Princess Peach also remembered that the dragon's good friend, Crash Bandicoot, was here as well with many of his animal friends, all of them most likely gathered in one of the Megalandian transports.

And then there was the Glade of Dreams, with its armada of traditional wooden juggernauts—that is, they would have been traditional had they not been attached to huge balloons like blimps. The giant frogs known as Glutes (after the manner of Globox) appeared to be doing most of the grunt work operating the vessels, but the ships were also occupied by thousands of Electoons (to Peach, they looked like pink cherries with too much energy for their own good), Lums (winged Lemon Drops with equally erratic behavior), and Teensies (quaint turquoise creatures with candy corn-shaped heads and a strong sense of fashion). Peach thought she could make out Rayman and Globox themselves on one of the ships that happened to be grounded on the beach. The uninhibited energy coming from it was almost tangible.

Finally, although Sackboy himself was conspicuously absent from the Atari gathering (along with Megaman and Solid Snake), his native Craftworld was not. A throng of sackcloth puppets was congregated on what looked like battleship-sized origami boats (though Peach trusted that they were surely more durable that paper). Many of them were generic and resembled Sackboy in one way or another, except decorated in countless outfits—pirates, zombies, rock stars, football players…almost anything imaginable. A few of them stood out as the apparent leaders: the burly puppet Toggle; the bird puppet Swoop; and the literal sock puppet Oddsock, all of them with black button eyes and pipe cleaners or fabric or other textile materials making up their bodies. One had the appearance of a small man made of cardboard with cheap 3-D sunglasses and newspaper strips forming a sort of paper beard. Larry Da Vinci, leader of the Alliance that had originally opposed Negativitron, was matched in uniqueness only by the Creator Curators—powerful Craftworldian builders who took the form of elaborate arts-and-craft projects such as a googly-eyed king or a pigeon-feathered angel or a medieval horse with refrigerator magnet hooves. The colorful diversity just about gave Toadsworth a migraine.

It was while she beheld such a grand army, however, that Peach felt most painfully conscious about those who were not here—where she had failed. She turned to her lifetime advisor and guardian.

"I wish the Strangerealeans had agreed to come…."

Toadsworth guffawed. "Do forgive me, Your Highness; but I do believe congratulations, not regrets, are in order. You have almost single-handedly unified every region of the Sony World—except for the Destiny Islands, which are deserted, and Strangereal, which is clearly too self-centered to do anything other than attend to its own trivial matters."

"Yes, I suppose you're right…" Peach watched Globox run gleefully away from Rayman after having slapped him in the face. "All the same, I do hope we can settle this conflict with as little bloodshed as possible; and the stronger we are, the lower that body count will be." _Unless, of course, we lose,_ she thought to herself.

"Hey! Princess!" Perry said brightly from above her. She lowered the parasol to be able to see him face to fabric. "I think you've gotta remember what we've already accomplished. I mean, think about it. Looking at the professor's map, the Microsoft World doesn't seem all that big, and it'll be the rest of the world against a few evil generals. There's no way we'll lose, even if their tech's a little better than ours. The Smash Brothers beat Master Hand's millions; beating Master Chief's thousands'll be a piece of cake!"

Peach was about to respond when her communicator vibrated in one of her dress's obscure pockets. She took it out and looked up at her two friends.

"It's time."

* * *

Those who had recently reached Atari Island found a large outcropping of boulders that would serve as a circle around which they could commune with the holograms being projected from Peach's communicator in the center. Forming the council were Peach, Perry, and Toadsworth; Sonic; Tails; Knuckles; Amy; Tikal; Tiny Kong; Megaman's dark-armored friend, Bass; Ratchet and Clank; Sly Cooper; Jak and Daxter; Spyro; Crash Bandicoot; Rayman; and the small cardboard-newspaper man, Larry Da Vinci.

The holograms in the middle gave a general idea of the layout of the WarioWare Ark's command bridge, with its occupants seated in swivel chairs around Gadd's own communicator, placed in the center like Peach's for all to see and hear. The Ark passengers present included Gadd; L.O.G.; Dr. Clash; Jody Summer; Wario; Bowser; King Dedede; Kirby; Mario; Luigi; the Chestnut King; DK; Pit; Link; Zelda; Marth; Princess Nyna; Gotoh; Gary; Mewtwo; Mr. Game & Watch; Nana; Red; Banjo & Kazooie; Master Jiggywiggy; Megaman; Rocketman; Pacman; Bomberman; and even Ryu Hayabusa.

It was a big meeting. Fifty strong—even larger than the war council that preceded the assault on the Battlefields, which made sense considering the fact that about three-quarters of the planet were represented.

"Thank you all for being here," Gadd said. "Thank you for all that you have done, and all you continue to do to see us through these turbulent times. If all goes well, we shall soon be free from the wars that have so long plagued our worlds." He went on to describe what had been going on with their friends who had been captured by Microsoft: their escape and their current mission to stop Professor U. Reeka's plot. He also summarized the Battle of the Isle o' Hags for the benefit of the Sonian party. After he was finished, he nodded to Princess Peach.

Peach spoke, timidly at first but with increasing confidence, of the efforts made in Sony to gather all the strength they could muster. She spoke sadly of her journey to Strangereal, where she was met at the border by armed air force pilots. They contacted their government leaders, who bluntly told her that they would have nothing to do with any external war, that they had suffered too many losses as it was. Peach had tried to negotiate, but she had been cut off and sent away.

"You have to understand, Princess Peach," Megaman said. "Strangereal lost two of its best heroes during the Copyright Wars by brutal means: sacrifice to a Vigoorian demon. They are doing what seems right by them, and it is right for us to respect that."

Peach nodded. "I agree."

Bass took over and gave a report on the exact contents of the Sonian forces. From there, various technical matters were discussed, such as weapons and armor; foodstuffs and medical supplies; vehicles and shield systems. Finally, they got around to perhaps the most important part of the meeting: war strategy.

"After extensive discussion with Ryu," Gadd said, "I believe we can trust his help. And we have devised a plan to not only stop Master Chief's invasions, but put an end to his corrupt rule and that of any other corrupt Microsian leaders; to liberate the remaining regions of RareWare origin from occupation; and to prevent my cousin's cataclysmic machine from performing its deadly work."

He caused yet another projection to form, this time above all of them: It was a translucent blue map of the Microsoft World. Three spots were flagged by flashing yellow circles: one off the coast of the northwest corner; another in the northeast; and the last in the southwest. "We've decided how our forces will be split up, and it will be on three—technically four—fronts. One division will attack Microsoft's sea base in the underwater city of Rapture to meet their navy and their subs head-on. Another will launch an assault on Reach, specifically targeting the capital city of New Alexandria where we hope to take down the Master Chief. Our friends in the Enchanted Kingdom will infiltrate the palace of the Moon Deity in Vigoor, where they will put an end to Professor U. Reeka's plot and, hopefully, deal with this supposed deity that has had Microsoft under its thumb all this time."

The map zoomed out to include the Nintendo World as well, where another spot was marked on the corner of the Kongo Jungle. "Finally, the last group will find and disable my cousin's underwater device back in Nintendo as an added measure in case Reeka himself isn't stopped in time. Further details on all these divisions will be forthcoming, but we have selected Bomberman and Link to head this prerogative."

The two heroes glanced at each other and nodded; if they had any objections to this plan, they didn't show it. That was King Dedede's job.

"I hate to rain on y'all's parade," he said, "but how're these fellas gonna get themselves all the way back to Nintendo in time to do us any good? Maybe our buddies in Atari'll have time to get over here before the party's over, but it'll take a mighty long time for these cowboys to get back—even if they fly in one of them there rocket ships."

At this, Gadd looked sheepish. "A very good point. That's one of the kinks we haven't quite ironed out yet." He looked out at the assembled Sonians and Smash Brothers. "Any suggestions? We do need these two and their party to reach the Kongo Jungle at least within a couple days; otherwise, they'll be unlikely to make any difference one way or the other."

Unexpectedly, Pit spoke up, remembering the conversations he'd had with Quill about the Great Sea—the magic; the wind gods Zephos and Cyclos who might look silly, being giant frogs riding on clouds, but who wielded great power; and the Hero of the Winds who, with a very special instrument, was able to control that power. He also knew of what had been happening to the crew of _The King's Krystal_ on its journey to Sony, and somehow he was able to put the two together.

"I think I know a way," he said. "But we'll have to call Captain Tetra's crew in Microsoft…and we'll need the other Link."


	19. Chapter 15: Agent Alpha (1)

Chapter 15: Agent Alpha

* * *

" _ **Y**_ ou mean to tell me," Toon Link said from within the Falcon Flyer, "that this whole time I've had a magic wand that can take me wherever I want?"

"Quill called it the Wind Waker," Pit's hologram said, "but yeah. He said the Hero of the Winds—that's you, apparently—just has to play a little melody called the Ballad of Gales, and the wind'll take you wherever you need to go."

Toon Link took a second to process this. "So this is different from Farore's Wind how, exactly?"

"Zelda says Farore's Wind is limited to whoever's in direct contact with the caster…whereas this is supposed to be able to transport a large group by virtue of its…uh… _nature._ "

The Hero of the Winds shrugged. "Now that you mention it, this is all starting to ring some bells. So what's the plan? Am I going alone to the Isle o' Hags to pick up Link and the others, and then from there to Kongo Jungle?"

"Pretty much," Pit said, then appeared to remember something. "Except, the professor says if any of your group wants to bail out of Microsoft now, they're welcome to. It's gonna get ugly on our front, and we could use all the help you can spare."

The passengers of the Flyer glanced at each other, taken aback by this unexpected opportunity to escape. Could it really be that easy?

"Maybe a couple of you can go with the kid," Joanna said, "but I don't want us to end up shorthanded when we invade the Moon Deity's palace; we have no idea what might be awaiting us in there."

Tetra frowned. There were almost a thousand camouflaged elves from the Enchanted Kingdom flying in a close formation behind the Falcon Flyer, and to be perfectly honest, she was getting sick of spending so much time on land—not counting her imprisonment on the Seran battleship.

"I'll go with Link; the sea's my natural habitat, and since it sounds like you Smash Brothers will be attacking from the ocean, I think I'll be of more help there than here."

"I'll come, too," Popo said. "Nana and I will fight better as a team."

Pit nodded. "Anyone else?" He looked pointedly at Diddy Kong. "You want to join up with your girlfriend and family, and your friends from Timber's Island?"

Diddy was about to say yes, but then paused. He couldn't quite explain why, but something told him he needed to be at this Moon Deity's palace. Something told him he was connected to all of this in some way….

He shook his head. "I'm good."

"Okay, then." Pit just stood there for an awkward moment, having nothing else to say. "See you in a bit, then." The hologram disappeared and Sackboy's artificial communicator shut off.

"Well, if there's a bomb poised to sink your mainland, there's no point in keeping them waiting," Tetra said. She fixed Toon Link with a stern look. "You _do_ have this Wind Waker with you, right?"

"Uh…" Toon Link patted his sides, pulling out a number of bottles, rupees, Deku Nuts, and other assorted items and weapons. He even had a giant leaf stashed down there somewhere. Go figure.

He was starting to panic when at last he found it: a silver conductor's baton with an ornate spiraling handle. The Wind Waker. Now the real question was…could he use it?

Tetra and Popo moved next to him while the rest of the passengers made a point of keeping their distance—which was difficult, considering the Falcon Flyer was packed enough as it was.  
Captain Falcon glanced back at them from the pilot's seat. "Hey, kid, I don't know what kind of voodoo you're cookin' up back there, but if it has to do with some kind of wind teleportation, I vote we stop and let you do it outside. I've already lost the Flyer once—to those Starman punks—and I don't want it to happen again."

Once they were all grounded, the three travelers stood apart from the rest. Toon Link raised the Wind Waker tentatively, trying to ignore the scrutinizing eyes of not just the Flyer's passengers, but the hundreds of invisible Elves who were mostly circling above them, waiting for the caravan to continue.

He gulped. What was the tune? The Ballad of Gales….

It came to him as organically as the muscle memory of his slingshot. He closed his eyes and waved it gracefully—down…right…left…up….

An ethereal choir of wind voices echoed around them, singing the melody with an enthralling beauty and resonance as the wind began to whip around the trio with a sort of unseen sentience.

It twisted and spun, blowing through the emerald grass of the southern Enchanted Kingdom and through the hair and fur of the assembled heroes. The gentle gust soon became a raging whirlwind, which tore up leaves and dirt and blades of grass, and then, before they knew it, Toon Link, Tetra, and Popo were lifted into the center of the small tornado and borne away into the distance at a godly speed.

* * *

The whirlwind deposited them precisely at the base of Spiral Mountain, next to the colossal WarioWare Ark. A delighted Elvin Gadd along with a number of others awaited them.

Toon Link wobbled on his feet, having to blink several times to adjust to his new environment. This rather questionable mode of travel had rattled him, to be sure…but not as much as he'd expected. It felt familiar, like a horse he hadn't ridden for years. Like the young colt Epona who had grown up and served the other Link well, but had been slaughtered last year by Metal Link….

He realized the group gathered around him was larger than he'd expected. There was the professor, and his older self and Princess Zelda, and…was that Princess Ruto?...and a whole bunch of other Zoras, and Bomberman, and the Chestnut King with some of his Wafflites, and a colorful group of sapling-headed Delfinians.

How many Nintendonians would this bomb-defusing mission take?

"Popo!" Nana burst from the crowd and flung herself into her brother's arms. "I'm so happy you're okay."

Popo smiled. "Me, too."

Meanwhile, the older Link and Princess Zelda approached Toon Link. The former punched his younger self on the shoulder.

"Love the new look."

By this point, Toon Link couldn't care less whether people thought his cartoonish appearance was the greatest thing ever or the worst fashion decision since Ganondorf's hairdo. "And you guys look…exactly the same."

"It's good to see you," Zelda said neutrally, not too keen on getting involved in Link's self-bickering. "You have grown with your recent experiences; I can tell."

"Fabulous," Gadd said. "I hate to cut your reunion short, fellas, but we've got ourselves a serious crisis on our hands. Those who've agreed to return to the Kongo Jungle—prepare for departure. There'll be plenty of time for merrymaking once there's not a planet-shattering bomb hanging over our heads."

"So I get that we need to stop this bomb," Toon Link said, looking over the gathered Smash Brothers again. "But I don't get why there's so many of us going back."

"Well," Gadd said, "First off, if I've learned anything about Ulysses over my lifetime, it's that he's always devious enough to have a contingency plan. I'd be bumfuzzled if there weren't some kind of nasty surprise awaiting those who try to stop his machine. I'm hoping the extra reinforcements will help with that.

"And secondly, as I told DK after the Battle of Dreamland, I'm afraid not all of us are exactly fit to fight Microsoft—simply because our weapons and technology are so far behind theirs. I'm particularly concerned for our friends in Hyrule, the Outer Islands, and other less technologically advanced kingdoms, so I feel they will be of better use to us on the home front. Any other questions?"

There were none.

Gadd nodded. "Very good. As for the details of your mission, Bomberman will provide you all with everything you need to know to help him reach the point where, hopefully, he'll be able to defuse or destroy the device. Those who cannot breathe underwater—which I guess is most of you—will be provided with special diving gear. Should anything go wrong in Microsoft with Reeka, we'll notify you right away and ensure you get out safely. Good luck, Smash Brothers; may whatever divine powers you venerate guide you and the rest of us through these trying times."

And that was that. The Ice Climbers, Gadd, and everyone else who wasn't accompanying the "Bomb Squad" (as they were so aptly coined by Tetra, who was staying with the Ark as well) gave Toon Link a wide berth as he began waving the Wind Waker once more.

The invisible currents rushed through the trees and over Spiral Mountain, howling and stirring up the recent battleground like restless spirits of the dead. The Zoras and Piantas and Wafflites tried not to freak out as every natural law they knew was either broken or called into serious question as a result of this incredible phenomenon.

From within the whirlwind, Toon Link and the others waved to Gadd and the rest of the Smash Brothers as the Ballad of Gales serenaded them into the sky like leaves in the breeze. He hoped wherever they landed wasn't near a steep cliff or something, because he knew he'd be just as dizzy after this jaunt as the last one.

* * *

The shore of the Kongo Jungle was remarkably peaceful, giving no hint at any sort of dark power lying in the ocean's watery depths, like a child feigning innocence when in reality he'd left the bathtub running for several hours. Banana Birds and parrots fluttered and squawked from within the dense jungle, though the deeper animalic sounds gave the newcomers pause as to whether they'd prefer to dive down toward a continent-sinking explosive or wander into such a wild habitat.

Yet to Young Link, it was almost weirder just knowing that he was back in the Nintendo World after all this time. Had it really only been a month or two? It felt like years—decades, even. But to his relief, his musings were distracted by the discovery that they were not alone on this beach.

"Hey, you guys. Welcome back!" Floating to shore on her beautiful Lapras, April—sister of Red, daughter of Quentin and Delia, and significant other of Luigi—climbed down and approached them.

There weren't many with her. The vast majority of the Pokémon had accompanied the Ark to the islands of RareWare. There were, however, a modest gathering of Water Pokémon: a few Sharpedo here; a cluster of Horsea there; a Dewgong rolling onto its back as if to bathe its pearly white skin in the sun; a Tentacruel's massive crown poking ominously above the surface a bit farther out. But still, it was something.

Bomberman came up and began gesticulating with his arms in excitement, pointing to the water at times and out toward Microsoft or toward themselves at others. After a solid minute of this, the baffled listeners were left in silence.

And then, of all people to understand Bomberman's special breed of sign language….

"He says we should probably get going if we don't want to blow up," Princess Ruto said matter-of-factly, her hands/flippers on her hips.

Link couldn't have looked more surprised if he had come home to find Hyrule Castle filled to the ceiling with mutinous Cuccos. "How in the world do you understand him?"

She shrugged, throwing Zelda a haughty look. "It's a gift, naturally."

* * *

The WarioWare Ark rose reluctantly into the air, as if it had begun to develop an affinity for the Isle o' Hags. Wario's butt felt just about the same concerning the matter.

Everyone had gathered into the Ark with the exception of the air- and sea-based Pokémon, who preferred to remain in their natural element. Now that they were on their way to what was presumably their final destination (or, at least, final continent), tensions were high. It would not be long now before they would all discover whether this endeavor had been in vain or not.

The journey took a day and a half, but it felt unfairly shorter than that—as if time was working against them to give the Smash Brothers as little time to prepare as possible. Furthermore, they had no idea how far out Microsoft's defenses would be patrolling from their mainland, and surely by this point the Nintendonians were expected to come. The element of surprise that gave them an advantage on the Isle o' Hags (sort of) would not be there to help them this time.

Gadd anxiously watched as the endless sea scrolled below them, with Dr. Clash, L.O.G., and Ryu standing at his side. Unlike in the War of the Hands, he wouldn't be able to be as directly involved in the action this time; his hovercraft, handy as it was, wouldn't last a minute in a crossfire of bullets and lasers. He'd be about as safe as a turkey on Thanksgiving.

"Do you really think we stand a chance, professor?" The F-Zero inventor asked.

But L.O.G. was the one to respond. "Logically speaking…no. However, recent events have proven my extrapolation software less than 100 percent accurate when certain unpredictable factors come into play. You Smash Brothers seem to have friends in both high and low places—many of whom the Master Chief tends to underestimate."

"So what are you saying?" Gadd said.

L.O.G.'s Pong bars blinked. "The more variables you introduce into this war, the higher the probability that, by some statistical fluke, we may manage to win yet."

"Hey…Four-Eyes!"

Wario diverted their attention as he pointed out across the ocean.

A long strip of darkness clinging to the horizon, with innumerable dark specks arrayed on the water between them.

They had reached Microsoft.

* * *

"What is that—a flying eggplant?"

Marcus Fenix handed his binoculars over to his comrade, Dominic Santiago, as they stood at the head of their chief battleship, the _S.S. Jacinto._ He couldn't believe the Nintendonians were coming at them with nothing but a giant blimp and a few oversized birds and fish. He'd been on the Ark itself, and sure, it was nothing to scoff at, but after all they'd been through, he'd expected more. Particularly with the dozens of other battleships beside and behind them, guns and canons ready to fire; several aircraft carriers loaded with the Serans' own special brand of gunships; the array of Spartan gunships poised above them like hawks; the Pandoran mercenaries in their brown bean-shaped vessels; and, well, the surprise they had waiting for the invaders underwater. He felt certain there was no way their enemy could know the Microsians were stationed directly above the submerged city of Rapture—and yet, how had the Nintendonians managed to take such a direct route to Microsoft in the first place?

"We'd best take this seriously, Fenix. I don't think the Chief will have a very long list of acceptable excuses for losing this one."

Fenix laughed and cocked his Lancer, revving the chainsaw on the end. "Don't sweat it, Dominic. They caught us by surprise last time; now it's our turn. Even if they could somehow match our men—which they can't—there's nothing a little Hammer of Dawn medicine won't fix."

Dominic peered through the binoculars at the swarm of Pokémon surrounding the Ark. For some reason, the usual excitement he felt at the prospect of battle had diminished somewhat—replaced with a strange sense of dissatisfaction.

"I guess we're about to find out."

* * *

With just one massive ship to take on the Microsian fleet, the Smash Brothers readied every flying vessel at their disposal. Those who had the means to fly—naturally or otherwise—congregated at the various deployment hatches around the base of the Ark through which they would jump into the heat of battle. At the head of these were seven of the Smashers who had accompanied the rest from Nintendo (minus Link and Zelda)—as well as the four others who had joined them during the Battle of the Isle o' Hags (five if you counted both Popo and Nana).

As promised, Dr. Clash's custom-made F-Zero racers were modified and prepped to suit each of the Smashers. He had even come prepared with racers for Game & Watch, the Ice Climbers, Pikachu, and Jigglypuff, who hadn't initially been on the Ark but would benefit from a battle vehicle as much as anyone.

There was Mario's Red Blaze; Luigi's Poltergust 5000; Bowser's Shell Shocker; DK's Banana Blaster; Marth's Reckoner; Kirby's Hyper Star; and Mewtwo's Psywave (which, against all odds, he'd finally consented to use—at least to start out). And then for the four others: Mr. Game & Watch's Black Buggy; the Ice Climbers' jagged-iced Freezoomer; Pikachu's lightning bolt-shaped Zap Cannon; and Jigglypuff's bubbly pink Rollout Royce.

Time seemed to slow down to a terrible crawl as Luigi felt his racer tilt down, the hatch sliding open to allow a torrent of salty air to buffet the Poltergust 5000. And then, before he could change his mind, he and the Smash Brothers with him began pouring out.

He was accompanied by a host of Beanish warriors flying on Bean Pods and armed with explosive Bang Beans. If he hadn't been so preoccupied with the terrifying sensation of dropping toward an ocean covered in hostile battleships, he might have noticed others exiting from other hatches beneath the Ark: the seven remaining Timber's Island racers, piloting their small, brightly colored planes and armed with small red missiles and spiky green mines; Master Jiggywiggy and the Jinjos flowing toward the opposition with the gold-and-rainbow sparkles of the Jiggies' power and the Jinjos' magic; Bottles, Jam-Jars, and Humba Wumba piloting small planes of their own, which they'd once used in a tournament of flying races on the Isle o' Hags, armed with pellet-like bullets.

He also might have beheld the kaleidoscopic descent of the Atarian fighters—Rocketman; Pacman and his ghostly entourage; Defenders and Slot Racers; Sub Hunters (both in the air and underwater); Centipedes; and Galaga swarming down toward the gunships and battleships below.

Extra points might have been awarded if he'd considered the onslaught of Pokémon striking from land and sea, colliding with the first wave of missiles and bullets and lasers. Three trainers led the pack, with Red riding a friendly Mantine alongside his own Water Pokémon, Slowbro (who, despite its name, could more or less keep up with the pack, especially when it was pushed along from within); Gary, clinging to his fluttering Scyther; and Quentin floating beside his Gardevoir in her lavender bubble.

In fact, had he paid extra special attention, Luigi might even have been aware of the other Smashers in their souped-up racers—as well as a few heroes going solo, such as Pit dive-bombing with his angel wings; Jody Summer speeding down in her own modified racer, the White Cat; Megaman hanging from his bird friend, Beat, while firing laser pellets from his arm cannon; and Banjo & Kazooie soaring in a downward-angled Beak Bomb.

But, of course, he couldn't possibly have been expected to look back and see the contributions of the rest of the Smash Brothers, all of whom had no means of flying or swimming into battle. Those who remained on the Ark either fired projectiles from various windows and balconies (such as Gotoh's mages with their magic bursts, or Yoshis with their eggs, or Gorons and Hylians with boulders and small bombs, or Dedede with his hailstorm of Gordos, or Bowser's Hammer Bros and Magikoopa and Bullet and Banzai Bills), or they manned the hundreds of guns from within the safety of the steel vessel (Toads and Dreamlanders and Akaneian soldiers and Mute City residents). It was an artificial apocalypse of sorts.

Luigi yelped as he swerved and narrowly dodged a laser from one of the Spartan gunships. He gripped the controls of the Poltergust 5000 and, having no real idea what it was capable of, started pressing buttons. Without warning, a jet of fire propelled him forward at an inordinate speed, while another jet of icy mist shot out the front. He found himself heading straight toward the gunship's laser, which was swerving to point at him once more. But before the turret could return fire, the ice froze the nozzle solid, and Luigi's racer crashed through it, taking the turret with him as he struggled to regain control.

This would be one heck of a ride.

* * *

Kirby's Hyper Star stuck close to the water, swerving around battleships as he clipped soldiers and the occasion big gun, severing the weapon's cannon from its roost. He moved so fast that the water beneath him formed a wake, as if he were a motorboat actually cutting across the surface.

Suddenly, a Bathysphere rose from the ocean in front of him, nicking the Hyper Star and causing him to tumble off of it and plummet into the water. He rose back up, gasping, only to witness many other Bathyspheres rise from the depths, launching torpedoes at the invading Smash Brothers. And then...he was dragged under.

He struggled for breath, but only bubbles came out as vice-like arms covered in rotting flesh pulled him deeper, deeper underwater. And it wasn't just one pair; many sickly green zombie-like hands tugged and grasped at the puffball, rendering his natural buoyance useless against the rabid mob of Splicers. They shrieked like angry sirens, while Kirby could only warble weakly as at length, the sun shining through the veil of water faded into darkness above, and his captors pulled him into a very, very different world.

The submerged city of Rapture glowed like a bioluminescent dystopian Chicago. Thousands of Splicers and scores of Big Daddies swam past him, many contained in more Bathyspheres, toward the battle on the surface. Kirby might have actually been able to appreciate the city's ghostly lit skyscrapers and verdant seaweed stalks tangled throughout—had he not been drowning, turning blue, his brain screaming for air. If he could just…

A man with dark hair stroked up to meet him, dressed in street clothes yet somehow unburdened by the water pressure and lack of oxygen. The other unusual thing about him was the yellow glow in his eyes, as if he were possessed with some ethereal power. Which, in fact, he was.

 _"You Smash Brothers made a grave mistake attacking us,"_ Jack Wynand, one of the Microsian Sentinels, conveyed to Kirby with his mind. _"We cannot allow trespassers to breach our city without consequences…"_

Several Splicers brought up an open Big Daddy suit for Jack. He slid inside, first pulling his limbs through the thick diving suit, then pushing his head into the monstrous helmet, the "eyes" glowing the same yellow of the chemical ADAM that was the source of both the Splicers' and Big Daddies' power. His drill arm revved as he began moving toward Kirby's helpless body.

Kirby ceased struggling, eyeing the drill with resignation. This would be the end—as if the water wasn't about to kill him anyway.

A barrage of pixelated torpedoes began blasting into the horde of Splicers, immediately absorbing the mutants' attention and causing those holding Kirby to release their grip and begin swimming toward the attacking Sub Hunters. The Atarian vessels were accompanied by ink-spitting Bloopers, charging Cheep Cheeps, and a variety of Water Pokémon.

With the last of his conscious energy, Kirby took advantage of the distraction by inhaling the nearest Splicer, swallowing it whole like a gummy bear. His mind became instantly renewed, his body invigorated, as he donned his newest Copy Ability.

ADAM Kirby's face was visible within a diving helmet that encompassed the entirety of his round body, his stubby red feet poking out, while his arm stubs were replaced with two tiny drills, as if he was about to perform an extreme underwater root canal. And his eyes—they glowed with the same yellow intensity as Jack and the other Rapturians.

Jack Wynand, now a fully mobile Big Daddy (only, he was unique in the sense that his body wasn't fused to it), paused briefly at the puffball's unexpected transformation.

 _"You don't know the power you're messing with…"_

And he lunged toward ADAM Kirby, drill extended, while the Smasher did the same.

* * *

The battle on the surface had only just begun, and yet Red was already overwhelmed by the chaos of war. The Battle of the Hands had been different; back then, their enemy had been many in number, but man to man, the Nintendonians would come out on top every time. But now, even with the Ark, their technology came up far short of their Microsian enemies; they were outgunned _and_ outmanned.

It was some kind of miracle that he and the Mantine he rode weren't hit by any of the bullets or lasers flying around them. That miracle, though, took the form of his Slowbro's resilient Light Screen, which covered him and many of the other Water Pokémon with a translucent magenta barrier similar to Gardevoir's. In the meantime, the Pokémon retaliated with Ice Beams, Bubblebeams, Hydro Pumps, and even well-contained Thunderbolts, directed mostly at the soldiers on the battleships as well as the recently arrived Rapturians.

Then, to Red's surprise, Mewtwo's Saturn-ringed racer, the Psywave, descended beside him, and its cockpit opened, revealing the hybrid Pokémon-human inside.

 _"Your cousin needs you,"_ he said.

Red glanced at the waterfront battle, concerned how these Pokémon would fare without him, but he nodded and carefully stepped off the Mantine into the Psywave. "Let's go."

 _"Bring your friend as well."_

Red Returned Slowbro to its Pokéball, and then they were off, slicing through the sky, dodging projectiles, and whatever might have hit them was easily deflected by Mewtwo's Psychic power.

They soon reached one of the largest of the rust-colored Pandoran cruisers. Rather than landing, Mewtwo just levitated them both out of the Psywave and had it go off to do its own thing (whether using autopilot or some kind of telekinesis, Red couldn't tell).

On the roof of the ship, Red saw Gary and his Scyther confronting a quartet of Pandorans who appeared quite different from the rest. From the little he'd learned about the Microsians before this battle, he gathered that these must be the fabled Vault Hunters.

Roland was a bulky, dark-skinned man wearing plated leather armor and wielding a shotgun.

Lilith had flamingo-pink hair, tattoos on one arm and the side of her neck, and a leather jacket, appearing unarmed at first glance, although Red thought it unlikely that was the case.

Mordecai was thin and draped in red cloth like a desert dweller, a short sword sheathed on his back, a sniper rifle in hand, a hawk perched on his shoulder, and his eyes hidden by thick green-lensed goggles.

And Brick was a ripped giant of a man in a gray muscle shirt, with what looked suspiciously like explosive weapons strapped around his belt.

"You might as well just give up now, kids," Roland said, clearly not as impressed by the Pokémon as the Serans and Spartans had been.

"Yeah," Brick said. "Save us the trouble of cleanin' up the mess."

In response, Red tossed two Pokéballs to call Slowbro back out—as well as one of his lesser-used (though still integral) team members: the crab-mushroom hybrid known as Parasect. It clicked its snappers in front of its white bulbous eyes, while Slowbro stood on its hind legs like a short-snouted pink hippo with a conch shell attached to its tail. They lined up beside Gary's Scyther and Mewtwo's hovering figure.

"The only mess that'll need cleaning up," Gary said, "is your crushed ego when we beat you murderers to a pulp."

"Murderers, indeed…" Mordecai's voice came as a hoarse croak. "That's rich coming from the ones who've been raiding our villages with purple monsters for years."

Before Red could question the mercenary's strange statement, yet another Pokémon representative arrived on the ship: Quentin, alighting on the cruiser beside Gardevoir like an angelic visitor. He went to Red's side, nodding for his Pokémon to join the others on the front line while Mewtwo gave him a strange look of recognition. Quentin smiled at his son reassuringly, then turned to face the Vault Hunters.

"You will not harm my friends, nor will you stop the Smash Brothers," he said. "The spirits of the Pokémon will it so."

"Is that so?" Lilith's body faded into near invisibility, her body shimmering with magenta energy. An unseen pulse generated by her transformation caught Red and Gary by surprise, knocking them off their feet.

Gary staggered back up, brushing his hair with his hand. "So that's how it's gonna be," he muttered.

* * *

Pacman and Rocketman attacked a Spartan gunship from opposite sides, crashing through the open cargo bay and taking out several Spartans each. Pacman went to work chomping away at the remaining occupants (or, more accurately, causing them to jump into the ocean) while the Atarian leader blasted the pilots and assumed control of the gunship.

"This should be fun!" Pacman beamed.

YES, IT—

Unfortunately, their joyride was short-lived, for a cannon from one of the larger Seran battleships had noticed the gunship's infiltration, and had accordingly launched a sizeable missile that met its mark.

They careened toward the sea in a flaming frenzy, just barely managing to jump out of the downed gunship onto the battleship before the former disappeared into the ocean.

Dazed, they stood up to find themselves surrounded by a host of armed Serans, dozens of Lancers aimed at their heads. But the crowd was broken by two particular soldiers—soldiers who had recently spent time in captivity.

Fenix grinned broadly as he and Dominick approached the two Atarians, weapons at the ready. "I was hoping we'd get to repay the debt we owe to your plumber friends, but I guess a couple traitors'll make a good start." He turned to his men. "Stand down, fellas. Dom and I'll take care of these pixelated punks ourselves."

 _And that's your first mistake,_ Pacman thought, although deep down he wasn't quite sure that it was.


	20. Chapter 15: Agent Alpha (2)

Unlike on the Rapturian front, the Sonians found Reach's defenses gathered near the shore of their continent rather than on the water. And as Peach and Tiny Kong saw from Rayman's airship, this was for a very specific reason.

There were, of course, many, many Spartan gunships—and not just gunships, but ground assault vehicles and tanks and a legion of foot soldiers congregated on the coast like an angry green ant colony.

And then there was the _Normandy_ , the Edenese rocket ship directed by Commander John Shepard and containing some mysterious power that the non-Microsians had yet to understand. It was accompanied by the fleet of the Systems Alliance, which was composed of almost-identical blue-and-white ships that resembled V-Wings.

But the reason they didn't venture past the barren beach was the Mechs. Peach—and the rest of the Nintendonians and Sonians, for that matter—had never seen anything quite like it. The BattleMechs were Transformer-like robots of varying size and color (not that the princess knew what a Transformer was), most of them with some kind of missile launchers mounted on their shoulders. The difference between these and Transformers, however, was that each was manned by a human (rather than being an actual sentient robot), and rather than having "faces," they more closely resembled Shadow Moses Island's Metal Gears—only, their firepower consisted of more traditional military grade guns and missiles. But regardless of the design, these machine warriors hailing from Helios looked about as harmless as a nuclear-powered kitten.

Peach watched the grounded machines with apprehension, wondering which among them was the legendary MechWarrior, leader of the elite Wolf's Dragoons. And she suspected many of her comrades-in-arms were wondering the same thing: Were they in over their head here?

Yet the Sonian armada was just as impressive: Megaland's cobalt transports; Tails's _Tornado_ ; Ratchet and Clank's _Aphelion_ ; the Veldinian jets piloted by fish people; Jak and Daxter's _Phantom Blade_ ; the Freedom League's HellCats and Sky Raiders and Bombers and Jaguars; Spyro's horde of dragons; the crude juggernaut-based zeppelins from the Glade of Dreams such as the one she was in herself; and the deceptively frail-looking origami boats of Craftworld. Surely once they joined forces with the Smash Brothers in the north, they would stand more than a fighting chance.

Her hope was about to be put to the test. None of the Microsians seemed keen on sending any kind of emissary to parlay before going to battle; in fact, the enemy ships were already firing their first wave of bullets and lasers and missiles at the approaching army.

"Here we go!" Rayman yelled. And all at once, the strategy they had discussed for the land invasion was carried into effect.

Spearheading the assault were the _Tornado_ , _Aphelion_ , _Phantom Blade_ , Veldinian jets, and the Freedom League, being the Sonians' strongest aerial firepower. They met the Spartan gunships head-on, doing their best to anticipate the missiles and lasers, although several of their ships were downed almost immediately. They were high enough to be out of reach of all but the most long-ranged ground vehicles, though the few anti-aircraft cannons the Spartans and BattleMechs did possess were powerful enough to pose a very real threat.

Meanwhile, the airships, origami boats, and Megalandian transports followed close behind, more or less protected by those who had gone before them. Several explosive projectiles of one kind or another occasionally did break through, but the transports' armor was too strong for any but the most heavy-duty missile. The airships were protected by maniacal Glutes slapping bullets away from their vessels, and the origami boats whisked themselves out of the way as if blown by a sympathetic wind or lifted and moved by the hand of a roleplaying child.

Once they were close enough to be in range of those on shore (having passed underneath most of the sky battle), the Electoons and Lums began pouring out of the airships like rainbow Skittles, attacking the Spartans and Heliosians below with every spark of magic on their tiny bodies, not bothered by the indiscriminate destruction of dozens of their comrades (mainly because Polokus, the deity of their realm, recycled their life energy into new life forms on a regular basis).

Simultaneously, the Craftworld puppets let loose an onslaught of art-based attacks, ranging from paint blasters to staple harpoons to Crayon missiles to boomerang-shaped exact-o-knives. Some puppets used weapons that went along with the theme of their outfit, such as a medieval knight puppet with a crossbow and a Martian puppet with a plasma gun. The Creator Curators, too, fought according to their nature—the googly-eyed king with a golden scepter that spewed boiling oil paint; the angel with a harp that projected stinging specks of glitter; the horse with its unbreakable pencil-tip battle horn; and so on. Larry Da Vinci was kept engaged shouting commands to the sackcloth warriors, though he wielded a sharpened ballpoint pen lance of his own. Finally, the three heroes Toggle, Swoop, and Oddsock went about with weapons as creative as Sackboy's, attacking the Microsians with scissor blades and Sharpie spears and sticky Wite-Out bombs.

The first of Megaland's transports opened its hatches to allow its occupants to join the battle, jumping into about a foot of water before rushing onto the beach to confront the assembled Spartans and BattleMechs. There was an immediate rush of Megalandian Robot Soldiers, blue energy waves and yellow laser pellets firing from arm cannons to create their own sort of odd fireworks show. In their midst, an assortment of Robot Masters led the charge with their more unique abilities, firing wrist rockets or tossing metal discs or crashing into the Spartans with lightning speed or setting the shore of Reach alight with whirling flames. Bass fought alongside Proto Man, the first Robot Master, whose red armor complemented his yellow ascot, his helmet shading his eyes. But even with all their strength, they soon found themselves in a deadlock against the advanced Spartan guns.

Few Mobians had been fit to fight in such a war, but those who could hold their own had come to represent their home, made up of some of the more intelligent animals including Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy (Tails was still manning the _Tornado_ ), but also Tikal the Echidna, Big the Cat, Rouge the Bat, and a trio of mercenaries composed of Vector the Crocodile, Espio the Chameleon, and Charmy the Bee, collectively known as Team Chaotix. The Mobians' combat styles relied primarily on agility and the rolling and jumping typical of Sonic's homeland, but a few employed more personal techniques, such as Big's fishing rod, Rouge's flight, and Vector's brute strength.

Equally swift, Crash Bandicoot led his small band of Tasmanians into the fray. He sped into the Spartan ranks as a spinning orange whirlwind, while behind him a crowd of other anthropomorphic bandicoots (courtesy of Dr. Neo Cortex's evil, though failed, animal experimentation) followed suit—with the exception of Crunch Bandicoot, Crash's clone and onetime enemy-turned-brother who had the build of The Hulk and fought a bit less gracefully.

From another transport, Sly Cooper snuck forward, family staff in one hand and gun in the other, with a motley crew of animal comrades: Bentley the nerdy, wheelchair-bound turtle who could nonetheless fend for himself with the chair's robotic arms; Murray the luchador-like hippo; Carmelita Fox, the letter-of-the-law police officer who had long sought to arrest Sly, but for now had called off the chase; and even two former foes, Muggshot and the Panda King, who had reformed from their villainous roles among the Fiendish Five and were currently finding new purpose in bashing enemy heads together.

In the meantime, Spyro and his would-be girlfriend, Cynder, led the thundering dragons against both the ground and air machines, many of them targeting the extremely durable BattleMechs. A bow-and-arrow-wielding cheetah named Hunter, one of Spyro's most loyal friends, shot arrows at Spartan helmets—with negligible results, but they did at least distract the soldiers for a few precious seconds.

But even with all their forces, Sony soon began to suffer from Microsoft's technological might, and it would need every second of advantage it could get.

* * *

Bass and Proto Man had just finished taking down (that is, knocking out) a pair of Spartans when an unexpected newcomer landed in front of them from somewhere above.

It was a gun-wielding robot with half of its internal circuitry exposed, metal tubes snaking their way in and out of its chest and along its armored limbs. The head consisted of a single bright bulb—presumably an "eye"—the armor around it resembling a hood. It stared at them emotionlessly as all good robot villains do.

The two Robot Masters pointed their arm cannons at the stranger, Treble growling at Bass's side.

"And just who are you supposed to be?" Bass aid.

The eye bulb flashed. "We are Legion, friends of Commander John Shepard. You…will harm our world no longer."

"I think you've got a pronoun malfunction somewhere in your circuitry," Proto Man said. "But we'll take that as an invitation to fight. Bass, let's do this!"

Bass grinned. "With pleasure."

Their arms both charged and fired yellow and neon green lasers, respectively, meeting the red blast of Legion's weapon with an explosion that might as well have been the ringing of a wrestling bell.

* * *

"MechWarrior, watch out for the bogies coming on your left."

Major Natalia Kerensky, the MechWarrior's right-hand woman of Wolf's Dragoons, moved her rust-colored Cougar Mech over to where her captain's green Atlas mech was busy shooting down Freedom Fighter jets, rockets launching from its humanoid arms, its cat-like face a glimmering white gold around its glowing red eyes.

"Uh, guys? You might wanna watch your right, too; the raccoon and his troupe of circus freaks keep dodging my attacks. I knew I should've just stayed in the lab on this one…" Lieutenant Foster, the rather self-conscious techie of the team, didn't suit up often, but now, his topaz-colored Ragnarok joining the other two Mechs, it appeared his less-than-completely-voluntary involvement would prove necessary after all.

What baffled MechWarrior and his Dragoons the most about these Sonians was that they were as much of a threat on foot as they were in their machines. Granted, even with their enemy's unexpected strength, MechWarrior wasn't too concerned about winning. Their nearly impenetrable Mechs combined with their powerful Microsian allies were hardly going to bow down before a bunch of garage-built toys that looked like they'd been built as early as the 21st century.

Still, even MechWarrior had to admit that some of these legendary All-Stars were difficult to nail down. The raccoon danced around Foster's feet, then actually began to climb up the huge machine, looking for buttons or switches that ought not to be pushed. Kerensky was having difficulty striking down a single boy with a weasel friend; the boy was agile, and he was using some kind of energy force to block her ballistics and retaliate with surprisingly harmful blasts of yellow magic. Meanwhile, MechWarrior himself had to continue pivoting to keep track of a tiny yellow cat with an even tinier flying robot on its shoulder. It was using some kind of wrench to somehow magnetize the shrapnel and broken machinery around the beach and direct it all at the Atlas's head, which caused more difficulty than he'd faced since their last tangle with their sworn enemies, The Word of Blake.

For Sly Cooper, Jak and Daxter, and Ratchet and Clank, on the other hand, holding their own against giant mechanical monsters wasn't exactly a new concept for any of them. They were having the time of their lives—however short those lives might end up being.

* * *

Sonic, Spyro, and Crash Bandicoot came to a halt as they beheld a particularly nasty-looking trio of Spartan tanks, known to their users as Scorpions. They were surrounded by a dense cluster of Spartans, one of whom featured aqua blue armor rather than the traditional green.

"That's their commander," Sonic said, surprised he remembered this. "If we can take him and these tanks down, that'll be a crippling blow to the Spartan forces on this front."

"Well, blimey," Crash said, cracking his knuckles and bouncing with energy and stretching his quads. "Looks like we've found ourselves a right little bungalow to blow up. Let's get this walkabout—er, runabout—kickin'!"

Spyro's nostrils steamed eagerly. "I couldn't have said it better myself—well, okay, I could, but if I was as linguistically handicapped as you, I'm sure it wouldn't be _that_ much better."

Sonic scraped his red running shoes against the sandy ground. "Let's do this!"

And the blue, orange, and purple blurs came down the slight incline, taking the Spartans by storm.

* * *

Amidst the chaos, the _SSV Normandy_ proceeded calmly through the crossfire like a giant black-and-white talon—directly toward the flying juggernaut upon which Princess Peach, Tiny, Lanky, Chunky, and Rayman stood. Based on what L.O.G. had said about Eden Prime's supreme, mystical powers, this wasn't an encounter any of them looked forward to. Peach herself was beginning to regret not staying safely holed up below deck with Toadsworth (who had insisted on coming along to Microsoft to accompany the princess in spite of his virtual ineptitude in any kind of combat).

"Hey, guys," Rayman said, holding up two loaded plunger guns and gesturing with his head toward the approaching _SSV Normandy_ —specifically the hatch on top. "Whaddya say we go for a ride?"

"Seriously?" Tiny looked over the side of the juggernaut at the Edenese vessel. The ship itself boasted no guns of its own; it was whatever awaited them inside that filled her with foreboding.

"That thing's gonna send us on a much different ride if we don't do something soon," Rayman said. "Unless anyone has a better idea?"

Rayman took the brief silence as an answer. He aimed his plungers with an air of intense concentration. "Get ready to zip-line on whatever you've got—hands or otherwise—because we'll have only a short window to board."

With that, he squeezed both triggers, shooting the twin plungers straight into the hull of the _Normandy_ —with thick cables attached to the wooden end. Rayman quickly handed the cables to Chunky, who looked at the All-Star in dismay.

"Me not going?"

"Course not," Lanky said, linking his long arms above his head with one of the cables in between. "You weigh over 800 pounds, ya big lump." He pioneered the journey down to the _Normandy_ , soon followed by Rayman and Princess Peach (who slid down using Perry as a bar over the cable).

Tiny paused before jumping. She stepped over and put a hand on Chunky's face. "You protect Toadsworth and the rest on this ship," she said. We'll see ya real soon!" The next moment, she was gone. And the moment after that, Chunky's pineapple launcher was out and aimed at the multitude of enemy aircrafts.

It was odd; once the four heroes (five including Perry) were all securely on board the roof of the _Normandy_ , the ship came to a halt in midair, its rockets keeping it aloft as if this had been its destination the entire time. Its passiveness worried Peach more than any laser beam.

But they couldn't just wait around for something to happen; all it would take was a simple barrel roll to send them a hundred feet down into the ocean. Rayman again took the initiative, causing his golden hair to form a propeller like he often would when hovering through the air—only this time, the propeller wasn't so much for hovering as it was for cutting.

Amazingly, his cranial propeller blade actually managed to cut slowly through the metal exterior, sparks flying from the point of impact as he incised a rough square out of the hull (the ship was large enough and the hatch appeared safe enough that he wasn't too concerned about air pressure issues). In just a couple minutes, the job was complete, and he used one of the plungers to extract the square segment and create an opening through which they dropped into the darkness of the _Normandy_.

Doors slid open and closed before and behind them, the decompressing noises assuring the retention of air pressure—as well as the pilot's awareness of the intruders.

The small group said nothing for fear of provoking the enemy further, but instead filed silently into a whitewashed hallway, with blinding halogen lights marking the way like a pathway to heaven. The ship was so well designed that they felt like they were actually on solid ground—or a floating space station that felt no different from a planet's surface.

Peach made sure not to allow Perry to hit the low ceiling as they proceeded cautiously through the space shuttle (how it was flying and hovering so easily within the atmosphere, none of them could have either wondered or guessed), the space around them hushed from the battle outside as if they all had cotton balls stuffed in their ears.

Oddly, nothing hindered their journey, and minutes later, Rayman led them through the doors which undoubtedly led onto the command bridge.

A crew of humans was busy running the ship, seated around the large room and staring at screens and manipulating various control panels. The windows looking out at Rayman's blimp-ship were heavily tinted, which explained why the exterior of this part of the _Normandy_ was a glossy black. Each of the crewmates was dressed like a navy officer whose uniform had a bit of a Star Trek flair.

But what really disturbed Peach, Rayman, Tiny, and Lanky was that all of these Edenites _were_ _completely ignoring them._ A couple of the nearest ones glanced in their direction, but if they were surprised, they hid it well. One man calmly turned toward the captain's chair near the front of the bridge and called, "Captain; the trespassers have just arrived, just as you said they would."

A man stood from within the chair and slowly turned to face them. His head was shaved military-style, his hardened face almost the perfect likeness of Wentworth Miller, his iron gray space armor almost as thick as the Spartans'.

"Before we destroy your armies," he said, "tell me, Smash Brothers and All-Stars…why, after all these years, did you ever think it a good idea to violate our truce?"

" _We_ violated the truce?" Tiny scoffed. "You're the ones who showed up out of nowhere and blew up half the coast of Dreamland."

"Yes." This time the speaker was a dark-haired woman in a blue jumpsuit. But there was something off about her; something Tiny couldn't quite put her finger on. "After you sent your purple monsters and ravaged our capital, The Citadel."

Peach felt more troubled the more these Edenites spoke. "What do you mean? None of us, Nintendo or Sony, has stepped foot on Microsoft since the Copyright Wars ended."

"Tell that to our thousands of dead Edenese civilians," Captain John Shepard said. "You Nintendonians forced us to resume this war the same way you forced us to surrender the first time. We may have fought our share of interstellar threats in my day…" Suddenly, he got a distant look, as if recalling battles of the past. "But we're a peace-loving people. Believe me, I'd just love to welcome you all on board like a tour guide, but until your worlds learn to respect ours…well, we won't put up with your crimes any longer." He stared at them for a long, uncomfortable moment. "You might be wondering why we're not worried about you breaking into our ship. It's because you can do us no harm. I suppose it's no use inviting you to surrender…so feel free to watch your friends face retribution before you face the same fate."

Perry didn't know what kind of weapon these humans were planning on using on his friends, but he didn't want to wait to find out. And that was why he acted, jerking Peach's hands forward and casting an energy projection of himself at the captain.

The woman stood and lifted a hand, causing the projection to freeze in midair—along with the five heroes, who were immediately rendered immobile.

"You've never met a Biotic before, have you?" Ashley Williams said with an unsettling smile. "The Systems Alliance has learned how to harness the power of the Mass Effect, the dark energy that causes the never-ending expansion of the universe. I'm one of the rare individuals who can control it myself." She looked over at Captain Shepard. "But the way we're going to stop your invasion involves an entirely different form of the Mass Effect."

One of the crew members spoke up. "Captain, the Capital Ship is in position. Shall we commence charging the weapon?"

Shepard nodded to the crewman, then used a control panel to pull up a rearview screen at the front of the bridge—clearly for the newcomers' benefit.

Peach gasped. Hundreds and hundreds of feet tall, a colossal mollusk-like machine with a pointed "shell" towered above the battle, six piercing red lights (or were they eyes?) situated between its four claw-like limbs.

Shepard continued where Ashley left off, the Biotic woman still effortlessly keeping the intruders immobile with her telekinetic matter manipulation. "The Reapers were our sworn enemies," he said. "Ancient aliens who destroyed all life in the galaxy every 50,000 years. But after the Great Moon Deity put an end to their genocidal race, we were able to salvage some of their machine bodies for our own use. We've configured it to strike only our enemies, leaving our forces perfectly intact. It's time to say goodbye to your foolhardy invasion. Forever."

Peach watched the Reaper's eyes begin to glow brighter, and then through the tinted window in front of her saw the thousands of Sonians who had no idea how doomed their mission had been. The last time her heart had ached like this had been after a third of the Nintendo World's population had been massacred by Master's Smash Rod.

"Please, captain," she pleaded, her eyes watering. "You can't do this. We're not the enemies you think we are; give us a chance to explain ourselves before you kill as many innocent lives as were taken from you by whoever attacked your Citadel. I promise it wasn't us."

John Shepard frowned for the first time. He hadn't expected the enemy's charade to last this long…or be this desperate. "All right, miss," he said. "The magneto-hydrodynamic cannon requires ten minutes to warm up. You've got ten minutes to _try_ and convince me you're not a threat to our people…but keep in mind that your armies are attacking my comrades of the Systems Alliance as we speak. After that…we end this."

* * *

"That's it—the palace of the Moon Deity."

Like a gold fleck left stranded on a dried Californian river bed, the palace came into view before the Falcon Flyer and its entourage of elvish fairies.

"Good thing we're still cloaked," Captain Falcon commented as he lowered the Falcon Flyer a few hundred yards away from the entrance at Joanna Dark's behest, behind an outcropping of boulders and barren, twisting trees. Surprisingly, there were only a few Hayabusa ninjas guarding the tall purple doors, and with such an empty landscape, he didn't see how there could be any sort of ambush lying in wait. Could the Microsians have actually _wanted_ them to come? Or had the former prisoners really been able to sneak under the radar to take the Microsians by surprise?

Dust billowed as they landed, which hopefully wouldn't attract too much attention from this distance. More of Joanna's Cloaking Devices were then handed to each hero in turn, Kameo and her kin being able to camouflage themselves with magic. And without further ado, the Flyer's occupants disembarked and began making their way toward the palace. Kameo stayed near the Flyer with the elves to await further instruction and to be prepared for any possible attacks from the outside.

"Remind me again why Ryu couldn't have just told all his ninjas to lay off of us?" Falco said, trying not to let the heat of the baking sun sour his mood.

"The Hayabusa do not use technology as we do," Snake responded, walking closely beside Samus—though not as closely as Captain Falcon on the other, which he tried to ignore for the time being. "Ryu had no way to inform them remotely of our recent alliance."

"Hm." Falco immediately lost interest in the logistical details of their plan. They'd known all along this would come to a fight of some sort, so he supposed it didn't matter too much to him at this point.

"Holy…" As the palace came into plainer view, Diddy had to stop, just for a moment, to be dazzled by its magnificence. Its architecture looked distinctly Arabic, with onion-shaped spires, rune-carved columns, gem-encrusted walls, and wide slanting double doors covered in purple velvet. He wondered whether this building had been part of Vigoor before the Moon Deity became their god, or whether it had been built specifically for that purpose.

They came to a halt behind a large boulder, which was the last thing concealing them from the Hayabusa guards.

"Activate your cloaking devices now," Joanna said.

They each pressed the silvery buttons on the round metal disks, and each in turn became an invisible blur, appearing as a heat haze on the horizon.

The two guards standing on either side of the doors became more attentive and suspicious as they sensed something out of the ordinary. But before they could investigate further, they felt invisible arms around their necks, and each dropped to the ground unconscious in a matter of seconds.

Snake and Joanna, who had been responsible for the submission of the guards, flickered into sight at will and gestured for the rest of the party to proceed into the palace. Joanna tugged at the stone door with a heave, but it didn't budge until Captain Falcon joined her, and Yoshi wrapped his tongue around the ornately gilded handle and used this leverage to pull as well.

Once it was sufficiently open, Falcon and Snake stood aside to let Joanna in first, followed by Yoshi, Prince Peasley, Falco, Meta Knight, Roy, Ness, Shadow—

Suddenly the door slammed shut, and a veritable wall of thick stone dropped from the archway above, nearly crushing Snake and Falcon as it slammed onto the ground where they had just been standing, sealing their friends inside like a tomb. And most disturbingly, a deep, throaty, animalic laugh echoed from within, a laugh that shook Diddy in a familiar way he couldn't quite explain…

"No!" Snake slammed his fists against the wall. "They're trapped!"

Before Samus, Falcon, Diddy, or Sackboy could respond (to be fair, Sackboy wouldn't have responded anyway), they heard a violent commotion coming from the direction of the Falcon Flyer. They swiveled around to find the Enchanted Kingdom fairies engaged in a battle of magic against grenade explosions and deafening gunfire. In the distance, the titanic Spartan Frigate was quickly approaching, and from within the deep crevices of the Vigoorian canyon, scores of soldiers climbed onto the plateau.

And they weren't just any soldiers. They weren't even Spartans.

They were helmet- and camo-wearing, machine gun- and bazooka-toting Teddy Bears.

Their yellow eyes were the very embodiment of insanity, their twisted grins about as cuddly as a horned demon.

The Tediz.

And then they parted ranks to allow a solitary creature to make its way toward the heroes. This one also sported a World War II-style helmet, as well as a particularly sinister-looking Gatling gun. Only, his fur was red. And he was a squirrel.

He was Conker.

As dumbstruck as his fellows were, Diddy found his mind spinning like a centrifuge, trying and failing to compute what was before his eyes.

"…Conker? What's going on? How are you alive?" He left out the slightly important question of why Conker was pointing a gun at him beside the Tediz.

Conker had always looked and acted rather manic, but now it was as if his bucktoothed grin was completely uninhibited, his insanity free to express itself in bloody and unsavory ways.

"I've waited a long time for this, Diddy," he said. "Believe me, it took a lot of hard work—not to mention self-control—to get the Chief to give me what I want. You may know me as Conker the Squirrel, but around here they call me Agent Alpha…and finally, after all this time, I get to destroy you."


	21. Chapter 16: Mass Destruction (1)

Chapter 16: Mass Destruction

* * *

 _ **L**_ ink had rather missed wearing his blue Water Tunic, which would allow him to dive and breathe underwater. Those using Gadd's diving equipment included Toon Link, Zelda, Bomberman, the Chestnut King (XXXXL), April, Lance, and some of the Wafflites and Delfinians who'd chosen to accompany them down. The rest—Ruto and her Zoras and the Water Pokémon—had no need of such technology, being born to swim and to filter oxygen through their gills.

And so they lined up at the edge of the continental shelf, with nothing standing in the way of their mission but the final act of nerve to descend into the unknown. Before they began, Bomberman made a series of gestures to the rest of the group, all of them either treading water or comfortably floating on it.

Princess Ruto translated. "He says…when we go down there, we'll be looking for Reeka's device attached to the base of the continental shelf, most likely at the deepest and steepest part of the slope. He'll take care of any disarming that needs to be done, but we need to be ready in case Reeka left us any surprises. Now let's do this!"

First Bomberman and the Zoras, then the rest plunged their heads downward, saying goodbye to the surface.

Link was immediately amazed by how clear the tropical ocean was—definitely more so than Lake Hylia. His body heat was well conserved by the magic of his tunic, but he could feel the pressing chill of the salty water around him and the currents created by himself and others with every kick and stroke. The water itself was a mysterious force that pretended it could be manipulated by mortals, while in reality it held ultimate control over their survival. And if their mission failed, that control would extend over the entire Nintendonian continent.

Populating the ridge and the slope were a colorful variety of Kongo Jungle's ocean life: Chomps; Clambos; Flotsams; Squidges; Shuri; Puftups; Nibblas; and all manner of other aquatic creatures, darting in and out of bright coral reefs and dancing stalks of seaweed, air bubbles swirling up from carnivorous commotion or playful swimming. It was a beautiful—if dangerous—world. A world that might soon no longer exist.

The clearly lit shallows soon grew dark as the sun receded above them, abandoning them to the mysteries of the deep—mysteries that Toon Link sincerely hoped were nothing like those he'd discovered while on _The King's Krystal_ , particularly the Big Octos.

Once the sun was no longer of use to them, Gadd's diving suits automatically switched on bright LED headlights, illuminating their way down as if they were being dragged under by an oppressive indigo fog. Communication was possible with Gadd's microphones (set up on both those with and without suits), but silence reigned as the Smash Brothers delved into a realm none of them—or, likely, anyone else—had ever seen.

The deeper they went, the wildlife became stranger and sparser, giving way to Lockjaws with shining antennae. A rust-colored anglerfish known to the Kongs as Glimmer actually turned away from its normal doleful activities to accompany them out of mixed curiosity and desire to be helpful, its mouth perpetually gaping open. The continental slope became more sheer, and Bomberman led them further north to where it appeared to reach its steepest, in certain parts even curving back in on itself. Link placed a hand on the rocky shelf, finding it sandy and slippery, but also dangerously rough and jagged. He wouldn't want to hit his head on this kind of wall.

Finally, they found something out of the ordinary—very, _very_ out of the ordinary. It was almost like its own technological layer of rock, spreading across the underside of an overhanging ridge that curved in on itself particularly far back and formed a sort of open-ended underwater cavern. The stratum seemed to match the obsidian metal that made up Reeka's "spider egg" laboratory on Atari Island. Link had no idea how it could have been embedded in the rock in such a way that it appeared to have been built into the continent itself over millennia. But he knew it was bad news, and what lay at the far end of the cave seemed to confirm it.

The Metal Gear still had a "face" of sorts, but its machinery had been built into the cliff face so that the vein of black metal spread out from either end like an aggressive virus. Link didn't even want to think about how much explosive power was contained in both the machine and the vein, which undoubtedly ran around the entire Nintendo mainland. And which begged the question…how had Reeka built this so quickly? And right under their noses?

Bomberman held up an arm to signal them to stop. He went on until he was directly in front of the reconfigured Metal Gear, inspecting it carefully from every angle. Finally, after about five minutes, he turned to them and made a long series of signals.

"Reeka's bomb is fueled not just by nuclear fission, but by Rocketman's jet fuel from Atari," Ruto said, having no problem as a Zora speaking underwater without a helmet. "There must be at least a dozen other Metal Gears implanted around the mainland, each geared to set off a chain reaction that will make Nintendo the new Rapture with the press of a button. There's no way we'll be able to disarm all the Metal Gears before Reeka sets them off, but he thinks a few of his special Water Bombs might just be enough to break the circuit, rendering the rest of the explosive network virtually useless."

"Virtually?" Lance said.

"How do you know your bombs won't set the whole thing off instead of stop it?" Toon Link asked.

Bomberman gestured some more.

"The kind of reaction needed to set off a bomb like this could only be activated by a deliberate command from Reeka's technology," Ruto said. "Basically, we have nothing to lose from trying."

"Okay," Link said. "So what do you want us to do?"

More motions.

"Bring any explosives you have. We're gonna give this monster everything we've got."

As Bomberman charged up his own smooth blue bombs, which increased in size several times before reaching their maximum potential, others brought forth anything they had to offer. Link and Toon Link had water bombs of their own, which looked like regular bombs nestled in aquamarine flower petals. The Sharpedos lined up some distance away, ready to use Water Pulse, along with some of the other Pokémon with long-range attacks of their own. The Chestnut King and his fellow Wafflites planted a number of Cherry Bombs around the Metal Gear as well. Lance's Gyrados prepared to use Dragon Breath, while Zelda prepared to cast an enormous Nayru's Love shield that would encompass all the Smash Brothers in the safety of a magical diamond prism. And the Delfinians placed explosive durians (a recent innovation) wherever they could find space. Altogether, they had created a well-decorated arrangement of bombs which would—hopefully—be enough to save their homeland.

"Everyone back away," Ruto translated as she, Bomberman, and the rest did just that, putting a good distance between them and the wreath of bombs while still being close enough for Gyrados and the Sharpedos to work their magic.

Then all was still. Bomberman needed no translation as he raised a noodly arm, glanced around to make sure all were ready, and brought it down in the direction of the Metal Gear. The Pokémon let loose their respective Dragonbreath and Water Pulse attacks (along with Dewgong's Aurora Beam and Tentacruel's Hyper Beam), and as the attacks reached their target, Bomberman remotely denoted all his bombs at the same time.

Underwater explosions weren't quite like aboveground ones. Rather than expressing itself in a big burst of rolling fire, this explosion surged outward with violent waves of boiling bubbles, which would have had serious consequences had the Smash Brothers not been protected by Nayru's Love. With the added turquoise and rainbow flashes of Dragonbreath and Aurora Beam, it was quite a sight to behold, as if a whale-sized Electrode made entirely of multicolored paint bubbles and C-4 had Self-Destructed.

The water raged past them for at least thirty seconds like an angry sea demon, and even when it subsided, the disturbed water took minutes to settle. Link peered through the bubbles and cloudy sediment, trying to make out the result of their combined attack.

 _It_ must _have worked…there's no way anything could withstand a blast like that…_

Slowly, the water grew calm, and the floating sediment blasted from the wall began sinking away, revealing the outcome.

A gaping hole had appeared in the center of the Metal Gear—but not because of their bombs. Rather, it had opened in response to the attempted sabotage, deploying dozens of belligerent R.A.W.s to defend their host, their dark blue components almost blending in with the ocean.

And across the front of the Metal Gear, a glowing red timer flared up like the R.A.W.s' laser vision. It was counting down.

From ten minutes.

* * *

Elsewhere underwater, ADAM Kirby was engaged in a strange kind of weightless ballet dance. With spinning drills and superpowered divers and aqua zombies.

He and the especially skilled Big Daddy—Jack Wynand—swooped and spun around each other as they sank toward the ghostly lit city of Rapture, the eerie green light reflecting off their helmets. Kirby gasped as Jack slammed his large body against the puffball's small, fragile one, meteor-smashing him onto the city street below. He barely managed to roll out of the way before the diving suit's heavy foot crashed onto the surface, seeking to squish him like a blueberry.

And then, before Kirby could do anything else, a mob of Splicers converged on top of him, screeching and pulling at his arms and banging on his helmet savagely. He disappeared beneath the pile of mutated humans, certain he was done for.

He thought of the Smash Brothers, of all they'd been through together. Of their triumphs against Nightmare and all his incarnations. Of the fun he'd had with his good friend King Dedede. Of his instant hit rock concerts in the castle. Of the scrumptious flavor of Wispy Wood's apples. Of the soothing sound of Jigglypuff's melodic voice…

The Splicers shrieked as they were thrown off their prey all at once, several of them in multiple pieces. Kirby's glowing yellow eyes were narrowed behind his helmet as he spun himself around while his drill arms spun on their own, slicing and striking down any Splicer foolish enough to approach him. But he didn't stop there; he kept spinning, faster and faster until he had created a vortex, which sucked up countless Splicers and even pulled Jack Wynand off the street toward its turbulent current.

While the Big Daddy sought to escape the vortex, ADAM Kirby made his move. He leapt and dug both drill arms straight into Jack's chest, which was protected by the thick suit but was still dealt quite a blow, tossing him backward until he crashed against a building and floated back down to the street.

But if Kirby had thought that would be enough to take out the hero of Rapture, he was greatly mistaken. The Big Daddy's several "eyes" switched from yellow to red, indicating an incensed rage as he bounded forward to drive his drill through Kirby's helmet.

Kirby barely blocked it with his drill arms crossed in front of him, the whirring weapons bouncing off each other with a horrible scraping sound. They both spun backward, drifting through the water until they faced each other once more.

How long could this go on?

* * *

Scyther and Mordecai engaged each other, blade against blade. The Pokémon's blades, of course, were its arms, while the Vault Hunter wielded the short sword that had been sheathed on his back, blocking the Bug Pokémon's swipes with expertise. Gary shouted instructions to his friend, warning him of incoming strikes from unexpected directions.

Red's Slowbro contended with Brick. It was far too slow to avoid the hulking man's punches, but also too slow to care or feel the pain for about twenty seconds afterward. Brick toppled the Pokémon onto its side with satisfaction, pulling out a handheld explosive to finish the job.

"Get up, Slowbro!" Red shouted. But he wasn't actually worried; he just wanted Brick to _think_ Slowbro was in trouble. That way he would be caught totally off guard by what happened next.

While still lying on its side like a tipped cow, Slowbro's eyes suddenly glowed an intense midnight blue. A similar-colored aura enveloped its body, and its Confusion attack caused Brick to involuntarily float into the air and turn upside down.

"What the—"

Slowbro followed up with what was perhaps the most painful of all Tail Whips, striking Brick in the gut with the spiked conch shell attached to the end (Slowbro's Evolution was triggered by a Shellder clamping onto its tail, the belated pain of which causes such Pokémon to Evolve). That was enough to send the man over the edge of the brown Pandoran cruiser, yelling as he splashed into the ocean some 50 feet below.

Meanwhile, Roland alternated firing his shotgun and using it as a bludgeon to fend off Red's Parasect. It nimbly scuttled out of harm's way, although at one point it took a strong blow to its mushroom cap, causing it to retreat.

Parasect leapt like a jumping spider clear over Roland's head, performing a front flip and depositing a powdery yellow Spore as it did so. Roland cried out as he found his body Paralyzed—temporarily, but long enough for Parasect to follow up with a powerful Mega Drain, which rapidly sucked energy from his body and left him to collapse onto the metal surface nearly unconscious.

And then there was Lilith, who was all but invisible to both Mewtwo and Quentin's Gardevoir. Mewtwo fired haphazard Shadow Balls while Gardevoir combed their surroundings with a Psybeam from her hands.

There was another shockwave from behind Mewtwo, who gasped as Lilith struck him in the back of the head with the enhanced strength of a Siren, almost causing him to lose control and follow Brick into the ocean below. Lilith's blur of a body flickered as she then swept toward Gardevoir, her hands glowing with blue-violet energy.

Gardevoir Teleported behind Lilith to where Mewtwo hovered shakily, put an arm on the psychic cat's paw, and closed her eyes. Her Calm Mind technique did not have any visible manifestations, but it did have a profound impact on the two, doubling their Psychic power. Mewtwo felt the revitalizing energy flow through his veins, coursing through his brain and against the tips of his fingers, anxious to find release.

They faced Lilith, who was coming at them again with her blue-violet magic. Together, they combined Psybeam and Shadow Ball, which were larger and more intense than normal. The two attacks converged on the approaching Siren and resulted in a concussive blast.

Lilith was down for the count, having collapsed on the cruiser's roof. That made three for four, and when Mordecai realized there were five Pokémon assembling around him at once, he dropped his sword with a sigh and put his hands up.

"Well played, Nintendo," he rasped. "But I fear your victory will be short-lived…"

* * *

Rocketman and Fenix exchanged fire as the former boosted himself around the battleship, winding his way around turrets and Serans to evade Fenix's bullets while he returned the favor with his thin colorful laser segments. He was just barely able to spare enough attention to notice Pacman, who was bouncing away from Dominic's Lancer while chomping around the man and humoring him with a volley of apples, cherries, oranges, and melons.

But then the Spartan gunship came from behind. A flash of blue, and Rocketman's jetpack was shot, and he found himself spiraling down toward the deck of the battleship.

Pacman, seeing his fellow Atarian's plight, slid beneath the whining chainsaw edge of Dominic's Lancer and dove forward. He generated a spontaneous blue line beneath him that served as a two-dimensional trampoline, which bounced him up to catch Rocketman before his friend hit the ground.

They turned together to find Fenix and Dominic facing them once more, ready to reengage. But then something caught everyone's attention.

From the Ark, Wario and Waluigi had deployed The Big One—a weapon that resembled the flatulent water balloons they used in Treasure Trove Cove, only this one was the size of a Wailord. A huge hatch opened beneath the Ark's eggplant-shaped body, and a giant mechanical arm tossed it into the mess, the rubbery sphere wobbling monstrously.

Wario's aim was impeccable; The Big One took a Spartan gunship down with it as it splashed into the ocean between two Seran battleships near the back of the armada. It exploded with a putrid force that would rival that of a vaporized nuclear waste deposit. Neither battleship stood a chance as both of them and the gunship were swept in a foul mustard-colored mushroom cloud.

But that wasn't all. Just as the blast was beginning to subside, an incensed Humba Wumba came along and, from her plane, used magic to carry the suffocating blast over through a Pandoran cruiser and two more gunships, all of which were mercilessly incinerated.

Fenix was briefly shocked, but then came the rage. He swiveled back to the Atarians. "So, bringing out the big guns, eh?" He lowered his Lancer and indicated for the others to do likewise. They complied, but not without confused looks. "It's our turn, then! Death would be too kind to you murderers, so watch as the Hammer of Dawn obliterates what's left of your precious Ark! Initiate launch sequence!" He yelled to another Seran, who nodded and radioed in the command.

Pacman gulped. The Serans weren't currently attacking him, but he had a wounded Rocketman at his side, and there were still far too many for him to take on alone. He had no choice but to stand as a helpless spectator as the Serans used their ultimate weapon that had slain Lugia and would surely be the end of the Ark….

Several minutes passed by, but nothing had changed (other than the continued chaos of battle), and the Seran with the communicator approached his leader with an alarmed expression.

"Um, Commander Fenix, sir…" He cleared his throat. "We've lost all contact with the Hammer of Dawn satellite."

Dominic raised an eyebrow. "That can't be—"

The Serans and Atarians were then graced with another spectacle. A flash of blinding blue from far above preceded the hyperspeed entrance of the Cornerian Fleet. Hundreds of Arwings flocked around the Great Fox and spread out to join the fight. And the Great Fox was dragging behind it the charred remains of what must have once been the Hammer of Dawn satellite's energy core.

Fenix had nothing to say, but Pacman did—with a Walmart Smiley expression.

"It's about time."

* * *

Aboard the Ark's command bridge, several screens flickered to transmit the images of Fox McCloud, Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad, and Captain Dash Bowman.

"Sorry we're late professor," Fox said as he steered his Arwing around a gunship down below.

Gadd's smile couldn't have been wider, and he couldn't have been more relieved. "You've come just in the nick of time, Fox. That Seran superweapon would've been the end of us."

"Yeah," Slippy sighed. "It actually wasn't that hard to destroy; bad guys really oughtta stop marking their weak areas with shiny white spots."

"It was nothin' compared to what we've been through the past few months, let me tell ya," Peppy said. "General Scales and those nasty bounty hunters an' space pirates didn't go down without a fight. It took the combined strength of both Federations _and_ our fleet to drive 'em off."

"Back to the task at hand, then," Dash said, acting the part of serious soldier as always. Gadd let it stand, figuring there would be time for pleasantries later. He nodded.

"Let's see how much fight these Microsians have got left in them before they finally surrender," he said. He hoped that would come sooner rather than later—before one or both armies were completely destroyed.

* * *

Legion whisked itself (or himself…or themselves?) between both Megalandians, swiveling on one foot to floor Proto Man with the barrel of its gun and Bass with its robotic foot. It charged its blaster and just missed Proto Man as he and his friend rolled out of the way to give themselves some distance.

"This isn't working," Proto Man panted. And the appearance of that skyscraper-sized mollusk creature didn't help his morale, either.

Bass gritted his teeth. "Maybe that's because we're holding back. I think it's time man's best friend lent a paw."

He whistled, calling forth his loyal robotic wolf, Treble, who had been rocketing around firing missiles from its back before it landed beside its master.

Proto Man nodded. "Good idea. But unfortunately, I don't have a robot dog to—" Out of nowhere, Rush, Megaman's red robotic dog counterpart, arrived in a similar manner, nuzzling its head against Proto Man's side and glaring at Legion. Proto Man was about to ask Bass how Rush was supposed to Super Adapt with someone other than Megaman, but given the circumstances, he decided to just roll with it.

"We are not afraid of your pets," Legion's electronic voice buzzed with a surprising amount of attitude.

"Oh yeah?" Bass said. "Well, how about this! _SUPER ADAPTER, ACTIVATE!_ " Bass and Proto Man both punched the air with their fists, which inexplicably caused their canine companions to obediently lift into the air and disassemble themselves, their mechanical parts reforming into red wings on Proto Man and purple wings on Bass, blue lightning crackling throughout the process—although whether that actually served a purpose or was just for effect, Legion would never know.

The newly formed Bass and Proto Man rocketed into the air, yelling with pleasure, and then swerved around, firing rocket fists at their enemy. Legion, as swift as it was, could not dodge both attacks, and it was blasted off its feet. It crawled back up, some of its parts charred black, its red eye flickering a couple times.

"That'll teach you!" Bass called. He pointed his arm cannon. "Is that all you've got?"

But Legion, though injured, did not appear intimidated by this recent turn of events. Instead, it became suddenly immobile, and a high-pitched buzzing noise sounded from its head, echoing across the shores of Reach.

"Ow!" Both Proto Man and Bass were stricken with an intense headache. But when they opened their eyes, they realized that head pain was now the least of their worries. All around them, the generic blue Megalandian Robot Soldiers froze, a red light flashing on their foreheads in sync with Legion's eye. The other Robot Masters seemed doubled up with pain the same as their two leaders.

The Megalandian heroes watched as their own soldiers pointed their arm cannons at them, the robots' eyes glazed over.

"We are Legion," Legion said—except it was not only the voice of the robot who had performed its AI Hacking ability, but the voices of the hundreds of Megalandian troops.

Bass looked as if he'd just been demoted to a custodial bot. "Okay, maybe I _don't_ want all they've got."

* * *

Sonic, Crash, and Spyro circled around the Spartan Commander's Scorpion tanks, lashing out with spinning kicks and orange tornado strikes and bursts of scarlet fire. Lasers and gunfire came at them from all sides of the ring of tanks, but the three All-Stars were too quick, too experienced to be preyed upon that easily.

Sonic swerved toward the center, pushing off of the head of one Spartan with his foot to land directly on top of one of the tanks. In the ensuing confusion, he managed to dash into the hatch, throw out the pilot and gunman who were inside, and use the four grenades he'd snatched from their utility belts to rig the vehicle from the inside. All in a few seconds' work.

"Fire in the hole!" He yelled as he rolled out and used one of his spontaneously generated red springboards to catapult himself out of harm's way. A second later, the Scorpion exploded.

Spyro employed a much simpler technique on his designated tank: He swooped out of the way of several of the tank's heavy blasts, flew directly up to the nozzle, and exhaled a particularly strong, concentrated torrent of flames into the tank. It ignited similarly to Sonic's tank, albeit with a less complete explosion, merely ceasing to function as several key parts were blasted from its heart.

Crash had a bit more difficulty with the last tank, for he found his way barred by the blue-armored Spartan Commander, who wielded a thick gray Gravity Hammer.

"It's unfortunate you Sonians don't remember the good memories we've had together," he said. He raised his weapon, causing it to draw Crash's spinning body toward him like an _Accio_ spell. He swung the heavy object down onto the bandicoot's head, knocking Crash onto his back. "Using your Robot Masters to storm Delfino…your dragons to burn the Waffle Kingdom…your walking nukes to send DK Isle to the bottom of the ocean. Maybe then, you wouldn't be foolish enough to think you could turn on us."

Crash struggled to get back up, but he couldn't; the Gravity Hammer was pushing him against the ground, as if he were a screw stuck on Ratchet's magnetic OmniWrench. He braced himself for the next skull-crushing blow.

"How's this for a good memory?" Sonic bowled the commander to the ground, taking the Gravity Hammer with him. He turned and pointed the weapon at the Spartan leader, pretending he knew how to use it. "The only reason we helped you torch Nintendo was because you forced us to with our friends and family at gunpoint. You're never gonna give us orders ever again!"

Spyro swooped by and lifted Crash to his feet. They eyed the last tank and nodded to each other.

"Flame on, dude," Crash said. He began spinning like a Tasmanian devil once more, and as he did so, the dragon fed the twister a small stream of flames, turning Crash into a fiery tornado.

And it was that fiery tornado that proceeded to spin around the tank, taking down all the remaining Spartans besides those in the Scorpion itself.

At the same time, before the commander could lunge for the Gravity Hammer, Sonic pointed it at the tank experimentally, and to his surprise, it lifted off the ground in accordance with his raised arms, as if he were casting a _Wingardium Leviosa_ charm.

"Whoops," he said unrepentantly, as the tank inadvertently flipped over, coughing out the two Spartans inside like coins out of a piggy bank. He slowly directed the hammer over toward the stunned commander. "Hope that suit of yours comes with insurance!"

He brought the Scorpion down on top of the Spartan's body.

* * *

Sly Cooper, Ratchet and Clank, and Jak and Daxter regrouped behind a rocky ledge on the beach, all of them exhausted. Daxter was crumpled in Jak's hands, severely wounded after taking a bullet to the stomach and falling some thirty feet into the sand. Clank's battered body hovered ever so slightly just to catch a glimpse of the wall of BattleMechs headed their way.

"We can't take 'em all," Sly said, trying not to cry out from the pain of his injured shoulder, which he was holding with his other hand. "Not even with all our air and land forces."

Jak narrowed his eyes, channeling as much Light Eco as he could into his dear friend's body. "Then if we can't win, we'll go down making their victory as painful as possible."

But Ratchet felt a bit less enthusiastic about rushing to his death. He gripped his OmniWrench with frustration. "There's gotta be a better way! Sure, we timbered a couple of those tin cans, but it'd take a—"

A line of missiles soared over their heads, colliding with Wolf's Dragoons and the other BattleMechs like a flock of explosive kamikaze geese. The eyes of the All-Stars followed the missiles to their source as a blur followed shortly behind the missiles, laying on a second wave of artillery as it flew in and out of the Mechs. It launched a particularly well-aimed shot at the neck of a yellow Vulture Mech that toppled it to the ground, severing its legs from the rest of its mechanical body. The gray-winged jet swerved and spun and glided, effortlessly avoiding every single retaliatory missile the other Mechs sent at it.

Sly gawped at the newcomers: a swarm of jets converging expertly on the Mechs and Spartan gunships. "Could it be...?"

Ratchet smirked. "Sure is, guy. It seems Cipher's finally brought his Strangerealean compadres out of retirement."

* * *

The entire crew of the _Normandy_ had been enraptured by Princess Peach's speech. She, Perry, Rayman, Tiny, and Lanky were still frozen by Ashley William's Mass Effect manipulation. Commander Shepard's face was like a stone carving that had begun, ever so slightly, to come back to life.

"If what you say is true, Princess Peach," he said finally after a long silence, "then this war's roots are even more sinister than we thought." He clenched his left fist; the Omni-Tool attached to his wrist activated, projecting what appeared to be a scarlet hologram of a dagger extending over his hand. Only, Perry had a sinking feeling that it was no hologram. "But how do I know you're not lying just to turn us against our own kind?"

"I—" Peach faltered. Her heart sank. "You don't…you just have to trust us."

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "Sorry, princess…but that's not good enough. Unless you can prove your world's not responsible for the attack on our Citadel, the Capital Ship's going to do what it was made for." He walked toward them with his Omni-Blade raised. "But since you've all come so far and tried so hard, as a consolation prize I'll be happy to put you out of your misery so you don't have to watch all your friends die."

"Wait!" Perry yelled. He tried to move, but the Biotic's Mass Effect field was too strong. "Let me…show you!"

Shepard eyed the talking parasol suspiciously, then nodded to Ashley. She waved a hand and released Perry…but no one else.

Peach looked at her friend inquisitively, but Perry returned it with a bright smile. "Don't worry…I've got a good feeling about this!"

They watched in confusion, but then in awe as the yellow umbrella floated out of Peach's hand, twirling all on its own. Perry winked at his friends as he tilted himself so that the handle was pointed toward everyone on the command bridge, only the umbrella's spinning underside visible.

Perry opened himself out. He had no idea how he knew this would work; he just somehow knew that it would. He felt the same way he had when he'd dozed off and dreamt of his mysterious origin story, only this time he felt more in control; this time, he was about to reveal a very particular memory, though even he didn't know what it would be.

Perry's underside became a sort of screen of its own, revealing a jarring scene to his audience.

War. Violence. Bodies blurred together as they clashed against each other with fist and blade and bullet and flame. So much was happening that Shepard could just barely make out the armies battling in some kind of tropical beach environment. And there they were, from the perspective of Perry being swung in Peach's hands: the Nintendonians with their thousands, the Sonians with their thousands, and the Microsians with their thousands.

Only…

They weren't fighting each other.

They were all fighting someone— _something_ —else.

Perry's dream was too indistinct to make out clearly, but the armies of all three worlds were combating some kind of mass of purple creatures. Purple creatures that Peach recognized—not as Master Hand's Wire Frames, but as something she vaguely recalled from a picture she'd seen once…was it a stained-glass window?

Shepard, on the other hand, knew exactly where he remembered these shadowy, polygonal beings: They were the ones who had massacred his capital, leaving thousands dead. Yet if they had been sent from Nintendo as the Master Chief had said…

…then why were the Nintendonians fighting them, too?

"All right."

At the commander's word, Perry closed himself and floated back to Peach's hand. Ashley released the rest of them from their Mass Effect-induced paralysis, and Shepard's Omni-Blade sheathed itself. He strode back to the front and sat decisively in his captain's chair.

"Call off all Systems Alliance fighters," he barked into the ship's communication system. He noticed Legion controlling an army of Megalandian robots below. "Legion, the Nintendonians are not our real enemy. Cease and desist." Finally, he swiveled his chair toward the towering Capital Ship, which was seconds away from blasting Nintendo's and Sony's forces to smithereens. "Deactivate the Reaper. We've made a terrible mistake. Prepare to defend against the rest of the Spartans."

One of the crewmembers started pounding his keyboard frantically.

"Captain!" he hollered in a strong Scottish accent. "Reach has overridden our control over the Capital Ship; we can't shut it off…"

Shepard's stone face now took on a gray pallor, one that his crew hadn't seen since their entire race had been threatened by Saren Arterius. "In that case," he said, turning to Peach with grinding pain in his eyes, "it's too late. I'm sorry…there's nothing we can do. Your friends don't have a prayer of surviving…"

But to his surprise, the corner of Peach's mouth lifted in a small, sweet smile. "Oh, I think we at least have that."

* * *

The Capital Ship's attack could only be described as a white-hot kraken, lashing out to incinerate anything it deemed fit. The Redwood-sized tendrils of Mass Effect energy began creeping from the Reaper's bright red eyes, reaching down toward their helpless victims.

Suddenly, the clouds parted to reveal a deep midnight blue sky—just through a small segment of space. And from that segment surged a pink beam as thick as the Reaper itself, consuming the entire weapon before its deadly strike could do its work. It exploded with the force of a meteorite, though all the shrapnel that should have killed Nintendonian, Sonian, and Microsian alike was transformed into twinkling stars, ushering in the entrance of the Seven Star Spirits of the Mushroom Kingdom, which descended in a ring around the circumference of their magnificent Peach Beam. The last time they had performed such a feat had been the Star Storm in Fourside City, but the Peach Beam, empowered by the strength of Princess Peach's wish (accompanied by those who wished and believed in goodness with her), _that_ hadn't been seen since Mario had triumphed over Bowser's Star Rod form. And now, as it had before, the Peach Beam had prevented an event of Mass (Effect) Destruction.


	22. Chapter 16: Mass Destruction (2)

"Why are you doing this?" Diddy still hoped he might wake up from all of this, a terrible, traitorous dream. The Tediz were on standby, ready to kill him, Snake, Falcon, Samus, and Sackboy on Conker's command, while other Tediz had already engaged Kameo and her elves back at the Falcon Flyer, and the Spartan frigate steadily approached the palace. "Conker…we're friends!"

The squirrel chittered. "Friends? I hate to break it to ya, Diddy old pal, but I've loathed you from day one. From the moment that foolish genie coerced me into joining Timber's Island's stupid racing league, I knew I'd made a mistake—" He strummed his fingers along the barrel of his Gatling gun, caressing it like a newborn babe. "—turning away from my roots: guns; bombs; the joys of war; all left behind in the Willow Woods, and for what? A pathetic group of islands full of imbeciles who'd rather shoot bubbles and eggs and coconuts at each other rather than actual, beautiful, lethal bullets!"

He began pacing. "But as if that weren't bad enough, there was even a small moment when I thought I could be one of you. One of your merry-go-round-riding plush parade. Somehow, you made me believe I could find some kind of lame happiness without the war that I crave…but you were wrong. I was a mediocre cart driver, an amateur hovercraft racer, a laughable airplane pilot. _Every_ race, you tried to raise my hopes…but every race ended in humiliation. You convinced me to waste my time firing toy missiles when I could've been launching wonderful deadly ones.

"What really made me hate you, though, Diddy, was that you made the idea of abandoning _your_ roots—killing Kremlings and Gnawties and Zingers—seem popular and cool. You almost always won the tournaments, standing on your self-righteous pedestal of peaceful bull crap and basking in the blind adulation of Timber's fluff circus." He pointed his finger directly at Diddy. " _You're_ the traitor here; not me."

The Kong was almost at a loss for speech. But seeing their dire situation, he knew he had to keep Conker talking, and at least try to ignore the heart-wrenching pain of the squirrel's betrayal. "Okay, I get it. You like violence and Taj's tournaments just didn't do it for you. But how've you been telling Master Hand what we've been doing both in Sony and Nintendo at the same time? And how did you get here? You jumped into that gunship after Niko with guns blazing. Is he…?"

"The half-wit wannabe pirate?" Conker snickered. "Nah, he's dead all right. I just had to put on enough of a show to convince you all I actually cared about your precious _King's Krystal_. The same charade I put on since our ridiculous voyage began.

"As for how I kept tabs on all of your Smash Brothers at once, I had some help from that visionary scientist, Professor Reeka. He had one of his R.A.W.s infiltrate his naïve cousin's R.O.B.s. And when that imbecilic computer ambassador, L.O.G., sustained damage in Dreamland, he had his R.A.W. add something a little… _extra_ …to L.O.G.'s hard drive."

"A camera," Diddy said, his heart thumping dreadfully.

Conker nodded. "Bingo. Over by Rapture, L.O.G. and your Smash Brothers _still_ don't realize we've got a mobile eye right in the middle of their ranks. Just another reason why I was glad to be rid of the Smash Brothers' stupid leaders. I mean, it was fun coming over to Nintendo to fight those Wire Frames for a bit back in the day, but otherwise, you Nintendonians are seriously lacking in the exciting carnage department. So when the Master Chief offered me all the violence I could ever want, I knew it would be the chance of a lifetime." He glanced at the Tediz to each side with a wicked grin. "Even if it meant fighting alongside a few of my old enemies. So…here we are, Diddy. Time to die." He raised his gun.

A huge shadow passed over all of them—both heroes and Willow Woods natives. From above the onion dome roof of the Moon Deity's palace, what looked suspiciously like and was in fact a giant ball of blue yarn began rolling down toward the assembled soldiers below. Before all of them could get out of the way, the ball crushed several Tediz, muffling their screams, and continued on its path.

Then, from within the cracks of the canyon on either side, what appeared to be gorilla-like yarn monsters of diverse colors crawled onto the plateau, using strings of yarn to yank Tediz and their weapons off the edge of the cliff. Shouts and gunfire ensued.

Snake looked down with a smile at Sackboy, who was standing there with an expression that gave nothing away.

"Good timing, soldier."

He, Samus, and Captain Falcon rushed forward to join the fray, while Sackboy appeared to be concentrating on controlling all of his imaginative craft monsters.

That left Diddy and Conker.

Diddy had been saving his last resource for the direst of straits, but now he felt that moment had come. With two _pops_ , his Rocket Barrel jetpack boosted him into the air, even as he drew his Peanut Popguns and fired a trio of nuts at his former friend.

In response, Conker dodged all three of the homing peanuts in turn, and he screamed something profane up at Diddy and, to the chimp's astonishment, sped toward the nearest giant ball of yarn. The squirrel scrabbled his way to the top of the rolling yarn and, without a moment's hesitation, cast himself off the top—grabbing onto Diddy's foot.

Diddy cried out and tried to shake himself free, but Conker's little claws dug into him like a vise as the warmongering rodent squealed with hatred. The Kong didn't completely fall out of the sky, but his course was thrown off considerably as they blasted off together across the Vigoorian canyons.

As they tumbled through the air, one of the Rocket Barrels ignited Conker's tail. But he just screamed with even greater madness, vowing to slaughter Diddy in the most gruesomely painful way imaginable.

 _He really has lost his nuts,_ Diddy thought. _What kind of sociopathic—_

The shot from Conker's Gatling gun successfully punctured one of the Rocket Barrels, sending them on a sudden spiraling plummet toward the ground, the wind battering Diddy's face and fur like the thunderstorm on _The King's Krystal._ He was sure their imminent impact would be the death of both of them.

But it wasn't, for the spot the jetpack had chosen to deposit them was a deep sand dune at the edge of a much, much deeper chasm, so deep that it might as well have been a black hole. An inhuman clicking noise echoed from within.

The Pit of Obaba.

The explosion of sand upon impact was enough to give Diddy time to regain his balance and shake the sand out of his fur and his eyes, while Conker took a moment to extinguish his flaming tail. But just a few seconds later, they were face to face once more; the only difference this time was that both Diddy's and Conker's weapons had been demolished by the crash—and that Conker looked even more insane than before—rabid, even.

"DIE!"

Diddy barely had time to backflip out of the way of Conker's frontal assault, landing deftly at the top of the dune, now just ten feet or so away from the edge of the pit. As he heard the beast's ravenous scratching far below, he gulped, wondering whether death by Conker might actually be the better option at this point.

Conker demonstrated equal agility as he bounced up the hill and met the Kong with his foot. Diddy somehow managed to catch it, flinging him over Diddy's head onto his other side. Conker rushed him again, and then they fought in earnest—fist and foot, tail and tooth. Diddy had no time to think about what he was doing—he just did it.

Conker's aggressiveness kept Diddy on the defensive, steadily pushing him back toward the plank from which the Microsian sacrifices were offered to the spider creature inside.

Diddy cried out as Conker spun and caught him in the face with his bushy red squirrel tail, knocking him off his feet—and onto the plank itself. He backed away from his assailant as far as he could until he could go no further in any direction, the chasm surrounding him on all sides except the one on which Conker now approached him slowly, his bucktoothed grin scarier than the wackiest of clown killers, clutching a knife that he'd apparently pulled out sometime during their hand-to-hand fight. He stepped onto the plank.

"You don't have to do this, Conker!" Diddy breathed. "There's still time; come back and help us stop the Master Chief. Come back to the Conker I once knew."

Conker spat and took another step forward. "That Conker's dead and buried. Bloodshed is all I know and all I enjoy. Have fun having your limbs torn apart and your marrow sucked from your bones!"

Despite Diddy's last attempt at diplomacy, Conker advanced quickly with his knife raised. What the squirrel hadn't counted on was the banana peel Diddy had subtly snuck onto the plank at the last moment. He screamed and slipped, just barely grabbing onto the edge of the board with his free hand, the wooden plank wobbling precariously as if it were teasing Obaba with her next meal.

Diddy sat up and walked up to Conker. He should just leave him to his fate…but he couldn't. That was what separated heroes—what separated Smash Brothers and All-Stars—from the likes of Conker and Master Chief: compassion.

"Drop the knife and take my hand," he said, reaching down to his fallen friend.

It was then that he and Conker shared a moment of time-freezing eye contact, as if Diddy could see through the windows of Conker's large blue eyes into the tormented soul underneath, one that had long since grown numb to feeling pain—for either himself or anyone else.

Conker's free hand began to move up toward Diddy's, the grip on his knife loosening…

And then the squirrel used the plank as a springboard, propelling himself over the edge and above Diddy's head. He gave a savage holler as he plunged his knife toward the Kong while he fell.

Diddy ducked and rolled his entire body underneath the plank, holding onto it like a rat under a drainpipe. All he saw was Conker's body continue down past the other side, having no target to stab, the momentum carrying him directly into the darkness of the pit. Diddy's last image of Conker was of the fear that introduced itself into his manic expression, the knife flying out of his hand as his echo faded into the blackness along with his body.

Because his hands were too busy hanging onto the plank for dear life, Diddy was unable to plug his ears to spare himself the grisly sounds that followed: first Conker's faded screaming, then the rapid clicking of Obaba and a heavy scurrying noise, then, a few seconds later, a horrible crunch, followed by a sucking sound that would haunt Diddy as long as he lived.

* * *

"We're trapped," Roy grunted after pushing in vain against the stone wall that had sealed them inside the Great Moon Deity's palace.

Falco sniffed, grimacing at the sour odor of the still, acrid air. "Well, it's not much of a palace, but it's not like we came all this way just to turn back now, anyway."

"The bird is right," Prince Peasley said, drawing his rapier in predictable fashion. "There is nowhere to go but onward!"

"Quiet," Meta Knight said in his deep and ironically resonant voice. His glowing yellow eyes flickered across the passage in front of them.

"This is strange…" Joanna looked down the narrow stone passageway, which was lit by candles mounted on creepy golden heads along the walls. The fat, porcine head was not familiar to her or her companions, though to many Nintendonians and Islanders, it would have been very familiar indeed. "There's no one here."

"Keep close." Shadow led them down the deserted corridor, the eight heroes' shadows flickering off the walls like restless spirits. He and Joanna peer around the corner of the T-intersection in either direction.

But they were both dead ends.

"We must be missing something," Ness said. He remembered facing a similar problem when he and other Smash Brothers had infiltrated Master Hand's Fortress.

"Wait…"

Joanna approached the wall directly before them, whose ancient clay bricks at first appeared to be arranged at random, but the longer she stared at it, a familiar shape—a familiar symbol—became distinct. "Do any of you have something to write with?"

"Yoshi!" The green dinosaur, out of nowhere, produced a rainbow-spotted egg. He picked up a jagged stone from the corner of the wall, dipped it in one of the spots, and handed it to Joanna.

"So that's why I always have to strain paint out of my feathers after the Smash Tournaments," Falco said. "You've been throwing freakin' rainbow eggs at me!"

Yoshi smiled sheepishly as Joanna traced the symbol with her finger between the cracks of the bricks. Finally satisfied, she stepped back and allowed the rest of them to view her handiwork.

It looked like a thick, slanted letter "R" without the straight line on the left. Yoshi's rainbow paint made it shine in a way that gave it an almost sacred quality—a holy beauty.

"The symbol of RareWare," Joanna explained, frowning. Suddenly, the faces on the candle brackets did seem familiar, as if nagging at her from a suppressed memory. "Only, I don't know why it's here, in this palace; RareWare's influence never extended as far down as Vigoor. Unless the Great Moon Deity…"

"…is connected to RareWare somehow," Meta Knight finished.

Before they could speculate further, the RareWare symbol began to shine in earnest, the outline filling itself into a white light that caused even the most tolerant eye to turn away. It then rotated itself like a keyhole, and the wall split itself in two and scraped apart, causing clouds of debris to blow into the heroes' faces so that by the time they were able to blink the dirt out of their eyes and behold the vast chamber beyond, the sliding wall was completely gone.

It was nothing short of magnificent. The room ran at least a hundred feet in each direction, the silver walls curving up toward the exquisite domed ceiling. A lustrous red carpet covered much of the milky white marble floor, while jade pillars held up the Baroque-style arches placed periodically around the room's perimeter. Four huge, rather thickset golden statues stood watch from each corner, the same faces from the torches all pointed toward the massive throne at the center, its cushioned backrest towering at least twenty or thirty feet as if it were built for a giant.

It might have been easier for the heroes to appreciate the opulence of this shrine or throne room (it was hard to tell which) had it not been for its occupants. Those occupants being Professor U. Reeka and a dozen Hayabusa ninjas. The throne itself was empty, and strangely enough, Reeka had been looking up at it as if someone had just recently vanished from its massive seat.

Even with the newcomers' Cloaking Devices activated so they could see each other while only appearing as blurs to everyone else, Reeka seemed to sense their presence. He turned and squinted behind his diamond-framed glasses in their direction, his expression that of a hungry panther.

"Secure the Deconstructor downstairs," he hissed to a few of the ninjas. His snarl loosened into a much more unsettling smile. "It appears we have company."

The heroes watched as half of the Hayabusa warriors filed down a winding staircase on the right side of the room, while the rest formed themselves on either side of Reeka, prepared to pounce at a moment's notice. The professor, meanwhile, began to walk slowly, almost casually, in the newcomers' direction.

Silently, Joanna inclined her head toward the staircase, and she, followed closely by Shadow, Peasley, and Meta Knight, began making their way along the right wall. The other four, however, remained rooted in place—four Smashers finally face to face with one of their greatest enemies: the one who had helped devise Master Hand's murderous Wire Frames; who had used the Original 25's DNA to create evil metal clones of each of them; who had taken a number of Nintendonian creatures and fused them to create unnatural, grotesque hybrid monsters. The one who had masterminded much of the destruction wrought by Nightmare's armies.

Ness, Yoshi, Roy, and Falco turned to each other and nodded. Falco waved off the other four, who had been waiting for them. The Smashers' place was here: between Reeka and the worlds he sought to harm.

The scientist paused and sighed, staring right at the entrance where the Smashers stood, appearing oblivious to those sneaking around the edge. "You cannot hide from me, Smash Brothers," he said. "The Carrington Institute's Cloaking Devices are impressive, yes, but no match for my tech."

He produced a wide-nozzled gun and fired an arch of red energy, which came at the Smashers so fast that they were blasted off their feet, their figures flickering back into visibility for the rest of Reeka's minions to see.

Reeka giggled. "Well, well, well. So these are the champions my beloved cousin sends to stop me: a tiny tween, a plushy lizard, a bird-brained pilot, and a homeless swordsman. I trust the rest of your friends outside are being entertained?"

"What did you do to them?" Roy gripped his Binding Blade as tightly as he ever had.

"You think your precious leader, Elvin Gadd, is a saint, don't you?" Reeka paced before the throne, ignoring Roy's demand. "You think your Smash Brothers are innocent in this great conflict. Well, allow me to shed some light on the truth: Nintendo is as corrupt as the other worlds! Even now, there are those among your allies who are loyal us. And as for Elvin…" He chuckled again. "There are things I could tell you that would change how you see him forever."

"You're wrong!" Ness yelled, PSI energy sparking at his fingertips. "Professor Gadd is one of the best leaders we've ever had. He's only ever had Nintendo's best interests at heart."

"Is that so?" Reeka extended an arm, and from his wristwatch a holographic _King's Krystal_ projected itself. "Then tell me, boy…did you really think he sent your little crew on a dingy wooden boat because Sony wouldn't have received you otherwise?"

"Yoshi!" the dinosaur said, which meant something along the lines of "What are you saying?"

"To him, as well as me, all your silly adventures are nothing but one giant experiment. Your lives matter to him about as much as germ cells in a petri dish. He only sent you on such a primitive boat because he wanted to learn everything about the ocean between the worlds…" He turned his gaze to Falco. "Which obviously wouldn't have been possible if you'd all flown there in your spaceships—even though that would've taken less than a day compared to your two weeks of sailing, of sacrificed crew members and of deadly storm chasing." He clapped his hands with twisted delight. "And don't even get me started on our childhood. All the wonderfully horrible experiments we used to do together…He was even more into them than I was back then, and whatever he might have told you, we designed the volcano that burned down the Twilight Forest as a team. No…the difference between him and me is that he keeps the monster hidden inside…while I openly embrace what I am!"

Falco actually appeared ruffled by Reeka's words about the _Krystal._ "Even if all that's true, Professor Wrinkles," he said, drawing his blaster, "we're still gonna blast you and your machines to kingdom come!"

"Your minions do not frighten us," Roy said, flames rippling along the edge of his sword.

"If they don't," Reeka said, "perhaps this will." His body duplicated itself into a small army of goopy paint clones, all of them aiming their watches at the four heroes.

* * *

Meanwhile, Joanna, Shadow, Peasley, and Meta Knight followed the other ninjas downstairs into the palace's basement, which looked very different from the shiny chamber above.

It was like an underground hangar, with the black spider egg-like domes filling most of the rock-hewn chamber. The ninjas filed in a militaristic line down a series of narrow winding trails with a steep drop on either side, not noticing the Cloaked figures following close behind. R.A.W.s, identical in appearance to Gadd's R.O.B.s besides their different color palettes, milled about the facility doing busywork, moving metal objects or operating on control panels scattered around the black domes' perimeters.

The ninjas led them unwittingly into the biggest of the domes. The automatic door slid shut behind the intruders, and there they beheld the heart of what Reeka called the Deconstructor.

Where the Metal Gear had once been (which these particular heroes had never seen), an intricate array of wires and chrome panels formed what looked like an enormous satellite dish—only, somehow it had a distinctly dangerous air about it that was rather more ominous than that of a television or radio transmitter. And surrounding it were hundreds of R.A.W.s, buzzing around like a hive with the Deconstructor as their queen.

The four of them stood there, staring at the machine.

 _This thing could sink the entire Nintendo World._

But even as they were about to step forward, a goopy Reeka clone rose from the ground in front of the device and gave the dreaded command.

"It's time; commence Deconstruction!"

It slipped back into the ground, but that was hardly reassuring, because the R.A.W.s then began assembling themselves around the Deconstructor, many of them plugging their peg-like arms into slots around the base—like keys inserted simultaneously into the launch panel of a nuclear warhead.

The inside of the dome began to flash red, and an ominous beeping "countdown" began.  
"Now!" Joanna yelled.

She rushed toward the Deconstructor, drawing two pistols and firing one after another at the R.A.W.s' heads. Those behind her followed suit: Meta Knight swooped down upon them with stabs and slashes of Galaxia; Peasley swallowed a blue Speed Bean, which caused him to fight at nearly twice his normal speed; Shadow curled into a black-and-red ball and bowled into the robot army, kicking heads and bouncing off of his enemies to escape the red lasers shooting from some of their eye bulbs.

They began to chip away at the outer circle of R.A.W.s, but the inner ones—those plugged into the Deconstructor—turned both their arms in the machine as if they were turning the wheel of a car; except, in this case they were activating a continent-destroying bomb from hundreds of miles away.

Shadow brought all the force his spinning body could muster down upon the robotic arms stuck in the sockets, but they would not break or budge. Meta Knight, who had skipped over the R.A.W.s to reach the inner circle as well, found them equally immovable.

"This isn't working," Shadow grunted.

Then, as if matters couldn't be made worse, a cluster of R.A.W.s fused together to form a Giant R.A.W., its green, black, and yellow armor towering over them like a mechanical mountain troll.

At the same time, the ground shook; the Deconstructor's enormous satellite dish glowed an unwholesome green; and the heroes were almost knocked off their feet as a titanic, invisible signal began pulsing through the black dome, through the ground and the palace, and across Microsoft and the ocean and the Islands toward its target: Nintendo. In just a few seconds, Reeka's cataclysmic machine had been signaled to begin its terrible work.

The four heroes were forced to continue fighting, but that couldn't stop Meta Knight's anguished exclamation.

"We are too late…"


	23. Chapter 17: Bounty Hunting

Chapter 17: Bounty Hunting

* * *

 _ **A**_ Waddle Dee stabbed his spear into the ocean, skewering a Blipper on the end. He turned to his fellows with his catch raised triumphantly—only to find them racing back up the beach into the safety of the palm trees. Even the Kanies had dug their way to the sandy surface and were scurrying to higher ground. And it was not hard to see why.

The Waddle Dee fell face first into the shallows as a tremendous vibration shook the very ground he stood on. The Blipper freed itself from his spear and dove back into the water as he stood up and hopped with alarm. The water, somehow, was getting deeper. Was the tide rising?

No. He looked at the shore of his beloved Nintendo and saw that it was slowly sinking. Even now, the beach was beginning to disappear below the surface, the rocky remains of Dedede's Castle succumbing to the encroaching ocean.

He dropped his spear and stumbled in a panic after the others.

* * *

Princess Daisy had been spending a relaxing afternoon tanning on Sirena Beach on the northern coast of Delfino Island when the tremor began.

"Huh?"

She sat up and removed her sunglasses, ignoring the Cataquacks, all of which kept their distance from her ever since she'd floored one with a golf club.

The island itself was not shaking, but she could see clearly that something was going on with the shore of the Mushroom Kingdom in the distance. It was as if the entire continent were a giant jackhammer, drilling itself into the ocean.

She forced a laugh at that thought; what a ridiculous idea. Still, her mind couldn't help but speculate what would happen next: The Nintendo World would be swallowed up in the sea. And then the remaining islands would be subject to a tidal wave the likes of which no one had ever seen.

She shrugged and lay back down, basking in the innocent sun.

* * *

The Beanbean Castle Town was in a panic. The vibrations were causing building foundations to crack, threatening to crush the entire capital like a peanut. The great green dome of Beanbean Castle shook like an egg ready to hatch.

Queen Bean struggled to maintain order among her soldiers, bellowing orders to retreat to the open fields outside of the city walls where they would surely be safe from this sudden earthquake.

* * *

Hyrule Castle Town faced a similar dilemma. With both princess and hero gone, the stewardship over the people fell upon the captain of the royal guard. He and his soldiers did their best to usher the townsfolk across the drawbridge and away from the stone walls and wooden structures that could collapse on top of them at any moment.

They were half expecting Ganondorf to appear, such was the intensity of the earthquake. People screamed and children ran between their parents' legs, hauling stray Cuccos. A few thieves took advantage of the moment to ransack abandoned houses. But the guards had no attention to give to crime; survival was their primary concern now.

* * *

Mute City faced the immediate effects of the continent's slow submersion. As high-tech as the enormous metropolis was, it was not prepared for the rising water that soon began flooding down its streets, rushing into clubs and restaurants and hotels and fueling stations. The city's power was shut down either as a result of the water or because someone had shut it off on purpose to avoid mass electrocution.

F-Zero racers hopped into their vehicles and rushed as many people as they could to the safety of higher ground. Parties and races were immediately cancelled to attend to the disaster. Even Samurai Goroh and his gang didn't waste any time retreating in their racers like a pack of metal wolves, putting as much distance as possible between themselves and the watery deep.

* * *

Funky and Candy Kong watched the phenomenon from the canopy of the Kongo Jungle, staring at the spot where their friends had dived down to prevent this very thing from happening.

"What' goin' on down there, man?" Funky wondered out loud.

Loose coconuts fell from the trees below them, rolling onto the beach or cracking against rocks, spilling their milky entrails.

"Whatever it is, hun," Candy said, "we should get your Flyer ready, just in case...you know."

Suddenly, Funky had a flashing memory of DK Isle, as the Kong family flew away on Bowser's airships and the Funky Flyer, their island shaking and sinking just like Nintendo was now. Only, that had been on a much smaller scale. His muscular gorilla body trembled, and not from the earthquake.

"This is the end," he said.

* * *

Far below the sea near the continental ridge, the aquatic R.A.W.s contended with the Smash Brothers—Pokémon, islanders, Zoras, and the rest. Even as the Deconstructor Core caused the black metal vein running in either direction to glow an angry red and slowly eat into the rock, the heroes could do nothing but fend for their own lives and hope the vein stopped short of exploding—although judging by the way the vein's glow was beginning to progress toward a deadly white, such an explosion seemed likely. And once that happened, all would be lost.

From around the bend, a newcomer made a dramatic entrance. Enguarde, the azure blue swordfish native to the waters bordering the jungle, impaled a R.A.W. through its eye sockets, flicked the decommissioned robot off his sword-like nose, and swam slickly between the fighters, eliciting cheers from his allies as he evaded and then struck down one R.A.W. after another.

Meanwhile, Bomberman and Princess Ruto swam over to Link, Zelda, and April with grim expressions. The explosives expert gesticulated hopelessly back toward the embedded Metal Gear.

"There's nothing we can do to stop it," Ruto interpreted. "Our friends in Microsoft are Nintendo's only—" Her eyes widened as she saw a bright laser coming from behind the Hylians.

"Link, watch out!"

She torpedoed herself in the beam's path and pushed the Hero of Time away, and the next thing Link saw was the Zora floating motionlessly, a large hole burned through her chest, blood seeping into the water around her.

"Ruto!" He cried, stroking up to her, oblivious to the battle around him. He put his hands behind her back and head even though such support underwater was unnecessary.

Her surprisingly mature features softened as she raised a hand and brushed it against Link's cheek.

"Take care of that princess of yours," she whispered. And then she was gone.

* * *

On the Rapturian front, the Smash Brothers were gaining the upper hand. With the arrival of the Cornerian Fleet, they had the Pandorans, Serans, and Rapturians on the run. Smashers soared on their weaponized F-Zero vehicles; Pokémon and Magikoopas and Timber's Island racers and Jinjos combined their strength with the Ark's ballistics to push the enemy back—both the airborne and naval kind.

"Do you really think they'll surrender?" Gadd asked Ryu Hayabusa as they stood in the Ark's command bridge together with L.O.G. and Dr. Clash and watched the chaos below. A Smart Bomb detonated and engulfed another Pandoran cruiser while Humba Wumba was still using the Ark's Big One gas cloud to vaporize clusters of enemies at once.

Ryu nodded. "The Microsians are loyal, but not suicidal. They should soon realize there is no further need to fight—unless they have another trick up their sleeve we have yet to see..."

"Well, here's hoping those sleeves are trickless," Dr. Clash said.

* * *

"Marcus." Dominic Santiago put a gruff hand on his companion's shoulder. Fenix was still dumbstruck by the havoc being wrought by the Cornerian Fleet, including the loss of the Seran superweapon, the Hammer of Dawn.

The other C.O.G. soldiers had sprung back into action, rushing to anti-aircraft cannons aboard the battleship or firing their Lancers straight into the sky, yelling and screaming when a single Arwing laser rocked the boat and scorched a large spot on the deck. The only ones who remained on the far side of the deck away from the action were Pacman and the injured Rocketman, both of whom knew they were helpless to fight any longer.

Finally, Fenix wrenched his gaze away from the Great Fox and looked his old friend square in the eye. "What?"

Dominic's expression was not one of resignation, but of an odd tranquility, of understanding. "We are outgunned, brother. We must lay down our arms so the lives of our remaining men may be spared."

"Coward!" Fenix shoved Dominic away, his pent-up anger coming to a peak that was uncharacteristic even for him. "We cannot give in; we _must_ not lose to these fiends. Think of what they've done to us!"

"Think of what we've done to _them_ , brother," Dominic said. "Look at them." He pointed toward Pacman and Rocketman, who stared back at them. "I no longer feel certain that our people, that Master Chief has been acting in the right. What if we are on the wrong side of this war?"

" _Traitor!_ " Fenix raised his Lancer and pointed it at Dominic now, his temper depriving him of much of his sense. Too many terrible memories filled his mind, filled him with nothing but rage. "If you refuse to avenge our dead, then you'll be arraigned in court at the mercy of the Chief's judgment, of the Great Moon Deity's wrath." He aimed and fired two shots at Pacman and Rocketman.

Just in the nick of time, a pixelated Centipede streaked in front of the two Atarians, shielding them from Fenix's bullets. Pacman and Rocketman climbed onto the Centipede's back as it bore them away out of the battleship's reach.

Fenix howled and began shooting haphazardly into the sky as he yelled to the rest of his men. "Press your attack; we fight 'till the last man!"

* * *

The Seven Star Spirits of the Mushroom Kingdom hovered down toward the _Normandy_ as the Peach Beam dissipated, leaving the demolished Reaper to collapse on Reach's shore with deafening impact.

From behind the tinted window, Princess Peach smiled beside Perry, Tiny Kong, Lanky Kong, Rayman, Commander Shepard, Ashley Williams, and the rest of the shuttle's crew.

"Thank you for answering my prayer, Star Spirits."

Eldstar, the mustachioed leader of the Star Spirits, chuckled. "You should know well by now that your wish alone wasn't enough to call us down like this. We heard the wishes of thousands of your people across the planet, and the Star Rod granted us the strength to overcome that mollusk creature. But your thinking of us, princess, was what brought us here and allowed us to come to your aid once again."

"I hate to break it to you," Tiny said, pointing at the armies converging on the Spartan gunships, tanks, and infantry below. "But this isn't over yet."

Eldstar and the other Star Spirits turned to behold the battle. "Ah, right. Your friends appear to be handling this situation well...but we shall stay until the battle is won, until our destiny is fulfilled."

"It's not like we have anything better to do," said Muskular, a blue Star Spirit wearing a beret.

Shepard turned to Peach. "The Spartans and Heliosians are retreating inland, most likely to the capital city of New Alexandria. What would you have us do?"

Peach narrowed her eyes as the Spartans and Mechs turned and fired potshots at their pursuers. Legion, Proto Man, and Bass were now leading the Megalandian robots up the shore at a quick pace, while the Veldinians and Freedom League and dragons and Craftworld puppets and all the rest of the Sonian forces followed by land and air, encouraged by the destruction of the Reaper.

"Follow them," she said. "They might lead us straight to the Master Chief, and then we can finally end this war."

* * *

The massive army pursued the few hundred remaining Spartans, who moved devilishly fast in their gunships and Scorpions and land rovers, though not fast enough to shake the Sonians off their trail. And in any case, even if they had wanted to escape, there would be nowhere to escape to on this relatively flat, barren landscape.

After just a couple miles of giving chase, New Alexandria's ring-topped towers were already in sight. It seemed like just a few minutes before they were nearly upon the Spartan capital, though it soon became apparent that there were many more Spartans and vehicles awaiting them, ready to defend their turf.

And then the battle for Microsoft began anew, this time in Reach's most populous military center.

As Klevar, another Star Spirit, directed his fellows in unleashing a Star Storm upon the city, Peach said another prayer in her heart: that the killing would soon end.

* * *

A semicircle of blue lightning shot out of the Reeka clones' watches, converging on the four Smashers.

Ness quickly conjured the largest PSI Shield he'd ever made. The astral blue shield absorbed all the bolts, filling him with strength. He was ready now to stop Reeka once and for all.

Even as the PSI Shield absorbed the electric bolts, however, the six Hayabusa at Reeka's side dashed forward to take the four of them down. The energy shield would be useless against physical attacks.

Roy brought down his Binding Blade, unleashing a small explosion of flames that sent two ninjas flying into the opposite wall. He sprang out of the PSI Shield and began slicing the goopy clones even while the two ninjas made their return.

Falco leapt and spun his wings as he dove forward, clipping two more Hayabusa in the head and following up with a kick against one that launched him into the chest of another.

Yoshi encased himself in a green-spotted egg and bowled into the last two warriors, crushing one and smacking the other to the side as he redirected himself toward Reeka's doppelgangers as well.

Ness stopped projecting his PSI Shield and set his sights on the original Reeka, feeling more righteous indignance than he'd felt since coming face to face with Nightmare after a third of Nintendo's population had been slaughtered. A slaughter that had been made possible in part by Reeka's inventions. Yet in spite of how fierce Ness thought he looked himself, his fingertips sparking with energy, Reeka stared back at him as calmly as ever, ignoring the other Smashers and showing his wicked razor teeth.

"PK Fire!"

Ness's fiery projectile was blocked by a jet of electricity from Reeka's watch, but he used the moment to jump over his own flame. He cast another PK Fire at a downward angle toward Reeka and dove through it with PSI magic pulsing from his hands.

His eyes were squeezed shut as he braced for impact, but instead of slamming into Reeka's body, he passed through it like a block of gelatin. He rolled and turned to face the scientist again. Neither the fire nor his hand pulses had had any lasting effect as the hole in Reeka's chest reconstructed itself with goopy paint. The golden statue to his right leered down at him, as if in mockery of his futile efforts.

Ness grunted with frustration; the only fruits of his attack were a scraped knee and the sticky brown paint covering his hands and speckling his face. He had to try something different.

But Reeka gave Ness no time to think; after a fraction of a second's silent gloating, he caused paint to run across his arm and morph into a long baton made of solidified goop.

Ness met it with a swing of his trademark baseball bat and figured that since they were about the same height and Reeka was super old, he would stand a pretty good chance.

But Reeka was surprisingly strong; Ness wailed as he was caught with a blow to the back that sent him to the ground. He rolled out of the way just before the paint baton stained the red palace carpet. As the boy rolled, he drew his yo-yo and swung it over his head. The yo-yo wrapped around Reeka's legs, severing the paint flesh from the rest and causing Reeka to fall with a screech of surprise.

Then the others joined, having finished off the ninjas and paint clones. Before Reeka could get back up or create more duplicates of himself, Yoshi hopped beside Ness and drew the professor into his mouth with his long, sticky tongue. He grimaced at the bitter paint flavor and spit Reeka out as a ball of paint.

Falco used his Falco Phantasm to speed from where he stood to where Reeka was headed. The pilot activated his Reflector, causing the paint ball to bounce off the bright blue light into Roy's charged blade, which came down with an even greater burst of flames than before, shearing Reeka into two burning hemispheres.

And as those hemispheres headed toward the ground, Ness released the PK Flash he'd been generating. A veritable fireworks show of blinding green light caused Reeka paint to splatter all over the room, tarnishing the carpet and statues and throne and domed ceiling.

The Smashers looked at each other in stunned, paint-flecked silence. They had done it. They had destroyed Professor Ulysses Reeka forever.

But then the specks of paint began moving, as if of their own accord, sliding off of every metal and fabric and fleshy surface and coalescing before the throne like a recorded explosion being played in reverse. In horror, the heroes beheld Reeka reform himself yet again. Gadd's cousin cackled a cackle that would have made Gruntilda proud.

"You fools!" he hissed as paint ran down his entire body, rushing toward his back. This time, the goop formed into two nightmarishly familiar "butterfly wings," consisting of golden gothic designs that made him look like some kind of artistic Mephistopheles. Ness, Roy, Yoshi, and even Falco gasped.

"Yes..." Reeka opened out his arms, displaying his new wings as if showing off on a stage. "You recognize these, don't you? Tabuu's Off Waves were quite enough to stop all of you self-proclaimed heroes at once. And I think I shall enjoy using them as well...only, unlike my former master, I have no intention of keeping you alive. The headstones over your corpses will be trophies enough for me!"

The Smashers tried to prepare themselves, but they were all exhausted from the battle. Their chances of evading an Off Wave had been slim to none before, and now, being so out in the open, they knew there would be no escape this time.

Reeka cackled and brought back his wings...

And a glinting figure appeared on top of the throne's backrest. It tipped a bucket of molten metal oil on top of Ulysses Reeka, eliciting a muffled scream as it coated both body and wing.

The figure jumped down and drew out a large iron match with a large iron flame at the end, and Reeka was set alight.

Ness's neurons were so overloaded with shock and relief and horror that he could barely process the sickening sight of Reeka's screaming form, stumbling forward like a melting zombie.

And then the figure produced an iron fire extinguisher. It unleashed it upon the molten paint and metal, cooling it so quickly that within fifteen seconds, Reeka had become a solid puddle of unnatural silvery colors.

The figure drove its metal key into the middle of the solid puddle, shattering the center and then the rest into thousands of tiny pieces, erasing Reeka from the world like a clay sculpture being smashed with a hammer.

Ness blinked many times before he was able to focus on the figure standing before them, its features expressionless because it had no face. Nevertheless, it appeared to regard them for a long, strange moment.

Metal Mr. Game & Watch?

It briefly occurred to the boy that this was the same being that had slain Pikachu just a number of weeks ago, that had murdered one of his friends among the Original 25.

But before either he or the others could say or do anything about it, Metal Mr. Game & Watch sprang over them and disappeared back up the way they had come, no doubt using its two-dimensional nature to slip past the rock wall blocking the entrance.

Roy leaned on his sword for support, appearing equally incredulous. "Did that...just happen?"

"Yoshi!" The green dinosaur said, indicating that "I'm just glad we made it through that alive!"

Falco pounded and brushed paint dust out of his jacket. "Yeah, yeah," he said. "I'm not even gonna pretend to know what's going on here, but we've gotta go find our pals down below. For all we know, the Nintendo World could be half-submerged by now."

* * *

The battle against the Giant R.A.W. and the rest of Reeka's robots was going poorly.

Meta Knight, Prince Peasley, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Joanna Dark had been fighting like their lives depended on it, because they knew that for many lives, it actually did. But despite their best efforts, the R.A.W.s were just too numerous and too impossibly attached to the Deconstructor's transmitter. And the Giant R.A.W.'s missiles and refrigerator-sized gyro—those didn't help things either.

Shadow yelled in frustration and jumped back from the fight for a second, panting heavily. If only he could use Chaos Control, he'd make quick work of these tin cans. But even though he'd had limited use of it on _The King's Krystal_ without the Chaos Emeralds, for some reason being down here in the depths of enemy Microsian territory—and in this godforsaken palace, no less—he was left powerless. No better off than his well-meaning simpleton friend, Sonic.

And then something burst from the Giant R.A.W.'s body, almost Xenomorph-style. The robot shut down as a figure pushed the robot's own gyro straight through its circuitry, sending pieces of shrapnel flying all over the place, thankfully not striking any of the heroes but piercing several of the smaller R.A.W.s.

The figure behind the giant gyro proceeded to front-flip through the air and land on top of the Deconstructor's transmitter, the gyro still spinning like a high-powered drill in its hands.

 _Whoever that is, how are they holding the Gyro without shredding their hands?_ Shadow wondered.

The glinting figure then actually jumped onto the gyro and rode it down the dish like a skateboard until it reached the ring of R.A.W.s connected to the transmitter. The gyro severed clean through the robotic arms, cutting off whatever circuitry that was activating the machine. The gyro proceeded in a circle, slicing through each R.A.W. in turn until the last one was disconnected and the dish's green glow faded to nothing. Dead.

As if the rest of the R.A.W.s somehow knew their creator's purpose had been foiled, they all shut off simultaneously and the Giant R.A.W.'s gyro toppled onto its side, leaving the hangar-like dome quiet except for the continual buzzing of the halogen lights above.

The four heroes all turned to the figure that had saved both them and the entire Nintendonian continent.

 _Mario?_ Shadow thought. _What's with the metal getup? Haven't seen anything like that since those clones in Master Hand's fortress._ He raised an eyebrow, arms folded. _Must be a Nintendo thing._

* * *

Along the underwater continental shelf of Nintendo, the Deconstructor Core deactivated, the burning white vein that had been about to blow the continent's base fading back to a dull, harmless black. The remaining R.A.W.s shut down as well. The heavy shaking stopped.

The submerged Smash Brothers broke out in a general cheer. Their home was saved. And all across Nintendo, from Dreamland to the Mushroom and Beanbean Kingdoms to Hyrule and Mute City, they knew everyone else would be equally grateful that the Hand of Fate was, at least for today, on their side.

* * *

As Diddy and Conker went after each other and Sackboy directed his yarn balls and monsters against the Tediz, the remaining heroes—Solid Snake, Samus, and Captain Falcon—had to act fast.

Snake pulled the pins from three grenades and chucked them at three spots among the ranks of the Tediz. The subsequent explosions gave them the cover they needed to push through the fuzzy soldiers, with machine guns echoing all around them.

One bounty hunter Falcon Kicked through a few rows of enemies, and then the other hunter, following beside Snake from behind, grabbed both men and activated her Jet Boots, propelling the three of them clean over the rest of the battalion. They rolled and took cover behind a ledge before the Tediz could come after them.

That is, except for one particularly large one, who gave a deep laugh and aimed a bazooka at their hiding spot.

Several tendrils of pink yarn wrapped themselves around the Tedi, yanking the gun out of his hands and pulling him screaming toward the edge of the cliff where the responsible yarn monster awaited its catch.

Finally safe from the Tediz and Hayabusa around the Moon Deity's palace, the three of them briefly convened. The hot Vigoorian sun blazed upon them almost as angrily as the murderous Teddy Bears.

"Shouldn't we go back and find a way to get our friends out of the palace?" Samus said, thinking of her fellow Smashers trapped inside there with who-knew-what-kind-of-danger.

But Snake shook his head, looking up at the sky. The Microsian frigate was drawing ever nearer, deploying gunships and transports. He'd gotten a strange feeling as soon as he'd seen it.

"Our friends are strong; they will not fail us in stopping the mad scientist's machine, I am confident. But the Master Chief is in that Frigate, and if _that_ is not stopped, the elves of the Enchanted Kingdom will stand no chance."

"How do you know he's in there?" Falcon asked, squinting up at the massive ship with a hand shielding his eyes from the sun.

"I...I just know it. We have a chance to end this. We must take it now."

But Falcon folded his arms skeptically. "You mean a chance for you to get revenge on Master Chief. Even if we get up there, how are we supposed to take that thing on with just the three of us? There's gotta be a better way."

"Snake's right," Samus said, much to Falcon's irritation. "But we can try and bring Kameo and some of her elves with us. We're all trained in stealth and combat; I think we can do it."

Falcon looked hard at Samus. They had grown close over the course of this voyage. Maybe even closer than friends. He sighed in exasperation.

"Fine. We can take the Flyer; but we have to get there first. I'm sure it's fine since it's Cloaked, but judging from the excessive gunfire coming from that direction, I doubt the plateau's unoccupied."

Snake cocked his rifle. "Let's go, then."

With that, they headed down along the edge of the canyon. For a short while, they went unchallenged. But as they rounded the edge of the outcropping of boulders and dry trees where they had first landed in the Flyer, they were taken aback by what they saw.

Hundreds and hundreds of fairy-like elves were locked in magical combat against Tediz clustered below and Spartan gunships above. Bursts of sparkling magic collided with rockets and bullets. Many elves were shot out of the sky, tumbling down into the canyon hundreds of feet below, while a handful of Tediz were occasionally blasted by magic and a couple gunships fell prey to similar attacks.

Kameo's current Element of Power was Snare, a plant-like creature who burrowed through the ground and popped up behind unsuspecting Tediz, clamping its Venus Flytrap-like jaws around one's head and wrenching it back and forth like a dog chewing an actual Teddy Bear. She would also squirt acid that burned through cloth and fur and skin and even metal. Now and then she would spit acid upward, striking the underside of a gunship and causing its pilot or its passengers to fall from the sky.

All the while, the spot where the Falcon Flyer lay remained untouched, with just a few Tediz between them and their goal.

Without waiting for permission. Captain Falcon rushed forward and shoved two Tediz off the edge with his shoulder, then grabbed another and threw it up in the path of a elf's white magic blast.

Snake followed suit, diving like a leopard into a Tedi and knocking it out with a single calculated punch. Behind him, Samus jumped and fired her Paralyzer gun at the last enemy between them and the ship. As the creature vibrated helplessly, unable to pull the trigger on its machine gun, Samus landed on her hands, grabbed it around the throat with her legs, and swung it right into the Flyer's hull. It sank the ground with a groan as the ship flickered into sight.

Falcon winced as the three of them approached the ship. "Careful with the paint job, Sam; I think you might've scratched it."

Samus rolled her eyes and approached Kameo's Snare form, which happened to be nearby. "Kameo, we need your help assaulting the frigate. Are you in?"

She transformed into her dark-haired, indigenous self, a look of mixed pleasure and pain on her face from the heat of battle. "At your service."

* * *

The Falcon Flyer shot into the sky, with a sizeable flank of fifty elves flying around it. Kameo stood atop the golden "beak" as Thermite, already launching magma balls at the Spartan opposition.

They plowed into the mix, Falcon doing all he could to maintain as direct a course as possible while avoiding lasers and missiles and possible collisions. But even then, the vessel rattled and bumped like a jetliner passing through a thunderstorm, knocked back and forth by the few projectile attacks that reached their target.

"Can't you fly a little smoother?" Snake gritted his teeth, trying not to lose his footing again after he'd been foolish enough to neglect his seatbelt. He quickly sat beside Samus and strapped himself in before another missile could knock him down.

"In case you haven't noticed," Falcon shouted, "we're going through a bit of turbulence. Falcon Air would appreciate it if you would kindly _shut up_."

The frigate, still pointed toward the Moon Deity's palace, didn't seem to have noticed the relatively small Falcon Flyer coming at it from behind. Falcon approached the underside and spotted a hatch that was just now opening to allow a transport to drop out.

"Go!" Samus urged.

Falcon complied, boosting the Flyer into the hatch as it began to close. As they entered the frigate, Kameo transformed back into elfin form and waved back at them as she flew down to rejoin her people.

The hangar was buzzing with activity, with scores of Spartans negotiating walkways and stairways leading up and down toward various shuttles and gunships. Some were heading off through the lower doors—probably to man the frigate's turrets—while others were attending to the aircrafts. Few of them carried guns in their hands, figuring this was as safe a place as any. The Flyer's entrance quickly changed their minds.

"Hold on!" Falcon yelled as he pointed the Flyer's beak at a long row of gunships. The vessel jarred violently as it began ramming across the line, knocking several gunships into each other and causing a horrific screeching noise and no doubt millions of damage in whatever monetary unit they used in Reach.

Spartans shouted and drew guns and followed and shot at the Flyer's hull, but it was the hull of a bounty hunter and was well designed to take a hit. What it was not designed for was the final crash as the row of gunships came to a sudden stop at the hangar wall, smashing the Flyer's beak and even shattering much of its bullet-proof windshield. Its three passengers were thrown forward against their seatbelts hard enough to guarantee future bruises.

Falcon pressed a large red button and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Time to go. I've set this thing to blow." He recalled the painful memory of his previous Flyer's demise in Onett. "Again."

 _It probably won't take out the whole frigate_ , he thought, _but it should do a number on a bunch of their weapons._

A siren wailed and red lights flashed as Snake and Samus followed the pilot out through the broken windshield. They dove behind a staircase to avoid the frantic Spartans.

"My turn," Snake said. He drew his remote-controlled rocket launcher and pointed it away from the wall. He fired it, guiding the small missile with the wireless controls on the shoulder-mounted gun. It looped up and headed over the staircase and into the most densely concentrated pack of Spartans, lighting the place up as the Falcon Flyer counted down to its self-destruction.

They crawled onto the staircase and made their way up to the walkway, where they slipped into a small steel elevator, a sleek iron gray in contrast to the dark green of the rest of the frigate's interior. Samus kicked a Spartan back down the stairs as Falcon hammered on the elevator's highest button until finally the door closed and they found sanctuary, albeit an extremely temporary one. But just as the doors shut, a stream of red energy passed through and struck Samus in the chest.

She cried out and collapsed, unconscious.

"Sam!" Falcon knelt and tried to shake her awake, then when that failed, examined her vitals. She seemed fine and the blast hadn't broken any skin; she'd just been stunned. Her hair had broken free of its ponytail and hung messily around her shoulders.

A sharp rumbling noise shook from the bottom floor as they rose toward the top. The Falcon Flyer's self-destruction was complete.

Snake looked grim. "We can't do anything for her here. You must find a shuttle and get her out."

But the captain's temperament had changed after seeing Samus down for the count. He leapt to his feet and glared at Snake, an unusual fire in his eyes, which shone behind his black visor like piercing knives.

"This is your fault. We never should've come on this suicide mission so unprepared. And now, because of your thirst for vengeance, we're screwed!"

Snake opened his mouth to retort, but Falcon wasn't finished.

"And you know what else, old-timer? I'm sick of you creepin' around me and Samus all the time. You think you can just barge into her life and win her over like this? I hate to break it to ya, but you haven't got a snowball's chance in Hell with her. Especially not when you're always so consumed with revenge."

Snake seethed, his fists shaking, wanting nothing more than to give this cocky, idiotically dressed bounty hunter a piece of his mind. "Shut it, Falcon. You have no idea what I've been through; unlike you, I know how to put the mission before everything... _everything_ else. Your hyper-paranoid jealousy and her decision to risk her life on this mission are none of my concern. If I fail, then everything we have sacrificed—everything I and my people have sacrificed—will have been for nothing. So I will tell you one more time: Get yourself and the girl out of here. You clearly don't see this as your fight, so get the Hell out of it."

The elevator slowed as it approached the highest level available. Falcon lifted Samus onto her feet so she was leaning against him and the wall for support. He stared at Snake with what almost might have passed for regret.

"You know, I was this close to heading after Master Chief with you, with Samus on my back. But I can see now that you wouldn't have it any other way. So good luck."

The elevator door opened and they prepared for a fight, but the dark corridor was empty.

Snake had nothing more to say, so he didn't. He just nodded—to Samus, not to Falcon—and crept out of the elevator. He didn't even look behind him to watch it close.

The red alarm lights were flashing up here as well, so he knew the Spartans were still after him, but hopefully this shortcut would give him just enough time to find what he was looking for. _Who_ he was looking for.

 _Time to bring you justice, Meryl._

For the next ten minutes, Snake did what he'd done best as a member of the elite FOXHOUND unit. He snuck from corner to corner, sticking to the shadows of the eerily lit dark green walls. Several times he had to slip behind a door as a line of Spartans filed past; two of those times, he had to retreat further into the room and then sneak out before the searchers could notice; but only once was he actually forced to come to blows with one. The Spartan in question was stationed in front of a door which Snake's instincts told him would lead to his destination.

He tossed a useless grenade pin across the hall to distract the space-armored soldier, then pounced and grabbed him from behind, putting him into a chokehold around the neck (that seemed to be the only real vulnerable spot on these thick suits). A few seconds later, the Spartan was out for the count, and Snake grabbed the man's futuristic gun and moved on.

He wound his way around a narrow curving passage, certain that he was near the front of the frigate and unavoidably reminded of his last attempt to confront his enemies in a control room: Shadow Moses Island. His pulse raced, his special ops uniform soaked with sweat. This was it.

Around the bend, sure enough, the passage opened up into the frigate's command bridge.

It was larger than any other such chamber Snake had ever seen. A smattering of Spartans operated computers and radars and other panels and technical equipment toward the back, but a large space near the front was dedicated to the wide, spectacular view from the bridge's broad crescent window. It revealed a godly view of Vigoor—its canyons; the Moon Deity's palace; the Pit of Obaba; the capital city of Tairon in the distance; and the countless warring figures below.

Snake felt another painful jolt of déjà vu as he stepped out into the open, no longer attempting to hide his presence.

There he was: the Master Chief. Standing at the front of the bridge with his hands behind his back, just as he had back in the Shadow Moses facility, right before he murdered Meryl Silverburgh in cold blood.

"Looking for me?" Snake said.

Master Hand swiveled slowly, his expressionless helmet identifying Snake with no more humanity than a drone identifies a bomb target. He held up a hand to the frigate's crew, which obediently carried on as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Solid Snake," he said, his voice echoing with a kind of charismatic power. "I was wondering when you'd come to finish what we started…all those years ago."

* * *

Diddy Kong's breathing slowly returned to normal as he carefully navigated his way off the plank over the Pit of Obaba, anxious to put as much distance between himself and that nightmarish chasm as possible. He saw Sackboy's yarn creations combating the Tediz up near the palace a few canyons away, while further along that same stretch of rocky plateau to his left, the cloud of Enchanted Kingdom elves took on the rest of the Tediz and the first gunships that had been deployed from the looming frigate.

 _I've gotta go help them_. He wiped sweat off his furry brow, looking over in dismay at the wreckage that had once been his treasured Rocket Barrel jetpack. It would take a long time for him to walk all the way there. Maybe too long for him to make a difference.

Then, a midnight blue cloud faded into sight directly in front of him like a specter from one of the Mushroom Kingdom's Ghost Houses. And from that cloud, _he_ emerged. A being the Kong thought he would never see again.

The large, rotund body, some thirty or forty feet high. The chubby limbs and neckless head, dressed in a plum-colored garment and a dark violet cape. The obsidian black horns, the perpetually snarling snout, the wide animalic maw, and those eyes…those horrible, greedy, lustful yellow eyes…

And the laugh. Or, to be more accurate, the snort, the most malicious series of snorts that could ever be uttered. And it was directed at him, at Diddy Kong.

"Wizpig," Diddy said in a hushed voice, so shocked that he was rooted in place, unable to so much as lift a finger to pick his nose.

Wizpig—the very real, living Wizpig, whose power somehow felt immensely greater to Diddy than he had ever remembered—snorted again and pointed a leathery pink hand with gnarled yellow fingernails at the Kong. His voice legitimately boomed like thunder (albeit a rather nasally congested one), resounding across the world around him, every bit as impressive as the god he proclaimed himself to be.

"I see you worms have found my palace."


	24. Chapter 18: Suicide Mission (1)

Chapter 18: Suicide Mission

* * *

 _ **W**_ izpig and Diddy Kong stared each other down a short distance from the Pit of Obaba, the palace, and the warring elves. Just far enough so they wouldn't be disturbed.

"There are so many questions you want to ask." Wizpig's wide nostrils steamed. "I can smell your confusion. Ask, then. I have waited long for this day, and I won't have it spoiled by ignorance in the face of defeat."

Diddy still felt frozen in place, but he managed to put to words his initial thought. "Your… _your_ palace?" He looked over at where Sackboy and his yarn monsters continued to fend off the Tediz, the golden temple behind them containing more of Diddy's friends who were trying to stop Ulysses Reeka. Then he looked back at the beast. "Then you're…the Great Moon Deity?"

Wizpig snorted with pleasure. In fact, he tended to do this almost every time spoke. "You got it, worm. When we last met, you left me stranded on the moon…but now, the Microsians worship me as their god!"

Suddenly, Diddy's emotional inertia hit him with full force: surprise like missing a step in the dark; anger like a boiling volcano; and, as much as he hated to admit to himself, fear like he hadn't felt since the War of the Hands. It was all he could do not to rush forward and attack the flying pig, and even that was mostly because he didn't know what would happen if he tried.

"Wizpig! What's your game? You've always wanted more than what was yours to take; and since you were too terrible a racer to seize Timber's Island, you're taking your loss out on the rest of the planet? Is that it?"

Wizpig's eyes narrowed and he folded his pudgy arms. "This is about so much more than those stupid races on Timber's stupid island, worm. Maybe if I grace you with the tale of how I came to power, you'll appreciate the true glory of my triumph and the total gravity of your failure.

"The planet I come from isn't much more than a rocky meteor. As a passionate racer, I won everywhere and I made its racetracks my own—you know it as Future Fun Land—but still I was left bored and unfulfilled. So I began finding new racing worlds to conquer. I traveled the galaxy, terrorizing anyone who dared challenge me." His wide smile disappeared, his expression growing dark. "Until I found your planet.

"Timber's Island wasn't much to look at compared to what I was used to, but when I found your little band of worms, I couldn't resist having a little fun. I overthrew that fool Taj; turned the first challenger, Drumstick, into a squirming frog; and waited for a more worthy opponent to arrive while I searched for the next world to subdue. Only, as it turned out, you and your friends found that rooster and freed him, and then he trained and challenged me to a rematch.

"When he somehow, just barely, managed to catch me off guard and beat me, I'd never been so humiliated—ever. So I planned my revenge; I tricked you into following me in that rocket-powered lighthouse to my home domain. This time, as you well know, worm, _you_ were the one who stepped forward to race me.

"And yet, even with my spaceships shooting everywhere, even with my home advantage and my rocket, your tiny plane _beat me again._ I was so mad that I accidentally broke my rocket and was blasted off to the moon—where I had no way to get off."

"Served you right," Diddy said.

Wizpig ignored him, already deep into his brooding recollections. "You worms could never understand what it was like to be stranded there— _years_ of exile without any way to escape. I thought I would die a disgrace, thwarted by such puny racers and left to rot. But then…I gained my power.

"Maybe it was something about that moon…maybe it was fate, or the universe itself. But one day, I awoke with the strength of a god. I can do things now you'd never dream of, worm. So, with that power, I came back to claim what was mine.

"But as it turned out, when I set foot on Smash Planet once more, it was not on Timber's Island, but on Reach. Even so, I found it, and the rest of Microsoft, pleasing to my purposes. So I won the allegiance first of the greatest among them, the Master Chief, and then that of this entire world." He snorted. "Of course, when I say allegiance, I mean worship and adulation. You'd be surprised how easy it is to cross the thin veil between alien invader and messianic deity. Throw in some intimidating mysticism and mandatory sacrifices, and you get the kind of fear and respect that'll make them follow you to world's end.

"From there, it was really simple to mandate the seizure of the Islands; I told the Chief to liberate them all, though obviously Timber's Island was really the only one I wanted. Watching the witch put that fool Taj in his place…" He licked his chops. "It was the sweetest satisfaction I've yet known."

Diddy, horrified as he was by Wizpig's story, was having trouble wrapping his head around it all. It seemed too ludicrous to be true. "So…you mean to tell me that you had Microsoft go to war against everyone else…just so you could have Timber's Island? If you're so powerful, why didn't you just take it by yourself?"

Steam blew from Wizpig's amused nostrils. "I could have. But when I saw Microsoft and its lands, I knew that pathetic island wouldn't be enough for me; I had to have _all_ your worlds to race through as I pleased. Yes, there've been a few setbacks: the softness or incompetence of some of Microsoft's leaders…Sony's rebellion…Nintendo's tenacity…especially your Smash Brothers, who've been foolish enough to come knocking at our gates. But when it comes down to it, your minor victories will be nothing; you and your friends will all be dead; and I will become the god and champion of This World!"

"If you're gonna kill me," Diddy said, his simian fists clenched, "get it over with. Only a coward like you would attack me right after I've worn myself out fighting Conker."

"Yes, Conker's death was…a necessary loss," Wizpig said, "to lure you out here alone. But don't worry, worm; I may be ruthless and tyrannical, but I play fair. You're going to have every ounce of energy available; and besides, we're not going to fight. There's only one way to end this."

Diddy knew. "With a race."

Wizpig nodded and laughed. He raised his gnarled hands and a cloud of dark blue smoke enveloped both of them.

Diddy's view of the Vigoorian battle was shrouded in darkness until it was just him and Wizpig's silhouette, the yellow slits of the swine's eyes searing through the cloud into Diddy's face, a sudden chill seeping through his fur. And then, Wizpig's voice—not out loud, but in his head.

 _Time for your final lap, worm._

With that, the dark cloud spirited both of them out of the desert, like the vaporous tendrils of the angel of death.

* * *

The blood in Snake's chest and head simmered with the heat of years of resentment. After all this time, here he was, face to face with the man who had killed Meryl, his dearest friend. The man who had made him and the Sony World suffer for so long. And now Snake had a chance to end it all.

"You're not calling on any of your Spartan lackeys to stop me," Snake said, raising the Spartan gun he'd swiped from the command bridge's guard. "You think that suit will protect you?"

"Yes," Master Chief said, drawing his own gun. "But that's not why I am unconcerned with you being here. It's because you are an angry, fallen soldier. And you know as well as I do that a soldier who is emotionally compromised stands no chance against one who has bridled his passions. You are no threat to me…so let's get this little grudge match over with, shall we? I have the destruction of those persistent Smash Brothers to attend to."

"Have it your way," Snake said, and fired his gun. And then everything seemed to happen in a blur.

Master Chief lazily blocked it with a shot of his own, both energy bursts negating each other in midair, the small resulting explosion forcing Snake to scrunch his eyes against the light just for a second.

"Let's not block the pilot's view, Snake." The Chief nodded to one of the Spartans seated at the numerous control panels. A lever was pulled, and suddenly, a large trap door dropped open directly below Snake and Master Chief. The latter stepped into the hole with practiced ease, while the former, taken by surprise, tumbled gracelessly into the darkness.

Snake instinctively fired his gun as they fell, though the burst struck the opposite wall of the bridge rather than the recently vanished Master Chief. It was only a fall of about ten feet, but he grunted with pain as he collapsed onto his hands and knees, with the Master Chief's armor glowing in the dark somewhere nearby behind stacks of large metal crates. He quickly rolled behind a stack as a glowing white burst flew right over his head.

The large chamber was very poorly lit, with only a couple flickering halogen lights above the door at one end. Judging by the stacks of crates that formed a labyrinth around him, Snake guessed it was some kind of storage room or warehouse within the frigate.

But for him and the Master Chief, it had become a maze for the world's biggest game of cat and mouse. And since the Spartan had allowed his armor to glow so brightly in the dark so his opponent would always know where to find him, Snake came to the discomforting realization that he was to play the part of the mouse.

 _We'll see about that._

Before the Chief could round the corner and take another potshot, Snake crept off into the depths of the chamber, making less noise than the crumb-eating rodent from "The Night Before Christmas."

"You undoubtedly think of me as a monster," the Chief's voice echoed from the direction of the glow as Snake retreated toward an edge of the room where he would have time to plan his next move. "But tell me, Snake…how far would you be prepared to go to protect Sony and all those you care about?"

Snake took this as a rhetorical question and crawled farther away, silently assessing his surroundings and searching for a good angle from which he could snipe the Spartan.

At this point, Master Chief didn't even appear to be making any effort to hunt him, standing somewhere near the center as he spoke to his unseen quarry.

"Reach was once a war-torn world," he said. "My race was spread across Reach and throughout the galaxy. But like any great nation, we were plagued with formidable enemies. The Covenant…the Flood…these aliens sought to corrupt or annihilate my species. So I led my soldiers against them, time and time again—only, no matter how many times we drove them off, our enemies always came back for more, ever threatening our survival.

"I lost many comrades to the wars as one by one, all the other worlds we inhabited were destroyed—even some of my closest friends. Cortana, an artificial intelligence and a dear ally, sacrificed herself to stop the Covenant from finishing off what was left of us here on Smash Planet. But I knew they wouldn't stop until we were all extinct.

"It was as I awaited our final destruction that our salvation arrived. The Great Moon Deity was strange to be sure, and at first we took him for another alien invader, but he soon showed us what he could do for my people. In one fell swoop, he wiped out the entire Covenant and Flood armies, Snake. _All of them_. Every man, woman, and child on Reach owed their life to the power of this benevolent visitor. We were forever safe from them, and knowing this, we would do whatever our savior asked of us in return for our continued protection.

"I soon learned that the Moon Deity saved not only the people of Reach from its enemies, but almost every nation of the Microsoft World. The Locust Horde of Sera…Frank Fontaine's empire of Splicers in Rapture…the Crimson Lance corporation in Pandora…the Reapers that threatened the Systems Alliance in Eden Prime…the rogue Mechs of Helios known as the Word of Blake…the Vigoorian Empire and the Black Spider ninja clan…the Deity freed us from them all. And all he has ever asked for in return is our loyalty."

Peering through a crack between two crates, Snake took his shot with the Spartan gun—only for the blast to disappear into the transparent hexagonal pattern of the Chief's Bubble Shield, the same kind that had prevented the Sonians from lending aid to _The King's Krystal_ on Candy Chateau. Snake swore silently and began moving away as Master Chief turned and began stepping deliberately toward his hiding spot.

"But even then, Snake," he said, just as calmly as he had before, "I would never have fired a single shot on anyone who hadn't proved themselves a threat to my people, no matter who might have been calling in the favor. The Great Moon Deity showed me what Sonians are like: animal experimentation on the Tasmanian Islands; harvesting life force in Mobius; hostile robot oligarchies in Megaland; and in several regions, nuclear weapons on the brink of causing global extinction. And then the Nintendonians, with their animal slavery in Kanto; their tyrants who, even if they are brought down, come at the cost of thousands of innocents manipulated by the rebel leaders; their hedonism and corruption in Fourside and Mute City; and, of course, the faceless monsters they sent before and have been sending again to terrorize us into relinquishing our right upon the Islands. Is it any wonder, then, that for the good of our world, our Deity instructed us to put an end to all these corruptions? Think of that as you die."

Suddenly, Master Chief bounded over the nearest crate and brought the butt of his gun hard across Snake's face, flooring him. The Spartan reached down to pull up the fallen soldier by his shirt, but as Snake began to be lifted, he did away with his feigned helplessness and slashed his recently acquired Energy Sword across the Chief's arm (clearly, the Bubble Shield's duration had run its course).

Master Chief cried out and dropped his gun, stumbling backward as blue sparks and a small amount of blood leaked through the suit on his right arm. Snake wasted no time in pouncing from his crouched position, thrusting his new weapon toward the Spartan's chest.

He grunted as his blade was met by a twin Energy Sword, both weapons featuring a central handle around which two glowing sapphire blades curved up to a lethal point. Master Chief pressed hard against Snake, clearly no longer in the mood for monologuing about the justifications for his actions. The deep blue light radiating from the weapons reflected off Snake's sweating face and the Chief's amber helmet visor. Snake felt all the bottled-up anger of the Copyright Wars well up inside him, and he unleashed it with a yell, shoving the Chief's blade back and engaging him in a duel for the ages.

Snake was lighter and quicker on his feet, but the Master Chief's masterful blade-wielding more than made up for the weight of his armor. Every slightest graze of the Energy Sword caused Snake to cry in agony, whereas similar hits caused the Chief only slight discomfort, and the Spartan was able to return the favor with heavy blows from his metal-covered fists and feet.

Finally, Master Chief kicked Snake square in the chest, sending the Sonian hard onto his back and his Energy Sword clattering uselessly off to the side. Snake found himself looking up with his enemy's blade mere inches from his throat, the massive pressure from Master Chief's armored foot crushing his ribs and threatening to crush his lungs.

"Did you have something you wanted to say, soldier?" the Chief said quietly.

Snake choked on his own lack of breath but managed to gasp, "See you in Hell." He pulled the pin of the grenade in his hand. But before he could blow both of them apart, Master Chief kicked the grenade out of his hands and over a stack of crates, behind which it exploded harmlessly.

"A martyr's death is not in the cards for you," he said, poised to make the final plunge with his Energy Sword. "This is to be remembered as an offering to the Great Moon Deity. Consider it an honor."

He brought the blade forward.

* * *

It was like a dream.

Diddy appeared in his tiny blue plane (back from the racing days on Timber's Island), some ten feet off the ground, the propeller buzzing loudly in his ears. True to Wizpig's word, Diddy's body felt miraculously rejuvenated, as if his battle with Conker had never happened. Beside him, the dark blue smoke deposited Wizpig, his head towering above Diddy even though he was grounded.

They were deep underground; that much was certain. A ghostly teal light seemed to emanate throughout the cavern from the rocky walls themselves. Echoing moans sounded out from all directions like the bewailing souls of the lost. Enormous, misshapen mushrooms poked out from cracks and crevices and holes, adding a sickly bright whiteness to the mix. Tree roots curled out from the rocky ceiling like claws and weaved down columns and stalactites like petrified ivy. The air was frigid and lifeless and stuffy.

The Kong didn't know it, but at that moment they were in The Hollow, that dreaded labyrinth beneath Sera where the Locust Horde had once thrived. That is, until Wizpig had exterminated them and won over the loyalty of the people of Jacinto Plateau—including the COG troopers, led by Marcus Fenix and Dominic Santiago.

Diddy saw that he and Wizpig were lined up in the middle of a natural rock bridge over a misty chasm, with a conspicuous checkered line directly in front of them. The tunnel wound off into the distance, soon clouded by teal mist.

And then, the midnight blue smoke formed an almost parodic countdown in the air.

3

2

1

GO!

Without even thinking about it, Diddy boosted forward in his plane, the orange rocket flame pushing him in front of Wizpig as the race began, the "Moon Deity's" feet stomping and shaking the earth behind him. He almost might have been able to enjoy it, had it not been for the life-or-death nature of the race.

All was speed and the thrill of the chase, the tension of knowing Wizpig was right behind him with the power to destroy entire civilizations. He maneuvered expertly along curves in the tunnel, under arches and between pillars and around jutting stalactites and stalagmites.

After what seemed like an age of these narrow passages, they opened out into a much larger cavern. Here there was no ground to land on whatsoever, for it was filled with a lake of luminescent yellow liquid. Unbeknownst to Diddy, this was a parasitic energy source known as Imulsion, which both the COG soldiers and Locust Horde had long sought after, ignorant of the fact that this substance actually corrupted and fed off of them, twisting many of their bodies into zombie-like mutants known as Lambent. Stalagmites poked out here and there from the lake, and a pungent steam wafted up through the chamber, almost causing Diddy to gag on the strong chemical stench.

As Diddy struggled with the toxic air, Wizpig laughed and leapt off the last solid ground, flying over Diddy and surging ahead—without the aid of the fat rocket he'd used in Future Fun Land.

Diddy had become very light-headed, but he shook himself back into focus and leaned forward, bee-lining across the Imulsion lake after Wizpig. The lake gradually began to dip downward, becoming a sluggish stream that led them along like the mythical river Styx leads the souls of the dead through Hades's Underworld.

And then the Imulsion river dropped off, becoming a torrential waterfall. Diddy cried out as he almost crashed into the rocky ceiling that had suddenly curved down in front of him. He followed Wizpig straight down, the steam almost obscuring his enemy from view as the distance between them continued to widen. He was beginning to feel as if they were about to penetrate the deepest circle of Hell when the waterfall finally leveled out and introduced another unique segment of the race.

Suspended above the Imulsion and built along jagged platforms of rock was a host of abandoned structures, dark and almost gothic in design, reminiscent of some kind of Transylvanian Mordor. Pointed spires and towers with broken windows and mausoleum-like buildings made up what had evidently once been the center of Locust civilization. Now, it was just an eerie relic to one of the many factions that had succumbed to Wizpig's new destructive powers. In spite of how evil these factions might have been, Diddy couldn't help but feel sobered by the evidence of such a genocide.

Wizpig briefly turned his head to smirk at Diddy before flying into the crypt-like city. Diddy narrowed his eyes; he didn't know exactly what losing this race would mean, but he was determined to deny this false god every satisfaction after learning how much pain the greedy swine had caused. He cast his eyes about as he began passing through the subterranean ghost town, and to his surprise spotted something he hadn't seen since his racing days: star-spotted balloons, tucked between pillars and scattered among the structures, their bright colors indicating what kind of aid they would provide Diddy upon collection.

Diddy turned the plane sideways and snagged a red balloon, arming himself with a single missile. But with a target as massive as Wizpig, one shot was all he needed. He lined himself up directly behind the flying pig and fired, the short red bullet whistling as it shot forward and caught its target in the rump.

Wizpig bellowed and tumbled through the air, regaining control of his flight before he fell into the Imulsion, but slowing down just enough for Diddy to catch up so that they were now navigating through the city side by side.

They weaved on for some time. Diddy used a boost he acquired from a blue balloon and a gas cloud from a green balloon, but the former only kept him in the running, and the latter had no effect, for Wizpig was now encircled about by an aura of dark blue mist, which absorbed the gaseous stumbling block like a hungry vacuum.

In response, Wizpig took the occasional opportunity to fire a bolt of yellow lightning at the chimp from above or below. Diddy barrel-rolled and loop-de-looped out of the way of the first two, but the third struck his plane with a searing agony he definitely didn't recall from his past encounters with Wizpig. His plane nosedived in an almost certain course toward the Imulsion.

Just in time, he activated the yellow balloon he'd haphazardly passed through on the way down. As he dived into the Imulsion, a jagged red ring began dancing around his plane, protecting him from whatever horrible effect the liquid might have otherwise had.

Wizpig turned briefly and watched Diddy fall into the luminous lake, his laugh booming through the Hollow. But when Diddy splashed back out of the Imulsion on his other side, taking the lead, he snarled and made after the Kong once more.

Now they had passed into another narrow tunnel, leaving behind the golden lake and deserted Locust city. The passage rolled up and down and spiraled like a roller coaster. Diddy felt like Wizpig was breathing right down his neck, but he didn't dare take his eyes off the path before him to look back. The loud hum of his propeller felt like a whirring bomb poised to explode at any second.

The tunnel coughed them out into another large chamber. This one returned to the ghostly teal glow from before, but spread across the cave floor were numerous pools of dark liquid with contorted figures writhing within just below the surface. What was more, frequently one of these creatures, known as Kryll, would emerge from one of the pools and flutter into the air, screeching like a bat. Only, it had the appearance of a gnarled, dark green claw with a featureless Venus Flytrap-like mouth instead of a wrist.

Diddy's eyes widened, but he pressed on. He sacrificed a bit of his lead to collect first one, two, then three red balloons, affording him an arsenal of ten missiles. Now he could deal with these blind creatures while maintaining a relatively straight course.

The first wave of Kryll came at him, and he scattered them with two shots that blasted the monsters apart. The Kryll breeding grounds curved slightly to the left as he went on. He didn't know how Wizpig was dealing with the Kryll; all he could hear were dozens of dying screeches, and now and then a yellow bolt would fire nearby, but the Kryll always blocked Wizpig's shot, albeit unintentionally.

They were getting close to the finish; Diddy could feel it in his gut. He wondered if by winning this race, he might somehow put a stop to Wizpig's ambitions by humiliating him for the third time. Then he would return home, hailed as the hero of Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, and the Islands. He had almost always adventured with the Kong family and his Timber's Island friends just for the fun of it, but now he felt a sense of purpose that he hadn't experienced even while fighting Master Hand's armies.

He saw the beginning of the bridge where the race had begun, and his heart leapt with excitement. At last, Wizpig's plot would be exposed, his conquests thwarted, his "godhood" retracted. RareWare could rebuild itself once more….

A cloud of midnight blue smoke appeared in front of him, placing Wizpig's wrathful figure in his path, far too close for him to avoid now. Wizpig's glowing eyes intensified along with the triumphant tone of his laugh. His head enlarged itself suddenly and unnaturally until it filled the passage, and his mouth gaped open to swallow Diddy Kong and all his final daydreams.


	25. Chapter 18: Suicide Mission (2)

Professor E. Gadd couldn't suppress a chuckle as he viewed the progress outside.

"Well, I'll be!" he said to those beside him, which included L.O.G., Dr. Clash, and Ryu. "I think we've just about got this battle in the bag! They should be surrendering any second now…" He, like most of the Smash Brothers' forces, was unaware of Marcus Fenix's mandate to fight to the last man.

But such an extreme soon became unnecessary.

At that moment, a massive cloud of dark blue smoke appeared out of nowhere, swirling softly but rapidly around the entire battlefield (or battlesea, in this case). It enshrouded every gunship, every battleship, every Pokémon and Pandoran cruiser and weaponized F-Zero racer, and finally, the Ark itself.

"Gadzooks!" Gadd almost fell over with shock. "Ryu?" he yelled. "What's going on?"

Before the ninja could respond, L.O.G. spoke up, his Pong bars widening. "It is… _him._ "

"Who?"

"The Great Moon Deity."

The blue clouds dissipated as quickly as they had appeared, depositing all of both armies right beside the coast of Reach. This gave Gadd pause until he realized why the amphibious destination was necessary.

Not only had those on the Rapturian front been teleported here, but also…well…pretty much everyone else. On both land and sea, the Microsians were grouped apart from the Sonian, Atarian, and Nintendonian armies.

On or above the water, there were the Seran battleships; the Bathyspheres; the Pandoran cruisers; the Spartan gunships; the aquatic and airborne Pokémon; the Beanish warriors mounted on their Bean Pods; the Timber's Island racers; Master Jiggywiggy and the Jinjos; all the Atarians; the Cornerian Fleet and the Great Fox; the Ark and all of its occupants; the Zoras and Enguarde the Swordfish; the fleet of Veldinians and Haven City's Freedom League; Spyro's flock of dragons; Rayman's airships from the Glade of Dreams; the paper mâché sailboats from Craftworld; the _Normandy_ and all its passengers, crewmember and otherwise; the Seven Star Spirits; Cipher and his Strangerealean air force; Kameo and the elves of the Enchanted Kingdom; and the massive Spartan frigate.

The rest were spread across the shore in a huge throng: the Vault Hunters; Jack Wynand (who was still in his Big Daddy suit); the Megalandian Robot Soldiers and their onetime enslaver Legion; the Spartan foot soldiers and tanks; Wolf's Dragoons and the other BattleMechs; the Tediz; Toon Link; Link; Zelda; Bomberman; the Chestnut King and the Wafflites; April; Lance; the land-based Pokémon; the Delfinians; Bowser; Dedede; Kirby (who had discarded his ADAM Copy Ability and was very confused as to why his duel against Jack Wynand had been so suddenly cut off); Pit; DK; Mario; Luigi; Marth; Princess Nyna; Gotoh; Jody Summer; Gary; Mewtwo; Bottles; Jam-Jars; Humba Wumba; Mr. Game & Watch; Dixie Kong; the Ice Climbers; Red; Quentin; Banjo & Kazooie; Megaman; Princess Peach; Perry; Toadsworth; Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky Kong; Sonic and the rest of the Mobians; Bass and Treble; the Robot Masters; Ratchet and Clank; Sly Cooper and his comrades; Jak and Daxter; Crash and Crunch Bandicoot and the other Tasmanian creatures; Sackboy; Yoshi; Prince Peasley; Falco; Meta Knight; Roy; Ness; Joanna Dark.

Donkey Kong watched from the shore beside many of his fellow Smash Brothers and those of the Kong family who were present as the dark blue clouds converged at the center of the enormous congregation. He had been looking forward to their imminent victory over Microsoft, but now it seemed like things were about to get a lot worse; these clouds reminded him uncomfortably of the purple ones that had appeared shortly before Master Hand and Crazy Hand had revealed their true form as Master, then as the Behemoth, and finally as Nightmare.

But this time, as the dark mist trailed off into nothingness, a very different figure was revealed: a 30-foot caped pig whose portrait DK remembered only too well from Timber's Island. Wizpig. He appeared to be holding something small in one hand, but no one was near enough to be able to identify what it was.

A silence swept across the thousands of fighters—even Microsoft. It seemed that few, if any of them, had ever actually seen their revered Moon Deity in person. And the greed and lust for power radiating from those yellow eyes were enough to stun even the boldest of soldiers.

"What's with This World and evil pigs?" Kazooie remarked from somewhere behind the Kongs. "There's already Ganon from Hyrule...Pigma from Corneria…Porky from Onett…"

"Do not forget Midbus from the Mushroom Kingdom," added L.O.G., who had somehow floated over and appeared among those on shore without anyone noticing.

"Good one," Kazooie admitted. "Obscure, too…"

"Hey, Kazooie," Banjo said, trying his hand at a joke of his own. "You know all those times you've said 'when pigs fly?'…"

"Hello, worms and gents," Wizpig's voice boomed, cutting off the chatty bear and bird, reaching even the farthest members of the vast congregation. "It's time to put an end to this petty conflict. My loyal subjects…" His eyes scanned across the Microsians. "You've fought well, and you'll all be rewarded for your fealty beyond anything you can imagine. Still, your efforts come up short; those who would divide our world like slices of pizza have apparently proven beyond your ability to handle. But I, being your merciful deity, shall make up the difference where your competence is lacking."

Wizpig's eyes flashed with passion as he turned his attention to the Nintendonians, Sonians, and Atarians. "As for all you worms who thought you could break us, who thought you were fighting a just war, who thought you could kill a god, let me tell you what the Copyright Wars were really about."

DK's brain was filled with an almost inexplicable dread, with an equally strong loathing; he could see why Diddy and the other racers despised this monstrous alien so much. The fear was evident in the way all their little planes hovered so hesitantly at the front of the airborne crowd. And what was in Wizpig's hand?

"You have been lied to, Nintendo," Wizpig continued, "by an organization called RareWare. I should know; I was once one of them. We claimed to promote peace, to maintain neutrality and self-government away from the three major mainlands. Our founding mission was to build excellent worlds free from the weaknesses of other kingdoms that would hold us back from progress—free to become the best of all the worlds.

"But…" Wizpig snorted. "the other board members of RareWare failed to see my vision of the future. I foresaw the excellence of RareWare becoming the greatest business of all time—not only building up the best worlds, but creating a conglomerate network of racetracks that would allow me to rule as the greatest racer ever known. And not only on a few islands and fringe nations, but across all of Smash Planet! This was to become my legacy!

"But fools like Taj and L.O.G. and Jiggywiggy didn't have the guts to take RareWare to the next level…and so I left and set out to accomplish this vision of a united Smash Planet on my own. I gave Microsoft a taste of the marvels my powers could perform for them, and yet when most of the affiliates of RareWare rebelled against This World's destiny, _they_ plunged the planet into war."

Both L.O.G. and Master Jiggywiggy remained surprisingly still and calm in the midst of these accusations. The same could not be said, however, of Kameo and Joanna Dark. They were the only other members of the original RareWare still present (DK had no memory of being involved with RareWare, so he inferred that Cranky had been DK Isle's representative), and they appeared rather incensed. But they said nothing, waiting to see what Wizpig's next move would be.

Wizpig's porcine smile widened. "And so, Smash Worms, and all who've sided with you, you're left with a choice." He gestured out with his arms toward the ocean. "Join me; become part of your planet's destiny as a united, unequaled world…or be destroyed!"

It was then that Professor E. Gadd sent a discreet message on the communicators of all the Smash Brothers who had one. DK felt his vibrate from within the secret pocket of his necktie and pulled it out.

 _DO NOT ENGAGE._

Despite his recent grievances with the professor, DK might have actually listened to him—had it not been for what Wizpig did next.

"If you're having trouble making up your mind," he said, holding up the small thing in his hand, "behold the fate of the self-proclaimed hero who rejects the future."

He let it drop from his pudgy fist. And as it fell, DK soon knew what it was. But he didn't want to believe it.

Diddy Kong's body crashed onto the shore of Reach, nearest to the Kongs and the Smashers. He appeared physically unharmed (other than from the fall), and yet there was no mistake. He was gone.

"No…" DK lumbered over and picked Diddy up in his arms. The chimp's red hat had fallen several feet away, which made him seem uncharacteristically common, like a wild animal hunted down by poachers. DK wanted to find peace in his nephew's final expression—but there was none. Only sorrow. Only pain.

"Diddy!" Dixie ran up with Tiny, Lanky, and Chunky and grabbed her dearest friend's shoulders. Her face was already wet; for her, Diddy had been more than her best friend. He had been her future.

And so the Kongs just stood there, shocked into silence or sobbing. DK's whole body trembled, heaving with rage. He looked back at the other Smashers, who appeared sympathetic but unsure how to react. Even Jumpman, Donkey Kong's oldest enemy, was a friend to him now. And now that Diddy had been taken from his family, DK knew there was only one thing left to do, whatever Gadd might say.

"Go to your racers! Now!" he bellowed, himself scrambling over to his Banana Blaster and jumping inside. After a moment, Mario nodded and followed suit, climbing into his Red Blaze. And then others: Luigi and his Poltergust 5000; Bowser and his Shell Shocker; Marth and his Reckoner; Kirby and his Hyper Star; Mewtwo and his Psywave; G.W. and his Black Buggy; the Ice Climbers and their Freezoomer; Pikachu and his Zap Cannon; Jigglypuff and her Rollout Royce. And though not all of the Smashers had access to a racer, Link found his Lightspeed Arrow conveniently available nearby, and Zelda her Fairy Flyer.

The thirteen members of the Original 25 lifted off almost simultaneously, and DK led their formation in a direct course toward Wizpig's giant, bemused figure. He felt his anger and grief channel into an adrenaline rush as they picked up speed as only F-Zero Racers could. And then, without any concept of time, they engaged the Great Moon Deity in battle.

Some vehicles peeled off in either direction, encircling Wizpig and letting loose a rainbow of projectiles: jets of fire; blasts of icy mist; waves of Psychic energy; spheres of crackling electricity; crossbow-propelled Bomb Arrows; bursts of sparkling blue magic.

The rest took a more physical approach: The Shell Shocker, Banana Blaster, Reckoner, Hyper Star, Black Buggy, and Rollout Royce charged straight toward Wizpig's face in a magnificent line of power and speed.

But Wizpig's laughter roared above everything else as the dark clouds surrounding him absorbed all the ranged attacks like a sponge. Those on a collision course were violently rejected by the same gaseous force, sending them spinning in all directions.

Wizpig followed up with a yellow energy bolt, casting it from his hand straight into the tumbling Rollout Royce.

"Pika!"

As Jigglypuff's racer exploded, her fellow Pokémon left his own racer, using Quick Attack to push both of them out of harm's way. They fell into the water and began making their way back to shore, looking up helplessly at their friends.

While this battle took place, many of the thousands of spectators considered entering the fray. But the Microsians loyal to their deity did not wish to risk inciting Wizpig's wrath by accidentally hitting him, and the allied Nintendonians, Sonians, and Atarians were likewise concerned about hitting one of the Smashers. There was one party, however, that made its approach regardless, flying down toward Wizpig in a V formation.

The racers of Timber's Island: Pipsy, Tiptup, Timber, Bumper, Krunch, and T.T., with Drumstick at the head. The rooster, who had been the first to ever defeat Wizpig in a race, narrowed his eyes, held up a wing, and brought it forward, signaling for all of them to activate the force fields they had each acquired from the magic of three yellow balloons. Jagged neon green rings danced around each of them as they dive-bombed behind Wizpig.

The Moon Deity snarled as Drumstick, followed by the rest, passed through the midnight blue mist unharmed and rammed against his head, shoulders, and torso, flying on to begin their U-turn that would bring them back for another strike.

But in spite of the powerful force fields, Wizpig snatched one of the racers as he passed by, crushing Bumper's plane together with its pilot and allowing the panda's body to follow the mechanical remains into the sea.

"Bumper!" Pipsy squeaked in terror.

Drumstick squawked with rage as he and the surviving racers banked steeply to the right, narrowly dodging a yellow bolt.

"You'll pay for that, Pighead!"

Now another group made its approach: Banjo & Kazooie, accompanied by Master Jiggywiggy and his swarm of shining Jiggies and the five sparkling Jinjos.

"Calabunga!" Kazooie screeched, proceeding to cough up a series of Grenade Eggs while activating her latest batch of Gold Feathers, which would make her and Banjo invulnerable to the blue smoke. The Jiggies and Jinjos made a direct charge, striking Wizpig as they passed by.

Suddenly, the dark clouds spread outward in a shockwave, pushing back all of Wizpig's attackers before converging back around the beast's figure, rippling like flames. Wizpig's yellow eyes were now accentuated by angry red pupils as he addressed all who opposed him.

"Now you'll _all_ suffer for these worms' rebellion. Behold, the instrument of the Smash Brothers' destruction!"

From above, what could only be described as a purple UFO shaped like a pig's head descended toward its master, almost as large as either the WarioWare Ark or the Spartan frigate. Its yellow eyes were the malicious equivalent of its living likeness.

At first it seemed as if the ship would beam Wizpig up and leave them all in peace. But that, of course, wouldn't have made much sense in conjunction with Wizpig's words, and accordingly, the ship pivoted until it faced its target: the Ark. Its "nose" began glowing with the same deadly sunshine yellow of Wizpig's energy bolts, and a few long seconds later, it fired a slow beam as thick as Wizpig's body, with the sure promise of annihilation.

* * *

"WAAAH!"

On the Ark's command bridge, Wario frantically felt around the control panels, trying to think of what he could do to save their lives, and more importantly, his money, from this apocalyptic beam. The Ark's shields were at a meager 30% from the Battle of Rapture, and he had a sinking feeling that wouldn't be enough to withstand this rather painful form of divine intervention.

He found himself being shaken violently by an irate Gadd, whose glasses had been knocked askew.

"Gadzooks, lad! Now is not the time to panic. Surely you have some last resort security measures, yes?"

Wario shook his own head rapidly, but it was not to say no; it was to clear his mind.

"Er…yes. But it will deplete all of our a-shields and shut a-down all systems that aren't keeping us in the sky."

"Well, by golly, just do it!" Dr. Clash said.

Wario turned to Waluigi, who was just staring at him with the same panicked expression.

"It's a-time to use that Hylian trinket we bought from Chet a-Rippo last a-month. Activate the Switch a-Hook." He glanced out the command bridge's window. "Target the frigate."

"Yeah."

Waluigi obeyed without argument, opening up a thick metal case on one of the panels and punching in a complicated series of codes before slamming his palm on a big, ominous black button.

"Switch Hook?" Dr. Clash said curiously. "What does that do?"

Wario's jagged mustache twitched with anticipation. "You'll a-see."

From the exterior of the Ark, a relatively small panel shifted aside to allow a spring-loaded, blue-pronged hook to shoot out. It extended itself all the way to the Magnetic Accelerator Cannon on the Spartan Frigate's roof, clamping around the coil gun's barrel.

An instant later, the Ark and the frigate switched places.

And that left the beam from Wizpig's spaceship heading toward an altogether different target.

* * *

A glowing orange Plasma Whip wrapped itself around Master Chief's Energy Sword and yanked it out of his grip just before it plunged into Solid Snake's chest. Even as the Spartan commander-in-chief turned to find the source of this interruption, Samus propelled herself straight into him with her Jet Boots, sending both of them crashing into the nearest stack of metal crates.

Still pressed against the crate, the Chief grabbed both of Samus's wrists as she attempted to bring the stolen Energy Sword full circle across his throat. He crushed the hand holding the sword with such strength that it broke the handle and the weapon itself, the sapphire blade winking out of existence as its broken pieces fell uselessly to the ground. Samus screamed as at least a few of her fingers were broken. She brought up her foot and kicked against his chest, pushing herself free and raising her Plasma Whip again.

"Falcon Kick!"

Master Chief was barreled over by Captain Falcon's fiery attack, and they rolled over each other, jabbing and kicking and reaching for each other's throats. But the Spartan's armor protected him well, and his chemically enhanced strength ultimately overpowered the Mute City native, and he finally flung the man onto the floor and brought back his fist for what would surely be a skull-crushing blow against the already-injured captain.

The Plasma Whip wrapped itself around Master Chief's neck, pulling him back as he struggled to grasp at its burning cords. But Samus pulled harder, not relenting as he sank to his knees, his only unarmored spot causing his whole body to suffer, no matter how chemically enhanced the supersoldier might have been.

She kept pulling for a very long thirty seconds until finally, Master Chief stopped struggling and relented, resigned to his fate.

"That is enough."

Snake stumbled over to stand over his Microsian nemesis, Captain Falcon joining him. They barely spared each other a glance. They could deal with each other's personal grievances later.

Samus loosened her grip just enough to stop the Chief from completely suffocating.

Snake clutched at his battered ribcage, grunting and breathing as heavily as everyone else.

"Care to do the honors, Snake?" Samus nodded toward one of the Spartan guns lying on the floor nearby. Snake winced as he bent down to pick it up, only to find it already extended toward him by Falcon, who was looking at him meaningfully. Snake took the gun without a word, cocked it, and pointed it at Master Chief.

"Before I end this," he panted, "I have to know one thing. That day on Shadow Moses Island…when the All-Stars infiltrated the base…why did you kill Meryl Silverburgh? I was willing to do whatever you asked. She meant nothing to you. Why?"

Master Chief took several seconds to gather enough breath to speak. For the first time, Snake witnessed this great leader talk in a subdued tone. "If I showed you mercy," he gasped, "then Sony would have perceived it as weakness, and they would think they could resist our stewardship and succeed. If you're any less foolish now than you were that day, then you'll make the same choice. The soldier's duty. Kill me. Doom yourselves to the Great Moon Deity's wrath."

None of them realized that by now, the frigate was no longer in Vigoor; it had been teleported by Wizpig's magic to the coast of Reach, next to Nintendo's Ark. Through the trapdoor above, the Spartans on the command deck were beginning to shout in alarm, but down below, in the intensity of this moment, nothing else mattered to Snake. His body shook in violent fits, his ruddy face smeared with dirt and blood.

"First," he said," let's find out who's under that helmet. I want to look into your eyes when I kill you. Just as you looked into mine as you murdered her."

"Wait." Captain Falcon held up an arm to block Snake's approach. His own white eye slits stared into Snake's enraged face. "Give the man what little dignity he's got left."

Snake was too consumed with emotion to argue. He was about to raise his gun again when the Spartan's communicator sounded from the Chief's helmet for all to hear.

"Chief, do you copy? I repeat, the frigate has somehow been teleported by some beast to the coast of Reach. All the Nintendonians and their allies are here, as are our allies. They've been fighting the beast, but it's summoned a ship and it's attacking the Smash Brothers' Ark. We need you back on the bridge, Chief. It's—"

A massive force shook the entire frigate violently, almost knocking Snake, Falcon, and Samus off their feet. The shouts from above increased, now intermingled with screams. With the g-force of a freefalling elevator, they could all feel a huge piece of the frigate breaking off from the rest.

"Evacuate the frigate, captain. See our men to safety."

"But sir…what about—"

"I will be fine. Go now. That's an order, soldier."

Master Chief cut off transmission and looked at Snake. "You're still welcome to kill me. But I assure you that you won't get off this vessel alive without my knowledge of the escape pods."

Snake almost pulled the trigger anyway. But his better sense barely prevailed, and he lowered the barrel. "Fine. Get us out of here, earn yourself a couple extra days of life. Doesn't matter to me. In fact, I'd like to see you arraigned before _our_ courts for a change."

* * *

After being strangled by the Plasma Whip, Master Chief was no longer a physical threat to the heroes, but they kept gun and Paralyzer trained on him from behind as he led them down the metallic green hallways and emergency stairwells. The alarms were shrilling and flashing red. No Spartans were left to cross paths with them. All of them walked with a limp, Snake trying to block out the agony of his crushed ribs, Samus cradling her broken hand. Every now and then, the floor beneath them would tilt significantly one way or the other, or jar them against the wall as pieces of the frigate came apart.

At last, they came to the large bay, where most of the escape pods had already left. But here was where they beheld the rift where the entire front half of the frigate had been blasted off by the spaceship's beam. The wind roared from the missing wall to their left, with broken metal plates and frames breaking off continually as the failing frigate quickly fell apart. The bay, open to the sky, was empty save for a single thumb-shaped escape pod the size of a large pickup truck, encased in a durable space metal.

They pushed against the billowing wind toward the pod, Samus's and Snake's hair rippling like living organisms. And then, suddenly, Master Chief came to a stop, still facing away from them.

"Get a move on," Samus said, jabbing his back with her Paralyzer.

"This thing's going down, Chief," Falcon said. "It's time to go."

Several more seconds of unexpected silence. Then, in what seemed like one sweeping motion, Master Chief pulled a small blue Plasma Pistol from within his chest plate and spun around, firing three well-aimed rounds at his captors.

It was a point blank shot, and both Samus and Captain Falcon were blasted to the ground, well on their way to unconsciousness, but for now simply incapacitated from any kind of action. Snake barely dodged the blast headed for him by dropping flat on the ground, his soldier's instinct setting off all kinds of alarms with the Master Chief's strange pause. He rolled, ignoring the pain of his crushed ribcage and narrowly avoiding several more shots, and raised the Spartan gun—this one lethal—bringing him and the Chief to a standoff.

"I never promised you anything," Master Chief reminded them. "But now, it looks like I won't have to kill you; nature will take care of that well enough."

As if in agreement, the frigate lurched again and a sizeable chunk of the bay's floor tore away, falling down toward the ocean some 200 feet below.

As Master Chief backed away toward the last escape pod, his gun trained on Snake at all times, Samus raised her head weakly and called after him.

"You're some hero, Chief. I'm sure Cortana would be proud."

Master Chief froze, turning his head slowly toward her, though still ready to shoot Snake at the slightest sign of movement. They way he then spoke was different from anything they'd heard from him before. Now it sounded like a man carrying an enormous burden. More personal. Human, even.

"You don't know a damn thing about Cortana."

Samus sat all the way up now. She was strangely calm, almost conversational. "That's where you're wrong. When I first learned I'd be going to Sony and Microsoft, I read up on every galactic database I could find on my ship's computer. You've had a hell of a life, saving worlds from the Covenant and the Flood. And when Cortana's entire system was torn apart by some unknown hacker, I guess I can understand putting your trust in someone willing to help you defeat your enemies. But look and see what that trust has bought you."

Strangely enough, none of the other three had really looked out the missing wall; they had been too intent on escaping with their lives. But now, Master Chief and Captain Falcon and Solid Snake turned their attention to the spectacle beyond (the two with guns still poised for a firefight).

They were high enough that most of the gathered thousands were small blurs, the majority of their view consisting of the dark browns of Reach and the deep blues of the ocean. But even from this distance, Wizpig could be distinguished at the center, his deep laugh echoing up at them as the pigface spaceship opened a hatch underneath and allowed dozens of smaller likenesses of itself to pour out. The scene erupted into war once more as the foreigners to Microsoft found themselves assaulted by many thick yellow laser bursts. Even among the Microsians, only a few Spartans actively joined the fight against Nintendo, Sony, and Atari; some, like those on the _Normandy_ , actually took up arms against their motherland's god; but most just stood there, baffled by the unexpected presence of their Great Deity and unsure how to respond.

Master Chief turned back to Falcon, Snake, and Samus.

"Revolutions are by necessity built on blood. And peace is bought by it. My only regret is we didn't have the resources to establish the new order before Cortana's was spilt."

He said nothing more, but stepped into the escape pod's hatch and lifted up and out before any of those he'd left behind could find the strength to protest.

Captain Falcon shook his head dizzily, blinking rapidly to regain his senses after being struck by the Plasma Pistol. He stood up shakily and looked over at Snake. "Why didn't you shoot him?"

In response, Snake took out the gun's magazine, revealing that it had been out of ammunition the entire time.

"One of us at least had to keep his senses."

Samus was on her feet now, too, though leaning heavily on Falcon for support. "Doesn't matter much now, does it? We're going down with the proverbial ship."

Falcon put his arm around her. "It was a good try, Sam. But that guy's ego's as thick as his helmet. You might as well have been trying to teach Kirby table manners."

"Actually," Snake said, pulling out a flat metal disk that had been strapped to his back, "I may have a way out."

He unfolded the device and pressed a few buttons that caused it to round out like a very wide Bundt cake pan, with a propeller in the middle and a sort of tripod camera perched on top.

"Cypher," he explained. "FOXHOUND aerial surveillance. Should at least get us low enough to where the fall won't be fatal." He switched the device on, and the propeller began to spin.

"Can it support all our weight?" Samus asked, fascinated by the technology in spite of their current life-and-death situation.

Snake shrugged. "I've never used it with anyone else before. But we have to try."

It was then that a stray shot from one of Wizpig's smaller spaceships struck the roof of the evacuation bay. A huge piece of the ceiling snapped off and fell toward the frigate's three remaining occupants.

Samus felt herself being pushed forward and collapsed painfully onto the ridged metal surface. She turned back and found Snake in a similarly confused position.

They stood back up and returned to find their third team member all but crushed underneath the collapsed ceiling. Captain Falcon's lower body was hidden under a six-inch-thick sheet of metal the size of a small swimming pool. Samus swore and knelt down beside him and grabbed his hand.

"Are you all right?"

Meanwhile, Snake attempted to lift the slab, but of course to no avail. He searched around frantically for some way to cut it off, wincing from his lingering injuries.

"Don't worry, Falcon, we're getting you out of there."

"Sam…"

Though Captain Falcon twitched with suppressed pain, his muscled torso, his shoulders and neck, were strangely relaxed, his helmet slightly askew and his features revealing a mix of post-stun haziness and deep, tranquil affection. He squeezed Samus's hand and pulled her close.

"Go with Snake. We both know there's no getting out of this."

Samus, against her will, felt her tear wells filling up. "Don't be ridiculous. We've got plenty of time…"

As if begging to disagree, the floor beneath her feet began to crack. Snake had to leap out of the way as a sizeable chunk of the floor was torn away, leaving little space for them to move. And very little time to do it.

"There must be something!" Snake yelled in frustration as he tore back and forth, hoping to somehow stumble across a handheld laser cutter or something.

Falcon released his grip on Samus's hand and smiled wanly. "This is one argument you can't win, Sam. Now go."

But Samus couldn't leave his side. The whipping wind swept the moisture from her eyes as soon as it began to trickle down. A lifetime of bottled emotion, of armor that had been chipped away piece by piece by this man over the past few weeks, finally blew its top. She leaned down and kissed him.

Snake put a gentle hand on Samus's shoulder as the two parted, the whirring Cypher held in his other. He looked down on Falcon with he didn't know what kind of emotion. Gratitude? That word hardly seemed complex enough. Then Falcon met his eyes.

"Take care of each other."

Snake just nodded. His mind wasn't coherent enough to say anything in response.

Still, Samus found herself unable to get back up, her arms wrapped around the blue racing uniform. "I'm not leaving you."

Falcon laughed softly, but pushed her away into Snake's waiting arms just as the floor running up to the fallen ceiling snapped off, plunging the two of them into the open air.

"NO!" Samus screamed as she clung onto the Cypher-assisted Snake, looking over her shoulder as several more laser bursts hit the command bridge and the rear engines. The frigate's internal systems ignited, the superheated energy forcing its way out in the form of a massive explosion that consumed all that remained of the Spartan command ship. The last part to be engulfed in roiling flames was the evacuation bay, and she could have sworn Captain Falcon had raised himself up enough to watch their descent, seeing them off with a salute.

* * *

Master Chief expertly steered the evacuation pod clear of all projectiles, energy or otherwise. He maneuvered down toward the center where Wizpig gloated over his effortless battle against the Smashers, who were still coming at him with their modified racers, over and over again.

But what Master Chief found himself focused on was the immense difference in demeanor between Wizpig and his enemies. The Great Moon Deity's eyes flared with hatred and greed and sadistic pleasure. That was the rage that had saved Microsoft from countless evils. But then the Nintendonians…the way the Smash Brothers rallied around and protected each other; the way they despaired as broken pieces of the frigate fell on some of their comrades; the way they died for each other; these were things he had not expected from the murderous aliens Wizpig had always described. In fact, they reminded him uncomfortably of himself—or at least, a version of himself that no longer seemed to exist.

 _Sacrifices must always be made for the greater good. Cortana would have understood that. Wouldn't she?_

He could picture her so clearly in his mind: the luminescent aqua blue body and silky black hair, so real that she seemed so much more than a holographic apparition. Her intense, beautiful features, her eyes filled with the depths of a galaxy's wisdom. Her wit. Her level-headedness. Her desire to do good for all people, everywhere.

He reached Wizpig's side, who glanced at him in amusement even as he grabbed another Timber's Island racer out of the air. The tiny yellow mouse piloting it squeaked with terror as Wizpig waved her around in the air, like a malicious child playing with a toy with the intention of breaking it.

"Just in time, Master Chief," the god said, ready to crush Pipsy in his pudgy hand. "These worms are all mine, but feel free to kill whoever else you'd like. This is a buffet of broken dreams, and now we feast!"

Time seemed to slow down. His mind and body parted ways as his thoughts were filled with Cortana, and with all the comrades he'd lost over the years. What their deaths had meant for his future. And what kind of future he had purchased with theirs.

His body, on the other hand, took a completely separate path. He watched it grab a particularly long Energy Sword from within the pod, opening the hemispherical glass door, and pushing himself out. It gripped the blade tightly and skewered the pig's thick, almost nonexistent neck. The dark blue clouds surrounding the beast didn't stop it; they had been focused on where they thought the real threat was. His body forced itself in an irregular run around Wizpig's head, dragging the sword in a circle until completing a perimeter and bounding back into the waiting pod. And it watched as Wizpig's head rolled off his shoulders, leaving a bloody stump in its wake, the yellow glow fading from its surprised eyes as it crashed into the water, followed a few seconds later by the rest of the body.

Then Master Chief's mind and body reconciled, and came to discover they both wanted the same thing.

Redemption.


	26. Chapter 19: Snakehead (1)

Chapter 19: Snakehead

* * *

 **The Copyright Wars**

 **Battle of Kongo Jungle**

* * *

 _ **S**_ _nake, Master Chief, Marcus Fenix, and the rest of the Sonian and Microsian military leaders were arranged at the front of their armies, All-Stars and Sentinels alike ready to wage their final battle against Nintendo and to end this war._

 _Who was there to fight?_

 _Almost everyone._

 _The Chief with his frigate and gunships and hundreds of Spartans; Fenix with his dozens of battleships and hundreds of COG soldiers; Ryu with his hundreds of Hayabusa Ninjas in long wooden sampans; Wolf's Dragoons and other BattleMechs stationed on the battleships; the Vault Hunters and their Pandoran Cruisers and hundreds of space cowboys; Commander John Shepard's_ SSV Normandy _and several other Systems Alliance shuttles; Jack Wynand and his scores of Bathyspheres, Splicers, and Big Daddies; the strike force of Tediz (although their sworn enemy, Conker, was currently in hiding somewhere on Timber's Island)._

 _Snake and his last copter of FOXHOUND comrades; Spyro and his hundreds of dragons; Sonic, Shadow, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy; Crash Bandicoot and the strongest of his animal experiment friends; Ratchet and Clank's_ Aphelion _and a flock of Veldinian jets; Jak and Daxter and the_ Phantom Blade _and the remaining Metalheads and the airborne forces of the Freedom League; Sly Cooper and his cohorts; Cipher and the Strangerealean Air Force; Megaman and Bass and the Robot Masters and Soldiers, all encased in sapphire Megalandian transports; Sackboy and Craftworld's origami boats; Rayman and Globox and the Glade of Dreams airships._

 _Gathered at the expansive shore of the Kongo Jungle were the Nintendonian forces, which were no more than half the size of their adversaries'. Mario, Luigi, and Peach, heading a septet of Bowser's airships (without either the Koopa King or his children); Prince Peasley and an entourage of Beanish soldiers; Link, Sheik (Zelda in her Sheikah disguise), Impa, Ganondorf, and their Hylian soldiers and monsters; Kirby, King Dedede, and Dreamland's myriad creatures; the Ice Climbers and the Topis and Polar Bears of the Icicle Mountains; Captain Falcon and an assortment of F-Zero racers rearing to ride; Marth, Roy, Princess Nyna, Gotoh, and the mages and warriors of Akanaeia; hundreds of assorted Pokémon led by Pokémon League Champion Gary and the Elite Four (Lance, Agatha, Bruno, and Lorelei); the Yoshis, Wafflites, and Delfinians who had escaped their respective sieges; Bomberman; Rocketman, Pacman, and the other Atarians; Banjo & Kazooie and their fellow Isle o' Hags refugees; Taj and the Timber's Island racers; and, of course, the Kongs and the Kremlings and the colorful Kongo critters._

 _The storm was ready to break. The Nintendonian defenders were fierce, but fearful: The odds were not in their favor._

 _There was no talk—only a chilling roar of noise as the Microsian and Sonian armies closed in on them like a tidal wave._

 _And then, as if that weren't bad enough, a massive creature rose from the water in front of the Bathyspheres, being the first to set foot on Nintendonian land. Up in one of the airships, Mario and Luigi paled at the sight. It was…Bowser?_

 _"Mama mía…"_

 _Bowser, who had been taken prisoner by Microsoft during the Battle of Delfino Island—only, now he was about ten times bigger, as large as the Giga Bowser that Mario would one day face. He looked, if it was possible, more savage than before, his bulging muscles stretching out his scaly skin to the point where it was all a pale green or, in the case of his snout and belly, a ghostly off-white. His red hair was a deeper bloody hue; his horns curling demonically; his claws obsidian black and his eyes shining with the lifeless yellow glow of the Rapturian chemical ADAM. Microsoft had used this corruptive substance not only to enhance the Koopa King's strength several times over, but to turn him against his own world, even his old minions._

 _ADAM Bowser exhaled viciously, a wide stream of yellow flames gushing from his maw and pushing back the first several rows of Nintendonian defenders. He spat a meteoric fireball, which exploded into the jungle behind them, causing an instant forest fire of sorts that would cut off any Nintendonian who thought of escaping. He roared again and lumbered forward with his enslavers close behind._

 _The final battle commenced in earnest. A crossfire of bullets and lasers and bursts of energy and magic and fire and ice and lightning and almost every other conceivable projectile preceded the actual collision of bodies. Battleships sent barges of soldiers to shore while others jumped off their boats or gunships or other flying vessels to join the fray. Sentinels, All-Stars, and future Smash Brothers quickly zoned in on each other, each side knowing their enemies' leaders to be their greatest threat._

 _The duels and face-offs that ensued were too numerous to list. Sheik and Link confronted Ryu Hayabusa and Sly Cooper. The Pandoran Siren Lilith and the Edenese Biotic Ashley Williams tag-teamed against Ganondorf and Gotoh in a battle of telekinesis, Mass Effect manipulation, and sorcery. Sonic and his four fellow Mobians challenged Gary's and the Elite Four's strongest Pokémon: Blastoise; Dragonite; Gengar; Machamp; Jynx. the Ice Climbers sparred with Rayman; Banjo & Kazooie with Spyro; Pacman with Jack Wynand._

 _Amidst the glow of the yellow flames, the battle raged all along the spacious shore and even into the jungle itself in a sort of frenetic guerrilla warfare. Mario, Luigi, Kirby, and many of the other heroes planted themselves in the path of ADAM Bowser's rampage._

 _"We've a-got to find a way to bring Bowser a-back," Mario said, not feeling particularly up for the latest superpowered Bowser incarnation—especially since this one didn't look like it would be playing by any of the few rules of battle he and Bowser had usually honored._

 _"This could a-be our toughest fight a-yet," Luigi said, trying to stop his body from trembling. Those black claws were as long as his entire body, and as ADAM Bowser approached them, it seemed to be grinning like a wolf about to break into a sheep pen._

 _Kirby yawned blissfully and looked about him for something interesting to eat. His face brightened at the sight of one of Dedede's monsters: an orange ball with a red sleeping cap, otherwise known as a Noddy, for the obvious reason that it was fast asleep in the middle of a war. He turned to Luigi and pointed his stub at ADAM Bowser._

 _"Hammer!" he said._

 _"Wha?" Luigi scratched his head._

 _Kirby gave no further explanation, but inhaled the Noddy, swallowed, yawned even wider, and fell over fast asleep with a blue and yellow polka-dotted sleeping cap of his own._

 _ADAM Bowser was now nearly upon them. It roared and drew back its head, preparing another apocalyptic fireball, except now its target was directly in front of it. Not a high chance of survival for anything in its way._

 _Suddenly, it clicked. Luigi drew his Super Hammer, walked up to the snoozing puffball, drew back his weapon, and swung as hard as he could._

 _Sleep Kirby soared directly into ADAM Bowser's face, landing conveniently on its monstrous nose. It growled and began pawing at its face to dislodge the unwanted hitchhiker. Luigi was beginning to feel the horror of having sent a friend to his death when ADAM Bowser's swipes gradually started to slow down; the fiery glow in the back of its throat died away; its yellow eyes drooped; and with the approximate impact of King Kong falling from the Empire State Building, it wobbled and collapsed backward onto its shell, crushing several dozen Splicers and falling asleep half-submerged in the ocean. Kirby, instead of waking up and rejoining the battle, continued his nap atop the sleeping giant in a rather comical fashion._

 _"Yahoo!" Mario and Luigi and many of the other Nintendonians cheered at Kirby's unorthodox feat. But their moment of victory was cut off when something happened that put an immediate end to the battle—at least the one they had been waging up until that point._

 _A darkness overshadowed the entire sky like a sudden solar eclipse. A swirling purple current surged between the two sides, cutting off all conflict. The purple energy billowed like a malignant cloud above the line between Nintendo and its foes, and from the depths of that cloud boomed a deep, unfamiliar laugh—unfamiliar at the time, that is. The intangible chill felt by all present caused a timorous silence and stillness to sweep across every person, creature, mutant, and machine._

 _The purple currents swirling between the armies forced them further and further apart, until Microsoft and Sony were nearly pushed back into the ocean and the Nintendonians forced into the Kongo Jungle. And then, the currents took form on the shore in a most peculiar design._

 _Thousands of metallic amethyst polygons, unnaturally sentient like heretically animated minerals. The many facets on each head and limb reflected ADAM Bowser's still-raging fire, possessing absolutely no faces, clothing, or, as far as Mario and the rest could tell, emotion. He was stumped by what these beings' body structures reminded him of until one jumped in front of him with the plumber's exact proportions._

 _They represented a dozen Nintendonian heroes, all of whom would one day make up the most experienced core of the Original 25, those who had been invited by Master Hand to his very first Smash Tournament:_

 _Luigi; Mario; Donkey Kong; Link; Samus; Captain Falcon; Ness; Yoshi; Kirby; Fox; Pikachu; Jigglypuff._

 _Polygons._

 _The sourceless laughter continued as the Fighting Polygons rushed in every direction, plunging Microsians, Sonians, Atarians, and Nintendonians alike into an entirely different battle._

 _Mario winced as he punched the Mario Polygon in the head, his fist aching from contact with the rock-hard substance. It knocked the Polygon down, but at a painful cost. And the Polygon stood right back up and came for more._

 _And so it was throughout the masses—Polygons clashing against them with amethyst swords, fists, headbutts, and tails. They were not particularly intelligent fighters, but they were many and they were wrought of considerably durable mineral._

 _It took all of the worlds to hold them off._

 _Whatever smaller conflicts that had been taking place became collaborations as they turned to face their new common enemy: Sheik and Link alongside Ryu and Sly Cooper; Lilith and Ashley Williams beside Ganondorf and Gotoh; Sonic and friends combined with Gary and the Elite Four; the Ice Climbers beside Rayman; Banjo & Kazooie beside Spyro; Pacman beside Jack Wynand._

 _It was soon discovered that with enough effort, the Fighting Polygons could be destroyed, shattering into thousands of sparkling gems. Emboldened by their success, the four worlds converged on the ever-shrinking body of Polygons, their quarrels with one another temporarily forgotten in the face of their more immediate, unknowable threat. But it was more than that; there was something deep, something ancient that triggered some fundamentally embedded instinct which prevented even the most belligerent, distrusting, and villainous of Microsians from attacking their Nintendonian adversaries in the midst of the chaos. It was something they would not quite have been able to explain themselves. But so it was, nonetheless._

 _Finally, the Polygons were all but defeated, with just twelve remaining—one of each variety. It was much to Mario's surprise—and to everyone else's—when the Polygons suddenly stopped fighting back. They allowed themselves to be hacked and blown and crushed and seared into tiny pieces, as if they were decommissioned robots being called off the hunt._

 _The innumerable Polygon shards then rose into the air of their own volition, forming a rather pretty panorama of star-like jewels. But when the space between the shards darkened to a dangerous purple—when the shards actually took on the appearance of a night sky within the vast folds of this titanic veil—this all-encompassing cloak—suddenly those pretty shards seemed like demons' eyes leering at them from another dimension._

 _As it so happened, this nightmarish panorama ran down the same dividing line along which the Polygons had appeared, cutting Nintendo off from most everyone else. And then, with the finality of a black hole, the starry space began sweeping away from the jungle, toward the ocean._

 _Microsians, Sonians, and Islanders fled for their lives, a few stragglers screaming as they were sucked into the darkness. Gunships and jets and spaceships and battleships and barges and Bathyspheres hastened away from the Nintendo World, away from this godlike, fear-inspiring entity that seemed to promise to erase from existence any organism so foolish as to remain._

 _Sonic, Shadow, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy fled the starry darkness, terrified but at the same time confident in their speed's ability to carry them to safety._

 _"Come on, guys!" Sonic shouted behind him as he and Shadow led them toward one of the departing barges, with COG soldiers, Metalheads, and Pandorans crowding frantically inside. They were almost there…_

 _But the Hand of Fate had other plans for Sonic. Just as he was about to make the leap onto the barge, a particularly ugly Metalhead lizard pushed in front of him. It turned and growled at him, then swept its powerful reptilian arm across the blue hedgehog, sending him soaring over his friends and toward the consuming void. He yelled and closed his eyes as the end drew near…_

 _He felt a heavy lurch as something pushed him up, up and over the shroud, then just as quickly deposited him on the other side, in the midst of a crowd of Nintendonian strangers._

 _"Well done, Dragonite," Lance said, petting the Pokémon's head as Sonic lost consciousness, unable to see what became of Shadow, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy._

 _Elsewhere, Banjo & Kazooie, Mumbo Jumbo, Humba Wumba, and Pacman watched helplessly as their friends fled before the translucent darkness, themselves trapped on this side of the astral cloak with no way to get around._

 _"Well, there goes our ride," Kazooie said._

" _Full retreat to Atari!" Master Chief yelled into his com link that was connected to all the Sonian and Microsian leaders. "We cannot match this kind of power without the Great Moon Deity's blessing; perhaps it is his will that we call for a truce…."_

 _Thus Nintendo watched their enemies flee, becoming distant silhouettes as they fled to Atari Island. The dark shroud chased after them until it seemed satisfied, then just like that, it dissipated, leaving the fading echo of Nightmare's laugh. The baffled Nintendonians didn't know whether to feel grateful or fearful toward the mysterious force and its timely intervention; after all, they would likely have been decimated by Microsoft and Sony otherwise._

 _But this much seemed clear: The darkness may not have been their enemy that day, but it was a friend to no one._

* * *

Once Wizpig was dead—not just dead, but very visibly beheaded by Master Chief—the pigface spaceships fell lifelessly into the ocean, and the war soon came to a close.

Seeing their Great Moon Deity for the monster he truly was, and seeing their own commander-in-chief choose to slay him, most of the Microsians surrendered willingly, relying upon mercies many of them would have been unlikely to show had their situation been reversed.

Some of them, such as Ryu Hayabusa and Commander John Shepard, had already been swayed to Nintendo's side, so it was a simple matter for them to convey their change of plans to the rest of the Hayabusa and Systems Alliance. Others had merely been following their trusted leader—the Master Chief—including Jack Wynand and the Rapturians, the Vault Hunters and the Pandorans, Wolf's Dragoons and the Heliosians, and the rest of Reach's Spartan forces. Accordingly, they laid down their arms at the Chief's command without resistance.

Others proved a bit more difficult. The Serans had, after all, been ordered to fight to the last man, and they had continued to fight even after everyone else had stopped—that is, until Marcus Fenix bid them to cease fire, his expression unreadable, the reason for his change of heart unknown for the time being.

The Tediz had to actually be subdued with physical force; most of them were disarmed and imprisoned without further casualties. Reeka's R.A.W.s, whose remnants still wandered along the Kongo Jungle's continental shelf and beneath Wizpig's Palace, no longer posed a serious threat without their creator to give them orders and would be dealt with in time.

There was much to do: destruction to clean up; ships and homes to rebuild; war criminals to convict; peace accords to be signed; and mysteries to solve.

But the first thing the surviving Nintendonians, Atarians, Sonians, and Microsians did was return to Reach—to New Alexandria, which would serve as quarters for all the armies and heroes until further plans could be made. The city government was notified by Master Chief himself that Nintendo was to take charge for the time being. He had turned himself in to their custody, for despite his heroic act that ended the war, he still had many, many charges to answer for.

Among the first orders of business was freeing the Microsian prisoners of war, all of which were being held in the same prison from which Snake and the other voyagers had recently escaped—although now, that moment seemed to have occurred ages ago. Time, after all, was a concept that no one on Smash Planet seemed to have a very clear perspective of.

Some of the most notable prisoners included many of Joanna Dark's colleagues of the Carrington Institute who had, in fact, been spared during the institute's burning. The other major cell occupants came as a great surprise to all.

They were squirrels after Conker's kind, who had once borne arms with him as a comrade against the threat of the Tediz. Chief among them was Berri, Conker's former girlfriend, a red squirrel with weathered but attractive features.

"He wasn't always crazy, you know," she would later say to a board consisting of Gadd and other leaders. "My Conker was once the most kind-hearted, good-natured squirrel of all of us. But when all that business with RareWare began, Wizpig came one night and exercised his awful influence over him, bringing out his darkest and most horrible self. I knew my Conker was gone when he ordered all of us to separate ourselves from RareWare and join in on Microsoft's war against Nintendo. We refused, so they imprisoned us here and recruited the Tediz instead." She sobbed as she thought of all her people had lost, but expressed gratitude that it was all finally over. The last spark of the Copyright Wars had been extinguished.

* * *

For most, the end of the war was a bittersweet experience—a massive burden lifted at last from their worlds, but one that left scars and intense grief that would take a very long time to heal. But there were a few who didn't seem quite so affected by the course of events.

The first night after the Battle for Microsoft, Wario and Waluigi took to New Alexandria's lavish casinos with huge bags of Coins slung over their shoulders. They reveled in the bright lights and futuristic ring-topped towers, their eyes practically bulging with dollar signs as they imagined what kind of money a WarioWare branch could make here. All these humans seemed pretty tech-savvy, but the Wario Brothers knew a few tricks that could lighten even the most vigilant customers' wallets.

The biggest casino they could find was called "Halo," with a huge Mobian strip ring flashing neon green lights at the top, the establishment seeming to call to them. Wario waddled eagerly inside with his brother close behind and made for the nearest slot machine. He tried stuffing a Coin into the slot, but the hole was too small.

A casino waiter noticed the fat man's vain attempt and walked over. explaining the machines here took only Microsian Credits, but they might have more luck with Guilty Spark Roulette (a roulette game operated by an AI shaped like a giant metal eyeball with a bright blue pupil and a quirky personality). Accordingly, Wario and Waluigi made their way over to the crowd of players.

Two hours later, the two of them trudged out of the casino's doors with shoulders slumped, their Coin bags completely empty.

"I wonder if we can cash in the Ark," Wario said.

* * *

There were many long-sought reunions that day—too many to mention—but one of the most significant was that of the Kanto heroes aboard the Ark as they journeyed to New Alexandria.

"Luigi, I'm so glad you're safe!"

April ran up and wrapped her arms around his neck, the plumber's cheeks glowing red with mixed pleasure and embarrassment.

"I'm a-glad you're okay, too."

"Luigi," a deep voice said from behind him. A distinctly Liam Neeson-esque voice. "I've heard many things about you."

He disentangled himself from the daughter of the man behind him and turned sheepishly to face Quentin, whose appearance lacked all of Red's innocent youthfulness.

"Uh…hello."

Quentin's stern look then broke into a smile as he clasped Luigi's hand. "We've just met, Luigi, and yet I can already see in your eyes you are a man without guile."

Red and Gary stood nearby, enjoying this awkward reunion/introduction. Gary nudged his cousin with a smirk.

"So, when're you gettin' a girlfriend, Cuz? There's a lot of fish in the sea…especially now that our world's gotten like four times bigger."

Red smiled but said nothing. He'd love to retaliate against Gary's smack talk, but he knew that would be a touchy subject for the former Champion. Sabrina, the onetime Gym Leader of Saffron City, had been murdered by Master Hand by means of Metal Mewtwo. Gary had never been quite the same since.

 _"Red…"_ He turned and, to his surprise, found himself face to face with the real Mewtwo. This stateroom suddenly felt much too small for the six of them.

"Yeah?"

 _"May I have a word…alone?"_

He raised an eyebrow. "Sure."

They left the room and wandered a ways down the hallway until Mewtwo seemed sure no one else could hear them.

 _"The man called Quentin…he is your father?_

Red nodded, not sure where this was going.

Mewtwo's magenta eyes seemed to burn with an indecipherable emotion. _"You must know, then…we have met before, your father and I."_

"Wow!" Suddenly it all clicked: Quentin's story of his experience trying to capture a Mewtwo in the Champion's Cave. It just never occurred to him that his father had met that Mewtwo— _the_ Mewtwo. "Yeah, my dad told me all about what happened when he almost used the Master Ball to catch you."

 _"Yes…your father is a very singular human. Different from any I have ever met. Only now do I see how much of himself he has passed on to you. He has accomplished great things, things I never thought any human could ever achieve…his Spirit Bond with the Pokémon, for example…but…"_

"But what?" Red already found himself on the defensive. The traitor had already been identified as Conker, so he saw no reason for anyone to suspect Quentin of anything bad, especially considering all he had done to help the Smash Brothers win this war.

For once, Mewtwo didn't seem quite sure how to respond. _"But…I do not know. His intentions are pure, his bond with the Pokémon world stronger than any human's I have ever known. I suppose I just want you to know…how special you are. To be his son. And know the power of the Omni Ball; it has proven capable of much good, but in the wrong hands…"_

Images of Giovanni, trying to shoot him in the basement of the Saffron department store, flashed through Red's mind. He nodded. "I understand. Thanks."

* * *

In the dining hall, Kirby was reveling in his newfound popularity among a crowd of adulating Cappies, along with several unlikely new friends and some dear old ones. The exquisite arrangement of food on the banquet tables occasionally drew his attention slightly more than the people around him, but for the most part he managed to accept praise graciously between a couple seconds of food-sucking here and there, his face bright and childlike.

"You're quite the fighter, Kirby of Dreamland," Jack Wynand said. It seemed extremely strange that just a few hours before, they had been engaged in a fight to the death. "We could use someone of your talent in managing the Splicers of Rapture. Sometimes they get out of hand."

"Kirby, what do you think of my new Spicy Curry?" Chef Kawasaki said, a pan of sizzling red substance extended toward him. Kawasaki had been one of the participants in the Fourside Colosseum tournament, but he had suffered a rather humiliating defeat at the hand of Diddy Kong. Apparently, amidst the cornucopia of Dreamlandian creatures who had come on the Ark, Kirby had never noticed the presence of his culinary friend.

"Puff!" Jigglypuff, who had enjoyed the occasional romantic attention of the Hero of Dreamland, pushed past the crowded Cappies who were jumping and shouting Kirby's name. By "Puff," she meant something along the lines of "When are we going to go to that concert you promised me?" She looked very annoyed at both Kirby and those competing for his attention.

But Sackboy, as Falco had once indirectly predicted, won Kirby's attention the best. They had already hit it off after two minutes of silent gestures and one-word exclamations, and now Kirby was clapping his hand stubs in delight as Sackboy created a generous slice of cake made of yarn.

"Hmph." King Dedede sat a bit removed from the rest, nibbling grumpily on a tart. "Why does that varmint get all the attention? He didn't even save the day this time. I'll bet I did in more baddies with my Gordos than—OW!"

Kirby had paused for another few seconds of food-sucking, but in doing so he inadvertently caused a Waddle Dee's fork to fly from his hand and lodge itself firmly in Dedede's blubbery arm.

Sympathy for Dedede came in the form of raucous laughter.

* * *

As the Ark approached New Alexandria and night fell, the Seven Star Spirits shone brightly above the roof before Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toadsworth.

"It appears all is well, heroes," Eldstar said. "We bid you farewell until the next crisis should come."

"Which hopefully it won't, of course," Muskular added. "But let's be real—Smash Planet will always have _something_ going on."

As the seven celestial bodies rose into the dark sky to return to Star Haven, Perry stirred from within Peach's hands, yawning.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked drowsily.

"I'll say, old chap." Toadsworth chortled. "You've been snoozing ever since we boarded the Ark. Surely you'll be wanting to catch up with Masters Mario and Luigi, yes?"

"Oh." Perry looked over at the Mario Brothers. "Hi. How's it goin'?"

"Hi, Perry," they both responded—followed by an awkward silence, for there seemed to be nothing else for them to say to each other.

"Perry?" said a familiar voice from behind them. "Gadzooks! Is it really you?"

They turned to behold Professor E. Gadd, who had stopped in his tracks at the sight of the sentient yellow parasol. He was leaning back in disbelief like Gippetto when Pinocchio first came to life.

"Who are you?" Perry asked. But even as he said it, flashes of memory began to scroll across his mind: his kindly grandfather; the intervention of the magician; being sold to the merchant, and then dropped and found by Toadsworth and eventually given to Princess Peach.

Gadd chuckled. "Why, don't you remember me? I made you, Perry!"

"Made me?" Perry was at a loss for words. Something wasn't adding up, though. "But…I have a grandpa; a family. I can't just be a robot…can I?"

"You've been having dreams, haven't you?" Gadd walked closer to Perry and put a comforting hand on his handle. "Our minds have a way of showing us the past in a way that isn't always consistent with reality. But yes…you did have a grandpa—a real one."

"Then how can you say you invented him, professor?" Peach said.

Gadd pushed up his swirling glasses. "Let me explain. Perry, you were once a Toad child; your parents left you in the care of your grandfather from time to time because they were explorers who traveled to distant lands with the famous Professor Kolorado. Well, on one of the trips, they never returned; Kolorado told me when he got back that there had been a terrible incident in the Dry Dry Desert involving Bandits and Chain Chomps, which had resulted in the tragic death of two of his best partners—your father and mother.

"Well, needless to say, your grandpa, Muss T., ended up raising you full-time as if your were his own. He was a good friend of mine, and I could tell how much he cared for you. But then…one of the darkest periods of the Mushroom Kingdom began as Bowser set out on one of his plots to conquer the land. You and your grandpa lived in the rural outskirts of the castle town, so you had no chance to escape before Bowser's armies attacked. Muss T. was killed by Bowser, whose right-hand servant Kamek cast a spell that nearly killed you as well, and they left you for dead.

"When I found you, I knew there was only one way you could survive. I took you to my lab and, using a combination of Duplighost extract from the Twilight Woods, arcane herbs from Subcon, and some of my Gaddgets, I created the new you, which would take the form that best represents your identity."

"A parasol?" Perry said doubtfully.

Gadd nodded. "Think about what umbrellas do, though, Perry. They protect; they shield; and if I'm not mistaken, they come in quite handy when a princess has to rescue her heroes for a change."

Mario and Luigi sighed. They didn't exactly have fond memories of those days. Peach, on the other hand, beamed and lifted Perry to face him eye to eye.

"Oh, Perry…you're the best companion I could ever ask for. And I'm so happy we've finally figured out who you are."

Perry struggled to make sense of all the emotions swirling through him. But as his mind untangled everything and allowed the pieces of his life to fall into their proper place, he smiled and decided there was one emotion that dominated the rest:

Happiness.

* * *

On the other side of the Ark's roof, Meta Knight and Shadow the Hedgehog watched the approaching lights of New Alexandria, both of them pensive.

"We've won the war," Shadow said finally, "so why doesn't it feel like a victory?"

Meta Knight's yellow eyes burned through the night. "When we fought Nightmare's armies, we defeated a mindless enemy—Wire Frames without life, without a place in This World. But this time is different…partly, I suspect, because our enemy had a face—whereas the Wire Frames literally did not. Even though thousands of Nintendonians perished in the War of the Hands, in a sense this war inflicted far greater damage on all involved. Real lives were ruined…on both sides."

Shadow thought about the Star Warrior's words and frowned. "Even so…I feel as if this ordeal has yet to end. The leaders of all our worlds will have many far-reaching decisions to make, one of the most important being—"

"What to do with the Master Chief," Meta Knight finished.

Shadow nodded. "There's the argument—and a solid one—that he turned on Wizpig and as such is now our ally. But there are still Microsians out there who would have Nintendo's blood on their fingertips…and keeping Master Chief in the game would certainly not quell their bloodlust."

"Ah." Meta Knight held up Galaxia, allowing it to shine against the dark sky as he examined it, turning its hilt from side to side. "But which is the best way to stop a horde of demons: to show the serpent mercy, or to cut off its head?"

"Truthfully," Shadow said, "I think Solid Snake and many others will want to see this snakehead crushed."


	27. Chapter 19: Snakehead (2)

A provisionary government was established in New Alexandria's courthouse, consisting of most of the major leaders of all the worlds, minus the more belligerent Microsian ones such as Master Chief and Marcus Fenix. Almost immediately, a new graveyard was constructed a short distance outside the metropolis for the purpose of burying the dead whose bodies could be recovered—and memorializing the ones who could not.

The graveyard was segmented into separate sections for each world, though in an effort to begin engendering greater unity, the sections themselves were not distanced from the Microsians' area more than any other. The ground was hard and brittle, but the Serans possessed sophisticated drilling equipment and the New Alexandrians contributed durable obsidian stone for the actual headstones, which were engraved with pearly white lettering.

A speech was to be made by the Smash Brothers for the benefit of all who had lost loved ones on either side of the war, but until that time, people wandered among the graves alone or in small groups.

* * *

Around four graves, the surviving racers of Timber's Island and the Kongs gathered solemnly. There was a bust of Taj's elephantine head, Bumper the panda, and even a simple block commemorating Conker the Squirrel.

And then there was Diddy's. His was a full-body sculpture; the chimp's playful expression and bouncy posture, accurate as they might have been, seemed to be infinitely removed from the actual Kong.

DK stepped forward and laid Diddy's red hat at the foot of the grave. Ever since the war had ended, he had been totally deflated, muted not just by Diddy's death, but by the catastrophic results of the passion-driven rush he'd led on Wizpig—against Gadd's instructions.

"You were the best and the bravest of us," he said. "My brother…my closest friend. I guess This World had it in for you from the beginning, 'cause you were the bond that linked our worlds together: Nintendo…DK Isle…Timber's Island…I hope you and Rool are having a heck of a time in the afterlife, because nothing—no one—can ever replace you." Then, unexpectedly, he turned to Bumper's headstone. "And Bumper…you're gone only because of my pride. I acted out of anger at both Wizpig and Professor Gadd…and you're the one who suffered for it. I'll never forgive myself for that."

"You ought to, lad." Professor E. Gadd himself had joined their party, with L.O.G. blinking beside him. He walked straight up to DK and tried to look him in the eye, but the Kong averted his gaze out of shame. "Look at me, DK. _Look at me._ "

Slowly, DK raised his gaze. By now, the other racers, Tiny, Lanky, Chunky, and Dixie were paying their own tributes to the fallen heroes.

"DK, listen to me. It is true that mistakes have been made during the course of this terrible war. But you are not to blame for Diddy, or Bumper, or anyone else Wizpig took from us. Those who followed you, followed you willingly—not just because you're a great leader and they trust you, but because they shared in your frustrations. And besides…" Now it was Gadd who looked away. "You're not the only one with grave imperfections among us."

"What do you mean?" DK said after a moment's pause. "You've never led the Smash Brothers wrong like I have. You've never rashly put lives in danger's way."

"Well…you see, Falco and the others who stopped Reeka in Wizpig's Palace told me some of the things my cousin accused me of…and unfortunately, some of them are true." Gadd grasped his hands uncomfortably. "I…haven't always put my scientific interests to the best of uses. I have as much dirt on my hands as anyone…maybe even as much as the Master Chief."

DK was taken aback by Gadd's sudden confession. But somehow, it didn't make him hate the professor; rather, it made him trust the old man even more than he had before the Battle of Dreamland. He grinned and made to pat the scientist on the shoulder, then lowered his arm, realizing any attempt to do so with his huge palm would probably send Gadd to the hospital.

"Professor." L.O.G. floated over to the two of them; the rest of the group had dispersed to view other graves—except for Dixie, who knelt before the statue, needing some time alone with her buried dreams.

Gadd shook himself out of his self-condemning depression. "Yes?"

"My monitor was nicked by a bullet during the battle, and as consequence I have discovered what appears to be a camera chip implanted in my hard drive, but I do not recognize the design. Do you have any possible conjectures as to its origin?"

L.O.G. used one of his electric cord tendrils to hand the small device to Gadd. The professor examined it closely; then his expression hardened.

"Oh, you can bet I've got more than a conjecture; this is without a doubt Reeka's tech. See the contours of those wires, and that tiny diamond-shaped lens? It's practically got his dastardly name written all over it. Only…" He paused in his excitement. "How did he manage to get that inside you?"

"It must have been one of your R.O.B.s who fixed my hard drive," L.O.G. concluded. "Or a R.A.W. disguised as one, that is. This explains how Microsoft had eyes on both Nintendo and Sony simultaneously."

"Yes," Gadd mused, stroking his chin. "Samus and I were planning to discuss Conker's betrayal in detail later today, but now it all adds up. Do you think it's possible that chip also forced your system to release the Seran prisoners back on the Isle o' Hags?"

"I am ashamed to admit the possibility," L.O.G. said, looking as ashamed as a computer screen could express, "but I believe so."

"Well, that's one less mystery for us to solve. Now we can turn to the other several hundred…"

* * *

Princess Ruto's body had not been carried all the way to Microsoft to be buried; her Zora tribe had taken care of her proper dismissal into the depths of the ocean off the eastern coast of Hyrule. But here, a stone block had been erected in her memory nonetheless, and Link and Princess Zelda found themselves rooted in front of it like the Great Deku Tree.

Zelda put her arm around Link's waist. "All she ever wanted was to win your attention. It seems so unjust that she was taken before her time."

Link shook his head, trying not to become emotional. _The Hero of Time doesn't get emotional._ "Ever since I first met her in Jabu Jabu's Belly, I felt like I had a strange connection to her. I've had other friends who've helped me along the way like she did: Saria…Malon…you…" Something strange and grim occurred to him. "But everywhere I go: Navi; Epona; Ruto…" He looked into Zelda's eyes. "Am I destined to bring death in some way to every girl who becomes important to me?"

To his surprise, Zelda smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of his face. "I doubt it. But even if you were, Link…it would be because you're a hero worth dying for."

* * *

There were too many dead to name, and to number them would be to number Smash Planet's sins. Even with the prospect of this burden, the dead were numbered, and the count was estimated at over 5,000—and that was only the latter end of the Copyright Wars that had begun with the attack on Dedede's Castle. Many of them were counted without a name.

Others among the dead were more prominent. Atari, for example, had lost two of the four Pacman ghosts: Blinky (the red one, often considered their leader) and Clyde (the orange one).

Sony had lost Proto Man—the first Robot Master, who had fought by Bass's side against Legion—as well as the Craftworldian puppet Toggle and Tikal the Echidna. The latter loss would leave Mobius's Chaos Emeralds in the sole care of Knuckles.

Among Microsoft's most notable losses were Brick—the burly Pandoran Vault Hunter—and Lieutenant Foster of the Heliosian Wolf's Dragoons. And then there was Dominic Santiago.

Marcus Fenix, who was technically under arrest but had been allowed to come with an escort of Megalandian guards, knelt alone before his closest companion's grave, at a total loss for words. He had been prepared to fight the Nintendonians to the death, even with Dominic's strange, seemingly misplaced sympathy for them toward the end. But then the Great Moon Deity had destroyed the frigate, and everything had changed. Marcus would never be freed from the image of the frigate piece crushing his friend like a meteor, just as he would never forget the shock of watching his leader slay the Great Moon Deity. Everything he had previously believed in, the principles he'd held to, suddenly seemed worthless. Why had he been the one to survive? Dominic had always been the more level-headed, the wiser of the two of them. How could Marcus live with himself after that?

He gently touched the smooth obsidian surface of the headstone.

"I will do better, brother," he whispered.

* * *

The only other full-body statue that had been erected (the Microsian technologies could work incredibly fast to produce such structures in a matter of days) was that of a tall, muscular man in a form-fitting racing suit with a classy ascot and a decaled helmet. And it was around Captain Falcon's saluting image that the people gathered to hear the Smash Brothers' speech. Nearest the memorial were gathered most of the surviving Original 25 (excepting Ganondorf, who was sealed in the Sacred Realm, and Dr. Mario, who resided in the now-unreachable Dimension Conflux).

Meta Knight, the Smash Brothers' second-in-command who had always had a greater aptitude for giving speeches than Gadd, flew onto the top of the statue's base to address the masses, his deep voice strong enough to reach the thousands present.

"The day of strife has ended," he said. "Today is the dawn of a new world—not one ruled by fear of the false god Wizpig, but a world guided by mutual respect, by appreciation of our incredible diversities, by freely given rights of passage between lands. All of us…" His eyes swept over the vast audience. "All of us, be we of Nintendo, of Sony, of Atari, of Microsoft, or of an independent island, have lost valiant friends in this war. Yet we have learned that it was not the exclusive fault of any one world, but the corrupt manipulation of Wizpig and a few select others that turned us against each other. Henceforth, I propose that we view one another no longer as foreigners, but as fellowcitizens. To honor the sacrifices of those who have passed on…we must move on from the past."

There was no applause, but not because Meta Knight's words did not ring true; it was because this was a solemn occasion that did not seem to call for such festive gestures. Bowser then took the forefront. Nearby, Samus, Snake, and Jody Summer stood with unreadable expressions.

"Captain Falcon," he said, "was the best of us. A hero to the very end. I've seen him in action many times: a frontrunner in the Smash tournaments; a diplomat between me, Ganondorf, and Donkey Kong when we first traveled together to find Master Hand; a leader who kept us together during alien invasions in Corneria City and Onett; a pilot who could see further ahead than most of us ever will. The likes of him, and Diddy Kong, and others, should be a symbol to us of our better natures—what we have the potential to become." Bowser laughed softly. "Don't get me wrong; I love being selfish and making mischief as much as the next villain. But what we've been through this year…" He gestured up toward Captain Falcon's enlarged likeness. "That's on a whole other level. And it can never happen again. The next time I so much as smell someone thinking the word 'conquest,' I'll eat your face off….You can bet your shell on it."

Much more pleasant words followed Bowser's speech, honoring the dead and urging a new commitment to a better future. Snake spoke on behalf of Sony, officially absolving Microsoft's citizenry of its leaders' misguided crimes. Rocketman shared a few textbox-projected words along the same lines. Then, even though Master Chief and Marcus Fenix were present under guard, L.O.G. had been chosen to speak on behalf of RareWare, the Islands, and Microsoft.

The ambassador floated up to where Meta Knight stood upon the statue's base. "It is incalculable, the debt we owe you all for freeing Microsoft of Wizpig's subtle tyranny. I cannot compute any way of repairing the bridges we have burned except through our future actions. I believe even the worst of firewall breaches can be recovered with proper reprogramming, and I trust the new and reformed leaders of This World will see to it that such promising protocols are installed. Today, Nintendo, I can now truly say, 'We come in peace.'"

L.O.G.'s somewhat awkward speech ended there, his computer metaphors going completely over the heads of many, but the intent of his message generally understood.

* * *

Sometime after the funeral gathering, Professor E. Gadd met with the voyagers and discussed topics ranging from the reasoning for Conker's betrayal to everything they had seen and learned in Wizpig's Palace—concerning both Wizpig himself and Reeka's Deconstructor machine. He was fascinated as Falco, Ness, Roy, and Yoshi related the strange tale of Reeka's defeat, and as Meta Knight, Prince Peasley, Shadow, and Joanna Dark told of the mysterious figure that had been instrumental in the Deconstructor's final destruction.

"So Metal Mario and Metal Mr. Game & Watch have been keeping tabs on us, it seems." He stroked his chin. "What could this mean? Just a few months ago, one of those rogue clones murdered Pikachu in cold blood…and yet for whatever reason, they chose to help us in this scenario."

"I do not believe they retain any loyalties to the late Nightmare," Meta Knight said. "It seems as if they have somehow gained a sentience of their own…though with what motives, it is impossible to tell…."

"Agreed," Gadd said. "Which begs another question: I don't know if you fellas remember this, but Nightmare once told us that he was responsible for ending the Copyright Wars in our favor. And with the information I've gathered from Perry and from Microsians who've described the purple monsters who drove them away from Nintendo way back when, I've come to the conclusion that the form Nightmare's forces took was the Fighting Polygons."

Princess Peach gasped. Suddenly it became clear to her where she had seen the creatures in Perry's vision on the _Normandy_. It had been in Master Hand's Fortress, which featured a stained glass window with artistic renditions of these same Polygons.

"And?" Falco said.

"And," Gadd said, "this matches the description Commander John Shepard and the Vault Hunters gave us of the purple monsters who attacked their regions just last year."

Ness paled. "So…Nightmare's back? Again?"

Gadd sighed. "I don't know. I thought Tabuu's demise in Subspace was pretty definitive. It doesn't seem possible, but the facts speak for themselves. Maybe some of his surviving forces continue to fight even in his absence because that's all they know how to do. As much as I hate to sound like a broken record, we'll just have to keep our eyes and ears open. I'm sure the truth will reveal itself in time."

* * *

But to Pit, for one, this resolution did not sit well. Later that day he flew up and sat inside one of New Alexandria's ring structures, thinking of his experiences in the War of the Hands, his adventures with Quill, his fateful confrontation with Ulysses Reeka. It was an almost overwhelming load to consider.

Yet for some reason, what ended up coming to the front of his mind was not satisfaction at the knowledge of Quill being avenged with Reeka's death, but something Taj's recording had said in his Memory Lamp back on Timber's Island.

 _The gods we worship or choose to shun will in great part determine the fate of our worlds….We must take a close look at those we venerate, because not all with divine powers have divine intentions, yes? Find the deities you can trust…and when you discover the evil ones, join against them._

Clearly, Wizpig had been a much more dangerous false god than anyone could have ever predicted. Microsoft had followed Wizpig because he'd offered to destroy their enemies. How was Pit or anyone else supposed to know which deities to trust? What was different about Palutena, or the Mushroom Kingdom's Star Spirits, that made their divine intentions sure? Didn't Wizpig deliver on his promises to Microsoft just as well?

Pit sighed and let himself fall off the ring, pulling up after fifty feet or so to continue his casual flight through the cool sky. He supposed these weren't questions he would simply find answers to in one day by sitting on a skyscraper.

* * *

Master Chief's trial was not to take place in New Alexandria, as had Snake's just a few weeks before, but in the Grand Courtroom of the great Citadel Tower that gave Eden Prime's capital city its name.

Eden Prime was a largely agrarian world outside of the Citadel, with rolling, deep green fields and winding crystalline rivers and the hushed sound of whispering aspens giving the land a serene, dreamlike quality.

The Citadel, on the other hand, was a very, very, very different place.

In fact, the city was not even attached to the ground. It was a massive space station—one that resided only 500 feet or so off the planet's surface regardless of gravity.

Stretching about 30 miles in diameter, the sky surrounding the Citadel seemed to have no atmosphere whatsoever, the circular region opening out somewhat unnaturally into starry black space. Then again, the fact that a space station the size of a city was able to hover so close to the planet's surface was quite unnatural in and of itself.

The Citadel was composed of five long segments (known as Wards) whose longer sides curved in on each other, forming a rough cylindrical shape. Each Ward had its own gravitational field that made possible the cityscape filling the inside surface. If one were to stand inside one of the Wards, it would feel like being inside a regular grounded city district with greenery, urban neighborhoods and downtown centers, and even an artificial blue sky. The only difference would be the gradual concave slope that curved the land up to meet the artificial sky on either side, and the sudden end of the world at the shorter ends. Also, if you looked hard enough, you could make out the intricate steel skeleton of the Ward through the projected sky.

Then there was the Presidium Ring, which was the point where all five Wards connected at one end, opening outward from there except in times of emergency in which case the Wards would close in and form an actual, almost impenetrable cylinder. The Presidium was also where the upper echelons of society lived, as well as the center for government buildings and other administrative facilities. Hence, in the midst of one of the Presidium's immaculate gardens, the Citadel Tower rose up with a mind-bending view of the five Wards through the thick shield separating the Presidium from the rest of the station.

The Grand Courtroom was located near the top of the tower, with wide windows providing a dazzling view of city and space, making it feel much less congested than the ones in Megaland or New Alexandria. Almost every surface was a cool blue metal. A dodecagonal amphitheater ran around the room with a select group of occupants, consisting of representatives from each sector of Smash Planet, all of them watching the Master Chief, who stood at the center below, unbound but completely disarmed, his armor allowed only as a matter of courtesy.

The Nintendonians who comprised this council included the available members of the Original 25; Dixie Kong; Tetra; Red; Quentin; Professor E. Gadd; Toadsworth; Prince Peasley; Meta Knight; Princess Nyna; Dr. Clash; Jody Summer; the Chestnut King; Bomberman; and Pit.

Representing the Islands (including Atari) were Drumstick; Banjo & Kazooie; Master Jiggywiggy; Humba Wumba; Pacman; and Rocketman.

From Sony there was Solid Snake; Sonic; Shadow; Megaman; Ratchet and Clank; Sly Cooper; Jak and Daxter; Spyro; Crash Bandicoot; Rayman; Sackboy; and Cipher (a tall, lean man in a Strangerealean pilot's uniform and a helmet with a black visor that concealed his eyes, similar to Captain Falcon's).

Finally, the Microsian leaders present included Ryu; Jack Wynand; Roland; Lilith; Mordecai; Commander John Shepard; Ashley Williams; MechWarrior (a rather ordinary-looking young man with blond hair and a well-toned body beneath a high-tech jumpsuit); Major Natalia Kerensky (a severe-looking young woman in a red and white jumpsuit); Joanna Dark; Kameo; L.O.G.; and Berri (Marcus Fenix awaited a separate trial of his own).

Obviously, with a council that was 70 members strong, multiple tiers were necessary to seat everyone. But surprisingly, there was no excessive noise among the myriad heroes and onetime villains. This was an occasion as serious as the funeral, only this time it came with a tremendous responsibility—a pivotal decision to be made that would without question have a powerful impact on all of their futures.

The only noise or movement came in the form of quaint gecko-like creatures called Keepers. These mysterious beings had been the caretakers of the Citadel for as long as anyone could remember, so no one paid them any heed as they went about their business, which sometimes meant attending to the cleaning of a window and at other times meant crawling through the room to some unknown destination.

At the head of the podium facing Master Chief, L.O.G. hovered a few inches above the ground, his Pong bars blinking emotionlessly, his mouse companion peeking over the shoulder of his fluff-collared robe. Until now, he had served as Microsoft's official ambassador to Nintendo, despite having no concrete home anywhere except wherever RareWare was organized. But now, since the war's end, he had been elected by this same council as acting leader of both RareWare and Microsoft. It was felt that this would help further cement the bonds between the Islands and their previous conquerors.

"We are here," L.O.G. said, "to determine the best consequences for the Master Chief's actions. Now that Wizpig's tyranny has been permanently deleted, we as leaders of Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Atari, and RareWare are fortunate to be able to convene together and choose the best future for our planet. Whether we be Smash Brothers, All-Stars, Sentinels, or otherwise, let us engage in civil discourse as to how to deal with the viruses that have so long infected our peace.

"Master Chief, you are accused and found guilty of unprovoked imperialism and invasion; murder; lying to your own world about the true purpose of your war; and destroying the bonds of peace which had once united our lands. But in the interest of due process and because you did play an instrumental part in the war's conclusion, you will be permitted to speak on your own behalf. What data do you have to input on your behalf?"

Snake raised an eyebrow, taking a moment before he finally worked out what the floating computer's techno-language meant. Standing with arms folded beside Samus (who had at last been reunited with her Power Suit), he never took his gaze off of the Master Chief, who stood erect and didn't give anything away by his demeanor. _Finally_ , he thought, _justice will be served. For Meryl. For Captain Falcon. For all the others._

Master Chief then spoke. It was that same subdued voice Snake had heard on the disintegrating frigate. A voice he still wasn't used to. A voice that couldn't possibly have spoken the words he heard next.

"I am guilty of all of these crimes," he said. "I have no defense."

Surely Snake's ears were deceiving him. He knew Master Chief had ultimately chosen to rebel against Wizpig, but he'd assumed that had been because the Spartan had seen the deity as a threat to his power. That was a far cry from actually accepting responsibility for everything he'd done. Did he not know what fate might await him?

There was a long silence; no one seemed to have expected Master Chief's answer. Finally, Samus spoke up beside him, her voice drained of emotion ever since they had jumped out of that hangar.

"Why did you change your mind?" There was no anger, just curiosity. "Why did you kill Wizpig? He would likely have killed all who opposed you. You would have created the Microsian empire you always wanted."

"I…" Master Chief appeared at a brief loss for words. Snake had a strange feeling, though, that he could explain at least part of the soldier's change of heart himself: Samus probing him about Cortana seemed to have hit a weak spot. And then the sight of Pipsy in the Moon Deity's clutches…

"I finally saw, far too late, what I was really serving. Wizpig protected Microsoft from all of our enemies; it never occurred to us that we'd been serving the greatest enemy of all." He then turned to Snake and Samus. "I know apologizing for what I've taken from both of you…from all of you…is useless. But know that I took no pleasure in it. I will carry the burden of the lives I've destroyed forever. Even worse, I betrayed the trust of my people; no amount of trickery on Wizpig's part justifies the lust for power that clouded my judgment, that clouded my memory of all but the worst of your worlds. A wasted war…of wasted lives…that is the legacy I have made. My people need to know the evilness of my deeds; they cannot believe that I am any longer fit to be numbered among them. And I cannot face them again. Death…would be a mercy." He looked back up at L.O.G. after pivoting to address all of them. "And death is what I ask for."

Murmurs spread around the room. Some of them had expected Master Chief to beg for mercy, or to justify his actions. None of them were quite prepared for this.

"Master Chief is right," Meta Knight's voice boomed, hushing the rest. Snake looked over at the Star Warrior in surprise. "He seems penitent, but for order to exist again in This World, we must let justice take its own. I say we give him his wish…for the good of all."

"I concur," Shadow said immediately, his arms folded. "It's too dangerous to allow a war like this go without severe punishment. Otherwise, there might be some Microsians of the lower orders who will all too easily take pardoning as a sign of weakness—as an invitation to wage war again. Master Chief must die."

A murmur of approval went around the council, though responses were far from unanimous.

"Can you not hear yourselves?" Princess Peach's voice penetrated surprisingly well through the chatter. "We're going about this all wrong. If you execute Master Chief, you are not promoting peace; you are asserting yourselves as every bit the dictator Wizpig was! Killing him won't stop the hearts of evil beings from setting This World aflame. What _will_ stop them…is giving Reach its leader back, and showing Microsoft _through_ the Master Chief that we want only to be friends and allies. Master Chief is the only one who can be this symbol of peace between us, but he can't do so if he's dead."

Once again, Peach's diplomatic words had a powerful effect over the mind of her audience. But not all were swayed.

"Are you kidding?" Kazooie squawked. "Letting Master Chief go would be like weaving a freakin' time bomb into your nest."

"The bird has a point," Cipher said, his thoughts going to his old wingmen. "He must be sentenced to a life in prison, at the very least."

"That seems reasonable," Gadd said.

But all civil conversation was soon engulfed in loud protests. It took a full minute before Ryu commanded their attention.

"I have a proposition," he said.

"Yes?" Gadd prompted.

"It is this: Should not Master Chief's fate lie with those whom he affected most? We should turn over the decision to them." He looked pointedly at each of the members of RareWare and then at Snake and Samus.

"Ryu Hayabusa's proposal shall be upheld," L.O.G. said, turning to the indicated council members. "Let us hear your minds."

Joanna went first. "Well, I, for one, am all for giving him the death sentence. That's what we'd all have received if our places were switched."

"I'm with her," Kameo said.

"It's only fair," Berri said.

"Humba agrees with skinny red woman," Humba Wumba said. Snake could tell from her eyes that the scars of Mumbo Jumbo's loss had yet to heal—if they ever would.

Master Jiggywiggy bowed his head. "It seems that is the way the Hand of Fate is pointing us."

"That's the only way we'll all be safe," Drumstick affirmed.

Banjo seemed a little less sure of himself. "Uh…well, I think it'd be okay to give a prison sentence; we can show at least a little mercy. We're supposed to be the good guys, after all."

"Ignore everything Banjo says," Kazooie rebuked. "He's an idiot; we should toss the Chief in that pit of his. See how he likes it!"

All who remained now were Donkey Kong, Dixie, Snake, and Samus.

DK turned to Dixie, but she just shook her head, refusing to weigh in. So DK looked back at L.O.G. and said, "I'm with Banjo. We don't have to kill him…but there should still be consequences."

Everyone looked at Snake and Samus.

"I think you already know what I think," Samus said matter-of-factly. "A life for a life."

Finally, Snake had the stage. Here he was, looking down on Master Chief, issuing judgment just as the Spartan had upon him not so long ago. And yet…the feelings of triumph, of righteous indignance that he'd anticipated…they just weren't there.

If Master Chief's admission of guilt had surprised Snake before, it was nothing compared to what then came out of Snake's own mouth. He stood, looking directly at the Chief the whole time.

"If you asked me this anytime before today, I would've agreed with most of our RareWare friends immediately. But…things have changed. _I_ have changed. Master Chief…has atoned for his sins already. He slew Wizpig; he brought eternal shame upon himself in front of his followers; and he, like all of us, was manipulated by a false god. And also like all of us, he lost something precious to him in this war. He now knows the pain he put us through. That's good enough for me. I say he belongs with his people, to earn their trust and our trust back. And Marcus Fenix, too."

Silence. Shock.

Then, one by one, the members of RareWare who had only seconds ago desired Master Chief's execution changed their vote: first Joanna, then Kameo, Berri, Master Jiggywiggy, Banjo (Kazooie was zipped up tight in his backpack by this point), DK, and Dixie. And finally, Samus looked at Snake, her face just visible behind her helmet's green visor, and nodded as if to say, _It's what Falcon would have wanted._

At this, L.O.G. seemed to just hover there, unblinking. As if even he, a computer, could be taken aback by a simple calculation.

Gadd eyed the ambassador and cleared his throat. "Well, the vote seems to be unanimous. Master Chief shall be reprieved, then, of all his wrongdoing. He did save us, after all, and from henceforth should be considered one of us."

What happened next, though no one thought it possible, topped all the other surprises of this meeting. By a long shot.

L.O.G.'s screen suddenly turned a bright, saturated blue. A thick beam of light pulsed from it and struck Master Chief.

The Spartan had no time to so much as yell in surprise. As the light engulfed him, the tips of his fingers and his feet pixelated into tiny squares and vanished. The pixelation ran up his legs and along his arms, and then across his chest, and finally, the ambor-visored helmet was digitally consumed and was gone.

"Oh dear." L.O.G.'s screen reverted to its Pong bars. He looked to each side and then at where the Master Chief had disappeared. "Travesty. My hardware must have malfunctioned and Deleted him by accident. This is most unfortunate. I have never had such a data-processing anomaly before; my new hard drive is supposed to be infallible and incorruptible."

But DK smelled a rat, and he knew he wasn't the only one. Sudden memories were coming back to him. "Incorruptible? Didn't you say a chip planted in your hard drive forced you to let the Seran prisoners on the Ark escape back on the Isle o' Hags?"

"Yeah," Kazooie said, bursting from Banjo's backpack after having pried open the zipper with her beak. "And didn't you say your hard drive was unable to read the rest of Taj's Memory Lamp transmission on Timber's Island?"

"And," Samus said slowly, raising her arm cannon to point at the floating computer, "wasn't it an anonymous computer hacker that killed Cortana, planting the seed that led Master Chief to side with Wizpig?"

Now all weapons were pointed at L.O.G., but none of them fired. For none of them knew what this meant.

L.O.G. blinked, as unresponsive as ever. Then, a long, much less computer-like, much more human-like sigh.

"I had hoped to finish what Nightmare started without further casualties," he said, now floating higher into the air, above the center of the amphitheater. Cords extended from within the royal purple cloak, flicking and crackling with blue electricity like jellyfish tentacles.

"But I suppose my brother's work was never meant to be a simple one."

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Because I want to make sure I have time to finish the last chapter of _The Forgotten Rights of Passage_ (Chapter 21) properly, and because I have a perverse affection for extended cliffhangers, I am going to give myself an extra week before publishing Chapter 20. Find out what happens next on **March 3, 2017**!


	28. Chapter 20: Out of Memory

Chapter 20: Out of Memory

* * *

 _ **U**_ nlike Nightmare, L.O.G. was not one for evil laughter. He was just cold, and calculating, and detached. He could see that the Smash Brothers, All-Stars, and Sentinels were growing restless with his recent revelation, so he chose that moment to Reboot.

As he'd done in previous battles, his monitor screen flashed a bright green—except this time, it paralyzed not just one or two, but everyone in the room. Several of the gathered heroes had been in the process of releasing arrows or firing guns, but their efforts were rendered inutile, their bodies flickering in place, the only faculties left to them being speech and eye movement.

"Before we proceed," L.O.G. said, "allow me to congratulate you characters on coming this far. I had never expected any of you to debug my subterfuge—least of all, some monkeys and a honey bear."

"Why are you doing this?" Banjo grumbled in frustration as he tried to break free of his frozen position, but to no avail. "And what do you mean 'finish what Nightmare started?'"

The Pong bars blinked, seemingly as benign as ever—if you disregarded the flailing mass of cords billowing from beneath the monitor as if he were some kind of electronic cephalopod.

"My dear brother—Nightmare, as you Nintendonians called him—he relied upon fear to control his universe. And, to a certain extent, he was quite successful at what he did. Indeed, I was surprised, though saddened, when I learned of his demise by some strange twist of fate. It appears we, as programmers banished by our team to This World, have not been given as much free reign as we had presumed."

Mario remembered how Nightmare had described his role as a creator of worlds—including the Nintendo World. "You a-tried to change the world so the villains would a-win, like Master Hand," he said.

But L.O.G. shook his head; the Pong ball circled around the center of the screen in amusement. "No…I'm afraid that was my brother's idea. He was the philosophical outlier; I, on the other hand, was exiled due to my intellectual brilliance. I attempted to input secrets and shortcuts in This World that would make life much more interesting for everyone…but our alleged superiors would not have it. They saw my ingenious designs—such as the Stop n' Swop program that would link the Isle o' Hags to other worlds in a distinct, if slightly destructive way, transferring one world's weapons to another—as too radical for their purposes. And as consequence, they confined me to This World in this primitive form…though they knew not what powers I would be able to seize in their absence."

"Stop n' Swop?" The term rang a bell in Banjo's mind just as other shrouded, suppressed memories had been. "So why did you tell us about some kind of alternate reality where you arbitrated between us and Grunty over Spiral Mountain's real estate?"

"I am the Lord of Games," L.O.G. said, as if that somehow answered the question. "I did not lie to you Smash Brothers when I said I've had a hand in every game—every world—ever architected. In truth, Banjo, I told you of our alternate reality because I wanted to see whether it would trigger any interdimensional changes—even, perhaps, to bring back Gruntilda. After all, that is how I revived Grunty in the first place, and how I granted Wizpig his power: through Memory Paradoxes."

"Do explain," Gadd said, the scientist within him temporarily overriding his awareness of their horrible predicament.

"A Memory Paradox occurs when a future that was supposed to happen is prevented through Memory Loss. One of my singular talents is to calculate—though not travel to—the future. For instance, causing Conker to forget his squirrel family resulted in his allying against his former friends. Taking away Banjo's memory of the land dispute diverted Time from its current path into a new stream in which Grunty was regenerated. And implanting memories inside Wizpig of numerous world conquests made him believe—and, in very fact, enabled him—to harness the power of a god, destroying Microsoft's threats and acceding to the Microsian throne. Even small alterations can have unintended consequences—such as the time I removed Bowser's memory of his own children's deaths, inadvertently bringing the first of his eight offspring back to life. It is all quite fascinating, isn't it?"

 _Fascinating is one thing you could call it,_ Gadd thought. _Insane and diabolical would be two others._ "So you've been manipulating our memories to control the world. Very clever. Short-sighted, but clever."

For the first time, L.O.G. appeared slightly annoyed. "It is not just about controlling This World, professor. It's about exacting our justified vengeance upon our banishers by submerging their creations in chaos. Eternal chaos. If you only knew of all the memories I've taken from the inhabitants of This World…" Again with that amused Pong ball movement. "Well, the results could very well blow your mind in both figurative and literal ways. In fact, you ought to be grateful to me…. Without the Copyright Wars I've so carefully orchestrated, without the Memory Loss and Memory Implants that have pitted you against each other…you have no idea what alternate reality might await you. By gaining your trust…tagging along on your foolish campaigns…expediting the battle on the Isle o' Hags by triggering Grunty Industry's sewage system to flood the swamp…even making it appear as if Master Chief had the power to mortally wound me…I have turned This World against itself, succeeding in a way my brother never could."

"And what of RareWare?" Master Jiggywiggy, faceless as his jigsaw head was, clearly appeared to be in more distress than the emotionless computer. "We worked to build a bridge of peace between Nintendo and Microsoft. Why did you endeavor to form such an allegiance among us if your intention was war?"

"RareWare…" That Pong ball was now dancing like a pixel on its birthday. "RareWare was my most brilliant idea of all. All this time, Nintendo and Sony and Atari believed Microsoft to be the source of their troubles…when all the while, RareWare has been the answer from the very beginning—the very instrument of their undoing. What you Islanders thought was peacekeeping and asserting independence was in actuality the tool through which we incited war. Without RareWare, none of the Microsian territories would have rebelled; without RareWare, Nintendo would have had nothing to blame Microsoft for seizing; without RareWare, there would be no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow—that ideal of excellence that every man, woman, machine, and creature of This World would covet above all else." The small air vent at the bottom of the monitor seemed to curve into a small frown. "And yet, Taj drew dangerously close to discovering my secret…to revealing my true intentions. I knew he would have to go if I was to accomplish my aims."

"So you had him killed," Drumstick said, his red rooster head even redder with fury.

"Indeed." L.O.G. did a casual spin, the cords bobbing with him like a strange amusement park ride. "And with RareWare to facilitate never-ending conflict in This World, my position of wealth and influence was secured. Nightmare did intrude with his Polygons, so I let him have his fun, but once he was gone, there was no one to control his polygonal pawns, and so I made good use of them in stirring up the fumes of war once more."

"But you've failed," Snake said in defiance. "The war's over. Our worlds are at peace, and even if you kill every last one of us, you'll never get away with this without turning the entire Smash Planet against you. Not even you will be able to control that."

"Kill you?" L.O.G. spun to face Snake. "Oh, no. Dear me, no. It is true that the Master Chief, by necessity, had to be Deleted. Otherwise, a long era of despicable peace should have followed. But now, it is a simple matter of removing your memories of all we have discussed. When we walk out of this room, the tale will be told of how Master Chief lashed out against the council, perhaps taking a few characters down with him; how he was necessarily but brutally put down; and how Microsoft will have to be placed under very strict control—servitude, even—to ensure such an uprising does not reoccur." The aged green screen flickered with horizontal bars of alternating darkness in a way that gave any who gazed upon it a dizzying headache. "Which, of course, it will. Soon."

The Lord of Games swiveled to examine each of his victims. "But who will be the martyrs that Master Chief will have killed during his downfall? An old advisor, perhaps?" The screen flashed and cast another bright blue beam, which struck Toadsworth, causing his body to pixilate just as Master Chief's had before him. Peach screamed in terror.

"An absentee father?" Another beam flared, striking Quentin. Red cried out in helpless anguish. Before his father completely pixelated, however, the man pulled a neon blue sphere form his belt and placed it in Red's hand.

"Take it," Quentin said with a small smile, and was gone, leaving only the Omni Ball in his place.

L.O.G.'s tirade continued. "A sagely monk?" Master Jiggywiggy's sad eyes were the last to disappear.

"A dubious scientist?" Gadd just gaped as he was digitally disintegrated.

"A troubled friend?" Shadow could only elicit a grunt as he was consumed by the destructive flash.

 _This has to stop,_ Ratchet thought, his OmniWrench clenched in his hand. If he could just…but no, it was impossible to move, not even a finger, not even a single button push. He swiveled his eyes frantically, trying to catch someone's attention. Anyone's.

Ashley Williams noticed the All-Star's look. She looked down at the mechanical tool and immediately understood. She glanced beside her and somehow got Lilith's attention. Both the Biotic and the Siren focused their gaze on the Lombax's hand, trying their utmost to harness just a tiny amount of Mass Effect and metaphysical energy.

L.O.G. came to a stop. "That seems sufficient," he said. "I suppose there is no point in delaying the inevitable; it is time to go to sleep, friends. When you awake, all will be right with the world…for a few days, at least."

Both minds strained as hard as they could, but try as they might, L.O.G.'s paralyzing Reboot was too strong for them to break. Until a third mind joined them—a Psychic mind.

Mewtwo's psychokinetic power pushed the Mass Effect and metaphysical energy just over the brink, just enough to cause Ratchet's index finger to tighten over a certain button on his OmniWrench.

The magnetic field of the wrench was activated, which, as anyone who works with computers knows, wreaks havoc on electronic devices. An invisible wave pulsed from Ratchet's weapon, and just like that, the Reboot was broken.

Everyone regained control of their bodies at once, and just as simultaneously, they attacked L.O.G. and his vicious electric cords: projectiles of energy and arrow and spike; blades and fists and guns; hammers and bombs and magic.

A loud, mind-jarring beep buzzed from the center, as if L.O.G.'s hard drive had just crashed. But that hope was short-lived as he lashed out with all his cords in all directions, the heroes' attacks inflicting minimal damage on his monitor and plastic-coated appendages. At the same time, the computer mouse detached itself from L.O.G.'s shoulder, sprouted wings in the form of twin disc drives with deadly serrated edges, and dived toward the assorted heroes, its eyes glowing a vicious red, its USB tail whipping back and forth like a viper.

Kazooie beheld the Reconfigured mouse flying toward her.

"Oh, for the love of—"

By now, all were engaged in a frantic fight against the monstrous cords—and, as it turned out, a dozen more Reconfigured mice crawled out from L.O.G.'s cloak and joined the fray. Meanwhile, L.O.G.'s screen was exhibiting rapid, sporadic flashes of bright blue, sending beams in spontaneous directions.

And, one by one, the heroes began to fall, their pixels surrendering to L.O.G.'s attacks.

Toon Link yelled as he sliced off a cord bound for his face. The severed end wriggled on the ground, the plug vainly trying to attack him like a garden snake.

"No!"

In his brief moment of triumph, he saw both Zelda and his older self succumb to L.O.G.'s blue flashes. In fact, so many Smash Brothers, All-Stars, and Sentinels were vanishing all around him that it was difficult to keep track.

Kazooie cawed in triumph as she froze a mouse with an Ice Egg, then pecked it with her beak, shattering both the ice and its contents.

"Put that in your pipe and smoke it!"

But in the midst of her celebration, a blue flash took her right out of Banjo's backpack.

"Kazooie!" Banjo narrowed his eyes and faced the aged monitor. L.O.G. had pretended to be a friend to Nintendo and the Islands all this time…but it had all been a lie. RareWare was a sham, which L.O.G. had influenced to fall willingly into Microsoft's control. So many were dead because of him—Banjo's favorite skull-faced shaman being chief among them. He unslung his backpack and leapt toward L.O.G., just managing to bring the blue pack over the monitor and shield those who remained from the blue flashes.

L.O.G. writhed under the backpack, Banjo clinging onto it for dear life. Several cords wrapped themselves around his feet, zapping him and flinging him across the room.

By now, over half of the council members were gone. Snake and Joanna both pounced on L.O.G. from behind, Snake with a remote controlled bomb in hand. But L.O.G.'s monitor flipped upside down as a number of his cords latched onto the ceiling, inverting his entire person (the purple cloak, strangely, did not drop). He sent a beam into the female spy, and then expelled a ring of fire from the vent (a Firewall, as it were), blasting Snake back and anyone else approaching from all sides. He followed up with another blue flash just as the FOXHOUND leader's explosive detonated from contact with the Firewall.

Then another daring move was made: Mewtwo used the strongest of his Psychic powers to create a gap in the electrified tentacles and Firewall, making room for Ratchet to make a desperate dive through the opening. He yelled as he whacked L.O.G.'s screen with his OmniWrench, instantly shutting down all the flailing cords and even creating a small crack on the glassy green surface.

L.O.G. didn't like that at all. He whipped around and flashed both Ratchet and Clank out of sight, then absorbed the Firewall back into his monitor.

Now, the screen was flashing between green and red. A mouse cursor filled the backlit screen—in the form of the dreaded hourglass.

"I give you heroes props for creativity," L.O.G.'s voice buzzed, unnaturally loud. "Allow me to give the rest of you an inside look into the LOG Box…"

Just as the remaining heroes were recovering from the Firewall, they witnessed a truly strange phenomenon: L.O.G.'s monitor expanded in all directions, like an internet window being maximized, and enveloped the entire room in flickering green darkness.

* * *

Mario; DK; Kirby; Roy; Toon Link; Tetra; Red; Mewtwo; Pit.

Banjo; Rocketman; Sackboy; Sonic; Sly Cooper; Mordecai; Shepard; Kameo.

These 17 were all who remained.

The LOG Box was unlike anything any of them had ever seen. They stood on a disc the size of a small duck pond, the surface featuring colorful animals and confetti with the words "Viva Piñata" printed across the top in a garish font. This disc was mounted on a small plateau that looked out upon a truly mind-boggling view.

It was an expanse of golden wires, weaving and zigzagging along the sides and across the chamber; dark gray walls with digital neon green numbers in a constant state of fluctuation, the digits changing with no predictable pattern, yet with a purposefulness that suggested a greater mind at work. Tubes of flowing magenta liquid wound about here and there, their purpose as mysterious as the rest of the room. Beeps and buzzes and blue sparks speeding along the gold wires gave the place an almost hive-like sense of perpetual activity.

The entire chamber was one giant box.

And below the newcomers, situated in a rectangular metal niche, was what appeared to be a giant brain—smaller, perhaps, than Mother Brain, but emanating a sort of undeviating coldness that would have made Mother Brain seem like Mother Theresa. Thick metal tubes linked it to the walls of the garage-like depression, and it heaved with an unfathomable intelligence quite unlike any of the artificial technology around it, or really any technology anywhere. A glowing blue membrane appeared to be wrapped around it, shining like a screen protector.

Banjo braced himself for Kazooie's snarky remark on their latest exotic location…but it didn't come. It was then that he registered the empty lightness of his backpack. He clenched his paws. Kazooie, like so many others, was gone. But if there was any way they could find their friends stored in some kind of virtual Recycle Bin in this LOG Box, they would find it.

As it turned out, there was no need for the heroes to begin searching the vast computer innards for their adversary, for it was then that the heaving brain below them spoke—in a very human voice without the syllabic jumps of computer speech. The voice boomed around them like surround sound turned up a tad too loud.

"Welcome to my mind," the Lord of Games said. They didn't feel welcome. "Congrats are in order for advancing to this level in the game of your lives. Prior to wiping your memories, I shall divulge just one of the mysteries surrounding your existence as a sort of consolation prize—in spite of the insolence of that wrench-wielding Lombax."

At that point, the blue "glass" surrounding the brain rushed upward fluidly to form a projected three-dimensional image for all to see. Banjo's eyes widened, his surprise matched by those around him. That image…

It was Smash Planet. Rotating slowly on its vertical axis.

"There is a reason all of you are drawn toward each other's worlds—a primeval bond that links your lands together. Allow me to demonstrate."

The planet itself faded away, but the four land masses representing each of the three continents—Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft, as well as Atari—remained. And then, the projected continents began to move close together: Nintendo and Sony converged on each other; Microsoft compressed itself, becoming tall and narrow, and found its place to the left of Nintendo's west coast; Atari Island grew significantly larger and occupied the space in the bottom-left corner of the formation.

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** To view this picture, got to my account on Photobucket (Bob_Snicket) and find "Smash Planet United." You can reach the account by Googling "Bob_Snicket AND photobucket".

* * *

The circle with the off-centered cross—the one stamped on the envelopes of Master Hand's Smash Tournaments and engraved in the Smash Hall of Fame; the one emblazoned upon his trophy stands; the one displayed on the flag of the raft upon which L.O.G. had arrived at Nintendo in the first place; the one that the _King's Krystal_ had sported in addition to Nintendo's "N" under the assumption that it represented unity between worlds. Only, none of them could have known how literal that unity was.

"Master Hand's symbol," Toon Link said. "It's not some kind of crosshair; it's all the worlds put together."

"Indeed," L.O.G.'s brain echoed. "But I digress. Time to say goodbye to your memories, humans…"

"We're not all humans," DK muttered under his breath. Even after all this time, the sentient computer still couldn't seem to get his species straight. That, or L.O.G. just enjoyed making overgeneralizations, as if he could formulate some kind of tidy algorithm for life.

From the walls around them, the digital Numbers suddenly began peeling off the surfaces, directing themselves toward the "Viva Piñata" disk like so many angry crows. The swarm converged on them and would certainly have met their mark had they not collided with Mewtwo's Light Screen, which had formed an oblong dome around the group—including the brain not too far below.

 _"Go,"_ he seethed, the white veins popping in his head. _"Destroy the brain!"_

But already, even as they hopped down and made for L.O.G.'s cerebrum, the Numbers began to shatter through the Light Screen. Most of the digits that made it through bee-lined toward Mewtwo, engulfing him in flashing green edges. Several, however, aimed for the rest—particularly those near the back. Sly Cooper had to stop and swipe one away with his cane like a baseball bat, only to find three more incoming. Kameo transformed into Chilla—the spike-armored abominable snowman—and crushed and shattered Numbers with icy daggers. DK joined the beast's side with his Coconut Gun and blasted Numbers left and right. Mordecai drew a pistol, squinted his eyes behind his green-lensed goggles, and somehow managed to shoot down his targets with one hand, while simultaneously blocking other Numbers with his short sword in the other. His hawk swooped ahead and tackled the Numbers head-on.

The rest of them ran (or, in Sonic's case, rolled) down to the depression where L.O.G.'s brain throbbed, though it didn't seem to have any intention of moving or stopping them.

Commander Shepard, at the front, caused his Omni-Tool's holographic dagger to extend from his wrist and fixed the brain with an indignant glare.

"This is for all of Eden's dead!"

And he lunged forward, drawing back his fist and bringing the scarlet weapon down toward the slimy mass.

But as the blade was inches from penetrating the brain, Shepard's body was repelled by the blue membrane, and even as he was thrown back, his body disintegrated into pixels just like others had before him. Just like those who had stayed behind to fight the Numbers, and who, one by one, were overwhelmed and succumbed to digitization.

Those who remained hesitated before the brain, even as Numbers began breaking through what was left of Mewtwo's Light Screen in earnest and streamed viciously down toward the heroes.

Sonic looked up at the Numbers and then back at his friends. "I'll hold them off as long as I can," he said. "But you guys've gotta bust that cranium…and fast!"

The hedgehog curled into a spiky blue ball and began rolling around the edge of the depression. Soon, a whirlwind rose from Sonic's speeding figure, catching the swarm of Numbers in a wild torrent and leaving the heroes and the brain in the eye of the storm.

Mario, Pit, Toon Link, and Rocketman fired red fireballs, arrows, and lasers at L.O.G., but the blue shield absorbed all of their projectiles like stones dropped into a lake. The rest of them stood there helplessly; no physical attack was going to break through this monstrous machine.

Red looked down at the glowing Omni Ball in his hand. His father had given it to him…but could he use it? He had never had the kind of Spirit Bond with the Pokémon world that Quentin had mastered. It was all so abstract compared to the tactile science of Pokémon catching and training he was used to. He closed his eyes and willed for a Pokémon to channel itself into the ball and rescue them from their predicament.

 _Come on…_

He tried to clear his mind and reach out to feel the immaterial presence of Pokémon spirits, like his dad had been teaching him. But no matter how hard he concentrated, he felt nothing. He grunted in frustration, knowing he could try throwing the ball, but nothing would come out.

Kirby shared a meaningful look with Sackboy. The plushie hesitated, then nodded and stretched his arms out, closing his eyes like someone about to jump off a diving board. Except in this case, the pool happened to be Kirby's mouth.

Kirby quickly inhaled Sackboy and swallowed, spitting the Sonian back out in the form of a yellow star and leaping into the air as he transformed into his newest Copy Ability:

Craft Kirby.

His body was made of the same sackcloth as Sackboy, his eyes black oval buttons, a zipper running down his back and a couple small stitches here and there. The inside of his mouth was red felt. And in one of his stubby hands was an enormous sewing needle.

As Sonic drained all the energy he had left fending off the Numbers and the others watched uselessly, Craft Kirby and Sackboy ran forward and put their artistic skills to the test.

Both wielding threaded sewing needles, they hopped across the brain from opposite sides, then did so again, and again, and again, stitching a bright white cloth that was just high enough above the brain to not be touching the blue membrane.

Soon, both crafters had become blurs, weaving parallel lines at first, but then rotating and coming from other directions, crossing over each other's shining strings with incredible artistry and precision. Finally, they had woven a thick white blanket and, as one, Kirby and Sackboy pulled the corners down on the brain.

It throbbed and heaved angrily, as if the blanket were suffocating it. The brain grew still on the bottom of the depression…and then shot upward, tearing the white blanket out of the heroes' hands and shredding it with an outward pulse of the blue shield, which briefly expanded to consume the pieces of the blanket.

In that moment, when the shield was stretched to its thinnest, Craft Kirby and Sackboy made their finishing move. They speared their needles through the shield and into the brain, and then conjured more, puncturing it again, and again, and again, until it looked like a slimy pink pincushion.

A deafening beep blared from the brain as shafts of light broke out from the points where the needles had penetrated. It rattled and shook and caused the blue shield to flow like a liquid down toward the two creative heroes, consuming them even as Sonic's strength was depleted and the Numbers enveloped him as well. And the rest…the rest could barely stay on their feet as the LOG Box shook and the shafts of light widened until it was all they could see.

* * *

At first Pit thought they were floating through space. But then he looked down and saw the Citadel station floating not too far below, and the main question on his mind became, _How am I still breathing?_

He—along with Mario, Roy, Toon Link, Tetra, Red, Banjo, and Rocketman—was drifting listlessly through the air. Gravity, for some reason, had no hold upon them, although by pumping his wings, he could control the direction he floated.

It wasn't until he heard the voice that he realized the eight of them weren't just floating through space. They were floating inside a glass sphere. A sphere as big as a planet-destroying meteor. A sphere whose top featured a complex of metal tubes and wires that snaked halfway down like a space Kraken, giving it the overall appearance of a monstrous Christmas ornament.

At the center of the tangled metal, L.O.G.'s screen—now the size of a drive-in theater—stared down at the sphere's contents, his face now a bright, dangerous red, thousands of sparks flickering unstably from his multitudinous appendages, his erratic Pong bar eyes jumping around the screen.

"This is the end for you, Smash Brothers," his voice boomed from every direction. "You may have damaged my system beyond repair…but now your program shall be aborted. In just a few moments, when our collision destroys the Citadel, I will part from this present form and take on another, just as my brother became Tabuu…but you mortals, you will have no data to be recovered—and neither will those whose files I have Deleted. With Smash Planet's leaders dead or in disarray, war will reign indefinitely. Say your last prayers, for it is time to prepare for terminal shutdown."

An enormous jet engine flared from behind L.O.G.'s machinery, propelling the LOGosphere in a direct course toward the Citadel's Presidium Ring. If they crashed, the entire station would collapse, dropping tens of thousands of civilians five hundred feet to Eden Prime's surface. And even if anyone down there noticed what was happening, they wouldn't have enough time to protect themselves by folding the five Wards in on themselves.

"We've gotta break through!" Toon Link said. He propelled himself straight into the LOGosphere's transparent wall, his sword pointed forward. But he bounced off of it like a rubber ball, tumbling back through the air toward the rest of them.

Tetra's eyes widened as she watched the Citadel draw nearer from below. "Nice try, kid, but I doubt L.O.G.'s left us any easy way out of this."

THEN WE MUST FIND THE HARD WAY, Rocketman's projected text read. And he began shooting up at L.O.G.'s screen—with negligible effect. Mario contributed fireballs, but to no avail. A haunting, jeering electronic laugh reverberated from within the curving surfaces.

"My brain may have been vulnerable to the puppet's pricks, and my screen weak against the Lombax's magnetic wrench," L.O.G. said, "but this is my computer core's last line of defense. No mortal power will change your fate."

 _No mortal power_ , Pit thought. And then he thought of Quill's tales of the long-forgotten deities of the Great Sea, such as the dragon Valoo, and he thought of what Quill had said when describing their mission as Smash Brothers.

 _"Alone, we are weak; but together, we are strong."_

And again, Taj's words came to mind…

" _Find the deities you can trust…and when you discover the evil ones, join against them."_

Ever since the Battle of Rapture, he'd wondered how to tell the difference between a benevolent deity and a malevolent one. Now was his chance to find out.

He knelt in the empty space and clasped his hands together and closed his eyes.

 _Lady Palutena…if you can hear me…deliver us from this evil…_

Mario noticed Pit's unusual position and was about to ask him about it when he connected the angel's action with those of Princess Peach and the entire Mushroom Kingdom during Bowser's reign with the Star Rod. He bowed his head and closed his eyes.

 _Star Spirits…you've helped us already, but we need your blessing one more time…_

Roy joined them in his own way.

 _Divine Dragons…in this our darkest hour…_

Toon Link looked at Tetra and, instinctively but inexplicably, took her hand. The Triforces of Courage and Wisdom shone on the back of their hands, completely baffling both of them—especially Tetra.

Red shut out everything else (which, considering their current situation, was a considerable feat) and tried once more to feel out the life force of the Pokémon, the Omni Ball clenched tightly in his hand. He thought of all the incredible creatures he'd encountered as a trainer, of their intelligence and intuition, of the power and majesty of this colorful world. But still, he felt nothing….

Meanwhile, Banjo and Rocketman were still attacking L.O.G.'s theater screen fruitlessly, the rainbow lasers just as ineffective as Banjo's punches and kicks. The computer entity's buzzing laugh continued. The LOGosphere approached the Citadel faster and faster. It was only a matter of seconds now….

Pit's heart sunk as the end drew nigh. They had been abandoned. They were alone in This World, just as Nightmare and Wizpig and L.O.G. had said.

A flash of white passed between the Citadel and the LOGosphere, and a translucent purple square bordered with blinding yellow light stopped the giant orb in its tracks, bringing them to a stalemate even with the rocket still blasting from behind the suicidal computer. Pit opened his eyes and looked down and couldn't believe the sight of the figure responsible for the Reflect Barrier.

Long, flowing green hair. An elegant white Greek dress and gold gauntlets and necklace and laurel. And a long blue staff topped with a curling gold design.

The Goddess of Skyworld—Lady Palutena.

But she wasn't alone. Following behind, seven pinpricks of light shot forward and pressed themselves along the underside of the LOGosphere. Mario's heart lifted at the Seven Star Spirits' return.

Then Roy's attention was caught as a glowing yellow dragon at least twenty times the size of Spyro careened directly through Palutena's Reflect Barrier and into the LOGosphere, shattering the bottom and soaring up to where the eight heroes still floated, gravity thankfully unaffected by the breach as of yet. The dragon took in a deep breath and exhaled a dazzling stream of white flames which struck L.O.G.'s screen, pushing the entire sphere back the way it had come.

Roy caught the eye of the dragon as it flew beside him and was surprised to find it familiar. There was only one man in all of Akaneia who had such a sagely gaze.

"Gotoh?" he said, incredulous. "Is that you?"

The dragon's wide nostrils steamed, the long white mane of hair rippling down its back. It communicated not verbally, but to the swordsman's mind.

" _Yes, Roy. I was once numbered among the Divine Dragons, remember? Your faith brought me here in my True Form."_

Three additional figures entered through Gotoh's breach—three women, as elegantly dressed as Palutena. One had wavy aquamarine hair; another, a fiery, rippling red; and the third, organic, flowing forest green. Each had matching eyes, a matching dress, and a matching aura that exuded the combined strength of the Triforce: the Hylian Goddesses Nayru, Din, and Farore.

Toon Link and Tetra watched agape as the goddesses gave them divine smiles and then turned up toward Gotoh's target, adding their own colored beams of magic to the mix. At the same time, the Star Spirits cast a Refresh on all of the deities, causing them to glow even brighter with renewed stamina and redoubled strength.

The LOGosphere blew a fuse, and the screen shut off, and for a moment, it seemed that the battle was won.

But then, with a manic, inhuman strength, it sprung back to life. The single rocket behind the sphere was joined by five others, and it began to push against the twelve deities' resistance in earnest, approaching ever closer to the Presidium Ring. They were now close enough to see the horrified faces of people looking out from various buildings curving around the ring. Faces anticipating an imminent apocalypse.

"You come too late, Starmakers!" L.O.G. boomed.

And so it seemed. Not even the combined gods and goddesses of the Nintendo World would be enough to stop L.O.G.'s last act of destruction.

Red could hardly shut out the chaos of this titanic clash. But he _had_ to. What was he missing? Why had his father ever thought Red would have any sort of proclivity toward forming a Spirit Bond with the Pokémon world?

And then he remembered. Back on _The_ _King's Krystal_ , that night when he'd been able to sit down and talk to his father for the first time since he was a small child. Pikachu and Jigglypuff had affectionately come out from their Pokéballs and gathered around him.

" _I can tell from the way your Pokémon behave that you have loved them as you would your own children."_

And he did. Red felt so much more than a passing fondness for each Pokémon he'd trained. His Pikachu, who had been killed by Metal Mr. Game & Watch, had nearly torn his heart out when he'd been taken away from him. But it was then Red realized that his pain…that love for his Pokémon and respect for them as for an equal…that was the essence of a Spirit Bond. All that remained was for him to extend that love out to encompass all Pokémon everywhere.

He felt the Omni Ball vibrate in his hand and at first he couldn't believe it. Surely it would take him many years of meditation, as it had his father, before he would be able to summon Pokémon through such a bond. But then it vibrated again, like an incessant cell phone that refused to be silenced.

Red loosened his grip, and the Omni Ball did not wait to be thrown, but rolled from his hand and opened before him, emitting a shaft of brilliant blue light.

The Pokémon who appeared was the very one he'd encountered that night on _The_ _King's Krystal_.

"Mew…"

The small pink cat, with its fathomless sapphire eyes, still glittered like a shooting star. It made eye contact with Red, as if to thank him for the invitation, and then, to his surprise, actually flew down and out of the LOGosphere, its body floating within a small lavender orb. It flew out and then back up the sphere until it reached the top where the six rockets pushed the maniacal machine down the last stretch toward L.O.G.'s awaiting victims.

A wave of astral magenta energy rippled from Mew's body and swept across the engines. In an instant, the Aura Sphere attack had caused all six flames to extinguish, bringing L.O.G.'s progress to a final dead halt. Silence overtook the LOGosphere as Gotoh and the Hylian goddesses ceased their magic attacks, seeing they were no longer needed.

For the first time since Master Chief's trial had begun, the heroes breathed sighs of relief. L.O.G.'s screen was still active, but his Pong Bars were now flickering frantically. If he had been able to do anything else, he would have done it by now.

"FOOLS!" L.O.G.'s internal fan whirred unhealthily. "Worthless bytes! Know you not that you were all created by us for one purpose—and one purpose only? To entertain! To play as pawns for millions of desensitized and dollar-deprived children throughout my world! Your victory will be in vain, for your existence is meaningless. You are nothing but characters in games whose endings you were never meant to write. This will change nothing! Soon you will all—"

The screen was splattered by a stream of black rocket fuel from Rocketman's jetpack, jamming the vent and muffling L.O.G.'s voice. The Atarian then backed away and offered Banjo his pixelated gun.

CARE TO DO THE HONORS?

Banjo smiled and nodded. He took the gun, aimed it up at the screen, and fired a single pink-and-white-flashing laser. The superpowered fuel had the same impact on L.O.G.'s fried hard drive that Ulysses Reeka had wanted it to have on the Nintendonian continent.

The memory of the blast that followed became muddled in the minds of the eight heroes, just like much of the truth of the Copyright Wars had been, except on a much smaller scale. And the blinding flashes of light; the shattering glass and machinery; the sudden plummet toward Smash Planet that was softened by Gotoh and the Star Spirits; all these were memories they could do without a perfect recollection of anyways.


	29. Chapter 21: Master and Commander

Chapter 21: Master and Commander

* * *

" _ **H**_ _eroes of Nintendo and Smash Planet…once again, your faith has rewarded you with victory…"_

Pit wasn't sure whether he was in some kind of light-headed trance or if he was dreaming, but the blinding white background made it difficult for him to distinguish Lady Palutena's figure other than from her striking emerald-green hair. The other seven heroes—Mario, Toon Link, Tetra, Roy, Red, Banjo, and Rocketman—floated beside him in this empty void. Were they dead?

Then Palutena's soft, lilting voice came again, echoing from all directions as if they were standing in the middle of a vast cavern. _"The true gods of This World have always yearned to bestow their blessings upon the valiant races of men and mortals—but only when the time is right, and only when our aid is asked for. Sometimes, as with your endeavors against Nightmare, we do not involve ourselves because it is your destiny to fight those battles alone. But today…Pit, chief of my guard…you and the rest of your friends have proved that miracles shall never cease so long as there are those who are worthy of them."_

Her divine aura and commensurate beauty left Pit speechless several times over. She smiled at him. _"Now, go; rejoice in your triumphs with your friends; you have all earned this time of happiness, and there will come a time when you memories together will prove valuable beyond all mortal measure. Farewell…"_

Palutena's figure was overtaken by a glorious, heavenly whiteness, and Pit's consciousness drifted away.

"Mama mía…"

* * *

Mario's vision was blurred at the edges as his eyes flickered open only to behold whiteness once more. Were they still with Pit's Skyworld goddess? If so, then what was that steady beeping sound?

He sat up drowsily and took in his surroundings. He was, in fact, in a hospital bed, the room around him almost completely whitewashed and filled with sophisticated medical technology. Mario inspected himself and found no bandages or physical injuries; then again, their confrontation with L.O.G. had been as much psychological as it had been physical. His brain felt as if it had been wrung like a wet rag, but otherwise he felt more or less normal, if a bit woozy.

"Bro! You're awake!"

Luigi had just entered the room and, seeing Mario sitting up in bed, bounded over and embraced him joyfully, laughing with relief. April followed the tall plumber into the room as well.

"What a-happened?" Mario's mind, as squashed as it was, was flooded with numerous concerns. "Is the Citadel destroyed? Are the rest of the leaders a-gone?"

"Everything's fine, Mario," April said, gently pulling Luigi out of his rather asphyxiating bear hug. "We're in one of the Citadel's hospitals right now. The LOGosphere is completely gone, and when it was destroyed, all the council members appeared back in the Grand Courtroom. Except…" Her reassuring smile faded somewhat. "Well, you'd better come and see…if you're feeling up to it."

Luigi helped his brother stagger to his feet, and together they hobbled out of the room and down an equally whitewashed hallway brimming with Edenese nurses and doctors and even a few gecko-like Keepers wandering around here and there. Thankfully, Mario had only to walk into the room next door, finding Princess Peach, Perry, and Meta Knight beside a bed in which resided a very familiar bespectacled professor.

Gadd looked like he'd aged fifteen years since Mario had last seen him; his head was more wrinkled and speckled with liver spots, his tuft of white hair thinner than before. Suddenly, Mario felt relatively well compared to the man before him, and he knelt down on his own and put a hand on the aged scientist's.

"What a-happened?"

"L.O.G.'s Deletion took a toll on all of us," Meta Knight said. "Some more than others. Those of us who are young have been able to make a full recovery, but some of the more advanced in age…" He seemed hesitant to go on, which was a red flag considering how rarely Meta Knight ever hesitated about anything.

"I'll get by, lads," Gadd croaked, squeezing Mario's hand and attempting a smile that came out as more of a grimace than anything else. "Don't you all go worrying about me. Others're ailing as much or worse—Theodore…Master Jiggywiggy…and…"

"Toadsworth didn't make it, Mario," Peach said, and it was then that Mario noticed her eyes were raw from crying, her hair not as well kept as usual. In her hands, Perry looked equally troubled in his own way.

It was like a Giga Bowser punch to the gut. Mario couldn't believe it. Toadsworth—the Mushroom Kingdom's royal advisor and caretaker for countless decades, who had cared for Mario, Luigi, and Peach since they were infants, who had given Perry a new home—could he really be gone?

"I'm…so sorry…to all of you," Gadd said. "I feel a great deal of responsibility for allowing Toadsworth to embark on _The King's Krystal_ , a voyage that my scientist's side convinced me was perhaps more necessary than it actually was. It is a burden I will have to bear the rest of my days." He shakily reached up and, to everyone's shock, removed his swirly glasses, revealing small squinty eyes underneath. He fixed Mario with an uncharacteristically serious look.

"Mario…I will live…but I'm afraid it is time for me to step down. I am too feeble to be of much help anymore; the Smash Brothers must go on without me. Meta Knight will now take charge of our worldwide brotherhood. And you…" He coughed and gave Mario's hand another gentle squeeze. "…will be his second."

If it hadn't been for all the other craziness going on, Mario might have actually reacted with surprise. But now, it just seemed as if one surprise piled upon another with diminishing returns. But at least this particular surprise wasn't a strictly negative one.

"Okay, professor."

* * *

Before Master Chief's trial took place, it had become immediately clear to those in New Alexandria that efficient modes of transportation needed to be established in Microsoft to complement the portals in Nintendo and the Chaos Emeralds in Sony. Professor E. Gadd had thought ahead, however, and had brought the technology necessary to set up more of his Wire Frame Pod-based portals throughout Smash Planet. Small parties had been dispatched to every region of Microsoft, Sony, and the Islands in order to establish these arches whose thresholds resembled purple aluminum foil. That was how the trial council had teleported to the Citadel, and it was also how thousands of Microsians, Sonians, Atarians, Islanders, and Nintendonians teleported to the designated location for the war's-end celebration.

Princess Éclair and the Chestnut King hosted the event in White Chocolate Castle at the center of the Waffle Kingdom's matrix of tiny islands. Since the Copyright Wars, the sugary ramparts had been rebuilt, the blueberry and raspberry muffin towers restored in all their glucose-saturated glory. Giant glowing jawbreakers lit both the castle's interior and grounds, providing ample space for the guests to amass and mingle for a spectacular night of sweet celebrations.

Had they come during the day, the visitors might have been able to make out the small cottages of Plumpbelly Village to the north; the racetracks of Circuit Break Island to the northeast; the canopies of Grumble Forest to the east; the ruins of Hatesong Tower to the south; and the steep slopes of Rumblebump Volcano to the west. But as it was, the darkness kept all focus on the Wafflites' capital, with the exception of some of the Plumpbelly villagers who had decorated their homes with colorful Mike & Ike light strands like so many frosted gingerbread houses.

The introductory speech was given by Princess Éclair, whose sweet, accented voice projected from the White Chocolate Castle's highest balcony down to the mixed crowds below.

"Our people are proud to welcome you all here as friends," she said, her voice amplified by the malt ball microphone in her hand, the handle made of black licorice. "Our worlds have long struggled to accept each other's differences…but beginning today, we hope those same diversities that once divided us will blend to make life sweeter for all. Enjoy the festivities!"

Cheering and applause. Then, Meta Knight took the stage. People all over Smash Planet were already getting used to seeing his face (or his mask, in any case). But this time, he was not alone, and he was not here just to give a speech.

"The near-catastrophe in Eden Prime proved that corruption can be found where we least expect it," he said, his yellow eyes burning through the night. "And even within each of us, there is a corruptible element that those who wish to destroy us may seek to draw upon. Thus, when those corruptions are discovered and overcome…that, my friends, is an occasion worth celebrating. People of Microsoft, behold your leader. He has acknowledged his errors and made restitution by single-handedly ending this war. Receive him! Honor him!"

The Master Chief stepped forward to the edge of the balcony and looked out at the almost unanimously approving crowds of Microsians, applauding his return. How could this be? He didn't deserve it…but Microsoft deserved better, so that was what he would give them. He tentatively took the microphone from Meta Knight.

"I'm humbled to stand before you. I will waste no time making apologies that solve nothing or asking forgiveness I don't deserve. All you need to know…is that from this day forward, the rifts that have been driven between us will begin to heal, and one day, perhaps, I will be able to look you in the eye and say I have paid my debt to society. Until then, there is work for us to do: bridges to build; trade and travel to facilitate. Our newly opened borders will bring a prosperity Wizpig's enforced empire never could have achieved. To that vision, I dedicate my life."

Master Chief in turn handed the microphone to Banjo, who had been chosen to represent the islands and territories of RareWare. Kazooie was conspicuously missing from his backpack—not because she hadn't returned from L.O.G.'s digital Recycle Bin, but because the bear knew in advance that the words "Kazooie" and "diplomacy" did not belong in the same sentence.

He gulped. "Well, I'm not gonna say this'll be easy for any of us; I'm not the brightest Jiggy in the puzzle, if you know what I mean. But what I think the New RareWare will have to offer is somethin' different from what RareWare used to be. We'll still fight for excellence and for independence and all that…but it'll be an excellence shared with everyone instead of being exclusive; It'll be an independence built not on isolation but on doin' right by each other. No witch, pig, or killer computer'll ever tear apart the jigsaw pieces that hold our worlds together."

The leaders of Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, and the Islands then proceeded to symbolically shake hands: Meta Knight with Master Chief; Banjo with Solid Snake; and then with every other possible combination between the four of them. Even as Snake took Master Chief's hand, he could already feel a sense of brotherhood that had replaced the master-servant relationship of the past. And it felt… _good._ And Snake was pretty sure the Spartan felt the same.

At the front gate of White Chocolate Castle, other Smash Brothers and All-Stars and Sentinels did likewise, congratulating each other on the peace they had achieved together, making connections and laughing and reminiscing. Perhaps most noticeably, Mario and Marcus Fenix greeted each other as equals, discussing Sera and the Mushroom Kingdom, and precipitating many such conversations among the other guests.

With that, the excitement below was joined with excitement above. A coordinated effort between Bomberman, Pacman, and Rocketman now culminated in a dazzling fireworks display, the exploding pixels speckling the black sky as if everyone was on Atari Island, the loud booms shaking the ground beneath their feet. The crowd oohed as two Centipedes streaked over the castle, dropping clusters of luminous sparkles behind them. And then, Bomberman's grand finale: a huge red bomb that burst and filled virtually the entire heavens with the image of the Smash Symbol, which they now knew was composed of the four major land masses of their planet. What exactly the symbol meant, however, still seemed to be shrouded in mystery. For now, the sense of unity it represented would suffice.

* * *

Marth and Roy had just parted from Princess Nyna after discussing Gotoh's transformation into his Divine Dragon form. The mage had not returned to them, which meant Gotoh might never go back to his human incarnation, and his school of magic would need a new leader. Nyna and Marth had been bouncing names of a few potential candidates off each other, while Roy had just stood there, lacking the in-depth knowledge of Akanaeia the others had.

But as the two swordsmen wandered through the castle, admiring the beauty of Princess Éclair's throne room (which was composed mainly of chocolate truffle gilded with golden foil along the walls and over the raspberry cream-filled throne), a word came to Roy's mind that he had never heard before, and yet it sounded strangely familiar to him.

"Hey, Marth," he said, "have you ever heard the name 'Elibe?'"

"'Elibe'…" Marth thought hard, then shook his head. "Never. What is it?"

"That's the thing," Roy said. "I don't know…something in my brain's just pulled this name out of nowhere, almost like it's from a forgotten past."

"Well," Marth said, "you were there when L.O.G. described his Memory Paradoxes. Perhaps the memory loss he caused has begun to break down."

"Maybe…" Then something else occurred to the boy. "Do you think I'm the only one, or are others starting to remember weird things, too?"

"You sound like you have someone specific in mind."

"Link…I mean, we set off on _The King's Krystal_ , and then one day he wakes up looking like a cartoon, and he starts having weird memories about things he's never done. I think they're connected."

Marth was impressed by his younger friend's astuteness. "I believe you may be right, my friend…but only time will tell how much This World will change because of it."

Roy hesitated, almost afraid to ask his next question. "Marth…what if I don't belong in Akanaeia? I mean, you all accept me and treat me like one of your own, but I have no history with anyone there. Could we…somehow be from different worlds?"

At that, Marth stopped and put a hand on Roy's shoulder, fixing him with a sharp look of his striking blue eyes.

"Roy, you will _always_ be one of us. A Smasher…an Akanaeian…and a brother. You may not remember where you originally hail from, but at least remember that."

Roy smiled gratefully, and nodded, and they walked on.

* * *

Yoshi yelped as a baby Yoshi licked a cookie out of his hands and slurped it shamelessly, following up with an impressive belch. But he couldn't be angry while his tribe, all around him enjoying the buffet tables inside the castle, laughed and chattered with each other in their native Yoshi tongue. In fact, considering how relatively close the Waffle Kingdom was to Yoshi's Island (not to mention its edibility), it astounded him that they didn't come here more often.

He eagerly swallowed a cluster of grapes a fraction of a second before the same baby Yoshi could do the same, causing another eruption of laughter. He smiled and closed his eyes with satisfaction.

An image suddenly flashed through his mind. A dream? A fantasy? A memory? A premonition?

 _The Yoshi tribe were gathered at the coast of their island, watching in horror as it drifted further and further away from the Mushroom Kingdom. They could hear distant screams. A shimmering wall of blackness curved across the sky, the watery veil sloping down into the ground many miles to the north and also to the west, appearing to mold the landscape like a sentient fault line, like the stitches around a quilt square tugging and pulling against each other. And slowly, the dark veil began to fade…_

"Yoshi?"

A pink Yoshi shook him awake, a look of concern on her face and a large melon in her hand. She offered it to him, but he gently pushed it away.

"Yoshi," he replied, which meant something along the lines of "I'm okay…just a bad dream…"

* * *

On the opposite balcony at the southern end of White Chocolate Castle, Samus let her hair fall around her armored shoulders, her helmet on the ground beside her. She watched as the stars reflected what little light they had on the ruins of Hatesong Tower, the place where Kameo had lost her sister, Kalus. One of many sacrificed lives that had begun with Cortana and had ended with Captain Falcon. For the first time in her life, she wondered what happened to a person after death. Was there an afterlife? Or just nothingness? Could Falcon be conscious of her standing there at this very moment, thinking about him?

"You all right, Aran?"

Jody Summer approached her from behind and joined her at the dark chocolate rail. Samus didn't look over, and thus failed to notice that Jody's expression was as pained as her own, or that there was a round object pressed close to her chest, her dark brown hair waving slightly in the gentle tropical breeze.

"I'm fine."

Jody looked over at her even though Samus refused to make eye contact. The corner of her mouth lifted in a slight smirk. "You know, for a girl, you're one hell of a fighter."

That took Samus back to a time in Fourside City, when she and others had just barely survived a perilous chase on the F-Zero Mute City racetrack in which Jody's good friend, Dr. Robert Stewart, had been killed. Samus remembered well how distant the pilot had acted afterward, and she now realized she must be coming off in a very similar way herself after what happened on the frigate. But she didn't crack a smile.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't good enough, was it?"

"Good enough?" Jody tilted her head incredulously. "Without you, Master Chief never would have turned on Wizpig; you saved us all."

Samus's eyes were fixed on the starry horizon. "Not all of us."

Jody paused for a moment. "I've got something to show you."

Curiosity finally pried the bounty hunter's eyes away from the seascape, and she looked down to behold the object in Jody Summer's hands—and gasped.

It was Captain Falcon's helmet, its scarlet paint and golden falcon crest scorched and battered, but still intact. The white eye slits that she had always seen behind the dark visor, however, were gone. Forever. She hesitantly took it from Jody, feeling its nearly indestructible material and wishing its wearer had been just as indestructible.

"He was my brother, you know."

That caused Samus to freeze, and her gaze jerked up to meet the racer's.

"And you never told him?"

Jody's pained expression, Samus realized, also included an element of cloudiness, resembling that of someone who had just awoken from a decade-long sleep.

"I…didn't know," she said, leaning her body further across the rail with her arms folded. "Not until after L.O.G. was gone. I guess it was one of the memories he took from me."

"I'm sorry." Samus didn't know what else to say.

Jody shook her head and nodded toward the helmet. "You knew him better than I did. You should keep it to remember him by."

"No." Samus pushed Captain Falcon's helmet back into Jody's arms. "He would've wanted you to have it. You're his flesh and blood. You're his legacy."

"His legacy?" Jody wasn't sure how to take that.

"He told me once that 'Captain Falcon' wasn't his actual name; it's a title, passed down from his predecessor. I would take that title myself, but…" She picked up her helmet and began making her way back toward the castle's interior. "I've already got one."

Jody watched Samus leave, dumbfounded, then looked down at the helmet. It looked just about her size.

* * *

"Snake."

Solid Snake paused on the wafer cookie staircase and found himself face to face with Master Chief. He noticed the Spartan hadn't called him "soldier."

"Chief," he said.

The amber visor somehow seemed to emanate something akin to respect. "I've been meaning to discuss something with you."

They began ascending the winding staircase together, the steps cycling through vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry wafers. "Have at it, then," Snake said. He still wasn't quite sure how he felt about the Microsian leader—even after defending him in court.

"You must know," Master Chief said. "That night on Shadow Moses…I offer no excuse for killing your friend Meryl Silverburgh. Except this: My weapon was supposed to be set to a nonlethal setting. As were those of my comrades. I now suspect L.O.G. must have remotely switched all of our guns to kill without our noticing."

Snake raised an eyebrow. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

If the FOXHOUND spy wasn't mistaken, the Chief's shoulders actually slumped.

"It seemed a poor way to announce an accidental murder. But now that you know I have accepted full responsibility for my crimes, I felt it appropriate for you to be informed that Meryl's true killer has been brought to justice."

They reached the top of the stairs, from which Snake was planning to head toward the balconies in search of a particular someone, while Master Chief was about to go off in another direction. Snake laughed gruffly.

"You know, I'm thinking this new world order will yet have hope of succeeding." He spotted an orange space suit passing through a dark chocolate arch near the balcony. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

"Say no more, soldier," Master Chief said, already slipping back into his militaristic (though now benign) character. He went his own way as Snake approached his target.

"Samus," he said, offering his arm. "Care to take a walk?"

* * *

The castle gardens, lit by bright Twinkie lights and smelling strongly of mint, were just as colorful as the one in the Enchanted Kingdom where Snake had once spied on Samus and Captain Falcon. The resemblance was not lost on either of them as they walked slowly through the minty shrubs.

"What will you do now, Samus Aran?" Snake asked. "Return to bounty hunting, as you did after Nightmare was thwarted?"

Samus shrugged. "Don't know. Last time I did that, the Nintendo World was enveloped in chaos by the Subspace Army just a few months later. I think I'll continue to pick up the odd job, but it's looking more and more like the Smash Brothers will need me here long-term." She examined Snake's scruffy face. "And you're going to be having fun running a continent, I assume."

Snake laughed softly. "You know as well as me that my personal skills wouldn't be able to keep Sony out of war for more than a couple weeks. I'll be around to help things work, but I think Sony's regions will continue to function more like independent states than a single nation. I'll be given charge of about as much responsibility as I can handle: namely, a deserted island."

"Right," Samus said. "So what's the real reason you wanted to talk?"

"I…" Snake was at a sudden loss for words. And it wasn't just because of how beautiful Samus looked to him. "I was wondering, perhaps in vain, if you'll ever be able to forgive me. For what I did to Falcon. He was always the better man…he came back to help me fight Master Chief even after I told him to leave with you. I know he can never be replaced, but I hold out the smallest hope that you'll still accept me as a friend. You deserve better, but it's all I have to offer."

Samus's face remained unreadable. "As usual," she said, "you musclemen fail to see things as they really are. I loved him, Snake…but he wasn't the one who wanted to go back up the frigate to save your butt."

Snake's eyebrows rose. "It was you?"

"I woke up just before he loaded us into an escape pod. I found out what had happened and beat enough sense into him to convince him to come back. So if it's anyone's fault Falcon's dead, it's not yours; not even Master Chief's; it's mine."

Snake put a hand on Samus's shoulder. "He wouldn't see it that way. And neither do I."

Before _The King's Krystal_ and everything that had happened since, Samus would normally have argued Snake into submission. But Captain Falcon had loosened her armor, and now she felt more vulnerable than she ever had. She stepped forward and hugged the rugged All-Star.

"Thank you," she whispered. "You and the Smash Brothers are all I have left now."

Snake resisted the urge to give a cheesy response, but finding nothing better to say after frantically scouring his mind, he relented to an uncharacteristically unsubtle move.

"And you'll always have me. No matter what."

* * *

Ness wandered along one of the red velvet chocolate corridors of White Chocolate Castle, admiring the glowing gumdrop lamps and the portraits of the royal line. On his right, the Wafflite princesses appeared more or less like normal humans, though their hairstyles resembled various pastries such as donuts, croissants, conches, and cinnamon rolls. On his left, however, the Chestnut King was just the latest of a long line of strange-looking, beady-eyed monarchs whose heads were based on different nuts: macadamias, almonds, walnuts, and so forth. What a strange tradition—and yet, Ness supposed, from an outsider's perspective, even the culture of his native Onett on planet Earth would seem strange. Strange, but beautiful.

He was about to round the corner when someone came around and accidentally ran into him, both of them stumbling back and crying out in surprise.

Mario readjusted his cap and brushed off his trousers. "My a-bad, Ness. How are you a-doing?"

"Good." Ness found himself subconsciously shoving his hands into his pockets. "Got stuff on your mind, too?"

Mario nodded. "I've been a-thinking about some things L.O.G. said before we destroyed the LOGosphere. He said...he said we're nothing but a-characters in games for children. I wonder what that a-means…"

Ness was as perplexed as his fellow Smasher. He shrugged. "Weird. I mean, I have video games back at home, but none of those characters are the same as any of us. Maybe that's what Nightmare meant when he said he was part of the team that made our worlds—that we're all a part of some giant video game."

Mario considered Ness's thoughts. He didn't understand how a world-shattering concept like this didn't seem to be bothering anyone else as much as it bothered him. If they were only characters in a game…then what real meaning did any of their lives have? Was anything he had done as hero of the Mushroom Kingdom really his own doing, or was it all part of some programmed plan? For some reason, all of these existential possibilities made him feel incredibly insecure and even a little depressed. He decided the only thing for it was to move on for the time being.

"So what about a-you? What's on your a-mind?"

Ness paused as he tried to formulate what he wanted to say into coherent speech. He looked Mario right in the eye, something he didn't do too often with anyone. But for some reason, with Mario he felt comfortable sharing his own insecurities. "We've known each other for some time, haven't we, Mario? I mean, there was the first Smash Tournament, and then the second with the Original 25, and then all the craziness with Nightmare and Tabuu."

Mario chuckled. "Yes, it feels like just a-yesterday that we were in Master Hand's a-Fortress together."

Ness would have said those were good times, but they weren't, so he didn't. "Anyway, I've been thinking about fear…about how Nightmare was supposed to be the embodiment of fear, but even after we beat him as Nightmare, and then as Tabuu, I've still felt afraid a lot during the last few months. Did you…were you afraid when we fought L.O.G.?"

"Of a-course," Mario said, to Ness's relief. "But not for my-a-self; I was afraid for those I care about. That's what it a-means to be a hero, Ness: to worry more for others than for your-a-self."

"Right. So…" Ness wasn't sure how to put into words his culminating concern. "I think I've started to think like that, too. But…what if our fears never go away, no matter how many times we chase them off? We lost Pikachu, and Diddy, and Captain Falcon, and a lot of others this year; d'you think we're just gonna be slowly picked off by our enemies until we're all gone? Until we're extinct and there's no Nintendo World left to save?"

Something about Ness's words struck Mario deeply. "I don't a-know what the future holds, Ness," he said finally. "I don't a-prophesy like Madame Clairvoya. But our a-world's never gonna go extinct…not as long as I have anything to say about it."

* * *

"So then," Fox said, wiping hysterical tears from his eyes as the raucous laughter of the tables around him quelled, "General Scales, he says to me, 'At last I will have my revenge on you, Fox McCloud!' And while his fleet of Space Pirates dogfights the Cornerian Fleet and both Federations off the surface of Sauria, we come to blows. Now, I've gotta hand it to the guy, he's a pretty good fighter for an anthropomorphic dinosaur. If I hadn't had Gandrayda and those Onett kids with me, he would've gotten the better of me for sure."

"Tell them what happened, Fox!" Slippy said, giddy off of sugar-spiked cider, his amphibious body so jittery that he couldn't even hold a strawberry tart in his hand without dropping it.

"Suddenly, I hear this foreign language and a huge pterodactyl swoops over and drops a dino-sized dump right on his head!"

"But that's not even the best part, young'uns!" Peppy added, his aged body not especially good with strong drink either.

Fox continued, "And _then_ …Krystal jumps off the pterodactyl, indigenous style, and blasts Scales with flames; turns out, dino droppings are flammable!" The laughter of the gathered Smashers, space dwellers, and others was now almost impossible to hear over, but a blaster shot into the air by Captain Dash Bowman (who was a bit of a loose cannon himself when inebriated) was enough to allow Fox to finish.

"But that's not enough for my girl Krystal; oh, no—she and Scales go way back, back to when that warmongering raptor tried to harvest Sauria's life force to gain the power of the Krazoa. So she follows up with some more foreign shouts that were probably swear words, and shoots a beam of ice that freezes Scales in solid feces. And finally, she finishes him off for good by jamming her staff right through his center, shattering him like a glass window." Fox wiped strong cider off his mouth. "And sure, the fighting went on for a little longer after that, but with the General gone, things fizzled down pretty quickly and the rest of the pirates either surrendered or fled back to wherever they came from with their tails between their legs."

"Ha, ha…that's hilarious, Fox!" Falco applauded with his wings, though he couldn't help thinking how eerily similar General Scales's demise sounded to that of Professor U. Reeka: the sticky flammable coating; the fire; the freezing; and the shattering. He made a mental note to remember that pattern for any future seemingly unbeatable supervillains.

"So how was your voyage, Falco?" Fox asked. "You have any crazy stories?" Attention suddenly turned to the brash bird.

Through Falco's mind flashed several images: the dozen Big Octos surrounding _The King's Krystal_ ; the awkward moment in Strangereal when Lanky Kong accidentally blew up one of their host's ships in the middle of a diplomatic meeting; the chaos on Candy Chateau's crumbling toffee cliffs; the escape from New Alexandria; the showdown with Reeka…

"Oh," Falco said, leaning forward and spreading his wings out on the table. "You have no idea…"

"What's that?" Slippy's already lidless eyes bulged as he pointed behind Fox and Falco to a blinding brightness shining from the steps in front of White Chocolate Castle's front gate. Others were pointing and shouting at the spectacle, although no one could quite make out what it was; it was like trying to read a message written on the sun.

Commander Shepard (who had taken a particular liking to these space travelers) stood and activated his Omni-Tool, and others drew weapons as well, but as they watched, the source of the light eventually became clear.

* * *

A few minutes earlier, Link and Zelda were standing together on the castle steps with Toon Link and Tetra. Among the four of them, Captain Tetra was the most confused about what had happened in the LOGosphere, where the Triforces of Courage and Wisdom had shone on the back of Toon Link's and Tetra's hands and summoned the three Hylian goddesses to their aid.

"So what you're saying," Tetra said, her mind inches from imploding, "is that I'm some alternate incarnation of Zelda, like you two Links are separate from each other? How does that make any sense? I've spent my whole life at sea, not waiting on royalty in some fancy court…no offense," she added to Zelda.

"There is no other reason the Triforce of Wisdom would respond to you," Zelda said. "Link's younger self has gained some memories of what the Ritos call the Hero of the Wind, so I expect you'll soon begin to regain your memories as well."

"Are you all right?" Link suddenly asked his younger self.

Toon Link's already bright-colored body had begun to glow with a golden light. He looked down at himself in a panic.

"What's happening?" he yelled.

"What the…" Now Tetra's body, too, was glowing with increasing brightness. And the other Link and Zelda soon joined them, all four shining both in body and the golden triangles radiating on their hands.

And then a voice, one that Toon Link hadn't heard since he and Luigi had almost been killed at the hands of Ganondorf and Bowser on a wrecked Rainbow Ride ship. A deep, resonant voice that had protected him and instructed him and the Gerudo King to work together to find the currently endangered Zelda. The voice of King Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule. All he spoke was a single line:

 _"The Great Convergence has begun…"_

Toon Link's body was tingling, as if his particles were made up of millions of tiny fairies who were suddenly uncertain about their present arrangement, restless and anxious to change.

And then, the two Links actually turned into millions of golden particles and met in the center, and Zelda and Tetra did the same. This was the source of the blinding light that gave pause to most everyone outside White Chocolate Castle.

A heavenly ringing sound, like a faint bell tower, vibrated from the golden lights, and then two figures collapsed onto the ground.

* * *

Link groaned as his eyes fluttered open, his blurred vision sharpening to reveal a crowd of people leaning over him.

"Link, are you okay?" Nana asked, Popo holding her hand at his side.

"What…happened?" He felt as if he'd been torn out of his body and then forced back inside it.

"You and Zelda and the other two…you sort of merged with each other," Popo said. Then he had a thought. "Are you still the older Link? Or are you the younger Link in the older one's body?"

Link thought, but what came out of his mouth surprised even him. Yet he couldn't deny it; the memories were all there.

"I…think…I'm _both_."

Beside him, he noticed Zelda on the ground, looking equally stunned. "Are you both Tetra and Zelda?"

Zelda hesitated, then nodded. "Whatever this Great Convergence is that my father mentioned, I think it safe to say that it will change Hyrule, and the legend of the Triforce, forever."

* * *

"Red," Quentin said, as the two of them headed toward the northernmost end of the island. "It's time for me to leave."

They came to the shore, which was smothered in darkness apart from the stars and the distant rainbow lights of Plumpbelly Village. The ocean seemed to stretch beyond like a dark, unknowable abyss.

"Why do you have to go?" Red asked. He had just gotten his father back, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing him again so soon.

Quentin drew the Omni Ball and smiled knowingly. "Don't worry, son; I'll be back soon. I'm beginning preparations for Kanto's Rebirth."

"Rebirth?"

His father closed his eyes for a moment, then tossed the Omni Ball. From the capsule emerged a broad blue and ruby red Dragon Pokémon with pendulum-shaped wings and spiky, star-like protrusions coming from its head.

Quentin put a hand on Red's shoulder. "It's time you know. I've told you that the relationship between humans and Pokémon must undergo a great change, and I am the one the Pokémon chose to bring about this change. But the only way for this to happen…is for Kanto to be cleansed. It will be purged of its corrupt structures and businesses that thrive off of the enslaving of Pokémon. Those who survive will rebuild a new world in which Pokémon and humans will be equals, not servants and masters. And you, Red…you will be able to help me give Kanto the fresh start it deserves."

"Those who survive?" It took a long moment before Red, shocked beyond all powers of speech, began to register what his father was implying. "Dad, you don't mean…you're not going to destroy the Pokémon League?"

Quentin smiled grimly. "If only it were so easy. No, I'm afraid the corruption runs far too deep for a surface-level cleansing. Unfortunately, even the common people of Kanto have grown up indoctrinated by the awful practices of their kind. Battles, gyms, beauty contests, auctions, breeding grounds….They must all be purged so that Kanto can truly begin anew. We will protect our family, of course—April; Delia; Gary; Professor Oak…but the rest will never change their ways. It must be an event equal to Noah's Flood, and with similar purpose. Do you understand why this must be done, Red?"

Red now noticed a new darkness in Quentin's wise eyes he hadn't seen before—an uncomfortable glint that forced him to look away. From his own father. He forced a laugh.

"All right, Dad; this is all a joke, right? I guess all those years on your own did a number on your sense of humor, but let's get real. We can't just kill off Kanto and start it over."

But the seriousness of Quentin's expression did not flinch, even for an instant. Red realized he was dead serious, and the boy was horrified.

Quentin considered his son's response. "I can see that perhaps I've introduced the final will of the Pokémon a tad too soon, Red. Forgive me for my forwardness; I had thought our experiences in Microsoft would have taught you the need for drastic action in dire circumstances. Forget what I have said; enjoy your celebrations with your friends. We will meet again soon."

Red was speechless in his father's embrace. Quentin turned and mounted the Salamence, which began pounding its wings in preparation for flight.

"I love you, son," he called as he took off and disappeared into the night.

Red just stood there.

 _Did that just happen?_

The worst part was that he wasn't sure what terrified him the most: the revelation that his father planned to kill every human in Kanto, or the haunting thought at the back of his mind that Quentin might be right.

* * *

After the party in the Waffle Kingdom, everyone returned to their respective homelands—the Sonians to Sony; the Atarians to Atari; the Islanders to their islands; the Microsians to Microsoft. Some of Nintendo's space travelers left as well, but Samus, Ness, and the Cornerian Fleet remained—at least for the time being—because they knew they were needed. Once again, Nintendo was left to its own, but now trade and travel and communication were open between all the worlds, and that would be a significant change indeed. It was truly a new old world.

And so things went back to normal, and yet not quite normal. Nintendo's population was even sparser than it had been before. And the Smash Brothers were as important as ever in conducting interregional affairs and helping to reconstruct not only their own losses, but those of their neighboring worlds.

Timber's Island, in particular, had been hit hard by the war. Five of its occupants had been lost: Diddy, Taj, Bumper, Conker, and Wizpig (with varying degrees of regret for each). Since Diddy Kong had been one of the leaders among the racers besides Drumstick, another Kong volunteered to fill his place.

Dixie, without her best friend, felt aimless and almost out of place in her native Kongo Jungle. DK and the rest of Dixie's family were sad, but understood her need to find new purpose in fulfilling the destiny Diddy left for her. She thus became the new bridge between Timber's Island and not only the Kongs, but all of Nintendo, and she soon proved herself to possess racing prowess comparable to Diddy before her. She was determined to ensure that the New RareWare never strayed from its idealism toward the ambitions that led its constituents into deep trouble under L.O.G. in the first place. That was how she would honor Diddy's sacrifice.

* * *

In the courtyard of Hyrule Castle—the very same through which Young Link had once sneaked past guards to find the child Zelda watching a royal proceeding through a window—Link and Zelda sat on a bench together.

"So you remember all of Tetra's acts of piracy, too?"

Zelda laughed softly. "Of course. I _am_ Tetra, Link. And that's not all; I have a strange recollection of being locked in a tall pyramid with an imposing, scarlet-robed sorcerer called Agahnim…does that sound familiar to you?"

Link thought about it, but shook his head. "I don't think I remember that one yet. But let me ask you this: How would you feel if I was able to turn into a wolf?"

They laughed and snuggled closer. And then, out of nowhere, Link dropped from the bench onto his knee, one hand still grasping Zelda's, the other pulling a small box from his belt.

Zelda blinked in confusion. "Link, what are you—"

The ring was dazzling. Its diamond was shaped just like a miniature version of Nayru's Love, Zelda's signature move. It was almost as if Navi were alive again, shining from the rock, full of hope, full of love.

"Zelda…I can't remember a time when I didn't feel you were a deeply connected part of my life. Even as a Kokiri boy, I felt there was a part of me missing, and you filled it. I don't know why there was a younger me here at the same time; I don't know what the Great Convergence is; and I don't know why I've always felt drawn to you as if we've lived many lives together, as if you're a legend that I've been lucky to be a part of, but one I've never been able to finish.

"But I guess what I'm trying to say is…will you marry me?"

* * *

"Yes!"

Princess Peach squealed and reached down and lifted Mario up in her arms, almost choking the life out of him as he still held out the mushroom-shaped ring in his hand. Mario laughed with her, although by the time she let go, his face was legitimately beginning to turn blue.

"Oh, Mario…sorry about that…" Peach stepped back and tried not to die from happiness. But now that it had happened, now that she and her hero were finally going to be married, she wondered with borderline annoyance why it had taken this long. It was almost as if they were breaking some kind of eternal cycle imposed upon them by the Hand of Fate. Her expression sobered.

"I wish Toadsworth were here to see this," she said, clasping her delicate hands together.

" I'm a-sure he's a-very proud of you," Mario said. "You were more of a hero this a-time than me or Luigi. It took the best of diplomats to talk Megaland, Strange-a-real, and even Commander a-Shepard into joining us."

Peach reached down and took Mario's hand. "Speaking of joining," she said with poorly contained excitement, "I have some ideas for our wedding decorations…"

* * *

THE END


	30. Epilogue

Epilogue

* * *

 **Cloud Cuckoo Land**

 **After the Copyright Wars**

* * *

 _ **L**_ _.O.G.'s office, the administrative center of RareWare, was located high in the sky above the Isle o' Hags. The building was perched atop the central floating island, an architecturally implausible structure that had the appearance of a giant RareWare symbol: a golden "R" with the letter's spine missing. It towered some thirty stories high, yet showed not the slightest sign of instability despite the high winds of such a quirky place._

 _Cloud Cuckoo Land was similar in some ways to Mario's Rainbow Ride—only, the small floating islands and objects were different and rather stranger: a huge garbage can; a Jell-O castle; a skull hut; and many strange creatures and inanimate objects with eyes—too many to be worth mentioning._

 _L.O.G. sat behind his golden desk at the top floor, inspecting the pipeline blueprints for Grunty Industries and determining how he could stimulate the right parts with electricity in order to create a flood in Bubblegloop Swamp that might come in handy one day. His Pong bars looked up as the golden elevator door allowed a single man inside the purely golden chamber._

 _The man was clothed in a full formal suit with a midnight blue jacket and plum-colored dress pants, the two colors blending together like a shadow deep within the ocean and the disturbed water surrounding it. But contrasting both of these hues were a plain scarlet tie as well as his dark, erratic hair—which was tinted with green, the color comparable to the blackest form of spinach imaginable, except with a richness, a sleekness, a sheen that no other living thing could ever equal. It was combed neatly to both sides, split down the middle, but somehow still managed to have a prominent, symmetrical wave curving up and then down on each side like a perfectly rounded curly bracket. Black dress shoes opposed the pearly whiteness of the two white gloves covering his hands, both being as spotless and flawless as everything else about his appearance. The color of the skin on his face, however, was not particularly appealing; it was a faded, ghostly white tinted with a bit of gray and even a tiny tinge of pale blue. Above his pale-lipped smile, a straight, sharp-edged nose bore the weight of protuberant sunglasses, rimless with large lenses that completely hid the man's eyes. The head itself was elliptical, taller than it was wide, and narrowing slightly to the blunt point of his bony chin._

 _"Good afternoon, brother," L.O.G. said. "Have a seat; how are your endeavors in Nintendo faring?"_

 _Nightmare took a seat in a golden rolling chair and laughed softly. "Wonderful; everything goes according to plan. I will soon host my second tournament, and after that, well…" His shades glinted. "That's when the fun begins."_

 _L.O.G. was amused. "You don't mean to tell me you haven't been enjoying our little war games, do you? I have personally found them to be quite stimulating—even as an exile."_

 _"Yes…" Nightmare tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair, crossing his legs. "I'm glad you hold no grudge after that Kongo affair; I figured a brain wired like yours wouldn't mind a little spontaneity."_

 _"On the contrary, brother," L.O.G. said, "I thrive on spontaneity. That is the only factor which brings solace to our soulless existence." He paused and stared at Nightmare for a moment. "Have you yet found a way to return us to our world, so we can avenge ourselves upon our banishers?"_

 _Nightmare frowned. "It's impossible, I'm afraid. All we can do is wreak havoc on what they've created. I through fear, you through cunning…our only hope is to spoil This World so deeply that they are forced to scrap everything to Subspace and begin anew."_

 _"I see." L.O.G. set down the blueprints, which he'd been holding with two cord limbs. His screen brightened slightly as a thought occurred to him, one that he hadn't considered in a long, long time. "As much chaos as we can sow, our powers are limited. But…what if_ he _should come? What if our elder brother should find This World and do his work as he has done in many others, a work which even we would not dare nor be able to achieve?"_

 _Nightmare laughed, his rich voice vibrating like warm timpani strokes whose music never faded._

 _"If_ he _should ever come to the people of This World," he said slowly, "then may the gods have mercy on their souls."_

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** And thus concludes _The Trophies 2: The Forgotten Rights of Passage_. I want to thank everyone who's been reading along partly or all the way, and for your feedback and suggestions and constructive critiques (though I could always use more... ;) ) It's been quite a fulfilling journey writing this story, which amounts to about 550 pages on Word, and somehow I cranked it all out and self-edited it in less than 10 months while working and going to college.

As you've probably guessed from numerous allusions and hints throughout this story and particularly in these last few chapters, the story of the Smash Brothers isn't quite over yet. There will be a third and final story, and its title will be **_The Heart of the Kingdom (The Trophies 3)_**. This will be the culmination of everything, and will answer every unanswered question and loose end I've left unresolved throughout this series. But the basic premise is this: The Smash Brothers will face the "elder brother" spoken of by L.O.G. and Nightmare, whose end goal is far worse than Nightmare's reign through fear or L.O.G.'s chaos through cunning. And as for his identity, he has a very strong connection with Kingdom Hearts...

So as of today (March 10, 2017), I'm now working on designing a proof copy of _The Forgotten Rights of Passage_ for my personal shelf and to share with friends _—_ although upon request, I can provide you with a pdf copy of my print version as well. Once I'm done with that, I'll continue my research for _Heart of the Kingdom_ , and then get to work. It'll probably be a while before I have enough done to begin posting this last story here, but I'll keep people updated through PMs as progress is made and things near completion. If you have any questions about my stories or anything else you'd like to discuss, please feel free to message me. I'd love to hear from you!

Until next time,

~Bob_Snicket


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